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Be Selfish	By : radkoko35 Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1189 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters in it, and no money is being made from this story.

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I’ve been watching over him his whole life, and now what am I supposed to do?

It’s always been me and my brother, we aren’t blood related, but I was there since he came to the orphanage. Neither of us were wanted, I was too old, and him, I’m still not sure what it was, they just wouldn’t take him. Kids always picked on him, and for a while it pissed me off that he could just ignore it, even at the youngest of age he would just smile and still try to be friendly. I guess it was when I caught him crying one night that I really found out, I wanted to take care of him.

I’d been a little older when my parents died so understanding everything that went on around me was easy, not that anyone ever expected that I could understand all that. I’d had no one there to tell me that it wasn’t my fault, they just left me to be, so when I saw him cry that night I just wanted to give him something I’d always wanted, comfort. After that he grew attached to me, barely left my side and I grew to expect it. Less people picked on him when he attached himself to me, but it didn’t mean they were friendly. In fact when he grew closer, I lost a lot of my friends. They were stupid people anyway, I didn’t need friends, but I needed him.

It’s been quite a few years since then, we’ve both grown up quite a bit, I was able to get out of the orphanage when I was 16, and worked my best through school and whatever jobs I could get. I wasn’t able to take my brother with me at that time, but I always came back to visit him, as often as I could manage. When I was just a few years older, when I was able to prove my financial stability, I actually officially adopted him. I wanted him out of there as much as anyone else did, and this was the best way to do it.

So officially he’s my son, but our relationship is of two brothers raising each other. I helped him through school, as I worked my way through mine. I found my way into teaching, even leading myself to be his teacher for a while. I can’t even profess how proud of him I was when he managed to graduate. The two of us had made it through school and life, with the support of the other.

But here’s where it comes to the crux of the matter, he’s going away to college. Leaving me alone, not that he’ll be all that far away just a few hours, but after taking care of him my whole life, what am I supposed to do now?

“Be Selfish,” something that’s been told to me by so many parents. They would watch me take care of him, not really understanding the situation, but said it was my next step.

“Be Selfish,” My own brother says with his stupid fox grin, I can never go against that smile.

So I guess that’s my step to making myself a better person overall, to fill this hole within myself….be selfish….

I don’t even know the first step to being selfish! What kind of stupid, in-descriptive, nonsense is that…

Nonsense, that is, until I met him. He made me want him, made me find a way to make him mine. I guess that’s a little selfish, right?

~~~

Iruka sat down in the teachers lounge, it was the first day of school and he already felt depressed. Naruto had left for college about two weeks ago and he’d felt very lethargic since he’d last seen the boy. He still remembered the last words Naruto had said when he was about to drive off.

Iruka stood by the car as Naruto walked over to him, Naruto knew his brother would likely start crying before he left, he was just like any of the other parents leaving their kids at college for the first time.

Naruto came closer to his brother and hugged him as tight as he could, “You’ll be just fine without me, and I’ll try to call, but you know that I’ll probably forge,t so that’s going to become your job.” Iruka and Naruto both chucked a bit, knowing how true it was.

“Just promise me one thing Iruka,” Naruto said as he waited for a confirmation from Iruka, “Be selfish, just a little bit. You’ve been taking care of me for so long that you haven’t taken care of yourself, everyone needs to spoil themselves once in a while, so now’s your chance.” They gripped tighter just before letting go. Iruka kissed his brother on the forehead, as he did most nights before they went to bed, tears just barely welling up thinking about the 4 years that he wouldn’t be near his brother. He unlocked his door and got in the car. Rolling down the windows to wave one last time before pulling away.

“Remember, Be selfish!” Naruto said as he smiled his trademarked fox grin, and Iruka smiled back, “I’ll try” He said to reassure Naruto as he waved again, driving back towards home. Glancing back every second to watch Naruto disappearing in the rear-view mirror.

Last Iruka had checked there was still plenty of time before school was starting, so he didn’t really have anywhere to go. With Naruto having already away for college he had managed to actually get all of his pre-school paperwork done much earlier than usual. Iruka groaned frustrated with the day before it had even started.

“What’s wrong Sensei?” A voice asked, Iruka unable see who it was, seeing has he was currently hiding under his arms, but the voice sounded familiar. He assumed it was just Asuma, who of course knew everything that had been going on.

“I just don’t know what to do since Naruto’s left for coll-“ Iruka mumbled as he lifted his head up from the table to notice, not Asuma, but a new teacher he hadn’t met. The man had spiked silver hair, and didn’t look that much older than himself. His eyes were mismatched, but Iruka could guess that it had something to do with the scar that went down his left eye. The only part that he didn’t see was this man’s mouth, which was being hidden by the book the teacher was holding in front of his face.

Iruka jumped a little surprised to see the new teacher there. “I’m sorry I though I was talking to someone else…” He said kind of fading off, quite entranced by this person, thriving to know more about him.

“That’s ok,” the teacher said when he noticed Iruka wasn’t going to say more. “I’m Kakashi Hatake, the new Japanese language teacher, with a few history classes thrown in as well. Can’t often teach just one subject anymore.” He said smiling, or so it seemed of what Iruka could see.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Hatake.” Iruka said as he held a hand out to shake, “I’m Iruka Umino. I teach English.” Kakashi took the hand held out to him.

“It’s nice to meet you, and you don’t need to be so formal, I may teach formality with my students, but it’s not something that I keep up with co-workers. So just Kakashi will be fine,” Iruka just nodded not really sure what else to say, which didn’t stop Kakashi.

Just as Kakashi opened his mouth to speak again the bell rung, sending most teachers into panic as they rushed, gathering their paperwork before running off to class. Kakashi stood still through most of the madness while Iruka calmly got up from his seat, “May I ask what room you’re in Kakashi?” Iruka asked as he headed for the door, letting most of the crazed teachers through before him.

“I’m in 617, which I believe is that building,” Kakashi said as he pointed towards the left.

“Yeah that is, and you’re just across the hall from me. I’m in 616, would you like an escort to your room?” Iruka said as the two started walking towards the 600 building regardless.

“I would like that, thank you Iruka.” Kakashi said, as he put his book away. Turning towards Iruka, showed a smile that was irresistible.

~~~

At lunch later that very day, Iruka and Kakashi found their way to sit at the same table. By their side was Asuma and Kurenai, whom Iruka immediately introduced to Kakashi. “This is one of our other history teachers, Asuma, and one of the PE teachers, Kurenai.”

“Pleased to meet you both,” Kakashi said, before starting into his lunch.

“So the timeless question, How do you like it here so far?” Asuma asked, chuckling at himself.

“It’s interesting,” Kakashi replied, “I’ve been working with teaching other teachers over the last few years, so it’s interesting to work with students for the first time since my student teaching.”

“That seems a little different than what you’d expect. Why haven’t you worked with students for so long?” Kurenai asked between bites.

Kakashi thought for a moment, “Well I didn’t mesh so well with the students during my student teaching, they found I had too high of standards for most students, but they thought it was prefect for doing some furthered education of teachers themselves.” Kakashi said, “Of course I seemed to be the only teacher qualified for the openings here this year and asked me to try once again.”

Iruka was quiet through the story, fascinated with every little bit of information about this man. The talking went on through the course of lunch, Kurenai and Asuma asking about Kakashi’s life, why he chose these subjects, and pretty much anything else that came to their mind, while Iruka sat there storing away all the knowledge he was learning from this.

“Do you want to head back?” Kakashi asked Iruka, having not heard much from the teacher all lunch.

“Huh?” Iruka barely noticed he was now being talked to. “Yeah, sure. Lets go.” He said as he gathered his trash to throw it out as they left the teachers lounge.

Their trip stayed pretty silent, neither talking even as kids ran past them with their friends. The bell rang, waking Iruka up from the daze he seemed to have been in all lunch. They were almost back to their classrooms as Kakashi made a request of Iruka, “Would you be up to talk more after school?” Kakashi asked as he opened up his classroom for the students.

“Gladly,” Iruka said doing the same, “Sorry I wasn’t much company at lunch.”

“That’s ok, I was just wanting to know more about you, and that didn’t exactly happen at lunch like I’d planned. I’ll see you later.” Kakashi said as walked into his room preparing for afternoon classes. Iruka was struck still, his face glowed with a blush as he tried to get what Kakashi said out of his head. He knew he wouldn’t be teaching so well this afternoon, good thing it was only the first day of school.

~~~

After all the students had left that afternoon Iruka sat at his desk organizing the paperwork that he’d had them fill out during each period. He heard a soft knock at the open door noticing Kakashi in the doorway.

“Am I bothering you?” Kakashi asked as he stood there waiting for approval to enter the room.

“Of course not, come sit down if you want to,” Iruka said as he shuffled some papers to free space on the desk.

“I hope you don’t mind me being so forward, I just thought you looked like you needed someone to talk to this morning, and we didn’t really have time for it then.” Kakashi said as he pulled a chair over across from Iruka.

Iruka slowed down a little bit with his filing, but wasn’t really sure how to respond to Kakashi’s concern. “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t in the best shape this morning.” He said as he tried to laugh it off, as he remembered why he was so miserable.

“Well you were doing better, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Kakashi said worried noticing the instant change in the other teacher.

“Ohh, don’t worry about it too much,” Iruka said, feeling bad about worrying Kakashi, “What did you want to know?” He asked diverting the subject back to Kakashi.

“Well, I was kind of curious about what you’d said to me earlier. Of course you thought it was another teacher, but I listened regardless. You don’t seem old enough to have a son in college, so who’s Naruto?” He questioned, curiously.

Iruka blushed for a second, “Well, technically he’s my son, but he’s more of my brother,” Iruka explained poorly to Kakashi, “Well see, we grew up in the same orphanage, almost like brothers, and after I was 18 I officially adopted him so he could live with me. I’ve been taking care of him since he was about 3 though, and it’s hard now that he’s away for college. He ran off to follow his best friend there.” Iruka was rambling on about their story not exactly sure how to explain the unique situation.

“I see, so you miss him I can tell,” Kakashi smiled again, seeing the love that Iruka felt for his brother, without even meeting him. “Well it’s good for kids to get out and on their own. They often learn more from their mistakes and their situations than when they’re around those that will try to take care of them.”

“But I don’t know if he’s ready for that,” Iruka replied almost immediately.

Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle at Iruka, “Is it him or you that isn’t ready for it?”

Iruka puffed up his cheeks, not too happy with what Kakashi was implying. He stood up and was about to walk away when he felt Kakashi grab his wrist. “I wasn’t trying to upset you, but it is a common symptom among parents and older siblings that they want to always protect their children or younger siblings.”

Kakashi held on hoping Iruka would sit down and listen to him, “I’m sure he’s quite capable of doing things for himself, especially with a family like you. And now it’s time to let him handle himself.”

“I guess you’re right, it’s just hard, and he’s my only family so I don’t want to let go.” Iruka said biting his lip a little nervous.

“You know you should probably use it as an opportunity to take care of yourself as well.” Kakashi said.

Iruka was getting just a little peeved at everyone indicating that he needed time to take care of himself, “Why does everyone tell me that, I’ve been told to ‘be selfish’ so many times in the last month that I’m about ready to…mmm,” Iruka growled out.

Kakashi was a little surprised at the teacher for the change in behavior, but more happy that the teacher was expressing himself. “You’ve been taking care of not only yourself, but someone else, for what, about 15 years now. Of course people are going to tell you that.”

“I don’t even know how to be selfish,” Iruka said frustrated. He grabbed his hair tie and pulled it, out ruffling his hair to release some tension. Kakashi reached across the desk, grabbing lightly onto Iruka’s chin, as he thumbed his cheek.

“I don’t know you could fall in love,” Kakashi murmured, barely loud enough to hear. He smiled at Iruka as they stared at each other, but Kakashi pulled his hand away breaking their connection. “Or you could start with something much simpler, like treat yourself to dinner, or anything like that. I know some mom’s that are in similar situations go out to the spa or something of the sort. Probably not your thing, but you see what I’m saying.” Kakashi stood up quickly before apologizing, “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to head home. They did call me kind of suddenly for the job so I’ve still got to set up my apartment a bit before too much longer. I’ve enjoyed talking…” Kakashi paused for just a moment, “But hopefully we’ll talk more soon.” He was already halfway out the door before he even finished talking, and it didn’t take him long to get out of sight.

Iruka stupidly just waved bye, not really sure what had happened so suddenly. He felt like he’d said something wrong, except he really hadn’t said all that much.

Treat himself to something, that would be hard to do, there just wasn’t all that much for Iruka to treat himself to, and anything like a fancy dinner would be worthless without someone to share it with.

“Fall in love…” Iruka whispered. ‘It might already be set in motion,’ he thought as he remembered his reactions to anything about Kakashi the whole day through. Sometimes life worked out just right, especially for those that waited. Iruka smiled to himself as he packed up to head home.
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Be Selfish