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Slippery When Wet	By : DevilnBlue Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1983 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or make any profit by writing this fic.

Chapter List
- 1-Slippery When Wet
- 2-Chapter 2
- 1
- 2
Hello, this is Simply Hopeless, also known as Assassin's Kiss and I am here with a new story. Why am I typing a new story when I have a gazillion stories waiting for me? Because I have writer's block and sometimes writing something new helps clear my head, plus I've been watching a lot of fairytale inspired shows. Shows like Grimm, Once Upon a Time and Sleepy Hollow really gets a girl excited. How do mermaids play a role in this? How should I know? They are fairy-tale-ish and sometimes I try not to question my crazy muses in my head so here goes nothing. I hope you guys enjoy, it's short but sweet, I guess. I might write more if people review it and show me they wanted it to continue. I also will be coming back to AFF and FF on Halloween 2013 with a few updated stories from several different animes so look forward to that.
Slippery When Wet
Lips pursed tightly together as azure orbs glared at the trussed up redhead in his rusty bathtub. It had taken a lot of cursing and finagling on his part to tie up his captive without the demented thing trying to go at his ear again like a Mike Tyson reject.
The blonde swore every curse word under the sun and then some when he was forced to sit on the closed toilet lid and blindly poured peroxide on his battered left ear. It burned like a motherfucker and caused a diluted trickle of blood and peroxide to dribble down his strong jawline and splash against some of the cuts on his collarbone. Clumsily he stood up, checked the damage, swore, and delicately tried to bandage the tattered flesh the best he could with the small first aid kit he miraculously found taped behind the toilet's tank.
Once that was taken care of the frustrated blonde sat back down on the toilet to continue to glare at his attacker even as he began the painful task of cleaning and bandaging the bite marks and scratches on his tanned arms and legs. He wouldn't have even been surprised if he needed a tetanus shot or at least rabies shot after this. And when things were all said and done he was still hungry, as he paused in his actions to rub apologetically at the tone muscles of his abdomen.
'Fuck Mother Nature!' He cursed mentally even as he tossed another bandage wrapping in the plastic trashcan.
All the while the blonde was clumsily taking care of himself, the mint green eyes of his attacker looked aloofly back at him. Occasionally his pouty, blood stained lips would twist into something of a sadistic smirk at his handiwork and the colorful words that rang out in the tiny bathroom. But then he'd scowl down at the coarse ropes that bound his limbs tightly together and then try to bite at them with his abnormally sharp teeth.
His pale cheeks and neck were still flushed pink from his earlier struggle with the blonde idiot before he tried to break his restraints in earnest. This only resulted in the redhead flopping around the tub like a brainless fish out of the water. But no matter how much he rocked, flailed and wiggled, the rusty monstrosity he was trapped in refused to budge and only rained some more rusty bathtub flakes onto his pale skin.
The bits of rust were already starting to irritate his delicate skin, but he refused to complain to the blonde twit. They had moved past bargaining a long time ago after he had taken a healthy mouthful of the blonde's ear. So until the redhead could find another way out of the situation he rested heavily on one side, his pale cheek pressed against the cool lip of the tub. That was until the redhead hoisted himself up just a little bit to spit a gob of blood on the dirty tiled floor. Not his of course, the blonde's.
If the blonde in question weren't so incredibly pissed off, he would have thought the guy inside the badly maintained tub was kind of hot. Short, siren red hair that was unnaturally bright and vibrant, complimented his cool, mint green eyes. The redhead had a lithe frame that rippled seamlessly like the waves of an ocean when he moved and pouty lips given to scowling. He didn't even mind the scales. Honestly. The blonde had never seen someone in real life, except for maybe Sasuke bastard, with skin that milky white.
People he usually saw with that type of skin usually burst into flames on television and movies, and/or suffered from some wicked harsh sunburns that made them resemble a red lobster when UV rays met flesh. For example, his best friend and his brother had to carry large bottles of suntan lotion with them practically everywhere they went and that still didn't guarantee they didn't sizzle like fatty bacon hitting a hot pan; that is unless they toted an umbrella with them during particularly sunny days.
The blonde didn't realize he had forgone glaring at the redhead to eye raping, until the psychopath in his bathtub spat out that bloody reminder that he bit him.
"Look here you little fucker, if you had stopped struggling so damn much in the first place I'd have been happy with just taking an Instagram pic of you and sending you on your merry, fucking way. You'd probably go off and murder a school of fish afterwards; but who the hell am I to deny a sadistic bastard his pastime. But nooooo� instead of playing nice you bit, scratched, smacked and damn neared tried to drown me. I should fucking fillet your ass!" he hissed out the last part, nostrils practically flaring in his anger.
Honestly it wasn't much of a leap, the idea of filleting the redhead because a) he was starving and b) the psycho in his bathtub was a mermaid� merman� merperson? The blonde surfer didn't honestly care what the redhead was beyond whether he might carry a disease. He had honestly thought these half man/half fish creatures was some hocus pocus fairytale stuff like the Easter Bunny or Lady Gaga ever being sane.
The only reason he had found the merman was because he was hungry. The blonde, named Naruto, wasn't much of a fisherman. But when he found his perverted Uncle Jiraiya's old fishing net he had hoped to catch something this morning. He would have tried eating more ramen again, but there had barely been anything inside the beach house that his Uncle had left for him to eat while he babysat the house over the summer; and he sure as hell didn't have any money. Just enough for a week's worth of ramen and the last two packs he had to cut in half just so the police wouldn't have to draw a chalk line around his malnourished corpse.
So he thought he'd go the pioneer route and try his hand at being a fisherman. How hard could it be? He had seen enough of the show Deadliest Catch to at least know how to set up a net. So even as he boiled his last small block of ramen, he had went to bed with little fishies dancing in his head. As soon as it was morning he had thrown anything on that was somewhat clean so that he could check the net only to find the red-haired monstrosity that had pissed off the blonde enough to drag the psycho bastard home, deposit him in his bathtub and begin the glaring match that still didn't solve the mystery of what the hell he was going to eat as his stomach began to speak in tongue.
Naruto asked, as he realized that the person who could easily solve his dilemma was his prickly best friend. "Hey Sasuke-teme, is it still considered cannibalism if half of the meal is fish?"
Apparently the redhead understood human because he began to struggle once more in earnest. It was a pity, indeed that it wouldn't be that easy for Naruto to get rid of the redhead.
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Slippery When Wet