The Scheme

Disclaimer: Look in chapter 1

The Scheme chapter 8

Jade eyes examined a hand carefully observing the skeletal structure, the pulsing of the veins, and the suppleness of the skin. Sakura could not figure out why the hand belonging to her still tingled. It had been a week since the incident on the training ground with Sai. After they discovered their connected hands, they hastily retreated their limbs to its respectful place. They refused to acknowledge whatever occurred had indeed happened. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

She began to ponder her progress and her recent interactions with the dreaded Sai. Honestly, she no longer disliked his presence. He was witty and provided her with an excuse never to be nice. It was refreshing to say the least.

In the last week, she dragged him all over Konoha which he obliged with many degrading choice words. She was surprised to find that he really wasn’t a total jerk and could be thoughtful at times. He always paid even at times when she didn’t threaten him with castration or when she offered to pay herself. He would simply smile and say, “Even ugly girls got to have a handout or two.”

Sai also defended her from other people’s rude behavior by leaving her side to pleasantly approach the offending person. He would whisper something in their ear, and immediately, unending apologies would be showered upon her before the person groveled at her feet. Embarrassing as it was, Sakura frankly enjoyed every moment. As the righteous person her exterior self proclaimed to be, she would chastise Sai’s behavior openly. Of course, she later asked what words were being exchanged.

He would merely cock his head and reply, “Just that you were dropped on the head at birth too many times. If they don’t want your deform face to look at them and turn them into stone, they better apologize.”

Sakura knew that underneath the underneath, he acted like the proper shinobi boyfriend or pretend boyfriend. He probably imparted a few inventive threats of mind boggling pain.

It was yesterday night that brought about the most disturbing insight in the enigma named Sai. Sakura yearned to see a popular romance movie that opened in the theater recently. All her girlfriends watched the film with rave reviews, and she could not very well venture to go by her lonesome self. She did have an image to maintain, and she did not want to be in an enclosed space with loving couples surrounding her just so she could daydream about Sasuke-kun and feel sorry for herself. Because she was in a relationship with Sai of some sorts, she ignored all his protests and managed to bring him with her.

An interesting occurrence came when after they were seated, they saw Asuma-san and Kurenai-san heading toward the seats directly in front of them.

“Why hello Sakura-chan, Sai-san,” Kurenai greeted them with Asuma looking poignantly at Sai for some empathetic exchange of manly disgust for chick flicks.

“Hello Kurenai-san, Asuma-san. Are you here on a date?” Sakura inquired.

Kurenai nodded while Asuma grunted, his eyes searching for the nearest exit so that he could probably rush out for his cigarette immediately after the movie’s conclusion.

“I heard this is possibly the best romance. Ino-chan told me that she cried at the ending,” Sakura commented.

“Really?” exclaimed Kurenai as she re-directed their seating with Asuma in tow. The red eyed kunoichi sat next to her. “I heard the main character is very handsome.”

“Me too,” agreed Sakura as she and Kurenai looked at each other with dreamy faces and impish grins.

“Women,” mumbled Asuma before Kurenai jabbed him causing him to hiss loudly.

“At least he has an attractive one,” whispered Sai before he too received a painful jab.

After the movie started, all the females including Sakura and Kurenai uniformly responded to the film with coos, sighs, giggles, and whimpers. Halfway through the movie and at a pivotal romantic point of the story, Sakura swiveled her head and noticed that all the couples in the audience were intimately positioned with the arms of the men surrounding the shoulders of their respective dates. Even the coarse Asuma had his arm swung around Kurenai closing their distance. The kunoichi cuddled Asuma’s side while his head lolled back and forth as he snored quietly. At this moment, Sakura felt immediately depressed to be the only true single female in the theater. She ached for some physical contact, and it did not help when all the females were sharing some loving affections while watching a loving scene. Loneliness overwhelmed her but then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Sai glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “It’s out of pity, ugly,” he muttered before squeezing her shoulder tenderly as he pulled her towards his warm body. Sakura could not help but smile as she happily resumed watching the movie as the feeling of loneliness washed away.

Sakura believed that her relationship with Sai took a surprising turn for the better. She no longer had to resort to threats or bribery to garner his cooperation. Furthermore, she found that she liked him more and more as a person as she discovered all these interesting facets about him that he apparently stowed away. Not that she had any romantic inclination whatsoever towards him, but now, she could definitely consider him a good friend no longer just an insufferable teammate.

Sakura shook her head to relieve herself from thinking about Sai any longer. Sasuke-kun was the important person here, and he represented her main objective. Sakura’s overly large brain began to analyze her progress with Sasake-kun over the past week. Slowly but surely, she saw signs of her scheme succeeding.

Sakura assessed Sasuke-kun’s behavior to have changed for the better. Now that she was more consciously acting as his good friend rather than a starry eyed infatuated girl eager for his attention, he began to loosen up. She still maintained her mother hen role in his and Naruto’s life by dropping off food, providing encouraging words of support, and forcefully offering to heal them whenever she saw them in pain which they usually and fervently denied. However, Sasuke-kun seemed more comfortable in her presence. He no longer blatantly ignored her, bestowed her fewer looks of annoyance, and said more words than normal -- which meant more than a short sentence or two. Three days ago, they had lunch under the least expected circumstances.

Sakura was strolling through the market distinct wondering what to have for lunch. All her friends were occupied so she thought she would grab a quick bite from one of the many stands. As she approached a food stand emitting the most heavenly smells of skewered sizzling beef, she heard her name being called out. When she turned her head, it was Sasuke-kun walking to her direction. For the first time in her life, her Sasuke-kun sought her out rather than vice versa. Her brain concluded that he may be experiencing withdrawal from her constant attention. She had not bothered to approach him for some inane purpose for several weeks. Or maybe, it was wishful thinking on her part.

“Hi Sasuke-kun!” she announced.

“Hn,” he greeted her.

“Taking some time off I see. Let me guess, Kakashi-sensei’s perversion got to you.”

Rather than respond, he just directed his eyes to the meats being cooked on the counter.

Normally, she would have asked him to join her for lunch, but that was old Sakura. This Sakura minded her own business. If he rather go off to the sunset to enjoy his plain old riceball in private was his own prerogative.

“I don’t know what I should get,” she pondered aloud while looking at the different choices of meat. “Maybe I should get dumplings. Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Sakura.”

She turned her attention to the source of the voice who a second ago was right next to her. Now he was walking away with his hands shoved in his pockets. She merely stood her ground and stared at his retreating back wondering if he had taken an illicit drug since he called her just for the sake of calling her. Before her brain began to rationalize his actions, he called her again in his monotone voice while looking slightly peeved. This in Sasuke translation meant “come along or else” because no one ever refused him.

Not one to take a gift horse in the mouth, Sakura hurried to his side. “Uhm where are we going?”

“I know a place,” he answered ambiguously.

Minutes later, they arrived in a small restaurant specializing in dumplings. Sakura was about to have an aneurism when she finally understood the meaning behind his statement. Mildly speaking, Inner Sakura was throwing a party in her head.

They sat down together in a table and shared a large plate of delicious fried dumplings. She chatted about anything and everyone while mentally reminding herself not to use the forbidden “d” word. This was certainly not a date, right? Whatever the real answer happened to be, she knew that she could not pretend this to be one. Throughout her incessant chatter, he even appeared to be paying attention in his own way by remaining indifferent and saying a few “hns,” “ahs,” and “dobes” in the mix. While recounting a story of a disastrous date between Ino and some jounin whose name escaped her at the moment, Sakura raucously laughed at her own joke and even had the gull to merrily slap him on the back. Now he looked as if he was experiencing an aneurism.

“Sorry, sorry,” she pleaded with a huge grin. “But that was funny, ne?”

“Hmph,” he smirked.

The lunch went better than Sakura expected. And when the bill came, Sakura had every intention to pay for at least her portion of the meal. When she pulled out her pouch, she saw Sasuke-kun pay the entire bill without another word and hand it to a waiter. Nonetheless, she protested and urged him to take her money. He glared at her before leaving the restaurant without another word which was a Sasuke thing to do.

The odd Sasuke-kun encounters did not end there. During other chance meetings and another sake trip into the seedy district, he behaved more cordially with her than his past you’re-annoying-and-you-will-never-change attitude. Granted she no longer made goo goo eyes at him or scream “Sasuke-kun” “Sasuke-kun” like a bad recording on repeat, she reckoned the slight alterations in his mannerisms had something to do with his changed perception of her.

Yesterday in particular, when she stopped by after the movie to perform her ritual delivering of some food, he did not just take her bags and then silently convey a message for her to run along. He removed the bags from her hands and went to the kitchen leaving the door ajar. He being the paranoid all-consuming ninja would never leave the door unlocked without having placed traps and exploding tags on the entrance way if he had not meant for her to enter his sanctum. Although Sasuke-kun’s actions were akin to interpreting some secretive foreign language, Sakura prided herself to be the only one to hold the title as the official translator.

Walking into his apartment, Sakura realized that this was the first time he invited her in without it being dinner night. Curious and eager, she followed him into the kitchen. If this signified the early results from her scheme, she could not wait for the final outcome. He would be eating out of her hands or something close to that since Sasuke-kun could never be considered a normal man……or even a normal shinobi for that matter.

“So how’s your training with Kakashi-sensei? The jounin exams are really soon.”

“Good.” Translation: I will ace it with flying colors. No one will manage to compare to my superior level. There was such modesty in his words but the true meaning boasted with supreme confidence.

“I see. So you won’t need my help then,” she commented as she took out his rarely used tea kettle.

“What are you doing?”

“Making tea. It’s socially polite to make tea when you invite someone over,” she lectured taking much joy out of provoking him to do what she wanted no matter how inane it really was. So what if she was on a power trip? This was her Sasuke-kun for Christ sake.

“Hn.” Again, it was the number nine, “I am not amused,” hn.

He predictably seized the kettle away from her and started to fill it with water.

“Well, it’s a shame. I wanted to try a new move with you. I didn’t have a chance to use it against Lee-san because he would literally keel over. Maybe I’ll ask Naruto or Sai. How about --”

“Tomorrow then,” he confirmed. He could never resist a challenge in the ninja arts especially when his win – which he was undoubtedly assured of – would denote his superiority over people he considered rivals.

“Sure.” She smiled sweetly. Her Inner Sakura cried a loud ‘HELLZ YEAH!’ Tomorrow would be the time when she upped the ante.

He served the tea, and they sat to talk some more which inevitable resulted in her talking and him listening. Maybe it was the soft lighting, but he no longer possessed the frigid glint in his obsidian eyes or the harsh lines marking his features. His posture was the most relaxed she had ever witnessed in her presence, not that he was loosey goosey but less anal retentive. He even laughed, well his version of it, when she narrated what happened on a particular drunken night when Neji tripped over a rock and landed face first in a pool of mud.

Time flew by and Sasuke-kun did not signal for her to leave. So after an hour, Sakura reluctantly announced her departure. As she left his apartment, she observed Sasuke-kun trailing after her.

“What are you doing?”

“Walking you home,” he dismissed her as if she was an idiot.

“I know that. I have legs. They work fine.”

“Hn.” Number nine again.

“I’m a ninja. A jounin. Sheesh. I am not some porcelain doll. I can take care of myself,” Sakura argued for propriety’s sake. Little Sakura was hyperventilating with Inner Sakura placing a brown paper bag over her mouth. Never had Sasuke-kun offered to escort her home so it was the most welcomed surprise.

Without even bothering to start a quarrel, the macho stubborn male pretended not to listen and exerted his alpha status by walking towards the direction of her apartment fully expecting her to follow.

She had no choice but to spend more time with him alone with the moonlight as their backdrop. It was such a difficult task but she was nevertheless up to the challenge.

Sakura grinned as she conjured up the memories with her Sasuke-kun during the past week. Definite progress had been made. He no longer resented her, preferred to be in her company, and acted like a gentleman in his own covert ways. She recognized that Sasuke-kun came from a traditional and well respected family, and although he lost them at a very young age, he still abided to the principles of tradition ingrained in the Uchiha name. Of course, not having the opportunity to fully absorb the Uchiha way, Sasuke-kun retained only the essence of the family characteristic. Nonetheless, she wondered when she peeled more of his protective shells away what kind of man she would discover.

Sakura glanced at her watch. She could not sit on her butt and continue to analyze the outcomes of her scheme all day and night. Shikamaru recently got promoted to Anbu, and the gang decided to throw him a celebration in a well known bar for ninjas. Premature as it was, Sakura could not help but hope that Sai would get along with her friend. Sai would be knocking on her door at any minute, and they both would arrive fashionably late. Hopefully by then some of her friends would be drunk enough to openly befriend potty mouth Sai.

“Why do I have to come again?”

“Because Naruto and Sasuke-kun will be there.”

“Fuzzy brows will be there too. Your friends are also insane. I think the negatives outweigh the positives.”

“Shut it. I don’t want to argue,” said Sakura as she opened the door to the bar.

They entered the loud crowded bar together. The air stank of cigarette smoke and alcohol. Numerous drunken jounins and chunnins greeted them as the duo passed through the boisterous crowd. Sakura swore she saw some female nins sigh at her companion and stare dreamily at him. She would have gagged a couple weeks ago and be tempted to order the women for head examinations, but now, she was not so quick to make such a judgment.

She saw a drunken Kiba already on the small makeshift stage with a karaoke microphone singing a terrible rendition of a song that sounded nothing remotely close to the pitch, notes, and words of the actual song. With Akamaru howling as Kiba’s back up singer, the dog pair harmoniously worked on an incentive to make everyone deaf before the night ended.

“I think my ears are going to bleed,” shouted Naruto through the howling racket.

“Forehead girl!” bellowed Ino who was the first to take notice of their arrival. “What took you so long! Oh, it’s you Sai. Well don’t stand there like a bunch of idiots and sit down!” Ino pointed to some unoccupied chairs.

Everyone on the table looked at her and then at Sai. Shikamaru barely paid attention, Sasuke-kun glared frigidly, and Naruto’s face appeared as if he sucked on a sour lemon. Thank god, Sakura had a little “pep talk” with the belligerent blonde about tonight.

“Congratulations Shikamaru!” Sakura hollered through the chaotic noise to the indolent bum who received her words with a lazy wave. She made sure that Sai sat next to Neji, the one nin at the table who did not experience the pleasure of Sai’s trademark insults.

“Urgh! Those dogs are going to DIE!!!” yelled Ino as she stormed off to grab Kiba’s sensitive ear while shouting obscenities into it. Unfortunately the microphone was nearby so everyone had the privilege to listen in. “YOU TONE DEAF MONGREL AND COMPANY BETTER STOP OR I’LL SHOVE MY KUNAI SO FAR UP YOUR ASSES THAT –“ The microphone gave out a deafening shrill forcing everyone to cover their ears before the poor inanimate and defenseless object broke from the sheer volume of Ino’s voice.

Sai leaned towards Sakura garnering Sasuke’s glare that went from being frigid to absolutely artic and said, “Ino’s mouth is good for something.”

“Shut it,” growled Sakura.

“Well that was interesting,” TenTen giggled before turning to Sakura who sat next to her. “You should get a drink. As you can see, we already started.” True, everyone wore their inebriated personalities that amplified their already eccentric sober ones.

Both Sai and Naruto both rose from their chairs and simultaneously announced, “I’ll get it.” The entire table went silent as they witnessed Sai and Naruto confront each other by engaging in a battle of glares. Naruto’s teeth loudly grated as he sneered while Sai responded with his usual smile that appeared blatantly offensive at the moment.

“I’ll do it,” Sasuke offered as he watched his friend and nemesis go at it. This did not go particularly well either because Sai’s non verbal fight immediate transferred from Naruto to Sasuke-kun, the king of all visual threats.

The tension mounted and the drama began as the two powerful shinobis battled to see who will win the chance to win the fair maiden’s attention. Or so she would like to think although both men paid more attention to one-up each other at the moment. Shinobi rivalries and all, how stupid can they be to compare who possessed more testosterone? All eyes turned to Sakura for her to decide and allow the merry making to recommence.

She made a pact with Sai to irritate her teammates but she could not openly betray them either. Oh decisions, decisions! Why couldn’t she just get sloshed like any normal ninja without getting caught in the middle of two stubborn males’ battle of the wills contest?

“I know what Haruno wants,” came Neji’s voice as he was already in motion to fight the crowd in front of the bar. He successfully quelled the hostility as the neutral third party. Sakura sighed for the blessed relief and noted to herself to get the Hyuuga a nice gift of excellent sake in the future.

Ino returned with a whining Kiba, her fingers still painfully clutched onto his ear. “So what I miss?”

“Bah! This is too troublesome,” Shikamura grunted.

“You say that about everything,” commented Choji who opted to eat then drink.

“Sakura, help me,” begged Kiba cringing from the pain as Akamaru nuzzled her hand with his snout.

“Ino-pig, you should let Kiba go,” Sakura offered unsuccessfully.

It was Sai who became Kiba’s unexpected savior. “Save his ears. If you really want to hurt him, try something down below.”

Ino stared incredulously at first, but liquor released some of her inhibitions. She shrieked in laughter and finally released Kiba who rose to feet.

“Hey… hey, what –“ blubbered the surly injured man.

“She did let you go without anymore pain didn’t she?” Sai remarked.

“Well yeah….” Surely Kiba was a little dimwitted. He thought for a couple of seconds before his face lit up, and he grinned exposing his canine teeth. “Damn that woman. Those fingers are dangerous. Sai, you’re okay in my book,” he announced as he smacked Sai in the back and left for the bar.

“Insane I tell you,” Sai muttered.

“They are unique,” Sakura defended quietly. “Speaking of unique, where’s Lee-san?” she asked out loud as she clamped down on Sai’s knee to prevent him from fleeing.

Shino provided the clue. “He had something to drink earlier.”

TenTen pounded on the table while laughing hard. “He went crazy! He tried to challenge everyone into a fight. First, Neji as expected then Naruto then Sasuke. When no one agreed, he started to fight his chair” pointing to a pile of wood underneath the table, “the bar,” pointing to a portion of the bar completely demolished, “and the wall,” tilting her head to the splintered wood someone attempted to tape back together. “We all jumped on him and managed to tie him up and drug him inducing sleep. He’s in the back recovering.”

Everyone laughed, chuckled, snickered, or whatever expression of amusement each ninja exhibited in line with their personality.

With the mention of Lee-san’s unfortunate mishap, the ice successfully broke, and the gang resumed their rowdy behaviors that stilled upon Sakura’s entrance. Naruto, refusing to acknowledge Sai’s presence, spent most of his time chatting with Hinata who overcame her shyness with regards to Naruto when the girls “accidentally” locked them together in a supply room with locks, traps, and exploding tags a few months ago. Shikamaru, Choji, Shino, Kiba, and Sai huddled together to discuss the Anbu exam. Mostly it was Kiba forcing drinks down everyone’s throat as Choji, the ever supportive friend, explained the battles in detail which Sai translated crudely by adding insults and sexually lewd innuendos causing the boys to snicker. Shikamura took everything in stride by appearing uninterested and mumbling everything to be “troublesome.” Shino as expected did an impression of a tree but stoically moved his arm to insert the liquor placed in front of him by Kiba into his mouth. Ino and Sakura continued their verbal rivalry and gossiped about the cute shinobis in the room. TenTen discussed her upgraded weapon attacks with Neji who listened quietly but had one cautious eye on Naruto, ready to murder the blonde if he did anything inappropriate. Sasuke looking so annoyed that another massacre would take place at any moment merely sat, drank, and brooded.

It was not until many rounds of drinks later when chaos broke loose. Ino sloppily was throwing come-hitter winks at Genma that actually appeared as if she was experiencing some seizure with an uncontrollable twitch in her eye; TenTen had her hands full with a struggling Lee-san who had yet to become completely sober; Choji physically supported an inebriated Shikamura who was loudly whining about his complicated life; Sakura and Hinata were verbally and physically holding back a furious Neji seeking to dismember an apologetic and frightened Naruto whose fumbling words angered the Hyuuga more than it did to soothe him; Kiba was hugging a howling and fidgeting Akamura tightly while bawling noisily about how much the dog meant to him; and poor Shino had his bugs buzzing about as he placed himself between a murderous Sasuke ready to pounce on a smiling Sai who was ridiculing his look-alike of traitorous actions. One would speculate whether Sasuke’s reactions actually sparked from Sai’s words alone.

While Konaha boasted of their ninjas for their professionalism, self control, and logical mind, the scene displayed in this very bar contradicted every trait. Some opened their flood gates of hysteria and others became pre-occupied about causing blood shed or preventing blood shed. Never did it pass in anyone’s mind that liquor mixed with ninjas particularly elite ninjas in large settings could potentially bring about Armageddon.

A/N: I know how I’m going to make the ending (insert evil laugh here). It’s so diabolical! People are going to complain, and no one is going to be happy. *chuckle* Trust me, there will be NO deaths! That’s too cliché even for me. And I’m not going to be persuaded “by please hook sakura with ___. “ This is my little whimsical fanfiction, and not some Naruto version of “Passions” filled with bad dialogue and overly emotional, incomprehensible characters.

Tell me what you thought about this chapter. Portions of it are based on memories before the linear story commences. I thought I speed up the progress. I don’t label things with “flashback” or such because I feel that those warnings distract from the story. I find it only fitting to use it not to jump from one time to another but to emphasize the concept of time as an important factor in the story telling. Also, I’m trying to balance humor and romance. Hopefully, I’m succeeding in it. I added some more sugary WAFF-iness to this chapter. Made me kinda sick, but was sadly required. God this was a bitch to write. The audience asked for more romance, so I gave it to ya……well as much as I can because these characters can’t be romantic in the conventional sense. Anymore would definitely push the characters in the path to the OCC black hole.

Sorry that this chapter is incomplete. I’m experiencing writer’s block. Also, I’m already completely drunk. I did not know how to end the scene, so I became a little presumptive and just ended it right there. I wanted to make more happen, but I’m not so sure now. Just consider the last half as amusing filler (because this fic doesn’t have enough of those). =P Sorry about the spelling and such. I can't think about it right now since i can't even feel my right hand.