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Dickless	By : TiaA Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1360 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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I personally can't think of any reason for Naruto being a girl. However, after reading a few great stories, wondering desperately about the one Jelp has teased us with, and then seeing something that caused my latest WTF moment, I decided that I had to write a Naruto is a girl fiction.

I got no plot. This is going to be humor. Dark humor with a catfight or two and Hinata questioning her sexuality but most importantly it will prove that Sai was right all along,

Naruto really is…

Dickless

Dickless—A Naruto Fanfiction

I do not own the characters portrayed in the story, nor am I making profit from this publication. This was written just for fun.

Please read, review, and enjoy.

Sean.

Part One

I

He had died on the operating table four times that night and each time she fought to bring him back all the while with horrified cries in her mind that thought it would be better to let him die. Valiantly or maybe it was her own cowardice she fought to save the life Konohagakure's no Sato's hero, with the memories all those she had loved and lost before, Tsunade, Fifth Hokage of Konoha, selfishly brought Uzumaki Naruto back from the end of his suffering to a new form of hell the young man never deserved.

She ignored looking down at the ruined body on the table. Those surgeons and nurses that could not stop gawking long enough to focus on saving the man's life she ordered out of her OR while blatantly refused to acknowledge what was happening to him round her blood-covered hands.

The flesh and organs continued to shift, shrink, rise, and fold as she stabilized and stopped the intense hemorrhaging that was once gushing out Naruto's lifeblood. At one point it had become too much for her to ignore and she was forced to halt the middle of her work to allow his body to complete its healing. It took twenty agonizing minutes then she would return to the work of bring him back to life and keeping him alive. Her selfish heart would not allow another precious one be torn from her again.

So she watched as his flesh folded and reshaped itself. Hard brown eyes never left the body on the table. She watched, she waited, and when it was done she went back to work. Tsunade did not allow her mind to think about what she had seen, it wasn't important. They would deal with it after Naruto woke up.

He would wake up by God or the Raikage would face the wraith of the last Sannin in all her rage. Kumogakure no sato would be reduced to a crater in the earth if Naruto did not survived.

She waved her team back in and they started to remove the clamps and sponges from Naruto's opened chest cavity. Once the rib spacer had been removed, the green healing chakra flowed from her hands as clumps of Naruto's hair was laid on the opened chest cavity and abdomen for a regeneration jutsu while Tsunade continued to feed chakra into Naruto's dying body.

What should have been a simple recon mission turned out be a kidnapping attempt turned assassination when Kumogakure tried to rebuild it demonic forces by taking Naruto. Naruto and his team of Genin were not enough to fight off the Kumoga nin and despite his skills, the Jounin was caught in a jutsu and Kyuubi no Kitsune was ripped out of Naruto to keep Konoha from having him.

Feeling eyes on her, Tsunade raised her tired gaze from the man on the table to the portal in the OR doors.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Tsunade now had to deal with explaining to the people of Konoha that they had their legendary hero back.

Really she was getting too old all for this shit. The Raikage was a cowardly bastard and now Kyuubi was out and the Fourth was alive.

And Naruto was…

She was still not ready to face that yet. There would plenty of enough time for explanations after Naruto woke up.

Outside the double doors stood a man who should not have been there. Namikaze Minato, the legendary Yellow Flash and Fourth Hokage of Konohakagure no Sato, watched his sensei's former teammate work on trying to save his son.

He ran a hand through his unbound shaggy blond hair in frustration, wishing that he could be in there or better yet that he had another one of those Kumoga nin in front of him to take his stress out on.

Seriously, what the fuck had happened? He remembered holding Kushina, both of their bodies being skewered on one of the demon's claws, as they said good-bye to their son. Kushina had been crying, she used what remained of her charka to try to hold Kyuubi and protect their boy. He had performed the (death seal) binding the physical form of the demon to him thinking that the best would never return. The creature's immense charka he sealed away in his son, with only leaving spiritual apparition of the fiend, thus making him useless to Madra and his schemes since only the demon's charka remained and that had been merging and converting into Naruto's own charka from the moment the seal was completed.

Now he was back. Naruto, his boy, had been gravely injured by the frustrated nin that allowed Kyuubi to go free. He honestly did not have a clue about what going on—too much time had passed, he was an old man in a young man's body and all he wanted to do was sit down.

This was most defiantly not supposed to have happened.

After what had felt like days, Tsunade and her team finally emerged from the operating theater. Her gaze fell on the blond hair man who seated on the floor watching her intently. Before he could speak the double doors opened again as four nurses came out pushing a bed that contained his son.

Minato was on his feet immediately and he rushed over to his side. The nurses had stopped when he approached after looking to their Hokage for askance.

Tsunade nodded, Minato was grateful. Tentatively he reached out to touch his son's face. It was blemished and small, his features sharp and overtly feminine. Yet Minato did not see this, he was seeing his son, his baby for the first time since the night of his birth.

With a helpless cry the powerful man almost when to his knees when he saw his boy.

"Naruto," his voice broke on a sob as his hand cupped his son's smooth cheek. "My boy."

She did not have the heart to tell him otherwise.

Yeah, this is a teaser chapter. So tell me what you guys think. do you like the premise or have enough with the Naruto as girl stories? (Not that its going to change my mind.)

Thanks.

Sean
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