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Stranger than the Wild	By : kiddattwell Category: Naruto > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 30155 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I don't make any money off of it.

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Chapter 9

Naruto

Naruto blinked into lucidity, looking up at the wooden beams on the ceiling. He stretched and glanced around the room through blurry morning light. Something was wrong.

He stood up, scratched his stomach, used the bathroom, walked to the kitchen and boiled some water, all the while knowing that something was amiss. It was the fifth day in a row he’d woken up in an empty house with the feeling that he had missed something very important. It was uncomfortable, a queasiness that burned in his gut, just this side of being painful and it was growing stronger by the day. He could count the times in his life that he had had this particular feeling and none of them were good moments for him.

Naruto pulled on his black jacket, the cuffs a bit too tight around his wrists, the hem too short on his midsection. He had wilderness survival skills to teach to the young academy students and then a genin team that needed some one-on-one training while they waited for a real sensei to step up and lead them full-time. His mind, though, was at the hospital where Sakura was spending all of her time, and with Sasuke while he was chasing down some nasty rogue nin that had been taking advantage of all the traveling merchants bringing much needed supplies into Konoha.

The quiet of the empty house should have helped him think, but it actually did the opposite. Naruto didn’t like to be alone with his thoughts, preferring to ponder things aloud, usually with someone to bounce ideas off of. Ero-sennin used to be good for that, and Sakura, too. But every time he saw her, she seemed to be giving off a weird vibe.

Naruto knew he wasn’t the best at reading people; he only seemed to realize there was a major problem when someone was punching him, like Sasuke. Or if they were acting very strange, like when Sakura confessed to him all those years ago.

Naruto paused mid-way as he shut the front door. Sakura and Sasuke were both acting strange. They weren’t coming home. Naruto hadn’t seen Sasuke since he had accepted a mission and took off four days ago, leaving only a note explaining where he had gone. Sakura said that her parents were nagging her to visit them more, but she didn’t usually stay with them for days on end, did she? He had never lived with her before all this, so he had no idea, but it seemed… odd. Especially when she was pulling full days at the hospital. Why would she agree to travel so far out of town day after day if there wasn’t something going on?

Naruto leaned his head against the door frame, trying to think. A sort of rough calculation was forming in his head, but all the elements buzzed around, incomplete. Finally, he groaned and slammed the door shut before he leapt away from the house, landing in the middle of the dusty street. He continued to grumble as he made his way to the academy, his chin tucked into his chest. It was useless trying to figure it out, he decided. The only thing he could do was find Sasuke or Sakura and ask what was happening. Trying to guess just made the feeling in his stomach worse.

** ** **

It had been a long morning. Naruto had to accept the fact that maybe he wasn’t too great at teaching. Kakashi-sensei made it look easy- he read his books, told them who should hide where during missions and occasionally, on rare occasions, showed them a technique or two to try for themselves. Now he had no idea how the masked ninja pulled it off.

The kids had been happy enough, at first. Naruto felt a small swell of pride when the kids cheered as he walked into the class room. But after a couple fights broke out over who got to walk next to him as they tumbled out into the forest, Naruto thought that maybe his current popularity was more of a deficit to his teaching abilities rather than an asset. After that, well… some of the kids tried hard, but most of them just complained and, as they began to fall into each other’s traps and trip over their own knots, it became more like wrangling a herd of really stupid and clumsy monkeys into a sack than teaching future ninja. When they came back inside, Iruka-sensei got one look at his tired face and grinned from ear to ear. Naruto glared at him. Even with all of his pranks, he was certain he had never been that much trouble. He’d wanted to be Hokage someday, after all.

The morning had been enough to distract him for a while, but as soon as he set out to lunch, his mind was back on Sakura and Sasuke. To avoid drawing things out any longer, he had decided to visit Sakura at the hospital for lunch, but when he got there, she was in the middle of teaching a bunch of healers some chakra technique that he’d never seen before. When she saw him standing in the door (a few of the healers had been taking turns staring at him over her shoulder) she smiled so beautifully that he almost forgot why he’d came. She called a break for the healers and walked over to the doorway where he waited.

“I’ve got to keep this rolling for another hour at least. Sorry,” Sakura said, “I would have planned for the class to start earlier if I knew you wanted lunch.”

“It’s ok. Will I see you tonight?” Naruto asked, his eyes drinking in the short pink puff of her ponytail, her skin against her white and red hospital clothes, as though they’d been sore without her.

She looked hesitant, glancing back at her class for a moment and dithered, “Well-“

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Naruto said suddenly, “Sasuke’s been gone on a mission, so you can use his new mattress, if you want.”

Naruto didn’t know where the words came from. He didn’t know he was going to say them before they came out. But when they did, he couldn’t help but see Sakura’s expression as it changed from startled, to a slight frown, to an uncomfortable smile.

“Did he really say that, or are we just taking liberties with his bedroom?” Sakura asked, her green eyes turning up to meet his with an impish expression. It was the first time they’d made eye contact since he arrived, he realized.

“Liberties, of course,” Naruto smiled, and he noticed it felt fake.

“Well, if it’s to annoy Sasuke with you, I’ll definitely make sure I come home tonight,” she said, and glanced back at the healers who were chatting amongst themselves, “I’ll see you later.”

“Ok. Bye,” he said, running off to meet his genin team with a hollow feeling in his chest.

** ** **

“Bye bye, Naruto-sensei!” Miya-chan shouted as he parted with her on the way home. He felt a small bubble of joy floating up through him. Naruto-sensei, he thought, and chuckled to himself.

There was a vast difference in genin and academy students and it was with a spring in his step that he walked home. He had shaken off his doubts about Sakura after some time with the kids.

Whenever one of them spouted off about whatever was on their mind or got into a stupid argument just to have it resolved in twenty seconds, he thought, Ah. That’s just like us. Even though they bickered almost as much as the academy kids, there was a deeper bond there. The heart of the team had already begun beating and kept them pulled together, making them rely on each other without meaning to.

Naruto decided he would ask Sakura about her behavior when he got home and everything would be fine, like it always was. There was no need to suspect anything or be guarded. He thought, with another chuckle, that maybe he had been spending too much time with Sasuke and his broodiness was rubbing off on him.

As he walked home, he glanced into a few shops, wondering if he should pick something up. Most restaurants tended to add extra food on to his order, so even if he only used his rations, he could probably still get enough for both himself and Sakura. But he decided to wait for her to see what she wanted. Maybe they could go out, just the two of them.

He was practically giddy when he tried to throw open the front door, only to find it locked.

“Keh…! Open up,” he grumbled, shaking at the handle. He scowled at the knob, but ended up walking around to the backdoor beside the bathtub, only to find it locked as well.

“What’s going on?” he whined, when the door suddenly opened in front of him.

“Did you lose your key?” Sasuke asked, glowering at him as he blocked the doorway.

“Uh… no, teme. I just left it unlocked, so I didn’t bring it,” Naruto said, trying to recover from his shock, “So you’re home, then?”

“I just got back. Half the windows were open and the doors were all unlocked,” he said, but Naruto didn’t have the energy to deal with his complaints and his worry that Sakura would be back any moment and he hadn’t had a chance to talk to her yet. And worse, she might think he had lied about Sasuke being on a mission just to get her home. He pushed past Sasuke, leaving the door open behind him.

“You didn’t say anything before you left,” Naruto said absently as he kicked off his sandals. He heard Sasuke shut the door behind him and the sound of the lock sliding into place.

“I would have talked to you about locking up before I left if I’d known you were so lax about it,” Sasuke said, an edge of challenge to his voice. Naruto turned to look at him.

I’ve seen him worse, Naruto thought as he gave him a once over. His face seemed fine, his body language was tense, but tense was normal for Sasuke.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, “Did you get a head injury while I was gone?”

Naruto scowled. The bastard was as pleasant as ever. Maybe it wasn’t so strange that Sasuke had gone off without telling them.

He shook his head, glad that he’d already found his resolve. It made talking to Sasuke feel normal, even if he had been surprised to see him.

“No, teme. I just have a lot on my mind. Are you worried about me?” Naruto asked, simpering and leaning toward him. Sasuke glared at him in response. All was right in the world.

“Where’s Sakura?”

“At the hospital. Are you gonna lecture her about the locks too? She’s the one who opens the windows all the time, by the way,” Naruto said, plopping down on his sleeping bag with a thump. “When are we getting some furniture in here, anyway? Did you get your pay when you stopped at headquarters?”

Sasuke sat down on Sakura’s sleeping bag, his elbow curled around one knee. He unwound his hiate from his forehead and massaged his brow.

“Why does it matter to you? I thought you two were getting side-by-side apartments.”

“You’re a friendly bastard, you know that? Are you honestly going to pretend that you’d rather live alone?”

“I’ve lived most of my life alone and that’s how I like it,” Sasuke said, laying back on the sleeping bag and closing his eyes. His equipment pouches were still hanging off his belt loops and he tugged at the ties without looking at them. Naruto briefly caught sight of the side of Sasuke’s wrist from under his sleeve and saw dark, brownish flecks that he immediately recognized as dried blood.

“Why don’t you take a bath,” Naruto said. Sasuke didn’t open his eyes or acknowledge him. Naruto pressed, “You should do it now before it gets even colder out.”

“Are you saying I stink?” Sasuke asked, finally opening his eyes to level an evil look in his direction.

“No. But it was a long mission and you are laying on Sakura’s bed. Not that she’d mind if it smelled like you, Sa-su-ke,” Naruto drawled, then grimaced. If someone asked him to list his hobbies, he’d probably say pranks, ramen and annoying Sasuke. But his comment had been a barb back at him, too.

Cut it out, he chided himself, I’m just going to be me.

Thankfully, Sasuke didn’t seem to be looking at him as he rolled to his feet and walked to the back door.

Good, Naruto thought, He’s actually listening to me for a change. Naruto followed him outside, chattering as they went, “Your mattress came in… And the plumber came by while you were gone, by the way. Did you forget you made an appointment? He was really pissed that he missed you. He wanted to measure stuff, but I didn’t know where you wanted everything, so I couldn’t help him. He said you have to stop by the shop and set another appointment for him to come out.”

Sasuke said nothing, turning on the hose to fill their make-shift metal-drum bathtub.

“I think he was ex-ninja or something. He seemed kinda buff… But he also looked like he could move fast, you know what I mean? But if he’d ever been a ninja I would have seen him at some point, so I kind of doubt he was. Do you remember the guy I’m talking about? Red hair with about thirty tattoos that you talked to last week? He always wears those big chains around his neck and he’s kind of dad aged?”

For an answer, Sasuke threw his shirt at him and scowled, “Are you ever quiet?”

Naruto balled it up and threw it back at him, “Do you ever speak except to spout off depressing bullshit about what a cool loner you are?”

“At least I’m telling the truth,” Sasuke said with an expressionless look on his face that Naruto thought was worse than the scowl.

“I think there’s a big different between the truth and just saying whatever comes to into your head in the moment,” Naruto replied, “It might sound like honesty, but it’s not what you really feel on the inside.”

Sasuke smirked, “You’re such a hypocrite.”

“Look,” Naruto exclaimed, bounding over to him and grabbing his arm. Sasuke tried to tug it away, but Naruto was already bending it, shoving it close to Sasuke’s face, “You’ve still got someone’s blood on you. But instead of talking to me about it and getting it off your back, you’re just holding it in and picking a fight.”

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but Naruto cut him off, “And don’t even tell me that that’s just the way you are because you told me you wanted to change. And you were changing. But then you left home without any warning and now that you’re back your attitude is all bratty again. And… you… You made me worry when you left without saying anything! I know you left a note, but…”

Sasuke snatched his arm out of Naruto’s grasp and walked over to the tub. After thirty seconds of frogs chirping in the field behind the house and the sound of water splashing into the tub, Naruto’s temper got the better of him.

“Don’t ignore me, teme-“

“I’ve realized,” Sasuke said calmly, “That I might not be able to act the way you want me to act… That I can’t live up to your expectations of friendship.”

“…What are you saying?” Naruto asked, even though he understood Sasuke’s words far too well. Naruto’s heart was pounding and he was trying not to just give into his temper and just start a punching match with the dark eyed boy in front of him. To have to deal with this problem again after he had been worried all day… he was almost at his limit.

Sasuke scowled, “What do you mean, what am I saying? I can’t be the person you think I should be, not for you and not for anyone else. I can’t force myself to get along with you guys anymore. Can I be any clearer?”

Forget punching; Naruto thought strangling might be more satisfying. Struggling for words, Naruto sputtered, “Where… just… where is this coming from? How can you be fine, then disappear for a few days, then come back and be like this? What the fuck is that?”

Naruto’s voice steadily rose until he was shouting. Weirdly enough, Sasuke looked almost as angry as he was. What, did he think Naruto was just going to say, Sure, that’s fine. Let’s not do the friendship thing, and walk away?

“Naruto,” Sasuke growled, taking a step forward, his hands clenched into fists. Naruto balled his fists as well, but then Sasuke stopped. He dropped his hands and they fell loose at his sides. His face calmed into an empty mask and after he regained his composure, he spoke.

“I’m… messed up. All the things I saw, all the things I did, they changed me. Even if I stick around and try to force this, it’s never going to be right. It will always be… hard,” Sasuke closed his eyes for a long moment before he continued, “Let’s stop now and end it. I want to do it the right way this time.”

“This isn’t the right way,” Naruto shot back immediately, “There is no right way. When people love you, you don’t leave them behind like they’re nothing. And this whole thing about my ‘expectations’ is bullshit. I don’t care what kind of sullen bastardy mood you’re in or the pissy comments or the fighting. I just want you around!

“And you know something? Even if everything you said was true, maybe I just want to be selfish! Maybe I want you to stay around for me! Despite yourself! Did you ever think of that? After all we’ve been through, can’t you at least do that for me?

“You’ve tried to take away or destroy everything I’ve ever loved at one point or another. Kakashi-sensei, Sakura, Konoha, you. I’m surprised you’re not telling me you want to be Hokage right now,” Naruto snarled, “Can’t you just do something for me because you know how I feel about you? Even if it’s hard, can’t you just try a little more?”

“You don’t know how it feels,” Sasuke said. It was almost a whisper. He had his palm pressed against his forehead.

Naruto shouted, “OF COURSE I KNOW HOW IT FUCKING FEELS! I-”

“It hurts!” Sasuke said, his voice ragged, “I can’t- I don’t want this in my life! Do you hear me?” Suddenly, he gripped Naruto’s arms and shook him, “I don’t want you and your speeches! I don’t want Sakura looking over my shoulder! I hate how kind you two try to be all the time, how you hover! I just want to be left alone!”

Despite the dropping temperature and the cold, wet air wafting the smell of the untamed acreage behind the house over their skin on a breeze, they were both sweating.

Sasuke’s grip on Naruto’s arms loosened. As his hands fell, Naruto’s rose. Sasuke flinched, his arms bent against Naruto’s chest as he was pulled in to his arms.

“-off,” Sasuke mumbled. Naruto ignored him. He was ready to feel some kind of punch or throw, but Sasuke leaned passively against his shoulder where he held him. Naruto’s arms were shaking- he was holding on to him as hard as he could. His dark hair, so much coarser than Sakura’s, brushed his cheek. He could feel the sweat on Sasuke’s back under his hands.

“Maybe this is too much,” Naruto found himself saying after a long while, “We were on that mission for over a month and together the whole time. Now me and Sakura have invaded the Uchiha domain… Maybe you just need some time to collect yourself, ne?” Naruto relaxed his hold to pat Sasuke’s back, “It’s ok that we’re not the same, teme. I just need to meet you in the middle. It’ll be ok. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

As Naruto babbled more platitudes, he desperately tried to calm himself. His heart was hammering in his chest. He was doing his best not to breathe heavy. He had never been afraid of Sasuke in a physical fight, but he could sure scare the life out of him in other ways.

He heard shuffling in the yard and saw pink through the thin slats between the fence posts. Sasuke must have heard it as well because he finally started to push away from him. Naruto let him go and he backed up, running his hand over his face again. Expressionless Sasuke was back, Naruto thought with a jump in his stomach. He took a deep breath in and let it out. When he found one breath wasn’t enough, he did it again.

Sakura gasped and jumped a bit when she opened the fence to find them standing there, staring at her.

“W-what are you…” her eyes fell on to Sasuke and her mouth dropped open. Naruto saw her face go as pink as her hair, then lose color. Every emotion on her face was clear in that moment, to him. Sakura, who was usually so hard for him to read, hid nothing today. Suddenly, everything his mind had been trying to avoid, every thought he hadn’t wanted to think, was clear.

“Sorry,” she said when she recovered from her initial shock, “The front door was locked and I didn’t bring my key, so I thought I’d just go around.”

When they said nothing, she looked nervously at both of them and said, “Well, I’ll just get out of your way…”

“Ah, no, Sakura-chan. It’s ok,” Naruto said, his voice catching in his throat as he spoke, “I just… well, Sasuke just got back, but… we’re both feeling a bit sick is all.”

“Sick?” she asked, her voice strengthening. Suddenly she was someone else, someone who fixed “sick”.

“Yeah, just... uh,” Naruto floundered and chanced a peek at Sasuke, but it looked like Sasuke was determined not to say anything or look at anybody.

“If it’s illness and not an injury, I can’t offer any instant cures, but I can definitely make you both more comfortable. Let me take a look at you.”

Sakura stepped back outside and gave them both a hard once-over and exclaimed, “You’re both sweating… and pale. Come inside. You shouldn’t be standing out in the cold, even if you’re feeling feverish.”

The lights inside the house seemed dimmer than usual to Naruto as Sakura shooed them inside. After all the arguing, with Sasuke scaring him and Sakura delivering the final blow, everything had a surreal film over it. The floor and the walls were blurry and a bit gray. Feeling like he was dreaming, Naruto watched Sakura as she went through the motions of being a healer. She didn’t break her mask again, but the memory of it burned like hell. Though his eyes had dulled, his mind raced between ideas of what might have happened and why it affected them both so much that all they could do was avoid each other.

Unless… they were actually just trying to avoid him.

“Naruto…? Are you feeling worse? You’re so quiet,” Sakura said, her face close to his. She leaned in, trying to press her cheek to his face, but to his own surprise, he found himself gripping her shoulders, holding her away from him.

After he realized it, he managed a smile just in time. “Not so close… I don’t want you sick,” was Naruto’s excuse. Sakura stared at him hard. He stared back into her green eyes as well as he could.

Naruto thought of the last five days with both of them gone, the worry that made him act like he was someone else, someone who was scared to see the truth. But his defenses had been torn down and it was so obvious that he couldn’t block it out anymore.

Despite whatever her intentions were toward him, Sakura loved Sasuke. Something had happened and they were all denying it so hard that it was tearing the team apart.

I can’t lose them, he thought frantically, I won’t lose them. How the hell do I keep from losing them?

But the answer had already begun to descend on him like the shadow of a hungry beast.

Sakura was rambling away to Sasuke. He wasn’t speaking, but she seemed determined to fill the silences. Naruto interrupted her.

“Ne, Sakura-chan, I think I’ll just go to bed. And I was thinking that maybe I’d sleep in Sasuke’s room. Keep the two of us in quarantine.”

“Well… it’s not a terrible idea… Maybe you could share the bed, stay off the cold floor.”

“If it’s teme’s bed, it’ll still be cold,” Naruto said. At least insults still came naturally to him in times of stress. Probably because of all the practice.

Sasuke didn’t say anything, so Naruto walked over to him and pulled him by the arm. He didn’t resist that either, and Naruto couldn’t help but notice the surprise on Sakura’s face.

Will I always be this hyper aware of how she looks? If I had noticed stuff like this before, would it have been better for us all? There was no small amount going on in his head as he padded barefoot atop the wooden floors, but the last thought he had stuck:

Why was it so hard to let go of something that was never really his in the first place?
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Stranger than the Wild