Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Stranger than the Wild	By : kiddattwell Category: Naruto > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 30155 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I don't make any money off of it.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
A/N: There’s a lengthy little first-person interlude in this chapter that is totally skippable if it’s not for you.

Chapter 8

Sakura

Sakura couldn’t sleep.

In a daze, she had went back inside, sliding the door shut as quietly as she could, and sat down on her sleeping bag beside Naruto. He was breathing heavily, his mouth open a bit, his head half off the pillow. She was careful not to stare though. Naruto could sleep through almost anything, but if you watched him too long, his eyes would inevitably open and turn directly to you.

She didn’t want him to see her right now.

She laid down facing the opposite wall. She couldn’t tell if hours or minutes were passing. The blue and black darkness of the room seemed to be changing, shifting, but she couldn’t be sure. At some point, Sasuke came back inside. She heard his footfalls crossing the room and she pretended to be asleep, but she knew she was fooling no one. She held her breath until she thought she heard the gentle slide of his bedroom door shut.

As soon as the first stream of light crept through the windows, she got up, silently changed into some of her new clothes and left, jogging out of the front gate and down the street as the rising sun peeked out from behind the buildings. Her footsteps were loud against the packed dirt streets on the east side of town. There were few people out and about; every now and then she would run past a store beginning to show signs of life. The surrealness, the muted light of early morning, and the odd emptiness of her mind made Sakura think she might actually be dreaming as she took in the dew glistening on metal benches and the fresh mist hanging in the air. The morning market was beginning to stir as her feet found her destination right in the middle of the old shopping district.

The fact that the building was reconstructed just as it was eased some of the tension in Sakura’s gut. The white walls, the slant of the roof, the budding new flowers in the window planters… Sakura stood and stared at it and for a moment, pretending she was eight and visiting her only friend in the world.

Of course it was not Ino’s father that opened the door, but Shikamaru, who stood shirtless, his lean chest and narrow waist belayed by his hunched over posture. He stepped aside wordlessly and she followed him into the sitting room and then down the hall toward Ino’s room. She thought he must have only been daring to wake Ino because of his zombie-like state, but to Sakura’s shock, she saw him flop down on the bed beside her, filling the crumpled spot he had apparently just left.

Ino stirred and rolled over, just in time for Sakura to find her words.

“What in the world is going on here?!” Sakura exclaimed. Ino flinched. Shikamaru laid still, already back to his precious sleep world.

“What are you doing here so early, forehead? Or is it early…? What time is it?” Ino croaked.

“It’s early! But that still doesn’t explain what I’m seeing here!”

“Shh…” she said, and Sakura had another mini spasm in her brain when Ino tenderly looked over at Shikamaru’s sleeping form. “Here, let’s go in to the living room,” she whispered, to which Sakura could only nod.

Sakura had seen Ino watch Shikamaru sleep, but never with that look in her eyes.

Ino rolled out of bed and led her to sit down on a cushion while she disappeared in the kitchen. Sakura felt a little bad for waking her so suddenly when Ino reappeared, pale faced and with two cups of juice in hand.

“Chouji tried but we can’t get any coffee yet… so, what are you doing here? Do you forgive me now? You weren’t wondering around all night or something like that, were you?”

“No. Sasuke let me stay with him and Naruto.”

“Good. I thought he would, but you never know with that fool,” Ino said, regaining some of her form as she sipped her juice.

“So this is the real reason you moved so suddenly? Because you and Shikamaru are… a couple?”

Ino rolled her eyes, “No. If you would have listened before storming off yesterday, all three of us decided it would be good to move in together and help each other through this. It’s been a weight off my shoulders, having them around all the time. It kind of feels like before, in a way…” Ino’s eyes became misty all of the sudden and Sakura regretted her combative tone, but Ino recovered before any tears were shed, “Plus, it’s what our parents would have wanted.”

“Oh?” Sakura couldn’t suppress her grin, “I actually do remember their feelings on this situation, but I think their plan was always to have you and Shikamaru get married before you united your families under one roof. Or you and Chouji.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“And yet it’s the part of the story that I find most compelling at the moment. So,” Sakura said with a grin, “After all this time. You. And Shikamaru.”

Ino looking grudgingly past her to glare at the wall, “If you must know-“

“Oh, I must.”

“It’s still new with Shika and I. It only started up after we all moved in together.”

“Is that so?” Sakura questioned archly.

“Yes! God, you’re worse than a mother.”

“So how serious is this thing between you two?” Sakura continued, unfazed.

“Somewhat… sort of, well… it’s complicated. We’ve known each other so long that it’s hard for it not to be serious.”

“Have you stopped bickering all the time, then?”

Ino shrugged, “I’m used to that. I can’t imagine anything between us that doesn’t involve fighting. But…” Ino suddenly grinned in an unmistakable way. Sakura gasped.

“Yamanaka Ino! Have you…? Did you do… that? With Shikamaru?” Sakura asked, her voice going high at the end.

Ino just smiled.

“Oh my God…” Sakura whispered, “I can’t believe you beat me…”

“Heh heh heh! I can give you and Naruto some tips if you’d like!” Ino said, slapping Sakura’s arm.

But at hearing Naruto’s name, Sakura’s face fell.

“Ah-hah. So, are you going to tell me what’s got you bursting in over here first thing in the morning?”

“Mm, no. I just… I want to hear about you! I can’t believe it! Tell me everything.”

“Nuh-uh. Don’t change the subject. What did that blonde idiot do this time? Or was it the Uchiha again?”

Sakura sighed. She was just too easy to read.

**** **** **** ****

Ino was speechless by the end of her tail. When she finally got over her shock, Sakura was staring silently at the cup of juice in front of her, her fingers smoothing up and down the glass irritably.

“Well… I guess it’s your turn to shock me. I… I had no idea. But… do you think Sasuke has real feelings for you?”

“I don’t know! He’s so confusing! I mean, all I know is that he was really into kissing me and when I protested, he was pretty adamant about knowing why. I told you what I said to him about me and Naruto, but it just… It’s like it didn’t compute. But I don’t know if it means he wants me as a girlfriend or if he just wanted me in that moment.”

Ino chewed her lip thoughtfully, “Sasuke-kun doesn’t seem like the type who would kiss you casually, even if he’s been acting a little weird lately.”

“I know, but I have no idea what to think. Has he liked me since he got back? Has he always liked me? Well, I can actually answer that question-“

“Heh, so can I-“

“Or! Did he just want to kiss me and keep me on the side as like, a teammate with benefits?”

There was a whistle from behind them. Chouji appeared in the hallway wearing striped boxers and a white t-shirt.

“This was not a conversation I meant to walk in on,” he said, staring decidedly at the opposite wall.

“Chouji!” Ino shouted.

Sakura felt herself go red, “How much did you hear?”

“Teammate with benefits,” he replied, walking past them into the kitchen.

Ino rose to follow him, shouting as she went, “Promise that those words do not leave this house!”

Sakura heard him assent and relaxed as Ino reappeared. However, Chouji’s head followed her around the corner.

“So, since I promised, do I get to know who wants the benefits?”

Ino and Sakura looked at each other. After a moment, Sakura shrugged. Ino answered him.

“Sasuke. Maybe,” she said.

Chouji whistled again and disappeared. They heard cupboard doors opening and pans begin to rattle.

“Let Chouji make you breakfast. It’ll give us some fuel to think this thing through.”

“Why is this happening…?” Sakura moaned, laying her head on the table.

“Your team has always been dysfunctional. I mean, I’m sure Kakashi-sensei wasn’t really a lot of help with that.”

“Hey, Kakashi-sensei was a great teacher.”

“Uh-huh. Anyway, you and Naruto have been a little broken ever since Sasuke-kun left. It’s not surprising that you’re all having a hard time adjusting.”

Sakura was starting to feel a bit sick from the stress and her sleepless night.

“Let’s just talk about something else for now. Tell me absolutely everything about Shikamaru.”

“Are you sure?” Ino frowned at her. She wasn’t one to give up on a problem that easily, but seeing Sakura’s tense face, she caved.

“Fine. I’ll tell you a little bit… Me and Shika had been fighting a lot more than usual, if you can imagine that. Ever since we moved into the house, he’d been underfoot, laying in a depressed lump. Obviously, his mood was not making me or Chouji feel any better and I was starting to regret our decision to move in together.”

“How did that happen?” Sakura interrupted.

“That’s a completely different story,” Ino said, shaking her head.

“Well it’s one I want to hear considering it’s the one that left me homeless,” she said flatly.

**** **** **** ****

I wracked my brain, trying to find the right place to start, quickly sorting out the details I could tell and the ones that should stay private. I told Sakura one version of the story, but it wasn’t nearly as easy as I made it sound. God, if she knew. I know Sakura's been through her share of bad situations, but never this. She'd never lost anyone the way we had- she'd never lost a parent.

Sometimes the three of us, Shikamaru, Chouji and I, couldn't bear to see each other. Sometimes we cried just looking at each other’s faces. We cried for each other and for ourselves.

Feeling better seemed impossible, and yet, there were minutes, sometimes hours, when I would forget to feel sad and I could reconnect to the world. Sakura was usually involved in those times, distracting me with her stories and her daily life. Sometimes I felt guilty that I didn't spend every second lamenting my parents death, but a lot of the time I was just relieved that I got a break from the pain and grateful that the human mind was so simple that something that huge could actually be put away for a little while.

Well, I should say my mind. Chouji and I both knew there was one person who wasn’t so easy to distract.

It was when Sakura had left on her mission that Chouji approached me. I didn’t leave our apartment except to buy food and go on missions, which I was surprised to find didn't make me jittery like a lot of my comrades. Our entire generation was feeling the strain of the last battle, so I was often assigned as a team leader to a bunch of bratty genin who were usually annoying enough to take my mind off of things for a while.

I had just come back from one of those missions, tired and sore from all the work after my recent lack of training, when I saw Chouji on my doorstep, waiting for me.

It was getting dark earlier now and the new buildings were casting long shadows over the streets. He waved to me as I got closer, stepping out into the road. It wasn’t until then that I realized he was alone. Getting a solo visit from Chouji was unusual, but I let him inside without a word and we sat at me and Sakura's little table.

''You look good, Chouji," I said, studying his face, "You've finally put some weight back on."

"Have I?" He said absently, stroking his hair back from his forehead. It had grown long and sat in rough looking spikes against his shoulders, which hadn't lost any definition, but had bulked up a bit since I had seen him a week before. "I've been trying, but I wasn't sure how much progress I was making. We don't have a scale yet and my clothes still fit the same."

"You look kinda worried though. What's going on?" I said. Beating around the bush made me tired and baby-sitting those bratty little genin had already done a good job of that.

Chouji looked pained and, for a second, I thought he wasn't going to answer. We opened our mouths to speak at the same time.

"I need your help-"

"Spit it... What? My help?" I asked, "With what?"

Chouji sucked in a breath, "I can't handle Shikamaru on my own anymore. He's not getting any better. He's thin. He's getting worse. He's stopped taking mission and answering summons."

"Um... Wait. I need a second to process... Shikamaru's not doing well?"

"He's doing a lot worse than not well. I'm... I'm worried about him. If he was the type, I’d say I was worried about him... maybe killing himself," Chouji was looking down at the table, his neck tense. I was afraid to study his face for fear that there might be tears in his eyes. I swallowed hard and tried to talk.

"That's... bad. Really bad. But... I'm not sure how I can help. I... I mean, I try, but I'm not gentle. Not even close. I want to help, but I don't know what to do or where to start..."

I felt a wave of anger toward Shikamaru. Me and Chouji were barely trudging along. Now he was making us carry him too? I knew it wasn't really his fault, but at the same time, if me and Chouji were trying, I felt like he could at least match us. It was just like training and school; Chouji and I would try our hardest and then there would be Shikamaru, moseying up behind us at the last possible minute without a care in the world.

"That idiot," I sighed, "Making you worry like this."

"Do you think you'd move in with us?" Chouji asked. He was rubbing his eyes with hard swipes of the back of his hand, "Not just for him. For me. I can't do this on my own anymore. And when it's just me and Shikamaru, it's like..."

He never took his hands from his eyes. He just rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in them.

"It's like being alone," I finished for him. He nodded in his hands.

"I'll do it," I said, "But I don't know where we'll live. I don't really fancy the idea of sleeping on the floor and I'm sure Shikamaru isn't going to want to share a bed with you."

"You know, I only decided to ask you a few days ago. You know why?" He asked. I shook my head. He continued, "Because Yamato is starting to rebuild the old roads, where the flower shop was. Do you think you'd want to live there? At your house?"

My house. The tears I'd been too tired to shed swelled up in an instant.

Chouji glanced up at me with very red eyes and reached out a hand to grab my arm.

"I'm sorry. That was stupid and insensitive. I know I couldn't go back to mine-"

"No, no, Chouji!" I sniffed, "I want it. I want to go home! I didn't even realize... I almost let it get built over. Is it too late, do you think?" I gasped, rising to my feet.

"I'm sure it's not. He only just started and he's been taking his time, rebuilding everything to request. That's where all the old businesses are, so it'll take a few days at least. Last I saw, he was doing the stationary shop."

"We've got to go put the request in," I said, wiping uselessly at the constant stream of tears rolling down my face, "I don't want to miss it!"

"We can wait a minute. It's not like they're doing anymore tonight."

"It's ok. I'm used to crying while I do stuff. It doesn't slow me down at all."

He stood and wrapped my arm in his and we walked to the door together, even though I felt like running. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of something so important.

It wasn't until we were on the street and my tears had slowed a bit that Chouji said, "What about Sakura?"

Of course I swore and felt guilty, but my decision was already firm in my mind. Nothing could extinguish the sudden, overwhelming desire I had to see my home again.

"She'll be ok. She's got her team and her parents. I'll break it to her gently when she gets back. What about Shikamaru? Have you guys already talked about it?"

Chouji looked at the ground as we walked, "Not exactly. I was actually thinking we could use you moving as an excuse. Like, you wanted to move back home, but not alone."

"That's pretty conniving, Chouji."

"Its fine if you don't want to. We can always think of-"

"No, no. It's fine. I get that you don't wanna pressure Shikamaru. But what about your houses? Are you sure Shikamaru doesn't want to go back?"

"We talked about it. I don't think either of us could stand it. I was honestly surprised that you were so willing to rebuild."

"Yeah... I don't know why, but I am," I said, "More than willing. I really want my house. And the shop... Although I don't know who's gonna run it."

"We all will, when we're ready."

Ready. I wasn't sure if I was even ready for the house, but every bone in my body ached with how badly I wanted it.

After a surreal session with a bored looking Yamato-sensei, I found myself standing in my empty, unpainted living room, all alone. I was ready to move in; my few belongings were packed and Shikamaru and Chouji were bringing their stuff too. There wasn't much. My whole life fit in a backpack. The table, bed and couch that Sakura and I had used belonged to the apartment. The few little things Sakura had left behind all fit in her locker at the hospital.

I sat down and waited until the boys came. Now that I had this whole empty house, I didn't know where to go. Did I want to sleep in my old bedroom? There was a third room we never used, a study, which I thought might have been less... I dunno. Less something. But then I thought of one of the boys in my parents’ bedroom and knew that that would have to be my choice. Even with them gone, it didn't seem right to let anyone else claim it. I picked up my bag and moved it into their room, placing it right in the center. Weirdly, I found myself smiling. Chouji or Shikamaru would have to sleep in my room. It was wrong and odd and hilarious all at once and I had to sit down from the uneasy mix of emotions that I was tittering between.

**** **** **** ****

Over the next few weeks, I found out exactly what Chouji was talking about.

Shikamaru was always mopey and tired when we all met up, but at home, he was absolutely useless. He never left his room, not even to eat. And now that he lived with me, he didn’t even have his weekly dinner with me and Chouji to coax him outside. Since we moved in, he had only left once and it was to see the unveiling of a monument dedicated to our fallen family and comrades. I cried, Chouji stared at the ground and Shikamaru just stood there like he was in another world, not even bothering to look at the clouds or sigh and complain. He was just gone.

It wasn't until Chouji and I decided to take a trip to Iya Valley, the place my parents used to source their flowers from, that anything changed.

**** **** **** ****
Shikamaru didn't want to go, of course. Our parents used to take us to the river in Iya valley to play when we were kids and for a second I thought he was going to plead out of going on the grounds of too many memories, but he never said anything like that. His only protest was "It takes too long to get there."

Of course, such a stupid complaint could be ignored, so I brow-beat, bullied and finally dragged the lazy bum out into the street and forced him to walk until we reached the gate where Chouji and I had planned to hitch a ride in the back of a farmer's cart. There were shipments of crops coming in to Konoha almost every day, desperately trying to keep up with the need for fresh food.

We blended in with the morning crowds, the three of us, in our black impersonal clothes and our worn sandals and hatai-ate. As I walked, I dragged Shikamaru behind me with one hand and carried a small bag containing the lunch that Chouji had packed for us in the other. I remember glancing back and seeing Shikamaru hunched over with his hair untied and sweeping his thin shoulders- I mean, Shikamaru was never one of the biggest dudes in the first place, but he had never looked like a civilian. He didn't look like he could fight off a couple genin, let alone any rogue ninjas he might have come across during a mission. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that he hadn't been working.

I readjusted my grip on his limp hand and he glanced up at me briefly. I bit my lip and turned to stare up the street in front of us. Quick, hot anger had filled me to my toes. I didn't want to see that dead look on Shikamaru's face.

**** **** **** ****

The ride went by swiftly. The farmer, overly kind and grateful to ninja, even let me ride in the front, which I did to save my clothes from vegetable slime. We made nice conversation for the entire ride, but there was no noise from the cart bed behind me.

We were dropped at the edge of town. It was a tiny village with only a few blocks of businesses, all of which had a nice, worn in feel. It was crazy; before, if someone had told me that all of the old rambling buildings in Konoha were going to be rebuilt, I would have been overjoyed. But now the newness felt strange and raw. The edges were too sharp on the sides of restaurants and apartment complexes. They were like the protruding bones in my jaw and Shikamaru's cheeks and Chouji's shoulders. Everything had lost its weight.

We found the shop and did our business. I thought it would take a lot longer, but really, it was just a walk in, thirty minute conversation and consultation. The old woman who ran the shop recognized us. After she gave us her condolences and shed a tear or two, things moved blindingly fast. Her part of the conversation went something like, "Reopened the store, eh? Do you want to place an order? Half an order? A third? Not enough money? You can pay us after you make a profit. Your parents were good people."

And that's how simple it was. I mean, sure, it was just one order (and a crazy tiny order at that. I was cynically sure that that was the only reason they allowed us to pay them for it after we had sold them), but it was real. When we walked back out back into the street, the sunlight had broken through the haze that had been drifting overhead since I woke up. I squinted at Chouji.

"That was easy. I didn't really expect to place an order this time."

"Well, yeah. We don't have any money, so it was definitely unexpected."

"I'm not sure I'm ready," I said and glanced back at Shikamaru. I half expected him to roll his eyes and say something about the indecisive nature of women. He didn't, but since I heard it in my head any way, I sighed and said, "But I guess I'd better get ready."

"Don't push yourself," Chouji warned, "We can eat lunch and think about it, then go back."

"What do you think, Shikamaru?" I asked.

"I think you should do what you want," he said simply.

"What if I'm not ready?"

"This isn't anything that hard. You can do it whenever you want. And you obviously want to try it since you dragged us out here."

He was partially right. I knew how to sell flowers, set up a shop, run the books. But I didn't know my own mind as well as he thought I did. I likely wouldn't know if I actually wanted to run the shop until I was right in the middle of doing it. If the time flew quickly and I didn't feel like breaking down into a pile of tears, I would know I was on the right path.

We spent the rest of the day in the park by the river. I didn't go back and cancel the order, even though I felt a little queasy as I ate my sandwich. Shikamaru laid in the grass, his hand over his eyes, his portion of food untouched. Chouji watched him with a worried expression.

"I'll have to teach you guys some stuff," I said. Just like Chouji, I found myself looking down at Shikamaru, "How to keep track of money and inventory... I doubt we'll have a cash register any time soon. Those things are expensive if I remember correctly..."

"That's fine," Chouji said.

Shikamaru must have felt my glaring even with his eyes closed because he said, "Fine," softly.

Chouji and I met each other's gaze. We were way too relieved to hear that kind of response. I felt another tingle of anger toward Shikamaru for stressing us out so much, but I didn't let it show on my face. Chouji looked so relieved and I didn’t want to ruin it for him. But I should have known better than to get my hopes up.

**** **** **** ****

The first week was fine. Chouji and even Shikamaru, to an extent, were willing learners. We made hand printed fliers and a big sign, letting people know Yamanaka Flowers was back in business. Our first day open was a breathless, happy affair where everyone we knew came by to congratulate us on reopening, usually buying a bouquet while they were at it. Kurenai-sensei brought us a big bag of contraband goodies to congratulate us (Shikamaru was mysteriously absent when this occurred). By 5:00, we were sold out. I hugged Shikamaru and Chouji and Shikamaru even complained about working in the store over dinner and said that he might check the mission board. Things seemed like they were going to be alright.

I made a quick run to Iya Valley the next day and repaid the flower people and took another, slightly larger, order on credit. I wasn't really looking to turn a profit (my mother rarely did, if her complaints about finances were any indication of her success), but I was excited. When I was in the shop, even though it was emptier than it used to be, I could pretend I was the old Ino for a while. It felt good to feel normal, like, in a regular mood, for the first time in months.

That's when the dreams came.

I hadn't been dreaming at all. Not since the battle. Every night was a free fall into emptiness that left me groggy and a bit dazed when I woke up, but blessedly empty until I remembered what had happened.

The first night I dreamed, I saw my father and mother torn apart. There was some convoluted dream plot where someone put a bomb in the flower shop and the only way to save them was to get there before my father opened the drawer the bomb was in. The explosion happened as soon as I walked into the shop. I felt the blast pushing me back, away from my parents where they were being blown to pieces in slow motion. My wild flailing woke me up. I couldn't breathe, even when I sat up and turned on the light. I walked out into the living room, trying to get some distance and wake myself all the way up, but I got more than I bargained for when a strange blob on the floor started moving in the dark. I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Baka," it said, a little too late for comfort. It was Shikamaru.

"Who is?" I snapped at him. I was mad, but my breath was coming out like I'd just run a thousand laps around Konoha. "Why are you on the floor?" I gasped.

Shikamaru gave me a Gallic shrug from his prone position on the floor.

Chouji came walking into the room, looking like he had already been awake for awhile.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his eyes scanning both of us.

"Shikamaru's trying to kill me," I said, pointing him with my foot, "He's rolling around on the floor in here in the middle of the night."

Chouji gave Shikamaru a questioning gaze. Shikamaru reluctantly rose to his knees.

"I was just napping. I'll move," he said.

Chouji turned to me, "What are you doing up?"

"M-me?" I stuttered, "Nothing! I just woke up."

"Well, it's five. We might as well stay up now. It’ll be nice to start the first day of our training bright and early."

"What?" Shikamaru and I said at once.

"I talked to Lee yesterday. He said he was starting a training group for our graduating class since I guess a lot of us have been slacking. He was going to do Tuesdays and Thursdays after he got done at the academy. I told him we'd be there."

"Training? With fuzzy brows?" my whole body drooped at the idea.

"We used to train every day," Chouji said, "I didn't like it, but it was necessary. We can't stop now just because there's no one here to make us do it. We have to work that structure into our lives again."

"Work at the academy if you want structure," Shikamaru said mutinously. Although I understood the logic of what Chouji was saying, I secretly agreed with Shikamaru.

"Team Kakashi started training as soon as they were healed up," Chouji said, mostly to me, probably trying to appeal to my pride.

"Team Kakashi didn't lose anyone! They gained, if anything! Of course they're not having any problems!" I surprised myself by shouting, "I didn't see Lee or Tenten doing anything before this."

"Well they are now, so we will too." Chouji looked firm and for the first time, possibly ever, I felt a little intimidated by the authority he was projecting, "We are part of a legacy. We're not doing ourselves or our parents justice if we just sit around here and sell flowers. It's a good thing that you wanted to reopen the shop, don't get me wrong, but that's not your only priority," he said to me, "Your ninja and duties come first."

Shikamaru said nothing, but walked into his room (my former bedroom) and shut the door. I guess that was his answer.

Chouji looked furious. I was surprised; he rarely got mad, especially at Shikamaru. Suddenly, he turned back to me.

"If you could just support me a little in what I’m trying to do, that would be great," he said shortly before stomping off. Of course I couldn't let that kind of comment go, so I followed him into the kitchen.

"And what exactly is that?" I demanded.

He whipped around on his heel, "If Shikamaru doesn't start taking care of himself, he'll die."

"What'dyou mean?" I asked

"What do I mean? Look at him. He hasn’t eaten a proper meal in months and I haven’t seen him eat anything since last week. He has barely any muscle left. And I think..." Chouji looked behind me before grabbing my arm and pulling me close. He whispered, "I think he's just waiting around, checking the mission board for the perfect mission to let himself die on."

We stood there a long time. I pushed my bangs out of my eyes, grabbed on to Chouji's arm where it was resting on my shoulder. Finally, I asked, "Do you really believe that?"

"I wouldn't have told you if I didn't," Chouji said, looking over at the opposite wall.

I leaned against the cabinets, gradually sliding to the floor and Chouji sat down beside me. Why? Why wasn't he getting better?

After a few long minutes lost in our own thoughts, I spoke softly, "What are we gonna do?"

Chouji put his hand on my knee.

"Just our best. We'll force him to live if we have to. Hell, I'll let you take control of his body and eat for him if it comes to it. We just need to keep an eye on him. Make him go places with us. Keep him out of his head."

"We already do that though. As much as we can. I can't carry him on my back if he refuses to go somewhere."

Chouji stood back up slowly, "We have to do what we have to do," he said simply, then opened the cupboard above his head. I sat and listened to the clanging of dishes as he began making breakfast.

**** **** **** ****

Tough love was not a method that worked for our team, or at least, that’s what I had always thought. I was proud and didn't like being told what to do. Shikamaru's inner smart-aleck always came out when anyone other than the Hokage gave him orders, and Chouji was usually more than a bit obstinate and whiny when he was under direct pressure to do something he didn't want to do. Asuma-sensei never tried it and prodded us along with an easy-going demeanor, saving his seriousness for only the most important occasions.

But as I was trying to keep up with Chouji, I had to wonder if he would have developed further under a more serious teacher who would have pushed him harder.

Because he definitely favored the drill sergeant teaching style. His intensity, coupled with Lee's friendly, albeit insane work ethic, left me from feeling normal sometimes to actively wanting to die on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Every time I was about to tell Lee to shove off with his ridiculous routines, Chouji fixed me with a look that said, "Remember our conversation in the kitchen," and then I wanted to kick Shikamaru in the face instead. Why should I have to suffer more just because he was being a brat who wanted to worry everyone? He was barely even putting forth any effort anyway, often cheating on drills and sneakily ducking out of running laps.

He couldn't cheat at sparring though, and that's where I tended to let off my steam toward him. Unfortunately, it wasn't really that fun to hit him when he was just flopping around. He also seemed to welcome the blows, honestly, which kinda took the satisfaction out. I didn't want to contribute any sort of weird, self-harming habits he was trying to indulge in.

A reprieve finally came after the first week when I had to pick up a flower order on Tuesday, only an hour before our training session. The training group had widened to include anyone who was in town at the time; the Thursday before, Shikamaru and I had flopped around alongside the ultra-serious faces of Hinata, Kiba and Sai, the latter of whom I noticed was giving me odd, inscrutable looks that probably meant that my form was even worse than I imagined it was.

When I begged off of Tuesday training to Chouji, citing the flower shop as an excuse, Shikamaru overheard me and tacked himself on to the trip right away.

"I'll go and make sure the math's right. Also, it looks like the weather is turning bad, so it’d probably be better if someone went along with her."

Math and weather were pretty lame as far as excuses went, but Shikamaru seemed to gain a little energy at the thought of skipping out of training and Chouji didn't have the heart to say no to him when it came down to it. Sure, Chouji had cajoled, manipulated, guilted and lectured Shikamaru into doing any number of things he hadn't wanted to do in the last couple of weeks, but Chouji was helpless in the face of a direct request. Thankfully, Shikamaru had been super malleable lately and didn't make them that often.

So it was on foot that Shikamaru and I set out for Iya Valley. We had missed the morning carts (somewhat conveniently, as I didn't want to risk getting back in time to catch any of the training) and we had to go on foot until we were able to hitch a ride with the next person out.

Of course, running was also out of the question, leaving me and Shikamaru all set for a nice stroll in the cool air with the perfumed smell of fall and trees.

We walked side by side, both of us with our hair down, Shikamaru squinting into the sun like he was disoriented. In fact, he was acting a bit clumsy as well. I would have suspected he had been drinking if I couldn't smell the scent of his shampoo and soap wafting over to me on the wind. There was none of the booze that I sometimes sniffed out on Asuma-sensei at the end of day after a boring mission.

I watched him as we walked. His unsteadiness progressed. At one point, his hand brushed my shoulder as he tried to catch his balance. And we were barely even into the Konoha forest.

I stopped and steadied him with my hands on his shoulders and asked, "What's wrong?" He avoided my gaze, staring past me into the distance.

There were dark circles under his eyes where permanent lines of tiredness were growing on his face. His cheeks had hollowed out over the prominent bones of his face. His eyes were red, bloodshot. I could feel his bones under my hands. I felt sure that, if I wanted to, I'd be able to pick him up and toss him like Sakura could during one of her chakra enhanced moments.

"Do you need to sit down?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine. Just tired."

"How can you be tired? You slept like fifteen hours straight last night," I said. Luckily, before we could get too deep into it, I saw a cart rambling up behind us.

I pulled him to the side of the road and we waved until the driver, a whiskered old man, reluctantly stopped and asked, "You two Konoha ninja?" and we were able to get a ride the rest of the way.

**** **** **** ****

I left Shikamaru sitting outside as I quickly went into the shop and did my business. Then, as had become tradition, we walked to the river and sat and in the grass to eat our lunch as the shop readied our order for us.

It was getting darker as deep grey clouds rolled across the sky. Even the river, usually calm and quietly gurgling, was surging and splashing against rocks and submerged logs as we settled down beside it. We might have needed to eat inside, but I thought if we ate fast enough, we could miss the rain.

I unpacked my bag and pulled out Chouji's carefully paper wrapped sandwiches and snacks and looked up at Shikamaru, "Ok, no more dancing around this. You're going to eat this sandwich Chouji made for you. If you try to resist, I have been authorized to use force. Namely, to take over your body and eat it for you."

I placed the sandwich in his hand where he turned it over a few times, examining it, then chucked it into the river.

My mouth dropped open. It took me a few seconds to even process what he'd done and after that, I just stared at him, waiting for him to crack a smile or smirk like it was one of his crabby jokes, but he wouldn't look at me. He just stared out at the water. My shock turned into anger.

"You... incredible... ungrateful... asshole!" I shouted, "What is wrong with you?!"

"Don't you put your hands up in my direction," Shikamaru said lowly as I raised my hands and formed a triangle. I hadn't used my body switch jutsu in a while, but I was used to connecting directly with Shikamaru. The last time we had been connected flashed into my mind. I’d been receiving messages from dad when it happened. I had been too busy feeling my own pain, but if I had reached out, reached into him, I maybe could have felt his pain too and had some idea of what was going on with him.

Suddenly the body swap jutsu was seeming like an even better idea.

He no doubt sensed a change in my intent because his shadow suddenly became visible. But it was too late.

"Exchange!"

"Get... out... you... stupid... woman!" Echoed Shikamaru's voice from far away. I could only feel or see thoughts that he willingly shared; otherwise the body swap would be a wonderful interrogation tool. I sighed and said, "I guess you should have believed me when I said I'd use force." It was a little surprising to my ears to hear Shikamaru's voice with so much life in it, even if I was the one making them come out.

I sat down quickly and took my sandwich from my bag, reveling a bit, as I always did when I body swapped, in the strange feeling of another person’s limbs and hands. But I had little time to waste. Shikamaru was fighting hard and I was struggling too, thanks to my lack of training in the last few months.

Then something snapped. A torrent of emotions, dark and primal, almost beyond my understanding, flooded through his mind. He had never been so mad... I honestly didn't think Shikamaru was capable of this depth of feeling.

I crashed back into my body in a dizzy rush. Just as I was getting used to the feel of my arms and legs in the grass, I heard Shikamaru stomping toward me.

"Do you think you can just do whatever you want?" He wasn't yelling, but his voice was louder than I'd heard in months.

"What about you? You're the one doing whatever you want! You don’t care that people are worried about you! You don't care that we think you could DIE!" I shouted. I pushed myself off the ground, but Shikamaru grabbed my arms and shoved me back down. I kicked him in the ankle and he stumbled back, but only for a half a second. I scrambled to my feet using every bit of agility I had, my heart slamming in my chest.

“Worry about yourself!” he said, his voice finally raised to a shout, “Why don’t you focus on your own problems for a change instead of trying to get into everyone else’s business and fix them! I’m not Sakura! I’m not Chouji! I’m not here for you to worry about! I’m not a little broken doll that you can fix!”

His face was right in mine. He was shouting as loud as he could and all of the blood left in his body seemed to have rushed to his cheeks. He was trying to grab a hold of me; I didn’t know what he would do if he actually got his hands in a good grip on me, but I wasn’t about to let him. We locked hands and tried to twist and pull each other into submission. A few months ago he could have physically overpowered me, but with him half-starved and fueled by purely anger, we were dead matched.

“I don’t see people as toys to amuse myself! Caring about people and wanting to help them doesn’t make me a bad person!” As I shouted, I shoved my knee into the inside of his and made his leg buckle. I used that opportunity to push him with all my might. He didn’t let me go and we fell, stumbling as we held on to each other.

“I’ve seen the way you chase after people. You’d do anything to distract yourself from your own pain, right?” he grunted as we wrestled back to our feet. He shifted his grip and locked my arms at my elbows. I felt my feet rise off the ground slightly before he slung me to the ground. I fell awkwardly on to my side, right on to the pebbles by the edge of the river. I felt the scrapes on my arm bleeding as I bounded back toward him. He didn’t budge an inch when I threw my first punch at him.

“You’re a vapid, shallow little brat! You can’t even face up to your own pain!” He shouted, violently knocking my fists out of the way when they came at him, “You think you can understand what I’m feeling?!”

He threw, not pushed, me back again, with no regard for my bleeding arms and still hurling insults at me whenever he could think of something new to say. I honestly didn’t even hear most of them. I was just trying to get to him; lay my hands on him and make him stop for a second.

Aside from sparring, we’d never fought physically. I might have punched him in the arm or something, or he might have pushed me and not meant anything by it, but we had never fought for real. We were tussling again, neither of us able to throw punches, but he got the better of me. We had somehow fought our way to the edge of the park and into the surrounding forest and he was still pushing me further. I felt rough bark scrape my back through my shirt as my head knocked against a tree. I was dizzy and he was still yelling.

“Does this make you happy? Are you happy now?” he asked again, shaking me by the shoulders, “I’m finally sharing with you how I feel!”

“No you’re not!” I shouted, even though I felt a little weak, “You’re just screaming at me. You’re not telling me anything, just like always!”

“You don’t want to know how I feel! You just want to make yourself feel better by hearing about how miserable I am! What I want to know is why I should have to say it! Are you that stupid?! It’s not obvious?!”

“That’s not why! You stupid fucking idiot!” I pushed him away from me, but came right back toward me. I shoved him back again, “You’re the one who doesn’t get it! I’m trying to make you feel better! I care about you! I don’t want you wandering around miserable for the rest of your life and that’s how it’s going to be if you keep all this crap inside and just try to hibernate it off.”

“What if you don’t want to hear what I have to say?” he asked lowly.

“Of course I do! Would I be trying this hard if I didn’t?”

“What if I told you it makes me sick to wake up in your old house and see your face every day? That I can’t stand looking at Chouji. Especially when you’re both all happy. When he’s cooking his mom’s recipes or when you’re arranging flowers. It makes me furious. And sick. And jealous.”

I started to talk, but he turned around quickly and shouted, “Do you think I ever wanted to feel those things about the two of you? Do you think it makes me feel better to admit that!?”

I took a step toward him. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he pulled away.

“Don’t pretend you’re not disgusted-“

“I understand!” I shouted.

“You’re just saying that,” he scoffed, “I just told you I wanted to see you as miserable as I am.”

“No, I get it. I swear. Every time I see Sakura, I love her, but at the same time, I hate her. She has her parents. She has parents and she doesn’t even see them. She never grew up afraid. They live out of danger and they’re there whenever she wants them. And it makes me have awful thoughts and ideas.”

“But you and Chouji are both in the same position as I am,” he said, “And I know it’s wrong to want to be doing better than you. It’s… not logical and it’s… it just makes my life more troublesome… And it’s not even just that. I’m… I’m jealous of all your parents left you,” he said, “They left you flowers and a shop and your whole temperament. Chouji was so close to his family… he’s just like his dad. We all inherited techniques, but you two got more than that. Whereas the only person I was ever really like, who ever really got me, was Asuma-sensei. I just acted like a bastard… I didn’t want to see things like my parents did. Aside from learning secret techniques, I didn’t take anything they offered. I thought I was better than them. I didn’t want to hear my mom tell me how to live when I knew I was smarter than she was. I didn’t want my dad’s trivial advice. I chose my own way and now…It feels like they’re really dead. Not just gone, but erased because I never appreciated them or took what they tried to give me. And it makes me fucking…”

His voice was so tight and his fist were clenched at his sides. His neck was painfully angled toward the ground and it looked like he wanted to use all of the tension in his body to self-destruct. We were both still breathing heavy from our fight. My mind was completely blank, but I already had an answer for him. It was something I’d known to be true my whole life.

“But Shika, you did take something from them. You took me and Chouji. They gave us to you, our parent’s legacy of friendship. They might have forced it on us, but we grew to accept it. It was one of the most important things they tried to beat into us. When you said you would move in with me and Chouji… even though you had all these feelings and you didn’t want to… that was your parents getting through to you. It was them answering through you.”

The sound of the river was all around us. It was quiet. I wrapped my arms around him and he didn’t pull away. I couldn’t tell if he was crying.

“Don’t hold it in anymore. I don’t care if you hate me. Because I know that the seed they planted will keep us all together in the end. So no matter what you say, you can’t hurt me.”

We stayed in the woods a long time. The sun disappeared, more clouds moved in. We had to have been there for hours, but time seemed to have stopped. We sat down at some point, but I don’t really remember when. I pulled Shikamaru back, into my arms, until his head rested on my lap. There was the roll of thunder in the distance, but it all blended together. The smell of everything, the water in the air, his anger, my feelings, they were merging and getting purified somehow… It wasn’t until the rain began to fall that the spell was broken.

He got up first, and then helped me up. My legs were a little weak and I stumbled into him. He caught me. He wasn’t smiling. I had no idea what he was thinking, actually. But he caught me. We walked out of the camping area hand in hand.

We went into town and got a room at the B&B our parents used all the time. They recognized us and were really nice, even though I think we both looked crazy, covered in dirt and a bit of blood and soaking wet from head to toe. We took baths in the communal bathrooms and met back up in the room.

He beat me there, and was standing by the bed when I walked in. His hair was down, hanging around his shoulders. I noticed his face had an edge of scruff to it; he’d have to shave almost every day if he didn’t want to end up looking like his father. He was wearing one of the tan robes that the inn provided; his wet, muddy clothes were hung across the back of a wooden chair.

“Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t think to get us separate rooms.”

“So what?” I asked, “Since when have we used separate rooms?”

He shrugged and looked down, “We couldn’t have afforded it either.”

“Exactly, so…?”

“So…” he sighed.

“Are you tired?” I prompted, “Or have you gotten your second wind and wanna talk some more?” I asked, smiling sweetly as I plopped my own basket of wet clothes down on the floor and inched my way between him and the bed.

He didn’t take the bait though. He never did, “Those things I said—"

“Don’t worry about them. Don’t think about them—"

“I meant them. I didn’t lie. Sometimes when I look at you I’m so angry that I don’t know what to do with myself. “

A ton of commiserations swelled to the tip of my tongue at that moment, but I kept my mouth shut. He needed to say whatever it was he was about to say.

“And there have been a lot of times in my life when I didn’t like you. When we were in the academy, you were the most annoying person in the world. And you weren’t that much better with Asuma watching over us. I think he thought you were more than he could handle at times, too. Chouji and I have plotted against you a lot. We always tried to lose you during practice, or when we were running laps, but you always kept up with us those times, just to be annoying. And-“

“Is anything nice going to come at the end of this string of insults?” I finally demanded.

He smiled then, “I never hated you. I don’t hate you. I can’t hate you. And… now you’re one of the people I most respect in the world.”

He side-stepped me and threw himself backward on to the bed, his wet hair splaying underneath him.

“I thought there was nothing I could learn from my parents… And I found out how wrong I was when I lost them…And realizing that has made me look at you differently too. Even if I get really mad at you sometimes, I’ll never hate you.”

“Do you have to keep saying ‘not hate you’? Wouldn’t it be better if you just said ‘I love you’ instead?” I asked.

To my surprise, he rolled over on his side, facing away from me. I stomped over to him and leapt on to the bed, landing on my knees beside him.

“Are you ignoring me?” I demanded. He said nothing. I poked him in the back, “Hey, how old are you? After all the honest stuff you just told me, you can’t say ‘I love you’ to me? I can say it to you! I love you! I love Nara Shikamaru. And Chouji as well. I love you both. Love love love love,” I said, bending into his ear.

He rolled back over to glare at me, “I just poured my heart out to you, you insensitive wench. Are you really demanding a confession on top of everything else?”

“Is it that hard of a confession to make?! Even after all of that?”

“Fine… I love…,” he mumbled, whispering the last word so low that I couldn’t even hear it.

“Good. I love you too, Shikamaru,” I chirped. He covered his eyes with his hands.

“What’s with that reaction?” I squawked, “Are you really this shy?”

“Can we go to sleep now? I’m drained.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, let me get the light.”

**** **** **** ****

“Wait a second,” Sakura said, “After all of that, all those emotions, you got in bed together and just slept?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s me and Shikamaru, right? Being in a bed together wasn’t exactly an erotic fantasy.”

“So when the hell did the two of you get together?!”

“Easy, girl! I had to tell you that part so you would properly understand the context of the next bit.”

“Hmph. I was promised a sexy story…” she said, pretending to pout, but not quite hiding her grin.

“We’re getting there,” Ino said calmly, “So…”

**** **** **** ****

That was just the beginning of everything. If we hadn’t gone through that, we would have never had the fight that lead to us getting together.

It was two days later. Chouji had woken us early; probably as punishment for staying overnight at a hotel the night before and having a nice long sleep in (with Shika sleeping in longer than me. But man, could that boy sleep).

I had just showered and gotten ready in the bathroom. I was on my way to the kitchen to do the dishes Chouji had left after breakfast, hoping to sneak in a few more hours of sleep when I was done with them, when an odd sound made me stop in front of my old bedroom door.

It got very quiet. No doubt Shikamaru heard me stop walking, but… before I stopped, it sounded like he was sniffling.

“Shikamaru?” I asked, knocking on the door, “Are you alright?”

I grasped the handle and tried to turn it, but it was locked. He answered, “I’m good.”

“No you’re not. Let me in,” I said, wiggling the door handle.

“Go away. Baaaka,” he said. He was trying to cover it, but his voice sounded congested and nasal.

It didn’t make any sense. He had been really good at breakfast. I mean, he was groggy, but he actually ate like, half of his plate, which is really a normal sized portion when the person cooking isn’t Chouji. And he seemed like his old self, too, complaining about the duties that Chouji signed us up for and being generally pissy. It was great.

Luckily, I had already learned the trick to these new doors as I often locked myself out of my own bedroom (It’s a really strange phenomenon, but it keeps happening to me. I just automatically lock the door behind me as I’m leaving and I don’t even realize it until the door is shut. But that’s a different problem in my life of many difficulties). I held the knob tight against the lock and jiggled the door, shaking it up in its frame as much as possible.

It swung open and I peeked inside, only to see a very naked Shikamaru holding a towel in front of his, well, most important bits. There was a long line of flesh exposed, from his feet up the sides of his thighs to his hips bones.

“Ino!” he shouted.

“Sorry!” I said, turning around.

I didn’t realize he’d been in the shower. He must have gotten in at the same time as me. Still, thighs aside, I also got a look at his face and it was puffy with tears.

“I just wanted to check on you,” I said to the wall, smoothing my hands over my own damp hair to hide my discomfort, “I thought I heard you… you sounded upset, I mean. Through the door.” I heard the sounds of him slipping into his clothes.

Very warm hands suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pushed me toward the door.

“Just because I opened up to you once doesn’t mean you can just barge in on me whenever you want,” he said, a bit too loudly into my ear as he jostled me forward. I flattened my feet and grabbed on to the doorframe as I passed through it.

“Yes it does!” I said, “You’re my teammate. I’m allowed to care about you and check on you,” I said, struggling to keep my body locked against the door frame as he continued to try to eject me out into the hall.

“So now I’m not allowed to have any expectation of privacy? Is that it?” he grumbled.

“This isn’t about privacy!” I said, suddenly bucking my butt into his stomach, trying to throw off his iron grip. He released me for just a moment and I dashed back into the room. I saw he had slipped into his boxers, but nothing else, which didn’t give me much to grab on to on his body. He seized me again, but I took a hold of his dresser. His face was close to mine as he tried to pry me off of his furniture.

“Instead of fighting and trying to hide it, why don’t you just let me help you?” I asked, trying to get him to make eye contact with me while avoiding wet strands of his hair that were trying to cling to my face.

“You already helped me,” he grunted. Me and the dresser slowly squeeked toward the door. My hands were starting to hurt from gripping the sharp wooden edges so hard, but he wasn’t giving me a chance to readjust my hold.

I placed my head against his chest, right under his sternum, and tried to push him off of me with the strength of my neck alone, “Then why don’t you let me comfort you?” I growled. The angle I was at left me staring at our feet.

Suddenly his grip loosened and he backed away. He was pressing his palm to his forehead, his eyes closed.

“If this is your idea of comforting, then I don’t want it.” He opened his eyes and glared at me, “Why do you have to fight so hard? Haven’t you matured at all?”

“I’ve matured!” I said, even as I released the monkey grip I had on his dresser. I flexed my sore hands and walked toward him, “You’re the immature one. Why don’t you want to let anyone help you? I thought we already talked about this.”

“What can you do for me when I’m just sitting here crying and being pathetic?” he demanded.

“Baka,” I said. I walked up to him and put my arms around him. I had to stand on my toes to have my face rest on his shoulder. I leaned into him and squeezed lightly. We stood there for a while in silence before he finally said, “I don’t really feel like crying anymore, actually.”

“Because of my hug?” I asked brightly, releasing him.

“Because you distracted me with your brattiness.”

“Hmph. You’re the brat. Why didn’t you just let me hug you to begin with?”

“Whatever. It worked. I’m not crying anymore. You can go.”

He stared expectantly at me, but I wasn’t convinced. “That’s really not a good thing. If you need to cry, I want you to get it out. I don’t like thinking that I got in the way of a good cry.”

“Well then next time don’t just barge in like an animal.”

But even as he said that, I pushed him over. He landed on his butt on the bed.

“There. We’ll just hang out here awhile until you relax enough to cry again,” I said, plopping down beside him.

“So now you’re trying to make me cry?”

“No. We’ll just relax here awhile until I know you feel alright. Is that better?”

“I’m telling you, I’m fine.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, “What’s the big deal? You were probably just going to lay back down for a while anyway, right?”

He raised his arms above his head. His entire naked torso was laid out in front of me. Even with the wiriness of his light muscles, it seemed incredibly vulnerable.

“And you’re not going away no matter what I say, right?” he asked mockingly. But despite his tone, he didn’t try to make me leave and I had a little mental victory cheer as I plopped down beside him, my head landing on his arm where it was sprawled across the bed.

“Nope. I’m staying right here.”

He sighed. I smiled. Outside, autumn was turning cool, but the room was warm and the smell of clean skin was rising off of both of us. Shikamaru’s new bed was comfortable and I felt like I just had a mini-work out. I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep.

** ** ** ** **

I woke with a gasp. I was supposed to meet Chouji at noon at the academy for work. I pushed myself up to the look at the clock on Shika’s dresser, then lowered my head with relief. It was eleven. I’d only been asleep for about two hours.

But as soon as that relief came over me, I tensed up again. There was bare skin beneath my cheek and I could feel that the rest of my body was in a similar position. I pushed myself up again only to see Shikamaru’s face. He blinked his eyes open and looked up at me with mild confusion.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice gruff from sleep.

“I… uh,” against my will, my face felt hot. I had always had terrible manners in my sleep (“I know that,” Sakura said, “During our sleep-overs you always crowded me until I was basically on the floor.”) It might have been one thing if we were both fully dressed, but my hands were on his bare chest, my leg was in between his, and by the feel of it through the t-shirt on my stomach, his shorts were both riding low and high, bunched around his midsection in a rather revealing way.

Shikamaru seemed to notice our predicament at the same time as I did because his eyebrow did this sort of weird twitch, even as I tried to keep my cool. Now the trouble was, if I got up, would I see… something? Just as I decided to turn my head and just roll to the side like I was unaware, I felt something… appear…. between us. Shikamaru had officially changed from confused and uncomfortable to red and embarrassed before I finally just rolled to the side, turning my head to look at the wall while I did it.

“Uh, um… Sorry, Shika. I’m clingy in my sleep, I guess,” I babbled as I felt him moving and adjusting himself behind me as I slid to the opposite edge of the bed, “We have to get up to meet Chouji soon, so I should probably let you get dressed and all…”

He didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if I had ever managed to make Shikamaru embarrassed in our whole life, so I had no idea how he would react. I walked to the door without looking back at him and closed it gently behind me.

I-

**** **** **** ****

“You’re just toying with me now,” Sakura said peevishly, “You were in bed with him. He was practically undressed, and that’s still not when-“

“Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. Just sleeping next to your half naked teammate does not mean you just start boinking. I mean, how many times have you seen Naruto like, entirely naked? I’m not even on his team and I’m fairly sure I’ve seen him at some point—"

“Maybe when he was twelve! Get on with the story already!”

“I’m getting to it! We’re almost there!”

**** **** **** ****

I stood outside his door. My face still felt hot and I had no idea what to do.

Was he mad? Was he just embarrassed? I knew I was. But I also knew I didn’t want to let this thing fester until I lost all of the friendship points I had just gained with him.

But I couldn’t exactly just barge back in and say, “Hey, Shikamaru. I’m sorry I felt your penis. Don’t worry about it; it was indirect anyway, right? Two layers of indirectness. Your shorts and my clothes… and my underwear. So actually, three layers! Mega indirect!”

I was still trying to figure it out in my head when his door opened and I leapt out of the way like a scalded cat, smacking my forehead against the opposite wall with a painful thump. I felt Shikamaru grab me by the shoulders as I careened back, holding my throbbing head.

“Baka onna,” he chided as he let me go, “Why were you standing right in front of my door?”

“B-because… I’m sorry!” My head was throbbing, but that was just the painful distraction I needed to make me able to bring up my team-mate’s erection, “When I… laid on top of you. It was an accident. We were asleep, so... that’s all that happened.”

He tsked, “I know that.” He had put on pants, but had left off his shirt. His hair had dried into its usual spikey mess.

“I just wanted to let you know that it’s no big deal. Dudes have penises and sometimes, things happen to them. It’s all perfectly natural,” I rambled.

His frown deepened, “I know it’s perfectly natural. You don’t have to tell me-“

“Yeah! Good!” I chirped.

“What’s so ‘yeah good’ about it? Just how hard did you hit your head just now? …Are you crying?” he asked, looking down at me, perplexed.

“My eyes are just watering. It hurts,” I admitted. I hadn’t noticed it as I tried to apologize to Shikamaru, but tears were welling up in my eyes. Shikamaru sighed. He seemed to have an unlimited amount of energy to do that. But he plopped his arms on top of my shoulders and rested them there while looking down at me with obvious distain in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” I asked, wiping the tears from my face. I was worried they wouldn’t stop (my tears didn’t stop so easily these days, no matter what caused them), but Shika’s strange embrace was distracting.

“I’m hugging you. Since you’re crying. It’s what you were trying to do to me, right?”

“Um…” I said. Our bodies were about a foot apart and he was using my shoulders as an arm rest, “Usually when you hug, you stand a little closer.”

“Well I’m not squeezing you like you did to me. It felt like I was being mugged by a monkey.”

“It did not!” I said, knocking his arms off of me and taking a step back, “Can’t you even enjoy a hug without over analyzing it?”

“I guess not,” he said, smirking.

“Well I feel sorry for you, then,” I turned to walk to my room. My eyes still felt a little teary, but I tried to fight it as I heard his footsteps behind me.

“What are you doing? Are you still crying?” he asked in a mocking tone.

I tossed my head and my damp hair flew at his face, but he avoided it, “Why do you care? Apparently I’m just some kind of annoying monkey person to you.”

“You are annoying,” he admitted.

I raised my fist at him, “Now you’re being mean to me?” I shouted, my eyes welling over again. It was embarrassing to cry while you were angry, but I felt like crying even more than before.

He studied my face and my upturned fist for a moment before slumping back into his usual posture, “I guess fighting with you to cheer you up isn’t a good strategy,” he said, dropping his smirk.

“You were trying to cheer me up?” I asked, wiping the tears that were freely flowing down my face.

“Using the method you always use on me,” he held up his fists to match mine, and smiled humorlessly, “I guess I’m pretty bad at comforting girls though.”

“That’s… really nice,” I stuttered out as the kindness of his words finally got through to me and made me cry harder. Before I knew it, he had pulled me into a proper hug with my arms and face pressed against his chest.

“Maa… maa… Why are you crying?” he sighed into the crown of my head.

“I dunno…” I sniffled into his shoulder as a reply, “You promise you’re… not mad…?”

“Baka… why would I be mad? You’re the one I thought would be angry. Or are you crying because of… my… um…”

“No,” I replied as he probably wracked his brain for a non-upsetting way to say penis. The injury had set off my tears initially, but I had been more than a little worried about Shika being mad at me. I seemed to spend a lot of time in the past few days making sure I didn’t lose the connection I had made with him that day by the river. Why did he have to be so hard to hold on to?

We stood there awhile as I cried and eventually, he led me into my bedroom and sat me down on the edge of my bed and then sat down beside me. He wasn’t trying to hug me anymore, but the heat from his shoulder touching mine was still nice. I was beginning to get a hold of myself, but every time I looked up at him and made eye contact, a few more tears leaked out. Maybe all the stress he put Chouji and I through was finally bubbling over.

"Can I lay down while we do this? I mean, If we're gonna be here awhile?" Shikamaru finally asked, squishing his face into a tired expression.

That made me laugh and he just gave me this women-make-no-sense look and fell backwards on to my bed.

"Are you still sleepy?" I asked. He rolled on his side slowly and gave me a bored look.

"Worry about yourself," he said, then glanced down at my hand on the bed. Grimacing, he gave it a few consoling pats.

"You're like my grandma," I said, wiping my tears with a small laugh, "I know you don't really care about women, but you do want a girlfriend eventually, right? Don't you think you should learn how to act with them?"

He retracted his hand and gave me a sour look, "Are you saying you want me to treat you like a girlfriend?"

"No, not exactly. But your girlfriend won't be happy if you don't learn what to do when she's upset."

"If my girlfriend gets upset, I'll probably just take a long mission," he snarked, but just to prove me wrong, he sat up, wrapped his arms around me, then plopped back down, pulling me to him. He asked in his long-suffering tone, "Is this better?"

"Uh-huh," I said. His face was close and his eyes were closed, so I felt free to study him. He had shaved in the shower and his skin was effortlessly smooth, a feature that I had greatly resented in my teen years when long missions left me red and broken out while he glowed like a wood nymph under days of sweat and dirt.  His sharp brows, his long eyes, his lashes - as I stared I felt calmer.

"Isn't that what your dad did?" I suddenly asked, remembering his comment from before. He creaked an eye open and made a sound like, Meh?

"Took long missions to escape your mom’s wrath?"

"It was impossible to escape my mom’s wrath," he said thoughtfully. I felt his breath on my face.

"Maybe your future girlfriend won't have so much wrath. But if she does, then what'll you do?" I asked.

He sighed, "Why don't you just tell me what to do? I tried to imitate you, but I just made you cry. Besides, I know you like to hear yourself talk."

He closed his eyes again, his lips curled in a small, self-satisfied smile at his reply.

"Well..." I said, then grinned. I couldn't resist teasing him when the rare opportunity presented itself, especially after his little insult. I pushed myself closer. Our chests touched. He opened one eye to glance at me, but both of his eyes were wide by the time I closed mine and planted a kiss on him.

His whole body flinched; his spine bowed away from me, his arms went ridged where they hovered over my sides, which freed me to wrap my arms around his neck and pull even closer.

He wretched his face away from mine, straining his neck against my grasp.

"Ino!" He grunted.

"Eeeheehee," I said, rubbing our noses together before changing my expression to one more innocent, "What?" I asked, batting my eyes, "You asked me what would work."

"Cheh!" He exclaimed as he tried to wriggle away while I held on, laughing.

"Well you're obviously feeling better. So let. Go." He grunted, pulling my arms off of him. I squirmed out of his grasp and latched myself on to his torso.

"Don't be such a baby. Let's sit together a little longer."

He grumbled in annoyance, finally giving up the fight, reluctantly plopping his arm over my side again. If there was anything good about Shikamaru, it was that he didn't dig his heels in over little stuff.

But even after lying together with my head on his chest for a few minutes, he didn't relax, which was making me tense too.

"We should probably get ready soon," I said, pulling away from him. He glanced down at me looking crankier than before.

"I didn't get to finish my nap," he complained quietly, then he grabbed me, wrapping his arms tight around my sides.

"Hey!" I complained.

"So when I'm sad, you'll fight with me to take my mind off of things and when you're sad, you want me to kiss you."

"Hmph! I was just teasing you a bit," I said, turning my head to face the ceiling.

"It seemed to cheer you up though," he said plainly.

"I was already feeling better," I replied.

Then his warm fingers touched my cheek, turning my face back towards him on the bed. Before I knew it, his lips were gently pressed into mine.

Naturally, I screeched against his mouth. He was actually smiling when he pulled away.

"What are you doing?" I shouted, pushing against his chest with my arms, bringing my knees up to help pry myself out of his vice grip, “Pervert! Molester! You…!”

"What? I was just practicing the advice you gave me about women," He said, but he couldn't sound innocent while he was grinning like that, “And if I’m a pervert and a molester, doesn’t that mean you’re the same, since you just did that to me?”

I couldn't really say anything to that, so I just struggled. After a few seconds, he actually laughed.

"If I knew kissing you would shut you up, I would have done it a long time ago."

"Ha! Yeah right! Like you would," I said disdainfully, finally managing to put my foot flat against his hip and shove myself away from him.

"I just did," he said, as he watched me scramble to the edge of the bed and stand up.

"Hmph! You weren't so tough when I kissed you a few minutes ago! You nearly broke your neck trying to get away."

He shrugged lying down, a move that could not be more Shikamaru if it tried, "Well, never let it be said that I won't do unpleasant things for my team mate."

I was stuck without words again, so I flounced out of my room with all the dignity I could muster. He was so cheeky. And apparently cheering him up was bringing back his sarcastic side as well.

"I don't know why you're pretending to be mad. You kissed me, although it was a pretty poor performance," his voice trailed after me down the hall, "With your current level of skill, you should be glad to get in some practice."

"Oh, like you've kissed so many people?" I said loudly, turning on my heel, "Your kiss didn't exactly inspire flowers blooming and cherubs singing and... all that stuff!"

"It was better than yours. Or are you supposed to tense up your lips like a fish as you're kissing someone?" he asked.

"Oh please," I said, and somehow, without realizing it, I had stomped back into my bedroom, staring coldly at his sly face as he sat up and scratched his head leisurely "You're just trying to pick a fight to make me lose track of time and get out of volunteering at the academy. You know who has the most kissing experience in this room,” I said.

"Experience doesn't equal skill. Although I will say-"

I swooped over and kissed him, mostly just to freak him out again and regain my upper hand. I made a point to make my movements slow and sexy, holding his face between my hands so he couldn't get away before I was done with him.

It actually took me a few seconds to realize that he wasn't struggling; on the contrary, he seemed to have been expecting this. He had one hand on the side of my neck and the other on the back of my head and he was pressing his lips to mine as fervently as I was to him. When his hand slid down my back and pulled me to him, it was either sit down on his lap or wrench my head away- I chose to sit, pushing my hips into his and wrapping my legs around his back. He opened his mouth against me, kissing me thoroughly.

I barely knew what was happening. Were we still arguing? Because it felt too good for it to be a game. I was having feelings. Girl-boy-want-to-touch feelings.

I opened my eyes and saw his face, eyes closed, both tense and relaxed, and it washed away my confusion somewhat and that feeling of familiar comfort returned. I trusted Shikamaru more than anyone in the world. He would never take a game this far. A rush of desire sped through my body and I shivered. I'd wanted boys before and imagined these kinds of scenarios, but the reality of kissing a boy on my bed with my legs wrapped around him was mind melting.

I felt him against me again through the soft material of his pants, but I had no desire to flee like I did earlier that morning, although at the same time, a nervous feeling fluttered in my belly along with intense want. They counter acted each other somewhat, but desire was the winning factor overall.

He released my lips and kissed my neck and I gasped. His name was on the tip of my tongue, but it felt like we were in some kind of enchantment and any word would break the spell.

His hands were creeping higher, but never went above my rib cage. I ran my hands along his bare back, my fingertips dipping below the band of his pants as I traced his spine. I felt his muscles tense with every pass, until he moved his mouth to my ear and all I could do was hold on to him and whimper. My hips moved of their own volition, to try to ease the ache I felt by pressing against him. I heard his first gasp and the sound went straight to my core. In one frenzied moment, I could no longer stand the teasing and I pulled his hands under my shirt to my breasts. He continued the motion and swept my shirt over my head before returning his attention to what really mattered.

His face was buried in my neck, our chests touched. Every nerve I had was a pin prick. I kept having these little mini revelations between each sensation. Shikamaru is a good kisser; Shikamaru sounds sexy when he moans; I was almost naked in front of Shikamaru and I liked it. His hands were on my breasts and I didn't want to punch him. I was letting him do whatever he wanted to me.

That last thought turned me on so much that the pleasant pulses between my thighs almost became painful. I writhed against the hardness pressed against my heat and whimpered.

I knew what I wanted, but how could I say it to Shikamaru of all people? What if he teased me, or held it against me later? A thousand hypothetical scenarios were forming, trying to go to war with the feelings that were clouding my mind.

I suddenly noticed that he stopped. I didn't know when I had closed my eyes, but when I opened them, Shikamaru was staring at my face. I thought he was about to say we should stop; heck, in the sudden silence that had descended around us, I almost said it, but he opened his mouth before me.

"I promise to keep you safe," he said breathlessly, holding my face to his as I stared into the deep hazel of his eyes, "I've been awful since... then, and I might still be that way sometimes, but I'll always protect you in whatever way I can. You can trust me, forever."

"I trust you," I said, "I trust you." I caught his mouth against mine again and he kissed me harder than before. He wrapped one arm around my back and the other cradled my head as he laid me back against the nest of blankets in the upper corner of my bed.

He leaned over me and kissed my belly as his hands swept over my waist, catching hold of my shorts and panties and dragging them to my knees. And my butterflies did come back with a vengeance at that because when I looked up at his face, well… he wasn't looking into my eyes. I actually had to look away when he spread my legs apart to crawl between them. I tried to wrap my legs around him, but he pushed my knees up toward my chest and apart until my legs were spread as far as they could, flush against the bed and I was shaking with anticipation and overflowing with desire under his scrutiny.

His hand left my right knee and cupped my mound and I nearly came right then, but then I felt his fingers gently parting my nether lips until I was completely exposed to him. My eyes were only opened for a moment, long enough to see him staring intensely between my thighs before the feel of a single, cool finger touching my

**** **** **** ****

"Euuuueewww!" Chouji shouted, the volume increasing as he rounded the corner, "Enough of that nasty story. Forever enough. I can't... How can you even..." Chouji shook his head a few times before he finally just announced that breakfast was ready and left the room.

“Maybe I was getting a bit graphic,” Ino said with a guilty grin as she stood up, giving Sakura, who was looking a lot less pale, a hand.

“I was too absorbed to notice,” Sakura said and, in the back of her mind, wondered if maybe she would have had some similar erotic experience with Sasuke if she hadn’t stopped kissing him and felt a small pang of regret, which she shook off. That’s not my heart talking, she thought lamentingly as she followed Ino through the kitchen.

“Can you go get Shikamaru?” Chouji asked as they rounded into the Yamanaka family dining room. Like all of the rooms, it felt a little empty without its original furniture and paintings on the walls, “You promised you’d help me get him to eat his three meals a day.”

“Ugh, but he always bites my head off when I try to wake him up…” Ino said, fiddling with a fork on the table, “You do it, Sakura. He’ll probably be nice if it’s you.”

“What? Me? No, that’d be weird.”

“Come on. At least let me use you as a shield. As payment for waking me up so early. Come on, come on,” Ino said, pushing Sakura back into the hall and into Ino’s ex-bedroom room, revealing a Shikamaru that hadn’t shifted positions since Sakura had last seen him.

Ino pushed her to the side of the bed and said, “Just stand there,” then she walked around to the other side of the bed and jumped down as hard as she could. Shikamaru woke with a start, his eyes flying open to catch Sakura in his startled glance.

“Sakura? What the hell?” he gasped.

“Wake up, sleepy head!” Ino announced, glomping on to his shoulders.

“What the hell is going on?” he groaned as Ino’s weight pulled him back into a prone position.

“Chouji says it’s breakfast time and there’s no more skipping meals,” Ino said sweetly, nibbling his ear. Sakura cringed and looked away, because despite having heard some pretty intimate details about their sex life, the visual was a little too much.

“Get off me, woman,” he complained, trying to free himself from her embrace and failing.

“I’ve got my body-swap ready if you want me to force feed you…” Ino threatened in a sing song voice.

“Then I’ll just keep you in my shadow jutsu and make you lay here all day,” Shikamaru said, finally rolling into her embrace.

Sakura decided to exit the room at that point. When Chouji met her eyes as she reentered the dining room, he seemed to understand immediately.

“Oh God… You two!” he shouted, stomping out of the room, “Both of you get out here this minute and eat this breakfast or I’m going to come in there and jump on top of both of you!”

Sakura sat down and didn’t know whether to laugh or bury her head in her hands. Life just kept changing. And not according to plan. She loved Ino and was happy she seemed happy, but this was just another shift in dynamics that she would have to get used to.

Chouji came back into the room followed by a sheepish looking Ino and Shikamaru.

“Sakura. Sorry. When did you get here?” Shikamaru asked.

Sakura was about to answer, but Ino cut her off.

“Baaaka, you’re the one who let her in.”

Shikamaru looked a little confused, “Did I…?”

“Some ninja you are,” Ino said.

“It’s actually kind of amazing,” Sakura smiled, “Your brain had the power to move your sleeping body on instinct when you heard me knocking.”

“Psh,” Ino said, but she was smiling and her arm was wrapped around Shikamaru’s as they sat side by side at the table.

Chouji looked a little annoyed, but said nothing as he began to dish large helpings of some sort of egg casarole on to Shikamaru’s and Ino’s plates. Rations were much more generous now, but it was still impressive how Chouji used them. When everyone had a huge plate of food settled before them and they were well on their way to devouring it, Chouji said between bites.

“So Sakura, what are you gonna say to Sasuke’s proposal?”

Sakura nearly choked. Ino pointed her fork at Chouji, “What do you mean proposal?”

“You know,” Chouji said, “The friends with benefits thing.”

“I thought you were with Naruto now,” Shikamaru yawned around his fork.

“Ino!” Sakura cried, “You told him?”

“Dummy! That was supposed to be a secret!” Ino said, shaking a confused looking Shikamaru by his arm.

“Woah ho ho. Sasuke made a move on you when you’re already with Naruto. That seems about right, actually…” Chouji said to himself.

Sakura groaned helplessly in to her plate.

“No, no, no!” Ino said, “That’s not it at all. Let me just explain it. Is that ok, Sakura?”

“I guess so! Since they have all these crazy ideas now!”

Ino explained while Sakura aggressively ate her food and the others listened.

“Hnn…” Shikamaru said, staring into space while not eating, “So, your feelings for Sasuke are unresolved, but you’re determined to be with Naruto. Is that it?”

Sakura nodded.

“Then it seems like the only thing you can do it make it official with Naruto. That will give Sasuke enough reason to back off. You can still let time do it’s healing in regards to your feelings for him, but there’s no reason to put off what you already know is inevitable… which is dating Naruto,” Shikamaru said.

Ino smiled at him with admiration.

Chouji, however, looked concerned, “That seems like a sound strategy, Sakura. Unless… in your heart of hearts, what you’re really struggling with is disappointing Naruto.”

Sakura shook her head and, to her surprise, her eyes welled with tears. Ino half stood from her chair, but Sakura waved her off, “I’m fine, I’m fine. I think… in my heart of hearts, I know I will never ever forgive myself if I choose Sasuke. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy with him either. And with Naruto, I’m already happy. I’ve been happy with him all this time, even if I didn’t know it. It’s just, if I’m really with Naruto… I’ll be letting this dream that I had die. That’s all. It’s not the real Sasuke I’ve loved all this time. It was just a fantasy I clung on to through a lot of painful times. I’ve never had him. And I don’t think I ever would, even if we were together. He’s just too unpredictable; he’d have me in shreds. But I can honestly say that I love Naruto. I think you have the right idea, Shikamaru-kun. That’s what I should have done from the start.”

Despite her best efforts, throughout her babbling speech, Sakura couldn’t keep the tears from falling down her face.

Ino finally came around the table and embraced her and Sakura hugged her back as hard as she could without hurting her.

** ** **

The boys cleared out of the room pretty quickly after that, giving each other knowing, alarmed glances, leaving the two girls in peace.

After a while, Sakura sniffled, “Ino… You and Shikamaru don’t get along at all. Do you think you’re right for each other? Tell me honestly.”

Ino frowned, “Sakura… You shouldn’t be with someone you don’t get along with…But since you’re asking, are you sure you’re sure about not pursuing things with Sasuke?”

“Yes, I really am. I was just thinking about… well, everything. You’re with Shikamaru and you don’t get along,” she said, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

“Yeah, but… I don’t think it’s the same.”

"Well how did you know Shikamaru was the right one?" Sakura asked. Ino frowned and fixed her eyes on the ceiling.

"The right one? I guess I didn't know, for sure..."

Sakura sniffed, "So if you were in my situation, like if Chouji had fallen in love with you at the same time that Shikamaru made a move, do you know who you’d have picked?"

Ino suddenly grinned, "I’d like to say I'd pick Shikamaru for sure, but I honestly don't know. I can't even imagine that situation. I wasn't in love with either of them; I hadn't even thought about Shikamaru in that way since we were kids. So if that happened... Heh, I'd have probably run away from both of them and just made out with Sai instead."

"Sai?!" Sakura exclaimed, her heart suddenly leaping with surprise, "I didn't know you liked Sai that way," she said.

"Eh, I've always liked him a bit," Ino admitted casually, "And I'm pretty sure he likes me."

"What? How can you tell? The guy barely shows any emotion."

Smiling, Ino said, "I can just tell."

That girl has the mating instincts of a wild animal, Sakura thought as she tried to control the expression on her face.

But then another question occurred to her.

"Um, Ino... not to make you get into the more graphic parts of the story again, but... what did Shikamaru say after... everything?"

"Worried about what Sasuke is going to say after your dramatic clinch?” Ino quipped, then apologized after seeing Sakura’s worried face, “Sorry, sorry. But, well, Shika won't be of any help. It was fine. He acted a little different, of course, but still... Shikamaru-y."

***

I propped up on my elbows, staring down at Shikamaru's face. He looked so peaceful. He could have been twelve again, sleeping under the blue sky. I touched his face. He didn't stir.

We had missed our appointment at the academy. 30 kids were probably fighting to the death in an unsupervised classroom at the moment because of us, but I was too absorbed in what had happened to care. I'd just tell Iruka-sensei we had to help an old lady out of a tree or something.

"Shikamaru?" I asked, "Are you asleep?"

"No," he said, keeping his eyes closed.

I laid back down on his chest.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I felt his voice rumble in his chest.

"Nothing. I mean, I'm fine. Good, like... You know," I said, suddenly feeling like blushing, "Just kinda wondering how this happened, I guess."

"Really? I thought this was all pretty according to plan."

I tsked, "I didn't have a plan! Wait... did you have a plan?"

"Yes," he said baldly, but I could feel him grinning, "But I thought you must have had a plan since you kissed me first... Well, even if you didn't have a plan, you definitely had an ulterior motive."

"If there was any motivation there, I guarantee you it was subconscious. But anyway, don't change the subject! What was your plan? I wanna know," I said, crawling up his chest and resting my chin on my hands.

"It was barely a plan. More of an idea," he said. I stared at him until he caved and elaborated, "I thought I could steer us into an argument where you would feel the need to prove what a good kisser you are," he admitted.

"But how did you know we would end up like this though? Was what you said right before we were about to... um... Was that just to convince me-"

"No," He sighed and hugged his arms around me, "I meant that. And I had no idea how far we were gonna go. I just knew I could get you to kiss me again."

"Well I guess you were right... But... I'm just curious... how far did you think we'd go, because I know you had an estimate of some kind."

"I swear I didn't. I just knew if you kissed me again, I could get you to keep kissing me."

"How?"

He rolled us over, holding himself up by his arms, his hair falling around his face as he stared down at me.

"Like this," he said and proceeded to kiss me in the same way that made me lose my head the first time.

***

"Ah..." Sakura said, "Yeah. That won't be the case with me. Who knew Shikamaru was so cool when it came to this stuff?"

But Ino seemed lost in her own reverie, staring off into space with a huge grin on her face. Sakura took that uncomfortable moment as a chance to make her exit. There was just too much informoation being thrown her way; from Sasuke and from her own realizations. She was also still trying to absorb the change in Ino, which was completely out of left field, but not really in a bad way.

Sakura wiped the remains of her tears from her face, stood, and said, "Well, I'm going to get out of here and get some sleep." And though Ino invited her to borrow her room (apparently Ino and Shikamaru had been sharing her old bedroom most of the time) Sakura waved away the invitation and made her exit, hugging her friend close and promising to come by again in the next day or so.

** ** **

Sakura knew she couldn’t go home, not yet. She was more than a little afraid to see Sasuke, even when she was armed with the knowledge that she was going to choose Naruto no matter what Sasuke did or said.

Instead, her feet took her to the hospital where she supposed she would start her shifts again a day early. Or maybe just grab a nap in an empty room, she thought as yet another yawn bubbled out of her. The early morning light was harsher to her eyes as she trudged down the street and now that she was alone, she felt the full anxiety of her situation.

I wonder if every team goes through this when they get older, she thought. It was so weird and kind of incestuous, but at the same time it made perfect sense for people so close to fall in love with each other should the right circumstances come along. In Ino and Shikamaru's case, she guessed the right circumstances were constant fighting and close quarters. While Sakura's had begun... when? The beginning of time, she thought bleakly.

I wish Kakashi-sensei was around to talk to, she thought, then admonished herself. She had had that exact same thought so many times as a genin, and then again when Naruto and Sasuke were away, that she thought she’d beaten it out of herself by now. No matter what was going on, she would never have the connection she with Kakashi-sensei that she had longed for as a child. She’d been forced to accept that he was only going to be around on his terms, no matter how many big scrapes he saved her from. As much as she admired him, he just wasn’t that interested in her.

Besides, aside from Ino, she wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about her chaotic feelings and her messy love life.

Her dizzying, downward spiral of depressing thoughts didn’t stop until she snuck in the back entrance of the hospital and laid down on a the couch in the empty medic’s lounge where we stared at the ceiling for about five second before falling into a deep sleep.

** ** **

A/N: Hi guys. Thanks for being so patient and so sweet with kudos and likes and such. Every now and then I would get one and it would remind me that I had this chapter sitting in my computer, cracking its knuckles and giving me menacing looks, daring me to toughen up and finish it. The Ino-Shika was NOT coming to me. I toyed with taking it out and just moving on with the main story, but after I’d done all that writing I decided against it, so hopefully you guys liked the little first-person interlude. Rest assured, it’s not going to take over the story by any means and the next chapter will get back to our regularly scheduled programming (although there will be more to this side story. I goss plans for it! But it probably won’t be back for awhile.)
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Stranger than the Wild