I was a little surprised the punishment wasn't  the chasity belt from the first fic or at least some variation. It also seemed like narutos punishment for hinata was just an excuse for you to make hinata even more broken (by that I mean it seemed a little forced). Don't get me wrong though great chapter. You are 10x the writer I am, just trying for some constructive criticism.

So wait, The Sauce has the most powerfull eye(s) that can pretty much trick or brainwash anyone in the entire Narutoverse without fail, but he gets "blackmailed"? Everyone is so bizzarely OOC that it makes Evil Fuzzy's "A Lewd New World" look like canon?

Look, I get it, this is a pornfic (for free, I might add), which is used to explore new ideas while still drawing inspiration from canon. Plus, you write decent lemons and you update regularly, which already puts you ahead of 90% of the community, but dear lord, your stories are formulaic as hell, even the ones not featuring Sasuke as the main character. On top of that, If there's anything that's more cringe-worthy than NINO (Naruto-In-Name-Only) stories where Naruto greases everyone's mother and their dog, its Sasuke with the wanker-knob cranked up to 11.

Its even more bizzare, as in many of your fics, your Sasuke runs a weird gamut of OOC. This ranges from being extremely charismatic, using Kage-Bushin like a E-rank jutsu,  being openly emotional, having jinchuuriki/Kisame level stamina, being a great conversationalist, and inspiring devotion and friendship. Sound familliar? You've done, perhaps inadvertently, what other authors (aptly named "Narutards") do when they give Naruto the Sharingan, a black outfit, a sword, and terrible bedside manner. These "new" characters are pretty jarring and make it awkward to read even fairly short fics.

Look, at the end of the day, its your idea, your fic. But like anyone who puts up any peice of writing, art or music in a public forum, it will be subject to opinions and critique. And if authors try to handwave critique by saying "It's just a pornfic, its not that serious!" or "lol, u mad, bro??", then I begin to suspect their efforts may be thinly disguised bash-fics.

For a man who can easily conquer the world with his penis...Sasuke is such a push-over. Women just bat their eyes and Sasuke relents. He needs to learn to say no...

This story sucks 

Pretty solid story so far. I'm likin the slower build up to the story. It makes it unique from a lot of the other stories that are done with this type of format. Great job my dude. Still holdin out hope that you'll someday do a Sasuke X Multiverse harem fic lol.

Why would Sasuke and Hinata cheat on their spouses? This is just ridiculous. I hope Naruto and Sakura find out and Sakura beats the crap out of them (especially Hinata, she's the worst in this story).

Honestly, seems far more realistic than the last one did. I assume it's gonna follow the same plot though and end up with Naruto being...happy?...To see his daughter fucked by his friend? I mean, I know this is a porn site and all but when you're exploring a fetish like this you do kinda have to take a step back and think about how it would realistically affect them. Would upgrade the fic from pointless forgetable porn to half-decent erotica. Like, can Naruto afford to have his fetish take over his life? Is Naruto the kind of character who values sexual pleasure over everything else he's accomplished? In the other story you had him turn into such a cum-slut that he gives up being Hokage....That's bashing territory, and any bashing kind of instantly ruins a story. I personally think you gotta keep it a little realistic. Ok, Naruto likes watching Sasuke fuck Hinata, maybe he even likes to be fucked in his female form, but his best friend impregnating his daughter and turning her into a slut? Giving up everything he's ever worked towards (at one point, DYING for it) because Sasuke's a good fuck? Hell I think at that point Sasuke would throw him to the Yamanaka's or into Tsukuyomi for a psych eval. Also with the size thing...why can't Naruto be, y'know, average? maybe even slightly above average. Sasuke's cock seems to be what, 13 inches anyway? At that point does Naruto really have to be absolutely hopeless at sex? Might be negative memories from that other NTR Naruto fic on this site, but it seems a bit much.

It seems you are trying to make Sasuke respect his friendship with Naruto.  If going to continue down that line and have Sasuke act truly like Naruto's best friend might want to consider instead of turning Hinata in a cum-dump for the Uchiha, have him repay Naruto for all the time that his friend never gave up on him.  Like the last chapter, Sasuke uses the Sharingan to erase all memories and return things back to normal and such.  Even erase Naruto's fetish.  A final way to even the score between them instead of having Sasuke end up taking everything.  

Either way, your writing is good and this version of the story is more realistic than the last one.  I am enjoying it.

A truly disgusting story. If you're so fond of that black haired emo, just write Harem stories, idiot. 

Pretty nice but soft... Hope we get to see real fucking soon ;3

Yeah, this is turning into a SasuHina/SasuHyuuga fic. There have been too much of those lately. No thanks.

Good, Hinata finally apologized for her bitchy move there. I'm still a little peeved she did that, even though I get somewhat what she was trying to do. 

Apart from that, the way you described going inside the womb was fantastic. I wasn't able to figure out how to get that into words, but this helps a lot. And it seems like Naruto is also realizing his own inadequency and Hinata is finally succumbing to her urges.

Himawari is a slutty devil. Looks like she actually iherited her mother's inner slutty self. They do say the quiet ones hold the most slutty side to them. Now Sasuke has to consider the possibility that his "niece" badly wants to ride Sasuke's huge cock and get knocked up by it. Well, she will have to get in line.

So no where in narutos mind he is thinking about how small he is compared to sasuke at all and how he should be ashamed on his size?????? I mean afew times is alright but it seems like this is happening quite constantly, I think its about time hinata had a break from sasuke and that could ultimately start the distance between husband and wife with naruto starting to see the consequence he has put on hisself,also ice been meaning to ask why isn't naruto skilled in bed?? He was trained by TWO pervs he seems to be focused more on his fetish then anything else, and could sakura actually be in the next chapter with naruto, I mean sure sasuke would of told sakura about narutos size but maybe she could do something else like a prostate massarge for example as naruto watch's sasuke go at it with hinata.

i hope hinata and Himawari get pregnant at the same time so they can tell naruto together

While I understand why you wanted to re-write the story, I don't think I like the adjustments you made. Too bad