Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

The Thin Line Between Love and Hate - COMPLETE	By : kizukatana Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2092 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto does. I make no money from anything I write on this site.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
-xXx-
Naruto closed the door to his apartment. It was midnight, and he had been up since six in the morning after only a few hours of sleep the night before. He was exhausted.
After so much time alone, the swirl of people he had interacted with today had exhausted him, but also somehow helped him take that final step back into normalcy. He had always been a social person, and the past two years had been lonely.
He thought back over the evening. It had not been as hard as he thought it would be to have the conversation he needed to with Yahiko. Yahiko had been surprised to learn that Naruto was still married, but not surprised at the return to the 'just friends' status. He knew the depth of feeling that Naruto had for his ex. The pain that was reflected in Naruto's art could only have been birthed from a consuming kind of love. And as much as he might not like Sasuke, he had seen the look in the man's eyes and had known he was not going to let Naruto go. Even without the surprise news of the marriage still being in effect, Yahiko had been expecting Naruto to put things on hold between them until he got things sorted out with Sasuke.
Naruto knew that Sasuke was upset that he had seen Yahiko tonight instead of him. Naruto had had time to calm down after the awkward intrusion at lunch. There was no way to erase what had happened. They had both slept with other people. It had happened. He could continue to be jealous and angry about it, or he could just accept that it happened and talk to Sasuke about what it meant now.
Naruto pulled out his phone. He wasn't sure if Sasuke had changed his cell from two years ago, but he figured he'd try.
Teme. It's late, so I won't call. I know how you are about your beauty sleep. I hope this is still your number. If it is, now you have mine as well. If you're up for it, I can call you after I finish work tomorrow and we can meet at my place for dinner. But if someone you fucked shows up there, I am throwing them out the window. Just sayin'.
Naruto hit send, and didn't expect a reply until morning. He was surprised when his phone rang few minutes later.
"Hey." He recognized the smooth baritone of Sasuke's voice immediately.
"Hey."
"So... where are you?"
The abrupt question puzzled Naruto for a second, until he realized that Sasuke must have been worried he'd spend the night at Yahiko's. Sasuke's jealous. Naruto rolled his eyes but smiled, knowing he was being an ass for enjoying it a little, but put the man out of his misery. "I'm home. Alone."
There was a pause. Then,
"Is that an invitation?"
"Bastard. Did you call me after midnight to talk dirty, or are you going to answer me about tomorrow."
"I can come over tomorrow. What time do you think that the shoot will end?"
"Not sure... I've only done a few of these. Sometimes they are quick, and sometimes they take all day. That's why I figured it would be better if I call you when I finish, so you won't be waiting for me to show up."
"I could pick you up from your shoot. Shikamaru mentioned that you don't have a car."
"Nah, it's across town from you. I have someone who is going to drive me, so it's not a problem."
"Yahiko?"
"Look, he's my friend."
"He's more than a friend."
Naruto sighed. So many landmines. He hated talking about stuff like this over the phone. "Not anymore. I told you I was going to talk to him tonight. And I did. He knows where I stand on this kind of thing. He understood... and actually expected it after talking with you the other day."
Naruto listened, hearing slight the sound of Sasuke breathing.
"Hey. Did you fall asleep on me?"
"Let me pick you up tomorrow."
Sasuke didn't say please, but it was pretty close. Naruto could hear it in his tone. He had wanted to keep his old and new lives separate, at least until he had resolved things with Sasuke one way or another. But Sasuke was never one to be contained. Naruto sighed, already feeling himself getting pulled back into the undertow of his attraction for this man. He needed to find some way to keep some degree of separation so he wouldn't drown, but he also knew he would have to pick his battles. They had both always been insanely possessive of each other. He knew it wasn't healthy. But he also knew that he hadn't been kidding about throwing one of Sasuke's lovers out the window. Why would he assume Sasuke would feel differently?
"Ok, fine. I'll text you the address. I'll give you a call when I think we are getting close to wrapping up, and you can come get me. But if your day ends up exploding and you can't make it, just let me know so I don't end up waiting. It's not the best part of town."
"I'll be there."
"Ok. Now get some sleep. I don't have to be in until eleven tomorrow morning. You have to be in by eight."
"Ok, mom."
"If you think of me as your mom, you're a fucking pervert."
"I may be a pervert based on what I think about you, but it definitely has nothing to do with my mother."
Naruto hesitated for a second, then decided he wasn't ready to go there.
"Good night Sasuke."
"Hn."
Naruto closed the phone. In all their years of dating, the bastard never actually said good night. It was one of a list of words that the man avoided. Like 'sorry', 'please', or 'I love you'. But somehow, Naruto loved that about him. Added to his bastardly charm. He fell asleep grinning, looking forward to tomorrow. It was comforting somehow that at least some things hadn't changed.
. . . . .
Sasuke pulled up in front of the warehouse that matched the address that Naruto had given him. Naruto hadn't been kidding. This was not a good part of town. He wondered if his McLaren was still going to be there when he came back out. He locked the car and headed in towards the open door.
Traffic had been a nightmare, and it had taken him much longer than he had expected to get across town to pick Naruto up. But he hadn't received any annoyed texts from Naruto, so he hoped that meant he hadn't kept him waiting long.
As Sasuke stepped into the building he heard voices, and immediately recognized one of them as Naruto. The other man's voice was smooth and sexy... somehow a little too sexy. Sasuke walked in, his eyes adjusting to the dimmed light and searching for Naruto. The warehouse was a maze of stacked wooden crates, cameras, and lighting equipment. Sasuke followed the sound of the voices. The mats in the entryway had muffled Sasuke's footsteps, making his approach silent. There were only a few people left, as most had already left for the evening.
"Why won't you come back to my place? Looks like your friend isn't coming," the man was saying.
"He'll be here. I'm not worried," Naruto replied easily.
Sasuke turned a corner and saw two men setting on a stack of crates. He recognized one immediately as Naruto, who was dressed casually in a tight black T-shirt and cargo pants. The other man was slim, with shoulder-length brown hair and tattoos around his neck and arms. He was sitting next to Naruto, just slightly too close to look completely innocent. Looking at them, Sasuke could tell the he must be one of the musicians. The man leaned slightly towards the blond, and his hand brushed Naruto's thigh. Naruto shifted, pulling his body just out of reach of the man. Sasuke suppressed a growl. What the fuck was Naruto doing with this guy?
"I know a bit about you, actually," the man was continuing, ignoring Naruto's subtle rejection. "I looked you up when I saw who the recording company had picked to be the artistic director for the video."
"Makes sense, I guess. It's good to know about the person you're working with, and what their experience is. Though I don't have much experience in this industry yet."
"True. You did a lot of work in other industries before this, though. But I meant that I know about your past relationship with that business tycoon, Uchiha?"
Sasuke could see Naruto's shoulders tense. He knew he should walk forward to draw attention to his presence, but he was curious what the man was going to say about him. Sasuke was standing in plain sight... it wasn't that he was hiding or anything. They just were too wrapped up in their conversation to notice his presence. He stayed where he was.
"You know Sasuke?"
"No... I just found it interesting that you like wealthy men who can help you with your career. I could be... very helpful to you."
Sasuke felt his fists clench, and he took a step forward when he heard Naruto burst out laughing. "Seriously, dude. You're an idiot if you think Sasuke would have needed to help me with my career in order to get me interested in him. You've obviously never met him. And come on, man... you're a famous musician... incredibly talented and good looking. You can have just about anyone you want. You don't need to sell yourself short by making it seem like you'd need to bribe someone to sleep with you."
Naruto shrugged, continuing on. "For me, I know I am good at what I do. Your label wouldn't have hired me if they didn't think so, and I know that you approved the decision based on my paintings and some of my advertising work. If you don't like my work here, then you can fire me. It's your call. But if I wanted to make it at something by fucking my way to the top, I'd have done it straight up and been a male escort. I'm pretty straightforward that way. So let's you and me agree that we're both too good at what we do to make a deal like that. I like you, and I like your music. But I'm involved with someone else, so that's as far as it goes."
The man looked surprised for a minute, then laughed a little, "Wow, you're very direct. It's actually very attractive. But fair enough. Just keep me in mind if you become... uninvolved."
Sasuke was still annoyed, but he was able to unclench his fists. Naruto had managed to give a firm rejection while still giving the guy a compliment. Sasuke wondered how that was even possible. Naruto stood up, and noticed Sasuke standing there. "Sasuke, you're late. I thought you were standing me up."
The musician looked at Sasuke, a flash of recognition in his eyes at the mention of Sasuke's name. He glanced at Naruto, seeing the blond's attention completely latched onto Sasuke, and reading the intensity of his gaze. Understanding the situation for what it was, the man simply sighed, stretched, and stood up. "I'll see you in the studio when we go over the runs."
Sasuke felt the familiar satisfaction flow through him as he realized that the man had no chance. Naruto's blue eyes were fixed on his, amusement sparkling in them as he likely read Sasuke's possessive posture. Naruto simply nodded to the man, slung his bag over his shoulder, and walked over to Sasuke.
They headed out to the parking area together. Sasuke gave his car a quick once-over to be sure all the hub caps were still there.
Naruto laughed. "Don't worry, honey. I'll protect you from the bad men around here."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "The guy takes a few kung fu classes and now he thinks he's Bruce Lee. Get in the car, idiot."
Naruto paused, looking at the car. Sasuke hadn't had this two years ago.
"Nice car, by the way. Are you compensating for something?"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his former lover, walking over until he was standing directly in front of him, less than an inch separating their bodies. Naruto's legs were pressed back against the door of the car. "If you think I have anything to compensate for, your memory is getting short."
They stood there for a few seconds, eyes locked on each other. Naruto fought the almost overpowering urge to just shove Sasuke down onto the hood of his shiny, black, phallus-symbol of a car and fuck him, regardless of who might see them. He had no problem at all with his memory of the man. And Sasuke was right... he had nothing he needed to compensate for.
Naruto felt a tremor ripple through the muscles in his hands and arms as he forced himself to remember all the reasons he didn't want to go there yet, and blew out a shaky breath. "So are we going to my place for dinner or what? I'm starving."
Sasuke smirked, easily reading the poorly suppressed lust in Naruto's eyes, but he stepped back. He might be a little disappointed that Naruto had been able to show restraint, but he could wait.
They both got into the car, Naruto with a bit more effort, being unfamiliar with the contortions required to ride in the racing car.
"You know, this is a fine piece of machinery and all, but it is incredibly impractical. How the hell do you jam yourself into this every day?"
They were both above-average height. "I still have my other car. But this is my favorite. And it's not built for comfort, it's built for performance."
Naruto snickered, ignoring the obvious come-back to that one. "Whatever. When I get around to buying a car, it's going to be actually practical. It's not like you get to drive on a racetrack with this thing or anything."
Sasuke just shrugged. "Actually, I do. There's a racetrack just outside of town. It's a great stress reliever to take this out and open it up on the track by myself."
Naruto frowned at that. "As long as you don't combine your new-found love of speeding with your newfound vice of drinking, I guess."
"So what was with that guy?" Sasuke asked, changing the subject.
Naruto shrugged. "He's the guitarist in the band. He's an ok guy... just a little horny and tired of the usual groupies, I guess."
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "He's an ass."
"He's rich and famous. Aren't all of you guys asses?"
Sasuke slammed on the brakes and pulled over, his patience snapping. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Naruto shrugged. "Just that guys like you are used to everyone around you trying to suck your dick, both literally and figuratively. So you come to expect certain responses from people. The music business is full of them. But it doesn't faze me... I can handle myself with people like that. I'm not impressed, and I'm not intimidated. If they don't want to work with me, then that's fine. I really don't care."
Sasuke looked at Naruto for a minute, then snorted out a laugh. "I guess that's true. You always were unique like that. It's one of the things I always liked about you."
He pulled back out on the road and they continued along to Naruto's apartment in more comfortable silence.
Sasuke pulled up in front of Naruto's apartment building. "Aren't you afraid of parking this thing? Fixing a scratch on this probably costs more than a month's worth of rent for me."
Sasuke just shrugged and got out. Naruto followed suit, and they headed up to his apartment. Naruto unlocked the door and they went inside, taking off their shoes. Sasuke was still dressed for work, so he removed his jacket and tie as well, and laid them over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. He unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and rolled his sleeves midway to his elbow.
"So what's for dinner?" Normally, Sasuke wouldn't even have asked, because whenever Naruto had cooked (and that had been a rarity) it would have been instant ramen. Which really didn't qualify as cooking. But somehow he knew that that was no longer the case.
"Well," Naruto opened the refrigerator and began taking things out. Sasuke recognized some vegetables, and his eyebrows rose. "I had time to go to the grocery store today, so I am going to make shrimp curry."
Naruto turned and grinned at Sasuke, remembering the last time the man had eaten a spicy curry. "But don't worry... I'll go easy on you with the spices."
Naruto got some rice going in the rice cooker, and began mincing garlic, onions and ginger. Sasuke watched in amused fascination. Naruto had been a complete fire hazard in the kitchen before. But he now seemed totally at ease. Sasuke grabbed a second cutting board and a knife. "What else do you need cut?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow, but handed him some tomatoes and bell peppers. And they fell into an easy rhythm of cutting and talking about their day. Sasuke hadn't done this with anyone since his mother had died, and the vivid memories from his earlier childhood suddenly surged up and caught him by surprise. He was totally unprepared for the rush of emotion that swamped him. Naruto paused, seeing the anguished expression on Sasuke's face. "You ok?"
Sasuke nodded, struggling for control of his voice. "Yeah. It's just... I used to do this with my mother when I was a kid. It's... nice."
Naruto just looked at Sasuke, and in that instant, all his uncertainty about what he wanted to happen between them evaporated. He loved this man - this beautiful, tortured, complicated person. Naruto set down his knife, wiping his hands on the kitchen towel. He walked up behind Sasuke and wrapped his arms around the man's waist, resting his chin on Sasuke's shoulder. "Yeah. It is nice."
Naruto knew that if Sasuke had been with anyone else, he would simply have closed up and walked out of the room when the memories had surfaced. Naruto didn't take for granted the depth of trust that Sasuke had shown him by simply allowing him to see his emotions, and know their source. It reestablished something in Naruto, that this trust Sasuke had in Naruto had not been destroyed.
They stood there for several minutes, Naruto holding Sasuke lightly while Sasuke wrestled down the emotions that had temporarily over-run him. Naruto always knew what to do when Sasuke had needed him. The quiet strength and understanding... he never pushed. When Sasuke had regained his equilibrium, he gave Naruto a small jab in the stomach with his elbow. "Back to work. I'm getting hungry."
Naruto grinned, and tightened his grip briefly around Sasuke's waist with a quick nuzzle to his neck. "Bossy," he said, but moved back to cooking.
When it was ready, they sat down at Naruto's small kitchen table to eat. Naruto watched with amusement while Sasuke tentatively took a small bite, then looked up to Naruto in surprise. "This is actually... good," he said. "I guess I won't need that bag of rice cakes I brought in the car in case your cooking was inedible."
Naruto kicked him under the table. "Never underestimate Uzumaki Naruto."
Sasuke smiled, and they continued eating.
"So where did you learn to cook like this?"
"When I was in Andalusia. I decided I wanted to be able to cook properly," Naruto paused. This was starting to touch on dangerous ground. He looked at Sasuke, trying to decide how much he was ready to really open up. Sasuke felt the hesitation, and looked up from his food.
He knew that Naruto was debating telling him something. And suddenly, even though it was just cooking, Sasuke knew that he needed Naruto to tell him what made him learn to cook, that somehow it went a lot deeper than simple food preparation.
"So no more instant ramen, then," he said, hoping he wasn't pushing, but knowing he was.
"No," Naruto paused, then dove in. If Sasuke could be open, then so could he. There was no turning back now. Naruto had made his decision, so he just had to man up and answer Sasuke's questions. They needed to get everything out in the open about the past before they could move ahead and talk about their futures. "No. You know, when I was young, no one took the time to cook for me, and I didn't know how to do it for myself, but instant ramen was at least warm food. And then when I was old enough to learn, somehow it just seemed a waste, cooking just for me." Naruto looked down, and was startled when Sasuke's hand grabbed his wrist forcefully.
"It's not a waste, Naruto. You're not a waste."
"I know. I know that now. It's just, for a long time, I didn't. But after... after what happened between us, I didn't really have anything else to anchor me. And I had to decide whether I could be worth it to myself or not." Naruto felt Sasuke's grip tighten even more on his wrist, as though willing Naruto to make the right choice. "And I did. I decided that, no matter what, it would be ok."
Sasuke didn't release his grip. He wanted to ask Naruto about the sleeping pills. He wanted to know... but Naruto had already told him he didn't want to talk about it.
"Ask me," Naruto said, already guessing where this was going.
"Did you do it on purpose?"
Naruto looked down. "No. But I didn't really care much at the time about the outcome either."
Sasuke swallowed hard. "If you had died, I would have... " Sasuke felt so much anger, and so much grief all at the same time he almost choked on it.
"I know. It was stupid." Naruto's voice was low. He still felt shame for how low he had sunk, but was glad that Sasuke's eyes showed no pity or disgust for him.
"I was stupid, too," Sasuke said. He saw the reflection of the pain and depression that Naruto was remembering as he thought back to that time, and his hand shook with the need to wipe it away. He knew he was probably bruising Naruto's wrist, but he couldn't let go. "If I ever do something that stupid again, kill me. Not you."
"Pft. Like I'd ever let you do something like that again. I'd just tie you up and make you tell me what was wrong. If we are going to be... together again... I'm never going to let you shut me out like that. For both our sakes. And if you try it, I will absolutely kick your ass."
Sasuke breathed out a small laugh and forced himself to at least loosen his death grip on Naruto's wrist, but still kept his fingers loosely encircling it. His heart was pounding as Naruto's words seeped in. He hoped desperately he was not misinterpreting what Naruto was really saying here, what he was offering.
"Are you saying you want to be together again? As friends or... "
Naruto smiled ruefully. "There are still a lot of things we need to sort through, but I think... there has never really been a choice for either of us. And you and I both know that we could never be just friends."
Sasuke's eyes darkened, and a short breath of air forced its way out of his lungs. It was going to be ok. Naruto was going to take him back. He felt almost dizzy with the knowledge, not having been able to face the alternative if Naruto had rejected him for good. He wanted to just pull Naruto across the table to him and close the distance. But he heeded the warning that Naruto had given that they needed to talk through things first. He released Naruto's wrist and leaned back in his chair, hoping that a little more distance would help him maintain control.
"So what do you want to know?" His voice came across as controlled, but he knew his eyes were reflecting what he was feeling. Naruto laughed softly at his lover's attempt at a cool and controlled façade.
Naruto looked at their empty plates. Given how uncomfortable this conversation was likely to be, he decided they may as well sit somewhere more relaxing. "Let's sit in the other room for this," he picked up their plates, and Sasuke followed into the kitchen with their glasses. Naruto grabbed the rest of the wine bottle, and they walked to the orange couch and sat down.
Sasuke topped off their glasses, and set the bottle aside. "I see you still have this beast."
Naruto grinned. "It's going to be buried with me."
Sasuke just rolled his eyes. "Well?" he prompted.
"Ok, let's start with the basics. I know you saw a lot of people over the past two years. Are you still seeing anyone now?"
"No. I never saw anyone seriously. They were all one-night stands. And I haven't slept with anyone in more than a year." Sasuke saw no need to beat around the bush with this.
Naruto's eyes widened at that. Sasuke had always been... very sexual, to say the least, with him. The idea of him not sleeping with anyone for so long was a little unbelievable. He hadn't imagined that Sasuke would have felt the depth of loss in the same way he himself had. He had assumed that, even if Sasuke were emotionally crippled and didn't have real relationships, he would still have at least continued to seek physical release with a partner. He would certainly never be short of offers.
"Why?"
Sasuke took a breath, and looked up in the ceiling. Though it went against his very nature, he knew that he had to be completely open now. "Because none of them were you. At first... at first I just wanted you to feel the same hurt I had felt. I went out, I got drunk, and I let whoever wanted to take me home."
Naruto felt his fingers clench at the thought, but he already knew this, and just sat and waited for Sasuke to continue. As much as it hurt to hear it, there was no going back in time to erase it.
"I knew that the press would be interested, so I slept with women to keep the reputational damage to the businesses to a minimum."
"But... you're gay. You're not bi. How did you even..."
Sasuke laughed bitterly. "If you're drunk enough, you can fool yourself into thinking just about anything. You close your eyes, and imagine that the person touching you is the person you want, not the person that's actually there. It's not actually that hard."
Naruto felt the bile rising up in his throat at the mental images that Sasuke's words evoked, but just nodded.
"After I felt like I'd done enough in the public eye, I thought I'd try to find a real relationship. Or at least sex with a partner I didn't have to be nearly unconscious to be attracted to. I went to some gay clubs, and hooked up."
This hadn't been in the press, but Naruto wasn't surprised. He was surprised at how much more it bothered him to think of Sasuke having sex with other men than having sex with women. But he had had sex with Yahiko, and actually cared about him, so he knew he really wasn't in a position to fight about it. The wine tasted sour in his mouth, so he left his glass untouched. He knew that they would have to get over what they had both done. But it would leave scars. Things would never go completely back to the way they had before.
"But you didn't find anyone you wanted to be serious with?"
Sasuke shook his head. "They didn't know me. They liked me for my looks, or for my money or connections. Same as always. I just felt... empty. And I got tired of waking up feeling like that. The alcohol at least dulled the pain, but the sex just made me feel even more alone. So after a while, I just dropped the sex and went straight to drinking."
Naruto looked at his friend. Sasuke had always seemed so invincible and self-sufficient. It seemed foreign to think of Sasuke unable to go on without him, as though he depended on Naruto as much as Naruto depended on him. It wasn't possible.
"Then Itachi woke up and kicked my ass."
"I've always loved that about Itachi."
They both snickered, remembering several instances from their childhood. Itachi had always been the level-headed one of the three. But they sobered as they thought about the more recent past again. Naruto sighed, "But I'm grateful to him. I didn't really believe what I was reading in the papers about you drinking and going off the deep end. It just... didn't seem possible."
Sasuke just looked at him, then looked down, not sure what to say. "When I saw your paintings, I felt the same way. I just had this sick, sinking feeling like - 'oh, god, what have I done.' And at that point, I didn't even know that you hadn't cheated. You've just... you've always been the stronger one, in some ways. It didn't seem that you could really have -"
Sasuke trailed off, not really sure where to go with it.
"Well, I guess we're both just a couple of idiots. It's probably not normal to be the way we are," Naruto wasn't actually joking, but laughed a little anyway.
Sasuke smirked. "I don't think anyone has accused either of us of being normal in a very long time. If ever. Why would you think a relationship between us would be normal?"
They looked at each other for a while, not sure what to say but wanting to push what needed to be discussed, and get everything out in the open so they could begin to move past it.
"Did you sleep with anyone from the office?" Naruto had dreaded asking this question, but he needed to know. He didn't want to stumble into it after they had gotten back together.
Sasuke looked at him in disgust. "Of course not. What the fuck, Naruto? I wouldn't sleep with someone I work with."
Naruto simply raised a brow, clearly remembering many heated moments with one or the other of them bent over a desk, or an office chair, or a conference table, ...
"Present company excluded, of course," Sasuke corrected with an answering smirk, clearly remembering some of those same events.
Naruto rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the flood of relief that washed over him at Sasuke's answer. He knew he was going to just have to accept that what had happened happened. He'd never like it, but he thought he could at least deal with it as long as he wasn't tripping over it in the office every day. He thought about asking Sasuke how many people he had slept with, but decided in the end he really didn't want to know. Whether it was 20 or 100, it still sucked. The number didn't really matter, so he didn't bother to ask. And he didn't really want to find out that Sasuke didn't actually know how many people. He had a feeling it was all a blur to him.
So he figured after putting Sasuke through the wringer, it was his turn.
"Yahiko is the only person I slept with. When I was in Andalusia, I just was a mess. And I didn't want to just get in a relationship with someone when I didn't even know who I was anymore. So much of me was wrapped up in you. It wasn't until I really felt like I was getting my shit together that I considered another relationship. And Yahiko was safe, because I knew it would only go so far with him because of Konan. I wasn't ready for anything serious yet."
Sasuke knew he was scowling. While he was on the one hand glad that Naruto hadn't had a horde of lovers like he had (and yes, he knew that was hypocritical, but it's just how he felt), he also somehow knew that Yahiko was more serious than all of his one-night-stands combined. Because Naruto actually liked him, and they would probably continue to be friends after all of this.
Naruto waited, seeing Sasuke's reaction and knowing that he was still unhappy about the situation. "If I had known I was still married to you, I wouldn't have slept with him. I waited until after I had signed the divorce papers and thought it had gone through."
"Don't be an idiot. I don't think you cheated on me. That's not what I'm pissed about."
Naruto nodded, accepting Sasuke's response. "So then, given that you slept with way more people than I did, why are you so pissed?"
"Because you like him. He's not like the people I fucked. I have no desire to ever see or talk to any of them again. But Yahiko will be around. You do business with him, and you like him as a friend. You like him as more than a friend, too, but are willing to stop that part of it to be with me. But it's still there."
Naruto shrugged uncomfortably. Thinking about it from Sasuke's point of view, he knew he wouldn't like it if Sasuke were still interacting with one of his one night stands. And this had been more than a one night stand. But he wasn't going to just drop Yahiko as a friend, at least... he didn't think that was right. "Yes, I am friends with him. And I do like him as a person. But for the attraction part... there are lots of attractive people in the world, Sasuke. You and I can both recognize when someone is attractive. But when I was with you, there wasn't room for even a spec of desire for anyone else to seep in, no matter how attractive they were. Because I only ever wanted you in that way. And even though I slept with Yahiko, it was only because I never thought I'd have you again. It wasn't that I chose him over you. That would never happen. And if we get back together, things will change with Yahiko. I will never go to his place again, and he'll never come to mine. I'll only meet him at the studio or the gallery, or at the Onyx with other people."
Sasuke still didn't like it. He didn't know if it would be unreasonable to ask Naruto to cut all ties with Yahiko, but he really wanted to. "I don't know if I can handle that," he said honestly.
Naruto nodded unhappily. He understood where Sasuke was coming from. He just didn't know what to say. "So this is something we'll have to figure out. I don't want to hurt you, or make you doubt me. But I also don't want to just dump Yahiko as a friend, because that doesn't seem right. He helped me get back on my feet, and I'm not referring to sex. He has really helped me with my career, and talked me through a lot of insecurities I had about my abilities. I... I don't know what to do."
Sasuke sighed. He didn't blame Naruto for feeling that way. Naruto didn't use people, and he knew that he must honestly like and respect Yahiko for them to have the relationship that they had. It was ironic that the thing that he admired most about Naruto was the thing that made him hate Yahiko so much. "Ok. Just for now, if you are going to be anywhere with Yahiko, I want you to tell me first. And if possible, I want to be there."
"Ok. I can do that," Naruto nudged Sasuke's foot, wanting to lighten the mood a little. The conversation had been emotionally exhausting for both of them.
Sasuke pushed his hair back from his face, his eyes looking around the room and settling on an object in the corner.
"You play?" He asked, indicating the guitar.
Naruto blushed and laughed a little. "I'm learning. I suck, but I like it."
"Play for me," Sasuke said, settling back on the couch.
Naruto got up and picked up the acoustic guitar. He fiddled with the tuning, glancing nervously at Sasuke.
"Um... I've never played for anyone before, so..."
"Just play. I don't even know how to tune an instrument, so I'm not going to judge."
Naruto blew out a nervous breath that had Sasuke smiling slightly, and then he began to play. He played softly, hesitantly. The melody had a Latin feel that Sasuke couldn't place, but it was beautiful. He heard Naruto humming very softly as he played, and Sasuke's heart gave a little lurch. Naruto stopped, and looked over nervously at Sasuke. "So, that's it. That's the best song I can play. I'm going to find an instructor here and start taking lessons, but I just haven't gotten around to it. I know it's kind of crappy, but I just.. it relaxes me."
Naruto knew he was rambling a bit. But he hadn't expected to play for anyone, and he was really nervous and a little embarrassed about it. He wasn't that great at it yet, just mostly fooling around and looking techniques up online.
"Come here," Sasuke said softly, plucking the guitar out of Naruto's hands and setting it on the coffee table. He didn't give Naruto time to actually comply with his demand before he leaned in and brushed his lips softly across Naruto's. "That was beautiful."
Naruto just sat there, his eyes slightly glazed. Sasuke smirked. "Actually, if you find a good instructor, I'd love to take lessons with you."
Naruto blinked. "Wha- oh, right. Yeah, actually, that would be awesome."
It was hard, but Sasuke forced himself to stand up. "It's really late. I should be getting home."
"Oh, right," Naruto blinked, still trying to settle himself back down after that kiss.
"So I'll see you at work tomorrow?"
"Um, yeah. Right. Yes, I'll be in by eight."
"I'll pick you up at 7:30," Sasuke said, immensely enjoying Naruto's struggle to focus.
"Ok. Good night, Sasuke."
"Hn."
Sasuke walked out and got in his car. He knew that if he had pushed the kiss, Naruto would have let him stay the night. But he wanted Naruto to be the one to initiate it. He knew that Naruto was treading water emotionally right now. He wanted to be sure that Naruto was really ready. Of the two of them, Naruto had had the most damage inflicted on him. Sasuke regretted... regretted so much. But there was no erasing it. So he would let Naruto set the pace of their reconciliation. Even if it killed him.
Of course, he thought, a wicked grin appearing on his face, that doesn't mean I can't leave a few hints.
-xXx-
Naruto was losing his mind. And it was all the bastard's fault.
After clearing the air the other night, they had fallen into an easy routine. Sasuke would pick Naruto up each morning for work. They'd go through the day as usual at the office. Naruto had found it surprisingly simple to slide back into their old work rhythm. They had lunch together and talked about everything. Sasuke seemed to be giving Naruto space, but that wasn't quite accurate. Sasuke would bring in a report to discuss with him. But instead of bringing an extra copy, he would just bring one, forcing them to lean towards each other. And somehow his breath just happened to brush across the sensitive spot just below Naruto's ear. Fuck. Or when Naruto was in the creative design room leaning over the drafting table to review proofs of advertising creatives, somehow Sasuke always just happened to be passing by and would stand right behind Naruto, leaning over as though he had any fucking idea what he was even looking at. He'd stay like that for a few moments, make some random, useless comment about the pictures, then he'd walk away. Leaving Naruto shaking and sweating.
And then had come the morning when Sasuke had walked into Naruto's office and dropped a file on his desk, then walked right back out. Confused, Naruto had opened the file to see the results of a battery of lab tests confirming that in fact, Sasuke had no STDs or any other health issues. And a yellow post-it note on the front in Sasuke's anally perfect handwriting that read: "Just for future reference."
Naruto knew what Sasuke was doing. He wasn't stupid. Sasuke might have decided to let Naruto set the pace, but that didn't mean he was just going to sit idly by.
After work, sometimes they'd go out to dinner, and sometimes Sasuke would just drop Naruto off at his apartment. Sasuke never asked to come up, and Naruto never offered. It was as though they were both waiting for something to happen. Naruto knew that the next time he asked Sasuke up for dinner, he wouldn't leave until morning. They were both ready. But Naruto still felt himself hesitate each evening when they got to his apartment. He'd catch the brief flash of disappointment in Sasuke's eyes when he'd just say goodnight and head up.
And Naruto would go to bed alone, wondering every fucking night why he didn't just drag the bastard up and throw him on the bed. They both wanted it. It was going to happen any day now. So why was he waiting? He bashed his head against the shower wall in frustration. Why was he torturing himself and Sasuke by dragging this out? He had made his decision, and he had told Sasuke that. They had resolved everything as much as it would be possible to do. So what was he waiting for? For Sasuke to invent a fucking time machine and go back and undo it all? It was so stupid. He was being stupid. Again.
He went to bed and lay there awake for hours, trying to understand himself. And he realized that the only thing that was holding him back was fear. Fear that once he slept with Sasuke, he would somehow cease to exist. That he'd once again just be absorbed into Sasuke's incredible aura and drown in his obsession for him like he had before. And the only way to know for sure that he was strong enough to keep himself whole this time around was to risk it again with Sasuke. There would be no magical answer or signal letting him know it was safe. It wasn't a comforting thought.
. . . .
That Friday, they had a morning meeting with a hedge fund owner from New York. Sasuke had been trying to create a retirement fund for their employees, and had looked into different financial vehicles to see what the best options were.
As soon as Naruto saw the guy from New York, he hated him. He was older, his face smooth and shiny from too many Botox treatments. His hair was dyed and styled, his nails buffed and manicured. He was slightly overweight, but tried to cover it up with his expensively tailored suit. But the thing that had set Naruto off against the guy was the arrogance that just oozed from him. It came out in both his expression and in his tone of voice.
At first, Sasuke had been amused. The man clearly had not done his research in knowing who Sasuke was, assuming he was just your average young business man with a medium sized company under his belt. He had no idea that Sasuke had actually spent three years running one of the largest business conglomerates in Japan, and was one of the top ten richest men in Japan as well.
At first, the man had addressed himself mostly to Naruto, for some reason assuming that Naruto was the one in charge. Once Sasuke asked a few basic questions, though, he had quickly dismissed Naruto and focused more on Sasuke. But he largely brushed off the questions, instead moving into full sales pitch mode trying to convince them why they should put all their money with him.
Naruto could see Sasuke getting slightly annoyed, and was glad. He hoped he kicked this guy out of their office before he wasted any more time.
The man was well launched into his sales spiel when Sasuke cut him off. "Look, I understand your projected growth model. But what are the underlying risks in your portfolio?"
The man gave Sasuke a condescending look. "Well, it's a very complicated strategy. I wouldn't expect someone of your background to be able to understand it."
Naruto almost grinned. Oh, shit. That guy is so fucking dead.
Sasuke smiled slowly, more than a hint of malice lighting up his onyx eyes. He was going to enjoy this. "Well then. Why don't you try to explain it to me. For example, what are your overall liquidity ratios, and do you still use the bond market to mitigate volatility risks, or have you created alternative hedging strategies?"
Naruto couldn't understand anything Sasuke was saying. He just sat back and watched him take the Wall Street man apart piece by piece until the man had been reduced to a stuttering, shaking mess. At the end, the man apologized and almost ran from the room.
Naruto had forgotten how unbelievably hot it was when Sasuke went into full decimation mode. Sasuke just looked over at him and smirked, then headed out of the meeting room to his office. Naruto had to wait a moment before standing up, or he would have revealed to the entire office exactly what he thought about watching his business partner in action.
Naruto walked over to Sasuke's office, aware his brain had basically shut down but completely not caring at this point. He was oblivious to the astute gaze of Shikamaru who had noticed Naruto's expression in the meeting earlier. Naruto also missed the man's wicked grin as he watched Naruto walk purposefully into Sasuke's office and close the door. Shikamaru walked over to Kiba's office. He had a bet to collect on.
Sasuke turned to look over his shoulder as Naruto walked into his office, then went back to searching through the filing cabinet for the document he needed, his back to the blond. It was getting harder and harder for him to concentrate whenever Naruto was around, but he was going to see this through.
"Can I help you?" He asked Naruto, his voice sounding a bit annoyed.
He heard the distinct sound of the lock of his office door being turned. Just that single sound, so small, and his entire body absolutely seized with anticipation.
FuckinggodYES, Sasuke had to rest his hands on the edges of the cabinet to keep them from shaking.
"Well, are you going to tell me what you need, or am I supposed to just guess," Sasuke's voice almost succeeded in sounding bored and annoyed.
He heard the soft chuckle from just behind his ear, and almost came when Naruto's breath brushed against the back of his neck, and a tan hand reached around to find Sasuke's already throbbing arousal that had sprung to life at the sound of the door being locked.
"I give in," Naruto said huskily.
to be continued
So, yeah... HARD yaoi ahead. Like seriously. Yes, I could have dragged this out with 500 reasons and interruptions keeping them apart, but that would just be annoying.
Also, for those of you who were also reading 'Nice Guys Finish Dead Last' aff.org took it down due to a complaint from a reader about reviews. I will continue to post it on ff.net if you wish to still follow it. It's a little funny, since the whole reason I started posting here was I thought my stories would be taken down on ff.net due to mature content, but now I understand why so many authors don't use this site.
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Thin Line Between Love and Hate - COMPLETE