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Criminal	By : laurenloogie Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1431 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-massacre
- 2-ruthless
- 3-tsukiyomi
- 4-obvious
- 5-barracks
- 6-bind
- 7-luck
- 8-heat
- 9-break
- 10-grief
- 11-thin
- 12-creep
- 13-switch
- 14-rant
- 15-battles
- 16-capture
- 17-undisclosed
- 18-drugs
- 19-snake
- 20-infiltration
- 21-color
- 22-escape
- 23-used
- 24-possession
- 25-cold
- 26-trap
- 6
- 7
- 8
It took Deidara a long time to finally stop crying - he cried while he put his pants back on, he cried as he re-buttoned his jacket, and then he drew his knees up to his chest and cried some more, sniffling into the folds of his sleeve. By the time he finally stopped, his sleeve was soaked with tears and his eyes were irritated and puffy. He felt like a pussy for being so emotional... but on the other hand, nothing like this had ever happened to him before. He didn't even know what to call it - was getting jerked off against your will considered rape? Trying to put words to the way it had felt was frustrating and upsetting.
He looked over at Hiruko's empty shell, half-hidden in the shadows. The puppet's head rested in the dirt and its glaring eyes stared off into nowhere... the ugly thing almost looked sad. Sasori had never abandonned any of his puppets out in the open before - it just proved how flustered the redhead had been when he'd taken off.
Deidara cursed softly, his mind a mess. The whole shitty scenario had been like a nightmare - fleeting, terrifying, and utterly nonsensical. Yet the most confusing part had been at the end, when Sasori had decided to stop. After what had happened, it was hard to fathom that the puppetmaster had even an ounce of humanity in him, but it was undeniable that he had felt something. Pity? Guilt? Or maybe the asshole was just turned off by crying.
Whatever the reason, Deidara's ass had somehow been spared from getting fucked. He supposed he should be relieved.
The blonde stayed up for quite some time, peering edgily into the forest's shadows for Sasori's slight form... but the puppetmaster didn't come back. Finally, he was too tired to keep his eyes open so he shoved one hand into a pouch of clay as a precaution and quickly fell asleep.
* * *
After a night of fitful, uneasy sleep, he woke up to almost the exact same scene he had fallen asleep to. Hiroko was still in the same spot, but now the puppet was glaring at him and swishing its scorpion-like tail from side to side. So Sasori finally came back, he noted, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He wondered briefly what a normal person's reaction would be upon waking up to such a sight. They'd probably run screaming in terror. But Deidara merely shifted his hand in his pouch of clay, chewing some up in his palm.
"It's late," Sasori stated. "Let's go."
Oh, great, Deidara thought, sighing and rising to his feet. He's trying to pretend like nothing happened. His hand spat out the clay, which he quickly molded into a handful of C1 bombs. Scowling, he chucked them at the puppetmaster and detonated them. When the smoke dissipated, Hiroko's boulder-like bulk was gone, a lump of sand in its place. Just as he'd expected, the puppet had been a clone... he knew Sasori's tactics like the back of his hand. After all, the two had sparred more times than he could count.
He had only fought Sasori with the intent to kill once, when they had first become partners. After nearly an hour, the fight had ended up in a stalemate. Deidara's jutsu was long-range, and Sasori's jutsu merely depended on which of his human puppets he decided to deploy. In the end, they had both simply run out of chakra... exhausted and spent, they had come to somewhat of a silent understanding that they were equally strong. On the other hand, Deidara had managed to successfully destroy a portion of the puppetmaster's collection. It gave him a smug satisfaction to know that was the reason why Sasori had declined their last mission... his partner was inconsolably annoyed when he didn't have a certain number of human puppets. How many did he have now? 250?
"Deidara, stop wasting time," Sasori growled. Deidara looked up to find the redhead in his true form, perched on a treebranch. "We're supposed to kill the marks at a specific time and place..." the puppetmaster stated. "So knock it off. We're already behind schedule."
Deidara cursed under his breath, his hand poised over his pouch of clay. "Don't you have anything else to say?" he snarled.
Sasori didn't move from his spot on the treelimb. "What do you want me say?" he asked, his unwavering grey eyes locked on the blonde's. "That I'm sorry for jerking you off?"
Deidara's face felt hot with anger. "Yes!" he yelled. "You practically raped me!"
Sasori shrugged. "All I did was give you an orgasm," he said.
"You should have just left me the hell alone," Deidara snarled. He spit at the redhead even though he was too far away to hit.
Sasori's eyes narrowed slightly. "I did leave you alone," he said. "I've been leaving you alone ever since we became partners." He sighed and brushed his hair out of his eyes, a sign that he was frustrated. "And this is what I get." Scowling, he gestured toward the blonde. "You go off and fuck... Kisame..."
"Don't turn this around on me," Deidara hissed. "You've been treating me like a nuisance ever since we met! How was I supposed to know you were a jealous maniac?"
"I've treated you with nothing but respect," Sasori snapped. "I've been a perfect gentleman this entire time! It's not my fault you pushed me over the edge."
"What?!" Deidara exclaimed. He briefly thought of how Kisame had said the same thing... apparently no one in the Akatsuki knew what the word 'gentleman' meant. "You've been an asshole this entire time," he huffed.
"I've wanted to fuck you since the moment I laid eyes on you," Sasori bluntly stated. His pale, doll-like face did nothing to emphasize the confession. "And I'm not the only one. Everyone in the Akatsuki wants a piece of you."
Deidara knew he was blushing... his face felt like it was on fire. "What the hell are you talking about?" he stammered.
"Wow, you're even more naive than you look," Sasori sneered. "Haven't you noticed the way everyone stares at you in the meetings? Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu... even Pain."
"You're being paranoid," Deidara stated, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. "In those meetings, there's nothing to do but stare at eachother." He had only been linked to the Gedo statue recently... he still couldn't get over the way everyone materialized as a hypnotizing, rainbow hologram. Grudgingly, he admitted to himself that his comrades' eyes were the last thing he noticed. "You're fucking paranoid," he repeated sourly.
"I've been practically fighting them off since you joined," Sasori replied. "If it wasn't for me, you'd have been raped so many times by now you wouldn't even know which way was up."
Deidara crossed his arms, glaring up at his partner. "You are so full of shit," he growled. "Don't make yourself out to be the hero here. If you were so bent on defending me, you wouldn't have fuckin' molested me." He cursed under his breath, enraged. "I'm not leaving here until you apologize," he stated.
Sasori finally jumped down from the tree, landing silently a few feet away. "Fine," he said. "I apologize." Nothing about the statement sounded sincere. "And the next time someone wants to rape you, I'll tell them to go right ahead."
"I can take care of myself," Deidara muttered.
A smirk slid over Sasori's lips. "Sure you can," he sneered. He began to walk off in the direction they were supposed to go. "Or maybe Kisame will magically appear to defend you." He laughed outloud, a sound Deidara wasn't sure he'd ever heard the puppetmaster make.
"Screw you, Sasori," he hissed, reluctantly following the redhead.
"That's a bad choice of words," Sasori mused.
* * *
It took about four days for Kisame and Itachi to reach their destination in the Land of Earth. The terrain had become more and more sparse until finally there was nothing surrounding them but rock formations and an occasional scraggling plant. The swordsman couldn't begin to fathom why the hell anyone would want to live out here.
Itachi was looking around, a scroll unfurled in his hands. "According to this intel, Kurotsuchi and Akatsuchi are training nearby," he stated. "I guess it's an Iwa tradition to train in the elements. That's lucky for us... because getting inside the village boundaries would be nearly impossible."
"Yeah," Kisame muttered. "Lucky."
Itachi sighed and shot the swordsman a weary look. "Could you possibly care any less about this mission?" he said.
"Nope," Kisame dryly responded. "You know I hate spying. Do you really think I'm just going to suddenly change my mind after all these years?"
Itachi sighed again and shrugged. "It would be nice," he said. "You've been a dick ever since we left."
"Well... too bad," Kisame growled. He shifted Samehada on his back, scowling. "Come on, let's get this shit over with." The sword had been increasingly restless as they walked, letting him know there was a considerable amount of chakra nearby. "They're that way," he stated, pointing east toward a rock formation a few miles away. He started walking in said direction but Itachi stopped him with a glare.
"We wait for nightfall," his partner said. "They're not sensory types... but they're also not blind."
Kisame took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Motherfucker," he sighed.
"Me or the mission?" Itachi growled.
Kisame didn't respond, afraid of what he might say.
* * *
They waited in a small cave, sipping on their waning supply of water and staring dully out at the barren scenery until the sun finally sank below the horizon. Once the darkness was sufficient to cloak their movements, they approached their targets as little more than flickers against the night sky, sliding from shadow to shadow with a practiced ease that surpassed even the Black Ops. As much as Kisame hated spying, there was a reason he and Itachi always got these assignments - they were good at it.
When they were in closer, they turned to hand signals, as even a whisper could carry if the wind was blowing just right. Their movements were absolutely silent as they climbed a steep rockface and peered cautiously over the summit. There they are, Kisame signaled, rather unnecessarily. Kurotsuchi and Akatsuchi were sitting around a small fire in the canyon, chatting away and sharing a bottle of sake. Usually they had to read lips from such a distance - Itachi's sharingan made him an expert and Kisame was also fairly proficient - but the cliff faces served as an ampitheatre to their already loud, drunken voices.
Training, my ass... Kisame mused. These two obviously lied to get out of the village and party. The situation couldn't have possibly been any luckier for a spy. People said shit they were supposed to keep secret when they were drunk, not to mention the fact that their senses were dulled. Two experts in steath hiding in the shadows had virtually no chance of being caught.
A grin slid over Kisame's lips. As much as he hated spying, he couldn't deny that this was a rare opportunity. It might even get interesting, he thought, reflecting on what Deidara had told him. He laid himself down amongst the rocks and perked up his ears, tuning in to the conversation.
"...Such a drag," Kurotsuchi was saying. The girl was slender, almost androgenous, with large, slanted eyes similar to Deidara's and a boyish, cropped haircut. I can see why Deidara got with her, Kisame admitted. If he hadn't known from the intel that she was female, he might have mistaken her for an effeminate man.
"It's not so bad," Akatsuchi replied. This guy's huge, Kisame marveled, staring at the man's unnatural bulk and strange, puffy features. His blithe expression reminded the swordsman of an infant. Is he retarded? he wondered.
"Stop acting so happy," Kurotsuchi huffed, taking a slam of sake. "It's been miserable ever since that day! The old fart is even grumpier than before, the explosion corps suck, and I..." She trailed off listlessly, staring into the fire.
The explosion corps? Kisame brooded. Wasn't that...
"I know it's hard," Akatsuchi said. "But... uh... shit happens, you know?" He reached for the bottle but Kurotsuchi scowled and clutched it possessively to her breast.
"Shit happens?" she snapped. She took another messy slam of sake, spilling some of it down her chin. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" she seethed, nearly screaming. "I was gonna marry that bastard some day!! DEIDARA, YOU PRICK!!!!!" Her voice echoed off the cliff walls, so loud it almost could have caused a cave-in.
Kisame grimaced, his ears ringing. Wow, Deidara broke a girl's heart, he mused. Doesn't this bitch know he's gay? But as much as he was enjoying the conversation, he was a little disappointed. The mission was to gather important information.
Akatsuchi finally managed to pry to the bottle out Kurotsuchi's hands. "It just wasn't meant to be," he said simply. He took a sip and added, "You'll find the right man someday."
Kurotsuchi sighed dramatically. "Oh, sure," she muttered. "Maybe I'll find a man as pretty as Deidara who's not gay."
Oh, Kisame thought. Guess she knows after all.
"Gay and friggin' obsessed with some guy's stupid picture in a bingo book," she added bitterly.
Oh shit, Kisame fretted, his blood suddenly running cold. He bit his lip and narrowed his eyes. Stop talking, bitch, he thought frantically.
"Oh yah," Akatsuchi replied. "Didn't he steal it from a black-ops member? How do you even do that?"
I knew Deidara was lying about that, Kisame brooded. Come on, change the fucking topic...
"He probably sucked a dick to get it," Kurotsuchi snarled. "But remember? He ripped out the page and hung it on his wall. He kept saying 'someday I'm gonna fight that guy,'... but once in a while he'd slip up and confuse the word 'fight' with 'fuck'. Pathetic!"
"Yah, it was weird," Akatsuchi muttered. "What was the guy's name? All I remember was that his last name was some kind of food."
Oh, for crying out loud! Kisame panicked, his nails digging into his palms. Why the hell is this happening?!
"How can you forget it?" Kurotsuchi huffed. "The freak is infamous." She stared at her friend for a minute, apparently astonished by his stupidity, then leaned back on her hands and sighed. "The monster of the Hidden Mist? The tail-less biju?" she prodded. Met with Akatsuchi's bland stare, she cursed and shouted, "Kisame Hoshigaki, you dumbass!"
"Oh, right..." Akatsuchi chirped. "Dried persimmon..."
The swordsman had to bite his lip even harder to stop himself from swearing outloud. He hung his head, vehemently cursing his shitty luck. What are the chances? he lamented. Really... what are the fuckin' chances?! Reluctantly, he looked over to find Itachi glaring coldly at him. As much as he wanted to shrug and play dumb, he knew it wouldn't do any good - his partner could always tell when he was lying.
For a while they just glared at eachother, the conversation in the canyon fading to an echoing buzz. Itachi narrowed his eyes slightly, betraying his anger. 'Can you read my lips?' he mouthed.
'Of course,' Kisame silently responded.
'You're an asshole.' The last word was emphasized with as much expression as silence would allow.
Kisame rolled his eyes, embarrassed. 'We'll talk about this later,' he mouthed. For a second he had a difficult time pulling his eyes away from Itachi's - it wasn't a genjutsu... his partner's glare was just intense. Finally he managed to look away and refocus on the conversation.
"Well, you can't be mad at Deidara forever," Akatsuchi was saying. "He was just doing what he felt he had to do. He was miserable here."
"I don't know if 'miserable' is the right word," Kurotsuchi said. She was holding the bottle again - it appeared as though she wasn't very good at sharing its contents. "He was just... too crazy to fit in. Always ranting about the true meaning of art..."
"He was... is... a good artist," Akatsuchi added.
"Ha!" Kurotsuchi snorted. "You didn't see him after he learned that kinjutsu. Now his sculptures move around like living creatures and explode."
"Yeah, I know," Akatsuchi sighed. "You've told me that about a million times."
There was a long silence after that... the two just stared into the fire, reflecting. They both looked sad, like Deidara was a hole in their lives that they didn't know how to fill up. Kisame never would have imagined that the blonde had severed such strong bonds - he talked about Iwa like it was no more than a bad taste in his mouth.
Kurotsuchi took another slam of sake and swirled around the remainder in the bottle. "I just miss him," she murmured. "If only I could see him one more time..."
"You never know," Akatsuchi soothed. "He might show back up one of these days."
"If he does, gramps'll kill him," Kurotsuchi bluntly stated. She sighed and looked up at the sky, her gaze disconcertingly close to the two spies' hiding spot. "I just hope he's alright, wherever he is," she said. To Akatsuchi's visible dismay, she finished off the sake then held the bottle up. "Here's to you, Deidara!" she called out loudly. "Happy eighteenth birthday!"
Kisame's heart stopped and he bit his tongue in his shock. You've got to be kidding me, he fretted, his mind racing. That means he was only seventeen when we... Of all the terrible things he'd done in the past, screwing a minor had never been on the list. He'd thought Deidara was at least twenty... but then again he'd never asked. Being underage was something you were supposed to tell a guy beforehand, wasn't it?
When Kurotsuchi threw the bottle at the cliff, the sound of the glass breaking matched the shattering in Kisame's mind perfectly.
"Happy birthday, Deidara," Akatsuchi echoed. "I wonder if he even remembered it was his birthday..."
"Who knows," Kurotsuchi sighed. "He's probably too busy shark-hunting to be aware of much else. And anyway, we're celebrating a little late... his birthday was over a week ago."
Kisame rolled his eyes and clutched his forehead. So he was eighteen? he brooded, too miffed to be relieved. He wished these two idiots would talk more clearly... listening to this conversation had almost given him a heart-attack twice. Screw the mission... if there's any more surprises, I'm gonna kill them both, he thought crossly.
For the next half-hour or so, Kisame was too pissed off to pay close attention to the conversation. Not like it mattered... the few fragments he caught were 'Deidara this' and 'Deidara that.' Birthday celebration or not, these two seriously needed to get a life. The whole while, he could feel Itachi's furious presence at his side - even Samehada, who was used to the Uchiha's presence, was bristling defensively. When the conversation below finally shifted to something that sounded important, he sighed quietly in relief.
"...Just don't think it's necessary to hire them," Kurotsuchi was saying. She was laying on her back, her eyes half-closed. "Gramps always underestimates Iwa's strength."
"Not to mention it's wrong," Akatsuchi chimed in drowsily. "The Akatsuki are... bad guys."
Kurotsuchi laughed outloud, the sound sharp and harsh in the echoing cavern. "The Akatsuki are hired mercenaries, not bad guys," she stated. "You have to stop thinking in terms of good and evil. It's childish."
"Having a sense of right and wrong isn't childish," Akatsuchi repied sorely. "And the Akatsuki can't be trusted, regardless. I think it's a risky decision."
"Of course it is," Kurotsuchi sighed. "I agree with you. But gramps is smart... he wouldn't have made the offer if he thought it would endanger the village." She closed her eyes. "It's just... embarrassing, having to rely on shady organizations to do our dirty work."
"We should be killing off the Akatsuki, not giving them money," Akatsuchi growled.
"Yeah, yeah," Kurotsuchi murmured. "There you go again. You're not killing anyone, alright? Just let the old man do what he's gotta do..."
"He's going to regret it some day, just you wait," Akatsuchi huffed. When his friend didn't respond, he curiously leaned in closer. "Hey, Kuro..." he murmured. He gave her shoulder a poke - she cursed something incomprehensible and sluggishly batted his hand away. It was obvious she'd passed out. "Well, goodnight, I guess," he muttered. He laid himself down a respectable distance away and followed her example, quickly falling asleep by the warmth of the fire.
Kisame shivered and cursed under his breath. The night air had become bitterly cold and the wind was cutting through to his bones. He looked over at Itachi, who was clamping his mouth shut so his teeth wouldn't chatter. Let's go, he signaled. Itachi's response was an icy glare... but when the swordsman began to descend the steep cliff, he followed closely behind.
They retreated to the same cave they'd been hiding out in earlier, moving quickly to fight off the cold. Once they were finally out of the wind, they spent a while shivering miserably and glaring at eachother before putting forth the effort of an argument. It was the wrong time of year for a cold snap like this but neither man was surprised - they always had bad luck on spying missions, in one form or another.
"Why did you lie to me?" Itachi's voice cut sharply through the cold, startling the swordsman from a chain of dreary thoughts.
"Damnit..." Kisame sighed. He didn't want to have this conversation. "I didn't lie to you. I just failed to mention it." He cursed and removed Samehada from his back, resting it across his legs. "And what exactly am I confessing to anyway? Just because Deidara has a weird obsession with me doesn't mean anything happened."
"But it did," Itachi stated, his red eyes unwavering. "You two fucked. It's written all over your face."
"Fine," Kisame growled. "You got me. I fucked Deidara, okay? I was trying to keep it a secret but obviously the world is working against me." He leaned back against the cave wall and took a deep breath, trying not to get angry. His hands absently stroked Samehada through its binds - the sword was bristling with anxiety.
"You're a fuckin' hypocrite," Itachi snarled. It was rare for the Uchiha to curse.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Kisame muttered, shifting uncomfortably. He wanted to be anywhere but here.
"Don't play stupid," Itachi growled, narrowing his eyes. "All those years ago, when we had that fight-"
"Oh, when you mind-fucked me for picking on you?!" Kisame snapped. "Don't even bring that bullshit up, Itachi!" Suddenly he was furious - the rage set off in his mind like a time bomb. Spikes violently burst through Samehada's binding as the weapon reacted to his turbulent chakra. "We agreed not to talk about it, remember?" he seethed through clenched teeth.
Itachi sighed but he didn't divert his glare. "All those years ago..." he said, "...you were making fun of me because I'm gay." His eyes burned through the darkness like two hot coals. "And now I find out that you..." He trailed off, apparently too angry to finish.
Kisame blinked, trying to make sense of what his partner had just said. "You... think I was picking on you because..." he started. His blood was boiling and his mind felt like it was on fire. "You cut my dick off in your Tsukiyomi because..." He clutched his head in his hand, trying desperately to cling onto his waning shreds of self-control. "...Because of a misunderstanding?!"
It was over. He was seeing red.
His vision was a blur as he lunged at Itachi, his jagged teeth bared in a feral snarl. He had no control over his body as he pinned the younger man beneath him and punched him, hard, in the face. "You bastard!" he heard himself saying, over and over. Itachi was so shocked that he suffered several more blows before finally capturing the swordsman's fist in both hands, using all his might to slow it to a halt. Kisame cursed profanely, blindly trying to force his fist down to its target.
"Stop it, Kisame," Itachi panted, struggling against the swordsman's superior strength. Finally he managed to divert the punch - Kisame's fist hit the cave floor next to the younger man's head, cracking the stone with the impact. The raw pain jolted him out of his stupor... his vision cleared as he watched his own blood seep from his busted knuckles into the stone's spiderweb cracks.
"Damnit," he heaved breathlessly. He shook his head and blinked a few times as his sanity reluctantly returned. Itachi's face was a mess... blood was trickling steadily out of his mouth and nose, and the corner of his left eye was as crimson as his sharingan. Dizzily, he looked to the side and saw Samehada bristling in an aggressive coil with its teeth bared - the sword was ready to kill on command. He cursed, taking slow, deep breaths to slow his racing heartbeat.
Itachi turned his head and spit out a mess of blood - a shattered piece of tooth came out with it. When he looked back up at the swordsman, there was a wet sheen on his eyes. Time seemed to freeze as the two just stared at eachother, too embroiled in their own thoughts to find words.
"Kisame..." Itachi said haltingly. A tear slid down his cheek when he finally blinked.
"I'm sorry," Kisame muttered, averting his eyes. He had never seen Itachi shed a tear that wasn't blood. Guilt replaced his rage, making him cringe. "I didn't mean to-"
"Stop," Itachi murmured. Tentatively, he reached up and touched the swordsman's face, his fingers running lightly over the hard planes of his jawline.
"What are you doing?" Kisame stammered, his face hot. He tried to pull away but Itachi grabbed his arm, holding him in place.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," Itachi said, his voice barely above a whisper. His fingers crept under the swordsman's headband, gently sliding it off - it landed with a clang on the stone floor.
Kisame's mouth opened then shut as he floundered for words. "You're bleeding," he finally stated, too shocked to form anything more complex in his mind. He grabbed a piece of Samehada's shredded binding and mechanically wiped the blood off his partner's face, trying to ignore the slender fingers that were now running languidly through his hair. When he discarded the rag, Itachi was blushing fiercely and biting his lip - he looked incredibly vulnerable, as if he might shatter like glass.
"Kisame... I'm so sorry," Itachi breathed. He softly pulled the swordsman's hair, drawing him in closer. Kisame's mind was a whirlwind of panic and confusion, every ounce of his willpower telling him to resist, but his body was compliant, almost eager, as their lips met.

*AUTHOR'S NOTE* Hmm... Kisame has some shitty luck in this chapter. Sorry about the lack of lemon but it's obviously about to happen, haha. Oh man... it's 4am... I gotta get some rest.
- 6
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