100 Themes fics

 

Title: Spiral

Pairing: KakaIru

Summary: Dolphins are known for saving drowning sailors.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto and I didn’t make any money writing this.

Dedicated to: My friend George in thanks for the points he donated.

Special thanks to: Kita for looking over for me.



“Sometimes that’s how it feels,” Kakashi whispered, tracing his finger over the black line of the spiral patch on Iruka’s shirt.



Iruka turned and looked over his shoulder at Kakashi.  “Hm?”  The statement surprised and confused him, seemingly out of place, although he supposed anything right then would have been out of the blue.  They’d been laying there, not really doing much. He’d been reading a history book and pondering the next week’s lesson plans with Kakashi curled up against him.



Kakashi blinked.  Only his right eye was visible, the other was covered by his headband, and the dark gray eye held obvious confusion.  His face was usually covered by his mask, but not now and his lips parted.  He licked them, furrowed his brow slightly, and shook his head.  “Nothing, I was just thinking out loud.”



The couch was narrow; at least with the two of them on it, it was.  The numerous green pillows piled on it only made it more so.  Iruka was used to it, though, it served its purpose in their new apartment.  He set the book on the end table and twisted around to face Kakashi.



“Don’t give me that.”  He kept the tone soft, only the tiniest bit of irritation in the words.  Iruka wasn’t annoyed, so much as concerned, but it always came out sounding that way.  It was obvious, at least to him, that Kakashi hadn’t intended to say what he was thinking, but rather the comment had just slipped out.  He knew Kakashi well enough now to know that there was always a lot going on in his head.  Iruka didn’t always understand the things the closely guarded thoughts that occasionally escaped, but he wanted to and he’d discovered the best way to do that was to drag an explanation from Kakashi.



Smiling faintly, Kakashi brushed the backs of his fingers against Iruka’s cheek and shook his head.  “It’s nothing really,” he assured.



“Then tell me what you were thinking.”  If it really was nothing then Kakashi should just tell him so then he could put it aside and not worry.  As of yet, it had never been ‘nothing’.



Kakashi averted his gaze, his attention shifting back to Iruka’s shoulder.  “Sometimes that’s how I feel.”  He tapped the design absently.



Iruka looked at the design. Black lines swirled from the edge to the center of the red patch. It was the simple design that marked their old alliance with Uzushiogakure that they still honored even now that the village was gone. There countless possible things Kakashi could be implying given the sheer amount of symbolism. Iruka’s family had originally been from there so he knew more about the reasons for the designs than most. He wondered how much Kakashi knew about it and what it might have to do with his odd statement. He hoped there wasn’t a comparison between their relationship and that of the two villages. If there was it could mean Kakashi saw their relationship as hopeless.  “How you feel?”



“Mm... well...”  Kakashi slipped his arms around Iruka, shifting slightly and snuggling against him. He tucked buried his head against Iruka’s shoulder.  “It’s silly but you know how when you stare at a spiral sometimes it seems to move towards the center and sometimes it seems to go away?”



“Yeah...”  Iruka raised an eyebrow, wondering where Kakashi was going with that since he was fairly sure that couldn’t be all there was to it.  He wrapped his own arms around Kakashi’s shoulders, enjoying the cuddling despite his confusion.



“It’s not all of the time, but--”  Kakashi hesitated, still not looking up.  ”--sometimes I feel like I’m spiralling down into... something with no control over the outcome.”



Iruka pulled back to look Kakashi directly in the eyes.  He couldn’t stop himself from giving his lover an incredulous look.  “What?” It wasn’t what he’d expected.



Kakashi hurriedly continued, his voice edged with the need to reassure.  “This whole relationship thing is new and I don’t know if we’re getting closer because I moved in or further apart because we’re closer.”  He closed his uncovered eye.  “I feel like I’m drowning, out of control like this, but I never want it to stop.”



Iruka took a deep breath and brushed his fingers along Kakashi’s cheek.  The meaning clicked into place and understanding with it.  “Sometimes, I forget just how out of touch with normal relationships you are.  All relationships like ours go through these things.  It’s called loving.  It’s never a smooth ride, and sometimes you want to strangle the other person, but it’s only because you love them.”



Kakashi opened his eye again, meeting Iruka’s gaze.



Iruka could sense the trepidation in him and his heart went out to Kakashi.  Under the cool confident warrior, there was still a nervous young man, one who had no real experience with being in a real relationship.



“So, it’s okay if I sometimes feel like I’m drowning in this?”



Iruka didn’t laugh aloud, because he knew that right at that moment his lover would take it the wrong way.  He did smile though.  ”Well, it is, as long as you’re drowning in the right things,” he purred, sliding his fingers up to cup Kakashi’s jaw.  Leaning forward, he tilted his head and pressed his lips to Kakashi’s.  The way that Kakashi’s lips parted under his with only the slightest pressure sent a thrill through him and Iruka couldn’t help the quiet rumble of a groan.  He broke the kiss and smiled.  “And, don’t worry I won’t let you drown in anything but the right stuff.”



Kakashi smiled, tightened his hold, and kissed Iruka on the tip of his nose.  “Mah, Iruka, are you saying you’re going to be the death of me or not?”



“Dolphins are known for saving drowning men.”  Iruka returned the kiss with a light peck of his own.  “I think I’d rather just teach you to swim, though.”



“I’m a slow learner,” Kakashi warned.



Laughing, Iruka kissed him again, trailing them down Kakashi’s jaw and the pale column of his neck.  “Well, it’s a good thing that I’m a very good teacher then.”  It was a distraction, but it was also reassurance.  There wasn’t much else that could be said with words so Iruka would settle for continuing the conversation in another way, a way that Kakashi was comfortable with and understood better.