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Even If You Knew, What Would You Do?	By : narugal101 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Naruto Views: 3092 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I make any money from the writing of this fic

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
Enter
the Douchebag
As the grey-haired stranger approached me I felt my
skin crawl.� This guy was giving me
extremely bad vibes.� He was
harmless-looking enough.� His hair was
almost the same shade as Kakashi�s.�
However, that was where all of the resemblance ended.� He wore his hair tied back in a ponytail with
the Konoha hitai ate tied over the forehead as per usual. His eyes were nothing
special, the usual dark brown which was nothing surprising for this area of the
world.� He wore a shirt similar to
Sasuke�s.� One of those gay wrap around
polar necks, his was black and he wore black shorts to match.
As he got closer to me I felt the creepiness he
seemed to emit get even worse.�
I looked away hoping the moron would get the hint
and leave well enough alone.
This of course was too much to expect because next
thing I know a deep baritone was asking me.
�Excuse me, aren�t you Uzumaki Naruto?�
I cringed before looking up to meet his eyes, a fake
smile habitually pasted on my features.
�Yeah that�s me!� I piped excited per usual for no
reason at all as my mask generally was.�
I made my face scrunch up in confusion.�
�Who�re you?�
He smiled congenially enough which in and of itself
was a warning to me.� No one ever
approached me; it seemed I had an inner repel mechanism that worked on nearly
everyone.
�I am Yakushi, Kabuto.�
I smiled blankly as if the name meant nothing.� Meanwhile inside my head warning bells were
going off.� I knew of every shinobi in
Konoha and he had always been a bit suspicious.�
This was his seventh attempt at the Chunin exams, and he always made it
through to the second round and withdrew for some reason or another just before
the third round.
�I�m Uzumaki Naruto!�
His smile faltered for a moment and I observed his
eyes trying their best not to roll in amazement that someone could actually be
this stupid.
Yeah
just keep thinking that buddy.� It�ll
make it all that much easier to figure out exactly what your game is.
�So,� he finally went on, miraculously without
rolling his eyes, �this is your first time entering the Chunin exams, huh?�
Duh
moron.
�Yeah!�� I
chimed gleefully.� �Our sensei
recommended us for some reason.� I guess
he thinks we�re pretty tough.�
His eyes did roll then.
You
think that�s bad?� Try having to come up
with this shit.
�Uchiha Sasuke is on your team huh?� he harped
seemingly random.�
I felt myself still, so that was his angle.
Immediately I scrunched my features in what I hoped
mimicked pouting.�
�Who wants to talk about that bastard with a stick
up his ass?!�
Kabuto�s lip curled in disgust; evidently he didn�t
take kindly to me insulting the retarded Uchiha.�
�That�s a bit mean to say Uzumaki-kun.� I mean everyone calls him a genius.� After all, he is the last remaining Uchiha.�
I didn�t need to force myself to become indignant at
that.
�Humph!�
You�re just like everyone else!�
No one can see past stupid Sasuke and his stupid stupidness!�
Evidently Kabuto was satisfied that I was as stupid
as everyone seemed to say.
Luckily I didn�t have to converse with him one on
one much longer.� Sasuke, Sakura, and the
three other Konoha teams took that moment to walk up to us.
The others included Rock Lee, Tenten of whose last
name I still couldn�t remember, Hyuuga Neji, Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata,
Aburame Shino, Nara Shikamaru, Akamichi Chouji, and Yamanaka Ino.
�If it isn�t the class loser!� Kiba shouted as he
approached me loudly.� �Hey kid shouldn�t
you have ran crying from the room already?�
Kiba never failed to irritate me, if it hadn�t been
for the fact that it would have raised suspicion I would have killed him a long
time ago.
�If it isn�t Kiba the smelly dog boy!� I shouted
right back noting a growing feeling of discourse throughout the room.
I looked around the room and noticed that the Konoha
group was getting an awful lot of glares.�
The reason for this of course being that rookie genin hardly ever made
it into the Chunin exams.�
Not only had rookies made it, but three teams
had.�
Mighto Gai�s group had been held back a year, their
sensei believing that it was far too soon to put his beloved team through such
a taxing ordeal.
Evidently the presence of so many Konoha rookies was
pissing the other teams off.� I noted
that most of these other teams looked as though they had years of experience
under their belt.�
Hmmm,
this might be a problem.
Kiba not being the sharpest tool in the shed didn�t
notice any of this, seemingly content to try to and raise my ire.
�Honestly kid I can�t believe they made you into a
shinobi at all,� he said in mock amazement.�
�If it had been up to me you would have been kicked out of the academy
for being a failure long ago.�
�Well I guess it�s a good thing they don�t let
idiots decide such things.� I couldn�t stop myself from spouting not realizing
at first that I had stringed together a halfway decent insult, completely
unlike my usual persona.
I looked away as I realized that except for Sasuke
everyone surrounding me was gaping at with something akin to shock, including
Kiba.
Way
to go Naruto, letting them know you have a brain was not in the plan.� Shit how to fix this�
�Man I wish I had brought some ramen!� I whined
loudly, hoping this would throw everyone off.
Evidently it worked, most looked away as if they had
thought they were hearing things, some rolled their eyes.
However two people didn�t look completely
convinced.� That was Nara Shikamaru and
that bastard Kabuto.
Oh
well it�s better than all of them.
Deciding that more evidence of my stupidity was
needed I targeted the entire room of which the tension was only rising at our
antics.
�I am going to beat all of you!� I exclaimed
pointing a finger in their direction.� �I
am Uzumaki Naruto.� Remember that name!�
Gasps at my audacity and unmitigated gall could be
heard from all over the room.�
However, I was more worried about the reactions from
the people around me.
�Way to go Naruto.� Kiba complained.� �Those guys were already itching to kick our
asses before and now you�ve guaranteed it.�
Well at least the
attention had been taken off of me, and that was all I cared about.��
The next thing I knew the collar of my god awful
jumpsuit was grabbed and I saw the flash of a musical note indicating the
shinobi was from the Sound village.�
Before the blow from his fists could connect with my
face, I was grabbed by Kabuto and thrown out of the way, him having taken the
place of my face as the blow coming from the sound Nin made contact with his
ribs instead.
�I guess I missed.� The sound Nin maliciously
sneered.� �Oh well, at least I still
managed to hit one of those pieces of Konoha shit.�
I rushed over to Kabuto knowing that the moron
wasn�t hurt, but hey it looked better if I actually gave a shit.
�Are you all right Kabuto?!� I made sure to scream
in his ear.� After all, he was groaning
in pain as though all of the bones in his body had been broken.
�Kabuto speak to me!� I screeched in worry into his
ear knowing full well that the sound shinobi had used some sort of sound wave
attack to increase the damage his blow had dealt.
�I�m fine Uzumaki-kun.� He murmured seemingly in a
lot of pain.� �But could you please stop
shouting in my ear?�
�Sure!� I shouted one last time taking sick
satisfaction in his pained grimace.
I aimed my gaze at the Sound shinobi whose name I
think was Donzo, Dozu, or Dodoo as I was going to call him from now on.
�You bastard.� I growled quietly enough for just him
to hear.� �That was a pretty mean thing
to do Yakushi-san.� Poo.�
Poo�s eyes bulged out in anger.
�How dare you, you little runt!� he exclaimed in
rage.� �Just wait, you�ll be the first
one I come after!�
I scrunched my eyes up in a glare.
�Bring it on Poo, bastards like you don�t scare me.�
�It�s Dozu!�
�No it�s Poo from now on!�
�Your ass is mine you little shit!� he made as if to
come after me, but his teammates hearing the commotion had restrained him.
His team members consisted of another guy whose name
I couldn�t remember.� The other member, a
girl, was there as well.� Her name too
was unknown to me.
Said girl took that moment to look at me.� She was normal looking enough, although the
part where she looked at me and brought her snake-like tongue out to lick her
lips was most decidedly not normal.
I felt myself get nauseous.
That
whole team is full of freaks.� From
mummy-wrapped Poo to that freakish snake girl, the other guy looks normal
enough, but with the other two oddities who really knows?
I just grinned at the Sound team knowing full well
that I had made a new enemy.� Oh well
just add it to my ever growing list.
Adding insult to injury I gleefully flipped them off
before turning back to the Konoha group.
�Naruto what do you think you�re doing!� Sakura
hissed embarrassed by her idiotic team member.�
�You are going to make us more of a target.�
�Who cares?� I bit off.� �It�s not like we wouldn�t have to eventually
face them anyway.�
�I know that!� she whined incessantly.� �But there�s still no need to antagonize them
needlessly!�
And with that she burst into tears.
I just rolled my eyes, turning my attention back to
Kabuto who had evidently made a miraculous recovery.�
None of which the others in the group noticed.
And
these people have the gall to call themselves shinobi.
Truly it was sad.
I was more suspicious of the bastard than ever.
Kabuto chose that moment to show the group
something.
�Hey guys, want to see something cool?�
I looked at him skeptically, as if this fool even
knew the meaning of the word.
Everyone else signified their assent.
Kabuto pulled what appeared to be a deck of cards of
his pocket.
�What are those?� Tenten asked curiously.
�They are cards on almost every ninja here.� Kabuto
replied smugly, openly looking at her with disdain as if she should have known
that.� �These cards have information on
strengths, weaknesses, and how many missions of what ranks each has performed.�
I was not at all impressed and I tried not to let it
show.
�So do you have one on me?!� I deliberately bellowed
into his ear.�
He glowered at me in annoyance and then as if
remembering that he too was maintaining a fa�ade he wiped the expression off of
his face and replaced it with an easygoing smile.
�Of course Uzumaki-kun.��
He concentrated on the blank card and I looked at
him confused.
�So where is it?�
Kabuto glared at me.
�I have to infuse it with my chakra first.�
�Well do it then!� I pouted.
He huffed in annoyance, but held the card in his
hand molding the chakra needed to activate it.�
Sure enough my goofy shinobi profile picture showed up along with my
statistics�at least my known statistics.
I laughed inwardly as my pathetic talents were put
on display for the entire group.
�Wow Uzumaki-kun,� Kabuto couldn�t help but sneer,
�you really are rather pathetic aren�t you?�
�Don�t call me that!� I insisted.� �That stupid card is all wrong.�
�My cards are never wrong.� Kabuto retorted
smugly.�
�You just suck Naruto.� Sakura taunted.
�That�s true,� Tenten agreed.
�So troublesome.� Shikamaru in his own way trying to
loosely defend me.� �Who cares what some
card says?�
Shikamaru and Chouji were the only two from my
academy classes that I could honestly say never went out of their way to be
cruel to me.� Hinata too never seemed to
taunt me; she would just stammer and blush during the few times I spoke to
her.�
Evidently she had a bit of a crush on me, I would
never encourage that though.� Eventually
she would get over it, and then maybe realize that that idiot of an Inuuk had
liked her for forever.
Humans,
I
thought with disgust, further
demonstrating how biased and retarded they can be.
The four teams of Konoha team seemed to disband
after that, apparently Kabuto�s �cool� little trick wasn�t as awesome as he
thought it was.
It was then that I realized that I was left alone
with Kabuto.
Shit,
I got lost in thought again.
I decided to have it out with this bastard even if I
had to reveal a bit of my real personality.�
I had realized exactly who he was and now had a good idea of what he was
up to.
�Let me guess.� I drawled out not at all impressed
with the ruse he had tried to play so far.�
�This has all been some attempt to gain my trust so that I�ll give you
information on Sasuke?�
His eyes widened and told me that I was definitely
warm, and then he chuckled.
�So the retarded and clueless moron was all just an
act?�� He laughed as if finding one of
his own joked funny.� �I must say you�re
not what I expected you to be.�
�Well isn�t that too bad.� I coldly retorted.� �Because I live to fulfill your
expectations.�
Now those dark eyes narrowed in calculation.
�That�s right.� I mocked him openly.� �I know who you are and all about the bastard
you work for.� So how about we end the
bullshit and you tell me exactly what it is that you want?�
His look of confusion brought a smirk to my face.
�Aw.� I whispered loud enough for him to hear.� �I would have thought Orochimaru taught you
better.�
Now that got a response, he openly glared at me, all
hints of friendliness gone.
�You will tell me how you obtained that information,
Jinchuuriki!� he hissed.
Not particularly enjoying that word I gave him my
most scathing glare.
�I�ll show you mine if you show me yours� I purred
antagonizing him purposely.
�Seriously, is it supposed to impress me that you
know that?�� I calmly scoffed.� �Trust me Kabuto the info I have on you far
outweighs that which you have on me.� I
could expose your treacherous ass right now if I wanted to.�
Then I grinned.
His eyes filled with confusion.
�But what fun would that be?� I giggled.� �I guess I�ll see you later in the game
Kabuto-chan, let�s be great friends!�
I left him with that bemused look on his face,
laughing the entire time.
Being underestimated was so much fun sometimes.� The funny part was that I�d bluffed about
knowing his plans.� All I knew for sure
was that the bastard was affiliated with Orochimaru, one of the three legendary
Sannin.
While a lot of people might argue that I was cursed
because of Kyuubi, I felt blessed.
It especially came in handy with situations like
this where I may be taken advantage of if it weren�t for Kyuubi�s vast
knowledge pool.� Since we�d merged
Kyuubi�s knowledge had become my own.
�� Of
course I didn�t know everything.� For
example what that bastard Orochimaru had planned.� Still knowing a bit about the enemy was
certainly better than knowing nothing at all.
A male voice brought me out of my reverie.� I looked up and smiled at the source of said
voice.
The owner of the voice spoke again.
�Everyone please take a seat, the first part of the
Chunin exams is about to begin.�
- 3
- 4
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Even If You Knew, What Would You Do?