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Hidden Heartache	By : shiinechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2057 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Disclaimer: Naruto doesn�t
belong to me and I will be making no money from this story. This is simply a
work of fiction by a fan.

Pairings: SasuNaru, one-sided GaaraNaruto, plus others

Warnings: Yaoi, angst, mpreg
OOC, language, Naruto�s POV

Thanks to mystiewolf
for the beta read. Sorry for the long wait. This
chapter has been done for a few days, but because of computer problems, I couldn�t get it posted.�

Hidden Heartache

Chapter 9

My growling stomach forced my thoughts back to the
present. Gaara looked at me, and for the hours it took to tell my story, I had
his undivided attention. The clock hanging by the door indicated we had missed
lunch, which explained the hunger. �I�m sorry for talking so long,� I said. He
was Kazekage of this village and was very busy. He didn�t
have the time to waste listening to me. �But you�re the only one who could
understand and help me. I haven�t been able to tell anyone but you.�� I saw understanding in his eyes as I waited
for a response. I had no other choice when I decided to come here and I hated
to put him on the spot like this.� I
looked down at my hands, folded on the slight swell in my stomach as I
continued to wait. I had told him everything, and even if Gaara couldn�t help, I felt a sense of relief.

�They must have known you left instantly. It�s surprising you outran them in your condition. They
would have sent their best hunters.� Gaara said.

He was processing the story, looking for parts he didn�t understand and made a valid point. Under normal
circumstances with little planning and nowhere to go, I had no chance of
escape. But I gave myself a head start, which was
enough to get away. �They didn�t notice I�d left for four to five days.� I said
proudly.

His eyes opened slightly wider, betraying his
surprise. �How?� he asked.

�Well, we were assigned a mission two days after I
decided to leave. The town we were being sent to was
on the border of our country. By that time, I had everything planned. We left
the village and when our group was about four hours away, I put my plan into
action.� I smiled at my brilliance. �See, I got sick,� I laughed, recalling how
I�d thought about ramen and then breathed into a small
bag that contained miso. The scent forced me to throw up. �At that point, Kakashi
said I shouldn�t go on the mission and, of course, I disagreed, and after a
little struggle, I reluctantly conceded. He wanted to walk me back, but I
reminded him of the mission and pointed out we were close to the village, but
it wasn�t until I said I would report to the Hokage for a medical examination
that he agreed.� I knew Kakashi, and he was happy he wouldn�t
be fighting with me to seek medical attention, and since I was willing to do
it, he wasn�t going to press his luck. I continued, �The mission was easy, so
it didn�t matter if I went or not, and no one would notice I had left until the
team returned and I wasn�t there.�

�Interesting plan,� he said.

I laughed again. �It was,� I agreed. �And that head
start gave me time to hide, and since my chakra was weakening, I had to be
creative with my disguise,� I said, pointing to my hair and I left it at that.
He didn�t need to know how I dressed like a girl with
a scarf around my head to buy hair dye. My blonde hair stood out, so it had to
go, people might remember it later if questioned by other ninjas. It was too
unusual. The hunter ninjas would look for me, but I didn�t
think anyone would notice a girl buying a normal product. The ninjas that
pursued would be looking for someone using a jutsu to hide. In my weakened
state, that wasn�t a possibility.

�Your hair looks unnatural,� Gaara commented.

I pouted. I�d wanted dark
brown hair but I�d never used coloring before and couldn�t explain how my hair
turned black, but he did have a point. The color looked strange. There was
something missing that Sasuke, Neji, and Hinata had in their hair color that I didn�t, but it worked.�
�Well, excuse me. I haven�t had much practice with these types of
disguises,� I said, a tad bit defensive.

Gaara and I share the same life circumstance. We both
have demons inside of us and we survive in villages that hold us in contempt,
but we are different. While I can talk for extended periods
of time, he is a person of little words. So, I
waited, while he processed things and thought about what he needed.� �How well can you defend yourself?� Gaara
asked.

It was a fair question. Gaara needed to know if I
could protect myself if something happened or would I have to rely on others.
�Not very good,� I admitted.� I barely
had any chakra left to use. I left the village almost three months ago and at
that time, it wasn�t too bad, but as time went on, my
chakra level went down. I took a deep breath before I could continue. The next
words were hard to say, �I can�t take care of myself. My stomach is starting to
bulge, and when the time comes to have the baby, I won�t
be able deliver it on my own. I wouldn�t even know where to begin.� My face
blushed after that admission. It was embarrassing for me to think about
childbirth. Well, at least it was months away, I had time to get used to it.

Gaara continued to stare. He seemed amused by my
discomfort and embarrassment. �I see. You need a place to hide and someone to
protect you.�

I had no right to ask him to do this for me. If one
village finds another village hiding a missing nin,
then it could lead to war. Because of Kyuubi, Konoha would never stop looking
for me, and if they found me here, then Gaara and possibly
this village would suffer some sort of consequence. �I�m sorry for
asking you to help me, but I can�t do it on my own. I just need somewhere to
stay until the baby�s born then I can leave. My chakra
will be normal then and I can protect us.�

Gaara�s expression didn�t
change. �I won�t lie to you. If you are discovered here then it will cause
problems, but I won�t let that happen. I decided last
night that I would help you. You�ll be safe here and I won�t turn you out with
a newborn baby.�

Gaara was a little like Sasuke. They were both
arrogant and thought they could handle any situation. While his thoughts worked
towards my benefit, he needed to think this through. �But what if I�m
discovered?� I asked. Gaara was taking a big chance. He needed to understand
and consider the cost to him and his village.

�Ninjas from your village have asked about you. They
have already looked for you here. They�ll come back,
but they won�t search with the same intensity as before. But, if you are
discovered and your village demands you back, I don�t know what will happed,�
he admitted honestly.
My stomach growled again breaking the tension. I
smiled and Gaara asked, �What do you want for lunch?�

�I don�t want to draw attention, so I�ll have whatever
you usually have, but if you do have a choice, then sushi would be great but
only if it�s ok,� I said rambling on. My body wanted sushi but my mind
processed that Gaara might not like the stuff. I silently prayed these cravings
would end soon.

�No, it�ll be alright. I sometimes order sushi; so no,
no one will be suspicion.� I�ll go down
now,� Gaara said.

I smiled. I usually have problems eating any other
foods then the ones I craved. So, I was grateful for
getting what I wished. �Thanks� I said, feeling well rested and relaxed for the
first time in weeks. As I waited, I thought about Gaara and his willingness to
help.� In the past, I had helped him when
he needed it, so helping me know might be a form of payback, but I didn�t think so. We were connected by something we didn�t ask for, and when I told him everything, he didn�t
pass judgment nor was he disgusted.

Gaara returned with the sushi fifteen minutes later. I
frowned at its small size. It was barely enough for one person. Gaara must have
noticed my expression. �I�m not hungry. You can have it all,� he said.

I wanted to refuse and for the third time that afternoon, my stomach growled.
�I can share,� I said to be nice, but my eyes looked longingly at the food,
hoping it would all be mine.

�No there isn�t enough for three,� Gaara said and
maybe his lips started to form a smile. It happened too fast for me to be sure.

I couldn�t wait any longer.
After his reassurance, I took the platter, opened the wasabi sauce and
proceeded to eat. I realized I forgot to say something, so in between bits I
spoke, �Oh thanks Gaara.� I tried to pace myself but ended up devouring the
entire plate in record time.

�I�m a light eater and ordering more would arouse
suspicion. I will get you more later.� Gaara said.

His voice startled me. I forgot he was there. The food
had me completely captivated. �This was fine,� I said politely, looking sadly
at the empty plate.

Gaara stood and handed me an Anbu uniform. �Here put
this on,� he said.

I looked it over. I had imagined wearing one but not
for the Sand Village. I shrugged. It didn�t really matter. The costume was too big, so it easily
fit over my clothes. I looked at the cat mask before sliding it on. �Where are
we going?� I asked.

He turned back to look at me. �To a place where you
can hide,� he said. �Follow me and don�t speak until we get there,� he ordered.

I�ve never been patient. It�s a
good thing I don�t receive presents on a regular basis. I could see myself
annoying others until they told me what I was getting. �Ok,� I said. In the
end, I trusted him, and besides, I had no other choice.

I trailed behind Gaara. Maybe a little too close
because he stopped short when a little girl ran in front of him and tripped. He
managed to avoid walking into her but I wasn�t as
fortunate as I slammed into his back. The child looked up at him and her face
filled with terror. She was strong though because despite her fear she stood,
bowed, and apologized; then with tears forming, she turned and ran. I watched
Gaara, but his face showed no emotion. He was used to it and expected it.
��
We were traveling towards the outer part of the
village when a woman called out, �Gaara.�

He stopped and looked. �Temari,� the Kazekage said.
His sister started to move towards us until she was standing in front of Gaara.
She hadn�t changed much since the last time we met.
Her hair was a little longer and she was about an inch taller. I looked towards
her right and my heart nearly stopped. Shikamaru stood there with his usual
bored expression. I grabbed onto the lower part of Gaara�s shirt, holding it
tight in my hand, treating it like a security blanket. Sand started to pry my
fingers away. Then I realized how obvious I was being. I lowered my hands and
arms to my sides. This disguise was perfect no one would recognize me unless I
gave myself away.

�Gaara, there is a message from the Mist Village,�
she said.

�It�s not important. I will be back in my office
later,� he responded and then proceeded to walk around them and I followed.

Temari looked at her brother and then behind him at
me. �Act normal,� I told myself. It was hard to do. Shikamaru was smart, and
from what I remember of Gaara�s sister so was she.

�Who�s this?� she asked.

Gaara paused and turned towards his sister again.
�Just a messenger from the outer temple, one of the priests has asked to see
me,� Gaara said, giving no indication that something was wrong.�

�What�s your name?� she asked me.

I thought about disguising my voice, but Gaara warned
me not to talk. My heart started to beat faster. If I didn�t
say anything soon, they would be suspicious. Then I heard Gaara�s voice. �He�s
mute,� he said. �His name is Sato,�

I let out the breath I was holding. �A mute Anbu
member,� Shikamaru said in amazement. I wanted to warn Gaara to be careful.
Shikamaru was smart and wouldn�t be easily fooled.
�I�m surprised too,� Temari said.

Gaara shrugged. �From what I heard, he was born that
way. He lives in the western temple.� He explained like
it was no big deal.

�I see. You must be exceptional to be promoted despite
your handicap,� Shikamaru said looking at me.

�Yes he must be,� Gaara agreed. Then he looked at
Shikamaru again, �Of course we always welcome Konoha ninjas here, but you don�t
look like you�re here on vacation,� Gaara said.

Shikamaru shrugged, �No I�m on my way back, but I
stopped by to see if anyone heard or seen Naruto.�

�Any word,� Gaara asked betraying no emotion.

�No, nothing,� Shikamaru said.

�I�m sure hunters are looking for him and have a
better chance of finding him. Why are you wasting your time?� Gaara asked.

Shikamaru looked pissed, �Because he�s my friend. And
it won�t be pretty if the hunters find him first.�

I started to tremble. He was right. I didn�t want to imagine what would happen if they found me.
�Then it�s a good thing his friends are looking for him,� Gaara said and then
excused himself, �Sorry to leave but I have a busy schedule. Good luck in your
search.� Then we walked away. I resisted the urge to look back. We continued in
silence and I thought about Shikamaru. When he mentioned my name, he looked a
little sad. I felt guilty. He was worried and I still concealed myself from
him, but I had no choice. My baby came first and I couldn�t
go back now.

As we continued to walk, I thought about Gaara�s
comments. He wanted me to know that I had friends and they were worried and
trying to find me, but why did he think that was important? Maybe he didn�t realize what he was doing or maybe he wanted to show
me how dangerous it was here. Sometimes I couldn�t
understand him. It didn�t take us long to reach our
destination. Gaara stopped in front of a large white wall. A gate blocked
people from entering freely. A security booth stood outside the gate. We walked
towards the entrance. A ninja stood guard. The moment he saw Gaara, he stood
and said, �Sir.�

�I�m here to see the head priest,� Gaara said.

I started to wonder why Gaara brought me here. He hadn�t explained before. The guard started to speak, �Is he
expecting you?� he asked.

Gaara looked pissed. His expression didn�t
change but his body stiffened. If I could see his eyes, then I�m
sure they would be burning with anger. I couldn�t
blame him. When the leader of the village arrives and wants to see the head of
the temple, would you ask him if he had an appointment? The guard must have
realized his mistake and started to apologize, �Sorry sir. You can go right
in.�
�
Gaara nodded his approval and walked through the door
with me following close behind. I looked around. The main structure was modern.
It reminded me of Gaara�s office building. It was big but not intimidating. I
was surprised. It looked up to date with modern technology. Temples are usually old structures and these
were different. The grounds were beautiful, filled with green grass and
beautiful flowers, unusual for a desert climate. I couldn�t
explain why this area was filled will life while the rest of the village only
had sand. I would ask later after I got permission to talk.

Gaara walked towards the main building. We entered,
walked up the stairs, and arrived at a door. I expected Gaara to barge in but
he knocked and waited for a response. A man in his late sixties answered the
door. �Takafumi,� Gaara greeted.

�Kazekage, it�s a pleasure. I received your message
last night and would be happy to help.� Then he turned towards me before
gesturing us inside.

�Naruto this is Takafumi, the head of the Western Temple.� I put my hand out to shake his
and he responded.

I was a little surprised Gaara told him my name, but I trusted him and I had
nowhere else to go, �It�s a pleasure,� I said to be polite.

�Takafumi runs this facility. It�s a
temple that focuses on life though agricultural and medical means. It�s different from other temples because it doesn�t just
worship life but protects and creates it. You will be safe here,� Gaara said.

His words surprised me. I�m
not religious, so how this place is different from others didn�t make any
sense, but I had assumed I would be staying with Gaara, so I asked to be
certain, �I�m staying here?�

�Staying with me is too dangerous, Konoha ninjas show
up all the time looking for you. Some are your friends and some are here to
hunt you down,� Gaara said.

The news that people come here regularly to look for
me was scary, but I needed to know one thing. �Has Sasuke been searching for
me?� I asked. Even now, I still loved him and wanted to know if he cared enough
to try to find me. I looked down and waited for Gaara�s answer. He would be
disappointed with my question. Sasuke needed to be forgotten,
if I were to remain safe. It wasn�t a decision he
made, but one I did when I left Konoha.

It took him a moment to respond. �Yes, he comes,
usually with your other teammates. Sometimes they search for you alone, but you
can expect one every two weeks. They know you Naruto, and they think if you�re
in trouble you might seek help from me,� he stopped and paused, thinking about
his next words, �Is there anyone you want to talk to?� he asked.

I don�t know if he would have
allowed that or if he was testing my determination, but what he was proposing
was impossible. �No, I can�t go back,� I said.

He nodded and continued. �This place has one of the
best medial facilities in this village and you are going to need that in the
next few months. There main concern here is protecting life. I trust Takafumi.
You will be fine,� Gaara said reassuringly.

I had never heard Gaara speak so much at one time. He
was honest and trying to calm me, and that made me trust him more. If he
thought this place was safe, then so did I.
�Does he know?� I asked, gesturing towards the man.

�I spoke with him last night while you slept. Takafumi
knows you�re a missing Nin and that Kyuubi is sealed
inside of you. He agreed to help if I thought it necessary,� Gaara explained.

�That is if you had a good reason to run,� the priest
explained. �We help those in need here and we protect the ones in our care. If
the Kazakage feels it�s necessary, we will hide you, even if you are a missing nin.�

He seemed sincere and I started to trust him.
�Thanks,� I said.

�Now that�s settled. I don�t
need to know your story, but the Kazakage mentioned you would benefit from our
medical facility. Are you hurt or sick?� he asked me. Gaara turned to answer,
but the priest spoke again, �No he can talk for himself.�

I looked at Gaara, but he just stood there. If I had
asked him to answer for me, he would have. He watched and waited to see what I
would do. I had only said the words one other time but it might be easier now.
�I�m having a baby.� As if those words weren�t enough,
I spoke again, �I�m a man and pregnant.�

The man didn�t look disgusted
but understanding. �I assume this is part of the reason you left.�

My eyes were tearing up. For the last few months
living on my own, I had been very emotional. If this man was going to help,
then I wanted him to understand, �If they found out, I was afraid they wouldn�t
allow me to have it.�

He took my hand, �You�ve come to the right place. Male
pregnancies are difficult, but you will be fine,� he paused and looked a little
sad. �The world is full of people who hate and blame others. Here, in this
temple, everyone will understand and see your child as innocent.�

He understood. I smiled and thanked him again.

�Have you had a medical examination?� he asked.

I knew this would make me seem like a bad parent and
the baby wasn�t even born yet, but I confessed, �No,
the only people I�ve told are you and Gaara.�

�Ok then that will be our first priority for
tomorrow,� he said. �Don�t worry about it. I will ask you a few questions, then
I will weigh you, listen to your heartbeat then the babies heartbeat, plus a
few other things that will be simple and painless, and, when that�s done, I
will do a sonogram,� he said.

I understood most of what he said. I appreciated his
explanation and I wasn�t as nervous because of it.
Something did worry me though. I haven�t been taking
care of myself. Then I thought about the things he would do during the exam.
�What�s a sonogram?� I asked.

The doctor laughed. �It�s a way to see the baby. I can
measure it to see growth and check to make sure it�s developing properly.�

�Most pregnant women have it done. The machine will
let you observe the baby using ultrasonic waves.� Gaara said.

I gave him a strange look. How did he know so much
about these things? I wanted to ask but decided it would be rude. �Will I
really be able to see my baby?� I asked still disbelieving.

�Yes tomorrow you will hear the heartbeat and see the
baby,� the doctor said.

I started to shake with fear and anticipation. �What
if there�s something wrong?� I asked myself. Tomorrow I would see the baby and
despite those worries, I smiled. �Gaara tomorrow we�ll see the baby,� I said.

�What time tomorrow?� Gaara asked the doctor.

�About ten,� the doctor said.

�Naruto, I have to go now.� I looked at him. He was
going to leave. �Are you going to be ok?� he asked, noticing my discomfort.

It shouldn�t have bothered
me, but it did. I wanted him to stay. �Will you be back?� I asked. �I mean the
sonogram is tomorrow but you don�t have to be there if you don�t want too.� I didn�t want to see my baby for the first time alone.

�I wouldn�t miss it for the world,� Gaara said. �Don�t
leave the compound. Everything you need will be here. I know it�ll seem like a
prison but it has to be this way.�

�I know. I will be good,� I promised, and with that,
he walked out the door.

�I�ve never seen him so protective of someone else
before,� Takafumi said.

I thought about that but the answer came quickly,
�We�re alike in a lot of ways. We know the same pain and have some of the same
fears,� I said.

�I suppose you do,� he said a little sad.

I yawned and my eyes felt heavy. �Is there some place
I can take a nap?� I asked, still not over the weariness.

�How about I show you to your room?� he asked. �I
wanted to give you the best room here with the best view but it�s on the fifth
floor and after a few more months it�ll be too much of a struggle for you to
climb up five flights of stairs,� he said laughing. �So I�m going to give you
the best room on the bottom floor. When you open the window, you will smell
fresh flowers,� he said as he guided me down the stairs.

AN: I hope this chapter moved a little
faster. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.�
Did I mention that feedbacks or comments would be great? Well, I�m off to finish chapter 10.
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Hidden Heartache