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The Thing and The Angel	By : EntityLvr Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1953 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. And I make no money from this.

Chapter List
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Warning: Abuse, sex, self-harm, ptsd, amnesia
The Thing and The Angel
He was a toy. Nothing but an object for his owner to pull out once in a while. He didn't have a Master. No. Only pets had masters. He wasn't a pet. He was a thing. Until he met his Angel. Now he must rediscover who he is, and learn to accept his scars.

“I don’t keep sluts.”
It had been two years since his memory began and now he didn’t even know what pleasure was. He hadn’t felt anything but physical pain and emotional relief when he was used. And that was the term for it. He was a toy. Nothing but an object for his owner to pull out once in a while. He didn’t have a Master. No. Only pets had masters. He wasn’t a pet. He was a thing. But he didn’t care now. Because at this stage, after this much time...that’s all he knew what to do.
He knew to stay out of sight unless called upon. And then he was to immediately go to his owner, led by a pet, and do what he was told. He didn’t get punishments and rewards because you don’t do that to an object. He either was used fully or tossed aside in the middle. That was the only hint of whether he did whatever it was correctly or not. He secretly felt a tiny bit happy when he knew he had fulfilled his purpose for that moment. And then he pushed that away and went back to his small dark room.
He wasn’t loved. He wasn’t actually needed. He was just there. But he hadn’t been used in two weeks. He was starting to worry. After all. If you don’t use something you eventually...throw it away. His hands clenched into fists. Had he not been a good toy? He wasn’t broken. He was still at a good age. He always did what he was told. Always. He was told not to leave this room so he hadn’t. Food was brought to him and he ate it. A bucket of water and a washcloth was brought to him and he washed himself. This was everyday stuff.
Did his owner find a new toy? A better one? He bit his lip and hesitantly flexed his inner muscles. Was he becoming too loose? Was he no longer tight enough to satisfy his owner? He licked his lips and swallowed. Were his skills with his mouth too boring? His hands trembled as he looked at them. Was he not satisfying anymore? He slowly stood from his cot and went to the mirror against one of the bare walls. He stared at his naked self. He saw the same thing he saw two years ago. Except for his face. His eyes...they were dead. He slowly fell to his knees. Who would want to look at those eyes? He...he actually was broken. He stared at his hands again as tears slowly fell. Now it was just a wonder of when he would be thrown away. Or worse...would they simply forget about him?
His mind wandered as he sat alone in the darkness.
When he first came to this place he tried to please what he believed to be his Master. But when he showed he had gained pleasure from what they did he was hurt or tossed aside. So he learned not to make noise and to hide it. But Master always knew and he didn’t like it. He then realized that he was never called ‘pet’. He wasn’t actually called anything. He finally asked his Master the question that finalized his fears.
“Master? Why am I different from the others?”
He still remembered every word said to him.
“I am not your Master. I am your owner. You are a thing. You’ve been a thing ever since I realized you were nothing but a filthy slut. I don’t keep sluts.”
And that was the end of it.
Ever since then he had tried to prove that he wasn’t a slut. And as such he didn’t get aroused, or even remember what it was like. He didn’t smile, he didn’t speak. He only knew what an orgasm was from what his owner did. He always thoroughly cleaned himself and whatever got messy. But it didn’t matter.
He saw the collars around the necks of the pets and craved the right to wear one. He had even, for a time, practiced in secret what he believed a pet should do. But he didn’t do that anymore. He saw no need. He was a thing and would remain a thing until he died. But up until then he had been a productive thing. Now...now he was useless.
He heard his door open and looked up only to lower his gaze when he saw his owner.
This was new. It was always a pet. Fear and sadness filled him. He knew from the silence...from the feeling of being stared at. He was being thrown away. He tried to feel pride at the fact that his owner was doing it personally, but he just couldn’t gather the energy. He stood and when his owner moved to the side he walked out. He was led to the living room where clothes that looked strangely familiar were laying. He swallowed and held back shaming tears. He put them on and when the front door was opened he walked out.
The door closed and the tears fell. What was he to do now? He had nowhere to go...no skills...no one to turn to, not even a memory...nothing. So he started walking. Maybe there was a shelter he could stay at while he tried to think. But he hadn’t had to actually think about what to do for so long. How was he to get food? He had no money. How was he to live? He didn’t even know if he could talk anymore.
-O-
How had he survived two weeks? He sat on the ground, a tin can next to him. Some nice people would put change in the can sometimes, others would spit on him or other cruel things. He was skin and bones, barely having any energy. He blinked when a shadow fell over him. He slowly looked up, expecting something bad to happen. But instead he met the gaze of the bluest eyes he had ever seen. The voice that reached his ears sounded like an angel. That halo of messy blond hair and then that smile...it was like heaven. He blinked and tried to actually listen to what the person was saying.
“Sasuke? Holy shit is that you?! What happened to you?”
Sasuke? Who was Sasuke? He frowned, confused. This man seemed to know him...but how?
“Damn! They gave up hope on finding you!” The angel looked him over. “You need some help. Like right away.”
He felt the angel lift him up in his arms and simply leaned into the warmth. Internally, he was scared of being dropped and told he was a slut for that small bit of action. But he just didn’t care anymore. His eyes closed and he fell asleep.

When his eyes opened, the bright light that assaulted him caused them to close again. He heard a strange beeping noise. He shifted and realized he was on a bed. He shifted again and realized that something was in his arm. He slowly opened his eyes again and looked around the room. White...where was he? He moved his head and saw the angel from before sleeping in a chair next to him. He looked at the machine he was hooked to, hearing the beeping coming from it. He looked back at his angel and just watched him. He felt peace just from the man’s presence.
Those beautiful blue eyes opened after some time and looked at him. Then that smile appeared again. He could tell worry was in the eyes now, though he didn’t know why.
“Hey man. You’ve been asleep for a long time. But I guess you needed it huh? You...you okay?”
He just watched him. Okay? What was okay? He gave a nod because that seemed like the thing to do.
The angel frowned and a spike of painful fear went through him at the look.
Did he answer wrong?! Oh shit! No! He didn’t want the angel to throw him away too! He wasn’t too broken, was he? He could still get into heaven, right?! That had to be why the angel was there. A small tear left his eye. He didn’t want to be left alone again.
As if the angel read his mind a small smile appeared. A gentle tanned hand wiped the tear away and the man sat next to him. “I won’t leave you Sasuke. Calm down. I’ll never leave you. I promise.”
So, his name was Sasuke? ...but that meant that he was a person... He’d think about that later. He raised a shaking hand and hesitantly touched his angel’s face. The slightly scarred cheeks were smooth and warm. He waited to be pushed away and called a slut...but it didn’t happen.
“Damn. You don’t even know who I am do you?”
He...Sasuke...shook his head. He kept his hand there and felt a very small warmth when the angel placed a tanned hand over his pale one.
“I’m Naruto. I’m your Naruto. And I’ll be here for you. Forever. Believe it.”
-O-
Sasuke watched as his angel signed the papers to release him. He was sitting on the bed, unable to take his eyes off the beauty. He still hadn't spoken or remembered anything of before he was with his owner. When Naruto walked over he took his hand and walked out with him.
During his stay there, people had come and given flowers and asked questions and pretty much scared the crap out of him. But throughout it all, Naruto had held his hand and never left him. He made sure people didn't freak him out too much and even threatened someone if they didn't leave.
For the first time in what seemed like forever, Sasuke felt safe. When they got to Naruto's apartment he looked around and frowned. Way too much orange.
Naruto laughed, drawing his attention. "Well at least that hasn't changed about you. You never did like my choice in color."
Sasuke relaxed a little, liking that some part of him was what this angel declared he was. He followed him around, not really listening to his talking. He stopped though when he saw a picture of Naruto and a beautiful raven. It took a few minutes for him to realize. That raven...was him. His eyes widened and he held the picture, looking at it. Naruto was laughing and he, Sasuke, was smiling. Or possibly smirking, hard to tell. They were in what looked like college robes and holding diplomas.
He looked up to see Naruto watching him with a sad expression. The blond smiled softly. " That was taken exactly one month before you disappeared...I never gave up on trying to find you Sasuke. I knew that you were out there somewhere. And I was right." He walked over and gave Sasuke a soft, and slightly hesitant hug.
Sasuke wasn't sure how to react but after a few seconds he just melted into the hug. It was so warm and, dare he say, loving. He didn't realize that he was crying until he heard the soothing sounds of his angel. He burrowed as close as possible into that sunshine that seemed to radiate off the blond. He felt wanted. And it had been a long time since he had felt that way.
Naruto just rubbed his back, whispering calming things to him as he smiled into that soft yet spiky hair. He had his Sasuke back. And he was going to be there every step of the way through the raven's recovery.
Naruto pulled back and smiled brightly at him. "So. Hungry? I may not be able to cook very well but it'll be better than that hospital food."
Sasuke nodded softly. He had only eaten stuff because Naruto would stare at him with those brilliant eyes and kindly ask him to. He followed his angel into the kitchen. He watched the other cook a meal of ramen. It wasn't fancy but he could tell the blond was really trying.
Naruto moved the food to the table and sat down. He blinked when Sasuke just stood there awkwardly. "You okay?"
Sasuke was confused again. What was this okay word? And was he actually supposed to sit down at the table like a normal person? He was so worried about making the wrong decision that he didn't even realize that his eyes had teared up.
Naruto quickly stood and went over to his friend. When he moved to hug him, he froze when he saw the raven flinch and tears fall from those almost lifeless eyes. He bit his lip, holding in his own tears. "Sorry. Um...look. I think we need to figure out how to help you better. Obviously, something is keeping you from talking so we'll have to find a way for you to communicate with me. But first, let's get some food into you. Maybe you'd rather eat on the floor? I have some cushions we can sit on if you want?"
Sasuke gave a nod. That made things a bit easier. They ate in silence, both sitting on the floor. When Sasuke was done he set his bowl aside and just stared at his hands.
Naruto watched, sadness filling him up. He washed the bowls and then led the silent male into the living room. He helped him sit on the couch, sensing his hesitation. But he didn't want Sasuke to sit on the floor again. "Okay. Now. First off, you need to know that if you want anything at all you just have to let me know. Unfortunately, we need to find a way for you to communicate." He suddenly grinned. "Maybe you can write it out! You remember how to write don't you?"
Sasuke gave a tiny nod. He may not have done it for...well since his memory began but he knew that he could. He blinked when the blond quickly got a pen and a pad of paper.
Naruto handed the items to him and smiled. "Okay. So that's settled. Another thing is that when you feel worried or upset about something you have to tell me okay? I promised you I'd always be with you and I meant it. So, do you not want to sit at the table during meals? You can either write it or just shake your head if you want."
Sasuke bit his lip and wrote on the pad.
"I am scared to sit at the table."
Naruto read it and nodded. "Okay then. We'll sit in here on the couch. Would that be okay?" He smiled at the nod he received.
Sasuke was a little surprised that his angel didn't ask him why he was scared but he was also relieved that he didn't have to explain. He wasn't used to feeling so much and it was beginning to scare him.
The blond gently held his hand, thumb moving over the pale skin. "Calm down. Take deep breaths. I'm here."
The raven nodded and took deep breaths. He actually felt better when given orders. He bit his lips again and wrote down,
"Please give me orders. It calms me better."
Naruto read it. He looked hesitant but nodded. "Okay, if it'll help. But it'll just be small things." When he received a nod he began thinking of what to say. He scratched the back of his head, feeling strange about ordering his friend around. "Um, well I guess the thing about telling me when something wrong is an order. Also, if you need anything don't keep it to yourself. I can't help you if I don't know what you need." He saw a tiny, TINY, flame of determination in his friend's eyes. It was obviously a determination to please.
Sasuke faced the other, fully focused on what he was saying. He could do that. He could follow orders. He knew he was good at following orders. Well...he felt the others hand gently squeeze his and he looked down. Their hands just seemed right when like this. And it had kept his mind from going down dark paths.
Naruto smiled with a sigh. "Well. I think maybe we should go to bed. Do you want to sleep in the guest room or in the bed with me? Either way is fine."
Sasuke seemed confused. He wrote out,
"Why would you want me in your bed? Do you wish sex from me?"
Naruto's eyes widened. "Sex?" He blushed. "No!" When he got a devastated look he quickly tried to explain himself. "Crap. That's not what I meant Sasuke. I just mean that even if I wanted to, you're just too vulnerable and it wouldn't be right..." He stopped when he saw a tear. He was only making it worse. "Sorry...but listen. I won't do anything you don't want me to do. And maybe later on, when you're doing better, we can have that kind of relationship again. It's just...I want it to be of love."
Sasuke was so confused.
"We used to have sex for love?"
Naruto nodded, blushing again as he rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah. We dated Sasuke. We were in love." He watched as the raven gave a tiny nod. It hurt to know that he didn't remember it, but Naruto was determined to prove that they were in love with each other. "Now. Time for bed." When he again saw sadness he sighed. "If you want to sleep alone that's okay. But to tell the truth, I would actually like you to sleep in the bed with me. No sex, just sleeping. But I want YOU to make the decision." It might be too much to ask for at the moment but he really wanted it to work.
Sasuke thought about it. He was used to sleeping alone. Up until the hospital it was all he had known. But...
"We can be in the same bed. Just...not your bed?"
It wouldn't feel right to infect Naruto's bed with his...sluttiness...with his filth.
Naruto smiled and nodded. "Okay. We'll use the guest room." He led the other to the guest room. "Tomorrow I'll get you some new clothes but for now you can use one of my shirts as a nightshirt." Naruto was definitely bigger than him so one of his shirts should be long enough to be used as such. He searched his room for a clean one and brought it to the raven. "Here you go." He blushed and looked away when Sasuke just stripped down naked and put it on. Sure, he had seen the other naked many times before but now...Well Sasuke wasn't in the best condition not to mention it felt wrong to even think that way about Sasuke when the raven was in such a state.
Sasuke sat on the bed, waiting for the next order.
Naruto changed into his pajama pants and moved into the bed next to him. "Now sleep. I'll be right here if you need anything." He gave a small smile when the raven cuddled next to him. He gently ran his hands through the soft hair and his eyes widened at a VERY soft noise. So his voice was still there! That meant it was just psychological and that Naruto would one day hear his beautiful raven speak again! He went to sleep with a big smile on his face.
Sasuke cuddled closer, loving the soft touches. He allowed the tiniest smile before he fell asleep. Maybe after this angel tested him he truly could go to heaven.
Hi all my sweeties! Some of my long term fans may recognize this story from a good while ago. I finally know where I'm going with this. I've made a few changes and I'm working on the second chapter now. Like literally, doing it right after I post this. I'm happy to finally know what's going on and how to move it. It might be my deepest story and I'm already very proud of it. So, for those that remember it: It'll be a good change. I will continue to put chapter warnings at the beginning to let you know. Love you all and hope you've been enjoying my updates and new stories.
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The Thing and The Angel