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Moonlighting	By : emmel Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1038 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Moonlighting
- 1
Disclaimer:
Naruto. Not mine.
Moonlighting
12:51
Hatake
Kakashi, a genius, had the normal share of psychological dysfunction inherent
in all humans, but his life experiences had given him moderation and a much
laid-back disposition to balance it all out. He still did have a penchant for
pissing people off, especially old students, but he considered that as another
of his exceptional talents, one he actually worked to polish, not the residual
character defects of his old uptight self. As a plain ol’ jounin, he had
given up the more stressful, more glorious, and more deadly lifestyle of the
more specialized ninjas. The thirty-something shinobi did do moonlighting once
in a while: ANBU missions, missions nobody wanted, etc (the bachelor had
nothing else to do and debauchery did get old sometimes).
Today, he
was assigned to brief three individuals. Uchiha Sasuke, one of those said
students he enjoyed pissing off, was already waiting for him at his first stop.
Kakashi regarded the young man’s dark expression.
“Wrong
Uchiha,” he said dryly.
“I’m
taking her place,” said Sasuke flatly.
“Let
me think,” the teacher answered. “No.”
“No?”
“Uh-huh.”
Kakashi leaned against the wall and began leafing through his tattered book.
“No. I don’t know anything about her mission except for what
I’m about to tell her. You know how that goes.”
“A
name and a place,” Sasuke said impatiently. “I know how that
goes.”
“Yes,
student mine. But you don’t know what do with that name and place, if I
do give it to you, do you?”
The young
man grunted then turned around and readied to leap back to his roof.
“That’s
right, Sasuke. Talk to the missus first. She doesn’t seem to respond well
to overprotectiveness, so you gotta adjust your game plan to be its most
persuasive.”
“I know
to which things my wife responds well.” Sasuke sniffed. “I’ll
be back in five minutes.”
“I’ll
send men after you in seven, then,” Kakashi quipped with a chuckle.
“Make sure you’re still alive.”
But the
Uchiha exited with his dignity intact, not deigning (not daring, more like it)
to field a sarcastic retort to his old sensei’s jibes.
==
Uchiha
Sakura had been running late. After coming home from her usual rounds in Konoha
Hospital, she had immediately gone into multi-tasking mode, juggling a
week’s worth of laundry to be washed, a couple of days’ set of
meals to cooked, and the third floor’s wooden panels to be polished.
Fifteen minutes to a mission briefing rendezvous, she was still lugging up a
basketful of newly pressed clothes to her children’s bedrooms when she
remembered about those obento she needed to refrigerate. Now, she had to carry
the basket of clothes all the way down and then—
Sasuke was
standing on her path.
“You’re
here,” she said, a little startled. “Mission finished early?”
She shifted her
basket and leaned towards him. Ungraciously, he allowed her to give the kiss on
an upturned cheek. She blinked in brief bemusement, then let it pass.
“I’ve
whipped up something in the kitchen, if you’re hungry. And, oh,
Machiko-chan needs help with her—”
“Machiko
needs to learn to ask for help herself.” He motioned up the stairway with
a curt movement of his head.
Sakura’s
eyes narrowed, glazed into the hardness of agate. “All right,” she
asked rather severely. “What’s the matter?”
Her
husband’s dark eyes rolled back to her direction. “Your kids will
be home soon.”
“And?”
Sakura tried not to let an arch smile rise to her face.
“You’ll
get tied up with goodbyes and get late for your mission.”
“I
already said goodbye to them.” In spite of herself, she was a little
disappointed by his reply. “This morning I did. And I asked Ino-chan to
look in on them in case you weren’t home yet.”
“I am
now.” He was climbing up the stairs. “I can take care of
home.”
What is it
with the pouty-Uchiha act, the mednin wondered. Aloud, she said,
“I’m not worried about home. I’m worried about you. I mean,
you’ve just come home from a mission, tired, filthy, and, you know, your
three kids can be such attention-whores... like certain people I know.”
Sasuke
deigned to turn and leveled an irritated frown at her. “You’re
wasting time.”
Oh, he was
challenging her, was he?
“Well,
since you’re here. I thought I could slow down a bit. Help me out a
little?” She gestured to the basket of clothes she had.
The reticent
man gave a long-suffering sigh and shuffled down to meet her.
“Oops,”
she said. The basket slipped from her grip and rolled down the wooden steps,
scattering clothes at its wake.
He returned
her look with an equally unreadable one. “With that?”
“No,
no, no.” She waved him away. “I don’t want to make it seem
like I’m foisting more housework on you.”
His stare
turned into a glare. “It seems to me you’re doing that
aforementioned attention-whoring.”
“Oh, I
thought you were already on it.”
“Was
I?” Sasuke’s eyes were dangerous.
“You
had your pouty pretty boy act going,” she pointed out.
“You
are dawdling,” came his flat reply.
But he
didn’t resist when she started kissing him.
“And
you failed to tell me about this mission in advance.”
“I did
not.” She nipped at an earlobe angrily. “I told you before you left
for your mission last Tuesday. It’s a reconnaissance one.”
“No
way to verify you really did, is there?”
She
didn’t answer that. She was too busy dismantling his utility belt. Kunai
randomly flew and landed on several conspicuous spots on the landing
downstairs. The trajectory of his bag of explosives somehow went awry and a
small explosion shook the house.
“There’s
a fire—” He hissed as a shuriken narrowly missed the area where his
abdomen met his groin. “—in the living room.”
“Houses
are equipped with sprinklers in Konoha.” His vest was on the floor now,
with the pieces of what was formerly his fishnet undershirt. She was lavishing
attention on his chest, scattering subtle kisses on the hardened planes, then
going down on her knees as she dipped low—not quite low enough.
“Most of the buildings here are
wooden.”
“And
that was your antique curio exploding.” He had pulled her up, in spite of
himself, and was muzzling her with equal temerity, lapping on her neck like a
little boy sampling candy. “And your collection of vases.”
“Five
S-Class missions this month. Buy me new ones.”
“You’ve
had six. Buy them yourself.”
“Speaking
of which, I need to go work, Sasuke-kun.” She breathed regretfully, as
his lips grazed pasture a little lower than her neck, as his hands explored the
hills and valleys of her body. “Kiss me goodbye now.”
“Not
quite yet.”
But he
kissed her all the same and there was nothing about the kiss that even mildly
suggested he intended to let her go soon.
Impishly satisfied,
Sakura dragged him upstairs.

====

The seven
minutes deadline loomed in his thoughts like a death sentence. No, no... Worse
than that. It was an impending execution, the guillotine that would fall at
daybreak, something equally cheesy and impressive. It was
distracting—though not in an entirely bad way.
It was
something that kept him adhered to sanity, something that kept him from
snatching control and dictating the pace, something that kept him from imploding in premature ejac
ecstasy. The sense of urgency warring with the thrilling fear of being caught
in the act kept him occupied, sort of like mentally reciting all the jutsu he
had ever encountered.
Kakashi’s coming. Kakashi’s
coming. Kakashi’s coming. Kakashi’s—No, no, no!
The mantra was
too much of a nasty pun. Sasuke wanted to barf.
Wait, you perverted bastard. You wait!
I’m coming already. I’m coming soon. Wait. I’m coming!
And that
wasn’t much of an improvement either.
Damn, but
she had to hurry, had to speed it up a little. The excruciating torture was
pleasurable, all right, but there’s also that disgusting man forced to
spend his dotage as a spectator hovering outside. There’s no way
Sasuke’d let that Icha-Icha toting pervert ogle his wife’s womanly
curves... even if it did only involve her gracefully sculpted back or the swell
of her undulating hips. (“Latissimus dorsi,” she had purred once,
as she teased the tensed muscles of his back. “Gluteus maximus,”
while squeezing his behind. Even the tiniest details of that...session stuck,
as he had rarely been the captive in any encounter.) Irrationally, he included
the idiot who designed their room with such wide-spanning windows in his
internal diatribe. He had to hurry... Hurry!
But–!
He must be
sly. He must be careful. He had pulled off the seduction very smoothly,
innocently given her the reins in their spontaneous little lovemaking in the
middle of that balmy afternoon. Couples did that a lot in Konoha, as in many
ecosystems—it was spring. She
must not suspect a thing.
Oh, but he
wanted to linger, to savor each touch, each contact. The feel of her engulfed
him, yes, drove him near insensate with the swell of sensations, and the sight
of her was beyond intoxicating. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted,
her cheeks blushed a vivid red to counterpoint the pale pink of her tresses.
She breathed steadily and in cadence with her beguiling movements. Her neck was
arched wantonly, her shoulders and arms tensed, and the succulent fruits of Eden being offered to her
one and only Uchiha-sama were—
Damn it!
Sasuke swore
as he sensed Kakashi alighting on their veranda, a wild stab of excitement and
fierce jealousy snapping his control. He overpowered her easily; she squeaked
in surprise when he flipped her under him, her green eyes widening with a dash
of uncertain awe. Delving into her once, deeply, he finished it. She gasped his
name and surrendered to her release.
Sasuke
didn’t indulge in his. Or rather, he wasn’t able to. Right on cue,
the picturesque windows Sakura always loved were swept open to usher in two
masked men.
The pair in
bed were breathing hard, but Sasuke could definitely hear the pervasive silence
every where else. Viciously satisfied, he was sure their unwelcome guests found
it deafening.
“We...”
croaked one.
“...heard
the commotion,” finished the other weakly.
“Now
you’ve seen it,” snapped Sasuke. “Mission accomplished.”
“A-affirmative,
sir.”
The two
disappeared. Sasuke silently watched his wife as she tried regulate her
breathing. Her face was flushed, but he knew it was still from the rather
truncated passion they’ve just shared rather than embarrassment. She was
probably still too dazed to be mortified by what just happened.
He
didn’t wait for her to recover.
Vowing to
extract payment for his pains—and his junior’s—he kissed her
in between gasps of breath, panted an apology, and rolled off her. He left her,
still drunk with euphoria, her modesty protected by a thin sheet of pristine
white.
Sasuke loved
his pristine sheets. Sasuke loved his pretty wife. And Sasuke definitely hated
the man who was responsible for the interruption and the indignity caused by
the two ANBU trainees. Luckily, vengeance happened to be something he had a lot
of experience in.
It was a
dish, they say, best served cold.

====
Sakura
couldn’t even sit up to admonish him for his sudden departure. As with
many shinobi families, their missions had been planned in advance and as much
as possible with no high-ranking ones overlapping one another. This particular
mission was actually slated for Sasuke, but she had volunteered to take over it
in fairness to him. Trust the man to take it back from her with so underhanded
a method.
She
couldn’t quite move, try as she might, so she just rolled over to snuggle
deeper into their hedonistically fluffy pillows. Actually, she could still run
after the insufferable man. Just because she melted like goo when he did things
like that to her didn’t mean she couldn’t beat his ass whenever she
wanted to.
“Mother.”
Sakura’s
green eyes appeared above the flimsy sheet’s edge. Equally green eyes
stared back at her from a pale face framed by ebony black.
“Father’s
home?” the six year-old asked earnestly.
“Was,
dearest,” came her mother’s dry reply. “He just left.”
“I
thought so.” Machiko sighed deeply. “I guess, I’ll have to
ask you to help me with my advanced shuriken lessons. Father’s so much
better than you at it and the twins just make fun of me.”
Sakura
choked with indignation. This child—!
“But I
still love you, mother.” The diminutive child beamed a smile at her: sweet,
innocent, and utterly impish. “Even though you do tend to be
destructive,” she added, as she skipped out the room. “I’m
glad you didn’t go to that long, far away mission. I miss you at
nights.”
Well, that
pretty much decided things.
Sighing,
Sakura got up, dressed, and headed downstairs to luxuriate on some serious
mothering.
“Sasuke
no baka,” she murmured.
=====
Sasuke no
baka, meanwhile, was just coming into Kakashi’s presence.
“What
the hell are you doing here?” he demanded. It wasn’t the most intelligent
question he had ever posed, but considering how much ‘irritated’
was an understatement right now...
“Well,”
Kakashi mildly began. “First I was going to greet your two boys coming
home from school, but then I decided I needed to put out the fire in your house
first. And oh, you’re late by fifteen minutes.”
“Sorry
I’m not exactly overwhelmed with gratitude right now,” growled
Sasuke sarcastically. “It’s not everyday ANBU trainees walk in on
you while you’re making love with your wife.”
“Who
happens to be the old genin cellmate you periodically disparaged as a pubescent
avenger,” finished Kakashi with a crinkled grin that was creepily. .
. romantic. “Jiraiya-sama
would love that detail. It’s the stuff of sweeping epics, I tell you. And
no, I didn’t see anything. I wasn’t referring to your amorous
little interlude when I said there was a fire in your house.”
“Can I
kill him?”Sasuke bared his teeth savagely.
“No.”
Naruto, who had just arrived, placed a steadying hand on his friend. “He
still owes me. And why are you here? I thought it was Sakura-chan coming with
me.”
“He was spying on us!”
The
Rokudaime blinked with sudden understanding. “Oooh...” he said.
“I can’t believe you really did blackmail Sakura-chan with
sex.”
“Did?”
Sasuke shifted his glare to his Hokage. “What’s going on
here?”
Naruto
scratched his head. “I think you’ve been had,” he said
hesitantly. “I think this mission was really for you, but you
wouldn’t have agreed, and they all fixed it so you would have to, because
we need your Sharingan for the mission.”
“I
think he’s a perverted bastard,” Sasuke replied flatly, pointing a
thumb at their old sensei.
“Well,
that’s true, too, but that’s why he’s along in this mission.
Tsunade-obaachan and Shikamaru planned this. Something about the fetishes of
this dude I’m supposed to be meeting with. Something about dark-haired
triplets. Kakashi-sensei?” The blond looked at the older man expectantly.
“Dark-haired
triplets?” Sasuke repeated in disgust. “So this pervert did lie to
me earlier about not knowing anything about this mission. Which means
he’s lying about not having seen anything.”
“Don’t
be silly,” Kakashi chided. “Watching students get it on isn’t
particularly appealing, you know. And seeing your backside isn’t as a
great an experience as most of the village girls seem to think. Just not my
type of thing.”
“Fuck
you.”
“Rokudaime-sama...”
Kakashi complained.
Naruto
sighed. It was not one of the aspects he particularly enjoyed about his new set
of responsibilities. “Sasuke,” he began.
“I’m
listening,” muttered the former avenger.
“Remember
that technique I made up when we were kids?”
“Remember
I was fixated with a few other things?” retorted the Uchiha.
“Kakashi-sensei...”
pleaded the new Hokage. “I’m really not like you or Ero-sennin. I
don’t think I can tell him.”
Kakashi just
sighed. People always misunderstood him. Even these two, his almost little
brothers.
“Okay,
Sasuke,” he began. “For today’s S-class mission, you’ll
be learning the Oiran no jutsu.”
Hell pretty
much broke loose that day, but it wasn’t as if Sasuke had any choice on
the matter. Whether or not Uchiha Sasuke did transform into dark-haired
triplets and successfully stole forbidden ninjutsu from the odious leader of
the Sandalwood nins using seduction techniques taught by the Copy Ninja,
we’ll never know. The Avenger (having no one else and no other way to
vent on the injustice of it all) did go home to rain prolonged and repeated
vengeance upon his poor wife, who swore her innocence to each exhilarating end.
(Nara Shikamaru, famed tactician, was obliged to take the Uchiha children in
for a fortnight as part of his apology. The Godaime grudgingly gave them the
two weeks off.)
Naruto,
profoundly disturbed by the experience, issued an edict that virtually erased
the entire incident from the village records.
As for
Kakashi... Well, that was why Kakashi kept signing up for moonlighting
missions. They were always the most interesting ones.
~23:30
050106
- 1
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Moonlighting