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Captured Heart	By : MisatosPenPen Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Sasuke Views: 5996 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Captured Heart
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Chapter 4
- 5-Iruka
- 6-Monotony
- 7-Flight
- 8-Chapter 8
- 6
- 7
- 8
Everyone who saw Kakashi noticed how more upbeat he was. He wasn’t slouching as much—not to say he wasn’t slouching, just not to the extent he had been since his return, more like he did before his capture. He held his head up and just seemed less depressed.
Iruka and the others all assumed that seeing Sasuke again had helped him get over what happened to him. They couldn’t know just how right and how wrong they were about that.
Knowing Sasuke cared and wanted him to come home, that Sasuke’s feelings and his own were valid and real, lifted a burden from his shoulders. He really did feel lighter. But he didn’t change his routine. A brighter man, but, otherwise, unchanged.
Of course, having been hit with the Sharingan, they had to check him out.
Santa wasn’t as good as Inoichi; Kakashi didn’t fear him.
When Santa tried to enter his mind, Kakashi let his defenses come up as it would if this was an enemy. Santa couldn’t penetrate his mind.
“Relax, please.”
“Instinct, sorry. Maybe if you ease in, it’ll be easier for me to relax.”
Santa took his advice. However, that allowed Kakashi to present a false memory to him. He thought of nothing but that false memory. He ran it through his mind so many times it almost seemed like the truth. It was difficult, but he’d done this in his ANBU training and had used it once before with a powerful enemy genjutsu user.
Sasuke looked as stern as ever. “I should have known you’d be able to escape. I trust you made use of what you stole. Didn’t want to go through all that torture for nothing.”
“I never read them, just turned them over to the Hokage.”
Sasuke growled. “It seems I’ve become more cruel since your escape. My people wanted you recaptured immediately.”
“Here to take me back with you?”
“No. I won’t endanger our alliance for that.”
The connection between Sasuke and Kakashi appeared to be ended there when Tsunade called out to Sasuke.
Elements of his real memory gave the fake one more validity.
“I see. So, he was concerned about the documents you brought back. I don’t see any influence in you this time either. You’re clear. I’ll report my findings to Tsunade.”
Kakashi nodded to him and left. He was certain Santa didn’t sense the deception.
-----
On his way home, he stopped by Sakura’s apartment to pick up more supplements. She was expecting him.
“Thank you, Sakura. I’ve been feeling better; I won’t need any more after this. My appetite is returning.”
“You do look better.”
“Thank you.”
“Did you see Sasuke?”
That startled him. But of course, Naruto and Sakura would see Sasuke when he came here. “No.”
“Oh, he was here for a few days. I think he left yesterday.”
“How was he?”
“The same as usual. But stressed. You can see it in his eyes. And he was paler than I remember. He really just listened to Naruto and I talk. But he was tolerant of it. I think he was even a little bit happy to see us. Maybe.”
Kakashi smiled. His eyes conveyed the expression. “Well, maybe I’ll get to see him the next time he visits. I might not have been allowed because of ANBU or something. Thank you again for making these for me.”
He went back to Iruka’s apartment for a nap before he had to wake up for work.
-----
A week later, he told Iruka he was going to spend the afternoon and evening out on his night off. Kakashi woke up a little early and went over to visit Gai. He hadn’t seen him since he got together with Iruka.
He greeted Gai with his old closed eyed smile when he opened the door. “It’s been a while since we had a contest, right?” he said cheerily.
Gai smiled at Kakashi’s returned good humor and enthusiastically agreed. Being wheelchair bound, they couldn’t race or fight or anything so vigorous. Gai suggested a sushi eating contest. Kakashi readily agreed.
Gai could wheel himself around, but Kakashi pushed his old rival to the restaurant. They sat at the conveyer belt and began their battle.
They never needed to talk; that wasn’t what their relationship was based on. Just sitting there together was enough.
Kakashi might have been getting better, but his appetite hadn’t fully recovered. Gai easily won.
“That is the first time I ever won an eating contest with you,” Gai said looking over at him.
“Depression kills an appetite.” Neither were bursting at the seams; Kakashi had given up after only a dozen plates. “I’ve been feeling better.”
“You certainly look better than you did.”
“You didn’t see me at my worst.”
“It gets worse?”
“I stopped eating for a time. Even Tsunade jumped down my throat about it.”
“Iruka?”
“He helps.” Kakashi paused and thought about how much he would miss Iruka. He really had been invaluable to him. “I saw Sasuke. He was meeting with Tsunade. I don’t know, it was like seeing him again . . . tore apart the image that I’d built in my mind of him. What was I so afraid of?”
“I’m glad you’re getting over it.”
“I don’t think I can ever completely get over it, but I’m finally moving on.”
“Good.”
“Thank you for everything. You always tried to pull me out, stop my loneliness. No matter how much I just wanted to be alone, you kept butting in. I know you spoke to Sandaime about getting me out of ANBU. He told me you, Asuma, and Kurenai asked him to let me go. The four of you just wanted to save my soul from the darkness I was sunk in. Thank you.”
“Remember when we first met?”
“Yeah, first day at the academy. For me at least.”
“That was the day I set my sights on you. I strove to be good enough to challenge you. I watched you suffer through so much and there was nothing I could do but try to cheer you up.”
“I appreciate it. You kept me sane.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Had your fill?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll pay tonight. I’ve been a dick and stayed away.”
“I’ll agree to that.”
Kakashi paid and wheeled Gai home. He was going to leave immediately, but he stopped. “One game of Janken before I go.”
“Jan, ken, pon!” they called together. Kakashi threw paper and Gai scissors.
“Fifty-four to fifty-five,” Kakashi declared. “You’re ahead.”
“Until the next one.”
Kakashi just gave him a rainbow-eyed smile.
-----
It was still early and Kakashi didn’t relish going home to Iruka. He wandered he residential streets. Most people were having supper now. This part of the village was quiet now.
He thought about Kurenai. She was probably eating now. He decided to go get some dumplings and see her.
Kakashi feared she might not open the door to him, but she did with a smile. He lifted up his offerings. “Dango?”
“Any time.”
She invited him in. Mirai was napping on the sofa after her dinner.
“You look brighter,” Kurenai observed as she put the box on the table.
“Yeah.” They stood a little awkwardly for a moment. “They aren’t listening,” he assured her.
She smiled sadly at him. “You’re leaving,” she whispered.
He nodded absently. “It’s hard to stomach the lack of trust. Despite everything, he trusted me. I’ll miss you, both of you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
He came over and embraced her. “Thank you for looking out for me all these years.” He comforted her after Asuma’s funeral, that was the only other time he had ever hugged her.
“I really will miss you, Kakashi.”
“You always were the sister of our group, always looking after us. Look after Iruka; he won’t take it well.”
“I will.”
They separated. Kurenai went over to Mirai and rubbed her tummy to wake her. “Hey, look who’s come to visit.”
“Shiro!”
He crouched to pick her up. Then he saw the shinobi bear on the cushions. Mirai had crudely tied a bandana around it’s lower face. It amazed him how quickly his eyes welled up. He might never see either of them again, but maybe Mirai would have some memory of him from the bear. Even if she just kept that bear, in a way, he would be remembered. Maybe by two people, not as a traitor. He pushed back tears and kissed her forehead in a paternal fashion.
“I brought you dumplings.” He let her down and she went for the table.
Kurenai made tea. Kakashi drank a cup while Kurenai and Mirai ate the dangos. He never spent time with them like this—didn’t have much of an opportunity after the war. But he would miss this and them.
“Am I making the right decision?” he asked her. Mirai happily munched on her dumpling, unconcerned with what the adults were talking about.
“I think so. You’re drowning here.”
“You’re right.” He choked back a sudden wave of emotion. “You’re right, I’ve been drowning. Seeing him again was the first fresh breath of air I’ve had. I don’t feel like flailing anymore. I’m just treading water, but I can see an island.”
“Go toward it.”
He nodded. “It’s a cute bear.” He rubbed the scar above his eyebrow. “Don’t scar it up.” He stood, bent down, and kissed Mirai’s hair then Kurenai’s cheek. “Stay safe.”
“We will.”
His gaze lingered on the little girl he cared for. The thought had occurred after the war that maybe he should settle down. Kurenai was still grieving, but she had her baby girl to sustain her. But he thought maybe she’d need a husband and Mirai a father. He was too cowardly to ask.
“Goodbye, Kurenai.”
“Goodbye.”
-----
He didn’t want to talk to Iruka today. The sun had set. He preferred walking at night; it was quiet, dark, and there were no people. But he didn’t like not being able to see the stars.
He headed for the cemetery. He walked straight to Rin’s grave. He put his hands in his pockets and stared down at the stone. The glow of the city was enough illumination to just make it out. That angered him. Why wasn’t it pitch black?
“I’m sorry I haven’t been here in a while.”
He knew ANBU was nearby, so he stared down in silence.
Take care of Obito. I know you are. I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you. He started to cry. You and Obito were my first failures. Not my last. I tried so hard to not let my comrades die.
Obito, I know you’re with Rin now. Don’t give her any reason to worry. I’m sorry, but I can never be Hokage. I can’t fulfill your dream for you. You know, you actually succeeded. You wanted to create a world of peace. By becoming the villain, you united the shinobi world and brought this era of peace.
Sensei. You’re disappointed, aren’t you? And you, father.
No, I sense that all four of you just want me to be happy. Watch over the village, in my place. I’ll do what I can to preserve this peace.
He didn’t say goodbye. He was sure Rin and Obito would greet him next time. His father greeted him the first time; his friends would greet him the second. Then he could see his father again. And finally meet his mother.
But it wasn’t death he was walking toward now though.
He slipped inside Iruka’s apartment, relieved that Iruka was asleep. He poured himself a drink. A few splashes of water on his face cooled his flushed skin. The drink relaxed him. It wasn’t a physically trying day, but emotional. He crept into bed and dropped off almost immediately.
-----
Kakashi was glad Naruto asked to have lunch with he and Iruka a few days later.
“You didn’t get to see Sasuke, right?” Naruto started when they sat down at Ichiraku.
“No. We saw each other briefly in the Tower, but I wasn’t able to meet with him. How was he?”
“He seemed stressed, but also relieved. He said he couldn’t talk about his meeting with Tsunade, but I think he cemented our alliance. He’s really pale and thin, more than he was before. He mentioned in his letter that he was busy building up his village’s defenses. I think he’s been working too hard, but it’s paid off.”
Kakashi smiled easily at him. Yes, things had gotten better for the Land of Windmills, but he believed that relief was from that short connection they had.
“Sakura offered to make him a supplement. He finally gave in and she gave him a bag of them when he left. He did ask how you were. I said you were fine. I know you’ve been depressed so I didn’t really know what to say. I wish you could have talked to him.”
“Me too. Sasuke is as precious to me as you and Sakura. I wish he wasn’t so stressed. I wish he could relax in the peace you and he brought about. Yet, I am proud of all he’s accomplished. I am proud of all three of you.”
Naruto smiled with a little embarrassment.
“You had further to grow than him, but he was tempted to evil and rejected it—with your help. He’s built his own nation out of orphans and cast outs. You’ll soon be Hokage. Two of my kids will lead legions. And Sakura may outshine her master in medical ninjutsu. I couldn’t be prouder.” He mused Naruto’s hair.
Iruka looked on, happy that the conversation wasn’t negatively affecting Kakashi.
“I’m glad you were able to see him again,” Iruka said.
“Yeah,” Naruto said. “He’s calmed down a lot and a lot of that . . . darkness he had is gone. He’s still dark, but it’s not as intense. Even Sakura was completely comfortable with him. After he tried to kill her and even right after when defeated Kaguya, she was kind of afraid of him.”
“Responsibly toned him down, I guess.”
Kakashi agreed. “It’s not even been two years, but he’s been building a nation and a shinobi village. He’s really done a lot of living in the last few years—learning, vengeance, grief, the long process of dealing with grief, admitting wrong, then the building a country and village, and bringing people together. He was mature beyond his years before, but he probably has the wisdom of age by now.”
“I’d like to go see him, see his new home, and spend some real time with him.”
“Probably won’t be long before you can visit. And of course, you’ll invite him to your wedding, but you’ll be too busy to hang out with him. Except the bachelor party.” That made Naruto blush. “Don’t worry, we’ll make it an epic one.”
Kakashi laughed at the impressive shade of red Naruto had achieved. “I hope it’s going well?”
“Yeah. I thought her dad would be angry or something, but he approved of us dating. I always thought he was a little scary.”
“Hiashi’s mellowed out a lot,” Kakashi said. “It was you who started that. I don’t see why he wouldn’t approve of you as a son in law.”
Though he was shy about it, Naruto started talking about his relationship with Hinata. Kakashi relished listening to Naruto. Naruto went from topic to topic as he ate bowl after bowl of ramen. Kakashi valued this time with him.
Iruka only cut Naruto off because they’d been there a long time and they were taking up seats at the small bar. As they got up to leave, Iruka noticed that Kakashi left an empty bowl this time. He truly was recovering.
-----
Kakashi woke up alone nine days later. He took a few moments to lay there and stretch. He felt refreshed. Golden sunlight struggled to fill the room from around the drapes. Kakashi stood, pulled the drape aside and looked out over the village. He was going to miss this gilded city. But it wasn’t the village of his childhood anymore; it wasn’t his father’s village. Part of him would miss this warm light and warm village.
It was a few people he would miss the most. Kurenai and her daughter, Genma, Raido, Gai, Izumo and Kotetsu, Naruto and Sakura, and of course Iruka. But Sasuke weighed more than them all together in his heart.
He braced his arm on the wall and leaned his head on his wrist and started at the village for the last time. He said his goodbyes to the village he’d protected. It would live on without him. It was already surviving without him. It was time for him to move on.
Dressed but for his armor, Kakashi made the best ramen recipe he knew. It was no Ichiraku ramen, but he knew Iruka’s favorite food was the same as Naruto.
Iruka was on time coming home.
“Dinner?” Iruka was startled to be treated to Kakashi’s homecooked food.
“I woke up early,” Kakashi said simply.
“I’ve never had homemade ramen like this before.” He put his bag away and sat at the table. It smelled wonderful. He took a tentative taste. “It’s almost as good as Ichiraku!”
“That’s too high praise. I was on a long mission once and learned to make this when I missed Ichiraku.”
“It’s excellent! Thank you. Ramen is my favorite.” Iruka gave him such a bright smile it almost made Kakashi wince.
After dinner, Kakashi put on his armor.
“Have a good night,” Iruka said to him.
Kakashi took Iruka’s chin in his hand to turn his lips up. Kakashi kissed him. “I love you. Goodnight.”
-----
Kakashi came across a mission to Taki. He didn’t know the lay of the land that well. “I need to check some things in the library,” he announced to his co-workers.
“Right,” one said, the other merely raised his hand in acknowledgement.
Kakashi was aware of the other eyes following him. He entered the library and found the map he was looking for. He left, deftly leaving a clone in the library in a dark corner of the room.
Once the watchers were gone, the clone picked up the flashlight the real him left on the table. Using the same memory tricks he used in The Land of Windmills, the clone memorized dozens of documents, or at least the gist of them. The clone worked even as Kakashi left for the training grounds and went through his routine.
As Kakashi walked home, he froze when the clone vanished, taking in all the information. He covered it by shivering, as if the sweat on his body was doing too good a job cooling him now that his exercise was finished.
He crept inside, using the window in the dining room. He used all his skill to not wake Iruka. He didn’t shower, just freshened up with the scent eliminating soap so that the smell of sweat wouldn’t wake Iruka as he moved around.
He gathered a few things, pulled out a scroll, and crouched next to the wall. There was another shinobi living in the adjacent apartment so if ANBU was tracking his chakra uses, they wouldn’t be able to tell who used a jutsu. He sealed his photographs, a few pieces of clothing, his favorite weapons, and his dear little houseplant, Mr. Ukki, into the scroll. Iruka stirred, but the chakra wasn’t enough to wake him.
Kakashi pulled out a letter from under the sofa where he hid it earlier so Iruka wouldn’t find it. Now, he placed it on the dining room table. When Iruka didn’t find him, he’d find the letter as he searched the apartment for him.
He took a deep breath. He was ready. He glanced at Iruka’s sleeping form. His heart hurt for Iruka’s sake. Iruka would be heart broken, but he hoped the letter would help.
Kakashi ventured back out, acting like he was just restless. The training grounds were still silent and that’s where he headed.
After a brief warm up, Kakashi made a break for it. Kakashi ran north. It took a few minutes for ANBU to realize he wasn’t just going for a run. Kakashi ran as if from the devil. ANBU just couldn’t keep up.
-----
There was an odd similarity to Kakashi’s failed escape from The Land of Windmills that led to his torture and his flight now. He was close to the border. He put on a burst of speed, needing to get over the border to feel safe. If anyone was still following him, they would think twice about crossing the border.
Ahead, he saw two shinobi along with the cat who had taken him down so long ago. They were waiting for him just on the other side of the border. He stopped in front of them.
“I believe Sasuke is expecting me.”
One of the shinobi smiled. “He is. Welcome. We’re all relieved you’ve finally returned. We’ve been concerned for Sasuke-sama’s health. Do you need to rest a moment? Were you followed?”
“I don’t think I was followed, at least not closely. And frankly, I think if I pause any longer, I won’t be able to get going again.”
“Let’s be off then.”
-----
Sayeko was in Sasuke’s office when they arrived. This was the first time he’d been inside Sasuke’s office. He’d snuck a peek of it from outside when he was spying when it was unoccupied.
One wall was all tinted glass and faced north toward the sea, though you couldn’t see it from this height. Shades could be drawn to completely darken the room. The desk was situated so that the occupant had his back to the western wall. Shelves with books and scrolls covered the other walls. The door was opposite the desk.
Sayeko stood from Sasuke’s desk and came around to greet Kakashi. She was happy to see him, bowing quickly.
“Sasuke-sama is on a mission. He wasn’t sure when you’d arrive. He should be home today or tomorrow.”
“I have information for him, but it’s all in my memory. I’ll write it out for you.”
She bowed. “Thank you. Sasuke-sama mentioned you’d be bringing something. You should head down below. I’ll have a meal prepared while you clean up and rest.”
“Thanks, Sayeko.”
He was allowed to go down to Sasuke’s suite of rooms by himself. There was a guard at the door who opened the door for him.
Kakashi just stood there for a moment and took in the smell of the room. Home.
Something didn’t look right. He looked to the left and saw the room was bigger. There was a small kitchen now. He ventured into the bedroom and it was a few feet wider too with a second dresser. The suite hadn’t been cramped before, but it was meant for a single person. Kakashi couldn’t help smiling; Sasuke made the suite bigger just for him. Kakashi didn’t need any other sign of how much Sasuke loved him.
He was exhausted, but he knew he needed a shower before crawling into someone else’s bed. He showered and relished using Sasuke toiletries, rubbing some of the scents Sasuke carried on him into his own body and hair.
A hot meal was waiting for him. He summoned his things from the scroll and dressed in the blue yukata he bought for the summer festival. It was one of the few things he brought. There wasn’t any sunlight down here, but he set Mr. Ukki on the kitchen counter and gave him some water. Maybe he could find a new home in Sasuke’s office.
He sat at the low table and ate his fill. Finally, he stripped and flopped into Sasuke’s cushy bed.
The door and outer room light didn’t wake him. Nor did the shower and a man crawling into the bed next to him. He slept through the night.
He woke up in utter darkness. Regardless, he knew that presence next to him was not Iruka. He turned and put out an arm under the blanket and found Sasuke’s waist. He cuddled up behind him and settled his hand over the Uchiha’s heart.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Captured Heart