• 1-Part 1
• 2-Part 2
• 3-Part 3
• 4-Part 4

A/N: This is for Zrina as bribery to write SoD XD She helped so much with this fic, and named it too! :D Also thanks to Allys for the beta, as always :D (I’d be so lost without those two XD)

“Naruto! Would you just listen to me?! I don’t have all day for your sulking!” Dr Tsunade Sannin resisted the urge to smash her fists against her desk; she had been starting to leave dents and didn’t need anyone questioning her anger management issues.

Naruto slouched down in the chair, completely ignoring her; he was fascinated with all the awards the old hag had collected as the city’s most renowned psychiatrist. Well he was really just looking at all the paintings of slugs she had. What’s her weird obsession with slugs? Ooh! I wonder if she’s part French. Naruto voiced that thought and managed to stop Tsunade’s rant mid sentence.

Naruto screwed up his face, he was getting impatient, he glared at the slug shaped phone, willing it to ring.

Tsunade slipped back into her tirade about how dangerous being a reporter was when you were digging up dirt on the cities most famous and rich and how Naruto couldn’t keep sneaking around spying on them.

“It’s not like you’re a freaking ninja! You could get seriously hur-” Tsunade was interrupted as her intercom buzzed, she huffed and pressed one the button.

“What is it Sakura?” Tsunade’s short temper was going to blow soon.

Naruto sat up from his seat and tried not to look too interested. Come on Sakura, baby! you can do this!

“Uh.. I’m sorry to disturb you doctor, I’ve just received a call, Mr Orochimaru is having a breakdown again, and it’s really bad this time.” Sakura’s hesitant voice came over the intercom.

Tsunade frowned. What was it about that man and constantly thinking he was a snake? She had done so much research on the weirdo’s behalf and still fallen up short.

Naruto tried to hide his smile, he had told Sakura to be creative, who knew she could be some imaginative?

The blonde before him looked as though she might gag too. “Fine! I’ll make a house call. Cancel my other appointments,” Tsunade snapped, she did not look forward to travelling half way across town to shake that pasty freak, she was a doctor, and tried to be understanding, but that little creep and his almost obscene tongue got on her nerves.

She stood up, braced her hands on the table, in the indentions caused by her fists, and spoke very slowly to Naruto to make sure he understood.

“Stay right here, do not touch anything, I’ll be back in a few hours.” Her amber eyes bored straight into his own and he found himself hypnotised. Naruto found himself nodding, but then his gaze travelled lower to the boobs and he started drooling. Tsunade had the hugest breasts he had ever seen, and despite her age, they were pretty damn firm.

Tsunade slapped the hand that was travelling towards her chest away and with the other hand hit him over the head. “Do you understand me? We are not finished talking about your choice in a career.” Tsunade had taken it up to be something like his surrogate mother which meant she also frequently took liberties with his person.

Naruto beamed at her, “Of course, hag! I’m always good.” He shot her his most innocent look, his blue eyes becoming very large and wide, his lips took on a slight pout till he was the very picture of a blond, blue eyed cherub.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes suspiciously, gave up buttoning her coat over her chest, and made her way out, her mind now occupied with dealing with her most eccentric patient.

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She brushed her hair back in frustration as she typed away at her computer trying to find the patient contact list. Tsunade met with a lot of patients during the day, her fame came at the price of being surrounded by rich idiots who apparently had mental issues. Sakura was a little disillusioned with idea of psychiatric help for people who clearly didn’t have any mental problems just needed a good kick up the backside.

Sakura was just reaching for her phone when she felt the rise of the hairs on her neck. She looked up into the coldest pair of deep black eyes she had ever seen. One of the most beautiful men in the world stood at her desk with his eyebrow raised and an irritated expression on his face. Of course she didn’t see this, what she saw was pale smooth skin, long dark bangs and chiselled features. She saw the wind blowing in his hair, and a light shining from no where to accentuate high cheek bones. Sakura looked into those deep black pools outlined with dark eyelashes and was lost. Her mouth fell open and she had no clue what she was saying. It was something along the lines of “uh.. nh… ahh…uh…” Inarticulacy did not suit her. Neither did drooling.

Sakura was seeing a pink themed wedding and little dark haired children with chubby fingers.

The perfect smooth lips were moving, forming shapes, which meant words. Words!

“… yes?” Her dark knight in a well cut suit finished.

“uh…” Sakura was frantically trying to kick her brain in gear. “Yes…” His eyebrow relaxed to join the other, giving her a cool indifferent look he dismissed her and walked towards Tsunade’s office.

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“If you wanna be ma lurva!”

He hadn’t found anything relevant to his story, he needed something juicy, so far all he had found was her porn collection labelled under “very important documents” Naruto made a mental note to go through those ‘documents’ later.

Hehe, not a ninja! I could so be a ninja! Diversion tactics!

“I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.” Naruto jutted his hip out the right, twirled to the left and froze.

There stood Uchiha Sasuke, Cosmo’s rated number one bachelor in the city. Not that Naruto read Cosmo. The Uchiha was famous because his Father ran one of the largest computer companies in the country.

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The Doctor spluttered out a “Yes!” and glared back at Sasuke. He moved to observe the certificates hanging on the wall but the blond intercepted him.

“Something wrong Doctor….?”

The brunet saw only the typical black leather reclining chair and tch’d as he sat down on the side of it. No way was he going to be treated like a crazy.

Naruto’s nervous smile dropped as Sasuke turned to sit down. The brunet had caught him completely off guard, his ninja skills really needed to brushed up on. When faced with that question and seeing the disbelief in the Uchiha’s eyes, Naruto’s reaction had been to defy, to glare challengingly and lie through his teeth. Naruto hated being underestimated, especially by complete arrogant strangers. Ever the opportunist, Naruto seized the chance to interview Sasuke in the guise of a therapy session. What better way to get dirt?

The intercom buzzed, just as Naruto was trying to figure out where to start. Sasuke looked at him, queering with his eyes whether he was going to answer that. Naruto gulped, and hit the button.

“uh…Naruto…?”

“I said ‘Not now’ Sakura!” He cut her off quickly, and then released the button.

He smiled sheepishly at the intense stare the Uchiha was giving him.

Tsunade’s sessions lasted two hours; he knew that much, which he meant he had plenty of time to coax something interesting out of the Uchiha.

Sasuke glared and didn’t answer, choosing to look out the window instead, not really seeing the dull grey sky with matching grey clouds.

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The problem came because Sasuke’s father couldn’t understand why Sasuke rejected proposal after proposal, short of tying Sasuke up and forcing intercourse, fat little Uchiha babies were not a part of the future. Fugaku thought that some therapy could help Sasuke over come his sexually repressed nature.

And so he had agreed to the therapy, trusting that here something would be solved. That is why he was having his mind analysed by an idiot doctor.

“Tell me what you see” The doctor held up some cards with abstract pictures on them. His face hidden except for his eyes covered by glasses, which peeked over the top.

Sasuke was having difficulty seeing how this was helping in any way and voiced that.

It had been almost a half hour now and Sasuke hadn’t uttered more than a sentence. Every time Naruto tried to ask him something he’d just receive a smart assed answer that made Naruto want to strangle him. Or he would answer a question with a question, which would result in Naruto ranting and Sasuke smirking. Like an ass.

It had been a half hour of Naruto staring at Sasuke and the stuck up ass staring right back. It was as if his right eyebrow had been permanently stitched higher than his left. What was even more frustrating for Naruto was that he couldn’t find a single flaw with the others face, he had even got bored of his inner voice mocking the Uchiha’s duck butt hair. Naruto lifted a hand to run over his own scarred cheeks; he’d take the physical scarring over the mental scarring the Uchiha probably had any day.

“Look, why don’t you just tell me why you’re here, and then we’ll go from there” Naruto gritted out, pulling his hands away before he pulled all his hair out.

He tried to contain his excitement. “C’mon, out with it…” Naruto was glad the desk hid his leg which had started to twitch.

“Yes, but I need you to tell me, it will help you confront your… uh… problem” Naruto finished off lamely.

Sasuke didn’t look like he was buying it.

Sasuke still didn’t look like he was buying it.

Naruto wanted to jump over the desk and shake him. They glared at each other and just when Naruto was going to act on his thoughts, Sasuke spoke.

Sasuke really did blush this time, and he went back to looking outside.

“So… you’re gay?” Naruto asked again, his mind trying to put together all the possibilities of what he could do with this story.

Sasuke shifted from his seat on the side of elongated chair and chose not to answer.

“Will you let me finish? I’m guessing you haven’t had any action with ‘the same sex’,” Naruto fought not to smirk with his chosen words.

Naruto got up, moved from around the desk and smoothly straddled the end of the chair Sasuke sat on, “Why not?”

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Sasuke collected himself before replying to the idiot doctor’s idiot question, “Doesn’t it go against your code of honour, Doctor?” He edged away from the blond, but the back of the chair blocked his progress.

“Sacrifices have to be made,” Uzumaki replied easily, waving his hand as if it were nothing. The brunet felt uncomfortable with the doctor’s close proximity. Sasuke had to keep his hormones in check; this was difficult since the situation excited him more than Itachi’s dirty magazines ever had.

“Ok,” Sasuke threw caution to the wind, it’s not as if it would hurt or anything, but if he liked it from one of the most annoying people he’d ever met, then it would prove it.

“Ok?” The blond’s eyes widened so that he could see the black outlines around the irises.

“Yes, ok, but make it quick.” Sasuke looked down at the blond’s lips, a bit chapped, but pleasant looking nonetheless.

“Oh no, you have to kiss me.”

“What differences will that make?” Sasuke was getting irritated again.

“Well…” The blond scrunched up his eyes and looked thoughtful. “If you kiss me, then it’s your own action, something you can’t deny.” The doctor finished looking pleased with himself. Sasuke was wondering what was wrong with him as what the moron had said made sense.

He looked the blond full in the eyes, taking in for the first time the scarred cheeks and just how disgustingly bright those blue eyes were and the spiky blond hair on closer inspection looked coarse, the lips looked soft though.

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Their mouths connected, neither closed their eyes. Naruto made sure to sit very still, as if Sasuke were some sort of woodland animal that he would scare away with a sudden movement or sound.

Sasuke pulled back after a few seconds of contact, the lips had been warm, nice to touch.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow at his ‘patient’, “Well, ready to join the ‘mos?”

“It didn’t do anything,” Sasuke replied coolly

Their lips connected again, but this time Sasuke slanted his mouth to kiss with movement and pressed harder. Well that was more like it.

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Naruto gave him a challenging look and he found himself gripping Naruto’s shirt again, twisting his head to the side to capture that mouth again.

Open mouths moved against each other this time, Naruto’s tongue coming to lick at the underside of Sasuke’s bottom lip.

Sasuke felt himself being pushed into the back of the chair, his body twisted uncomfortably to the side, but he didn’t care. His thoughts were all zeroed on feeling the intense release from his chest as he kissed back.

He felt Naruto tug his shirt loose from his trouser suit and slip a hand in. The warm hand was pressed flat, stroking his stomach sending little tingles down his spine. The thumb pressed down harder than the other fingers, tracing over the contours there. It circled his navel, pushing in slightly causing Sasuke to tense at the odd feeling.

The hand changed direction and moved upwards grazing over a nipple, then travelling back down again. All the while being kissed harshly, chapped lips wet and soft sliding over his own. Sasuke’s mind was having difficulty differentiating between the two sensations. His other nipple was pinched; Sasuke couldn't tell left from right.

Naruto nipped at his lips, and then pulled back. Both panting.

“Well?”

Sasuke wiped at his mouth and smirked, “Nothing.”

Naruto growled, but before the blond could pounce, Sasuke pushed out his hand, he shifted so that he straddled the chair too, facing Naruto. “Nothing,” he repeated before reaching over again and pulling Naruto into another mouth numbing kiss.

Sasuke wasn’t really paying much attention to what his mind was screaming as he was pushed back further into the chair, the action causing his shirt to ride up. Naruto pulled his knees up, positioning himself directly above him.

Naruto’s eyes were glazed with lust as he bent down again to kiss, nip, and lick the mouth beneath him. One hand was braced at the head of the chair, while the other worked its way down Sasuke’s chest. He palmed the clothed erection almost roughly causing the body underneath to buck up slightly.

“This proves it.”

“Well… shit…”

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