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Home	By : Ljiljana Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 890 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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First, Naruto takes his shirt off.

He doesn’t know why he bothered to put it on in the first place, it’s not like he was going far away. He just did.

The sky is still dark except very low on the east, where the sun will rise soon.

The stars are pale. Pale, and dying.

The moon is down for a long time already; Naruto knows this because he was awake all night long looking at them. He was asleep for about an hour around midnight, until a nightmare woke him up. After that, there was nothing else to do but look up at the sky and wish he is home.

He then takes his sandals off, and lets the shirt fall on them.

Sand under his feet is cold. He curves his toes in it and enjoys the vision of little Gaara making the sand castle. Gaara’s red hair lightens in his mind and Naruto chases away the vision before he can recognize himself, before it can ruin his ritual.

Besides, this morning is different enough as it is.

Naruto walks slowly to the edge if the ocean and, not stopping, adjusts the flow of chakra in his body for the change of surface. The first step over the edge shows that the water is much warmer then sand.

The second one takes him completely of the little private beach he claimed for himself in the last couple of years and sets him free; of the beach into the sunrise and the next day.

This all happens fast, much faster then Naruto is comfortable with. He is not nervous, just impatient.

Sasuke hides his chakra well, but Naruto can smell him five miles away on a clear day like this one so that is unnecessary effort. Sasuke’s smell brings longing and hunger Naruto is afraid of.

After taking last deep breath, just in case Sasuke's an illusion, Naruto takes another step and Sasuke stays in the shadow of the big rock in the left part of the beach, where sand becomes mud and sharp stones.

There is only one star left on the sky and she is fading away.

Naruto walks straight to the direction of the sun. After about fifty feet he stops, and starts his morning routine.

He bows to the east first; it’s the closest side of the world here.

Stretching is awkward and tricky on the yielding surface of the water. Naruto likes that extra drive; it helps his chakra control considerably. He works on his neck, then arms, shoulders and back, he finishes with his feet.

Now, the fun parts.

Sun is already peeking on the horizon.

Naruto stands up and grins. Then he explodes in a series of movements; he goes through all of the standard techniques and fighting combos with the speed made of chakra. It’s just warming up, to make adrenalin in his blood high enough for something real.

In the next sequence, he works on the hits and kicks that are his own invention – he moves in erratic leaps and strides, allowing his instincts to decide where the blows will lend only moments before the time.

Not stopping – not even for a fracture of a second – Naruto lets his feet sink into the water. When his calves are wet, deepness is just perfect.

This is the hardest and the best part of his morning drill – chakra control has to be flawless so he doesn’t sink too low every time he has to support himself on something solid. Water splashes all around him. When he is sweaty and tired, and the sun is almost completely out, Naruto stops – freezes – in a middle of a kick.

He unleashes his chakra merged with wind. Every drop that is high in the air all around him, sparkling as crystal in the sunbeam, freeze as well.

Naruto unhooks a kusari-fundo from his waste.

It’s a chain weapon with steel weights on both ends and it was invented as a way of countering long-sword techniques; to practice using it you need a sparing partner with a sword. Naruto has his own ideas and methods.

He moves between the drops – slow and then faster and faster – holding the chain of the weapon with three fingers of both hands. Thumbs and index fingers he leaves free to reinforce the grip, or hold the weapon gathered in a wad or loop.

Effective footwork is crucial, so Naruto executes quick slashes and strikes maintaining the speed he developed. He uses kusari-fundo like a whip, with the striking power concentrated on the tip.

With deadly accuracy, Naruto breaks one drop after another and let them fall back in the ocean under him. By the time he completes the circle and the surface is peaceful once again, Naruto is wet and done for today.

Sasuke is still waiting.

Naruto fleshes a big grin in the direction of the rock – because Sasuke can see him, even if he can’t see Sasuke – and goes straight back to his cottage. He leaves the door open and those two together are invitation enough.

Sasuke is quieter then a butterfly behind him. It’s just a habit, a reflex, but Naruto hates it and he adds more force into his own steps to compensate for unnatural silence of Sasuke’s movements.

When Naruto prepares breakfast for two and turns around, Sasuke is sitting in his favorite chair. He wants to be mad and demand his place back but the words won’t come out.

Any words at all.

Sasuke looks like shit. He looks like Naruto did before he left Konoha. Naruto can’t see his face clearly, but he doesn’t have to; the over exhaustion is obvious even in the shadows from his banks.

Sasuke’s hair is longer then ever – but just as black and tick – and it's cover his wrists where he keeps his hands joined under his chin. That pose makes Naruto’s hands shake so he quickly leaves the plates on the table

Naruto then turns again and Sasuke lifts his head and stares back.

Sasuke wears a shirt that looks a lot like those he had when they were twelve; dark and insanely open in collar. They never once talked about it, but Naruto knows that’s because Sasuke can’t stand anything close to his neck – sharp blades and cloth alike.

In one flying moment – before he catches himself – Naruto wonders if that goes for teeth and if he should check it. But feeling much too young to die, he clears his throat and asks instead: “Did they send you, or you came on your own?”

“They've sent me.” Sasuke answers. Naruto is disappointed and hurt but that voice also uncoils something deep in him that was asleep for a long time. Busy concentrating on the breathing, he almost misses when Sasuke adds: “I asked them to.”

After some silence, Naruto realizes that Sasuke does not intend to explain himself so he demands: “What does that mean?”

Sasuke only says: “This dump is even worse then that thing you call your apartment.”

Naruto is angry. He opens his mouth to defend his cottage when he catches a little glance Sasuke throws on the beach outside through the open door.

He closes his mouth in wonder. Not because he realizes what Sasuke is saying – that they are still holding for him his apartment back in Konoha – but because Sasuke trusts him to get the massage out of that – insult.

“You can keep it. For vacations.”

Naruto feels almost flattered and very amused. It’s so like Sasuke to believe he will succeed where many others have failed, and Naruto laughs. He laughs like he didn’t for a very long time, since they were kids and he knew, for the first time in his life, that there is someone who cares.

Even now many care, many try, many fail. People come and then they go. Naruto stays. Sasuke maybe is deferent, he maybe is the only one who's will power matches he’s, but this life is not luxury for Naruto. It’s necessity born from desperation, because this far from home, nightmares at least fade like stars, with daylight.

Naruto’s laughter twists into low choking with a bitter edge. He doesn’t stop until his nose catches the change in Sasuke’s scent.

He almost gags on it; it’s lust.

But it means nothing, Naruto thinks, and finds it hard to inhale. And it doesn’t, not with Sasuke. The wall between them is too tick, made of years of longing and loneliness and something that is not quite betrayal, but hurts like it is. Naruto licks his lips and tries desperately not to make a hole in that wall with his head. It doesn’t mean anything, he assures himself.

When Naruto opens his eyes, Sasuke looks exactly like he did before Naruto started laughing. The expression on his face is the same – the one of distaste and boredom. He looks the same, but lust is like smoke that rises from his skin, rich and heavy, and makes Naruto’s mouth water.

Naruto doesn’t wear loose pants to hide his inappropriate reactions on people – that’s very rare anyway - but he is grateful they are on him right now.

It’s not fair. It’s the battle he lost many times in his mind, and it’s not fair that he has to lose it in reality, too.

“You left your things on the beach.”

That’s too much. Sasuke is looking at his feet, where some sand remained. Naruto is on half mind to kick him out and, frantic and scared, he dares to yell, to ask what he always wanted and never did: “Why? Why me?”

Sasuke’s scent shifts again. Naruto boots the leg of his favorite chair – don’t you dare feeling sorry for me, you bastard – and it falls apart but Sasuke is already on his feet and in Naruto’s face.

They are looking each other. Sasuke is far too close, far too real; Naruto is alone for far too long to stay angry with him so his voice drops and he is begging: “Why me?”

When Sasuke doesn’t answer, Naruto’s voice is just a whisper, because he just can’t get enough air into his lungs: “You wasted your time. I’m in a shity mood, so get lost.”

Sasuke jerks and his eyes widen.

“I’m not done yet.” He says; Naruto believes him. Sasuke doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean, not for his own sake and not for anyone else’s. So when he adds: “I’m not going back without you.” Naruto’s chest is in flame and he has to turn, if he wants his oxygen. “And you are in a shity mood for years.”

That can mean two things: Sasuke intends to find a cure for what ever is that bothers Naruto and keeps him away from home, or to stay here forever.

Both are impossible.

Naruto smiles – a big, fake smile Sasuke sees right through, but says nothing – and goes to wash out sea salt and gets ready to fix the roof to an old man's house in the nearby village, as he promised.

Sasuke follows him.

The sky and the ocean were never quite this blue and bright. Naruto puts his hand over his eyes too many times, but he can’t chase it away. His head doesn’t exactly hurt, it’s just heavy and full.

They work together in perfect synchronization, like they spend every day of they lives fixing old rooftops.

Naruto finds every possible way and angle to watch Sasuke and thinks about what he said. He wants to believe it was a promise – it sounded like a promise – but he is too tired and too confused to work through everything that those words could have meant.

When sun gets unbearably hot, Naruto removes his shirt.

Sasuke leaves his on.

Naruto struggles not to call him a sadist; it’s a real torture he can’t steal a proper look. He is very trusty and drinks a lot of water.

On the lunch break Sasuke talks to the owner of the house. Naruto listens, fascinated. It’s not that he doesn’t know Sasuke is capable of normal conversation, he does. But it’s still a wonder that he is, so Naruto listens.

He then remembers Sasuke never talks to him like that, and he is jealous.

It is a ridicules thing to be the one to make him open his mouth. Absurd. But when they are up on the roof again, Naruto starts talking and he can’t stop.

He doesn’t like talking about himself. He feels selfish, like a small, spoiled brat. But this is good. It’s good because there is no trace of sympathy in Sasuke’s expression.

Naruto tells him about his nightmares. He tells him what it’s like to be a monster, how it feels to be a puppet for the monster to kill everything you ever loved and exactly how heavy Sakura’s corpse is.

He has a feeling he is telling a tale Sasuke knows well and from experience. Not even that stops him.

When Naruto finishes they are sitting across from each other. This is probably his last chance to find out, so he asks: “Why do they want me to be the Hokage?”

“We need one.” Sasuke says, looking at Naruto with suspicion in his eyes.

“Well, yes. But isn’t there someone else? Someone who’s not as… risky as I am?” The word is dangerous, not risky. The knowledge settles between them without explanations.

Sasuke is thoughtful for a while, like he needs to think about something that never occurred to him before. Then he says: “It was a consensus, Naruto.” Naruto tries not to shiver from the softness and tenderness that composed his name in Sasuke’s voice. “Konoha’s instinct in naming the leader was flawless through five generations, I don’t believe they are mistaking now. Don’t you want to be the Hokage anymore?””

It’s not something Naruto needs to think about: “Of course I do!”

“Then what exactly is the problem? Aside from nightmares?”

“I can’t get enough sleep to function properly, you know that.” Naruto messed up many times before he gave up and moved out from Konoha. “No, that’s not right… I’m too afraid that things from my nightmares will really happen to function properly.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” Sasuke says. It would sound stupid from anyone else, but Sasuke knows what he’s talking about. It’s his heritage. “And Sakura is working on the nightmares problem.”

“Well, when she finds something, I’ll come back.” He says ‘when’ and not ‘if’. He has to try to believe in that. To lighten the mood, he jokes: “It might be worth going back only so I can order you around.”

Sasuke doesn’t react the way he is supposed to. He lowers his head and narrows his eyes, as if imagining how would that work. His banks are falling into his eyes again. Naruto wonders how doesn’t he trip over his own legs and reaches, not thinking.

His fingers are all the way behind Sasuke’s ear, where he tries to get one wild strand to stick, when he realizes what he’s doing. The skin under his fingers is warm. Naruto likes it, and doesn’t move.

Sasuke lifts his head and looks back at him. His face is expressionless; he just seems tired. Naruto hates it, he hates desperately the thing Sasuke became with years and he deals with it the only way he knows; by provoking.

Very deliberately, he lets his fingers slide down Sasuke’s neck.It’s a dangers game, both because Naruto really wants to touch Sasuke and because you never know how exactly will he react. Naruto still presses, and waits.

He expects a reaction – an explosion – but Sasuke simply closes his eyes and leans into touch. His skin glows against sunlight, fair and clean. His lips are open and moist; the only thing on Sasuke’s face with enough color to be called healthy.

Naruto is fascinated and makes a small circle with his thumb. Sasuke – after a short fight that he sorely loses – makes a sound, but it’s low, much too low, so Naruto rubs the soft skin with his fingers again and adds nails to leave trace.

Sasuke’s eyes jerk open and Naruto is dizzy from the promise in them. He was denying even fantasies to himself for a very long time. Now every desperate fight he was avoiding comes crashing back at him, and Naruto’s insides ache with need.

I have no right to do this Naruto panics, and gets up on his feet. He turns his head completely, because he can’t afford to see Sasuke’s face right now, not so soon. It’s awkward, or at least he feels awkward and physical labor is the best distraction available.

Therefore, he goes back to work. After a bit, Sasuke joins him without a single word or look. Afternoon is long and slow. When the dark finally comes – after a brilliant explosion of colors in sunset – Naruto feels emotionally exhausted.

The owner of the house keeps them for dinner. Naruto promises to come back tomorrow to finish the job.

Back at the cottage, Sasuke makes room for himself in Naruto’s bed.; there is nothing else for him in the small space. Naruto thinks he should make him sleep on the floor, but he is too tired and too unhappy, and he wants Sasuke close. Even in the most platonic way.

“Look at me.” Sasuke orders in the dark. His voice is clear and all business.

When Naruto obeys, after pushing away first impulse to argue, Sasuke’s eyes are glowing red. Naruto shudders when something sleazy creeps into his mind, but doesn’t break contact.

“Sleep.” Sasuke says. Naruto closes his eyes.

* * *

When Naruto wakes up he feels rested, his ceiling is vividly yellow from the sun that already came up and Sasuke is messing around his little kitchen, and he doesn’t know what was is it exactly from those three that is making him so happy.

The ocean is chanting in that peculiar way it always does when a storm is coming. Naruto loves storms, he always did. When he was a kid, he always climbed on the monument over Konoha when one would come, because the wind was strongest there.

Feeling light as a feather, Naruto jumps from the bed.

Maybe it was a fluke; maybe the fact he slept through the night didn’t have to do anything with whatever Sasuke did last night but Naruto doesn’t care for the moment. He feels good, he feels great and he will make the best out of it.

“I slept all night.” He announces loudly. “I feel great!”

Sasuke puts two plates on the table.

“I can see that.”

“What did you do to me?” Naruto asks taking the first bite.

Sasuke starts a bit and keeps quiet, but when Naruto keeps watching him like he’s expecting to hear all secrets in this world he snaps: “What do you think?”

Naruto is too happy this morning to be put out by this irrational behavior. “How would I know? I can’t get into other people’s heads.”

Sasuke is obviously mad at him about something. His eyes are narrowed and furious.

Naruto rather likes it.

“I disconnected the part of your brain that creates dreams. It is very unhealthy on the long run.”

“But it worked!”

“It’s something we came up with, until Sakura finds better solution.”

Naruto remembers Sasuke’s red eyes in the dark clearly. He can’t help it, he has to ask: “So you did that before? On who?”

Sasuke grids his teeth so hard, Naruto can hear them turning to dust.

“You were much less annoying yesterday morning.” Sasuke says. “And stay away from my neck.”

Sasuke has no reason to ask that, Naruto had no intention of going anywhere near his neck. Well, he showed no signs of it anyway.

That was an invitation, wasn’t it?

Naruto gets up, and steppes around the table and Sasuke’s chair. Sasuke eats his breakfast and ignores him completely. That will work just fine.

Resting his hands on the back of the chair, Naruto leans and licks the part of skin low on Sasuke’s neck that is not covered with hair. He wishes he can see Sasuke’s face, but Sasuke is perfectly still and looking straight ahead.

Naruto moves his hair and licks again, longer and stronger. He leaves wet trail and then blows the air on it.

Sasuke makes same sound as yesterday, as if feather tickles the back of his throat.

If he wanted Naruto to stop, it was a very, very wrong thing to do. Lightheaded from the smell of his own shampoo in Sasuke’s hair, Naruto bares his teeth and sinks them into the soft flesh.

The sound Sasuke makes is louder. Definitely sexual.

He turns his head around and they are now looking each other, Naruto with a satisfied smile of an accomplished individual and Sasuke with something else in mind. Neither one is moving away, or moving closer for a moment. Sasuke’s hair tickles Naruto’s nose.

Sasuke reaches with his left hand up and tangles his fingers roughly in Naruto’s hair, in an awkward, upside-down way. The staring lasts for couple of more breathless seconds.

Then Sasuke jerks him suddenly closer and their mouths are flat against each other.

It’s not a kiss; Naruto is too surprised – he shouldn’t be, he heard and produced those kinds of noises before, he knows what they mean, but this is Sasuke – and Naruto is way too surprised to react.

It can only last for so long, because Sasuke is impatient. He sucks Naruto’s lower lip into his mouth, and bite hard enough to draw blood.

Naruto’s brain catches up.

He moves away for a fragment of second to wipe up his healing lip, and then leans back in. Sasuke’s mouth is already open and moist – like yesterday, like they were yesterday, Naruto thinks and licks them anyway.

That first taste is salty, the way everything is so close to the ocean. Naruto wonders how Konoha tastes, so he tilts his head and pushes his tongue into Sasuke’s mouth. He is aware of just two things; that it never occurred to him to look for home in someone before, and this is Sasuke, so why the fuck didn’t he try this before?

Sasuke kisses back without a pause. He keeps Naruto close and presses hard, but his tongue is – not shy, but light and careful. He kisses the way you would hold a butterfly; desperate to be gentle and always too forceful anyway.

Naruto closes his eyes to enjoy it properly. And why not? He has been waiting for this his whole life, and Sasuke’s tongue is much softer that he ever dared to expect. It is Konoha, in a way. Because it feels just right, half way between dangerous excitement and peace that will come.

Eventually, Sasuke loosens his grip. Naruto tugs on his pants – they are both shirtless – to rise from the chair. Sasuke gets up not breaking the kiss. He keeps his left hand in Naruto’s hair; his right one is on Naruto’s chest.

The touch is not warm or cold, it’s simple pressure on his skin.

Simple pressure of Sasuke’s skin against his.

All those fantasies and dreams, and Naruto never expected Sasuke’s dump palm to feel like branding.. He craves more and reaches. In the brief moment before his arms are wrapped around Sasuke’s waist he wonders if he would be eager enough to let just anyone to do this to him. Fortunately, Sasuke’s chest is much warmer then his hand and that destructs him.

Jealousy is a very bad thing for Naruto, worse then sorrow, worse then rage. It’s not something that happens often but it brings him mile closer to madness every time it does. And it’s only like that about Sasuke, nothing else compares.

When the kiss finally ends, Naruto is quite content with Sasuke’s blazed eyes and pink chicks. He wants to hear him making sounds again so he traces line of Sasuke’s cheekbone and then his neck with his tongue.

Sasuke curls his fingers in Naruto’s hair and on his chest and doesn’t disappoint him. Then he says something in a voice to quiet to compete with the sound of the crashing waves outside, but Naruto’s ears work impeccably and he catches it: “Come back home with me.”

The bitterness chokes Naruto. When he opens his mouth, what comes out is a twisted and acid excuse for words: “Are you people this desperate?”

He feels the pain long before Sasuke’s fist connects with his face.

* * *

Naruto drinks water all day long, one glass after another and then directly from the faucet. It’s not enough. He is still thirsty.

He feels like an idiot.

Even for a guy that never bothers much with words, Sasuke is unusually quiet. Silent. He moves again in that soundless way Naruto hates.

He is also deadly calm.

Sasuke’s silence is as heavy as soil on the graveyard, as if he buried every proof he is alive under it. Naruto hums. It is silly, it is annoying even to him but he hums because he doesn’t know what else to do.

The owner of the house they were fixing the roof on changed his opinion on Sasuke. From chatty, like yesterday and when they arrived this morning, poor man went to very scared and silent in less then two seconds. It’s how long Sasuke took his eyes away from that very interesting thing that was in front of him all day long to look at him.

If Naruto himself isn’t angry and horny, he would find it funny.

People are always afraid of Sasuke, and Sasuke probably has the lowest count of dead bodies on his couscous in the history of Konoha as the Hidden Village of the Fire Country.

It’s the intensity in his eyes. It’s that he looks first at your hands and then at your face.

Naruto believes he's in love for years. He wants to go home. He wants the job. He wants many mornings like this one.

He wants to hear Sasuke’s voice.

They make no pause for lunch today. It’s windy and the ocean heaves. Naruto catches a fleeing glance Sasuke throws in his direction by accident. Sasuke is angry, but he is also hurt. And he's feeling betrayed.

Naruto walks behind him and Sasuke flinches.

And so Naruto learns to appreciate the wonder of what happened that morning. Sasuke had spent years in, almost literally, snake’s lair. He is not twitchy, not where you can catch him but he doesn’t trust anyone to stand behind him like Naruto did this morning. He doesn’t trust anyone to be close to him at all.

Naruto remembers everything Sakura was telling him. He believed her, of course he did. But Sasuke appeared here yesterday and acted normal so Naruto forgot.

He remembers now and he needs to prove he was – is – worth the trust Sasuke gave him.

Sasuke is on the very edge of the roof and watches olive tree next door with dislike. Naruto stands exactly behind him and waits.

When he is sure there would be no sharp objects flying in his direction, Naruto dares to come closer. Sasuke turns his head a little, but not enough to look back. Naruto can’t go for the neck – not now. He rests his forehead on Sasuke’s left shoulder instead.

“I’m sorry.” He says, and stops breathing from the fear he'd miss something.

Sasuke finds his hand with one of his own and squeezes shortly and the world is in focus again.

When the roof is finished, it’s almost dark again. The owner asks them to stay again for dinner. Naruto says no. He wants to go back to cottage. He wants to say aloud everything that was on his mind today.

The wind is even stronger now. It blows in their backs with crushing force while they are walking along the beach. Naruto feels it’s bitterness on his skin and in his blood. He believes that if he doesn’t find something to hold him down, he will end up flying.

So Naruto grabs Sasuke’s wrist.

Sasuke lets him. When the first lightning cuts through the storm, Sasuke turns to look at Naruto. His eyes have more force in them then thunder that follows.

Naruto suspects Sasuke feels a lot like him right now; charged and stimulated. He tightens his grip.

When they arrive to the cottage, Sasuke goes inside first. He shuts the door to make a barrier against the distracting hurricane outside, and then shoves Naruto against the door. He is needlessly forceful, as if he actually expects resistance. Naruto understands what exactly their position insinuates only after Sasuke spreads his legs to make space for himself, but he is too caught between the power of the wind that wails behind him and the warm body next to his own to care.

Sasuke still holds that electric intensity in his eyes.

There is nothing careful or desperate about their kiss now. It’s not unknown territory any longer. Naruto closes his eyes, simply because he doesn’t have to keep them open to see. Sasuke holds him close; so close they both have trouble breathing.

When they break apart for a moment, Sasuke says:

“Come back home with me.”

Naruto realizes it’s the first time Sasuke opened his mouth since that morning, only to say exactly the same thing. He thinks he knows the answer, but he still asks to be sure: “For this?”

“For this.” Sasuke promises. And he never lies. “For me.” He adds.

“In the morning.” Naruto answers. His voice is lost in Sasuke’s mouth.

Naruto kisses back and navigates them to the bed.

They have quite a few hours to kill until morning, when Naruto can finally – finally – go back home.
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