Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

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By : Sessakag
Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Naruto/Hinata
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Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Chapter Twelve
Naruto The Nice Guy

༒༻𝕹𝖆𝖗𝖚𝖙𝖔༺༒

March 24, 2012

It was twelve o’ four in the afternoon, and Naruto was four chapters deep in his book.
Having spent the better part of his morning on the treadmill and making phone calls, Naruto retreated to his office to finish his workout entertaining the book Sasuke had given him, though, if Sasuke could see how he was using the book, Naruto had no doubt he’d be in for an earful of level ten Sasuke nagging.
His office was a mixture of sharp edged, Jacobean hardwood furniture, and random splotches of dark orange accents courtesy of the tabletop lamps, abstract paintings and soft furred rung. A few easy access ‘work tools’ were propped up as decorations along his bookshelves in the form of heavy blunt statues, ornate looking books with secret compartments and tapered innocuous sculptures. More deadly decorative items were hung up on the charcoal-blue walls, artistically carved swords and knives, two mounted guns full loaded, though his accent wall, the one directly behind him that showcased a splash of deep Sanguinello orange that looked more like blood splatter when the sun went down, was left bare of decoration.
Settled behind his desk, absentmindedly working his left bicep with a fifty pound dumbbell, bullshit self help book clutched in his right hand, Naruto read silently through the newest passage.
Or more specifically, a whole lot of brain rot that was about to get the pen.
He’d made it farther into the book than he thought he would.
Wasn’t like any of the information was all that enlightening, helpful or interesting, but the book itself held a lot of entertainment value for him. These corny chapter titles, unrealistic bullet point suggestions and beta male explanations were bringing out the teacher in him he hadn’t known existed. Maybe he should write his own damn book on how to get a woman in ways that would actually work , hell, he could probably teach a whole goddamn class if this was what was passing for dating advice now days.
He’d been pickin up bitches since he was fourteen, that kind of track record spoke for itself.
He was a real expert in the field.
In contrast, this book had to have been written for a full on novice or an absolute idiot.
The contents of chapter one were so mind-numbingly obvious he’d almost closed the book the moment he read the title.
Practice Good Hygiene ; because women don’t wanna be anywhere near an onion-pits smelling, filthy faced, unwashed yuck mouth animal (his edit, not the book’s). If a fully functioning adult couldn’t reason that shit out without this book laying it out for them, they had bigger fucking problems than not knowing how to attract a woman.
Suffice to say, Naruto wasn’t a fuckin animal.
Sure, he wasn’t some spa-going pretty boy that soaked with bath balms and got his nails done at the salon, but he wiped his ass good, scrubbed himself down with soap in the shower and brushed his teeth everyday.
Bare minimum shit, but it’d been working for him since he was a snot nosed brat.
Now, pushing thirty, Naruto wasn’t changing shit.
Ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Chapter two was another single braincell topic.
Another pointless chapter that shouldn’t have made it in the final product.
Dress With Care; Naruto was able to summarize the sixteen page, diarrhea of words explaining what ‘dress with care’ meant down to one easy to follow, easy to understand sentence; dress like you aren’t a fuckin homeless bum depending on church handouts to fill out the closet you don’t have.
It was common fuckin sense, even for someone who was mostly indifferent to clothes and fashion as him.
Naruto hated shopping, but he did like nice things from time to time.
He bought a lot of his stuff in high end spaces, but even when he didn’t, nothing he bought looked like they were fished out of a goodwill donation bucket. He also wasn’t the type to spend more than five minutes in the closet and two in the mirror. Grab something orange, throw on some pants and call it a day was his default setting.
He had too much shit going on to spend more than a handful of minutes contemplating what he was gonna wear.
He had criminal activity to coordinate.
People to disembowel.
Territory to defend.
A woman to wrap around his little finger.
He didn’t have time to fuck around, but he still made sure those seven minutes left him looking more than decent.
Despite his ‘roll-out-of-bed-and-throw-some-shit-on’ lifestyle, there were situations where he spent ten times as long getting dressed to the nines, thought that was usually when he got called to court and had to sit at the defendant table next Sasuke.
Or when he saw an opportunity to exploit a situation with flash.
He’d spent nearly an hour getting ready at Hinata’s place yesterday.
Scrubbing himself free of blood and other internal unmentionables carefully and thoroughly.
Washing and conditioning his hair until it shined.
Draping himself in some of his more expensive clothes and even pricier ice.
None of his polish the day before had been for the hell of it, he’d had a specific purpose.
From the way she tried to fight his obnoxiously excessive tip, Naruto knew Hinata wasn’t materialistic, practical enough to at least take money she needed to survive as he’d learned yesterday, but definitely not digging for gold. That made his hunt harder in the short term, but far easier in the long term. It sucked not being able to just dangle money in her face to get what he wanted, but there was something else he could use as a bait.
Stability.
Dressing as he had yesterday painted her an accurate picture of how much money he was actually worth, how much easier he could make her life if he was so inclined without just flat out telling her he was loaded.
It was a subtle move to fuck with her subconscious mind.
To rewire her pretty little head to associate his obscene wealth and stature with a chance for stability, something he planned to exploit later; when she trusted him with more than a polite smile, when she was vulnerable and distraught and needing someone willing and able to slay her demons.
Now see, that was game worth passing on to novices.
Had chapter two touched on weaponizing clothes to gain a tactical advantage he wouldn’t have had to rip all those pages out.
Chapter three was where the true hilarity started creeping in.
Give Her Space To Notice You.
Naruto had laughed until his sides ached.
Through tears of hilarity he’d read through line after line explaining why it was important avoid coming on too strong, that first contact should be contact-less to foster a safe, comfortable space for the woman in question. That he should start with direct, but subtle middle school level glances and awkward assed ‘smile flashes’ that were sure to turn a woman all the way off, whenever he naturally caught her attention to signal interest.
Who the fuck was trying to pick up women using that weird ass morse code?
Naruto seriously wanted to know because whoever did had to be sick in the head.
Needless to say, he’d made a few changes.
Dating 101 with Professor Naruto;
See a girl you want?
Here’s what you do.
Get off your ass, grow a pair and make some shit happen.
Sitting there with your thumbs up your ass playing one-sided peek-a-boo won’t get you pussy.
Class dismissed.
Chapter four was something he could get down with, in fact, one of the suggestions listed was the tactic he was using with Hinata, though, his motives were polar fuckin opposite than the book’s.
Ice Breakers.
Suggestion one; the washed out, played out Self Introduction .
Hi, I noticed you across the room and wanted to say hello, my name is blah blah blah…
So fuckin boring it made his skin itch.
Suggestion two; Comment On An Activity She’s Currently Engaging In To Initiate A Conversation . This was more of a coffee shop situation; lot of women read books and shit at cafes and one question about the book or what kinda coffee she was sipping on got you a solid foot in the door.
Easy, unoriginal but effective. He’d given it a solid B- as a low skill, starter method.
Suggestion three was more his speed.
Offer To Help Her With Something.
Sounded so fuckin innocent on the surface, but from his experience, he knew, nothing chained a woman to a man like gratitude.
It was a power move.
A real mind-fuck way to tip the scales in your favor and still come out smelling like roses.
Holding a door open for her.
Letting her cut ahead of you in line.
Grabbing the disgusting low fat cereal from the top shelf just out of her reach.
Dropping a months worth of rent on her table.
Simple shit.
Nice guy shit.
The role he was playing right now.
Naruto the nice guy.
He snorted a laugh mid bicep curl, his sore ribs protesting another round of hilarity.
Naruto the nice guy was the funniest shit to pass through his head in the last five minutes.
He skimmed the next few lines, brow raised as he touched on the break down of how kind gestures shouldn’t be used to exploit but as a means to showcase one’s ability to think of her needs first and blah, blah, blah.
Dropping the book to his desk, he picked up his red pen and started scratching shit out.
A knock on the door interrupted his ‘scholarly’ editing.
“What?” he grunted out, inking a carmine line through another sentence as glanced up.
Brick slipped through the door, sunglasses gleaming, a familiar, bloated manila folder in hand.
“Excuse the intrusion,” Brick said, closing the door behind him.
“Daddy Hyuuga finally makin some moves,” Naruto guessed, crossing out another unnecessary line of text with a sharp stroke of his pen.
Brick nodded, holding up the burner phone Naruto had taken from Hinata’s other stalker two weeks ago, “the man you…escorted from her duplex that night missed three check-ins from his superior, the fourth from Hiashi Hyuuga himself, as a result, he has sent another investigator to pick up where the last left off five days ago.”
Irritation tapped his pulse, Naruto cut glacial baby blues to Brick, “and I’m just hearing about this five day later because…”
“It’s been extremely difficult to gather intel from Redaku Koku as the country is not only very far from Hi no Kuni, given it’s extreme isolation, lagging technological and slow industrial progress, establishing communications with the mole Geppetto placed has been significantly delayed,” Brick explained, moving closer to his desk and pocketing the phone, “the plant has also run into a number of issues uncovering information, and is finding it hard to overcome logistical problems in sending that information to us. Geppetto was barely able to get his mole planted at all. The Redaku Koku government does not trust outsiders and its citizens share their paranoia.”
His irritation flattened to a low simmer.
Naruto had done his own research on Redaku Koku when he got Hinata’s initial background from Brick. That country was more paranoid than he was full blown tweakin on Angel Dust, and that was saying a lot.
He knew it wasn’t gonna be easy to get information with just his own resources.
Old Man Cripple could probably get what they needed in a fraction of the time as it’d taken them but Naruto didn’t want that bastard knowing shit about Hinata for as long as possible.
They were just gonna have to get their shit together for now.
“Still, good ol’ Geppetto found a way, eh?” he hummed as he skimmed the next bullet-point in his book in an effort to focus on something other than his aggravation.
Sasori was a spy master beyond measure.
Man got into places that even Naruto couldn’t reach, planting or creating new puppets with seemingly more ease than Old Man Cripple.
“Indeed,” Brick agreed, opening the file and pulling out a document with a world map, “since we’re days behind this new development, Geppetto has his puppets watching and listening at all international airports to Hi no Kuni and surrounding nations,” placing the paper on the desk, Brick pointed at the x’s as he spoke, “as well as the maritime boundary border patrol. Every ear on the street is open, and every border smuggling ring has been put on notice. All points of entry into the country are covered. If they try to gain access to Hi no Kuni, which should be, at the earliest, tomorrow, we’ll be the first to know.”
That would have to do for now.
Speaking of border crossings…
Naruto studied the three framed pictures propped up on his desk.
The first was one of his most prized possessions.
The first picture he’d ever taken of Hinata.
Side profile. Full zoom through the front window of his SUV at 11:13 am.
She was dressed for work and locking her front door.
The next was a rare capture through a small gap in her blinds.
Sitting on her couch in a little white shirt and gray yoga pants.
Painting her little toes bright purple at 10:32 pm.
The last, well, the last spoke for itself.
Hinata’s shiny black hair hanging just above her lush ass, that delicious dip in her spine peaking between that long dark curtain.
Super zoom in from across the street as she walked into the grocery store at 9:47 am.
“How’d Hinata sneak into the country anyway?” Naruto asked, setting his 50lb weight on the floor with a thud, finally giving Brick his undivided attention now that the discussion had shifted to one of his favorite topics, “doesn’t seem like she ran away from daddy with a lotta resources or the connections to enter another country, damn near on the other side of the globe, undocumented all by herself.”
“We believe an oligarch hostile to the Hyuuga family assisted her, most likely paying her way through a migrant smuggling ring stationed in a nearby border country,” Brick said, shuffling papers in the file for the image of an dark haired, dark eyed, strict faced older woman, “your woman maintained a secret friendship with this woman years after her father forbade it.”
Amusement coiled in his gut as his eyes darted back to the innocent images of Hinata on his desk.
Who would’ve guessed his timid little bunny was a rebel at heart.
“Choosing to come here was a particularly smart move, Hi no Kuni is massive, trying to find one illegal immigrant among millions is the same as attempting to find a needle in a ten story haystack, and considering the hostilities between Hi no Kuni and Redaku Koku currently, extradition requests are likely to be denied even if they knew where she was in Hi no Kuni,” Brick pointed out.
“And she exploited that shit,” Naruto crowed.
Brick nodded, “she’s kept low on the radar, working under the table and renting off the books. She’s had no contact with anyone from her homeland in the years since her escape. I’m sure she knows she could have applied for amnesty, I’ve no doubt her application would have been approved, unfortunately, legal status wouldn’t have stopped her father from trying to retrieve her as he is now. Trying to gain citizenship would have merely painted a larger target on her back.”
And his Hina was too smart to fall into trap like that.
Naruto grinned, preening with pride at her cunning as though he’d been the architect of her power moves himself, enthralled with her ability to think on her feet and make fucked up situations her bitch.
“There was something else that happened, an incident the night she was smuggled out of the country that’s further destabilized her homeland and fanned the flames of chaos. If this information is accurate, which I believe without a doubt it is, your woman may have been the cause of it all.”
Twirling his pen, Naruto waited for more, damn near on the edge of his seat.
The story Brick regurgitated had his pulse pounding through his veins, his cock hardening beneath his sweats with each bloody, salacious detail he relayed. By the time it was over, by the time he’d learned just what his woman was capable of, he felt like he needed a goddamn cigarette.
Fuck …
Fuck he loved this fuckin woman!
Naruto was disaster incarnate, but goddamn, Hinata was no fuckin slacker either!
If he needed another sign (he didn’t) that this, this thing between them was fate, this was it.
Irrefutable proof that they belonged together.
That the Uzumaki Devil had found his Chaos Queen.
Fuck baby mama, this woman was his future wife!
“And you’re convinced it was her,” he breathed, eyes blazing with undisguised obsession and naked lust, “that Hinata was the one that pulled the trigger on all that shit?”
“Yes,” Shino confirmed, “though some of it, was most likely unintentional. She’s been cut off from her home country for years and Redaku Koku would never allow the true extent of damage to reach public broadcast; she most likely doesn’t know how far reaching the consequences were, and after going over the information we have on her, I have no doubt what occurred wasn’t what she wanted.”
Naruto snorted a laugh, adjusting his rigid sex as he spoke, “of fuckin course not, but that’s what makes it so fuckin sexy, ‘ttebayo. Nothing hotter than an angel covered in sin.”
Damn, that was some poetic shit.
He really needed to get started on a book.
Brick cleared his throat, the only outward sign of his discomfort with his leader’s openly lusting demeanor, though he made no comment, “your orders on how we should handle this situation going forward? We must take care to limit our interference in international-”
“Fuck all that,” Naruto dismissed with a wave of his hand.
He did what the fuck he wanted.
Limits were for pussies and bottom feeders.
He drummed his fingers on the table as his mind shifted through problems, solutions and possible international blow back.
His little illegal girlfriend was turning out to be a whole heap of trouble.
He palmed himself again, heavy lidded gaze swerving to the photo of her plump bottom.
Just his goddamn type.
Sasuke had better strap the fuck in, because shit was about to get rocky.
Naruto wasn’t backing down from this brewing shit storm, he was leaning into it.
He grinned, anticipation buzzing in his veins.
So, what to do about the first wave of bullshit.
No way in hell were they getting his woman, he’d break their fuckin necks himself before he let them take her back to bumfuck Redaku Koku, a place where most of the inhabitants still shit in outhouses.
Although…
He saw an opportunity to make use of them to get what he wanted most.
“Let em’ poke around when they find a way across the border, but keep a close eye on em’, updates every hour, they don’t shit without me knowing about it.”
Brick bowed his head, “understood. I’ll send a message Geppetto and Shizuka to-.”
A phone rang.
Brick fell silent as Naruto fished one of three phones out of his pocket and glanced at the screen.
Unknown number.
Very few people got through to his business number, whoever was on the phone was either someone he knew or had to be slinging some big time influence to have his direct line.
Nobody that knew his number gave it out lightly.
He thumbed the prompt to connect the call and grunted out, “yeah?”
“Who is this?! Where is the man in charge, I demand you put him on the phone right now or I’ll rip your dick off and shove it up your ass!”
His eyes narrowed, fingers twitching as though the neck of the woman screaming in his ear was already in his hands.
This was a fuckin joke, right?
Somebody was trying be a fuckin comedian, right?
“Hello! Answer me right now, goddamn it!”
Naruto didn’t give a fuck what this was.
She was fuckin up his good mood and that alone was worthy of a sledgehammer to the kneecaps and all ten toes.
“You got about three seconds to tell me who the fuck you are before I find out myself, and if I have to come looking for you bitch, I’ll pull your fuckin intestines through your nose and fuckin hang you with em’ when I do,” he promised calmly, eyes on Brick, silently demanding he get ready to find this diarrhea mouth cunt with the gall to call his phone screaming and making demands.
“If you think your paltry threats put fear in my heart then you’re even stupider than you sound. Enough, put Nine on the phone now!”
Brow twitching, pen snapping beneath his thumb, Naruto gritted out, “number one, watch your fuckin mouth, I’m not gonna say it again. Two, you’re speakin to him and pissin him off. Get to the fuckin point before you find yourself rotting in my basement.”
Shuffling on the other end of the phone, then a new voice, this voice softer, less brash and hostile, “Ameyuri says she would love to see you try.”
“Hell of a way to go out, but if she’s that suicidal, I got no problem granting her death wish.”
Laughter, throaty and melodic filled his ear, “vicious, short-tempered and crude. Your violent, bloodthirsty reputation proceeds you, Nine.”
“I’m done playing games, who the fuck is this?”
“Madam Mei, handsome,” she announced as though he was supposed to recognize the name.
“Doesn’t ring a bell, lady,” Naruto muttered.
“I happen to be the most prolific Madam in the region! Twenty-five years in the brothel business, servicing-”
“That means fuck all to me,” Naruto hadn’t been in a brothel, legal or otherwise, since his deployment years ago, “why the fuck are you calling my phone?”
“I believe you have something that belongs to me, darling.”
“Oh yeah? And what the fuck would that be?”
“My mother.”
Brow stretching towards his hairline, Naruto searched his memory for the last time he’d knowingly kidnapped somebody’s mother.
Been a while.
At least three months…
It clicked out of nowhere.
“That wrinkle faced old crone is your mother!” he burst with a rumbling laugh, “Turkey Neck Lodi, right?”
“What an incredibly rude thing to say,” Madam Mei replied, voice tight with outrage, “my mother looks very good for her age.”
“How the fuck old was she?” Naruto snicker, “way her skin was saggin’ and foldin’ she had to be pushin at least a thousand.”
“I did not call to hear insults about my mother.”
“Oh really?” Naruto chuckled, “then what the hell did you call for? Enlighten me Madam Mei.”
A pregnant silence filled the line before she continued, “I called to check in on my dear old mother who manages a duplex in Konoha, imagine my surprise when a man answered the phone and not my sweet old mother.”
“Hmmm, that’s strange, wonder why that happened,” Naruto pondered, relaxing back against his plush chair, and plopping his feet up on his desk, “maybe she got herself in trouble. That kinda thing happens when you set up shop in someone else’s backyard, dattebayo.”
“Where is she, Nine.”
“Greed said she retired.”
“Put my mother on the phone right now.”
“Can’t, she’s got a really bad headache right now,” he told her, grinning up at ceiling as he leaned back in his chair.
“You had no right to take over her operation, my mother-”
“Pretty sure that wrinkled leather bag you call a mother never got on her knees and begged to do business in Konoha like the rest of the small fry around here. She’s not in my books, and depending on how long she’s been operating without my blessing, she owes me dues plus interest.”
“Alright, perhaps…my mother forgot to mention her business ventures to you, this is a matter easily remedied. We are two level headed, practical individuals, we should be able to discuss this in a civilized manner and come to an amicable agreement as two leaders, should we not?”
“Sureeee, I’m all for negotiations.”
“Excellent. How about we meet face to face. You will bring my mother with you, won’t you darling?”
“Of course, I’ll pack her up and bring her along, where we meetin’?”
Another pause, then, “Hayama, three days from now, at 6 pm.”
Hinata had a night shift that day, so, hell no, “four days from now, 10 am, nonnegotiable. We done now?”
“10 am isn’t-”
“We’re done.”
He hit the end button, tucked his phone away and right himself in his chair. He blinked, staring at Brick still in the room, having completely forgotten the man’s presence entirely.
“Damn Brick, thought you were part of the wall again,” he joked.
Brick cleared his throat, an indication he wasn’t amused.
“Do what you gotta do about the Hyuuga problem,” Naruto ordered, rising from his chair, “and make sure everybody involved has my number on speed dial.”
Brick nodded as he passed by.
Naruto headed for his room to get ready for another meeting with the woman he adored.
Nukenin members dipped their chins and offered their knuckles as he moved through the compound, though Naruto barely noticed the knuckles he tapped with his own, or the half naked women scurrying from one bedroom full of men to the other, or the stumbling men that wobbled around him that smelled of bitter alcohol. The faint scent of marijuana wafted through the hall, a few thunderous voices argued from the kitchen, the screech of a referee whistle over the roar of football fans on TV and in the room blasted his left ear as he walked by a set of open doors, all of it was background noise he was used to at the compound. Like a party that never seemed to end.
Just another day at Nukenin headquarters.
An hour later, he was showered, dressed and ready to go.
Fifteen minutes after that, he was parked on the west side of the bar across from Teuchi’s, completely out of the direct line of sight of patrons or employee’s entering and exiting the ramen eatery.
Hinata bus would be here in ten minutes, her shift starting three minutes after.
Naruto planned on spending at least a half hour watching her from the bar.
There wasn’t a whole lot he agreed with in that dumbass book but he did agree too much too soon was a bad idea.
Lot of women weren’t into clingy guys.
Too much, too early, and they were ready to run.
His woman was already flighty for reasons unrelated to personal preference, he probably shouldn’t give her more reason to try and take the fuck off.
Not that’d she’d get very far.
Taking a drag of his cigarette, Naruto pulled open the dark, mirrored glass door and stepped inside the dimly lit water hole.
Tori Tori was the name of bar that’d become his little stake out place.
A small, inconspicuous square smack dab in the middle of a long shopping/entertainment strip. Wasn’t anything fancy, a stereotypical local bar with a line of mismatched electronic slot machines, a beat up old hardwood bar fitted with black top metallic stools. Tending the bar was a grizzled old man who’s jaw and chin were swallowed by a puffy salt and pepper beard.
Out of habit, Naruto scanned the room, though there wasn’t much to note.
It was dead at the moment.
A mere handful of regulars quietly nursing beers and playing slots.
He paused, a sharp glint in his eyes.
Although, there was one patron that caught his interest.
The moon wasn’t out right now, but it’s blessings continued.
Feeling more than a little irritated, highly amused and decidedly malicious, Naruto swaggered over to the bar, half of Rotation, Fiend and Shadow following him at a distance.
“Whiskey, on the rock,” he grunted at the barman as he reached the bar.
The old man gave him an assessing look, his gaze darting behind him to the two men behind him, then turned to grab a glass.
“Gonna have a conversation in a minute,” Naruto said conversationally as the grayed haired bartender as the man sat a glass in front of him and began to fill it, “and I’d hate to have it interrupted, ‘ttebayo.”
The barman’s gray eyes snapped to his, though he didn’t answer as he poured.
He didn’t have to say anything.
Naruto could read the tension in his stiffly held form.
Naruto wasn’t one to name drop, he’d rather have bottom feeders recognize him without him having to say a damn word, that was true power and influence. This withered looking employee clearly had his ear to the streets, because he either knew who Naruto was or suspected he was affiliated with Konoha’s biggest criminally inclined headache.
Leaning in to the bar, Naruto continued, “figure you’re packin under that bar, but considering what I’m packing, what you got ain’t gonna be enough.”
Salt and pepper beard glanced over his shoulder again, tagging his Rotation before looking back at the tatted blonde.
“You get in my way, you’d better have every fuckin member of your family armed to the teeth, down to the grandkids old man.”
The barman straightened, eyes narrowing.
Naruto could read every question in his gray eyes, and every conclusion the man drew as that cloudy gaze swept the tattoos across his knuckles, bulging strength beneath his shirt along his obliques. Then he turned his scrutiny outside the windows, then to the two men, Shadow and Fiend, taking a seat by the bar nearest the employee only exit and right beside the wind next to the entrance door.
A single chin lift from the elderly barman, and the standoff was over.
Naruto grabbed his whiskey and walked away, satisfied the man knew what time it was.
A few curious drunks eyed him as he passed, their glassy eyes gleaming with silent comprehension of the devil strutting among them.
Some eying the exit and their distance to it.
Others watching with sadistic interest over their beers.
One patron in particular was in his own little world.
Blind, deaf and dumb to the current temperature of the room.
Like a baby deer surrounded by wolves.
Naruto slid smoothly onto the stool across from his impromptu prey, hiding his vindictive relish of the apprehensive expression that spread across the man’s face behind a ‘default friendly’ smile that’d carried him through life.
“Sup,” Naruto greeted as he made himself comfortable, settling his bulk on the chair and perching a foot on the sturdy rail that made up part of their table as he set his glass down on the hardwood surface.
“Uhh…” the man muttered, looking around, befuddled and confused as though the tatted blonde were talking to someone he couldn’t see, “hi, uh…do I know you?”
“Nope.”
“Oh…”
“Know you though,” Naruto told him, taking a swig of his drink.
“You do?” the man questioned, genuinely surprised, “where-”
“Teuchi’s. Seen you strike out with that waitress the other day,” Naruto told him, smile fading despite himself, a predatory stillness seeping into his body, “you touched her arm and she dropped all that shit across the floor. Recognized you when I came in the bar, thought I’d stop and chat. You looked pretty pathetic sitting here drinking alone, thought you could use some company, ‘ttebayo.”
“Oh, um…thanks?” the man replied, unsure how to take the backhanded insult-compliment, “that’s uh…really nice of you.”
Back to flashing pearly whites, true amusement curving his lips, Naruto boasted, “I’m a really nice guy, ya know. Name’s Naruto.”
Seeming a little less befuddled but openly questioning the validity of that first statement as he tagged the blonde’s bulging muscles and canvas of tattoos again, the man responded, “Bakuto.”
“So, what’s your deal with that waitress?” he asked, cutting right to the chase, “how’d you end up fuckin up like that.”
Bakuto sighed deeply, completely deflating, “well…it’s kind of a long story.”
Naruto tapped his foot impatiently.
He didn’t have all fuckin night.
Bakuto threw back the rest of his beer, slamming it back on the table with another sigh, face flushed with intoxicant, “I won’t bore you with all the details but…I messed up big time with her, and not just yesterday either. I’ve been trying to ask her out for nearly a year, and every time I go for it, I chicken out. I say and do a lot of stupid stuff because I’m nervous.”
As though reliving every idiotic thing he’d done in the last year, Bakuto threaded frustrated fingers through his hair, exhaling deeply.
Naruto couldn’t help but imagine making that long, drawn out breath his last.
“Made a complete ass out of myself acting like a freaking idiot. I know she thinks I have an issue with her specifically, and I don’t blame her with how I behave around her, it’s just, I can’t seem to get my shit together when she’d right in front of me,” he sighed again, “I really am pathetic.”
If that wasn’t the understatement of the year.
“So…I’ve been sitting here all afternoon trying to find courage at the bottom of a beer bottle, but…not really having much luck,” he chuckled ruefully, ducking his head, “I’ve gotta get it together though. Hinata’s a beautiful woman, kind, funny, smart, if I keep dragging my feet, someone else is gonna snatch her up. Honestly, I’m surprised nobody has yet.”
“You don’t think she has a man?” Naruto questioned, staring at the clinking ice cubes as he swirled his glass.
Looking decidedly sick, “Uhhh, well…I-I’m hoping not…I’ve never seen one around-”
“You said so yourself, she’s a beautiful woman,” Naruto pressed, staring at the bashful man, “big fuckin titties, gorgeous fuckin face, more ass than should be legal. Think a woman like that doesn’t have a man sniffing around her, a man that’d break you in half for even breathing in her direction?”
Mouth hanging open, Bakuto stared back at him, embarrassed by the vulgar description, “m-maybe you shouldn’t, uh, talk about Hinata-san like that…it seems kind of…disrespectful…and uh, if there is a uh, guy that’d break me in half for breathing in her direction then I’ll back off.”
“Back off, huh?” Naruto murmured, stared down the squirming man, “no fight or nothing. Just cut tail and run, eh?”
No fuckin spine, not even a hint.
And yet, he had the fuckin unmitigated gall to touch her like he did…
Reaching across the table, Naruto snagged Bakuto’s sickeningly soft, laughably small hand in his own calloused, inked laden bear sized palm, startling the hapless male.
“Ya know your problem is?” Naruto asked, staring at the hand, the manicured tipped fingers that had wrapped around his woman’s arm yesterday.
Looking more than a bit worried, Bakuto’s answer was barely a whisper through his suddenly dry lips, “w-what…?”
“I think you gotta a whole lot of problems, Bakuto, but your biggest problem is that you’re a spineless, dickless pussy with balls the size of microscopic raisins,” Naruto calmly explained, his grip tightening as he continued his assessment, “guy like you wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like Hinata. So why don’t you run along and find a girl more your speed?
Bakuto flinched, sucking in a sharp, pained breath, their table rattling as he tried, unsuccessfully, to yank away from the blonde.
“A woman that can appreciate you for the bitch you are at heart,” the blonde suggest calmly, squeezing until he felt the bones in Bakuto’s hand give beneath the strength of his own.
A sharp pop echoed in the suddenly hushed bar, reverberating for mere breathless seconds before eclipsed by an agonized scream.
Music to his fuckin ears.
Customers shifted in their seats, turning away from the table, suddenly hyper-fixated on throwing back their alcoholic beverages.
Fiend shifted in his peripheral.
Moving to stand casually in front of the bar entrance, crossing his arms over his chest and resting his lean bulk against the frame of the exit.
Yanking desperately at the death grip on his hand, Bakuto screamed as another pop filled the room.
He was out of his stool in an instant, knocking his empty beers over, sloshing most of Naruto’s whiskey across the table as he pulled at his rapidly reddening hand.
Making a complete fool of himself in the middle of the bar.
“Relax,” Naruto deadpanned, boredom leaking through his voice as he yanked the crying man halfway across the table, “you’re screaming like somebody’s fuckin’ killing you.”
“Y-you broke,” he wheezed, his sagging body shaking, “my h-hand-”
“Scream again, and I’ll break more than just your hand,” Naruto snarled, a measure of the madness that lived in his soul bleeding into his dulled blue eyes, “I’ll break you into so many little fuckin pieces your body’ll fit in a ziplock bag by the time I’m finished.”
Bakuto’s teary eyes whipped around the room, drooling mouth wide as he screamed, “h-help! S-somebody!”
Naruto let him babble for help, knowing what the result would be having grown up on this side of Konoha.
Having lived in other poor, crime ridden cities just like it.
A tipsy old man turned his head away, slurring a low, “hell no, don’t look at me. Can’t do shit for ya,”
The others fell in line, shaking their heads and ignoring the suffering man, uninterested in getting involved in whatever the fuck was happening. Shit holes like these were like a crowded elevator where everyone’s destination was the fiery pits of Hell; when everybody around you were on a fast track to disaster, nobody could hear you scream.
“You’re startin’ to piss me off,” Naruto told him, jaw flexing, “sit the fuck down.”
Bakuto stood there for several terrified moments, panting harshly, sweat sliding down his pain contorted face, fingers of his free hand digging into the hard topped table.
He swallowed once, then again, face a sickly pallor.
“Throw up and I’ll drown you in it,” Naruto warned.
Shuddering violently, Bakuto gagged, then swallowed again, pressing his trembling lips together like a goddamn upset toddler.
“Pull your fuckin shit together, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up, you’re making a scene. All these nice people came to get drunk and wallow in misery before dragging their carcasses back to their pathetic lives, not listen to a bitch scream and whine,” Naruto informed him conversationally, giving the abused hand a tight squeeze, “have some fuckin respect, shit stick.”
Bakuto wept silently, head dropping to his chest as he sagged onto the table, reaching pitifully for Naruto’s hand wrapped around his.
Naruto pressed down on a swollen knuckle.
Bakuto’s panting breaths blew harsh and quick from his lungs, head snapping up, wet eyes meeting hard sapphire.
“Or do you need me to teach you how to behave in public too?” he asked, increasing the pressure, “you might not have any hands left when I’m done.”
Bakuto shook his head so hard Naruto swore he heard it crack, “n-n-no p-please!-”
“Then mute the fuck up,” Naruto snapped, “ now .”
Trembling violently, Bakuto whimpered into silence, his chest spasming painfully as he gagged behind his tightly compressed lips.
Naruto watched him struggle, watched him suffer .
Feeding off his pain like a starving man at a buffet, equal parts entertained and enraged by the dark-haired man’s misery.
Every shudder, every sob, every tear a fuckin insult.
Weak .
Fucking weakling .
Sniffing around his woman.
Opening his mouth to speak to her…to breathe her air with lust on his fuckin brain .
Defiling her with this fragile, sissy smooth hand .
Being so fuckin bold as to try and snatch Hinata away from Naruto right in front of him .
Bakuto had the fuckin nuts to disrespect him yesterday, only to fold, fold like a fuckin lawn chair when pressed.
Like an elderly man, Bakuto dragged himself back onto his stool, shaking like a leaf.
Naruto lips parted in a feral bearing of teeth, a shallow echo of his earlier ‘friendly’ smile, “there ya go, now, was that so hard?”
“P-Please,” he whispered, tear-filled eyes pleading.
Pathetic.
Naruto dropped his hand, but grabbed his wrist instead, forcing it to the top of the table, right in the puddle of spilled liquor.
“Relax, Bakuto, I’m letting you off easy, ya know? There’s so many people that didn’t get the chance to be where you are right now, breathing like you’re still breathing,” the friendly demeanor leeched from his face, blue eyes vacant of humanity, “be grateful.”
The man swallowed.
Silence flowed between them.
Naruto stared unblinkingly at the trembling, squirming, borderline hyperventilating man across from him.
“You should thank me for being so merciful,” Naruto stated, the tone of his voice making clear he hadn’t made the comment for shits and giggles.
That it wasn’t a throw away line.
Naruto watched him, predatory interest twinkling in his eyes.
Bakuto swallowed hard, his dry lips parting but not a sound slipping through.
Naruto inched his hand back to the distraught man’s swollen, purpling one.
Looking more than a little panicked, Raisin Nuts swallowed again, wetting his lips as he forced out shakily, “t-thank you…f-f-for being s-so merci…merciful.”
Naruto snorted, then broke into deep belly laughter.
Face the shade of a stop sign, Bakuto’s thin shoulders scrunched up to his ears.
Naruto grinned brightly, “fuckin pathetic, I’m done playing with you, get lost Raisin Nuts.”
Cradling his hand, Bakuto began sliding off the stool, looking so fuckin eager to get away from him Naruto felt laughter bubbling up in his throat all over again. Bakuto’s wet, swollen eyes remained locked on the amused blonde, as though fearful to move to fast and trigger the beast all over again.
He was right.
Naruto couldn’t certainly be tempted back into another violent outburst.
He was satiated by Bakuto’s pain, but, there was always room for more.
Bakuto moved slowly, his Adam’s apple bobbing several times, every muscle in his body no doubt screaming at him to run for the exit.
Naruto let him shuffle towards the door, and when he got within reaching distance, when he was oh so close to freedom, Naruto caught hold of his shirt, fisting the material tight against his throat, lifting him to his tip-toes as he cheerfully promised, “I see you again, I’ll break you in half. I see you sniffing around my girl again, you’ll be begging me to break you in half by the time I’m done with you. We understand each other?”
“…y-y-y-yes…” Bakuto gasped, “y-y-you won’t see me again, I-I promise I-”
“I’m being generous again,” Naruto noted, a slow grin parting his lips though his eyes were as dead as a graveyard.
Mouth shaking, face the nasty shade of spoiled milk, Bakuto wheezed out, “t-thank you…t-thank you f-for-”
Naruto tossed him in the direction of the entrance and went back to his drink, chuckling into his glass as a loud shout, the thud of a body and crashing tables followed the forceful dismissal.
Sadistic satisfaction thrummed through his body.
It was an unmitigated fact that the only real fun in life came from fucking other people.
Physically, mentally, emotionally, financially.
Anyway he could fuck someone over he did it.
For Naruto Uzumaki, the words: Get Fucked, took on a whole new meaning.
Wasn’t just a hilarious insult, it was a goddamn way of life.
He chuckled against his glass of whiskey, tracking his beautiful wife-to-be as she wandered up to the doors of Teuchi’s, pausing to watch the weeping mess that was Bakuto running from the bar with a cute worried expression on her face. Naruto finished off his drink in one generous swallow, then waved at the barman for another drink as he settled in to wait a few more minutes.
She was flighty, his pretty little woman.
Last thing he wanted was to show up too early and have her thinking he was following her like some sick stalker fuck.
Of course, he was a sick stalker fuck on paper , but until she actually found out, technically he wasn’t.
Another rule he lived by.
A crime ain’t officially a crime until you got caught.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was asked to make a list of all the street names and aliases for everyone because they kept forgetting who was who, so please refer to this if you forget, because from here on out, I’ll be using their gang affiliated names (except for Naruto and a few others). I left their actual names in up to this point so that people would remember who was who once I stopped using them.
Anyway, here’s the list! I’ll update as needed
Naruto- Nine (current street name), Screws (previous street name), Fox (current alias, Danzo affiliated)
Daru- Blunt
Zabuza- Fiend
Hidan- Priest
Anko- Sweets
Haku- Shadow
Sasori- Geppetto (thanks for the name idea from MrsMessy!!! Your genius strikes again!)
Kakuzu- Greed
Tsunade- Doc
Shino- Brick
Kisame- Shark
Kurotsuchi- Shepherd
Samui- Ice
Kurenai- Thorn
Art- (to be announced )
Paint- ( to be announced )
Also, had a bottom feeder steal my work and put it behind a paywall on patreon, I’ve reported them but if you recognize anyone else’s work on his page, please inform that person and report this person! https://www.patreon.com/WhatIfFanfics/posts
Laters!
~Sessakag
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קгєץ	By : Sessakag Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Naruto/Hinata Views: 9066 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto series just this story.

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