The Center Ring | By : Raina Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1724 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I don't make money from writing this. If I did own Naruto it would've ended very differently... |
AN: Hi there everyone, long time no see! This fic is dedicated to YuukoUchiha who wanted something with a Uchiha circus feel to it. It took long time for me to write this and I feel bad about that. She was the first person who ever made me feel like some one actuaully liked to read what I wrote, so in a way this is a thank you to her. But I would also like to extend a thank you to the people who reviewed and faved over the years even when I wasn't active you have no idea how much I appreciate that.
The numbers are Naruto's age(Sasuke's a year older if that matters to anyone). I was using them for myself when I was writing the story just to organize it but then I just decided to keep them in.
4
"And don't give him any sugar."
Minato rolled his eyes as he handed his money over to the man across the counter.
"Yes, Sweetie, of course…" he responded absently as he pocketed his change.
"I mean it, Minato," the voice on the other end chided, "You know how hyper he gets when he has too much sugar. When I come back home I want him in bed and not bouncing off the walls."
"Kushina," he sighed as he shifted a bit in order to keep the phone balanced on his shoulder. One hand held his recent purchase and the other gripped tightly to the smaller hand belonging to their son, "You don't have to lecture me; I know what I'm doing. We'll be just fine. You just worry about finishing up what you need to so you won't miss your flight back. We miss you... Right, Naru?" he asked as he looked down toward the small mop of blond hair, an identical shade to his own.
Naruto looked up at the mention of his name and seemed immediately captivated by his father's most recent purchase. His eyes grew wide with glee, appearing to completely disregard his father's words as he excitedly reached forward to silently requesting the object in Minato's hand.
Mistaking his son's excitement, Minato stopped and smiled down at Naruto. "Do you wanna talk to mommy?"
Naruto nodded eagerly at the question. He hopped on tiptoes as he reached sticky fingers up for the phone that was precariously perched on his father's shoulder.
Minato smiled at his son's antics and after shuffling a few things around in his hands, Naruto was settled on Minato's hip, his short chubby legs dangling around in mid-air, while both hands held on tightly to the small phone. "Mama! The circus is so big!" Naruto shouted into the phone. Minato chuckled as Naruto listened avidly to the other end of the line.
"Yes, the biggest of the big!" he explained animatedly as he held the phone tightly with one hand so he could gesture wildly with the other. "Are you gonna come next time?" Minato smiled when Naruto's eyes caught sight of what was in his other hand. Naruto gifted him with his irresistible puppy dog eyes and soon Minato was thrusting the cone of cotton candy forward. "Yea mommy, it's so fun, much better than business." After his statement Naruto leaned forward and opened his mouth, which was already ringed in messy caramel, and took a big bite of the fluffy confection. "Ish ummeh oo." Naruto spoke into the phone after awhile. After the candy in his mouth dissolved, he clarified. "It's yummy here too."
With that statement Minato's eyes widened much like a deer caught in headlights. He shot Naruto an imploring look. When he realized that it wasn't working, he looked around for something to distract his son.
"Naru," he whispered trying to gain the cheery tot's attention, "look at the elephants!"
"Caramel apple, and lollipop, and fun'll cake, and cott'n candy!" Naruto busily exclaimed into the phone.
Minato cursed internally, regretting that Naruto was only four and had yet to master the subtle art of "Father-Son Deceptive Eye Communication". He groaned as he watched Naruto's eyebrows furrow as he concentrated on the other line. "'K love you too, mama!" Naruto grinned into the receiver before he looked back toward his father and thrust out the phone. "Mama wants to talk to you… Daddy look! Lelephants!"
Minato groaned.
Minato grumbled as he leaned to the side to put his ear on the phone, Naruto was holding it at a slightly awkward angle as he was too distracted by everything going on around him.
"Yes, baby," Minato sighed as Naruto began reaching for the cotton candy. He handed the paper cone over and replaced it with the phone.
"Of course, dear, you're right." He leaned forward to take a bite of the candy that was mostly obscuring his view. "Mmhm. Yes, I will be in his room… Yep, all night if need be." His face broke into a crooked smile as he watched Naruto devour the cotton candy. "I'll see you tonight. I love you."
Minato ended the call feeling slightly defeated. Kushina was going to have his head on a platter. He imagined the many unpleasant things that would come once she got home that night and possibly for the next few days afterward and shuddered. He didn't realize he stopped walking until the wiggling in his arms notified him.
When Naruto gasped Minato unconsciously squeezed him tighter but relaxed when Naruto followed it up with a noise of awe. "Daddy!" he turned in his father's arms waving excitedly, nearly knocking the other things in Minato's hands to the ground. "Look at the big cats!" he pointed eagerly causing Minato to jerk back slightly in order to avoid getting hit in the face.
Minato steered the two of them closer to the cages. He smiled when he saw Naruto's eye light up in wonder at the prowling creatures. "Those are called panthers," he provided helpfully, wondering if his son heard anything he had said since his wide blue eyes remained glued to the animals.
"Panthers?" Naruto repeated in a daze, as his gaze remained focused.
"Yes, good job," he complimented. Dropping his smile a little, Minato's eyes darted around suspiciously. His voice dropped, taking on a mischievous tone. "You're a good learner, little man. So good that I think its time to teach you something that every man must learn."
He noticed that caught his son's attention when Naruto's head whipped around quickly and he focused on Minato with large serious eyes. The intensity of his stare only dulled slightly by the smudge of caramel on his chubby cheek.
"Since you're a big boy now, I'm going to trust you with a big boy secret. The only thing is, you can't tell mommy. She's not a man so she wouldn't understand," Minato almost felt guilty about doing this. Almost. But Kushina was a damn scary woman when she got mad and he had a future to think about. "It's what we like to call, reading faces."
Naruto cocked his head to the side as he looked curiously at his father. "Like a book?" he asked hesitantly.
Minato couldn't help the smile that bloomed. "Er.. sorta…"
-----
"What is he, six now?" Fugaku growled, frustrated, as he ran a hand through his hair.
"He just turned five…" Mikoto answered quietly as she finished securing the wrapping around Sasuke's arm.
"Itachi had a feature in the center ring when he was four! A feature, Mikoto. All I ask is that he does some simple tumbling on the side." He looked down at Sasuke whose eyes were downcast before he groaned and continued on. "It was just some simple tumbling." His voice got quieter as he looked between his two sons.
Itachi, who was sitting silently on a stool in the corner looking on sympathetically at his rigid younger brother, quickly averted his eyes when his father paused his ranting to look at him.
"Itachi… Itachi was so special; I guess I hoped for too much when I thought…" he sighed out in resignation, " Kid's not ready, I don't know if he'll ever be. I…" he cut himself off and let the silence around them fill with the building tension. Fugaku looked sadly at Sasuke and shook his head before he turned toward the entrance and stalked out.
Mikoto sighed as she watched her husband leave. With one more stroke to Sasuke's hair she cupped his cheek and moved his head up so she could see his eyes. She swiped away the fat tear rolling down his cheek with a gentle thumb. "Sasuke, don't worry about dad okay?" she began, her voice gentle as she tried to reassure him with the soft stroke of her hand through his dark hair. "He's just… he's tired. He loves you very much. You know that, right?" She waited till she saw understanding in his eyes before she continued; "I want you to sit down next to Shisui while we perform okay?"
Sasuke nodded minutely before she stood up and kissed him on the forehead then his bandaged arm.
----
After their man to man talk, which he couldn't admit he didn't quite get because his father seemed so happy when he nodded his head in understanding, he saw a real live clown.
He pointed it out to his father but the older man wanted to go inside the big tent and sit down. However, Naruto wasn't quite ready yet. He really wanted to talk to that clown because he'd never seen a real one before, only in pictures and on toys.
After he managed to wriggle his hand free from his father's grip, Naruto took off after clown. He ducked through the throng of moving people, trying to keep sight of that bright red hair. Even his mom's hair wasn't that bright. He heard his dad shouting his name but he was going to come right back, he just really wanted to say 'Hi'.
The red hair turned abruptly and disappeared into a cluster of tents and small trailers. Naruto had to weave through a group of people who walked past slowly, taking several pictures of everything surrounding them. When he finally got through the group and took notice of his surroundings, he felt a bit scared. It wasn't as busy as the rest of the circus grounds were and it was a whole lot emptier.
Biting his lip and furrowing his brow in determination, he continued his search for the bright red hair. He was a man on a mission, and the lack of people would actually aid in his search for the elusive clown. After turning what seemed like an endless series corners, he decided to give up the search for now and find his father. Maybe his dad would be able to help him. He looked around nervously, trying to remember which way he had come from.
As he made to turn another corner he heard a noise. It was soft but he definitely heard something. Being naturally curious, he backtracked to investigate the sound.
The closer he got to it the more he could recognize the noise. Someone was crying which usually meant that they were sad or in trouble. Naruto was taught that you should always be there to help those who needed it. He straightened his spine and, fueled by duty and a new burst of courage, he turned one last corner and stopped.
There, sitting on the ground between two trailers was a small child with dark hair. He was leaned against the side of one of the trailers with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms crossed on top. His head laid on top of his arms, one of which was wrapped in a bandage, while he looked off to the side. Every once and a while he would bring in a shuddering breath that shock his small body.
Naruto stepped over cautiously, his small feet making a soft scraping sound in the dirt. When he finally stood in front of the little boy, he crouched down, his head cocked to the side as he looked curiously at the other child. When the boy did not acknowledge his presence, Naruto scooted a bit closer and placed a small hand on the other boy's knee.
He didn't know why the boy was sad but he knew he had to help. "Are you lost? 'Cause my daddy's a policeman and he can help you find your house." He didn't think it was wise to mention that he himself was now kind of lost and had no idea how to find his father.
The boy just continued to look of to the side, completely ignoring Naruto's presence. But Naruto was never one to be easily deterred. Maybe he could try to make him feel better first. "Do you wanna know a man to man secret that my daddy just taught me?"
The young boy finally shifted to look up, remaining silent as he stared at Naruto with watery dark eyes. Naruto took that response as a yes and continued forward.
"Do you know how to read faces? It's not with words, you have to look at the eyes and they are supposed to talk to you like this," he widened his eyes and leaned forward, their noses almost touching, as he stared into the other boy's face.
"Do you hear anything?" he asked the silent boy. The kid with the dark hair stared at him for a while longer before shaking his head slowly.
Naruto leaned forward a little more, dropping his hand to the ground to keep his balance as he turned and whispered conspiratorially into the little boy's ear. "Me neither," he admitted finally relieved to tell someone, "But I didn't wanna hurt my daddy's feelings."
He heard the boy sniff as he moved back to settle onto his haunches. A fat tear rolled down the child's pale face and Naruto brought a hand up to brush it away, leaving a trail of dirt in its wake.
"Don't cry," he intoned softly before he leaned over to give the boy a hug. It always helped when his parents did that to him.
"Sasuke, are you over here?"
The new voice startled Naruto so much that he fell back on to his rear. He looked up and saw an older kid with long hair tied into a low ponytail rounding the corner. Naruto then looked over to his companion, Sasuke as he now knew, and noticed that he buried his face further into his arms.
"Sasuke, you-," the older boy stopped when his eyes landed on Naruto. "Who are you and what are you doing back here? "
Naruto froze for a moment at that question because he couldn't even remember what he was doing back there. The way the older boy looked at him made him feel uncomfortable. He wished his daddy was there with him. At the thought of his father, he remembered their earlier conversation. His daddy said he was a big boy now and though he was scared, he was going to act like one.
"Hi, I'm Naruto." Taking a step forward, he reached out his hand mimicking what he had seen his father do many times before.
The older kid raised a curious eyebrow but bent down to shake the young boy's hand. "Hi... Naruto, I'm Itachi."
Naruto watched the long dark hair slide across the Itachi's shoulder as he bent down to take his hand.
"Your hair is long but my mommy's is longer- it goes all the way to here." Letting go of Itachi's hand, Naruto crouched down to hit the side of his shin.
Itachi raised his eyebrow, "Where are your parents? This area is restricted."
Well Naruto didn't know what restricted meant nor did he know where his father was. Just as he was about to inform Itachi of those two things, he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and was then hauled up into the air.
He turned to meet the worried eyes of his father. He knew his father was saying something but it was hard to tell considering his body was being crushed in his father's arms while his face was buried in his father's neck. He did hear snatches of phrases here and there. A lot of it sounded like "Would have had my head on a platter..." and "Don't you ever EVER..."
When he was finally afforded the chance to breathe, he looked down, his eyes quickly searching the ground to find his new friend. Naruto spied a small tuft of dark hair peeking out from behind Itachi. When he caught Sasuke staring up at him, he shot him his brightest smile. All he got in return was a blank stare but from that moment on he knew that they would be the best of friends.
----
"Where's Sasuke?" Naruto asked, his impatient eyes searching the crowd.
"I don't know Naru but you're going to miss everything else, the show's almost over." Just as he finished his statement, the juggler caught all eight items and bowed to the cheering crowd before he ran offstage.
"And now would everyone bring your attention to the center ring."
"Oh! Naruto! This means the really special stuff is about to begin."
"But Daddy!" Naruto began, distracting Minato from the booming voice over the speakers, "He's gonna miss it!" Naruto cried as he tugged on his father's shirt.
"Sweetie, he is part of the circus, he's not going to miss anything."
"But I don't see 'em!" Naruto insisted as he stood up and perched on his tiptoes, his hand still attached to his father's shirt as he tried to see over the heads in front of him. Unfortunately due to his short stature, standing did not afford him any advantage. Minato grabbed Naruto by the waist and pulled him into his lap, hoisting him to stand on his thighs.
"Is that better, little man?"
Naruto scanned the crowd rapidly before his eyes landed on who he was looking for. Sasuke sat toward the front in the corner. The other performers surrounded him as they looked toward the center ring.
"I see'em, daddy!" Naruto yelled excitedly. "Sasuke!" he waved frantically trying to get the young boy's attention but to no avail. He was just a small voice in the loud din of the audience.
Minato chuckled at his son's enthusiasm before he pulled him close to his chest. "Let's wait til later, Naru and watch what's going on, okay."
Naruto give one last hopeful glance in Sasuke's direction before he nodded and rested a small hand on his father's shoulder and turned his attention to the center ring.
6
Sasuke stood perfectly still as he concentrated on his brother who stood just beyond the raised edge of the teeterboard. He focused on the balls as they soared above Itachi's head. One… two… three… four… His heartbeat seemed to synchronize with his counting though he was sure it was going a mile a minute not long before. One. Two. Three. Four. Red. Blue. White. Black. He locked eyes with his brother and knew it was now time.
"Ready!" he shouted out. Or at least he thought he did, he couldn't really hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears. The conformation that he shouted came when he saw two of his cousins come from behind him to run up either side to land on the other end of the board.
In the next moment, he was propelled high into the air, his mind already going over what to do next. Front aerial twist, straight into a tuck, then search. They were right there in front of him. Red, blue, white, and black. He reached out and started to grab the balls. One, two, three, four… He felt his heart clench as the black ball rolled across his fingertips and nearly out of reach but he managed to secure his grip. Sasuke pulled them close to his body as he rolled into one more tuck before he unfolded himself, making sure his feet were facing the ground.
In what felt like less than a half a second his feet landed on something warm and firm, hands immediately grabbing on to his ankles as he stood on top of Itachi's shoulders. He locked his knees to keep himself stable and kept the balls clutched tightly against his chest.
"Way to go little cuz," Tekka complimented, catching Sasuke as he jumped from Itachi's shoulders. "Damn, you're pretty heavy for a such a little dude…" he grumbled as he placed Sasuke's feet on the ground.
"Itachi," the low timbre of his father's voice had him straightening up quickly as he turned to watch their father's approach.
He watched as his father laid a hand on Itachi's shoulder and squeezed in quiet approval. When Itachi looked up at him, his father nodded. There was no need for verbal praise. Sasuke's heart sped up as his father focused his gaze on him and headed in his direction. He fought hard not to fiddle with his fingers as his father stopped before him, his face stern.
"Sasuke, you need to concentrate when you're up there, you almost dropped a ball." After receiving Sasuke's understanding nod he moved past him, his eyes already fixated on something beyond Sasuke's back.
Dropping his head in disappointment, Sasuke vowed that he would show his father that he could do better, would be better. He would be the best. He released a startled gasp when he felt a gentle pressure on top of his head. He immediately relaxed when he looked up into his brother's gentle gaze, up until that point he had not realized how tense he was.
"You did well." Itachi stated simply before his consolatory gaze shifted to one of amusement, as he looked in the same direction their father walked toward earlier.
Before he could turn around to see what caught his brother's attention, he heard the pounding of footsteps behind him.
"Sasuke! Sasuke!" He turned around to see Naruto running toward him with a gigantic grin on his face. Cocking his head to the side as if it would actually improve his vision, Sasuke began to study Naruto's face.
Once his energetic friend reached him, bending over at the waist to bring in large gulps of air, he was able to take a closer look.
"Sasuke!"
And the way Naruto said his name sounded strange.
"Sasuke, I'm rich!"
Actually a lot of what Naruto said sounded strange. When Naruto finally lifted his head, Sasuke figured out why.
Naruto no longer had his two front teeth.
After Naruto straightened up fully, he pulled two crumpled fives from his pocket. "When my teeth came out my daddy said that I hit the double jackpot and that the tooth fairy was going to give me a lot of money. And look!" He waved the rumpled bills in Sasuke's face, "Its ten dollars! I think I'mma buy me a bike or something with it! How cool is that? My dad is always right…"
"The tooth fairy isn't real," Sasuke cut in, causing Naruto to abruptly halt his excited exclamations.
Naruto looked at Sasuke as if he'd grown another head. He rolled his eyes before he leaned, giving Sasuke a reproachful look. "Uh...yeah, she does. Why do you think I have this after I put my teeth under my pillow?"
Sasuke shrugged at that. He didn't quite know the answer to that, but he would guess Naruto's parents. What he did know for certain was that the tooth fairy most definitely wasn't real.
"There's no such thing as the tooth fairy, stupid."
Naruto looked incensed as he nodded his head fiercely. "Uh huh, where do you think I got this money from?"
Sasuke crossed his arms and lifted his chin. "Not the tooth fairy," he reiterated stubbornly.
"Well my daddy says she's real and I get money all the time," Naruto defended. "And remember when I told you last year to put your tooth under your pillow? Where do you think that money came from?"
Sasuke's eyes widened before his face fell into a frown. "I didn't get anything. When I woke up my tooth was still there."
Before Naruto told him of the tooth fairy, whenever he lost a tooth Itachi would say was he was getting older, his uncle Obito would give him noogies, while his father would just tell him to throw them away. After he found out about the tooth fairy, the next time he lost a tooth he was sure to put it under his pillow. When he woke up the next morning, his tooth was still there. Gathering up all his courage, he went to ask his father if he had done something wrong.
"Tooth fairy? Sasuke," he sighed, his voice already sounding tired, "Don't spout such nonsense. There is no such thing as a ridiculous tooth fairy. Now stop carrying that tooth around and throw that useless thing away."
Naruto looked back at him, a confused frown on his face. "What do you mean you didn't get anything?"
Sasuke just scoffed as he crossed his arms and stared beyond Naruto's shoulders, watching their fathers talk. "Just what I said, I didn't get any money because she is not real," he mumbled as he watched Naruto's father laugh about something. His attention was drawn back to Naruto when he felt the other boy's hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, "Naruto began softly, "Do you think it's because you move around so much? Maybe its because you don't have a house so she doesn't know where you live."
Sasuke opened his mouth; ready to respond when Naruto stuffed one of his fives into his hand and gave him a wide smile.
"Here you go, now we can both be rich."
Sasuke looked at the wadded up five in his hand before he looked back up at the bright, gapped smile on Naruto's face and felt his lips curl up at the ends.
7
Once they stepped through the arched entryway Naruto was off. His scuffed sneakers kicking up dust as he darted off into a familiar direction. "Naruto, where are you going?" Kushina shouted as she tightened her arm around Minato's waist. She looked up at her husband's smiling face already knowing where her son was going after hearing all of the stories from the years before.
"To Sasuke!" Naruto shouted back barely taking a moment to stop before he disappeared around a corner.
She let go of Minato and took a step forward to go after Naruto. She felt uncomfortable with losing sight of him but a small pressure on her shoulder halted her steps.
"Just let him go, he'll be fine."
Kushina looked worriedly in the direction Naruto ran before looking back at Minato. "I can't believe you just let him run wild here."
Minato tugged her back, enveloping her in a warm embrace. He kissed her temple and she felt him grin in her skin as she relaxed. "He'll be fine…" he began, she could practically hear his smile widening in victory as she continued to melt into his arms, "besides, everyone knows him here."
----
Naruto waved a cheery goodbye to Shisui, brandishing the caramel apple in his hand and receiving a small wave in return. He took a large bite, the sweetness of the caramel and sourness of the apple mixed in his mouth garnering an appreciative hum. He slowed down a bit as he continued forward, wanting to finish his apple before he got to Sasuke's tent. He always got himself a treat before he met Sasuke because his friend would always give him those looks if he tried to buy anything sweet while they hung out.
His eyes wandered around as he moved forward. There was something different about the atmosphere this time. Everything seemed different, quieter. When he thought about it, even Shisui was not as cheerful and Obito hadn't popped out from behind anything in an attempt to scare the bejesus out of him. At that last thought, Naruto reminded himself to stay on guard just in case.
As he continued to walk around the feeling of apprehension grew. He soon lost his appetite and pitched the remainder of his apple into the nearest trash bin. With what seemed to be irrational worry he hurried toward the area he knew contained the residential tents and trailers.
Sasuke wasn't in his trailer when he opened the door. As he looked around the room he noticed that it looked like no one had been in Sasuke's trailer at all. The more his eyes scoured the room for any sign of Sasuke the more his heart picked up speed as an irrational fear took over. He quickly backed out of the door and turned around, his eyes frantically scanning the grounds. As they oft did, his emotions took over and he began running around yelling Sasuke's name. He pushed open several tent flaps and trailer doors, apologizing when he realized he was in the wrong place.
He threw open the next trailer door and stopped short. He wanted to feel relief when he finally found Sasuke but he couldn't.
He knew something was wrong. It was in the way that Shisui's eyes remained dull even with a smile on his face. It was in the way that Obito ruffled his hair lightly in passing instead of jumping out to scare him. There was something about the emptiness of Sasuke's trailer that that managed to cement the cold and dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach. And when he burst through the door to Itachi's trailer, it was in the way that both brother's were huddled together on Itachi's bed. Itachi sat with his back pressed against the headboard head toward the ceiling while he ran his hand absently through Sasuke's hair. Sasuke was curled into a ball, practically melting into Itachi's side. All of Naruto's previous urgency dissipated as he was caught between stepping forward or slowing backing out unwilling to interrupt this private moment between the two brothers. He felt sick to his stomach at the look on Sasuke's face and his desire to fix it was the deciding factor in moving him forward deeper into the trailer.
Most likely hearing the small creak from floor as Naruto took a step forward, Itachi moved his head to focus on the door. Naruto stopped once again, frozen as he took in Itachi's red puffy eyes. He held his breath, never once in his life feeling so confused about what to do next.
"Naruto" Naruto squeezed his hands into fists, willing himself to stay calm at hearing the unusually weak quality in Itachi's voice. He took in a shaky breath and hesitated in taking another step forward, waiting and unsure of what to do next. After Itachi spoke, he Sasuke looked in Naruto's direction and before he knew it, he was running to the bed and was at Sasuke's side. At his sudden movement Sasuke pushed closer to Itachi, shying away from Naruto's presence.
"Sasuke," Naruto murmured quietly as he raised his hand moving to comfort his friend. When Sasuke only seemed to move away more Naruto's hand hung in the air uselessly before he reluctantly drew it back to his side. He sank to the floor, sitting on his knees by the bed as he watched Sasuke in silence. He opened his mouth several times to speak but nothing ever managed to come out, mostly quiet garbled half words before he remained silent and waited. Eventually Sasuke turned to look at him, though he remained in his tight position against Itachi and he told Naruto what happened.
From what he could understand, Sasuke's parents where trying out a new routine. It was something extremely dangerous and experimental. They didn't take the necessary precautions and there was an accident. Since the circus was located on the outskirts of the nearest town, by the time they reached the hospital it was too late. Now they would never be coming back. "They're gone now," his voice choked at the end of his sentence so he chose to stop talking and instead looked into the space past Naruto's face.
Unable to restrain himself any longer Naruto cautiously climbed on to the bed and enveloped Sasuke in a tight hug, one that Sasuke did not return. It didn't matter to Naruto because he was too busy making promises that he would never die and never leave Sasuke.
----
There was a moment during the program when they dimmed all the lights. Projected onto the fabric of one of the sidewalls inside the tent was a picture of Sasuke's parents. Naruto wasn't aware of what the speaker was saying since his eyes were focused on locating Sasuke.
After a fairly quick scan he saw Sasuke off to the side near the front row. His face was almost as blank as his brother's except for the shimmer in his unfocused eyes.
Naruto bit his lip as his eyes darted toward his parents who were listening to what the speaker was saying and then back to Sasuke. After one last assessing look, to his mother in particular, he slid out of his chair and made his way down the aisle to the stairs. After making it down about five steps, he turned around when he heard his mother's harsh whisper for him to return to his seat immediately. Naruto looked at her and then back at Sasuke before he turned back to his mother and shrugged. He gave her his best sheepish grin and continued to creep slowly down the stairs toward the front row. He missed her start to stand up to follow him and his father's gentle hand on her wrist telling her to remain in her chair.
He laughed nervously at the disapproving scowls and hushed comments directed at him as he passed the front row and his steps breached the perimeter of the performance area before he stopped short to look forward. The spotlight was focused on Itachi and Sasuke while the speaker continued talking, laying a reassuring hand on Itachi's shoulder.
Naruto fiddled with his fingers for a moment, twisting them anxiously and biting his bottom lip before he came to a conclusion. Nodding his head in resolution he stepped forward until he reached the edge of the spotlight and grabbed Sasuke's hand. Neither said anything and Sasuke didn't acknowledge his presence aside from the small squeeze he gave to Naruto's hand.
10
It was the first year Naruto had not sought him out and that had Sasuke worried and annoyed. He left his trailer to search the grounds hoping that Naruto was just somehow late or perhaps hung up at one of the many distractions he seemed to get caught up in when he came to the circus. His first idea was to check the cages. He remembered how much Naruto talked about how cool all the animals were and how much fun they were to watch. He seemed to be especially fascinated with the panthers.
Frustrated, he kicked at a pile of straw near the elephants, their cages being the last one he checked without any sign of Naruto. The next stop on his list was the concession stands. Wrinkling his nose in distaste at the various smells that wafted from the stands, he ran past, eyes frantically searching for any sight of blond hair. His ears were perked, ready to filter through the buzz of the crowd around him to single out that loud obnoxious voice. Huffing slightly after he stopped, he placed his hands on his knees as he bent slightly at the waist to catch his breath, his chest heaving with effort to reach a level of calm. He couldn't understand why his heart beat so quickly and hadn't realized how fast he actually ran. When he finally stood straight he slowly turned his head scanning the crowd. He searched high, as Naruto liked to perch atop Minato's shoulders some times, and low for the tell tale head of blond unruly hair.
Something caught at the corner of his eye and he whipped around to his left and was relieved to see Naruto standing quietly near the ticket stand. He felt a sense of relief wash over him and broke out into a jog to catch up to his friend. Though as he got closer there were some things about Naruto's appearance that made Sasuke stop in his tracks.
Many things had changed since he last saw Naruto a year ago. The first, most noticeable thing was Naruto's company. Naruto was clinging to a tall man with long white hair pulled into a ponytail. The next thing he noticed was Naruto's face. What was once bright, cheerful, and friendly was now wan, solemn, and isolated. Not only was the lack of Naruto's exuberance surprising, so were the new scars on his face, still a slight pink attesting to the fact that they are a recent addition to Naruto's previously unblemished face. Sasuke couldn't understand. Naruto looked so sad and he was so quiet. He was always happy and loud, sometimes too loud, when he was at the circus.
Sasuke looked around Naruto, searching for another head of bright blond hair or a fall of long red. Naruto always came with his parents, as Naruto said, it was their family tradition. He couldn't understand who this new man was and why Naruto looked so sad next to him? A crying little girl reaching out caught Sasuke's attention, her voice high pitched and screaming as she called for her mother. Despair and fear were evident in her large green eyes as she stood in her spot, her head whipping around looking for her mother. A pair of slender arms wrapped around her middle and swooped her up in the air, pulling her into an embrace. Sasuke looked back at Naruto and saw similar emotions swirling in Naruto's eyes. He wondered briefly if Naruto was with the stranger against his will but immediately dismissed the thought before it could fully form. He walked with sure steps toward Naruto and the stranger and called out casually gaining the attention of wide blue eyes. Naruto gave him a weak smile when he approached.
"Hey", Naruto's voice was never so small. The man with the long white hair placed a large hand on Naruto's head and Sasuke watched as some of the tension eased from Naruto's shoulders. He took a small breath and told Sasuke everything.
The man's name was Jiraiya and he was Naruto's godfather. Naruto spoke to him about his parents and how he missed them. He cried when he told Sasuke he didn't want to be alone and didn't stop when Sasuke told him that he didn't have to be. Sasuke never noticed when he grabbed Naruto's hand but he was unwilling to let go. He squeezed it tightly when Naruto told him how he wished his parents were able to take him to the circus one more time.
For the first and only time, Sasuke asked to be taken out of the act so he could sit by Naruto the entire time. They didn't speak to each other at all during the performances yet Sasuke remained a constant source of warmth at Naruto's side. At the end of the show Naruto turned to Sasuke with a small, but genuine, smile. He leaned over and pulled Sasuke into a tight hug and thanked him for being his friend. Sasuke stiffened momentarily before he brought hesitant hands up to hug Naruto back. The low rumble of Jiraiya's voice prompted Naruto to let go and he was soon standing and grabbing on to the larger man's hand. The smile was back when he waved a goodbye to Sasuke and promised to see him next day.
Their entire stay in town, Sasuke did not perform.
13
"I saw it on TV before."
"Trust you to not only believe everything you that you see on television but to try it as well."
"But she loved it and everything! You could totally tell!"
Sasuke just stared at him blankly, completely unconvinced. He could tell that his lack of enthusiasm was driving Naruto insane, if the twitch of his friend's eye was any indication.
"Look, are you gonna help me or not? Because in a way, this would help the both of us. I don't know why you can't see that." Naruto finished with a whine as he tugged on his hair in frustration.
Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's dramatics. "And why can't you ask one of your other friends to do it again?"
"Because I already told them how awesome I was and how I would win Sakura over because I was the best." Naruto stopped for a moment in thought. "Besides, because of your help, I already feel confident enough to take this further." That was obviously said in an attempt to appeal to Sasuke's egotistical side. Naruto gave him a wide grin when Sasuke scoffed.
"It still sounds unnatural."
Naruto frowned as his brows once again furrowed in thought. A mischievous grin soon blossomed. "What are you? Scared or something?"
Sasuke bristled at that challenge. There was no way in hell that anything Naruto did or said that would intimidate him in the least. He set his jaw and glared at Naruto's beseeching blue eyes. They had been practicing for the past half an hour and the longer they did it, the more uncomfortable he felt. He didn't think adding another step would be such a wise idea.
"C'mon Sasuke," Naruto began as he moved forward once more, his eyelids already sliding shut.
Sasuke hesitated momentarily before he leaned in again as well. He felt soft warm breaths wash across his lips once more before he felt the already familiar pressure of Naruto's lips against his. He pressed back, his eyes shut tight as he felt his heart once again began to beat hard and fast.
Naruto still smelled of funnel cake, it was obviously something he got before he came to visit Sasuke's trailer. He was hoping that the smell would dissipate as time went on but it was just as strong as the first time they kissed that day. He figured the smell was tangled in Naruto's hair and for a split second he wondered if he ran his fingers through Naruto's hair if it would come back smelling like funnel cake. He swallowed a gasp when the feel of a firm wet push from Naruto's tongue against his lips caught him off guard. Sasuke opened his mouth slightly pushing his tongue forward assuming it was the next step. Their tongues found each other tentatively, a shy swipe here and an awkward jab there.
Naruto twisted his fingers into the loose cotton of Sasuke's tee shirt and pulled him closer. They adjusted their heads, trying to find a more comfortable position. Just as they finally reached the point when everything felt right and they didn't knock into each other awkwardly, they both broke apart quickly to take in much needed breaths of air.
Sasuke looked at Naruto silently, his face unreadable as his heart beat wildly in his chest while Naruto settled back and looked off to the side.
It was silent for a while before Naruto finally broke. "Well… that was…weird."
Sasuke wanted to roll his eyes.
He really should have known that trouble was sure to follow Naruto's seemingly innocuous question of 'Have you ever kissed some one before?' And he really couldn't understand his compulsion to stretch the truth, when Naruto was concerned. So telling him that he had kissed plenty of girls seemed to be the natural response though his answer might have been slightly over-exaggerated by "plenty". However, when he saw that gleam in Naruto's eyes he knew he had stumbled into something blindly. He tried to retract his statement but by then it was already too late and Naruto was on a mission to 'help them both out.'
Sasuke didn't dare respond but instead remained focused on the unmistakable flush to Naruto's cheeks while ignoring the warm tingling in his own.
14
Seeing each other after the previous year's "practice" felt a little off to Sasuke. He suppressed the disappointment he felt when this marked the first year Naruto didn't run up to greet him with a heavy arm slung across his shoulders. He told himself that it didn't matter anyway; they were far too old to be touching in such a manner. Apparently Naruto felt the same way. He realized that when they were walking toward his tent. While they strode next to each other, their arms brushed ever so slightly and they both immediately rebounded away from each other as if the slight touch stung. For the rest of the day they tended to skirt around one another, often leaving enough distance in between each other that a Mack truck could easily pass through.
This new phase in their relationship was different, uncomfortable, and a whole slew of other words that Sasuke either refused or unable to recognize. But he accepted it because Naruto was still there and still visited him daily.
What was slightly less acceptable was that Sasuke found that he had developed a sick and unwelcomed fascination with Naruto's lips. Lost in his thoughts over this new development during dinner one night, Itachi was able to catch him off guard when he asked him why he was "so lost in space." Since he was so caught up in his thoughts, his defenses were down and Sasuke easily fessed up to his newest fixation. After laughing for a good five minutes Itachi pat him on his head and told him that he was just dealing with hormones. Instead of cowering at the glare that was directed toward him, Itachi just stared at him for a prolonged period of time in contemplative silence.
As Sasuke prepared to yell at him, a strange gleam entered Itachi's eyes and a smile-Sasuke had never seen something so blithely sinister-slid onto his lips before he announced that Sasuke was in need of a new wardrobe. Sasuke blinked, caught completely off guard at the bizarre change in subject. Itachi then went on to explain that he had the perfect thing for him to wear, and that he was just waiting for the right time to give it to him. After saying in no uncertain terms that his current attire was totally acceptable and not to be changed, Sasuke forbade Itachi from coming within twenty feet of his wardrobe. Itachi just smirked and promised him that he would stay away from his closet. For some reason that did nothing to comfort Sasuke.
The next morning when Sasuke couldn't find his costume he immediately sought out Itachi. However, he didn't catch up with him until he returned to his room and found Itachi leaning casually against his dresser. He looked as if he'd been waiting there for a bit while he calmly drank from a mug shaped as a clown's head. How Itachi managed not to look ridiculous drinking out of something with a gigantic red ceramic nose only seemed to annoy Sasuke even more. After Sasuke growled out that Itachi promised to leave his stuff alone, his older brother just smiled and noted that he indeed kept his distance from Sasuke's closet yet, their cousin Tekka might have gotten lost. Sasuke felt his stomach drop past his knees as Itachi walked away with a maniacal lit in his laughter.
Staring down disdainfully at the neatly wrapped package that Itachi left on his vanity Sasuke averted his attention back to his friend who was giving his undivided attention to a generously powered funnel cake. He so very much wanted to grimace and complain instead of feeling the flutter in the pit of his stomach when Naruto's tongue came out and swiped at the powdered sugar dusting his bottom lip. Sasuke decided to frown and groan in distaste anyway, hoping that he managed to sound completely disgusted.
When that did nothing to gain Naruto's attention nor stop his tongue from coming up to swipe at his upper lip after he took another generous bite of funnel cake, Sasuke tried again.
"Ugh, that is so disgusting." He snarled, his lip curling up at the edge.
"Wha?" Naruto asked, completely unaware of the small piece of somewhat chewed fried dough that slipped past his lips and fell on to the floor.
"Look at you, idiot."
"What?" Naruto rushed to Sasuke's side, briefly forgetting their newly established boundaries, his arm pressed against Sasuke's as he stared at himself in the mirror. "Oh…" was the only thing Naruto said before he stuck his tongue out to lap at the corners of his mouth and lick across the length of his bottom lip. Sasuke's lip curled at the action trying to ignore the blood that wanted to rush up to his cheeks. Only Naruto had the proclivity to be both completely disgusting and entirely provocative in the exact same action. Sasuke was overloaded with the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch Naruto.
So he punched him hard in the arm.
"Ow! What the hell, you asshole?" Naruto shouted as he punched Sasuke back in his shoulder.
"Use a damn napkin!" Sasuke responded, his hand itching to the rub at the ache in his shoulder. He reached forward to shove Naruto back and Naruto responded quickly by slapping his hand away.
"You're a fuckin' douche," Naruto grumbled as he glared at Sasuke warily, one hand holding his abused arm while the other was curled into a fist, ready for any sort of retaliation on Sasuke's part. "It's not that big a deal." He intoned as his tongue swiped out unconsciously to swipe at his bottom lip again.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Use a damn napkin you, freakin pig," he gritted out, frustration overtaking his tone as he tossed a wad of napkins at Naruto's head. He took a breath, wanting to ignore the quick flashes of memory. He tried to ignore the barrage of recalled sensations, of textures, rough and slick and things he didn't want to think about anymore. Things he didn't need to think about.
Naruto muttered a curse under his breath as he picked up a napkin from the ones scattered around him and started to wipe roughly around his mouth. "There! You happy now, my queen?" Naruto stated grumpily as he balled up the napkin and threw it at Sasuke's head. Sasuke immediately smacked him in the back of the head. Naruto rubbed irritably at the spot, grumbling under his breath as he looked in the mirror to make sure he didn't miss a spot.
"But damn I'm hot right?" Naruto asked as he started to check himself out in the mirror instead of looking for any missed sugar.
Unable to watch Naruto any longer, Sasuke decided to focus on crack in the wooden frame around the antique mirror.
"Hey there, sexy, come here often?"
Unable to stop himself, Sasuke's eyes darted to Naruto right as he shot a crooked smile and wiggled his brows to his reflection. Annoyed that he couldn't get control over the way his body reacted to such an idiotic display, Sasuke ignored the wild beating of his heart and turned his back on both Naruto and his reflection. "Whatever," he murmured as his hand found the package holding his costume. He snatched it up, and headed toward the beautifully painted red and black shoji screen. "I have to change," he grumbled before disappearing behind the first panel.
"Tch," Naruto responded as he continued to look at himself in the mirror shifting around to check himself out at all angles.
Sasuke stood back there for a while trying to figure out which thoughts that he should just sort out then and which thoughts he should just completely repress. He heard some things fall to the floor and latched on to easily recognized feeling of annoyance. "Go sit down or something I don't need you breaking my things… again," he shouted over the partition.
"Hey asshole, that was one time! Jeez, do you ever let things go?"
Sasuke let a small smile escape despite himself. He could almost see Naruto flicking him off on the other side before picking everything up off the floor and plunking back on to the couch.
"I don't have to listen to you every time you know?" He heard him say, more as a way to rationalize his acquiescence than anything else. And it made Sasuke's smile even bigger.
He opened the package and it took all his will power to keep his jaw from hitting the ground. He hated Itachi. With every fiber of his being.
"You know what? I looked it up and your family does it wrong."
Sasuke stopped pulling on his pants, he hesitated at the thought, well they weren't so much pants as things that looked closest to pants. He looked around the screen to give Naruto a cool glare. It would have been more effective had Naruto not been lounging around on his couch playing catch with his ball of Kevlar as he looked up at the ceiling
"Excuse me?" Sasuke finally spoke up when he realized that his staring was not gaining Naruto's attention.
Naruto caught the ball and turned toward the screen. "The circus, they do the circus wrong."
Sasuke scoffed. "We 'do the circu…'", he repeated, irritation effectively stopping him mid-sentence, "You idiot, we have been doing this for generations, we don't do anything wrong."
"Yes you do, when you have a three ringed circus, you're supposed to have acts go on in all the rings at the same time…"
"And who says it needs to be like that?"
"No one… well everyone. It's in the definition, it's gotta be part of the rules or something."
"I'm amazed that you've taken the initiative to do some research but I'm not surprised that you would do it so poorly."
"Hey I'm just telling you the rules, dude."
"And who enforces these strict rules? Are there circus police? Does a council go around monitoring circuses? I'm sure each type of circus is different in its own way." Sasuke sighed as he paused to tug on the tight fabric. "The rings are symbolic for us. They represent skill and status. When you perform in the side rings it means you do not possess the skill and thus warrant the attention to have the focus of the entire audience. The center ring means that your skill is superior and that all must watch you."
"Wow, that sounds intense… "Naruto said as he scratched the back of his head nervously. "But, you've never been in the center ring and I watch you all the time."
"You're not the entire audience either, idiot." Sasuke groused before he returned back behind the screen to continue changing.
Naruto shrugged as he turned back to throwing the ball of thread in the air. "Don't get me wrong, the stuff I see in the center ring is awesome. But… I dunno, I think you're pretty great too and you're not there so the center ring can't be that great. You're like the best juggler I've ever seen! And you can do those flips and stuff. You could be in the center ring no problem."
"Tch, I don't want to be a juggler. Even an idiot like you could juggle," Sasuke remarked flippantly as he pulled on a sleeve.
"Hey!" Naruto protested as his eyes drifted to the ball of string in his hand. His expression melted from indignation to consideration. He tossed it high up in the air and reached forward only to knock it with his fingertips causing it to tumble down and hit his nose. He pouted before he shouted back at the partition. "I'll have you know that I can do anything you could, asshole!"
"Which is why I don't feel I'm ready for the center ring," came Sasuke's quick reply.
"Bastard," Naruto mumbled as he began tossing the ball of string back in the air.
Itachi actually offered him a chance to perform in the center ring every year when they decided on their acts and every year Sasuke would decline. He could just see his father shaking his head in disapproval at anything Sasuke did.
'Like this he'll never be in that ring… It's shameful.'
When he finally took the center ring it would be because he was the best. Better than his brother, better than his father, and better than anyone else who ever performed in that ring. But first he needed his act to be ready; he needed it to be perfect in order to prove himself. Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes before he yelled over the top of the partition.
"Just know this: all acts in the center ring are usually the most entertaining and the most dangerous. When I'm ready for the center ring, you'll know. Now shut up"
"Well you're wrong so whatever." Naruto responded stubbornly. "I still think you would kick ass the center ring."
"And I still think you're an idiot. I don't want to talk about something you know nothing about anymore. Only you could engage someone in such an asinine conversation." Sasuke sighed as he ran his fingers through his long hair the ends brushing against his collarbone.
"Yeah well…" he heard Naruto began only to pause. He could only assume that Naruto needed a moment to formulate his comeback. "Yea well what does that say about you? You're just as asinine for engaging in the conversation."
"Don't use my words against me because you can't think of anything on your own." Sasuke admonished before he fully stepped out from behind the changing screen.
Naruto turned to face Sasuke, his mouth open and prepared to tell Sasuke just where could stick his precious words and he stopped. It appeared as if all of the words came to a halt in his throat as his mouth hung open. "W-what are you…?" Naruto began as slight coloring tinged his cheeks, "What is that?" he finally managed to get out as he gaped at Sasuke's costume.
"Nothing, this is my new outfit." Sasuke fought the urge to smirk when Naruto's eyes widened.
Sasuke looked down at his new performance attire. He remembered frowning at it when he opened the package and almost yelled in rage when a piece of paper covered in his brother's neat hand writing fluttered to the ground after he took the garment out. He stared at the sparkly royal blue monstrosity and vowed that Itachi's death would be slow and extremely painful. He entertained the idea of refusing to wear it but he had a feeling that any alternatives he would be able to acquire before the show would be ten times worse. He ripped his eyes away and focused on the note that came tucked into the folds. He could almost imagine Itachi with that smug look on his face, dangling the unitard in his face.
'Sasuke,
Now that you're older I think it's time that you started attracting more attention. It would be beneficial for you in the future in the way of securing your fan base when you finally take your rightful place in as the centerpiece of the show. Having a large fan base is essential to being the star attraction in the center ring and this will get you that fan base, little brother. Trust me.
Your ever loving brother'
So with much grumbling he crumbled up the note and tossed it to the side. He sulked for a moment before he finally began to dress. However now he felt completely exposed with the way Naruto was just staring at him like that. He fought the urge to fidget and managed to turn out a convincing scowl.
"Why the hell are you staring at me like that?"
Naruto jumped slightly, startled from his daze. His cheeks colored quickly and brightly. "I wasn't staring, I was just looking… Where are the rest of your clothes? I mean like, what goes over that?"
Sasuke frowned, irritated at Naruto's question. "What the hell do you mean where's the rest of it? This is it."
"But-but it's so…" Naruto began, desperately trying to come up with the appropriate words to express his thoughts. "You can see stuff…"
"You act like I'm naked or something." Sasuke valiantly fought down the sudden urge to cover his crotch as a wave of self-consciousness washed over him.
It was an exercise in futility he realized, and long since suspected as young as the age of seven to be exact, to get Naruto to do anything pertaining to acts of subtlety. But it still took Sasuke somewhat by surprise when Naruto stared so blatantly at him. Naruto coughed, a light coloring staining his cheeks, before ripping his eyes away and started concentrating on the ball of string that he'd been tossing. "So what's this stuff anyway?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the item in his palm, "This is the weirdest looking yarn thing I've ever seen…"
Sasuke stopped in his tracks as he just stared at Naruto. "And why would I have yarn?" he questioned before he continued heading toward the couch.
Naruto shrugged as he turned it over in his hand, inspecting it closely. "I dunno," he finally spoke up, "The same reason anyone else would have yarn I guess…"
"And what would that be?" Sasuke questioned, stopping to stand right in front of Naruto, close enough for their knees to brush.
At the brief touch, Naruto jolted minutely before he looked up to gift Sasuke with a look of derision at something so completely obvious. "To knit?" he remarked in a patronizing tone.
Sasuke bent down and snatched the thread out of his hand. "You're a fucking dumbass. To knit? Really, Naruto?"
Naruto looked back at him, defiance already swirling in his eyes before the look of realization and, Sasuke hoped, a hint of logic surfaced. He smiled sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his head. "Sorry," he mumbled as his eyes traveled from Sasuke's hand up toward his face.
They were silent once again. Sasuke watched as Naruto's eyes swept over him once more and then dart to the side.
"It's Kevlar," Sasuke finally spoke up after clearing his throat.
Naruto's nose crinkled up in confusion as he let the word roll around and settle in his head. A fact made obvious by the slight movement of his lips. Pulling his gaze away from Naruto's mouth, Sasuke vaguely wondered if this new fixation with Naruto's lips would be a passing phase.
"The hell is that for?"
"None of your business," Sasuke answered as he stepped away to place the ball on to his dresser thankful, for once, that Naruto's voice broke the prolonged silence. He needed to put some distance between them. After taking a breath Sasuke turned around to look at Naruto who now sat at the edge of the couch, his forearms resting on his knees as he played absently with his fingertips. Sasuke leaned back further, the small of his back pressing into the edge of the countertop as he crossed his arms over his body. The silence between them was back once again. For once quiet between them was something that Sasuke found uncomfortable. It drew too much attention to the irregular beating of his heart or to the resurfacing memories he tried so hard to forget. In addition to everything, there was an odd feeling between them all day that it was easier to notice when they were suspended in this new quiescence. As the moment stretched on, Sasuke occasionally found himself acutely aware of every time Naruto would pull in his bottom lip nervously. He forced his gaze up and caught Naruto's eye and they both immediately looked to the side.
"So… have you kissed anyone yet?" Sasuke asked, voice slightly shaky as his eyes roamed around the room.
"Yes…" Naruto began as he once again chewed on his bottom lip, " I kissed Sakura." A wistful smile crept up at his admission.
Sasuke ignored the sharp jolt in his chest at Naruto's admission. "She finally gave in to you huh?" he asked steadily.
"No," a crease in his forehead forming at Sasuke's tone, "We were at one of those parties playing a game. We had to be in a closet for a few minutes so I made my move. After she hit me she told me that I was a pretty good kisser," Naruto finished with a small chuckle at the memory.
Sasuke smirked, feeling inexplicably lighter, "Did you tell her you learned everything you knew from the circus?"
I'm just making sure I have some place with all my stories... This needs major editing...
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