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Bonds of time	By : drakoniss Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Naruto Views: 2639 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and make no money on the fiction I write.

Chapter List
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Real love stories never have endings.
Richard Bach
"You wanted to see me?" Shikamaru was all business; the line of his back straight and rigid, feet close together in a respectful stance of a soldier reporting for his duty. " Lord Hokage?"
His skin glowed from the recent shower, shaggy mane drying already in the warm air of the fine summer evening. The light from the table lamp deep laid shadows over the planes of his face accentuating lean angles and high cheekbones, slanted eyes staring at Naruto expectantly through the dark lashes.
"Beautiful." Naruto thought gazing up at him, "And dangerous; And completely out of my reach."
And he should not be thinking these thoughts, three years after that thing between them ended, and they barely spoken to one another besides the official shinobi business of an elite officer and his subordinate.
"Yeah.' Naruto gestured at the dog-eared folder on the desk in front of him, three good inches or so in diameter. Focus, Naruto.I've been putting this off for a while… but we have to get it over with, Shikamaru. Sit down; it might take some time."
The wary look resurfaced when Shikamaru obediently sat in the hard chair across from Hokage's desk regarding Naruto with no real warmth behind his stare. Apprehension, definitely; even suspicion, and Naruto did not have a heart to blame him for either even in the slightest.
"Is this about my condition?" Shikamaru asked, tucking a heavy lock escaped from his longish bangs behind his ear. -" Or Hidan?"
"Both."
Naruto flinched; stared morosely at the magenta folder with Shikamaru's name scribbled across in Shizune's handwriting; that thing had been old.
"Naruto." Shikamaru clacked his tongue sympathetically; or maybe it had been scorn. "We don't have to talk about what you've read in that file. I would imagine that it's been like pulling teeth; but you had no other choice, being the new Hokage and all. I can give you my word backed up by the recent psychiatric evaluation, - that I am fine. I won't go berserk during mission and start chopping folks up. There is a very small possibility I will fly off the handle at the mere mentioning of his name, or seeing a flash of sliver hair in the crowd, either; I still have anxiety attacks, and nightmares mind you… but only on my days off. The Hidan part has been taken care off."
"You only get one day off."
Naruto replied, wishing that he never had to read that damned file; it's been enough that he was the one who found Shikamaru all those years ago - tied to the bed by rope and hair, slowly bleeding to death out of every orifice in his body, natural and manmade alike. In his eighteen years, Naruto had seen many things; some have been bad; some ugly; some just plain horrid. And it's not like he never saw a gutted human being before, or had not gutted a dozen or two himself. But Naruto took one look at the glistening intestines spilling out of Shikamaru's abdominal cavity, and doubled over puking like a first year genin, the fresh stench of it adding to the smell of blood and death in the air.
The hole in Shikamaru's left shoulder had been clean and geometrically accurate – a perfect cylindrical shape, meat, muscle and bone all plucked out from inside, skin around his wrists raw and covered with bruises. All in all, a pretty corpse that barely head a breath or two left in him.
By some unknown miracle, Shikamaru lived. He lived, but they never spoken about what really went on during that week; what had really been done to him. Now, Naruto knew. Nothing he ever imagined could come close, - the reality had been so much more horrifying.
"My point exactly."
Shikamaru relaxed his long legs in the chair, bored expression playing on the chiseled face. Nice; very convincing.
"Fine. " Naruto relented even though his gut told him to keep on probing;" I'll take your word for it; for now. We might need to come back to it later. You must understand – why, right, Shikamaru?"
"Oh, I understand."
Patronizing little shit. Three years ago Naruto would put that smart to a good use, seizing all the talk at once… but now…now he could only grit his teeth, guilty conscience gnawing at him from the inside. He… deserved it; in a manner of speaking.
'Now… tell me about the … sex thing."
"Don't you have a file on that too?"
"Been destroyed in the fire. I know the basics, but the information needs to be updated."
Shikamaru shrugged.
"Not much to tell, really. I have inherited this genetic condition… One out of ten boys in Nara clan born with it."
"No shit?"
By the slight trembling of full lips, Naruto's figured that his expression, even as fleeting as it had been, must have been that funny."
"You have much to learn, Naruto."
"Right. So what exactly does it mean?"
"It's called the Nara hyper sexuality disorder. A highly inconvenient condition with a wide range of side effects."
They both had been uncomfortable now. Naruto got up to open the window – the damned thing's been getting stuck and he usually did not even try, putting of fixing it with the rest of the tings that needed to be fixed. Tunade in her last years simply did not bother with things like housekeeping.
"Look." Naruto rubbed the bridge of his nose, wising to be anywhere else but here. " I don't need an overly graphic explanation. Just enough first hand information that I would know what I am dealing with. "
"What I am dealing with, you mean. All right. So, basically, what it comes down to…is that I need to have sex. On regular bases. I don't get fucked at least once a week – I get withdrawals. Headache, nausea, muscle cramps, seizures… blackouts… you name it. Nasty stuff."
"So, if you get the withdrawals -you are not fit for missions."
"Well, no. In that case, I am supposed to let my Hokage know that I had not been able to get my fix for the week…. And get a leave of absence for the day. "
"Did that ever happen?"
"No."
"And if you can't find a partner…"
"I always find a partner."
"The other things … don't work for you?"
Behind the blazing smile Shikamaru vibrated with tension, drumming his fingers on the wooden armrest of the rickety chair.
"Like masturbation and. …inanimate objects?'
"You said it."
"Well, no, it does not; and no, they don't. I need to get… a real thing inside me to relieve the symptoms… to be able to go to work, and you know, kill. "
Naruto walked back to the desk and drained his cold tea thankful for the surge of fresh air, then set the cup back with steady hand. Inside though – he did not feel nearly as balanced.
"How come… you never mentioned it ...before?"
Shikamaru looked up before averting his eyes, something like regret passing briefly over his features.
"We were screwing at least four times a day, Naruto. I did not need to mention it. A steady partner pretty much eliminates the side effects."
"So, there is a cure for it."
"You could say that." Shikamaru brought his arms forward to put the elbows on his knees, setting his chin to rest over the clasp of joined fingers. "You know… I don't hold grudges. Not for long, anyways. You did not have to make this so… clinical. It would have gone over much smoother with some food and alcohol, and I would not even care if you talked to me again the next day."
"It's not that simple."
"Actually," Shikamaru disagreed with lightness that could be anything else but the real thing. " It is. Are we about done here? I left my smokes with Kiba outside; I have a feeling I won't be getting them back."
"Anything else you want to tell me about that condition of yours?'
"I don't own it." Shikamaru snapped. " I just happened to have fucking inherited it."
"Right. So, anything else you wanna add?'
'Nah.' Shikamaru gave Naruto a long look , assessing gaze sliding off Naruto's skin like a close touch. "Nothing else."
Naruto did not become a Hokage by believing in everything that people told him. Even after three years of non-interaction he could still read Shikamaru like an open book, and a boy did not become a better liar since then. But he could always push more next time.
"All right then. Dismissed. Send Inuzuka in on your way out, will you?"
"Sure thing."
He unfolded his long limbs from a chair and hurried out of the room pass Naruto desk, letting his guard down for a split second at the exact moment when their eyes met, brown irises wide and anxious, like a fawn with one leg trapped in a snare.
How very ironic; three years and a failed marriage later, Naruto found himself in the exactly same situation he'd been running from - drawn towards Shikamaru's bright light like an imprudent moth to a fucking flame. He used to think there was a point to protect himself from going out in a blaze of fire , but his little moth wings got scorched, process of running notwithstanding. Maybe he should have let Shikamaru do it instead.
"Shikamaru."
He called, before thinking of what he was doing, and why.
"Lord Hokage?"
Slight rise of eyebrows and a perfect poker face.
'If I saw you on the street one day…and asked you for a drink, you would not, lets say, dump a bucket of cold water over my head?"
"If I had one handy." Shikamaru replied, faint smile playing on that fine mouth of his. "But I usually don't. It's safe to say you would be all right. I'll see you around, Naruto."
"See you."
After the door behind him closed Naruto drew a shaky breath and allowing himself a moment of weakness hid his face in his hands, tough facade crumbling as he mulled over the meeting.
Back then, being naïve and idealistic, he cherished the idea of a family he never had above anything in the world. He wanted a wife, a dog, and house, and most importantly, - children. He wanted children; to give them everything he never had – to have somebody to love and protect, like he wanted to be loved and protected growing up; living a life of a lonely orphan.
Even vastly inexperienced in the matter of heart he clearly realized that if his let his relation ship with Shikamaru to go on – he would never be able to go through with marrying Hinata. That his dream about having kids would forever stay just that – a dream.
He knew, now, that some dreams just never lived up to the expectations.
"
It was late when Naruto finished with everything; even later when he got home taking an extra long, curvy route to his isolated house on the bed of Konoha River; away from people eye where nobody could take a peak inside the new Hokage's personal fiasco of extraordinary proportions – his failed marriage to Hyuuga Hinata.
Hinata was still awake; When Naruto walked slowly into the dining room she'd been clearing dishes from table, candles burning in antique chandeliers. She looked beautiful and otherworldly, - in a way that close to death or mentally ill appear sometimes; entirely flawless. Hair braided in a latest fashion, Hinata's razor sharp bangs hovered over her downcast eyes contrasting nicely with the alabaster pale skin. Not in bed at this hour, and pleasantly cheery. Never a good sign with his wife. There was just dessert left by now, the heart shaped mochi rice cakes arranged prettily on a glass dish. Naruto gaped at them, bad feeling rising from the pit of his empty stomach. He'd skipped dinner at the office; now he had a strong feeling that going to bed hungry would be the least of his worries tonight.
"There is something I need to ask you."
She dropped offhandedly, white eyes frozen over the mochi hearts.
"What?"
Naruto haltered his step.
"Have a heart, Naruto."
"No, thanks. "
He should have known better not to open his fucking mouth.
"There is rumor going around the village, - that the whole time we were engaged, you were cheating on me."
"We were engaged since we were fifteen. I never promised I was not going to fuck around. But we've talked about all of this before, Hinata. Why bring it up tonight?"
"It's all right if you don't love me." She announced opening her fingers to let the serving dish slide to the floor, large chunks of glass striking Naruto's muddy shoes and her perfect feet, bare feet. The finest glassware in the whole Fire Country; a small price to pay in Hiashi's eyes to get rid off his crazy, oldest daughter. The house had been their present as well. "And I don't even care if you love him. But – I can't live without you, Naruto."
"I know."
"You can never leave me. Never. I don't care what you do outside of this house, but you must always come home to me.."
Hinata dangled her foot playfully over the peak of a pointed glass shard, dainty toes painted bright red.
"Hinata.' Naruto warned, half wary, half tired, and mostly way past the point of caring. "Don't."
She smiled her sweet smile at that, then lowered her foot slowly over the sharpest peak on the floor. It sunk inside the unprotected flesh like knife in butter. Transfixed, they both watched rice cakes turn pink and soggy with blood.
She walked away putting the pressure on the injured foot like the glass had not been there at all, leaving the broken blood trail behind her.
"No matter what you do, Naruto… Only I can give you children. Not him. "
She added as an afterthought, voice pleasant and thoughtful, like the long awaited breeze on the hot summer afternoon.
"We've tried that, you crazy!..."
Naruto yelled to her retreating back, shaken, completely defeated in the battle he never even tried to fight. The feeling of rage fueled by helplessness rose up from within, and he welcomed it to consume him fully. He felt the overpowering need to destroy. Anything, - since he did not trust himself not to destroy Hinata. On it's own accord his hand flew to connect with the living room wall. He kept on hitting as he walked to his quarters through the long corridor, blow after blow, splinters landing over his head like snowflakes. Wedding pictures, ornate vases and Hyuuga family heirlooms swept from the shelves and stepped on in a methodical, unforgiving fashion. Naruto, of course, did not have a thing of his own. He should have walked away three years ago; right when he found out she'd lied about the baby. Return the wedding gifts and their crazy daughter to Hyuuga clan, and walk away, consequences be damned. He worried she would not survive the break up; he always worried about that, before. Now days, Naruto mostly worried if he survived the marriage.
"Stupid boy." The fox called out from the depth of his foggy mind, "Stop that racket; you are giving me mental indigestion."
"Shut up."
He'd wrecked his right hand; Naruto could see the bone glinting dully between the flaps of loose skin, blood pouring from the open gashes. Oh fuck. He would need to call a medic tomorrow to patch this up properly, hopefully the one who did not like to gossip. He could care less what Hinata did with her foot.
Kyuubi's voice retreated, and did not bother him again while he wrapped a makeshift bandage around his fist taking out as many splinters as possible. Brought back to reality by a stab of pain that only seemed to intensify, he walked out to the balcony to sit crossed legged on the floor. The aftertaste of defeat lingered in the back of his mind; painted into a corner, that's what he was. All by his own doing.
"I need to get a dog." He thought gazing up at the stars above, nursing the pain in his throbbing hand. It hurt like hell; With this new desk job, it's been a while since he kicked some ass; he forgot how refreshing the pain could be, how it had the ability to clear the fog from his head in a matter of seconds. "I could take dog for walks, and not have to come back home until much, much later; dog could be a friend; he could take my mind off things, -like the hopelessness of my marriage; my questionable career choice; or who Shikamaru is fucking tonight."
"For that, stupid boy.' Kyuubi had spoken sleepily, dryly, apparently still not completely gone. Huh. He did not even notice his presence, immersed in the misery of the moment. "You would need a lot more then just a dog."
Laughter had been a sad sound wrenched out of him but he laughed anyways, partially agreeing with the old bastard, and simply out of having nothing better to do.
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Bonds of time