Drowning

BY : aikoasahi
Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Iruka
Dragon prints: 159
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

"And what bring Konoha's beloved Iruka Sensei to my humbled office?" Kakashi asked with a bright smile after putting down his orange book (which was a rare thing for him to do while talking to people) in order to see Iruka.

Iruka snorted a little at the mocking(he thought so) tone from the jonin-turned-Hokage who was leaning on his chair with his eyes staring sharply against Iruka's, only a table separating them. But he quickly coughed as he realized that person was now on way higher authority than him.

"Kakashi-sama, may–"

Kakashi sighed and waved his hand, "No, please don't use -sama on me, Iruka. Only -san is already fine."

Iruka forced a smile, "Kakashi-san. I'm here because..." he bit his lower lip, thinking about the proper word to come out instead of bursting with temper, but nothing of decent he could think of.

Well, he just came to the Hokage tower in a rush after Tsubaki came to him at the academy, her face covered with stained tears to deliver the shocking news regarding her Mizuki.

Iruka looked down on the floor helplessly.

"Is it about Mizuki's execution?" Kakashi asked in a murmur, his eyes plastered back on his orange book.

Iruka swallowed heavily before nodding.

"I'm obligated to ask for what reason does Mizuki has to face death penalty when he didn't kill anyone–"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Iruka Sensei," Kakashi interrupted without drifting his eyes off the book, "I think I need to remind you of past incidents regarding this Mizuki... I'm sure you can recall that he tried to kill you and Naruto. Before that, he allegedly killed his teammate during a mission. Besides, when he escaped from the facility, he again tried to kill you and Naruto without second thoughts. And do I even have to remind you that when he was being treated from that freaking potion at the time, he still mumbled threats for you and Naruto."

"But that still doesn't justify why he has to be beheaded!" Iruka pressed his lips together as he realized that he just raised his voice on the Hokage. He could faintly sense the Anbu guard on the roof getting ready to attack if they need to.

Iruka sighed inwardly as he thought that he might be executed as well for treason. Just great, Iruka.

Meanwhile, his outburst finally got Kakashi to focus his entire attention back to Iruka.

"I ordered the execution for every inmates that has no remorse or regret for what crime he or she did. In other word, they are basically hopeless cases. It's not only your Mizuki," Kakashi gave a sharp glare at him before turning the chair around, "I am the Hokage now. Each of my word is an order."

Iruka suddenly let out a bitter laugh, his face filled with resentment at Kakashi even as there was sound of laughter.

"Right, you are the Hokage now. How could I even forget. That's why, you can use that power to pardon Sasuke who has killed numerous others, since he is your former student, right? And instead, execute other inmates like Mizuki who have no relation with you–"

Turning around abruptly, Kakashi almost yelled at the other, his eyes filled with hurts, however he managed to calm down and merely said with a warning tone, "I believe you have gone overboard now, Sensei..."

At that time, Shizune opened the door while carrying a tray of tea and cups that she prepared for the two, but almost halted the steps as she sensed the killing intents radiated from the two.

Nervously, she asked, "Err, is everything okay?"

Iruka coughed awkwardly and bowed with a soft smile directed to Shizune who immediately smiled back at him and Kakashi noted the exchange with a solemn glare.

"It's fine, Shizune," Kakashi said and Shizune let out a sigh of relief.

She proceeded to put down the tray on the table and poured on each cup.

"Shall we have some tea first, Sensei?" Kakashi looked at Iruka in anticipation, despite how hurt he was at Iruka's bold accusation toward him before.

Iruka looked away, feeling embarassed with his outburst yet again in front of that person and he only then realized that his words must have hurt him, since Kakashi seemed to almost lose his cool just now.

Iruka looked at him and Kakashi raised his eyebrow as if to remind Iruka that his word is the law, "Have a sit, Sensei."

Reluctantly, Iruka took the seat in front of Kakashi, with Shizune by his side, smiling at the two fondly.

As Kakashi sipped on the tea, Iruka decided to break the tension in the air, "I apologize for my indecent words before, Kakashi-sama..." Iruka looked up, his eyes full of determination, "But my stand is still the same."

"Then, tell me, Sensei. In what way do you think he still wouldn't try to kill you once he get out of the facility?"

Hearing that, Shizune finally realized that the two were talking about Mizuki. She lightly sighed, she should have known that Iruka would be here once the execution news came out. From what she heard, Iruka really loved the so-called prisoner. But, as a friend or lover, she wasn't sure.

I ruka looked away, "I know there is still a piece of him that is kind. He is originally very kind... I always pray that he still is..."

Kakashi snorted with disdain seeing the desperation tainting on Iruka's beautiful face.

"Kakashi-sama, if you give me a chance, I will go and talk with him once more. I believe he will change–"

"What makes you think he will when all the other times you went to see him before, you couldn't?" Kakashi stared as Iruka's determined expression slowly turning into helplessness, "As far as I know, the only thing he has for you is HATRED. He doesn't even love you, Iruka. Or did you already forget when he said he only used you since the beginning? He is a fucking manipulator! He only stayed by your side because you were close with Sandaime, didn't you remember?! I really don't understand you, Iruka. He has been nothing but a foe to you, why would you still being loyal to him? I..." Kakashi swallowed hard as realization of everything that he had just said struck him.

Totally surprised, Shizune couldn't help glancing at Kakashi's fuming face even if the mask was still covering half his face. It was very rare to see him losing his calm  and bursting out like this.

Meanwhile, Iruka was utterly speechless as he stood dumbfounded on the floor.

"You...have no right... To question my loyalty or whatsoever," Iruka said in a whisper.

"Of course I do. Your loyalty only lies toward me, your Hokage," Kakashi still didn't know what possessed him by the time.

What he knew, he was so hurt with Iruka.

Iruka eventually looked up and gritted his teeth as he forced himself to mutter apology.

"I apologize, Hokage-sama," Iruka bowed and left the room.

Shizune finally let out the breath she had been witholding since before.

"Kakashi-sama, I... Really think you might hurt Iruka Sensei," she said softly, and a bit afraid.

"And you think he didn't hurt me?"

With that question, Shizune looked down, unable to face him.

"I'm sorry, I just thought you might be a bit harsh with the words you said..."

"He questioned my authority. He even compared Sasuke to that worthless piece of..." Kakashi sighed heavily again and leaned back to the chair, "Shit, he really... Might just say that he actually despises Sasuke for killing Itachi..."

And Shizune has no say to that.

 

Kakashi frowns the more he remembered about previous argument he had with the chunin sensei. With a light sigh, he looks up to see the object of the argument standing in front of him with two guards by his side, his hands handcuffed with chakra wires.

His head drooping low.

Kakashi snorts. Just a few days ago when he decided to pay a visit to him, this particular prisoner still held his head high, even facing the very Hokage in front of him.

Kakashi will never forget how conceited this guy is, how selfish– damn, he is very shameless. Which the very reason Kakashi is determined to get him killed.

He really thought this Mizuki guy is hopeless. The way he acted, there is no doubt he will never change.

But, Iruka just never give up on him.

He really can't understand Iruka, at all.

Speaking of that name, he turns toward the other room in which Iruka is seen trying to escape from the other chunins who tried to stop him from barging into the execution room.

"Hokage-sama, please, I beg you! Please pardon Mizuki, he will change, I promise you! Hokage-sama, please!"

Kakashi bit his lower lip in agony at seeing the tears flowing down the chunin's cheeks as he struggled against the other chunins, his pleading eyes never leaving Kakashi's.

Unable to stand it anymore, Kakashi whispers his guard's name lowly, "Tenzou."

Tenzou suddenly appears beside Kakashi, "Hokage-sama."

Looking away from Iruka across the glass wall, he orders, "Get that pathetic prick out of my sight."

Tenzou widens his eyes in utter surprise at the unexpected order while Iruka stops, his eyes blank as he still stares at Kakashi. 

There is only silence following. A deafening one.

Even Mizuki looks at Kakashi with such questioning gaze for a brief second before turning to Iruka. He presses his cracked lips together, in agony.

"Now, Tenzou."

The said man quickly nods before disappearing in a swirl of leaves and appears again beside Iruka.

The chunin notices the look of hatred, not in Mizuki, but instead in Kakashi now. And he feels so lost, more than ever.

He already expected Kakashi to chase him away from the room, but he never thought to even hear that kind of words coming out from Kakashi's mouth directed toward him.

"Iruka Sensei," Tenzou cautiously holds Iruka's trembling arm, "I don't want to have to hurt you. So, please, let's leave this place. Okay?"

Iruka bits his lower lip in anguish as he looks at Tenzou. "Fine."

With that, he turns around to leave with Tenzou, but as he gets to the door, he shifts back his attention toward the glass wall separating him from Mizuki and Kakashi.

His eyes catch Mizuki's lone stare toward him before the prisoner mouths at him.

"I'm sorry."

Iruka feels a tear drop again from his left eye and another falls from his right eyes when he reads Mizuki's mouth again.

"I love you, Iruka."

And Mizuki gifts him with a very sincere smile, the kindest smile Mizuki ever gave him. And that is the last image Iruka saw of him, before he left the room.

Kakashi sighs reluctantly. Though he didn't look at Iruka, he can feel those exchanges. And it freaking hurts him. Yet again.

Just why... Why couldn't it be me? Why was it never be me?

Kakashi drifts his attention back toward Mizuki as the latter breathes out his first word that day and probably the last word before the execution, "That naive idiot."

And he laughs. But strangely enough, Kakashi can feel his misery.

 

 

The execution for all inmates that Kakashi deemed unforgivable had completed. Thhe Hokage heaves a sigh of relief for one job done.

As he leans comfortably against his chair in the office, his mind suddenly drifts toward Iruka. As usual.

What could he be doing now? Crying his heart out?

Kakashi snickers. That crybaby chunin.

He chuckles as he remembers all the times he secretly caught the younger crying on the bench under the tree of the branch he always resting himself on. 

Hmmm... Maybe I should go check on that little chunin...

And with that thought, he disappears from the office. 

 

He pops out beside the bench and almost smiles to see Iruka sitting on the bench, as he expected.

Damn it, I'm so immature. How can I smile like an idiot when I just called him pathetic–

"Hokage-sama..."

Kakashi gives all his attention toward the younger who is looking down on the ground, his expression totally blank.

Kakashi is dumbfounded. He has never seen expressionless Iruka like this. No, his Iruka is always full of emotion. He is either smiling that warm and bright smile, crying beautifully or his face red from anger or shyness... No...

"I have been thinking," Iruka starts again, "Our relationship... We always say mean things to one another, and then apologize, making up... But then, we would argue again. Again, we only spit out harsh words we never mean to each other. It's always like that... This relationship between us, it's like a never ending cycle."

"Iruka..." Kakashi doesn't like this version of Iruka...

"In all honesty, I always hope that our relationship will become better than that. But each time, the only feeling I get from you is disappointment, for your action, and your words. It's like... This relationship of ours... We are both... Basically... Are hopeless cases... Isn't it?"

"Iruka..." Kakashi hates this...

The younger gets up from the bench and continues, "I actually hoped you, out of other people, could understand me. But of course, it is just a failed wish. No one understand me. I really.. Have no one left... The only person left who understand me also died. My parents, Shisui, Sandaime, Itachi, and now, even Mizuki..."

"Iruka..." Kakashi despises this kind of feeling he is having now... "You still have Naruto..." and me...

"Naruto will soon have his own family. I wouldn't want to be such a bother old man to him." Iruka smiles a little at the fond memories he had with Naruto and murmurs so soft Kakashi barely hears it, "I used to dream of me and you...together, but... It seems very...impossible now..."

He exhales and takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Kakashi-sama," Iruka finally lifts his eyes to look into Kakashi's teary ones, "But I can't do this anymore. I guess I'm just as hopeless as those people you executed to death..."

"Iruka..."No... Please don't... 

"You should execute me as well, Hokage-sama..."

Kakashi shakes his head in agony, "No, Iruka, you can't do this..."

"If you can't, I shall end myself on my own, then..."

And with that saying, Iruka leaves in a swirl of leaves.

Kakashi's eyes widen in horror.

"NO!!"

Sensing the distress chakra from their Hokage, the Anbus including Tenzou appears around him.

As his knees wobbles unstably, Kakashi finally crashes onto the ground. Tenzou immediately goes to support his body and asks, "Kakashi-sama, are you okay?"

"Iruka..." He keeps saying that name like a mantra, with tears drips uncontrollably, his body limp against Tenzou.

The latter sighs endlessly as he tries to offer some comforts for the older. Even just a little.

"Please, go find him... I don't want him to die... Please..."

The other Anbus each vanish after receiving a nod from Tenzou.

"I need to find him too," Kakashi finally gathers his strength back and disappears right away.

Tenzou sighs again for the nth time.

 

Kakashi is going crazy. Iruka is nowhere to be found. He really doesn't want to see yet another precious person to him to die.

Kakashi and Tenzou jump from tree to tree, still not giving up to find the chunin. However, Tenzou suddenly freezes and he stops as something comes up in his mind. Kakashi also stops, puzzled by the other's action.

"Kakashi-sama... He can't be... Could he.."

"Fucking tell me what is it that you think!" Kakashi asks impatiently.

"Iruka's first love is Shisui, right? Uchiha Shisui."

"Yes. But why?"

"You realize that Shisui-san died from suicide by jumping into water, right? He basically died from drowning."

Kakashi almost stops breathing as he thinks about the possibility– He shakes his head in denial, "No... That can't be..."

"Let's try to go to that place, where Shisui jumped to death."

 

And why, Tenzou is right.

There, the distraught chunin standing right on the edge of the cliff.

Kakashi sprints in a flash to catch Iruka, but the younger is already letting himself fall from the cliff.

"No!" Kakashi stops right on the edge where Iruka just stood a second ago.

His hand still extended toward now empty spaces as he watches Iruka who finally flashed that addictive smile that he always adore, right from the beginning.

All images of his father, Obito and Rin from their dying moments flash in his mind, and now those flashes overlap with this image of Iruka.

It is like getting caught in Itachi's tsukuyomi all over again.

I could always save him in previous encounters... I could always arrive at the right time to save him before... Why now... Why now it's not working out? Why? And he really died because of my own action? He wanted to kill himself because of me? Why? I only wanted him to be with me, I only wanted him to be safe, I only wanted him to be surrounded with good people... Why is it so hard for me to love? Why is it always like this? Why? Should I die too...?

 

Without thinking twice, Tenzou launches his Mokuton jutsu with all his might to save Iruka, by extracting the wood jutsu to catch Iruka from reaching the water as fast as he could.

Tenzou briefly glances at the heartbroken Hokage and is very determined to save the source of his senpai's grief. And thankfully, he can feel the wood jutsu barely able to catch Iruka from drowning in the waterfall's fast current.

"Kakashi-sama, I got him."

 

At the hospital.

"He should be awake in a few hours," Tsunade mutters lowly before gesturing Kakashi to follow her.

Getting inside Tsunade's private room, she finally lets out her temper.

"I knew it! I knew something like this would happen once you ordered Mizuki be killed," she glares daggers at him, "Well, not exactly to this extent, but I know he will protest against you," and she turns regretful as she noticed Kakashi's solemn eyes on the floor.

"Well, I... I'm sorry, Kakashi," she apologizes sincerely, "I know this must be hard for you too."

"I only want him to be safe. With Mizuki's jail time nearing the end, I felt so restless, like what if Mizuki tried to kill him again like before, or if he... He decided to give Mizuki... Chance...again... I can't even imagine it..." 

Tsunade places her hand on Kakashi's drooping head and pats him softly, like how a mother would to comfort her son.

"You did well, Kakashi."

Tsunade vividly remembers when Kakashi emerged like a lightning into the hospital in front of her with Iruka, weak in his arms. The other was practically lifeless.

And the newly appointed Hokage whispered in extreme desperation that she could have ever seen in him.

"Please, Tsunade-sama... Save him..."

Tsunade never thought Kakashi's infatuation with the chunin sensei would be this deep. She knows about his feeling for Iruka but she never would have dreamt of it to be this intense.

That could be dangerous. 

 


 

"It has been two weeks, for fuck's sake!" Kakashi holds both Iruka's hands while Naruto shouting at Tsunade who is leaning against the door to the hospital room, "Why's Iruka Sensei still unconscious?! Why isn't he awake yet?!"

"I'm doing my best as I can, you ungrateful punk!"

"Then, why is he still like this?" Naruto frowns and turns toward Kakashi who is still in his own world while admiring the way Iruka's hands fit perfectly with his.

"Hm, it's very strange, Naruto. I really don't know how to explain this. To be honest, I'm stucked, kiddo."

"And you are supposed to be the master healing–" and Tsunade smacks his head jokingly before shifting his attention to Iruka who is "sleeping" soundlessly on the bed with his hands in Kakashi's grasps, as if the latter not wanting to let him go anymore.

"Kakashi," she softly calls his name as she stood beside him by the bed, "He's not going anywhere."

Kakashi smiles sadly, "I know... I just... I have always loved to hold his hand... His are so soft and smooth. So adorable."

Tsunade smiles in awe mixed with sorrowful. Lovesick. Never have I thought to be seeing White Fang's brat like this.

"Can you please let go of Iruka Sensei's hands? I want to hold him too," Naruto pouts at the side.

Kakashi caresses Iruka's hands for one last time and finally lets him go.

Naruto quickly grabs Iruka's hands and massages them lightly.

Kakashi smiles at that and turns to Tsunade. "So.?"

"Hm, it's hard to say in words. But frankly, it seems Iruka is resisting himself from waking up."

Naruto stares at Tsunade in confusion, "What do you mean, Granny Tsunade?"

She glances at the Rokudaime with a reluctant look, "He doesn't want to wake up."



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