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New Beginnings	By : tragic.violinist Category: Naruto AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 2490 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: NARUTO and its respective characters were created and are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement intended. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 1. New Beginnings
She awoke to the feeling of someone sitting on the edge of the bed, she slowly opened her eyes, "Neji?"
He turned slightly to look at her, "sorry if I woke you."
Hikari stifled a yawn, "it's okay, how was the mission?" She reached out for him.
He gave her a chaste kiss, "long, I'm just going to take a quick shower before I come to bed." She nodded as he headed for the bathroom.
She was still awake when he came out, his long hair loose, just a towel around his waist, "you didn't have to wait up for me," he told her as he slipped on a pair of shorts to sleep in. He climbed into bed and she arranged herself so that his arm was around her shoulders, head resting on his chest, and one leg hooked around him.
He tilted her head towards him and leaned in for a kiss, when she tried to deepen it he gently pulled away, "it's late, we should get some sleep."
She rested her head over his heart, listening to the gentle beat, "Neji, can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"I have a doctors appointment tomorrow at one, will you come with me?"
"Any time you want me to."
"I love you Neji."
"I love you too Hikari," he placed a kiss on her temple, he was exhausted sleep claimed him quickly.
Hikari woke early the next morning, the sun was barely over the horizon as she extracted herself from Neji's embrace, careful not to wake him. She wandered downstairs with the intent to start a pot of coffee. There was already one waiting for her, Itachi was sitting at the table eating some toast.
"G'Morning," she yawned as she poured herself a cup, "Kira still sleeping?"
"Yeah, I didn't hear you at all last night, did you sleep at all?" Her nightmares had gotten worse since the incident with Aki over six months ago, it wasn't unusual for her to scream out in the middle of the night.
Hikari stretched, "no, Prince Charming got home late last night, after that I slept like the dead," she said referring to Neji. "What are your plans for the day?" She inquired as she took a seat across from him.
"I have an appointment in an hour, then this afternoon Kira and I are supposed to look at the house."
"You too huh? I have an appointment with him this afternoon. How is the house coming anyway?"
"Most of the work should be wrapped up by the end of next week, Kira can't wait to get in there, she has plans for painting every room."
"I can't wait to see what she does with it, knowing her it'll look amazing."
Neji wandered into the room stopping to kiss the top of her head before heading to the fridge to find something to eat, "what cup are you on?"
"It's my first one," she told him indignantly. "What are your plans this morning?"
He pulled some eggs out of the fridge and turned on the stove, "I need to finish the mission report, we can drop it off on the way to your appointment. You hungry?"
"Famished," she smiled at him.
"I need to get going, see you guys later." Itachi announced, draining the last of his coffee and darting out the door to make his appointment.
Neji placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of her before taking the seat Itachi had just vacated. "How are you doing Hikari, really?"
Hikari sighed, "I don't know Neji, I just... I need something to do, something to lose myself in, you know Aunt Tsunade is keeping me restricted to just D-rank missions, I'm losing my mind."
He reached across the table to cover her hand with his own, "you're not going to lose your mind, you'll get past this and then you'll be back on harder missions." She gave him a small smile, that didn't quite reach her eyes, before picking at her food. "Hikari, talk to me please."
She opened her mouth to reply just as Kira entered the room.
"Good morning, did Itachi leave already?"
"Yeah just a few minutes ago, so tell me Kira what are your plans for those walls?" Hikari asked her, glad for the distraction, she wanted to tell him, she really did, she just wasn't sure how to word it.
Kira and Hikari kept up a steady conversation for the remainder of the meal, mostly talking about the new house and what the contractors would be working on after that, even after Neji excused himself to go work on his mission report.
Kira looked at the time, "I have to leave, I'm supposed to meet Naruto at the training grounds. You should come with us to check the place out this afternoon."
"I wish I could, but I have my own appointment to attend today," she made a sour face. "Have fun, I'm going to see if Neji's done with that report yet, I could use a game of shogi before I have to leave." Kira headed out and Hikari decided to check the study first.
She eased the door open quietly but he heard her anyway. "Did I interrupt?" she asked as she perched on the corner of the desk.
"No I was just finishing up."
"You up for a game of shogi? We haven't played in awhile."
"Sure, do you want to sit at the desk, or by the window?" he asked taking the board out of drawer.
"I'm fine here," she adjusted her position to sit more comfortably on the desk. "What do you say to making this interesting?"
Neji quirked an eyebrow at her, "interesting how?"
"Oh I don't know, how about we just say the winner gets to pick the prize?"
He smiled at her, "you're on, you start."
Hikari put more thought than usual into the game, determined to win at any cost. Neji noticed this and decided to take a chance, he was curious to see what she had planned if she won. He would let her win, but he had to make sure she didn't suspect him of throwing the game.
"Checkmate, I win," she said happily.
He stood up from his seat and pulled her into his arms, "congratulations, so what prize did you have in mind.
Hikari couldn't stop the blush that covered her face, all that trouble to win the game and now she had lost her nerve. "I think maybe I'll just hold on to it for later." Her eyes darted over to the clock that hung above the door. "We need to go if I'm going to be on time for my appointment." He nodded as he gathered his mission report together before following her out.
"Hikari, good to see you again," the receptionist greeted her. "The doctor just finished up with his last patient, you can go right in." Hikari nodded and entered the room, leaving Neji behind in the lobby.
"Good afternoon Dr. Kokoro," she said politely as she took a seat on the over stuffed couch.
He shuffled some papers on his desk before turning to her, giving her time to settle down and relax. He had learnt early on in their sessions that the girl was adverse to talking about her past, it had taken time to get past that. So he tried to let her set the pace for their meetings. After a few minutes she still hadn't spoken, he would have to question her gently. "How have you been sleeping?"
"Not great, I've been known to wake up the house as a result of the nightmares, Itachi usually comes in to check on me when I do. Last night was better though."
"Ah yes Neji was due back last night, how are things with you and Neji?"
"They're good, he remains very understanding." She was evading and they both knew it.
"Have you discussed what I suggested?"
Hikari sighed, "no, I just don't know how to bring it up. He treats me like a china doll, like I'll break if we do anything."
"This is something you will have to talk about sooner or later if you're going to get past what happened. You've tried waiting and it hasn't worked, you need to take control of the situation."
Her posture had become tense but she wasn't withdrawing from the conversation yet. "I just, I'm afraid of what he'll say if I bring it up, what if it's not just about the intimacy?"
"What do you think it's about if not that?"
He watched her eyes fill with tears, perhaps he had pushed too hard, but she had to face her fears at some point. She let out a harsh laugh, "I'm a metaphorical train wreck inside, damaged, broken, Aunt Tsunade even told me that the chances of me ever conceiving are remote at best, what good am I anymore."
"What did Neji say when he found out about that, what did he tell you?"
"He said that he loved me, and it doesn't matter as long as he has me."
"Yet you doubt him?"
"No, yes, I don't know what to think."
Dr. Kokoro sat back considering the situation, "that is another thing the two of your will have to discuss at length, but I think the two of you need to get past your intimacy issues first. Did Neji come with you today?"
Hikari nodded, "yes, he's waiting in the lobby for me."
"With your permission I would like to bring him in, perhaps you would feel more comfortable talking to him here so I can help move the conversation along if needed." Hikari took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves before agreeing to his suggestion. He pressed the button on his intercom, "Tanoshi, can you send Neji Hyuuga in to see me please?"
"Yes sir, right away."
Neji entered but a moment later, closing the door behind him before taking a seat next to Hikari on the couch, "are you okay?" she gave a small nod.
"Go head Hikari," Dr. Kokoro urged.
"I...it's just that," she paused, trying to find the right words to say, Neji was looking at her expectantly. She could feel herself starting to panic as her eyes darted around the room, as if looking for a place to hide or better yet escape. Tears threatened to spill and her voice caught in her throat, "I'm sorry I can't," she bolted from the room before anyone could stop her.
"Neji please stay here," he said as he saw the young man begin to rise from his spot on the couch. "I think we should talk for a few minutes before you go after her. Now this isn't an appointment for you so you're not required to answer any questions, but I think it would be beneficial for both of you if you did." Neji gave a small nod to show he was willing to at least listen. "Hikari tells me that the two of you are still having some issues, that you keep pushing her away if she tries to initiate anything."
He immediately got defensive, "I'm not pushing her away, I just don't want to scare her," his voice dropped down to barely above a whisper, "I don't want to lose her."
"Do you love her?"
Neji fixed him with a hard glare, "of course I do, I would do anything for her."
Dr. Kokoro nodded, glancing at Hikari's file in front of him, "I see that, you even went as far as to kill the man responsible for harming her."
Neji's eyes did not soften, "he deserved what he got."
"I'm not disputing that, but right now you need to think of Hikari and what's best for her. If she is going to get past this she needs to feel in control, trying to protect her by pushing away is just going to make matters worse. The next time she tries to initiate physical contact I think you should let her, let her set the pace. Pulling away just makes her second guess herself.
"In letting her take control you don't have to worry about pushing her to far and she can feel confident that she can end the exchange if it's too much for her. Do you think you can do that?"
Neji nodded, "Dr. Kokoro, if I may ask, why didn't she tell me?"
"For the same reason you keep pulling away, she's afraid to lose you." He saw Neji open his mouth to say more, but he put up his hand to silence the man, "I'm sure that you have assured her of your feelings, but in a situation like this, let's just say common sense doesn't always come naturally to those who have been hurt by someone who should have been there to protect them."
"Do you really think this will help her heal?"
"I do, I'm not saying that it will fix everything, there are other problems that need to be addressed as well but this is the first step."
"Thank you doctor," Neji excused himself from the office, Hikari wasn't out there waiting for him. He decided in favor of going home to wait for her, to give her time to seek him out.
Kira and Itachi stood outside their future home, from the outside it looked complete, a sturdy two storey brick structure. Large windows facing the front to let in plenty of natural light. "Ready?" she asked him.
He nodded and took her hand as they walked up the cobblestone walkway to the front door. The head contractor was just inside the door waiting for them.
"Glad you could make it," he said, taking the time to shake Itachi's hand. He led them through the house room by room. "As you can see we're just about done here. We still have to apply the drywall in the master bedroom, and we have a carpenter coming in tomorrow that will build bookshelves into the walls of the study.
"The appliances will be delivered by the end of the week, after that it's just the painting that needs to be done, but I understand that is something you want to take care of yourselves. I just wanted to give you a chance to see the place and make sure it's all to your liking before we add the finishing touches."
"It's beautiful," Kira said in awe, this was all very exciting for her. For the first time in almost ten years she would have a place to truly call home, and it would be with Itachi. She had been welcomed into the village by the Hokage, and she finally had some friends she could be herself with.
Itachi smiled at her, glad to see her happy. He owed her and Sasuke a lot for their continued support. He was enjoying the reprieve from the life they had previously led, but still a dark cloud hung over him. One day the Akatsuki would come looking, not just for her but Naruto as well. This time they wouldn't have to worry about facing it alone, they would have the support of the Hokage as well as the rest of the village. "Thank you for all your hard work," he told the contractor as they prepared to return to Hikari and Neji's place.
As they approached the house Itachi spotted Hikari running down the street like she was being chased by a pack of wild dogs, his powerful eyes told him she had been crying. "Kira, why don't you head into town and pick out some paints for the new house, then we'll go out for dinner."
Kira gave him a confused look but chose not to argue, she had seen the look on Hikari's face even if she couldn't see the tears. "Alright, shall I meet you around five then at that little place Neji and Hikari showed us?"
He nodded and watched her until she was out of sight before entering their temporary dwelling, he could hear a series of thuds and grunts coming from the basement and knew the girl was in the dojo. He rapped his knuckles against the door frame announcing his presence, he had learned quickly that she did not appreciate being snuck up on, and was more than willing to voice her displeasure. "Hikari?"
She spared him a single glance before returning to her task of reducing a practice dummy to shreds. "What?" she snapped.
Itachi entered the room fully, when she didn't protest his presence, he took a seat against the wall. "I would ask if you were okay, but I imagine that would be redundant considering the state of your target."
"How very perceptive of you," her voice laced with sarcasm.
He watched the way her body moved, landing hit after hit, her muscles overly tense, her brow furrowed in frustration. It wasn't the first time he had seen her like this, and he would be lying if he said she had never seen him in a similar state. One of the benefits, or downfalls depending on how you looked at it, of living in the same house and sharing the same shrink. "Bad news from Dr. Kokoro?"
"Not at all, just thick headed people who can't take their heads out of their asses long enough to see what's happening right in front of them." Each word she said was punctuated with another hit, if she kept up this pace there would be nothing left to hit.
He didn't need to ask who she was referring to, he just picked up a couple of kendo sticks, "catch," he tossed her one.
She caught it effortlessly as she turned to face him, he was already charging her, she blocked, parried and tried to land a blow of her own, he dodged.
"Have you tried pointing out the problem to him?"
"Ugh, you sound just like the fucking shrink. No I haven't, and before you ask, yes I know I should," she growled at him. "I shouldn't have to though, it's not like I've ever been a subtle person."
"Yet you still haven't come right out and said it? Are you going to let something as simple as a few missed signals separate you?"
He was right, they both knew it. As straight forward as she was, what had happened to her made that topic taboo, as much as she loathed to admit it. "I'm working on it. What about you, how are your sessions going?"
It was his turn to scowl, "they are as pointless as ever. I don't see why the Hokage insists that I continue with them, it's not like they're going to let me back into ANBU, the most I can hope for are Chuunin level missions and even that's stretch." Shortly after his return to Konoha, Tsunade had insisted that he pass a physical and psychological assessment before he would be assigned missions again. Psychologically he was just as messed up if not more so than Hikari, killing off your whole family will do that to you. Physically he was in top shape, with the exception of his eyes. Years of prolonged use of his dojutsu had done a number on his vision, it was only through the continued use of the Sharingan that he could see at all, were he to deactivate it, he would be unable to see completely.
"Aunt Tsunade, just has our best interests in mind, despite how pointless we consider the process, they're just trying to help us," Hikari said in quiet resignation. A thought struck her at the same time as his kendo stick did, square in the gut, knocking the wind out of her. He stopped his assault and they returned their weapons to their proper place. "Have I ever told you about the training technique Uncle Orochi taught me?"
"No, what does that have to do with our discussion?"
"It could help you compensate for your lack of vision. You have to train your other senses to make them stronger. It's surprisingly effective, but not easy to learn, it takes a lot of discipline."
He was intrigued, "you've mastered this?" he asked as they headed back upstairs, both considerably more relaxed after working off their frustrations.
"I wouldn't say mastered, but I'm proficient, ask Sasuke, he'll tell you." She poured them each a large glass of water, wiping the sweat from her face with her sleeve.
"And you could show me this technique?"
"If you want, you'll have to do most of the work by yourself but I could help you through it."
"I would appreciate that."
They heard the front door open and close, Neji came into the kitchen, surprised to see Hikari already home, he had assumed she would have headed to one of Konoha's many training grounds, but one look of their flushed, sweat covered faces told him she had opted for the dojo instead.
It didn't take a genius to sense the growing tension in the room, he knew she would resent him for it, but Itachi knew this was something the two of them had to work out alone, he quickly drained his glass. "Well I need to get going, I'm meeting Kira for dinner, see you guys later." He made a hasty retreat, not missing the panicked look Hikari shot him, like he was throwing her to the wolves.
An uncomfortable silence settled over the room. Neji was the first to break it, "can we talk?" Hikari just nodded and followed him to the den.
She sat down first, on one end of the couch, she frowned when he took the armchair across from her. "Did he tell you?" she asked, referring to the doctor.
Neji nodded, he had noticed the look on her face, as he chose a seat away from her, and he instantly regretted it. Here he was trying to make things better when all he was doing was making it worse. He got up and joined her on the couch, placed a gentle arm around her waist, his fingers flexed instinctively, a silent invitation for her to come closer.
Hikari shifted next to him, curling up so she could rest her head in his lap, he stroked her hair lovingly. She sobbed quietly, her tears soaking into his pants, "I just wish I could forget, why did this have to happen. What did I do to deserve this?"
"Nothing Hikari, nothing. This isn't your fault, don't blame yourself. He's gone now, dead, he can never hurt you again."
"I know," she cried even harder "but at night, when you're not there, the nightmares, they just won't go away. I need you Neji, I can't do this without you."
His hand stilled, "Hikari look at me," she sat up to face him, "I'm not going anywhere, I love you and I want to help you, but I need you to tell me what you need, I need you talk to me, please. Don't keep anything from me."
She leaned in, "I need you to help me forget," she whispered against his lips before drawing him into a kiss. He eagerly responded to her and didn't pull away when she sought to deepen it. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip, moaning at the taste of him when he granted her access. She found her courage and moved to straddle his hips as she ran her fingers through his silky tresses, letting his hair fall loose as she did so.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping his touch gentle, relishing in the feel of her body pressed against him. He had missed the way she melded to him, how she would respond to every little touch with those soft moans and gasps as she was doing now.
She arched into him as his fingers played their way down her spine, sending shivers all the way down to her toes. She felt his erection come to life, and she lost her nerve. She scampered off of his lap and back into her spot on the couch, she used her fingers to massage her temples as she took a couple of deep breaths.
"Hikari, I'm sorry," she saw he was about to move further away and she reached out to grab his hand.
"Please stay, don't be sorry, I just need a minute, please, I'll be fine."
He stayed put, trying to think of a way to help her relax, he remembered something she had done for him when he was particularly stressed. "Come sit on the floor in front of me," she gave him a questioning look. "Trust me?" She nodded and sat at his feet.
He leaned forward and began to mimic what she had done for him, he used his Byakugan and could see where the knots were concentrated. He targeted each one, expertly manipulating each one until her muscles relaxed. She tilted her head back to rest on the couch between his knees, a small moan escaping her mouth.
"Mmm, Neji, that feels really good." She had completely forgotten about what had triggered her panic attack, focusing only on his touch.
"Can you scootch forward?" When she had he slid down the join her on the floor, positioning his legs on either side of her, he got to work on her spine, giving it the same treatment he had to her shoulders. She leaned back once again, resting her head on his shoulder. "Better?"
"Loads," she melted into him, bringing her back to his chest, she loved the way his arms snaked around her midriff, holding her gently but firmly. She pulled him down to draw him into a soft sweet kiss. "I love you Neji."
"I love you too, Hikari," his lips brushed against her throat as he spoke.
It may not have been perfect, but she felt better than she had in a long time. She slipped off to sleep, not caring that they were on the floor. He had her in his arms and that was all that mattered.
At some point Neji must have fallen asleep too, because that's how Itachi and Kira found them a few hours later when they returned from dinner. Kira retrieved a spare blanket from the linen closet and covered them before heading upstairs with Itachi, they would let them sleep.
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New Beginnings