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Kyuubi the Bitch	By : Lechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3774 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
A.N. Okay so, this came to me as I was reading some
fanfics. I haven�t read very far passed the chunin exams, so if things are off,
I am sorry. Anyway, I have been a little obsessed with Sasu/Naru and them
somehow having babies, and then this came to me. So hope it�s as amusing as it
was in my mind.� His story takes place
sometime after the Chunin exams, and after Tsunade is put in charge but before
Itachi showed up. Kay?

Disclaimer: Orochimaru
made Sasuke steal the rights from me� *Sigh* then the bastard returned it to
the rightful owners as a way to keep himself in the manga later� too bad his
chapter�s already been written.
(I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters in it)

Kyuubi the Bitch

Naruto

Chapter one: It Always Comes
in Threes

�� He was certain he would never hear the end of this one.
The dank cave thankfully didn�t reek of excrement, but it did have the rank
nastiness of an animal�s den, which was exactly where he was.
�� Well this sucks�� Naruto cursed, no longer interested in
the fruitless struggles and screaming that had brought him nothing but echoes
and more annoyance. �� fucking fox�� Naruto felt the heat in his cheeks, which
still refused to subside from his more than pathetic predicament, and growled
low in his throat.
�� A strangled sigh escaped his chapped lips and the blond
smacked his face into the stone with a whimper as more disturbing thoughts came
to his mind. �Damn it, that Teme will never let this go!� And wasn�t that the
truth.
�� After all, what kind of shinobi let himself get captured
by a worthless fox anyway? Of course he�d heard of foxes being tricksters and
some demons, and he very well couldn�t deny that fact when he had living proof
inside of his head and its curse seal on his belly, but he doubted anyone from
his group would buy that excuse. Sasuke and Sakura didn�t even know he had the
Kyuubi in his body yet. For that, he was very grateful. Last thing he needed
them knowing about was that vicious bitch.
�� Yes, bitch. Despite popular belief, the demon fox inside
of him was none other that a bonified female catastrophe, and he would know,
she was inside his head after all. Not to mention the mood swings he had once a
month which Sakura had so gracefully dubbed as �Uzumaki PMS,� Sasuke never got
tired of that one.
�� The dark haired prick might never smile, but that smirk
was all Naruto needed to see to know that the Uchiha had found his nickname
very amusing, but the day he used it was the day Jiraiya turned gay. Which was
exactly why Naruto was desperately dreading his rescue.
�� Not because Jiraiya might actually turn to the other
side, but because though Sasuke may not say the words �Uzumaki PMS,� he�d
definitely have quite a lot to say about his stupidity, patheticness, and
whatever else he could come up with when they saved him from the annoying red
animal that had dragged him from their camp the night before and had somehow
managed to paralyze him in its cave.
�� Damn it, I can just see his smug face smirking at me.�
Naruto hissed his anger growing at the mental image he received even as he
pitched his voice to a lower register that closely mimicked the Uchiha heir.
�Oi, Dobe, was the little fox too much for you to handle on your own?
Usuratonkachi.�
�� Grit teeth ground together as Naruto cursed more
vehemently, his ire returned giving some feeling back into his fingertips. �Teme�
I�ll show you who�s weak and pathetic�� of course his threat was a little less
believable even to his own ears when he thought of the looks he�d receive from
the other two members of team seven.
�� Sakura would be embarrassed to be on the same team as him�which
hurt even though he�d grown used to her disregard�and Kakashi�
�� Damn it� I let him down again�� Naruto grew quiet with
inner hurt and anger focused on himself. Insults, detest, and disbelief he
could handle. Disappointment he could not.
�� No one ever expected anything from him, so when someone
put faith in him, he wanted to prove that he was worth their time. This was the
second time, he�d let Kakashi down, and somehow he felt that was also letting
Iruka down, for it was his academy teacher that believed he could make it in
the first place.
�� when that bloody fox gets back here I�ll fucking kill
it!� Naruto growled, once again pissed and started struggling harder. He was
certain he must have looked rather amusing to any who might see him, what with
his body flopping around like dead weight while he cursed and growled doing
nothing but inflect more injury to himself, but he honestly didn�t give a shit.
�� I. Will. Not. Be. Saved. Like this!� Naruto
screamed out, somehow managing to force himself back up onto his hands and
knees, his limbs quaking and feeling a little like rubber, but at least he was
up. All right! Now all I have to do is get out of�
�� The slight scuffing sound by the entry way drew his
attention up from his success and toward the bright red fox that had just
re-entered, a dead rabbit in its jaws. Naruto blinked as the fox took in his
appearance, and for a second he thought the little bastard would attack him,
but it seemed the animal had not intended to eat him as it simply dragged its
kill before him and laid it at his feet.
�� What the hell? He think I�m his kit or what? Naruto
wondered as he stared at the dead animal. The fox made a cooing sound, and when
Naruto looked up, he found the fox staring back at him expectantly. Naruto
swallowed thickly as he looked back down at the raw meat, his stomach flopping
over in disgust. He can�t be serious! Why the hell is it trying to feed me?!
Damn it, it�s all Kyuubi�s fault! Naruto thought, wishing he could beat up
the spirit inside of his body, but the demon seemed untouchable.
�� A part of him wished to call out to the beast and see if
she knew what the fuck was going on, but from the brief time he had spoken to
the fox, he�d learned it was best for his sanity that they didn�t communicate.
The memories in the Wave country were not fond ones for him.
�� The soft whine came again and Naruto forced a chuckle,
smiling at the fox. �Thanks, but I�m really not hungry.� His voice
caused the animal tilt its head, then push the meat closer. A heavy sigh escaped
him then, and Naruto again wished that he had some muscle control. �Damn it�
why is it always me?�
�� The wet heat of a tongue on his mouth made Naruto jump
and look up as the fox continued to clean his face. The beast moved from his
mouth to his right eye forcing the blond to close them to keep from getting
hurt. �Ack! Stop it you stupid�� Naruto was hit with the tip of the tail, as
the fox rubbed against him pushing his face closer to the meat.
�� Naruto managed to tilt his head at the last moment avoiding
having his nose rubbed in the bloodied caucus. �For the last time you stupid
animal! I�m not you�re damn kit, and I ain�t�� A choked whimper escaped
Naruto�s throat then as it suddenly became clear what the fox thought he was,
and he clearly blamed his inner curse for it.
�� The filthy little animal had just mounted him�of course
he was safe and fully clothed, but just being in the position made his skin
crawl. He thinks� thinks I�m�
�� Aww, hell no! I ain�t gonna be your bitch!� Naruto cried
out, quickly allowing his arms and legs to buckle out so that he could fall to
the ground, but it seemed that hardly fazed the horny, and rather confused
beast as it continued to try and ride him.
�� Well, this is unexpected.� The droll voice made Naruto
feel sick as embarrassment once again flooded his cheeks in color.
�� Ewww, that�s just sick!� The soft feminine voice was
like a dagger to his heart as he could easily picture the expression on his
first crush�s face.
�� Will you guys help me?!� Naruto snapped, his eyes
clenched shut so that he didn�t have to see the look of disgust on Sakura�s
face, or whatever might have been on Sasuke�s or Kakashi�s.
�� You need help?� Sasuke�s taunt was well placed, and had
Naruto been able to move he would have made him eat those sickening words, as
it was he could only snarl out his own insult.
�� Unlike you, teme, I need to be drugged before I�ll rut
with stray animals.� The shocked gasp from Sakura was the only sound made as
Naruto finally opened his eyes meeting livid red. Great, the Sharingan� well
at least now he�ll be able to see whatever is keeping me paralyzed.
�� Naruto thought, just as the fox jumped off of him to
stand between his friends and himself, snarling. Naruto felt a vein pop.
�� Damn it! I ain�t your bitch, someone get rid of that
thing please?!�
�� Sasuke didn�t even look at the fox as he lifted it up and
threw it into the woods before stalking over and lifting Naruto up supporting
his weight over his shoulder.
�� Stupid Dobe. How is it you got poisoned by a fox?� His voice
sounded bored, but his body was still tense, most likely from the insult, and
Naruto was suddenly glad that he was unable to fight. If Sasuke was anything
else, he was proud and beating up a weak, injured person was not his style.
�Now, we�re late.�
�� It�s not my fault! That damn fox nabbed me in my sleep,
how was I supposed to escape?!�
�� A shinobi should be able to sense all his surroundings
even in his deepest sleep.� Sasuke muttered as he lead Naruto passed Kakashi,
and Naruto pouted a little more.
�� Yeah, well I didn�t see you waking up last night�� The
hit to the back of his head tingled and Naruto couldn�t help but wonder just
how strong that fox was if the numbness had extended to his scalp.
�� Naruto, move your feet or I�ll drop you.� Sasuke threatened
menacingly. Glancing at the dark haired boy, Naruto glared, wondering if it
would be wise to admit that he couldn�t feel his limbs. Pride won out in the
end and kept him silent, choosing to look like a pain in the ass instead of a
gimp.
�� Sasuke�s dark eyebrow rose and Naruto turned his head
away at the threat. He wouldn�t dare�
�� Naruto cursed at his sudden collision with the forest
floor, less then pleased when he didn�t feel the pain he knew he should have
felt from the impact. �Damn it, Sasuke! What the hell was that about! I�m
injured you ass!�
�� Hn.� The typical smirk was back, making his insides
squirm with angered annoyance.
�� Teme��
�� A shadow fell over his prone form and Naruto looked up,
squinting his eyes against the glare of the sun, which outlined the body of his
Jounin teacher. Kakashi had thankfully put his book away and was leaning over
Naruto with a contemplative expression in his one visible eye.
�� Again, Naruto promised himself that he would one day
remove that mask and see just what lay beneath, as his teacher let out a long
heavy sigh. The exhalation made Naruto flinch slightly, a little fearful of
what that sigh meant.
�� no choice I guess.� The silver haired man mumbled and
Naruto looked up at the lack of a condescending tone.
�� Huh?�
�� Kakashi just ignored him and tossed the scroll they�d
been assigned to retrieve from a neighboring outpost to Sasuke. �Carry this,
and this time don�t drop it.� Kakashi�s statement seemed to make Sasuke annoyed
as his eyes narrowed just slightly while he caught the parchment.
�� Hn.�
�� Naruto lifted an eyebrow, wondering why Kakashi was
giving his crutch something else to carry when he was suddenly hoisted into the
air. �Wah!�
�� Right, so let�s get going, Tsunaide doesn�t need another
reason to lecture you.�
�� Hey! She�s not always lecturing me!� Naruto tried to
defend himself but only received blank looks from all present. �Humph.� He
snorted, it really was useless arguing with them.
�� So, how did it do that?� Naruto asked, after they�d been
walking a while and it seemed that the fox wouldn�t be trying to retrieve him.
�� Huh, do what?� Kakashi questioned, shifting Naruto�s
weight a bit. Naruto was just grateful that his arms had enough strength to
allow him to ride piggyback, last thing he needed was to be carried like a baby
in front of Sasuke and Sakura.
�� Although he liked the fact that he was still small enough
that Iruka could do it once in a while, and he�d never admit out loud how
comforting it was to have someone baby him like that, but he didn�t need his
teammates making more comments on his height. That fox thing will be bad
enough�
�� Immobilize me.� Naruto explained, trying to get a peak
down the front of Kakashi�s mask, but it was no use.
�� Oh, that.�
�� Naruto rolled his eyes. �Yes, that!� Sometimes he
wondered if Kakashi ever really listened when they spoke to him, and from the
way Sakura gave the silver haired man a small glare, Naruto was sure she
wondered the same.
�� Well, it is spring time, so its natural to see animals
out searching for mates.�
�� The snort of laughter came from the back of the Uchiha,
and though Sakura and Kakashi looked at the dark back in slight surprise,
Naruto glared daggers, whishing that that arrogant ass would spontaneously
combust. Despite popular belief the Uchiha did have a personality, one that
seemed to only come out when Naruto was the butt end of some joke, and that
personality was utterly evil, or so Naruto believed.
�� Oi, you have something you want to say to me, date
bayo?!� Naruto yelled, feeling Kakashi flinch under him as the loud sound
passed directly by his ear.
�� Sasuke didn�t respond further than a smirk over his
shoulder, and Naruto felt his entire body tremble with his suppressed rage. That
son of a bitch! I�m gonna� I swear one day I�ll�
�� Teme!!!� Naruto screamed out only to have himself
jostled harshly, nearly biting his tongue off.
�� Being as such,� Kakashi continued as though nothing had
happened, and successfully defused the brewing fight between the two boys. �the
male foxes in this area have a potent spray that can paralyze the female of its
choice giving the male a chance to impress it and thus gain a chance to
reproduce.�
�� An image of the dead rabbit came to mind and Naruto made
a sickened face. Right, impress me with a massacred rabbit� ugh! If it
really wanted to impress me it should have brought back some Ichiraku ramen!
Naruto thought detestfully.
��So,
why the hell was it trying to mate with me! And why was I affected by its��
Suddenly Kakashi�s words fully caught up to him and Naruto went deathly silent
and pale.
�� Naruto?� Kakashi asked, the first to notice Naruto�s
change, and soon the group had stopped to regard the blond who felt like his
entire world had simply stopped spinning.
�� Naruto?� Sakura asked, reaching out a hand but was
stalled as Naruto found his voice, and quickly became animated once more.
�� You mean that damn thing PISSED on me?!�
�� Sakura jerked her arm away as though he were contagious,
as Sasuke stepped back looking himself a little disgusted. It was understandable,
considering he had been the one to touch him first and that fact seemed to be
obvious to the dark boy as he unconsciously wiped his free hand on his shorts.
�� well�� Kakashi chuckled out starting to walk again,
not even waiting for his other students to catch up.
�� God damn it! Stupid fox, what the hell?! Do I look like
a fucking female fox?!� Naruto continued to cry out feeling quite abused where
his ego was concerned. So wrapped up in the injustice served to him, Naruto
didn�t notice the contemplative look that Kakashi made as he continued to fuss
and complain about not being a fox, and therefore didn�t catch the slight
tension in the Jounin�s frame as he switched the mood to a lighter one,
purposefully changing the subject as the other two fell into step beside him.
�� Well, you do give off potent Uzumaki PMS, maybe the fox
was responding to that.�
�� I do not have PMS!!!� Naruto screamed, drowning out
Sakura�s muffled giggles and quickly shot a glare at Sasuke, pointing an
accusing finger. �You! Not a word!�
�� I didn�t say anything, usuratonkachi.� Sasuke mutter
back, his face looking bored but his eyes glittering with mirth.
�� Stop blaming Sasuke.� Sakura predictably began, her look
lightly teasing and friendly as she met Naruto�s blue gaze with her own green
one. At one point Naruto would have done back flips for such attention, now it
only reminded him that he was being made fun of. �Besides, if you let your mood
swings control you, you�ll never land a guy.�
�� Naruto felt his jaw fall slack in shock. Had Sakura
really just implied that Naruto was gay? And that he was attempting to attract
the Uchiha?
�� Naruto opened and closed his mouth several times as the
pink-haired girl grinned evilly up at him. Even Sasuke seemed slightly
surprised at her outburst as his gaze was actually focused on her, one dark
brow raised in question.
�� W�what the hell, Sakura?!� Naruto stuttered, his face
flaming with a mix of humiliation and embarrassment. Sakura grinned, noticing
this, and seemed to be in an unusually playful and vindictive mood. How many
times has Sasuke shot her down today? Naruto wondered as the usually
pristine Uchiha chaser, shot Sasuke a look before flippantly stating:
�� Well, you two did kiss that one time.�
�� Naruto choked on air, scandalized that she would dare to
bring up such horror, as Sasuke visibly tensed, and if Naruto wasn�t mistaken
his left eyelid started to spasmodically twitch.
�� Damn it, he�s gonna beat my ass now� damn you Sakura! Naruto
thought, not liking to admit that the dark-haired boy could best him, but in
his current condition he wasn�t really left with much choice, seeing as Kyuubi
seemed to be unconscious from the fox piss.
�� Seemed even demons were weak against mating rituals.
�� I didn�t know you two were so close.� Kakashi teased, earning
a red glare from Sasuke and a strangled; �What?!� from Naruto.
�� Sakura faked a gasp, and Naruto swore their damn teacher
was rubbing off on her. �Why Naruto, should I be worried about you being my
rival?�
�� Wha�� Naruto began but was cut off.
�� Not a chance.� Sasuke quipped darkly, his gaze spelling
out death to everyone who dared to meet it, and Naruto glared back, uncertain
as to why the rejection of the unwanted proposal hurt so much.
�� Well, that�s true.� Kakashi rumbled, and the vibration
through his back was mildly comforting. �You do intend to revive the clan.
Can�t do that with Naruto.�
�� That�s true, even with Uzumaki PMS, there�s no way he
could conceive Uchiha babies.� Sakura giggled, her face flushing at the last
term, as though picturing herself with such a privilege. Somehow, that rankled
deeply in Naruto as jealousy gnawed in his gut. What�s so great about his
babies, huh?
�� Guess your stuck with the foxes.� Sakura added and
Naruto turned on her quickly as his embarrassing encounter was once again
thrown in his face.
�� Damn it! All of you suck!�
�� Yes, he would never hear the end of this.

3

�� The oppressing heat seemed to build into a pressure just
above his bladder and tore his mind from the blissful arms of sleep. �Shit��
�� Naruto cursed as he rolled from his bed and stumbled into
to the bathroom to relieve himself, but it seemed that it wasn�t his bladder
that was making his lower belly hurt. Scowling, Naruto fixed his pants and
trudged out into the room to dress.
�� Just what I don�t need� Naruto thought as he
pulled on his orange pants and jacket harshly, tying his hitaiate over his
forehead, effectively puling his bangs out of his eyes. Cramps. If that
bastard knew he gave me muscle pains from yesterday I�ll die�Naruto
mentally cursed forcing his body to stand erect and not to wince as his belly
sent a lance of pain strait down his legs making him stumble. He didn�t
remember getting kicked that hard.
�� Damn it�� Naruto clung to the edge of the table for
support for a moment until his toes stopped tingling before moving toward the
door. For once food didn�t sound appetizing to him or his angry stomach. I�ll
make the bastard buy me lunch in compensation. Naruto thought, evilly
plotting ways of using his transformation Jitsu to good use for Sasuke�s fan
club as a way of blackmailing Sasuke. �
�� The outside was annoyingly bright and sunny, a day he
would usually take great pleasure in, but his current mood was dark after his
rude awakening. It didn�t help that his week had been just this side of hell
after his fox incident less then seven days before.
�� Being carried into the village and before the fifth
Hokage had been mortifying, not to mention the report that Kakashi had seemed
all too happy to give, detailing the events of the mission right down to his
abduction via fox.
�� If his group thought it was humorous, Tsunade seemed to
find it hilarious and hadn�t stopped laughing for several minutes. Dumb old
bag� Naruto grumbled just at the memory of his degradement.
�� Luckily she�d dismissed them when Kakashi had made the
mention that he needed to speak to her about something important. Naruto hadn�t
been too concerned about that, and still wasn�t too interested in what he had
to report to that old bat, but he was slightly curious as to why Iruka had
suddenly dropped by that evening wanting to buy him ramen and asking if
anything bad had happened while on mission.
�� He�d tried to keep quiet, but the whole sordid story just
sort of slipped out, but at the very least Iruka was sympathetic to a degree, which
was a relief from the constant laughing and teasing.
�� Naruto let out a deep breath and then breathed back in
the warm air, allowing the sweet taste of the breeze to calm his wounded
thoughts. At least today is just a training day� Naruto thought to himself,
pleased that he�d be able to work out his frustrations on Sasuke�s face.
�� The streets were busy with the usual bustle of the town
as it woke up and came to life for the day. The sun did a lot for coaxing the
people from their homes and putting them in a good mood. The number of smiles
that were actually sent his way were more than usual, though the town had
seemed to warm up to him since he�d made Genin and stopped causing so many
pranks, and from his battle against Neji during the Chuunin exams. Though the
opposite was true for those who recognized his power as being that of Kyuubi,
but those people usually steered clear of him since any actions against him
would not be understood by the new Hokage, who either was unaware of Naruto�s
curse, or simply decided not to give a shit about it.
�� Kicking a pebble and watching the dust motes it crated on
the dusty ground, Naruto tried to forget the hot pain that had yet to leave
him. If anything it seemed to get worse, then lighten up only to hurt again after
a few steps.
�� Man, I don�t bruise but I get lasting muscle pain from
hell?! Naruto grumbled at his rotten luck and continued on his way to the
meeting place. That�s it, I�m going to land a kick to his gut that will
last. Mark up that perfect skin all the girls are so crazy about. Naruto
smirked at that thought and walked a little faster.
�� The bridge came into view from just over the hill and
Naruto quickened his pace as the small forms of Sakura and Sasuke came into
view. Damn, I�m last� Naruto reprimanded himself for not getting up
sooner, somehow upset by the fact that those two had spent any amount of time
alone together.
�� is said to be the best in all of Konoha, so I thought
that maybe we could��
�� Not interested.� Sasuke murmured, looking disinterested
with his arm�s crossed over his chest, his eyes closed as though he were
resting, but they opened and focused on Naruto�s face as the blond jogged up to
them, his footfalls making a hollow thudding sound with each step. �You�re
late, Dobe.� Sasuke greeted and Naruto shot him a glare, bending in half
pretending to catch his breath as another sharp lance of pain made his body
collapse inward.
�� Sakura gave a soft sound of disappointment as her
plans�whatever they were�were again shot down and her love�s interest once more
snared by the blond dropout. Why she couldn�t gain the Uchiha�s attention like
Naruto could was a mystery to her, but she never made mention of it fearing the
truth she doubted she could handle.
�� Naruto rose up as the pain finally subsided and found
Sasuke smirking at him, and instantly bristled ready for a fight. �What?�
�� Run into another fox, or did you just forget to wake up
this morning?�
�� The glare was fitting for the anger and pain Naruto felt
inside, and he took a menacing step forward, his voice growling out from
between his clenched teeth. Briefly he realized that he was loosing his cool
over small things, even more than usual, but another part, the part that was
slowly merging with the nine-tailed fox inside of him, rudely ignored it.
�� I dare you to say that again, teme.� Naruto snarled.
Sasuke just lifted one perfectly curved eyebrow his smirk deepening at the
challenge.
�� You guys�� Sakura began, acting demure before Sasuke as
she stepped between the two of them, attempting to play peacemaker, but Naruto
didn�t feel much like being negotiative.
�� No, let�s hear it, ass-hole.� Naruto began stepping
around Sakura his left hand already out stretched to grab a hold of that
high-collared shirt. �What did you say?!�
�� Sasuke opened his mouth just as another cramp doubled
Naruto in half at the unexpected pain. His eyes closed as his hands spasmed up
to his sides. His knees buckled lightly before he managed to regain control
over himself and remembered just where he was.
�� You�re sweating, Dobe. Are you feeling unwell?� Sasuke
asked, uncharacteristically inquisitive, and Naruto bit the inside of his cheek
for composer.
�� I�m fine!� Naruto snapped, standing up fully and feeling
a desperate pull from inside to curl back up. Damn it�
�� Sasuke gave him a look that clearly stated he didn�t
believe him, but he didn�t press the issue, choosing to return to his
anti-social ways as they waited for their ever-tardy teacher.
�� Sakura didn�t ask, but Naruto could still feel her eyes
burning holes into his back, and with each wave of pain it grew harder to
tolerate her unwavering stare.
�� So, Sakura, what were you talking to Sasuke about when I
got here?� Naruto asked, turning with a brightly forced smile. It felt like his
entire body was trembling lightly from residual pain and his mask of happiness
crumbled with each crest of agony.
�� The pink haired shinobi blushed a littler, her eyes
straying to the boy who was studiously ignoring the both of them before she
looked back a little longingly and crestfallen. �Just about the new desert
shop. Shikumaru�s cousin owns it, and it�s said to be the best.�
�� Naruto perked up, his mind immediately locking on the
prospect of chocolate. That sounds soo good. Maybe instead of Ramen I�ll
make the prick take me there, treat me for this painful handy cap. Naruto
nodded to himself and Sakura took it as his motion that he was listening, and
continued with a sigh, leaning against the early morning sun-warmed railing.
�� Yeah, but it seems Sasuke doesn�t like sweets.�
�� Naruto couldn�t contain his laugh that had the
pink-haired girl looking at him curiously.
�� Of course not, he hates sweet things, only chocolate
he�ll eat is dark.� Naruto said as though the information was common knowledge.
He missed the startled look the Uchiha turned on him, too content on the
thought of chocolate and his possible consumption of it.
�� Me on the other hand, I love sweet things! All kinds, so
where is��
�� H�how did you know that?� Sakura asked, eyes darting
between himself and Sasuke. Naruto blinked, his smile fading at her reaction.
�� Huh? Know what?�
�� What kind of candy Sasuke eats.� Sakura clarified, and
Naruto rolled his eyes, waving his hand dismissively, bored with such a stupid
question.
�� What do you mean how? He never touched the gifts the
girl�s made for him on the spring festival days, or on his birthday, and when
Iruka-sensei passed out candies for the Kyuubi-festival, Sasuke was the only
one who received the dark chocolate.� Naruto stated matter-o-factly, unaware of
the shocking attention he�d given to Sasuke, as well as his attention to detail
that even one of the Uchiha�s seasoned fan-girl�s had missed.
�� It�s obvious, I mean he�s a bastard, of course he�d be
retarded when it came to good tasting things like sweets and ramen. I mean the
teme won�t even eat eggs because of the sugar in it.� (1)
�� Sasuke raised an eyebrow as Sakura�s jaw dropped in
shock. It appeared that they had assumed Naruto was useless when gathering
information after the incident with the written test in the Chuunin exams, and
were now proven horribly wrong.
�� How��
�� A puff of smoke announced the late instructor�s arrival
and the blond turned on the silver-haired man quickly his finger pointing
accusingly. �Late!�
�� Sorry, but there was this poor blind bat�� and so their
day began, the informative conversation all but forgotten in the swirl of their
training, which was both a curse and a blessing to Naruto.
�� Yes, Sasuke definitely owed him a treat, this time.

3

�� Naruto swung out only to have his fist blocked, and he
sprung back quickly, just barely missing a foot to his face. He basked in
momentary glory at avoiding one of Sasuke�s attacks and was clipped in the
ankle by Sasuke�s foot.
�� Ah!� Naruto cried out, completing and awkward, unsteady
flip, landing on solid ground just as a blur of black encompassed his vision.
�Shit!� Naruto squeaked placing his arms in a cross before his face just as
Sasuke�s fist connected painfully forcing Naruto back, his feet leaving deep
grooves in the dirt.
�� A rush of wind let Naruto know that the Uchiha was on the
move again, and he flung around, his heart slamming into his ribcage in
anticipation, not all that certain of where Sasuke would attack from. It was
the unknown that made their sparring sessions so intense and one of the things
Naruto most looked forward to, though he�d never admit to it.
�� Sasuke�s movements where always so fluid, almost
graceful, and though it rankled deeply in Naruto that he still stumbled his way
across the battle field, he knew his own movements were improving from
attempting to imitate the prodigy in these matches, and slowly but surely he
was improving.
�� Over here, Dobe.� Sasuke hissed in his right ear, and
the brush of heat made him shiver almost as much as the gruff, deeper tone the
words were spoken in, and he jerked around with the fear of being caught, but
was too slow to avoid the attack.
�� The foot connected painfully with his belly, and the
second the kick connected, the chakra added to the attack filled his body with
a burning ache that reawakened the dormant pain as something inside burst with
painful heat.
�� AHHHHHHH!� Naruto screamed, his body curling in
mid-air as his bowels seemed to release ruining his pants. He hit the ground
and rolled, unable to stop himself, barely able to focus through the blistering
pain that wracked through his body, sending his muscles into light spasms, and
twitches.
�� His breath caught in his constricted throat and he
trembled, eyes refusing to open, locking him in blackness that was filled with
agony. God� damn� I broke�that bastard� broke� gah, it hurts� hurts�
Naruto pulled closer, forcing himself to breath, but the breath seemed to only
make the pain worse and a whimper escaped him, and he could barely hear it from
his muffled ears.
�� Finished already, usuratonkachi?� Sasuke�s voice came
from above him sounding superior, but he couldn�t even find the will to look up
at the boy. �I hardly hit you, get�� His words trailed off suddenly, and the
silence was cold as the boy finally took in his appearance.
�� Great, he knows I messed myself� joy� Naruto
thought, trying to focus on something other than the pain, but couldn�t seem to
let go of the agony spiraling inside. Could this be� Kyuubi? Naruto
wondered almost fearfully, almost missing the bored, disappointed tone of
Kakashi as he joined Sasuke, Sakura close on his heels.
�� Naruto, unless you�re dying get up.�
�� Naruto managed to crack an eye open at the tone, and
tried to force himself up, but the blinding pain made his head spin and nausea
climb up the back of his throat.
�� He lurched onto his side hacking up stomach acid since he
had no food in his belly to vomit up, and heard a startled cry as someone�he
assumed it was Sasuke�dropped to his side, strong hands holding his shoulders
and securing him against a warm chest.
�� Naruto!�
�� Sasuke what�s�� Kakashi began, but was either cut off by
Sasuke or saw for himself the condition Naruto was in as he stopped abruptly.
�� He needs to get
to a hospital, I think my last kick ruptured something.�
�� What?� Kakashi�s question was a mirror of Naruto�s own,
though his reason was because of the large word and not because he needed more
information on the situation as Kakashi did.
�� Oh my god!� Sakura cried, �Naruto�s, covered in blood!�
�� What?� Naruto choked, trying to look down, but a lance
of pain left him shaking and Sasuke pulled him further into his arms,
attempting to stand.
�� Don�t move him.� Kakashi commanded calmly, swiftly
turning to Sakura. �Go get Tsunade, tell her to meet us at the hospital. Tell
her Naruto may have ruptured an organ.�
�� Sakura nodded before darting away with such speed Naruto
was surprised it was the same girl he�d been training with for over six months.
�� Naruto, can you hear me?� Kakashi asked, and Naruto
tried to smile, but it came out more of a grimace as unwanted tears of pain
slipped from the corners of his eyes. Not trusting his voice he nodded his
head, and felt the muscles under his body tense. �Okay, I need you to tell me
where it hurts, and how badly.�
�� Naruto lifted a badly shaking hand and placed it over his
lower stomach where his fingers curled into his clothes as another intense
cramp took hold, turning his spoken answer into a blubbering simper that made
his face flush with embarrassment.
Without
thinking, Naruto turned his face into the nearest cover that just happened to
be Sasuke�s shirt and stomach. The fabric was soft and warm, and smelled of
musk, sweat, and lightly of rain, mixed with the soft scent of detergent, and
it was mildly comforting to him. He could only assume that that was how Sasuke
smelled minus the soap scent that clung to the clothes, and nuzzled closer,
hiding his weakness in the fabric.
�� Sasuke twitched at his actions but otherwise made no
motion. He heard Kakashi sigh, and say something to Sasuke that he didn�t
bother to listen to, trusting the Uchiha to take care of whatever it was, after
all, the bastard seemed to have a better understanding than he did on these
things.
�� Sasuke�s voice vibrated through his head as he responded
and the sound, warmth, and smell, coaxed Naruto�s over taxed mind into a heated
darkness of oblivion, and he followed without much complaint. He was so tired.
He was long gone by the time the panicked cries started calling out his name.

3

�� Naruto was certain that his life couldn�t get any worse
as he sat in the hospital bed, pouting at the wall playing a boring game of
cards with himself while waiting for Tsunade to allow his team mates into his
room.
�� If he was truthful with himself he really didn�t want
them to come in. He was never good at dealing with people being concerned over
him, and it only made him feel awkward when they asked him how he was. He
usually reacted with a joke, or a rude comment to break up the mood, but he
doubted that would work after the stunt he�d just pulled, though he was no
longer in danger, and most of the pain was gone.
�� A nurse had informed him when he woke up�nearly an hour
before�that he�d been brought in three hours before, and that he was fine, so
it bothered him that they wouldn�t let him get up, nor would they allow him to
leave. I could always sneak out the window. Naruto tossed the notion
from his head swiftly, knowing that he had people who would worry and care if
he went missing from the hospital.
�� A mischievous smile made its way over his face and he
snickered evilly to himself at his newest thought. I wonder if Sakura would
freak out like she did over Sasuke�s vanishing act. He grinned and set
another card down on his growing pile. He�d made his own games up when no one
would teach him the others as a kid, though he had to admit it wasn�t much of a
game as it was just dividing the deck into ordered piles of color, rank, and
suit. Maybe even Sasuke would wonder where I went. His grin mellowed out
to a soft smile. �Yeah, and birds will marry fish.�
�� I hope that�s not a display of your mental functions.�
The sound of Kakashi�s voice made Naruto both stiffen and smile.
�� Kakashi-sensei!� Naruto turned and took in the small
crowd that had gathered around his bed. Sakura walked right up to his side, her
look concerned and worried, the Jounin stood beside her. Sasuke hung back a
ways, his eyes averted, and his form tense.
�� Black eyes darted to his once, the searching intensity of
them making Naruto flush for reasons he didn�t understand, and to cover it up
he flashed a smile. �Wow, even Sasuke came to visit me! Who threatened his
shirt?�
�� Kakashi smiled�at least he thought he did�and Sakura gave
a pout while Sasuke averted his eyes again, his face if anything growing
darker. Well that wasn�t what I expected� Naruto thought eyeing the
Uchiha, ready to try another taunt and was shut up by a swat to his head.
�� Ow! What the hell, can�t you see I�m injured?!� Naruto
cried, turning accusing eyes to his assailant and frowned when the Fifth Hokage
stared down her nose at him.
�� Hardly, you�re problem is natural.� Sasuke looked up,
his shoulders relaxing slightly at that announcement and Naruto blinked in
confusion.
�� Huh? How�s bleeding outta my ass natural, you old bag?�
Another swat to his head left him cursing as the grouchy lady continued on as
if he hadn�t spoken. What was it with adults and ignoring him?
�� Now stop picking on the boy whose been beating himself
up thinking he nearly killed you.� Tsunade ignored the glare Sasuke shot her
way�obviously annoyed with her observation�as she took a seat on the edge of
Naruto�s bed, looking almost weary.
�� A fearful chill settled inside of Naruto�s chest and he
grabbed the fabric over his stomach knowing only one thing that could be so
physically frightening and be natural.
�� The seal?� He asked without thinking and only noticed
his mistake as both the Hokage and the Copy Ninja turned to him sharply. Sasuke
looked up curious and Sakura glanced between him and Tsunade confused at being
out of the loop for once while Naruto was the one on the inside.
�� Naruto flushed, not really wanting his friends to know
about his true self�unbidden the images of how they�d reacted to Gaara and his
curse, and he shivered at the thought of being alone again�but if the seal was
breaking then they had as much right as he did to know.
�� The healer and ruler of Konoha sighed and Naruto felt his
heart sink to his feet. �Yes, and no. The seal is fine, and the rest of that
matter can be discussed at a later time.�
�� Naruto relaxed a little and accepted her answer. His calm
demeanor was unnoticed by the curious Sakura, but Sasuke�s eyes fairly bore
holes into his skull. The Uchiha had not missed a word, he may not understand
it but he hadn�t missed a thing, Naruto�s odd behavior included. Damn him
and his perceptive ways� Naruto just hoped that Sasuke would act like his
usual self and not ask questions.
�� However�� Tsunade continued, once again regaining
everyone�s attention, and Naruto swallowed his nervousness to force a chipper
grin as he let out a perfected sigh.
�� C�mon baa-chan, can�t this wait, I�m starving!� His
complaint lifted the mood and did its job in relaxing all in the room except
for him. Tsunade struck him again with a snarl.
�� Show some respect you little brat! Now shut up and listen
this is about you!�
�� Naruto rolled his eyes and slumped into his bed getting a
smile from Sakura and a shake of the head from Kakashi. Sasuke was the only one
that still seemed to be unfazed, but that was normal, and Naruto doubted Sasuke
was good enough to be able to tell when he was faking.
�� What is it then?�
�� Tsunade made an annoyed sound as she met Naruto�s eyes,
then she looked around the room at the others, as though debating whether she
should say what she needed to before them.
�� Again Naruto tensed, prepared for his world to end with
the next words as she turned back to him with a sympathetic look. �Normally I
wouldn�t say this in front of anyone, but being as this will affect all here,
and it will be better if you had people to know and help you...� Tsunade
rambled, seeming as nervous as the rest of them were. It was not comforting in
the least.
�� What is it?� Kakashi asked, and Naruto nodded his head,
curious as well as to what his natural problem was. I�m not dying am I?
�� Tsunade looked up and fixed Sakura and Sasuke with a hard
look. �What I say here is not to leave this room, understand.� It wasn�t a
question.
�� Sakura nodded sharply, the fear clear on her face. Sasuke
on the other hand just made that non-committal noise that could mean anything
and nothing at all. Naruto had yet to decode the Uchiha�s language, but it
seemed Tsunade had somehow cracked the code as she continued with out pressing
further.
�� Ok then,� Once more her eyes locked onto his own and
Naruto felt a shiver run down his spine at the seriousness of the issue, and
steeled himself for the worse. �Naruto, you collapsed and bled profusely from
your rectum because,� She paused and Naruto almost strangled her for it.
�you�re period started.�
�� Silence.
�� Bitter, unrelenting silence, where no one moved, and
then�
�� God Damn it! That is not funny, Old bag! For the last
damn time I do not have PMS!� Naruto yelled, standing up on his bed
making Sakura reach out, fearful of him falling. �If you�re just going to make
fun of me, then I�m going home!� Naruto was fully intending of leaving through
the window when Tsunade�s still calm, dead serious voice followed him like the
poison of a snakebite through his veins.
�� This is no joke, Uzumaki. Somehow you seem to have a
functioning uterus and ovaries and have currently started your first cycle.�
Naruto turned to face the crazy woman in a haze of dread, trying not to think
of how it made sick sense what with the damn fox, but that still didn�t explain
how.
�� His expression must have stated as much as Tsunade
continued slowly. �I believe it may be a side affect of the seal, but I will
discuss that with you later. What you need to know right now, is that somehow
you have the working parts of a woman, but not the proper� tools.�
�� Someone choked.
�� thus its found an exit and entry through your rectum.�
�� Naruto suddenly felt ill. Collapsing on the bed, Naruto
realized that the diaper feeling on his butt was most likely that thing called
a pad. His body heaved with the urge to vomit and he covered his mouth with his
hands.
�� I�m sorry I had to discuss such private matters in front
of your team, but you will need a woman�s assistance, and Sakura would be the
best option. That and your team should be aware of your circumstances.� Her
words had a double meaning and Naruto trembled at it, feeling vulnerable and
felt Sakura place an uncertain hand on his shoulder.
�� Finally looking up, Naruto felt a little eased at the
accepting�if disbelieving�look in Sakura�s eyes. Taking courage from that,
Naruto looked around the room. Kakashi looked shocked, but otherwise seemed
normal, already relaxing to the notion that his student was even more of a
freak than he thought. But the real shock was with Sasuke.
�� The Uchiha was standing there, his eyes practically bugging
from his head, his jaw slightly agape as he stared at Naruto.
�� Somehow the look hurt and Naruto averted his eyes
cursing, and felt tears burn the backs of his eyes. This� just got worse.
What the hell was that saying? Trouble always comes in threes? Naruto sure
believed that now.
�� What the hell are you looking at?� Naruto snapped,
easily falling back on routine to protect his wounded pride and heard Sasuke
straiten up, gaining control over his expression once more.
�� Hn.� Was his only response, and for once the sound was
appreciated. He hadn�t said nothing, as though to imply Naruto was below
recognition, and he hadn�t stuttered like a fool, proving that their current
relationship hadn�t changed either.
�� No, that sound just proved that Sasuke was as disturbed
by this news as he himself was and was dealing with it in his own way. Maybe
things weren�t all that destroyed after all.
�� Well, guess that means Naruto is competition.�
Kakashi joked, destroying Naruto�s fragile calm with his insanity and it was
then that Naruto decided that Kyuubi was a big, vindictive bitch, and he was at
her mercy.
Life sucked.

A.N. well here�s chapter one. ^-^ What do you think,
should I continue? Let me know, and if they are out of character I am sorry.
Now as for my other fic, Natural I have decided to leave it as a one shot, but
I might write up a sequel of sorts for all of you who wanted the story to be
longer. It can be considered as the next part to Natural or an entirely
different story for those who preferred that Natural stay a one shot, but for
the time being I�ll be focused on this story. Thank you for your opinions and
I�ll see you next time.

1: Japanese scrambled eggs often have sugar mixed in. It
actually tastes quitekj good, I had it in some Tempura Udon. Damn it was great!
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Kyuubi the Bitch