On the Cusp of Night | By : rushlight Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Itachi/Sasuke Views: 1254 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
ON THE CUSP OF NIGHT
by, Rushlight
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Itachi/Sasuke
Rating: Adults Only
Warnings: incest, non-explicit shota
Spoilers: through the middle of Season 6
Summary: In the aftermath of episode 134 (it's really hard to come up with summaries that don't have any spoilers in them), Sasuke ponders the choices that have led him to this moment.
Author's Note: Many thanks to oropimp for beta-reading!! :D
It was interesting, Sasuke thought, how a life could come around full circle.
He remembered it like it was yesterday. Standing in the front doorway of his family's home, watching his brother kneeling on the edge of the porch sharpening his kunai. Such fierce concentration in the angle of that bowed head, the familiar lines of shoulder and arm moving rhythmically with whetting stone in hand. High-pitched screek of stone on metal, each of the materials wearing away one at the other. Sasuke had always found it interesting how in that particular battle, the metal grew sharper while the stone crumbled away to dust.
It had always been his goal in life to be metal, instead of stone.
He could still feel the sun beating down on him when he closed his eyes, the weight of it filtering down through the thin covering of the patio roof. The wooden floor was warm under his bare feet, worn virtually smooth by time and by the passage of generations of other Uchiha feet before his. The air was filled with the scent of the jasmine flowers his mother liked to grow in the front garden, chased through by the headier scents of the momiji and matsu trees that stretched down toward the edge of the lake.
No telling how long he'd stood there before Itachi finally sighed and looked up to meet his eyes.
"What's bothering you, little brother?" Itachi asked. There was a note of resignation in his voice.
Emboldened, Sasuke stepped forward out of the shadow of the house. "I was hoping you might want to train with me today."
He knew what Itachi was going to say before he said it. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. I'm too busy to train with you right now. Maybe tomorrow." He turned back to sharpening his knives.
Indignation fluttered inside Sasuke's chest. "Why do you always say that?" His fist curled at his side. "Why do you always act like I'm not good enough to train with you?" To his horror, he felt like he was near tears. In all the world, nothing could ever hurt him as much as his brother's rejection.
Itachi looked up at him again, surprise tightening the skin between his dark brows. "That's not true."
Sasuke was no longer in a mood to listen to his brother's excuses. He turned around to head back inside, his head hanging low.
"Sasuke, wait."
There was a sharpness in Itachi's voice that drew Sasuke up short. Slowly, he turned around to see his brother set the whetting stone aside, the kunai forgotten. Sasuke's breath hitched when Itachi held up a hand and gestured for him to come closer.
Almost against his will, Sasuke's feet drew him nearer to his brother as requested. He watched Itachi's hand warily, knowing what was coming next. His brother always did this, turned him down and then flicked him on the forehead, and he ducked his head away reflexively in anticipation. Itachi's hands were very strong, and he hurt Sasuke sometimes whether he intended to or not.
Sasuke closed his eyes when Itachi's fingers reached up toward his brow, but instead of the expected jab of pain, there was only a soft fluttering sensation as Itachi brushed his hair back off of his forehead. Sasuke's eyes opened again in surprise.
"Never think that you aren't good enough," Itachi said firmly. "For anything."
Sasuke stared at his brother in amazement. Sitting on his knees, Itachi was nearly the same height as he was. It made him seem less of a paragon and more like just a man, Sasuke's brother, giving him advice.
Sasuke smiled tentatively, feeling more warmed by those words than he was by the sun. "Okay. I won't."
Itachi continued to look at him, the impossibly dark eyes he'd inherited from their mother boring deep into Sasuke's, holding him fast.
"There's a reason I don't train with you," Itachi said, his voice little more than a breath ghosting across Sasuke's face. His fingers hovered over Sasuke's brow before drifting down to trail across his cheek.
Sasuke couldn't have looked away if he'd wanted to. His eyes were very round. "What reason?" he asked, just as softly.
It made him shiver when Itachi's hand slid down to close around the back of his neck, calloused thumb tracing up across his jaw. There was a strange reluctance in the way Itachi touched him, like there was something forbidden about it, although Sasuke couldn't understand why. Itachi was his brother, his family; why shouldn't they be allowed to touch one another?
"You don't understand the danger I am to you." There was something frightening about Itachi's expression now, something Sasuke didn't understand. "You shouldn't be alone here with me when Mother and Father aren't home."
Sasuke swallowed with an effort, steeling himself as he stared into his brother's eyes. "I don't care," he said with more bravado than he truly felt. "You're my brother... I want to be with you."
It was a surprise when Itachi leaned forward to cover Sasuke's mouth with his own. Sasuke breathed in sharply and tried to pull away, but the hand on the back of his neck held him firm. He gasped when he felt Itachi's tongue trace along the inside of his lips, flickering across the front of his teeth.
"Nii-san," he protested, reaching up to press his hands against Itachi's chest. He could feel his brother's heart beating against his palms.
Itachi leaned in to touch their foreheads together. His breath was warm against Sasuke's face. "Do you begin to understand, little brother?"
Sasuke's heart was pounding. He didn't understand anything except that Itachi was touching him, making him feel somehow hot and cold all at the same time. He'd always hungered for his brother's attention, his brother's affection.
"I'm not scared," he said, although he knew it was a lie.
If Itachi suspected he was being less than truthful, it made no difference in the events that followed. His hand tightened over the back of Sasuke's neck, and he leaned in to kiss him again. It was more forceful this time, possessive, his tongue pressing deep to explore the concavities of Sasuke's small mouth. The low mewling noises Sasuke made went completely unheeded.
That first time they joined together in Sasuke's own bedroom, stretched out on his bed underneath the steady thump, thump of his overhead fan. Sasuke could remember the hot summer air pressing hot and sticky against his bared skin, the weight of his brother's hands both relief and agony as they manipulated his body into the form that Itachi desired.
It was interesting, Sasuke mused, that of all the crimes he held accountable to his brother's name, he didn't count that violation among them. It had been his choice, after all, and even now he thought of it as the only time he'd ever truly felt his brother's love.
Love that had been an illusion all along, and that betrayal cut worse than any other. You aren't even worth killing... my foolish little brother...
He stared up at the daunting face of Orochimaru's fortress, curling his hands at his sides. The truth was, he'd spent his entire life doing as his brother asked on that fateful night. Hated him, despised him -- done everything he could to grow strong enough to kill him -- but it hadn't been enough. Even now, he was scrabbling to fulfill his brother's expectations of him, to live up to the role that had been laid upon him.
Avenger.
Why was he here? To give up everything he was -- everything he had -- for hatred, for power. Why? Orochimaru wanted him for his own purposes, that much was clear. If Naruto was to be believed, it was a desire to possess his body that drew the dark Sannin to him... which was ironic, all things considered. But it hardly mattered.
In his mind, he could still hear the echo of his footsteps on the darkened streets as he ran home, calling out the names of his parents... his aunt and uncle... all of the family he'd ever cared for and loved. Remembered panic squeezed at his heart, making him feel all of seven years old again, standing frozen underneath the weight of his brother's dismissive glare. He'd spent his entire life wanting to surpass Itachi, needing to surpass him, and now...
Nothing had changed.
He was who he was, and it just... wasn't... enough.
But it would be, someday. He would surpass Itachi, defeat him, and then maybe -- finally -- the ghosts haunting him would be laid to rest.
Pushing his memories aside, Sasuke strode forward toward the fortress gates, knowing he'd be welcomed when he arrived.
- The End -
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