breathe | By : Elli Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1118 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
breathe
The sun was sliding across the horizon in a slow caress by the time Sasuke made it to the hospital. Fatigue was absent from his features as he walked up the stairs, which was surprising considering the month long mission he had just returned from.
He had a surety about him, a sort of single-minded determination that, coupled with the stiff set of his body, compelled people to move out of his way. However, his steps faltered as he reached the door to the room he had been searching for.
The starchy material that his right hand was bound with itched irritably as he reached for the doorknob. He didn’t have to take the calming breath most did before they walked into a similar situation – he had grounded himself before he had even left his house. The hinges squeaked as the door opened, but the patient that occupied it didn’t turn his head.
The glow from the sunset bathed the blank white room a soft orange, and the figure that would have been most at home in the balmy light now seemed pale and withered in comparison.
Sasuke’s breath stilled in his lungs and the weight he had been carrying all day sank a little deeper into his soul as dim blue eyes met his.
“Naruto.”
A slow smile curled his lips, and Sasuke felt the ache down to his toes. If he had to define agony in that moment, he would recall Naruto’s smile.
breathe
“Teme,” his eyes formed little crescents as his smile widened. “You came.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t?” He stepped further into the room and paused, suddenly unsure of where Naruto wanted him.
“Sakura-chan told me you got back yesterday, but you didn't show up.”
Sasuke deemed a half shrug enough of a response, and walked up to the blonde until his knees touched the edge of the hospital bed. He closed his eyes briefly, unsure of what to look at. The starchy white of the sheets and Naruto’s hospital gown hurt his eyes, but looking at Naruto himself hurt his heart.
He swallowed hard and forced himself to meet his former teammate’s soft gaze. “How are you?”
“How do I look?” Naruto retorted, rolling his eyes expressively. “Like shit.”
“You don’t look any different,” he lied, fists clenching as he fought to keep the conversation on track. “A little less orange, maybe—“
Naruto’s rough, barking laugh pierced his ears and shook something inside of him. Laughter should never sound that way, especially not Naruto’s.
“Cut the crap, Sasuke,” he smiled, but there was a bitter quirk to his lips Sasuke couldn’t stand. “We haven’t bothered with chitchat for six years, don’t start now.”
Sasuke nodded stiffly and pursed his mouth into a firm line. He had never felt as discomfited with Naruto as he did now, and the realization wasn’t a pleasant one.
“Teme,” Naruto shook his head and sighed, correctly comprehending the set of Sasuke’s shoulders. He reached out and grasped Sasuke’s fisted hand in his own, before tugging gently, drawing the brunette onto the bed. “Come here.”
Sasuke allowed himself to be led, and settled on the edge of the bed, watching impassively as Naruto shifted his pillow to the side so both of their heads could be properly cushioned. This brought them in such proximity that every breath Naruto exhaled stirred the tiny hairs on his upper lip.
They were close. Too close.
breathe
The sun had dipped until only the very edge remained visible over the pane of the window. The last rays of light were so painfully bright that they made Sasuke wince, made him shift his focus from the sun in the sky to the one lying besides him in the bed.
He remembered the days when Naruto had been just as bright, if not brighter. Now he seemed like nothing more than a pale imitation and Sasuke felt the lack of life as if it was his own that was being leeched away.
“Sasuke.” A cold, callused hand just barely brushed his jaw before he pulled away, sitting up to escape the flawed touch. Wrong, he thought, so wrong. Naruto’s hands were never cold.
“What is it, Sasuke?” None of the false cheer permeated Naruto’s voice now. “Did… did baa-chan say something, o-or…”
Sasuke heard the uncertainty, but more than that, he heard the fear. The part of his soul that had always belonged to Naruto tore, rejoined, and tore again. “Do you know why I came back?” his voice was hoarse, as if from disuse, or the deepest kind of pain.
“What…”
“Do you know—“ he started again and turned to face Naruto, to take in the bemused expression that was no doubt on his face. He paused when he was met with nothing but quiet eyes. “Do you know why I came back?”
He expected a response something along the lines of, ‘What are you talking about, teme? You didn’t come back, I dragged your sorry ass!’, but Naruto continued to stare at him with eyes that had no right to be so blue, or so painful.
“It was you,” he hissed, a desperate sort of fury flooding him, “I came back for you and now, n-now—“
He broke off, horrified to hear his voice crack. You can’t leave me, he wanted to say. I am lost without you. He couldn’t force himself to speak the words, but something in the way Naruto cupped his face said he heard him anyway.
Their foreheads bumped softly and Sasuke let out a shaky sigh as Naruto spoke. “I’m right here.” he whispered, “Sasuke, look at me.”
He did, and Naruto exhaled into his mouth, a shared breath that made his heart thump painfully against his chest. “I’m right here.” Naruto repeated. “And you’re right here with me.”
in
“’sides, I can’t die.” Sasuke inhaled sharply, but Naruto just smiled, a stretch of his lips reminiscent of his shit eating grins. “I’m not Hokage yet.”
Sasuke couldn’t hold back a low chuckle at that, and Naruto snickered with him, bumping their noses together in a playful rub. Sasuke saw the grimace before he heard the cough, leaning forward intuitively to grab him as Naruto doubled over and hacked into the sheets, his too skinny frame shaking from the force.
He fisted the sheets in his hand, but couldn’t hide the blood leaking from the corner of his mouth.
Their eyes met and they shared a thought. Sasuke felt the smallest of smiles form on his lips, and knew Naruto had no trouble seeing the bitterness in it. He had gotten caught up, for a moment, in the blonde’s contagious optimism, but one thing Sasuke knew better than anyone else was that nothing could stop death – not even Naruto’s endless faith.
out
He shifted on the bed and pulled out a small, orange-tinted plastic bottle, and uncapped it. Two small white capsules fell into his palm, and he handed the half-empty glass of water on the sill to Naruto, who took it silently.
“Sleeping pills,” he said in response to Naruto’s questioning glance, and watched as he sighed and swallowed it down. His heart beat a crazed tempo in his chest, but he felt surprisingly lucid. Sasuke wasn’t one to dwell in denial for long. What was, was, and what had to be done… had to be done.
“Baa-chan give them to you?” Naruto murmured as he drank from the glass before handing it back. “They’re better than those horse-pills she made me take yesterday at any rate.”
Sasuke didn’t reply, turning his back to the blonde for a moment before placing both the pills and the now empty glass on the sill once again. He slid back into the bed and stared at the blank ceiling in the dimming light before Naruto nudged his shoulder and turned him on his side.
They were facing each other again, breathing slow and deep into each other’s mouths. Almost touching, almost… but not quite.
in
In the abandoned Uchiha complex a few miles away, the shrill ring of the phone startled the birds nested outside from an early slumber. The ringing was too loud, too much of a presence for the dusty, unused home, and seemed as out of place as the voice that came from it.
“Hello?” A woman’s voice, hurried, almost panicked.
“Sasuke, are you there? If you’re there, pick up, I… I called this morning, a-and, if you’re there. Sasuke. Please pick up, I… i-it’s about Naruto—“
out
Naruto’s eyes snapped open.
“No.”
Sasuke’s eyes were barely slits now, the strength of the pills bearing down on his mind and causing them to droop. His lips twisted into a half-hearted smirk at the expression on Naruto’s face.
“No,” he repeated, fighting the urge to rest his own eyes. “No, Sasuke, you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.”
“I won’t let you leave me.” A whisper against his lips, and Naruto felt hot, desperate tears slide down his cheeks as he realized. He hadn’t cried for years, but at the thought of this he couldn’t keep them at bay.
“No.” A sob, now, and he moved his hand with difficulty, fighting the lethargy settling into his limbs, and grasped Sasuke’s hand. “No, call.. c-call the nurse, tell her—“
“Shhh,” Sasuke let his eyes slide shut, and shifted over the scant centimeter that separated them. “Just… breathe.”
Naruto’s breath hitched softly into Sasuke’s mouth, something heavy and full inside him tearing at the feel of it. They shared a breath, once, twice, again and again, until the flood of Naruto’s tears collected at the corner of his mouth and Sasuke licked it away.
He wanted to say something, he realized. Something important, something he had to tell Sasuke before… before… his mind jolted in panic, but his eyes refused to open. It felt as if his entire body was numb, and his brain scrambled to think of a way to express… to tell him, please, to tell him… I love you…
Sasuke pressed a little closer, and Naruto felt him smile in the sweetest way. I know.
breathe
“Sasuke,” her voice snagged now, and a choked sound left her, “W-We tried everything, we… its, I-it can’t be cured,” her breath hitched once, twice. “Please pick up, I c-can’t do this again, please…”
A short pause, muffled sounds. A heavy sigh, then a soft, trembly voice.
“He doesn’t have much time left. He… He needs you h-here. Please…”
together
The message cut off abruptly, and an odd hush fell over the house. The rustle of the leaves faded with the wind and the birds forgot to chirp.
And a few miles away, as the last traces of the sun were wiped from the sky, two hearts slowed and stopped in unison, as if one.
breathe
A/N: This subject matter, whatever you choose to view it as, is very personal to me... too personal. It has been weighing down my mind for so long that I needed to distance myself from it, hence the creation of this fic. I would as always appreciate any and all thoughts. Critique welcomed, reviews loved.
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