Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Soup's On

By : OfFansAndFlames

From ANON - corgigrape on October 03, 2013
Hi,

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom (or mother/grandmother family figure).

I've really enjoyed your story, usually I don't like fanfiction set in an alternative universe or modern times. In particular liked Chapter 42. I don't know what experiences you have had with mental illness with yourself or friends and family, or experience taking medication. Having had my own few experiences personally and with family members, I felt that your portrayal was sensitive and well thought out, rather than composed of stereotypes most people have of mental illness. I've never been to a psych ward, so I can't speak to that. But I understood Sasuke and Juugo's feelings about medication. Especially the stress of taking a new medication, and not knowing what might happen. Anyway, I will look forward to the next installment, whenever you are ready to return to writing, even if that is a long time from now.
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From ANON - SessyKai on September 21, 2013
Hey!! I'm sure you've already completed this story, but I felt that I should leave a review anyways. I've enjoyed the story thus far and am intrigued by the personalities portrayed by each character - most times being very close to what I would imagine them behaving in this setting. The story seems to be progressing rather well, and I can see the rising action and can predict the potential climax factors.
On the sentence structure, it can get a little confusing when separating the conversations sentences between Sasuke and Naruto in this chapter (chapter 7 P2). My suggestion is that instead of writing as such:

"Sasuke snickered.

'You think?'"

Maybe writing like this:

"Sasuke snickered. 'You think?'"

Now I know this will shorten your chapter length, and although I prefer to read long chapters, it would necessarily be bad to have short chapters. I hope that my review helped in any manner and if the story is complete, then maybe it can help out if you are ever thinking of editing these chapters. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
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From ANON - AlienX on September 20, 2013
I wish I could give you back something for this special pleasure that your story brought to me; you can really make each chapter unlike the others, with some different shade of feeling, and everything in the story shifts, step by step. You write about people who can and do, and overcome somehow, so there must be something like that in you, too, I believe. I have no doubts you'll get through all the grief and trouble and become even stronger.

Concerning this chapter, I'm pleasantly surprised but taken separately from Naruto, Sasuke seems very much *alive*, human, full of deep emotions, though reserved. Naruto may bring it out in him, but it's been here all along. It's nice to read about such side of him. Sasuke can be a good friend, and not *exclusively* to Naruto. A lot of writers limit his emotions and abilities to his relationship with Naruto only; I'm glad this is not the case here.
Juugo is very nice guy: his eccentric family made quite an appearance. I must say I'd miss this character if he had to leave the story.
After this chapter I started to look forward to Sasuke's coming back to school.
I take it, Sasuke's going to visit Itachi more often. So, will Itachi notice anything different about his brother? What will they talk about? Will anything change? So much to think of and imagine; but I'll be waiting patiently, because your story's definitely worth it.
With respect to you and your work, X.
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From ANON - NobodysAingyl on September 18, 2013
I'm so sorry for your loss :( my review is positive anyway, so you're safe.

I love how support Juugo's parents and Sasuke are. Having dealt with mental issues and a couple stints in psych wards myself, I can easily say acceptance and normality is both intensely needed and somewhat hard to come by when you tip out of whack and need intense treatment.

You did a wonderful job with Sasuke AND with realistically describing Juugo's insecurities and fears. Mental illness can be hell for its victims, so I'm ecstatic that Juugo will get the assistance he needs to regain control of his life.
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From ANON - Skye on September 16, 2013
Sorry to hear the news. Love your story and although will be antsy till the next chapter can patiently wait. Will be in prayers, Take care.
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From ANON - AlienX on September 04, 2013
Oh, Sasuke has shown IT... Honestly, I think tha way he spoke, explained it to naruto was a bit overkill - too bookish, esp. considering Naruto is his first male partner. It stroke me as something strange and unnatural for teenagers.
Surely, the school's authorities knew more about Juugo's state of health and - probably - have been hiding it.
As for Kabuto, he might have been pressing and pushing Sasuke and his friends not just because he wanted to, had no one better or out of whim... could it be Orochimaru's direct order? To bind the dealer who's been lately slipping away?
Whatever Kabuto's current state is, I'm sure he won't be as grateful as just to let Sasuke *get away* with all this mess. Just because. Just out of spite. Just to ruin whatever Kabuto can, in Sasuke's life, situation, whatever...
This... distant promise or premonition of a looming disaster, separation, breakup is kinda... getting old. it's impossible to live on the volcano and feel so helpless, and lie to oneself all the time... Or possible, but unnerving.
As usually, I'm very thankful for your installment. It's just as always - so good. Worried for the guys, I'm waitnig for the next!
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From ANON - mysticaldragon11 on September 01, 2013
Oh my god! This is getting so good. I can't wait to see what will happen next! I love that Juugo put Kabuto in his place. He will play hell threatening Sasuke again. :)
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From Dattebayo-chan on August 26, 2013
Wow, that was an intense brawl. Juugo was so calm a few chapters ago and now he suddenly explodes like that. Kabuto had it coming though in a way. I hope Juugo and Sasuke don't end up in too much trouble. I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter now. XD
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From ANON - Kitty on August 14, 2013
...I need more! Now! >.< also you should consider writing books. How you write is actually leagues better than most published writers. I've won a healthy amount of awards for my writing but you have passed me. On another note a nice drawn out sasunaru smut scene would be amazing since its still fanfiction.
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From Katrellepps on August 12, 2013
This is, by far, one of THE BEST stories on AAF! It has Romance, Suspense, Love, and Action! It leaves you on the edge of your seat waiting for the next chapter!! PLEASE CONTINE TO WRITE MORE!!!
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From AlienixX on August 10, 2013
I liked the chapter, it was very intense, so well conected with all the previous ones, fears, worries and feeling of coming separation.
But I feel that although Juugo lashed out and beat Kabuto, the one Kabuto will make pay is Sasuke. Juugo is of no use or importance to Kabuto, so who will pay the highest price for this? I was always afraid that Naruto would be somehow involved into this drugselling story, by his own will and choice or by force, as a means to hurt Sasuke. Hope at least he is safe. I'm not so sure about sasuke. kabuto doesn't need to do anything himself, one phone call - that's it.
Well, keep us woried, intrigued and happy! Thank you.
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From ANON - Akira on August 05, 2013
Its a long way i cant believe this story has so many chapters. Go Juugo Go!! I hope they manage to stay out of Kabuto's but somehoe i think this is going to turn even worst O.O

Thansk for the update.
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From Dattebayo-chan on August 05, 2013
I feel like beating Suigetsu up for being so stupid and not pulling out too. He has his reasons, of course, but it's frustrating. It did look like he had a change of heart towards the end. I was surprised Juugo punched Kabuto in the face like that. Kabuto deserved it, no doubt, I just hope Juugo won't get into too much trouble. He's a good person and deserves better.
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From ANON - kit on August 05, 2013
yeah!! a bunch to kabuto's face from juugo!! glorious!!
It's unfortunate that he is gonna to have to face repercussions for his action though. hopefully they wont be too harsh on him
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From Dattebayo-chan on July 23, 2013
Lovely chapter. Sasuke did well when he talked to Karin and Juugo. I really enjoyed seeing a new side of him. It was also heart-warming that Naruto was there for Sasuke, supporting him trough it all. Thank you for the update!
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