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Reviews for Kuroyashi

By : MindGames5150
  • From MemphisAtari on July 02, 2007
    i don't like the use of OCs because they eventually turn into mary sues and explanations of those OCs usually sound farfetched... why would an Uchiha AND a Hyuuga be so negligent to the existence of the girls? It doesn't work because the two are prestigious families and would make sure the secrets of their bloodline will not be revealed. Its already OOC cuz you have that girl a sharingan master and despite it being a natural ability, I doubt she'd be a pro at it without guidance as all great weapons usually happen. But whatever.. I'll give you a chance but next time try not to give it away so much cuz you lose interest with readers.
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  • From ANON - angel of darkness on June 26, 2005
    more!!! this story ids awesome ^_^ cant wait for him to be an assasin and plz say u shall get rid of his ugly huge oarnge articles of clothing -gags- i swear its to bright!! lol

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  • From ANON - shuchan on June 26, 2005
    continue. PLEASE!!!!!
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  • From ANON - Gizmo on April 06, 2005
    Wow, that sounds kind of cool...I've never reviewed before so be honored.....I just thought that your ideas were good and the story was funny and well written out...but...It's kind of hard to know the characters...I mean the OC's...maybe you could be more descriptive So I could get a better idea,Its just a thought so yeah, It was funny when Naruto pushed over Iruka! LOL...so not bad I'll check this story out again, if you update...

    Peace out...
    -Gizmo

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  • From ANON - Kori Nibiki on April 02, 2005
    Hmm.... interesting beginning. Looking forward to the next chapter. Ja!
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  • From ANON - minjin00 on April 01, 2005
    kind of confuse as to how old the girls are and where it's taking place. thought naruto was already in konoha.
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  • From ANON - Van on March 31, 2005
    Please keep going man it's getting good now!!!!
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  • From ANON - fery on March 31, 2005
    hey, eto.... first of all I think you've got quiet some talent to write. The story reads quiet fluently. However, why do you have to have so many original characters? I usually love to read SasuNaru fics, but one thing that makes me turn of every story are original characters! Most readers feel like this. Naruto has many wonderful (and also annoying) characters, so actually there is one type of character for everyone, so I really don't understand anyone who adds more. Especially so, if they are some long-lost relative of any of the other characters who naturally have quiet some power. Makes them sound like Mary Sues from the beginning away. Also note that if someone reads a Naruto story (especially SasuNaru) then I don't want to read much about other characters much less OCs. Anyway, I wrote this review cause I think you have quiet some potential, but try to leave out the OCs (Mary Sue's) please.
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  • From ANON - Irukasgirl on March 31, 2005
    What I think? Hm... interesting.
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  • From ANON - Demon on March 29, 2005
    and don't listen to huh 'cause they suck i want to see the story
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  • From ANON - Demon on March 29, 2005
    i'll give your oc's a chance and i can't wait to see the story
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  • From ANON - kitsune on March 28, 2005
    Too many OCs... The summary is fine, and I think that you should go for it, but have the OCs play only a minor part in the story. No offense, but if it becomes OC-centric, I won't read it, no matter how good the OC is. I hope that you won't take this as a flame, it's not that I dislike OCs, it's just that I don't like to read stories that revolve around an original character and not the canon Naruto characters. Anyway, I'll still check it out when if you publish it, because I can't judge the fic when I haven't even seen it, so ganbatte kudasai!
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  • From ANON - yaya on March 25, 2005
    I agree with Bad Luck in that I don't read Naruto Fanfiction to read about Joe bob or any other original character. I want to read about the Naruto characters. And actually post a chapter instead of just a summary. I am tired of people posting stupid crap on this when it is supposed to be used to post stories. OC's are okay, but only in a very minor capacity. You seem to be planning to have them play a big part of your story.
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  • From ANON - angelicyokai on March 25, 2005
    Begging for reviews it taken slightly better if you actually write and post a chapter first. Ganbatte.
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  • From ANON - Anna-dono on March 25, 2005
    Oi! Did you just acknowledged me as ur lord!?!?!?!?I WIN! Victory is finnally mine! Why in the world did you ask ppl to tell you if you should continue? Its not like them saying anything would have stoped you...crazy bastard. Well I'll get around to typing your story for you eventually.And I'll have it back to you monday?...Ya monday sounds about right. And you know if i procrastinate remember you picked me to beta for you and thts ur own fault....Anyway!!!!My foots asleep, what that has to do with you I'll never know but WOULD YOU STOP BUGGING ME!!!!!Im tring to write! Damn.Well as a spitefull act of vengance this is a all your gonna get from me. lol. Actully i just cant think of more to say than this and....
    Uchiha-teme!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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