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Bittersweet	By : Yaguchi Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1040 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Bittersweet
- 1
Notes: Wrote this while listening to Trivium’s “Dying In Your Arms”. Seemed real appropriate somehow. Sasuke may seem a little...OOC in this, but bear with me - I'm trying to picture what it would be like if Sakura lost faith in him and he realised he wanted it back.
*~*
She never knew what to expect from Uchiha Sasuke anymore.
When he’d returned, his defeat of Orochimaru overshadowing his betrayal, she’d been different. So different that she’d punched him in the face.
It had been the laugh of Konoha for weeks. The prodigal Uchiha Sasuke, who’d gone away for power and come back to be smacked around by a girl who’d always been considered the weakest and most likely to forgive him.
Oh, it had been rocky from then for sure. She was amazing when it came to gen-jutsu, but her skill now lie with her incredible strength and her healing powers. Of course, her weapon of choice required close range skills along with agility and speed.
Sasuke bragged that his sharingan would overcome her any day.
She reminded him that he was still a little genin.
The training grounds ended up a mass of debris and scorched earth.
Kakashi still watched over them, over the top of his bright orange book. It seemed just fine to him that they were all back together again, never mind that the friction between two of the members was causing enough trouble that even Naruto complained regularly. In fact, the silver-haired jounin took great pleasure in sending the three of them off to missions and watching what ensued.
Sometimes, she would return frustrated or near tears, and Tsunade would take the time to remind her about the nature of boys, and how at 17 she was more likely to react strongly to their barbs and baits.
As the weeks and months flittered by, she grew in her own right. It was a strange thing to describe, but as she grew, the child who had wanted to be a part of everything (and especially the bond shared by the rest of Team 7) but never could…well, it grew too and seemed to separate from everything, as though threads that had tied it to other things and people had been cut away.
With this change had to come the acceptance of loneliness – the casting away of childish fears and longings to be with someone. It made her feel strange when she noted that while something similar had occurred with Sasuke and Naruto, they still held a strong bond with each other. It made her tilt her head curiously when she wondered how, despite the times they’d had to fight each other almost to the death, they could still be as close as they were now. Before he’d come back, she’d actually had something of a partnership with the noisy jinchuuriki. Now, it had disintegrated. And once again, she was on the outside looking in.
She supposed she was jealous. Jealous, and THAT was why she glared at Sasuke over her shoulder, why she turned her face away whenever he was near. She wasn’t bitter and lonely, no. Just jealous.
She had friends dotted around. But these were people who she had never been close with and who had never truly been under her guard and in her heart. She wouldn’t miss them if the threads between them were suddenly cut away. Not like she would…had…her old team.
“Almost 18,” Tsunade commented, studying her fingernails. “You’ve already passed the Jounin exam. You’re at the level now where you could join Sasuke and Naruto in ANBU should you so wish.”
She was silent, slouching in the office chair in a slovenly manner. In her eyes, she had been skilled at performing undercover and ANBU-style missions long before an exam, a scroll and an animal-style mask could say so. And seeing Tsunade like that, looking somehow pleased with herself, she began to see something more than the drunken ex-Sannin and demanding shishou.
Tsunade knew she would be like this eventually, in this state of mind. She had most likely sent her student on all those top secret, high-ranked missions with a cheerful Naruto and belligerent Sasuke because of this.
She could have been mad. Could have slapped her smug face with all the strength in her arm and chakra in her body for the older woman’s manipulation. But…
ANBU…top secret…members rarely survive beyond a few years…some go insane before then…
She’d never been saved like this before. Oh, when she was younger, Sasuke and Naruto had saved her all the time – she’d been their obstruction, their constant damsel in distress. But this. This was on an entirely new level.
“Arigatou…Tsunade-shishou,” she said quietly.
The woman looked startled at first, hazel eyes widening. But their softening as she left the room told her that she understood.
And a thread began to reattach.
*~*
Sasuke would never admit that he was cold, but it was obvious in the gooseflesh of his arm and tightness of his face. A mission in a mountain-set town had led the two of them to having to shack up in a small, beat-down inn. The size meant that she found herself sharing a room with him.
The book she was reading was average. The cover was pretty, the pages edged in gold. The story reeked of bored housewives substituting sexless husbands with papers and pens. But anything was really better to her than Sasuke and his strangely inane rambling.
He rarely spoke a lot without the aid of alcohol, let alone rambled. Didn’t normally leave his longer, silky hair loose from its ponytail either. Tonight he was animated, onyx eyes illuminated and darting. He complained about the cold, complained that she was so quiet.
She ignored him.
“Oi.”
Actually, even she was beginning to feel the chill…
“Oi!”
It was probably because of the vest-top…
“OI!”
She was a little under-dressed for a winter town, especially with snow falling outside…
“OI! SAKURA!”
Annoyance. Annoyance at him noticing her. Or maybe not noticing her until now.
“What do you want?” A tone as frostbitten as her heart.
Sasuke wasn’t visibly fazed. Never had been by her, it seemed. He simply continued to prod things with his feet, study pictures on the wall. “I said, when are you taking the ANBU exam?”
An absurdly beautiful person, really. Always handsome and strong, but only recently acquiring something akin to charisma and personality. Both strong and weak. Smart and stupid. A lot to learn but also tended to be the wisest of all of them, treachery and power hunger aside.
“I’m not.”
He paused. A bare foot paused mid-kick of a book similar to what she was reading. Dark eyes turned to the bed upon which she reclined. Yes, sometimes stupid. He didn’t understand.
“What?” He gave a cold snort, suspecting cowardice and amused because he’d expected it. “And here I thought…” he turned to her fully, and she realised she had never experience his complete attention before when they were alone. “Well. I thought that was what you wanted.”
“What I wanted was to be a ninja.”
The book was cast aside. She waited.
When understanding finally shifted over his face, their eyes locked. Black and green. Chalk and cheese. Spring and autumn. Combinations that would never work.
Turning off the lamp, she rolled to the side and rested her forehead on the wall. The blankets were thin and scratchy, the mattress lumpy, the pillows flat. The inn was a sorry excuse for accommodation.
It was silent. She could picture Sasuke’s pensive expression, his mild annoyance that she’d turned her back to him. As the snow fell outside, she heard the soft pad of footsteps.
“I don’t want the bed under the window,” he said.
“Too bad.”
“You should take the window bed,” Sasuke continued stubbornly, determined to get his way. “As a medic you can alter your body temperature better.”
“No. Go to sleep.”
The damn pillow smelled of ammonia. The walls had wide cracks. The bed – creaked under the weight of the extra body.
She snarled and flung an arm blindly behind her. It was barely blocked by Sasuke’s arm.
“I won’t take the window bed,” he asserted. His persistent shifting onto the bed forced her against the wall on the smaller-than-single bed, unless she wanted to be flush against her childhood love and adulthood annoyance. As it was, she could feel the worrying sensation of him lightly pressing around her and against her, setting alarms off in her mind.
She was no longer cold, despite the wall and Sasuke’s questionable personality…a sweat managed to break out across her forehead. Even the coldest person could not deny what this moment could promise, and unhappily, she tried to move closer to the wall, telling herself that days for finding Sasuke attractive were long past. He was a traitor and a cold-hearted bastard. Nothing more.
After moments of his breath stirring her pink strands, she had been convinced he was asleep. However, her relaxation seemed to have been some inadvertent silent communication - some mental nod she wasn't aware of.
Back against his chest…his form moulded to hers in a bittersweet parody…he began a shaky and almost…inexperienced exploration in the dark, hands and lips awkward and careless. Experimenting. The way he was sometimes too rough, sometimes too careless, lit a bulb above her head – one that made her feel shock from her head to her toes. Uchiha Sasuke was behaving like a virgin.
His arousal evident against her, his breathing laboured…it was only a matter of time before her shorts and underwear were tossed aside with his own.
Blood ran from her lip to the pillow as the last of the Uchihas fumbled in the chibi-sized bed. Inexperienced and rushed, Sasuke grabbed her breast through her shirt a bit too hard as he attempted to enter her from behind.
A literal stabbing in the dark.
Weak and afraid, she squeezed her eyes shut. She could see in her mind’s eye the dark-haired man defending her from many villains in the past, catching her when Gaara’s sand released her, hell, even from countless unwanted male advances…
It was hard to place him with the one unsuccessfully trying to mount her.
With a growl, Sasuke pulled away and for a moment the cold enveloped her and she was relieved.
He rolled her onto her back.
Eyes finally adjusted to the dark. The expression on his face was intense and determined. He seemed to understand the new advantage of being over her even as she hated him for it. Dominance shone in his eyes, a coldly arrogant look that told her this would happen one way or another. She raised her hands, wanted to push him away. Slyly, he kissed her palm, buried his lips against her neck. When she was confused enough to be rendered harmless, he aligned his hips and pushed with surprising surety.
She wouldn’t remember everything later. The main thing that held her attention was the discomfort. Sasuke was bigger than expected. It felt like he was gouging out her insides.
The pain had been sharp, and she felt the moistness of blood that was telltale to her lost innocence.
He was over her, around her, in her…his black hair tickled her neck, her head twisted so that her thick pink hair hid her expressions. She wondered, as his over-amorous thrusts drove her into the mattress springs and raised protests from her spine, if he would ignore her again after this.
He muttered something in-between sharp breaths, as he dragged his tongue over her collarbone, pushing her shirt aside –
Shirt…?
Oh, lord...
She silently yowled in pain, Sasuke’s arm hooking under her knee. Thankfully flexible, her ankle rested easily on the porcelain skin as he sank in deeper than before. Oblivious to her pain, he was focused. Focused on the coiling in his gut, on that end that he could feel building in his stomach and clouding his head.
She was getting damper, accepting him easier as his uncertain but powerful movements joined them together.
He groaned…
His cock hit her womb...her body jerked in response.
He was leaning into her neck enough that there seemed to be no place he wasn’t touching her. Shirts were bunched between them…he hadn’t bothered to undress her all the way. In the books, the men always paid attention to the breasts, and it gave the female some sort of pleasure. But then, in the books, there was rarely pain and the characters always had some kind of mutual feeling between them.
Not this spur of the moment sex.
She wouldn’t admit that she had always liked Sasuke in one way or another, even when he’d tried to kill them, tried to ruin Konoha. Wouldn’t admit that she appreciated the closeness after years of trying to remember what human contact felt like. It wasn’t love. It was…a trade-off, maybe. Equivalent exchange. It was like alchemy.
She bit him. He scratched her. She pulled his hair. He moved hers from her face.
An eye for an eye.
Something about the way his movements became erratic…jerky…warned her. His forehead was slick, as was the palm that held her calf in place in his shoulder. His eyes looked into the distance at a promise only he could see. He seemed to have difficulty slipping easily in and out like before.
He had not used protection, and she had no form of birth control.
Hissing a warning into his ear, Sasuke’s slight grunt and slowed movements showed his understanding. He picked up his pace, as though she had awoken him from a trance. A rough hand made sure her shirt was bunched up high.
After a last few thrusts, he shifted her leg off of his shoulder at the same time as he withdrew, an expression akin to agony on his face. Somehow disappointed at his withdrawal, she could only stare at her barely visible lover as he moved up over her and pumped his length once, twice, before spilling pearly white essence over the smooth flesh of her abdomen.
Wide-eyed and silent, she stared into the room blankly as he collapsed beside her, breathing into her hair and touching it lightly.
“Sakura?”
A twitch of acknowledgement.
“…gomen.”
She had no idea what he meant. Told herself she didn’t care. In the days that followed, he would probably ignore her anyway. And when she did exist to him, she’d be Haruno Sakura again – decent, capable ninja by say-so only, no one important.
She told herself as he fell asleep beside her that in the morning, things would be okay. This would never have happened and she would be able to swallow this and pretend that she hadn’t attached a thread and broken it in one hit.
That this bittersweet emotion wouldn’t be there whenever onyx and emerald mixed.
- 1
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Bittersweet