Broken Kunai

BY : MisatosPenPen
Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Sasuke
Dragon prints: 1718
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

I’m sooo sorry for more angsty Kakashi. I really am. I really don’t know what prompts these stories. But I love him and the Uchiha so much.

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Sasuke was meditating on the porch of his walled off home when he felt panicked chakra. He knew that chakra. Naruto. And close behind him: Sakura. No Kakashi or Sai. Sasuke opened his eyes, beginning to panic as well. Where was Kakashi?

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Naruto and Sakura ran as fast as they could in Sai’s wake. He’d painted a large bird to carry him and Kakashi back to Konoha post haste. Naruto and Sakura arrived several hours after the rest of their team and went straight to the hospital.

Tsunade was glad Sai had brought Kakashi home because he was able to report the situation clearly and emotionlessly. Sakura had stumbled into a trap and would have died if Kakashi and not jumped into to save her. But Kakashi was seriously wounded. Naruto—surprisingly—had easily taken charge and ordered Sai to take Kakashi back to Konoha after Sakura had done first aid. Sakura was a mess, feeling guilty for what happened to Kakashi and in shock so Naruto decided they had to abort the mission.

Tsunade was still in with Kakashi when Naruto and Sakura returned. They met Sai in the hallway.

“How is he?” Naruto asked.

“Alive. The Hokage is working on him.”

Sakura finally broke down completely. Naruto held her.

“She approved of your decisions, Naruto,” Sai continued. “She sent another team to finish the mission.”

Just then, Tsunade approached them. Sakura’s eyes were wide and full of fear.

“Kakashi will live,” Tsunade began. Sakura was immensely relieved. “But—” that arrested all their attention “—he lost his left leg. This was his last mission.”

Naruto and Sakura were too shocked to respond. Then Sakura broke down.

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Sasuke had been home for a year after Naruto beat some sense into him, but no one trusted him. When he came home, he asked and received a large home at the edge of the village with high walls around his property; it was practically a compound and would probably expand to a compound once Sasuke got around to fathering some heirs. Since he had still been the owner of a lot of land in Konoha all this time, the Hokage complied. And she was happy to put him out of the way and out of sight. But she had her own conditions like the ANBU perched around his home at all times and the fact it was difficult for him to leave his home and only then in the company of his ANBU guard.

So he couldn’t get news. Naruto hadn’t come by to tell him what happened. So he turned to his only resource.

“ANBU.” Sasuke didn’t even have to raise his voice and a masked man appeared. “If it’s not classified, find out what’s happened to Team Kakashi.” Surprisingly, the ANBU nodded and complied.

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Kakashi woke up to the sanitary, white, sunlit hospital room ceiling again. Tsunade had already told him: his leg was gone; he was retired. He felt a wave of self-pity. What a wonderful and apt way to start his retirement: alone.

Wounded and thrown away. He was reminded of Haku, one of the few Kakashi regretted killing. Zabuza wouldn’t have thrown the kid away, as broken as he thought he was. But Kakashi was. Only thirty and he was forced into retirement.

He looked over to see if someone had at least brought him one of his books and was shocked to see a form in the next bed. They never doubled up patients unless they really needed to. Kakashi sat up to get a better look at the sleeper. Sasuke?! Sasuke had come to visit him and never left? He checked to make sure he was still wearing his mask; he was.

Kakashi sat up and pulled himself back against the headboard and naturally looked down at the bed. The sheet lay flat where his left leg should be. He was angry and depressed at the same time. He was only thirty, what was he supposed to do for the rest of his life? He’d rather have been killed.

He looked back over at Sasuke’s sleeping face. Konoha had another Sharingan now. A more powerful one. He wasn’t needed anymore. But why was Sasuke here? Sasuke didn’t give a damn about his team, didn’t give a damn about him. Maybe he was in for an injury and someone thought they’d like each other’s company.

Kakashi wanted to go home. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to wallow in self-pity and give in and cry. His life was over. There was no use for a broken kunai.

He looked back at Sasuke. His life was over, but Sasuke’s was really just beginning. He wished Sasuke would disappear. Easiest way was just to go back to sleep and hope Sasuke would leave on his own.

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Kakashi woke up again to a beautiful night with the moon shinning right into his window. It was pretty, but too bright for his just opened eyes. He turned his head and found that Sasuke hadn’t just stayed, he’d moved to sitting at his bedside and leaning forward with his head in his arms, asleep again.

Why wouldn’t the kid leave?

“Are you ever going to leave?” Kakashi asked.

Sasuke looked up, woken by his sensei’s voice. His eyes were squinted and hostile, always grumpy when he woke up.

“Once I talk to you.”

“You have, now you can go.”

“Awfully anti-social, aren’t you?”

“Talk about the pot and the kettle.”

Sasuke smirked, but it died quickly. “I didn’t really have anything to say. I was just concerned.”

“Concerned?”

“Worried. Even after I was sure your life wasn’t in danger, I just . . . It’s nice being here anyway, ANBU’s keeping their distance. They trust me being here for some reason.”

“You’re surrounded by shinobi.”

“Hn.” Sasuke stretched then sort of hunched in on himself, feeling a little awkward. “I guess I was also thinking, I’m still under house arrest and you’re newly retired. Maybe we can . . . keep each other company.” Kakashi just stared at him without any emotion; Sasuke didn’t exhibit any either. He stood up. “Just a thought. I’m never busy if you want anything.” Sasuke finally left.

Alone again. Loneliness and depression cascaded over him. Sasuke’s presence had alleviated it for a few minutes. He looked out at the moon. Even if Sasuke was trying to reach out, it was better to push him away. Him and everyone else. This wound wasn’t really his fault, but he was humiliated. He could no longer be a shinobi. The thing that made him respected and needed, the thing that defined him, was ripped from him. He just wanted to shut himself away.

Like his father.

That thought made his lungs freeze. He’d end up like his father. He’d become what he always feared, what led him to be such an ass as a kid.

He looked down at the ground outside when some motion caught his eye. Sasuke and his ANBU escort. Sasuke looked as lonely as Kakashi felt. Kakashi’s heart bleed for the young Uchiha.

Since Sasuke returned, Kakashi hadn’t seen him. No one trusted him, no one talked about him. No one but Naruto. It make Kakashi angry when Naruto would mention Sasuke. Naruto was permitted to see his former teammate and Kakashi was probably also allowed, but he’d never asked, never tried. Sasuke had broken his heart that day they all tried to kill each other under that bridge. Sasuke’s words had hurt and believing he had to kill Sasuke had hurt even more. Kakashi had really loved Sasuke like a son, just like the Third loved Orochimaru. He shut his heart away after that. He didn’t want to love him or anyone else again. Everyone he loved died except Sasuke and Sasuke had . . .

But Sasuke had come here. Maybe Sasuke was just lonely and thought Kakashi would be one of the few who wouldn’t hate him. But Kakashi did hate him. Kakashi hated him more than he ever hated anyone else before. And it was because he’d loved his student so much.

It struck Kakashi like a lightning bolt that that was exactly how Sasuke had felt: he’d loved Itachi so much that when Itachi betrayed him, he hated him with such vitriol that any memory of how much he loved him only fed that rage. And that wasn’t so different than Kakashi’s feelings for the father who’d betrayed him by leaving him to grow up alone.

Kakashi looked at the flat sheet and pealed it away. They’d taken his leg off at the knee. It was heavily bandaged. He wanted to puke.

What the hell? He was probably going to commit suicide anyway; he couldn’t fuck his life up worse. He wouldn’t push Sasuke away.

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