Is This What You Wanted? | By : stephfarrow94 Category: Naruto AU/AR > General Views: 2286 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N I know that Itachi will seem OOC even more than he does in previous ones, but you need to know that it is him re-living past trauma that is doing it to him in this chapter.
“’tachi-nii…” Five-year-old Sasuke grabbed his brother’s hand as the shouting from downstairs begun travelling up the stairs and into the bedroom. “’tachi-nii, daddy is shouting again…”
Itachi was curled up on his bed with his arms around his little brother. He rocked back and forth, whimpering in between reassuring his brother that it would be okay.
“’tachi-nii, why does daddy hate us…?” Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes and he buried his face in Itachi’s clothed chest. “Did we… do something wrong, again…?”
Itachi shuddered at Sasuke’s choice of words and shook his head. “No… F-father… is just… a-angry…”
“Don't understand, ‘tachi-nii…” Tears overflowed from Sasuke’s large, onyx eyes. “Daddy… always angry…”
Itachi choked on a sob before replying. “…He… wasn’t always angry…”
“Daddy always been angry…” Sasuke disagreed, snuggling in closer to his brother. “I… I not remember him… not angry…”
Itachi sighed and wiped at the tears that trailed down his cheeks. His rocking became quicker and he pulled Sasuke onto his lap, hugging the younger boy.
“Am I a good brother, Sasuke…?” Itachi whispered, glancing at the younger with wide, fearful eyes. “I’m a good brother, aren’t I…?”
Sasuke nodded without hesitation. “’tachi-nii… best big brother in world…”
Itachi seemed to let out a sigh of relief at these words. He tightened his hold on Sasuke.
“Love you, Sasuke…” Itachi whispered. He rested his face in the shiny black hair of his brother, closing his eyes as he cried quietly.
“Love you, too…”
Minutes had passed. Both boys were almost asleep, but they were soon awoken by Itachi’s bedroom door slamming against the wall.
Sasuke squealed as his father’s hand grabbed him by the hair and threw him away. Itachi started to cry harder, shielding himself from his father as he screamed, pleading to be left alone.
Fugaku turned to look at Sasuke with rage burning in his eyes.
“Sasuke, get your ass out of here and go to your room!” Fugaku bellowed.
Sasuke didn’t need to be told twice – he left the room almost immediately, running to his own bedroom. He could hear his brother’s horrible screams and his father’s groans, but he didn’t understand what was happening. He was more concerned about the loud banging against the wall. What were they doing in there?
“Nii-san…” Sasuke whispered. He was terrified of his father. He truly was. He wanted to go and find Nakama, but he was too scared to leave his room. The last time he had left his room without Father telling him that it was alright, he had been beaten and locked in his room for three days without any food.
“Nakama…” Sasuke whimpered, grabbing his pillow. He buried his face into the pillow and sobbed, trying to block out his brother’s screams and his father’s noises. “Nakama…!”
-XX-
Sasuke’s eyes opened hours later. He glanced around the room, barely remembering what had just happened. He saw that Sasori was still playing around with his puppets, not paying any attention to him.
Sasuke sat up and glanced towards the window. Sun was still shining into the room and the door had been left open. Did Sasori have free range in this place?
“You’re breathing too loud.”
Sasuke jumped at Sasori’s voice. He narrowed his eyes and glared at Sasori. He could see that the red-head wasn’t even paying attention to him at all.
“I’ll breathe however loud I want.” Sasuke hissed.
Sasori remained emotionless. “You need to respect your elders, Sasuke. You’re as bad as the brat that was here before you.”
“Why would I respect someone who doesn’t respect me?” Sasuke growled. “No one respects me, so why would I give it to others?”
“Maybe no one respects you because you give them reason not to respect you. Have you ever thought of that?”
Sasuke had no comeback. Truth be told, he hadn’t thought of that.
“Speak up, brat.” Sasori growled. “I don’t like to be kept waiting.”
“…N-no…” Sasuke stuttered for the first time in a long time. “…I hadn’t…”
“Give me a reason to respect you and I just might.” Sasori said gruffly. “What’s your view on art?”
Sasuke shrugged. “I don’t know… Never thought about it…”
Sasori put the puppet down on the bed beside him and turned to stare at Sasuke incredulously. “You never thought about art…?”
“…I draw…” Sasuke said, tensing up. He didn’t like the way Sasori was looking at him.
“Drawing?” Sasori scoffed. “True art is eternal.”
Sasuke looked down at his lap. He nodded. “…Maybe it is… I just never thought about it before…”
Sasori stared for a few seconds more before turning back to his puppet. “Whatever. I’ll show you around later.”
Sasuke just shrugged and lay back down on the bed. He watched the older man for a while before drifting back into a deep sleep.
-XX-
Itachi sat in his father’s car, rigid as a door. They were parked outside of the mental asylum where Itachi’s therapy courses were being held. Mikoto was begging Itachi to get out of the car, but the young man was absolutely terrified of the idea.
“Itachi, baby, please…” Mikoto whispered, tugging at her son’s hand. “Come on, honey… It’ll be okay…”
Tears dripped down Itachi’s cheeks in rivers as his eyes stared blankly straight ahead, unmoving and unseeing. His body quivered as if he were having a seizure.
“Itachi, darling… I love you so much… I only want you to get better…”
Itachi’s mind was on overdrive. He had always been horrified of his father’s car, and being in it once more brought the memories he had blocked out back to the surface.
“Sweetie, you need to get out of the car…” Mikoto whispered as she cupped the boy’s cheek. “Sweetie, it’s mommy…”
“Daddy, please…” Itachi whispered in a manner that made Mikoto realise that her son wasn’t in reality any longer. “Daddy, it hurts…”
Mikoto choked on a sob as she listened to Itachi plead to what he believed to be his father. She knew that Itachi had very deep mental scars from what Fugaku had done to him as a child, but to watch her precious baby have to relive one of his most traumatic experiences again as if it were happening broke her heart.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried to protect her children – she had done all that she could! – it was that Fugaku had too much power over all of them and there was never anything that she could do.
“Itachi, I need you to get out of the car and go inside now – Fugaku will be home soon, and if he sees the car is gone, he’ll know!”
Itachi still didn’t move. He whimpered and let out a few more incoherent pleads before cowering at some unseen threat. Mikoto knew she had to be patient with Itachi – it wasn’t his fault that he was like this and the boy was just frightened.
“Itachi…” Mikoto was careful about where she touched the boy now – if she touched him in even the most innocent of places, it could have disastrous effects. She grabbed Itachi’s elbow, hoping that it wouldn’t frighten her son more than he already was. “Itachi, it’s mommy… Itachi, I need you to look at me, baby. Itachi, it’s mommy…”
Itachi whimpered again before wincing as he turned to face who was speaking to him. He stared with terrified eyes for a few seconds before reaching out and falling into his mother’s arms.
“M-mommy…” Itachi whimpered, burying his face into Mikoto’s white shirt. “M-m-mommy, I-I’m s-scared!”
“Oh, baby, I know you are…” Mikoto whispered as she stroked the long hair that was under her palm. “That’s why we’re here – to try and help you.”
“M-mommy, I want to die…!” Itachi whimpered, choking on a few of his sobs. He tightened his grip on the clothing in his hand. “I-I do…!”
“Shh, shh…” Mikoto wrapped her arms around the distressed man and rocked him side-to-side slowly. “Shh… I need you to get out of the car and come with me…”
“M-mommy…!” Itachi’s voice rose in distress and the tears came harder. To him, his father had just spoken, ready to take him into the “client’s” house. “M-mommy, no…! I don’t wanna go…!”
“Shh… Itachi, baby, it’s not like that… We’re going to see Pein, remember? He’s going to help you… It’s nothing like that – I promise.”
“Mommy…” Itachi moaned. “Mommy, it hurts so much…!”
“I know it does…” Mikoto whispered. “I know it does… But it’s not like that. Please, sweetness – come out of the car. Please…”
Itachi was silent for a few moments before speaking. “…Okay, mommy…”
Mikoto placed a soft kiss on Itachi’s forehead before releasing her grip of the male.
Itachi was quick to get out of the car. He waited for his mother to come to his side before reaching out and grabbing the woman’s hand. He squeezed tightly before walking slowly into the building. No words were spoken between them until they stood outside of the blue door labelled with “Akatsuki Therapy Meeting Room”.
“Mommy…” Itachi whispered, turning to his mother. “M-mommy… P-please… I-I’m scared…”
“Shh…” Mikoto reached out and wiped away tears from the boy’s face. “I’ll go in with you.”
Itachi nodded slowly before squeezing his mother’s hand and looking at the ground. “…”
“C’mon…” Mikoto rubbed the boy’s back before pushing the door open and stepping in. Itachi remained where he was, so she had to tug a little to get him to follow her.
Itachi gulped and lifted one foot with hesitation. He trembled as he placed it through the door. It took a few minutes – because Itachi kept yanking his foot back out of the room – but Mikoto had eventually been able to coax him in.
Mikoto lead the young man further into the room. She smiled at the other occupants who had been patient enough to stay silent and just watch her with her baby boy.
“I’m sorry we’re late,” Mikoto apologised. “Itachi doesn’t like his father’s car…”
Pein was standing at the back of the room. He chuckled and shook his head. “Not a problem. It’s understandable. Hello, again, Itachi-kun.”
Itachi bit his lip and moved closer to his mother. He didn’t lift his gaze from the ground.
“Itachi, say hello.” Mikoto smiled as she reached out and stroked her son’s oily hair.
“…H-hi…” Itachi whispered. He choked on a sob.
Pein smiled. He unfolded his arms that were crossed over his chest and walked over to the Uchiha. He reached out and placed a hand on Itachi’s shoulder.
“Your mother has told me why you’re so fearful of the car and coming here.” Pein whispered. “If, at any stage, you wish to leave the room, you may. I won’t keep you here.”
Itachi nodded. “…”
“Baby, I need to go…” Mikoto kissed Itachi’s forehead. “I’ll be back soon to pick you up, okay? I know you’ll be fine here. I love you.”
“Love you, too…” Itachi mumbled. He was surprised at himself for not having begged and pleaded for the woman to stay with him, but even so, he did feel numb at the moment.
Mikoto left the room quickly. Pein smiled at Itachi.
“Itachi, I want you to go and sit with Deidara-kun, okay?” Pein turned back to the group. “Deidara-kun, raise your hand.”
Itachi glanced warily up at the group. He was careful to not make eye contact with anyone. He noticed that a long-haired blonde was waving at him, but he wasn’t sure if it were a girl or a boy. They wore a long-sleeved grey shirt with black pants and had thick eyeliner on.
Itachi frowned before looking back down at the ground again. He shuffled slowly over to the spare seat by the blonde.
“Hey!” The blonde greeted happily. From their voice, Itachi could work out that it was a boy. “I’m Deidara, yeah. You’re Itachi?”
Itachi nodded as he looked at the wall behind Deidara. “…”
“What are you here for?”
Itachi shrugged.
“Not very talkative, are you? …Un.”
“Deidara-kun, leave him alone.” Pein called. Itachi looked up to see that the ginger was talking to one of the other members – a red-haired male that looked very young.
Deidara followed Itachi’s gaze and noticed who the Uchiha was looking at. “That’s Sasori, yeah. He’s a bastard.”
Itachi nodded and shrunk back down in his seat. He noticed that there were quite a few people sitting around in a circle, but he didn’t recognise anyone but Pein. The talk was quite between everyone until Pein spoke again.
“We’ll begin tonight’s session very soon – I just need to go and get the assistant. Calm yourselves before our return.”
“I heard Pein’s new assistant is his new girlfriend, hmm.” Deidara spoke. “Heard they got together about a week or so ago.”
Itachi turned his head slightly to Deidara to indicate that he was listening. He wanted to speak to Pein in private before they begun the session. He knew that Pein had disappeared out the back of the room, so he quickly left his seat and hurried to the back door. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed out there or not, but it was important that he tell Pein about how scared he was and that he didn’t want to be directly included in the session until he got used to everything.
“Pein-san, I –“ Itachi had found Pein standing by a counter with a blue-haired woman beside him, lip-locked. “…Konan-chan…?”
The two broke apart and turned to look at Itachi. Sure enough, it was Konan standing there, being intimate with Pein. Konan’s eyes were wide and Pein looked confused.
“Do you know her, Itachi-kun?” Pein asked.
Itachi couldn’t speak – tears of betrayal rushed down his cheeks in rivers.
“We had broken up on the day of his incident…” Konan whispered. She approached Itachi and hugged him. “Itachi-kun, I’m so sorry – I had no idea you were here…”
Itachi reached up and grabbed Konan’s red sleeve. He buried his face in Konan’s chest and cried.
“We’ll take him back to the others and hope that Deidara can calm him down,” Pein whispered.
Konan nodded and led Itachi back to the group. Everyone’s eyes were on the three, but out of everyone there, only Deidara looked concerned – everyone else was more focused on Konan.
“Hey, are you okay, Itachi-san?” Deidara asked as the Uchiha was placed back into the seat he had previously occupied. “Pein-sama, what’s wrong with him, yeah?”
“He’s just having a hard time.” Pein smiled at Deidara. “I’m sure you could make him feel better. Can you talk to him? You’re good with people.”
Deidara nodded. He slipped off the black jacket he had been wearing and draped it over Itachi’s quivering frame. “Itachi-san, why are you so upset? You can talk to me about it.”
Itachi shook his head, scrunching his eyes shut.
“Why won’t you, hmm?” Deidara whispered. He reached out and placed a tiny hand on Itachi’s. “I’m a good listener, ya know? …Un.”
“…”
Deidara frowned. “I honestly am… Do you want to know why I’m here? I’m thinking that maybe if I tell you a bit about me, you’ll learn that I’m not such a bad guy.”
Itachi slowly lifted his eyes. He stopped his gaze just under Deidara’s eyes. “…”
“My mom died during childbirth and my dad hated me. …Un. He used to beat me all the time and treat me as the slave of the household. I wasn’t even allowed to call him ‘dad’… When I discovered art, it was by accident. I don’t remember what I had done, but I accidently caused an explosion. I realised then that art was an explosion. …My dad caught me out in the backyard… I had found a bird with a broken wing, and he watched as I blew it up… He tried to attack me, so I blew him up next. Judge must’ve taken pity on me or something, because of sending me to jail, she sent me here…”
Itachi frowned before closing his eyes. “…M-my dad… hates me, too…”
Deidara smiled. “See? That’s a start. And we’ve got something in common, too! Now, tell me what was bothering you just before. I don’t like seeing you sad.”
Itachi dropped his gaze once more. “…K-konan… is my ex…”
Deidara’s jaw dropped. “You mean you went out with her? Shit, you lucky guy! Everyone is eye-humping her! ...’Cept for Sasori-danna, that is.”
Tears streamed harder down Itachi’s face. He couldn’t stand the fact that he was different from everyone else was being rubbed in his face without Deidara even realising it.
“Hey, did I upset you? I’m sorry. …Un.”
Itachi just shrugged. He was aware of Pein and Konan talking in the background, but he was more focused on Deidara. Why was he being so nice to him? And open? And caring? He didn’t deserve any of that. But why did it feel so… nice to have someone other than his mother treating him like this?
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