The Blessed Realm | By : susanna Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1746 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3 |
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Naruto, his friends and the world he lives in don't belong to me but to Masashi Kishimoto. I write this story only for my pleasure and I don't make any money with it. |
Chapter
Eighty-Three: Beneath the Surface
Naruto
soon stopped talking, or at least thinking, about Sasuke's attack
against Killerbee, but some distance between them remained. What
worried him, however, were Killerbee's words about not being supposed
to have sex as a jinchuuriki. When he and Sasuke had lunch again with
Juugo's fostermothers he left it to Sasuke to play with the older
boys and joined the two women in the kitchen. The smallest kid was in
the kitchen too, always standing where his mothers intended to go.
“Sasuke
and I have met the only other living jinchuuriki in Music Town”,
Naruto said.
“There's
another one?”
“Yes,
he's from Kumo.”
“And
you met him here in Music Town?”
“He's
a musician, so he decided to live here.”
“Oh”,
the women said, not knowing what to make of the information and why
Naruto was telling them this.
“He
told me that as a jinchuuriki you should not have sex.”
“Why?”
“It's too risky. The kyuubi might get out of control.”
The
two women swallowed. They have children, Naruto realized. They don't
want them to get killed in an attack of the kyuubi.
“But
you and Sasuke have sex, don't you?” one of the women finally
said.
“We
do.”
“So
apparently you are able to keep the kyuubi in check.”
“Well.
It's difficult. It always takes me a minute or two to get it back
under control.”
“But
you manage. So why do you fear that this might change?”
Because
there's always the possibility that I have a deeper, fuller orgasm,
Naruto thought, and that I accidentally open the bars of the kyuubi's
cage. He did not say it: he did not want to discuss details of his
sexuality with these two women.
“I
can understand that Naruto suffers from it”, the second woman
said to her partner. “You want to let go during sex, don't
you?”
“Well,
yes”, Naruto answered. He was not so certain – he did not
know anything but having to be careful, and he could not imagine what
sex might be like if the dropped his guard completely.
“What
does Sasuke say?” the woman continued. “Does he know
about the problem?”
“Yes.
He thinks he can deal with it. He tells me not to worry.”
“And
what do you think? Can he deal?”
Naruto
thought about it. He remembered how Sasuke had turned up in his mind
when they had met in Orochimaru's lair. “I guess he can, when
things go really badly. But I'd prefer him not to have to.”
“That's
understandable. You'll have to keep talking about the problem, then
you'll find a solution. You love each other, don't you?”
“We
do”, Naruto answered hesitatingly.
“Every
couple has problems. Be open with each other, then you'll manage.
Just don't expect each other, or your love, to be perfect.”
Naruto
had no idea what to answer, but he did not feel comforted. “It's
not just about having sex”, he said. “It's also that they
made sure that I'll never have a family of my own.”
“But
you already proved them wrong, didn't you?” one of the women
said. “You are having sex, and there's no reason why you should
not have a family either. Being gay makes it difficult of course, but
there's ways.”
Naruto
shook his head. “They made sure that I would not be able to
raise kids. They let me grow up in one of Konoha's orphanages instead
of finding me some fosterparents, which would probably have been
possible too. Maybe they even took me away from my mother when she
was still alive, just to make sure that I had no idea about small
children, having no memory of my own parents caring for me when I was
very small.”
“It's
normal that you don't have any memories of how your parents played
with you when you were very small. And it's normal that you don't
know much about little children when you are seventeen. It's possible
to learn it, however. You can begin now!”
The
woman picked up her little son and placed him in Naruto's arms. “Go
into the garden and play with him! Then you are out out of the way
and we can do our cooking.”
Naruto
went outside, carrying the little lad. He was not content at all with
the women's efforts to comfort him, but he did his best not to let
the child feel it. He played football with him, which was difficult
as the boy kept picking up the ball, wanting to keep it for himself,
and repeatedly Naruto had to persuade him to put it down again so
that they could continue playing. (Naruto understood that it was no
use to try to explain that in football you weren't supposed to touch
the ball with your hands at all.)
After
some time Naruto noticed that Sasuke was watching him. He was silent
and smiled, content just to watch, but Naruto got nervous, feeling
that Sasuke was judging him, and the little boy sensed it too and got
inquiet, so that Sasuke had to join the game. It did not last long,
however: lunch was ready soon.
During
lunch Naruto got troubled again. Seeing the kids interact, the older
ones helping their younger siblings and friends (there were always
some non-related children at the table) made him realize what he had
missed in the first years of his life.
Sasuke
had again placed the smallest child on his lap, helping him eat.
After lunch, when the older children had left to play in the garden,
he began to read a picture book to him, explaining to him the names
of farm animals, while the two women served him coffee and passed the
sugar to him, as he was not able to do anything by himself. Naruto
was envious: both because Sasuke was able to care for the kid as if
he had never done anything else, and because Sasuke in his turn was
now cared for by the mothers.
“I
never had a chance to learn”, he said. “People didn't
want me to learn. People did not want me to raise a family. They
wanted me to know nothing but the village.”
Sasuke,
who had no idea about the conversation in the kitchen looked
irritated. The two mothers were irritated and a bit annoyed too.
“You
will be able to raise a family when you're old enough”, they
said.
Naruto
was not convinced: “The women at the agency for surrogate
mothers warned me: I'll inevitably mess up if I try to raise kids and
give them a better childhood than I had myself.”
Now
the two women were silent for a few seconds, as they had to overcome
their surprise. “You went to an agency for surrogate mothers?”
“It
was Sasuke's idea”, Naruto said, realizing that they found this
quite ridiculous. Sasuke realized it too, and he was not happy at all
that Naruto had told the two women about their adventure.
“I
thought we might do something meaningful while Naruto is trying to
come up with a plan to defeat Danzou”, he said, managing to
sound as aloof and arrogant as in his worst moments.
The
little boy looked up at him, not knowing what to make of the change
in his voice. The boy's mothers broke into laughter.
“What
are you going to do with the child once you are ready to return to
Konoha?” they asked when they were able to. “There's no
one you can return it to once you no longer need a child to fill your
time.”
“He'll
be grown up by the time when Naruto has found a plan”, Sasuke
replied coolly. “He'll support us.”
“Don't
be so sure! Children normally have political positions that are just
the opposite of their parents!”
They
were still laughing, and they had a hard time to settle down.
“Seriously:
you better grow up yourselves before you try to raise a child”,
they said. “If you're really so keen on looking after children
you can come and visit more often and look after ours.”
“It's
not the same”, Sasuke replied. “I want some biological
children of my own.”
He
still sounded cool and arrogant, and Naruto wondered how he managed,
even though he must know that he had just made a fool of himself.
“What
about you?” the women asked Naruto.
“I'd
rather adopt a child.” Contradicting Sasuke helped him get out
of his bad mood.
“You
may adopt Sasuke's kids”, the women suggested.
“No,
definitely not.”
The
women looked as if he had said something incredibly stupid. He
understood that they must have adopted each other's kids as it was
not possible that a child had two biological mothers.
“It
would not be fair”, he said. “Sasuke having biological
children and me just adopting them. I want to adopt a child who's a
few years old and who's had some rough times. I want to give him hope
for a better life.”
“That's
an admirable plan”, the women said. “But these kids are
often difficult. Even those who really want to be adopted often take
a long time until they trust you. They show you just some mask,
fearing you will reject them as soon as you you know their true self,
and when the mask breaks, which will inevitably happen one day, they
will get aggressive or withdraw. You need a lot of patience with
them, and the skill to look beneath the surface of their awkward or
even aggressive behaviour.”
“But
we can do this”, Naruto said. “We are ninja. We are
trained to look beneath the surface.”
The
women's expression was very odd.
“But
the woman at the agency would not believe me”, Naruto
continued. “She warned me against adopting a child in order to
make up for not having had a happy childhood. I've never experienced
any parents' love, and so I cannot pass on that experience to a
child. Sasuke said it himself: you've never had anyone, you cannot
understand it.”
Sasuke
was shocked – he had not thought that Naruto would bring up
this. He did not like being reminded of what he now considered one of
the worst moments of his life. “That was years ago”, he
said. “I already told you: I was angry and out of my mind. I
said whatever came to my mind to hurt you. I didn't mean it. I
certainly don't think so now.”
“There's
no reason why you should not be able to love a child”, the
women said. “It's about you and the child, not about what you
experienced with your parents. It's got nothing to do with passing
anything on. You love the child, that's enough. You will have to
consider, however, whether you are really ready to tackle the task of
taking in a child with trust issues and a bunch of behavioural
problems.”
Naruto
did not know what to say except what he had already said before, so
he remained silent.
“But
you don't have to decide this now”, the other woman continued.
“Wait until you're old enough to care for a child. And even
then, you can first have a child of your own and later, when you've
gained confidence in your fathering skills, you can adopt one. That's
what we did, after all.”
Naruto
did not feel convinced, nor comforted, even though he knew that the
women meant well.
Sasuke
had listened to the conversation. He agreed to the two women that
Naruto would make a good father, and contrary to them he was also
convinced that Naruto would also be a good father to some child with
a lot of issues. He found Naruto's self-doubts rather irrational, but
he sensed that Naruto was deeply troubled. He laid his arm around
him.
“We'll
manage”, he said. “We'll find a child to adopt, one who's
had some rough times. We'll find one without the approval of that
stupid woman at the agency: if not here, then in Konoha. There's
enough of them.”
A/N:
Thanks again for your reviews and your plusses! You can find my
answers at
http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=14965
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