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Deidara Grounded	By : seraserastuff Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1957 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, this is a fan-made story, no profit made

Chapter List
- 1-Grounded
- 2-Confusion
- 3-hurt
- 4-Turn
- 5-Death
- 6-Restored
- 7-Memory
- 8-Truth
- 9-Time
- 10-Desire
- 7
- 8
- 9
Update: revised the Hidan bit a little.
Sorry, sorry for the unusually long wait!!!
I had so much busy life crap. And this was an awkward transitional chapter to write, argh. Very VERY difficult to write, hope it's ok T_T I got upset over it T_T And I changed my mind about 4 times while writing it. Then I got so confused that I wrote the outlines for every single chapter until the end before coming back and finishing it. But some of those will need to change too. ARRGHHHH.
Instead of a really really long chapter like last time, this chapter is shorter, but another short one will follow in....this week...sound fair? :D It's not for the sake of having shorter chapters, it's just that the events of this and the next didn't work well together as one chapter for some reason :/ So it felt better to separate it.
Anyway, without further ado...
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He still held back Deidara's hair. Deidara convulsed violently with each retch; something was wrong with him.
"What's wrong? Does it hurt?" He wouldn't answer, just grimaced. Kakashi offered his waterpack and Deidara excepted it, washing his mouth out.
Then he collapsed, curled up on his side; eyes clenched shut.
"Sakura!" Kakashi called out for her, rubbing Deidara's back."Are you in pain?" he asked, again. But Deidara just turned his face away. In pain... he was actually asking a guy suffering severed arms if he was in pain. Gai and Neji who had been hovering nearby approached now, seeing the commotion.
"Does your stomach hurt? ventured Kakashi as Sakura returned to the campsite, "Can Sakura look?" Deidara had brought his knees up nearly against his chest. If he had arms, Kakashi guessed that they would probably be wrapped tightly around his stomach right now...
"I'm fine, un," Deidara grit out quietly, angrily.
"Let me see, Deidara?"
"Let her help you." said Gai.
"Stop it, just stop it un..." Deidara hissed.
They uncurled him anyway, and he didn't resist at all. He seemed too wearied to even try and make it hard for them. Or maybe he just accepted that they'd do it anyway, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Sakura squinting in the darkness with some difficulty. Removing her glove, she felt his stomach, pressing down gently;
"Internal injuries...?" She looked at Neji, wanted him to use his byakugan.
Neji bent closer. "There's internal bleeding and injury. And still the broken rib from before..."
"He's been punched in the stomach really hard," said Sakura, "I think it's serious..."
No wonder it hurt him so much when he was throwing up. And hurt him still, but he was just silently dealing with it; like he did with everything.
"Can I?" Sakura hadn't used her abilities past normal first aid on Deidara before. As he was a captured enemy and not in critical condition, there was no point in wasting valuable chakra that could be used on teammates. It was also not practical to do anything that would make it easier for him to escape... but they hadn't planned on him being taken by the Sand village, or recieving rough treatment whilst carrying his injuries.
"Yes." It was hard, to watching him suffer like this.
"Please do," said Gai. No one could disagree with it.
"G-get the hell off, I don't need help un." He was hating their attention, cringing away from their contact again.
"At least he's talking again," said Gai. It was a relief; stubborn was normal for him, but allowing them to see that he was in pain was not. It had to be bad.
"Just stay still, I'm going to make it hurt less." Their faces became softly illuminated by the green light from Sakura's hands as she began using her healing jutsu.
"Why un?" hissed Deidara, "None of you cared yesterday..." he stopped, actually wanting an answer, "Why do you treat me different now un? I'm same as yesterday...I'm the same..."
"You are." Said Kakashi. Deidara preferred being treated like an enemy. Despite being badly shaken, he was still a proud little bugger.
As for why they were treating him differently now, no one would say it out loud. There was uneasy silence; it was because there was guilt involved...
When he'd kidnapped Gaara, attacked them; his captivity and any wounds and pain he felt had been brought upon him by himself. But now, it just felt different. A new thought came to Kakashi; They'd never offered him relief from the pain before, so why would he have ever asked or bothered to let them know? They were confusing him.
Running his eyes further over Deidara, Neji found more to say. "And I also think that maybe..." Neji actually hesitated, stammered. "maybe..."
"What?"
"I'm not medically specialised. I'm not sure, but I think..." He looked at Kakashi. "...it's something I thought before, when we were in that room.."
"It's alright, Neji." Kakashi knew. It had been obvious enough.
"Nothing happened there un..."
He was in denial. Maybe it was better for him, for now.
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Quietly lifting himself from Kakashi's lap, Deidara stepped away and crouched back down by the cave wall; hiding his face.
Kakashi's heart was still racing. Blood still streamed from the deep cut across his chest.
But, it seemed he was safe again, for now. He stared across at Deidara - he looked completely overwhelmed by whatever it was that he was thinking.
What had caused him to act like that? Then to stop like that? What had caused him to cry...to let Kakashi see him cry? It was so unlike him, it was disturbing.
He debated with the idea of talking to him, then decided to be quiet for now, to allow Deidara to take his time and try to gather himself. He didn't want to risk sparking another outburst.
Deidara was tracing one hand across cave wall, feeling it, as if for confirmation of where he was.
"It's... kind of clearer now, un." He spoke slowly, wavering unsteadily. "I forgot. I forgot everything..."
Was he finally talking about it? Wanting to talk about his time in the Sand Prison?
"Forgotten what?" Asked Kakashi; softly, tentatively.
Deidara shook his head.
"You want to tell me about it?" You wouldn't have said, if you didn't.
He was almost couldn't believe what Deidara said next.
"Are you mad at me, un?"
What?
"Well, yes. A bit." He couldn't lie. "But you don't seem yourself right now; just then."
More silence. Deidara's hands were restlessly clenching and unclenching, the tongues chewing the ends of his fingernails nervously.
"You can tell me if you want. I'm not that mad at you, Deidara." I don't hate you. For some crazy reason I can't hate you.
"It's weird. I remember everything now, un."
"What happened?"
He drew tighter into himself.
And then, finally, it all began to come out.
"They... tied me in a chair, and started saying all these things un, about me." He paused. "And...they hit me and I thought it would all just be torture and shit. For information, un. You know?"
"I know." He felt some dread at where this would now be going.
"But then it changed, un. I didn't get why they wanted to. Because I'm not a woman. And they said they had families un." Shit. Deidara really was young. He really didn't understand what people could do, even though he was in Akatsuki.
"But now...I think I understand it, more. I think all they really wanted un, was to see me being..." He voice was sounding more and more strained. "Wanted to make me..."
"You don't have to..."
"...they mostly just wanted to make me scared, un. See me scared. Make me plead. Because they hated me, un. Because of what I did before. It was my own fault un."
He lifted his head, met Kakashi's eyes now. He thought that Deidara had finished, had wiped them away; but tears still ran freely down his face. "I'm sorry, for just now," his voice cracked, "I'm sorry..."
He wasn't crying because he remembered his ordeal. He was crying because he was sorry that he'd nearly done the same thing to Kakashi.
"Everythings my own fault, un." He wiped his eyes with his arm. "When you said it...I got mad. But it's true."
Kakashi couldn't believe it. Deidara was apologising, blaming himself. Actually excepting the truth.
"Look...you're right." It was what he honestly thought. "A lot of this is your fault."
Deidara leaned his head on his knees, listening.
"It was your own fault that I severed your arm. You kidnapped Gaara, you were taking him away, I had no choice but to try anything I could to stop you. And it was your own fault you were captured by us. It was because of what you did - that you were fighting us in the first place."
He took a deep breath. "But, after we caught you, anything that happened to you thereafter was my responsibilty." It had been plauging him ever since. "When the Sand Village took you; I could have done more to prevent it. I should have thought ahead. I was over-confident; thinking that they wouldn't recognise you. I didn't really think about it."
Deidara seemed to be taking it in, but what he was thinking; Kakashi didn't know.
"I never...." His turn now. "I never did apologise about that, did I? I'm sorry. I feel so horrible about it. I have done ever since it happened. And you didn't deserve what happened there."
Deidara stared at the floor. Muttered something quietly, grumpily. Kakashi managed to catch some words that sounded like"...'fucking 'bandit on the road' shit un... "
Kakashi couldn't help himself, he chuckled slightly. "Yeah, my story was quite shit-"
"Are you going to tell the others, un? Would you tell them?" Interuppted Deidara, suddenly. The others? Did he mean Gai and their students?
"The others already know what happened there Deidara, it's alright." Apparently you were the only one that didn't know. "And as you can see; I'm not going anywhere." '.....Going to tell the others.'... Was he implying that Kakashi would be freed?
"No, I mean...about just now, un." He was ashamed of it.
"I won't tell."
"How can I know you won't?"
"My word. Have I ever lied to you? Don't worry, I won't ruin your image as some kind of revenge;" Wait, image? But didn't Akatsuki like to keep an evil image? Anyway..." I don't hate you. I understand why you did it, well, I think. It's hard-
Deidara picked up his Kunai again.
"You know, I fucking hate the sound of your voice, un."
So quickly?
"You think that you're so much better. So fucking decent, 'clean'. So you don't even hate me a little for what I did to you? For what I'm still doing to you..."
"Calm down."
But Deidara wouldn't listen, he was lost again, to his anger, already. "How are you like that, un? No one is like that!" He started shouting. " I don't believe you. What do you really think of me! You're only saying this shit because I have you tied up; right? It was a different story when you were free and I wasn't, un!"
"Ok, OK, look." It was getting scary again. "Duty and feelings are separate. So, what I have to do, is different from what I think."
Those who give up on their duties are...and those who give up on their...
Kakashi was thinking about him again, suddenly. "I didn't hate you, I was never cruel to you, was I? I mean everything..."
Deidara was different from him. It was like Deidara just believed that whatever Akatsuki wanted - was what he wanted too. Did he think Kakashi was like that?
"Everything is fucking lies and secrets with you, un. Your face, your strength; how do you get that sharingan power anyway, when you aren't even Uchiha, huh? Stole it from a guy you killed un? I know you aren't as honorable as you make out to be, no way. This shit you say to me - it's not true either. If you were free right now, you'd still try and kill me, un. I know you hate me."
"I really don't." He still said it, even though it wasn't what Deidara wanted to hear. Even though Deidara had a knife.
"I hate the sight of you, un." Deidara stood.
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"Well, I'm sure they are in Konoha by now, taking good care of Lee."
"Yes..."
They kept going, scanning briefly over the ground as they went, looking for clues.
"So, why the reluctance to kill Deidara then?" Asked Izumo. "None of you were keen on the idea back there."
"Well, I'll be honest," Said Gai, "I think it may have been that we spoke to him too much."
"Like I thought. This is always what happens! It's all enemy wiles though, Akatsuki would probably be especially skilled at that. Did he try to sweet-talk his way out of it, make friends? What did he try?"
"Actually, he mostly just screamed and swore at us."
"...and you got attached...because of that?"
"It wasn't just that, Izumo."
"What else?"
"He displayed ... YOUTH POWER!"
Izumo groaned inwardly. He wondered why they partnered him with Gai. He wondered he couldn't have put him with someone else. Even the Naruto kid.
"It was so cute Izumo, how he would describe how he would kill us even though he was tied up! So admirable how would still try to fight us, even with the hindrance of no arms!" Gai's face suddenly scrunched up with emotion, he actually began crying.
"Well," Izumo decided to ignore the crying. "I have to admit - he would be the easiest to keep for information; considering he has no arms. Shikumaru is just so hard to argue with, everything he says just makes sense...Look, Gai, please stop crying!"
They stopped for a moment, Izumo handed him a handkerchief.
"You are right, I'm sorry!" Gai sobbed into the thing. "We must concentrate on finding those Akatsuki members, and Kakashi, although I'm sure he is alright..."
"He'll be fine, he's really capable. Mic probably just broke."
"I Wouldn't be so confident about that if I was you."
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Struggling with the pain in his chest; Kakashi squinted over Deidara's shoulder as a huge silhouette blocked the light at the cave entrance.
It was Kakuzu. He entered, dumping his briefcase on the ground. He seemed furious.
"Couldn't get the bounty!" He growled. "Is he awake yet?" Kakuzu turned to Deidara.
He stared at how Deidara was bent over Kakashi; with his kunai in hand. At the fresh blood Kakashi had all over his chest.
"What the hell is this!" His eyes blazed, "The leader told us not to harm him!"
"Kakuzu, un..."
Stalking over to him, Kazuzu grabbed the kunai from Deidara's hand and then viciously backhanded him across the face. It was powerful; sent him to the ground. Kakashi actually flinched at the sight.
"Well?"
Deidara sat up, scowling, seething. But he didn't dare insult Kakuzu, he seemed cautious of him - obediant, even. "I...guess I got out of control. That fucker had me captive for days Kakuzu, I wanted a little revenge un." He glared over at Kakashi. "You know me, I can't let shit go un."
Kakuzu stared at Kakashi. At his ripped clothes. At the teeth marks Deidara left in him.
"For what he did to you?" From the filthy look he gave Kakashi, Kakashi had a feeling that Kakuzu didn't mean when he took Deidara's right arm...
"That's not it un, I just hate him!...Give me back the kunai-"
"What the hell! I would expect this from Hidan, but you're stupid enough to do something like this too?" His hand shot out, and gripped around Deidara's neck...Deidara looked fearful, but Kakuzu didn't do anything else. "I can't deal with your crazy rambling, I'm already angry. You're going to piss me off even more, and you aren't like Hidan... so get out before I do something you'll regret. Don't come back for a good hour."
He released Deidara, shoved him away.
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"YOU AGAIN!" Screamed Gai.
"Hey again! Want some more? After I fucked up that little mini-you?"
"Bastard! Lee's recovering already, what you did, that cowardly act..." But Gai hesitated to attack, wary, careful of what he knew of Hidan's skill...
"Hey, Asuma, got one of Akatsuki right here, the one with the sycthe..." Izumo was using his mic.
"Oh yeah, the message. The reason I'm here!" Hidan sighed, "OK, this is boring but they told me to say it..."
"Message? Akatsuki are making demands?"
"Shut up and listen or I'll get it wrong! OK, that Kakashi guy- we have him. Konoha is to send their Jinchuuriki to meet with us at the border of the Fire and River Country, tomorrow. Alone. And then you'll lose your cursed one, and get your legendary ninja back! It's a Win win situation...The copy-nin is pretty good I'll admit, I mean, I beat him, ha..."
Gai and Izumo looked at each other.
"What kind of ridiculous request is that? We won't give up Naruto!" Shouted Gai.
"You don't even have Kakashi, where is he then, what proof do you have?"
"...Oh , that." Hidan threw something at them, laughing when they leapt out of the way to avoid it, as if it were a bomb.
"Haha, yeah I'd avoid it, don't wanna think about where it's been..."
Gai cautiously looked at it, gingerly picked it up. Kakashi's book... Gai gasped. "He'd never be parted from this.." He said quietly to Izumo.
"Where is he?" Asked Izumo.
"Oh, in pieces you know," Said Hidan, scratching his head. "We'll just cut off a little more and more of him for everyday Naruto doesn't show. "
Gai blanched. He could believe it. He believed that Hidan could be that sick toward a prisoner. Izumo just stared in horror.
"Yes," Hidan seemed encouraged by the reactions, "Kakuzu and Deidara are with him right now torturing him and shit, and Deidara got his mouths-fangs back, and those things are fucking sharp...so you'd better hurry...! I have to go back and help out." He disappeared, smoke, it hadn't even been him...
"Oh my God what are they doing to him!" Izumo's eyes frantically searched the trees, for the way that Hidan went.
"....It's alright, I think he was lying." Said Gai, sounding strangely calm suddenly.
"What, they don't really have him?"
"No, about the torture thing. Because he said Deidara was helping...I know that he wouldn't. It was all talk... That guy, he likes to talk, I think he just says things for shock..."
Izumo didn't feel so confident. "I really hope that you're right Gai."
"Let's hurry anyway."
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Fucking Kakashi. Fucking stupid Kakashi...
He'd told him everything. Shown him everything. Let it out, lost it; both physically and verbally.
But still Kakashi looked at him in that same way. Even after Deidara did all that, made a fool of himself.
He regretted doing that now, now that he was thinking more clearly. Regretted telling him.
He should never have told him, why was he so stupid!
What he'd just done, before Kakuzu came in...he couldn't believe what he'd done-!
And that had been so close, with Kakuzu. Deidara usually knew better than to cause Kakuzu even mild irritation when they were around each other...
He heard a crunch on the leaves.
Disturbed from his thoughts, Deidara leapt behind a tree. It was dark...but he could see moonlight off the back of a little night animal running away - that was a relief.
No.
Something else...
He heard a yell.
"Don't move, Akatsuki!"
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TBC
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You won't guess who it is...seriously no one will guess ahaha.
DEIDARA-CHAAAAAAN!!!111 *hugs him* What have I DONE to you? You used to be so badass! T_T (secretly enjoying him crying and cute and revelling in the delicious evilness)
Next chapter: OK, like I said, this one is shorter, this is for 2 reasons. I split it to give 2 short chapters this week AND it felt better as two chapters, they were so different in mood. Anyway I'm tweaking the other one, up within the week...
next one is exciting I promise
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Feedback
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Q-chan: *wobbly eyes* I adore your appreatiation!! *squees* thanks for reviewing hope new chapter is ok :D

lividangel: Yess I love writing Deidara's turmoil, and making him cry. He's so cute when he cries T_T No one is eviler than me, indeed :D Sorry this chapters late hehe, thanks for reviewing again!!

mistress0yaoi: Really glad you are enjoying it!! Kakadei, it's weird, it just came out of nowhere lol. Thanks for reviewing!! :D
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Deidara Grounded