Normality | By : Cepheus Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1540 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Cepheus: this is the prologue for a SasuNaru fic, only to
see if someone likes this plot; I hope people will read and enjoy. Beware it
will have heavy angst later on.
Note: the fic is Naruto–centric mostly.
Takes place after Sasuke and
Naruto’s fight in the Valley
of End. Sasuke was
rescued in this fic. So, this is an AT (Alternate Timeline).
……………………………………………
Rating: T
Summary:
(SasuNaru, NejiShika, eventually others) Naruto is trying to forget his former
team, busy in Chuunin missions. But as his past is left uncover and many of his
kind start to appear, old bonds are stretched to the maximum.
Warnings: yaoi, boy x boy relationship, angsty,
torture, and such. Mental as well. Flames will be used to warm up food. OC
warning as well.
Disclaimer: Not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does.
“Talking”
‘Thinking’
–Flashbacks,
memories, dreams–
……………………………………………
Normality
Prologue: Changes
No one spoke in the room as Tsunade finished her speech.
It wasn’t necessary to say something, the faces of the five teens were
already telling both her and Jiraiya what they were thinking about the shocking
news.
The Godaime Hokage and the Pervert Sannin stared at the faces of the
five ninja in front of them seriously, for once neither willing to ruin the
solemn aura, taking in their appearances. They looked so young, too young, as
if they didn’t belong here but in a playground, smiling and running around,
clueless. But their painful thoughts were useless now; it must have been
because the two of them were old, and reacted as if they were staring at
children instead of young adults.
Shinobi were trained from a young age to be skilled and emotionless, and
Tsunade and Jiraiya both knew it; even thought they didn’t approve it, they had
been through the same and were now fiercely reminded by the young teens sitting
there, shocked.
They had it even harder, in some way. Because they grew up in a war
time, when not even living was taken for granted. When no one was sure if there
would be a next day. Forced to mature when they should have been learning how
to live.
So it was stupid, how they stared at the five boys in front of them,
wondering where their childhood had gone. They were shinobi. They were bound to
be like this.
And still…
No one of them looked like a teen to her as Tsunade sighed, shifting the
weight of her head to her hands, elbows placed on the table. Though, their eyes
told her otherwise.
At her right, a blond boy that had never taken anything by granted; he’d
fought for everything he had, to prevent others from taking his security away.
He had watched as everyone turned their backs on him, watched as he lost
everything he gained, lost in the little game adults played to shun him out.
All of this because of things he couldn’t control, be it a seal placed on him
at his birth or a friend’s lust for power.
Naruto was no child. Not in his mind anyway, and it was clear seeing the
cheerful act he put up every single day. Something that could help him accept
and stand the pain he received.
Next was what to an inexperienced person’s stare could have appeared as
an overweight teen, but that indeed had faced a hard decision concerning his
life and death and had chosen the harder way to achieve a victory that would
have helped his team.
Chouji too had his problems, hidden under an uncaring exteriority so not
to be hurt.
The third was one people labelled as lazy and grumpy, caught in the need
to keep up with a family reputation he didn’t agree on, with an intelligence
that helped him develop battle strategies for a group of inexperienced ninja as
if they were elite jounin, and that could help him out of any difficult
situation.
His eyes too, were the ones of someone too old to be twelve. Shikamaru
could drop his laziness anytime for those he cared for, because he knew things
no boy should know.
Then there was the heir of the Inuzuka family. Hiding under a harsh
arrogance his insecurities, because being a ninja meant to show power and
determination… and any mishap could be punished hard if the mission was not
accomplished. And despite his loudness, he would still work in a group treating
anyone like a pack member, trusting and caring and protecting.
Kiba knew better than act around his duties.
Last of them was a pale teen with long dark hair, whose blank white eyes
were fixed on her with a hollow stare. Older than the other four, he held such
a coldness in his stance and soul that only Naruto had been able to warm him up
enough to show his real self inside, deep hidden among the abuse he went
through all his life –until he could not even think about life without saying
that Fate was the one ruling it all.
Neji had suffered equally, and still was standing.
They were all still standing.
And Tsunade felt like it would have been easier if they didn’t, if only
for her to not see their eyes. Hollow, and yet, still sparkling with life and
even hope. Because they were young. The young could still dream.
No matter what, they still hoped. And wished. And lived on, because
there was so much to fight for.
And that was enough… at least for now.
“Are you… kidding?” Naruto was the first to come out of his shock, and
to the surprise of everyone else, he was not yelling… instead his voice was so
low it was barely a whisper. It was like he was trying not to break the
silence, as if he was afraid it would shatter and reveal to him it was just a
dream.
Tsunade shook her head and smiled warmly at them, a forceful and strained
smile, but a true one. “What you accomplished is a great feat, you fought with
ninja that were at the Chuunin level, maybe even higher, and you all won… I
think you all deserve this”.
Jiraiya nodded, for once not looking a stupid but actually serious. He
was proud of them, really proud. Despite his previous thoughts, his distrust,
his scepticism, he was happy he had been wrong.
“I agree with Tsunade, you all deserve this,” he smiled.
Naruto blinked, his eyes flashing with something akin to fear.
Two weeks had passed ever since their return from the mission that
changed them, and now they were healed enough to be able to stand in Tsunade’s
office, many of them still wearing the signs of the wounds they had been healed
from.
When the Hokage had called them all in her office, the blond had known
something was going to happen, but this was the last thing he would have
expected.
“From now on, you will be considered Chuunin” Tsunade said, her tone one
of finality. “And Shikamaru, since you were already one, you will be given a
special mention. You are dismissed now”.
Naruto blinked again.
A Chuunin.
Tsunade had promoted him… all of them… Chuunin.
He stood up in a flash and ran away. He felt like he wanted to cry.
……………………………………………
The village was silent as he stared down from the Hokage mountain, eyes
lost as they traced every street, every passage, knowing all of them, feeling
oddly comforted by the fact that he could remember them anytime with no strain.
After exiting the Hokage’s office, Naruto was so confused and shocked he
didn’t even know where he was going. He just ran, fast. He was in a dazed
state, and when his swimming thoughts returned to the surface and he realized
where he was, he found himself on top of the mountain, standing on Sandaime’s
head.
This had always been his favourite spot, usually changing from one
Hokage’s head to the other, able to look from up above at the life that
continued below, as if admiring the fact that he wasn’t there, with all the rest
of the world, but in a secret place, higher, watching.
This time it was different. This time, he had no relief in seeing
everything go on like usual, he felt no odd sense of happiness in seeing how
everything looked so normal. Naruto stared down with frantic eyes as life
continued normally for the villagers, feeling somewhat left out. He felt as if
no one understood the danger they had been into.
He felt as if he wasn’t grasping on reality at all.
Now that he was sitting there, feeling the breeze curl around him, the
sun warming the back of his head almost comfortably, and his wounds had healed,
he felt as if he knew nothing of this village anymore. It all looked so false,
so… vain.
It looked as if he’d been away for years, instead of hours.
Everything was out of focus for him, when his mind was still back to the
fight. Two weeks since that day, the day in which he’d seen his hopes and
beliefs shatter in front of him by the sole person that had meant really
something to him… and now that he was out of the hospital, as well as the other
four of the rescue team, this had been his first visit to the Hokage mountain.
His friends were fine.
Their wounds had healed.
But for Naruto, something didn’t heal completely, if any at all.
The deepest wound couldn’t be repaired, the one in his soul; because
after everything, he still remembered the spirited eyes of Sasuke as he stabbed
the Chidori in his chest. Aiming for his heart.
He’d fought against his best friend that had wanted him to die. He had
let Kyuubi take control of his body. He had felt like he wanted to die.
Nothing could be the same ever again.
And now he stood there, staring at the village he had sworn to protect,
and it felt wrong. It was too normal. It was as if nothing had changed, as if
nothing… nothing had happened.
He felt like he could never go back to what he was before. Not now.
And the news that now he was a Chuunin… he felt a step closer to his
dream of becoming Hokage, but at the same time he felt he didn’t deserve it.
He didn’t want to be a Chuunin this way. He had done nothing to deserve
it.
Nothing at all.
Naruto sighed and thought about who was now resting in the hospital… the
one that was responsible for his friends’ almost death and the pain he felt.
The one that, despite everything, he’d taken back.
Sasuke.
The Uchiha had been healing slower than the rest. His wounds had been
even worse than Neji’s, even if not deathly, so it would take longer for him to
heal –Tsunade had commented that his cursed seal had been slowing down the
process too.
And he was guarded by ANBU, because they did not trust him anymore.
Naruto felt his heart clench.
He’d trusted the Uchiha with everything he had. He had thought Sasuke to
be almost a brother to him, someone he could trust, someone that cared, even
with his insults. It felt good.
He had felt warm.
And now, everything shattered down. Sasuke had renounced to his life,
his friends, his everything in order
to succeed with his revenge.
The sole thought of having to see him and even having to stay in the
same team with him made Naruto feel empty inside. He couldn’t… he simply
couldn’t make himself meet with the Uchiha.
Not anymore.
He didn’t want to look into those black orbs and know he’d tried to kill
him to progress further in his lust for power.
He had been weak. He hadn’t been able to stop Sasuke from leaving, and
even thought Tsunade had told him about the seal, he could not meet with him
again. he didn’t feel ready.
The cursed seal Orochimaru had placed on Sasuke’s neck, just like the
one Anko had, had been poisoning his mind, pulling him further into darkness,
making his anger stronger, his thirst for revenge even more bitter and painful.
It had been its fault if he’d tried to leave in the first place, and it
had been its fault if Sasuke had tried to kill Naruto.
But still, the blond felt it was his
own fault. He should have tried to help Sasuke. He should have tried to
understand him more, to take him away from Orochimaru’s clutches.
And now, he felt he would die if he were to meet with Sasuke. He could
not look in his friend’s eyes to see the hatred, or even the pity, or the
disgust, or any other emotion Sasuke could be feeling.
And, even though Naruto was trying hard to deny it, he felt angry and
betrayed too. Sasuke had thought he was important enough to be his best friend,
but then, he’d tried to kill him because of that.
The seal was to blame, but the seal only amplified what Sasuke had
inside. His desire for revenge was the only thing that mattered for him.
He felt he could not stare into the crimson eyes without thinking back
to it all. The anger and the guilt would never disappear, as long as he was
around him.
And he could not even think about seeing Sakura, either. She had been
worrying over Sasuke ever since they were back, but apart a grateful thanks,
Sakura had never visited him, nor his other friends.
Naruto knew it was not her fault, because she was in love with Sasuke,
and he had accepted that, plus he was used to be rejected by people. It was
nothing new, so he didn’t feel bad for it, instead he understood what she was
going through.
And even though he had brought Sasuke back, keeping his promise to her,
he felt like he’d failed as a friend, to both.
That’s why he too never visited any of them. He knew Sasuke would never
be let out of surveillance, at least not in the first period, when they were
trying to remove or at least control the seal he had. ANBU would be watching
him, and Naruto was also sure they would never let the Kyuubi holder in to see
the traitor.
He was a demon. Sasuke was a traitor. To the village elders, to have
them meet in such a situation, even though he had been the one to take Sasuke
back, would mean fuel rebellious instincts.
And for how stupid this sounded to Naruto, he could understand.
He didn’t visit Sakura either. She’d been allowed to see Sasuke, because
she was training under Tsunade as a medic–nin to be stronger, and besides, she
wasn’t a threat to the village. Naruto could see both his friends step further
away from him, out of his reach, where he could not follow them, and they could
not follow him.
Their lives were being drawn apart slowly, because of something they
could not control… and yet for how painful that thought was for Naruto, he
understood this was the better thing to do. He had to let go of them, and they
would realize this soon enough, and let go of him as well.
‘I can’t face them. I know it’s
cowardly, I know it’s a weakness… but I can’t. I’ve been hurt, they have been
hurt. We can’t stay together anymore, for the sake of us all,’ he thought, his heart clenching
painfully in his chest.
He would hurt them more, and they would as well. Sasuke would surely be
angry for having his chance at revenge negated by someone he thought as a
friend, and Sakura despised Naruto even though he’d taken her precious Sasuke
back.
It was a vicious circle, of hurt and betrayal. If one of them didn’t
break it, it would never end.
Blue eyes opened again, he didn’t even realize he’d closed them, and
stared again below his feet.
He knew what he needed to do. He had to speak with Tsunade, again.
……………………………………………
Kakashi stared down at the blond, showing nothing of what he was feeling
inside, but Naruto could still recognize his uneasiness.
It was clear, for someone that had known Kakashi for this long –Naruto
knew for how much he denied it, Kakashi had let them close more than anyone
else in a long time.
The visible eye was filled with something Naruto couldn’t really put a
name on, but that felt so familiar to him it was almost painful. His fingers
were clenching on the orange book so much the knuckles were white, and Naruto
could see the muscles were tense and his arms rigid.
He’d never seen Kakashi this troubled, not in the time he’d known him,
he was almost fidgeting.
The blond would have been amused, if he weren’t trying to hold back his
own sadness. Ok, he didn’t want to see Sasuke and Sakura anymore, knowing it
would be better for all the team if they were to be kept separated –after all,
Naruto would not drown in depression seeing everyday his failure as a friend,
and they would not be drained down with him.
They would surely be better off without him, not having to care anymore
for him… and he the same.
It could seem cold, but Naruto despite the pain inside him knew he was
doing the right thing. Moving on was the best thing for the three of them.
He had to fight hard against his heart yelling at him he was lying to
himself.
“So… that is it,” Naruto stared hard at the ground at his feet, not able
to look at his sensei’s face.
Kakashi felt a tug in his chest. This was not like it was supposed to
be. Everything was crumbling into nothingness and he had at least to show he
cared. Because up to now his pathetic attempt to look carefree and stoic had
only hurt his team –the first he’d passed.
They were supposed to be the thing he cared for the most.
They were supposed to be his family.
And he had not been able to protect them and prevent their downfall.
“Naruto, it’s not like we won’t see each other again,” Kakashi forced a
smile, even though the younger shinobi could not see it. “We will see each
other in the village, I will visit you and I expect you to visit me as well,
and… maybe you will be teamed up with me in a mission”.
Tsunade had accepted Naruto’s request. Usually, it had been like this
since forever, a three–cell team would stay together even if one or more
members turned of a higher rank –that only meant the higher rank would have
solo missions as well, or be put in other teams for some time– but sometimes,
things would change.
This was one of those times.
Naruto had asked to be taken away of team seven, and he’d been granted
his request. He knew he had to face Kakashi and say goodbye, but he hadn’t
expected it to be this awkward. He’d realized only now he cared for his sensei
just as much as he cared for Iruka or Tsunade.
For a moment, he had the sinking feeling he was doing something wrong,
but he pushed the feeling down, determined he was doing the best thing for
everyone.
The blond teen found the courage to look up, and was relieved to see
Kakashi was not angry at him. Despite his sensei didn’t pay him the attention
he’d wished for, he still respected Kakashi, and admired him.
Kakashi was startled when Naruto pulled him into a sudden hug, and was
too shocked to even shove him away. He was not comfortable with this much
contact with another person –a contact that wasn’t meant to kill or harm– and
he fidgeted until Naruto pulled away.
“I’m sorry, Kakashi–sensei… but I am happy you are not angry at me since
I…” ‘since I gave up on the team’ he
silently added.
Kakashi knew Naruto’s unspoken words and frowned. Naruto had been
strong, stronger than he would have believed him to be, and he wasn’t giving
up. Kakashi had long since realized his foolishness regarding the blond teen.
Naruto had been in need of a person to guide him, explaining and
teaching him, someone that could see behind his appearance as the village’s
fool, someone that could help him. Kakashi had failed as a teacher in this,
preferring to him the Uchiha prodigy… that had instead revealed to be nothing
but an avenger.
Sasuke had needed just as much attention as Naruto had, in another way,
but the silver haired jounin knew he shouldn’t have preferred one student over
another.
And now Naruto was happy because Kakashi was not angry with him… Kakashi
felt bad. He knew it should have been Naruto the one furious, not the other way
around.
“I am sorry, Naruto” he said, his voice steady and serious. “I failed
you as a teacher… because I preferred the Uchiha prodigy over my other
students”.
“No! Kakashi–sensei, you’re wrong!” Naruto shook his head and widened
his eyes. “I can’t lie and say I wasn’t angry at you for favouring Sasuke over
me, but I know why you did. He is a genius, someone who has great potential… I
was, and still am, nothing”.
Kakashi’s eyes grew cold hearing such words being spoken so carelessly,
as if the blond really believed that. Naruto felt worthless, even after
everything he pulled through…
“Naruto, you have a great potential, equal to the one Sasuke has. I was
wrong when judging you, and I want you to know that I am proud of what you’ve
become” Kakashi smiled, his visible eye sparkling. “I am sure you will become
the best Hokage Konoha has ever had”.
The smile he received from the blond made him feel both warm and cold
inside. Naruto was thankful for his words, although he really meant what he had
said, but Kakashi knew that despite everything they could say, he’d failed as a
teacher.
Naruto still looked up at him with respect, and Kakashi had let him down
too many times to count.
He only hoped he could remedy his mistakes.
Naruto was a surprising shinobi, and the copy–nin was sure he would keep
on surprising them.
“Sasuke has a bloodline and talent… but you, Naruto, have something
more” he concluded, ruffling the blond teen’s hair. “You work really hard” he
scratched his head, his eye smiling, “maa, don’t make
me repeat this ever again, it would ruin my reputation, ok?”
Naruto smiled broadly.
“Thanks, Kakashi-sensei…” and he meant it.
……………………………………………
Naruto shifted in bed, feeling the blanket rustle and brush against his
skin.
He felt cold.
Turning to his left, he stared silently at the sight outside his window,
admiring the night without speaking. He didn’t need to put up a cheerful
appearance when he was alone, and he could relax.
There were moments the silence was welcomed.
The night was dark over Konoha, the sky of a deep blue that tinged with
black, a few stars twinkling in the blanket of darkness, almost as if blinking
at him.
There was no moon.
Sighing, Naruto tried to brighten himself up. That morning he would
start doing missions with another group of Chuunin, he didn’t know yet who, and
he was restless.
He couldn’t calm himself down, for how much he tried. He wanted to jump
out of the bed and run to Sasuke’s hospital room, to see him, to confront him,
but at the same time he didn’t want to see him ever again.
He wasn’t one to hold grudges like this, or to admit defeat, this simply
wasn’t him, but this time it was different. Who cared about what he would or
wouldn’t do? No one really was inside his mind, no one really knew him.
Not at all.
He only wanted to be recognized, but he ended up being hurt over and
over, by the villagers, by the shinobi, even by his own close friends. Deluding
himself had only brought more pain, and Naruto for once wanted to be selfish
and think about himself.
He wanted to be respected, but he wanted someone that could care for him
even more.
He ached for someone that could stare at him and walk at his side, as an
equal, a friend, he wanted to be happy. Was that too much to ask for someone
like him?
He was running away, but for once, he would not feel bad about it, he
would not allow himself to.
The moment the sun would rise up, his new life would start.
Anew… without Sasuke.
……………………………………………
Cepheus: I wanted to try something new, plus, if I were to
start writing angst now, I would have ended lost in the darkness.
Short, I know. But it’s a prologue. Next chapter
will go further into everything, and explain more about everything.
Please, leave a review if you want me to
continue. Any comment is appreciated.
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