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Love Me When I'm Gone	By : KittenCobra Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1971 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (the manga or anime) or any of the characters included within it. I only own the original characters in this story including the main character Utako Mizuke. I do not make any form of profit off of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
9. Confession
I look at Gaara’s impassive expression across from me. The four of us are now sitting in armchairs, each on one side of the square room. There seems to be an air of an invisible conference table between us. I speak into his thoughts.
“What do you want me to tell them?” I ask, and I can feel his surprise, but it does not register on his face. He remembers for a brief moment hearing Shukaku speak to him in his mind. This sensation which is so foreign to most people, is oddly familiar for him. “I don’t think they will believe we have no relationship at this point. They have already seen too much. You act too differently towards me.”
He thinks seriously about my question for several moments. I can see the answer he wants to give to their question of who I am. It’s not entirely the truth, not entirely a lie, but much more simple than our complicated agreement. I nod softly, granting him permission.
“She is my lover.” His statement is matter-of-fact; no shame, and no denial.
Kankuro and Temari both stiffen at his declaration. Kankuro expected this answer, yet his reaction is tinged with… disappointment? Temari did not – and hers is colored darkly with fear. She turns to me with wide eyes, taking in the bruises on my body once again.
Oh no... her thoughts whisper, What has he done to her? He doesn’t understand pleasure and pain… the fear in her mind is growing and accompanied by heartache. I don’t like the dark path her thoughts are turning towards, so I decide to interrupt them.
“Yes,” I confirm his statement and smile to reassure her. “Gaara has been very kind to me. He has sheltered me from the cold for many nights now. I truly appreciate his… tenderness towards me.”
Kankuro snorts in mock disgust at his brother. “Yeah… I imagine it must be really difficult for him. Poor Gara.” Gaara glares back at Kankuro in response. Temari takes a deep breath, and tries to organize her thoughts.
“How long has this been going on?” she asks.
I look to Gaara again. I want him to be in control of our responses. It will make him more comfortable, and I do not want to provoke his anger again.
“Not long,” he replies in monotone. “She came to me after our confrontation in the courtyard. She expressed her interest in me, and I accepted her as my lover. We spend our nights together, nothing more.”
“Sounds simple enough,” Kankuro mutters. I am surprised to find his thoughts are jealous. He has thought of me often since I kissed Gaara in the courtyard that afternoon. I remember considering him as my first target for a guardian, and feel slightly guilty.
Temari’s thoughts are still reeling from the implications of this. Gaara… a lover? She knows his discomfort with physical contact. She has never seen him touch anyone willingly much less the intimate caresses required from a sexual relationship. She considers the love in her own life; a young shinobi from the leaf village named Shikamaru. I am surprised to see that she has kept this love a secret from everyone – even her brother’s. She tries to imagine Gaara touching me the way Shikamaru touches her, and she can’t make the pieces fit. She knows him well. She looks down at my bruises once again.
“But,” she begins, unsure of herself, “I don’t understand… What happened then?” Suddenly she is terribly angry – with me. “And don’t think you can sit there and lie your ass off again! I am not stupid, and Gaara has already told us he hurt you. You crushed her with your sand! Why? And why would you hide this from us if it’s no big deal?!”
“What I told you, is what I would have told anyone from this village, and was meant to protect Gaara.” I clarify. She looks back to me confused. “This is all my fault. I asked Gaara not to speak of our relationship with anyone. He agreed. I have… demons from my past which chase me nearly constantly. I did not want them causing him unnecessary trouble, and I did not want word of my presence to spread. It would make me easier to find, and harder for me to escape when the time comes… Obviously, things have not gone exactly has I had hoped. I would appreciate your secrecy as well, but I realize I cannot demand it.”
“But… Gaara,” Temari turns to him again. “Why did you hurt her?”
“That is also my fault,” I draw her attention back to me again. Gaara’s painful thoughts contradict my statement, but he remains silent.
“You don’t have to tell them,” he whispers in his mind to me. His face is carefully composed, but his mind is racing. I feel dread settle into the pit of my stomach as he begins to analyze the memories I assaulted him with. He is beginning to suspect things I have not told him.
“I have a… curse in my blood – a very rare kekkei genkai. I meant to hide it from him, but was… distracted,” I blush furiously. “He discovered it, but believed me to be hiding it from him for terrible reasons. He was right to be angry.” Temari and Kankuro both stare at me expectantly.
“I am a telepath,” I say, sighing deeply.
“HOLY SHIT!!” Kankuro yells, and stumbles back out of his chair. Temari looks confused, like Gaara had. “Do you know what that means?! She can read our minds!”
Now both Temari and Kankuro reflect fear from their faces, and I can feel tears building up in my eyes. I will not cry!
“Yes, Kankuro, I can.” I sniff, and tilt my head back to allow the tears to drain down my ducts without spilling. “And that is exactly why I don’t tell people.”
“It’s also why you run; why they hunt you.” Gaara’s voice cuts in low and deadly. His expression is, for once, unguarded. His wide eyes indicate that he has finally put the pieces together. His eyes narrow into a glare as he continues. “That night… I saw her memories. I thought her to be a spy; to be using me as Kage to get information and hurt the people of Suna. I was going to crush her, to kill her. To save herself…” he clutched his hands in fists in his hair again as if in pain, “she forced images, memories, into my mind – begging me to stop. It was too much… too fast. I’ve been trying to piece it together for the last two days, but it’s like… having a cart full of old photographs. There’s no rhyme or reason to them.”
I see his memory of that night, when I ran from him on the roof. I had misinterpreted his release of me as repulsion, and run without looking back. He wanted to reach for me, to ask me what he had seen; but his vision started blurring, while the pain in his head became unbearable. He gripped his hands in his hair against the pain, and felt warmth running down his face. Then his vision went completely.
He woke up on the roof; the images, the memories, blipping in and out of his mind’s eye constantly. He felt nauseous, and his head still ached terribly. As he pushed himself up off the hot tile, he realized the sun has already risen in the sky. He was shocked when he looked down on the roof to see blood beneath him.
My blood?! He touched his face to find it dried thickly there, and remembered the sensation of warmth before. Did she cause me to bleed like this? The sand would have protected me from the fall…
Ahhhh… I realize after seeing this. That’s why I was out in the sun so long. That’s why it took him so long to find me. Somehow, this realization is comforting; but I feel bad for hurting him in such a way. I am truly lucky. I could have killed him in my desperation.
When he glances back up at me, I am surprised to see compassion in his eyes, instead of anger. “There was SO Much Pain,” he whispers, and I feel the tears begin again, too fast for me to drain them. “How long have you been running? How long have you been alone in this?”
No. I can’t do this. I can’t let them any closer. Temari and Kankuro are beginning to settle back in their chairs. I start shaking my head furiously, desperately.
“It doesn’t matter.” My voice cracks under the strain. “Now that you all know I must leave, and quickly. I’ve put you in enough danger simply by being here.” I bolt out of my chair and head for the door, my skin and muscles and bones screaming in agony.
Gaara’s sand slams into the door, creating a wall and effectively sealing me inside. I try a window, then another, but he hems me in at every turn. I turn around and scream at him in outrage. “Let me out! You have no right to keep me prisoner here!”
“You are my lover!” he declares with an angry possessiveness in his voice, and although I know this is untrue – I realize that he sees me this way anyway. “My only lover and I have a right to protect you from them… to watch over you. This is why you chose me, is it not? There are so many men in your memories – you call them guardians. You chose them for their strength and skill, or power. These gave them the ability to protect you. Is this not true?”
“No!” I scream at him, getting desperate now. “I chose them for their ability to protect themselves! To get to safety when I am finally captured or killed. THAT is why I chose you! You are a Kage, and a very powerful shinobi. They will not risk a war with you unless they have to. It was safer for your people. I do not have to fear they will be harmed simply by my presence here!” My pain is getting high enough now that I am starting to see spots in my vision, but I cannot relax my guard.
Gaara’s siblings are again standing now, in a defensive posture, between the two of us on opposite sides of the room.
“You think I would just stand by and watch them hurt you?” Gaara leans forward clutching his hair again. “You think I would let them TAKE YOU FROM ME?!”
Oh no… The darkness is getting thicker. My body is starting to go numb, replacing the pain. I focus all my energy on standing and facing him.
“Gaara stop!” Temari shouts. “Look at her! She is barely standing. She has not healed enough yet.”
I want to argue with her, but I cannot seem to find my tongue.
“Kankuro, catch her!” she shouts again. I feel the wind brush by my face, and suddenly my world once again goes black.
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Love Me When I'm Gone

9. Confession