Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

What Do You See?	By : Snowway32 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2093 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters there in. No money is made from this

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
I want to thank all the lovely reviews I recieved; I was so happy when I woke up on my birthday to find such lovely reviews from you guys. I really appreciate that you enjoy this story; I really love writting it as it had a close place to my own heart.
I know some of it is still a bit confusing with Minato being a part of Naruto's soul; that'll be explained later in more detail. And as for Minato's tendancies to self harm, that will also be explain but let's just say that the Yondaime suffered much of the same mental stability as Naruto and often blamed himself for things and his confidence was only a farce. Where deep down he was also hurting very much as people abused his power to gain their own advantages.
Anyways I hope that answers some of the questions; I don't want to give a way too much. Onto the next chapter; please enjoy.
Jiraiya will be making his appearance hopefully soon...
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Naruto awoke suddenly; a scream dying on his lips as his nightmare came to an abrupt end. One he had been waddling through for hours on end. Or at least that was what it felt like. He could feel his cheeks wet with tears and his breath panting with hyperventilation. He shivered as the cold night air brushed against his flushed skin; he felt uncomfortably warm even in the out doors. He slowly stood up; blue eyes scanning the area to make sure his team mates had not been woken by his whimpering and violent tossing and turning. Biting his lip he left Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura asleep by the fire as he headed for the stream close to their camp.

He shivered as he undressed; his clothes all in a neat pile next to him as he wadded into the stream. The water was cold but he barely noticed; his mind was scattered and his emotions were not fairing any better. He didn't get along with the new Hokage but she was a connection to Jiraiya so he respected it and she had sent their team on a joint B-rank mission. It had been a week since she had been instated and slowly but surely started giving Konoha a new hope but for Naruto it felt as if he had lost a part of his heart to Jiraiya who had disappeared.

'Tsunade-sama; please tell me where Jiraiya went.' Naruto's pleading voice of a few days ago invaded his strained mind. She had looked at him with something akin to pity before giving him a vague answer.

'He's neither here nor there gaki. It's best you forget about him Naruto; Jiraiya likes to be alone it saves him from feeling the pain from his failures; regardless of what it does to others. I'm sorry, but not even I as his former teammate know where he is nor when he will be coming back.' Those few words had hurt and Naruto didn't want to believe it but deep down the seeds of doubt had been planted and he started asking himself 'Was it really my fault? What did I do wrong?' then there was the ever present self loathing: 'It's your fault he left, monster. You don't deserve to be cared about.'

The day his new rank of Chuunin had been celebrated had lost its happy influence in his life; it felt like years ago that he had shared a few happy moments with Kakashi and Iruka-sensei. He shivered as the wind picked up around him and dried cold water droplets against his skin. He dipped his head underneath the water to wet his hair; the cold stinging at his eyes. He stared at his kunai longingly but pushed it aside. The previous time he had wielded it against his skin had been a mere week earlier and the deep cuts had now thinned to angry white lines but were still there. He couldn't risk it; especially not with Kakashi's advanced senses. So he settled for ice cold water that numbed his emotional pain a bit.

He was now fully dressed in his green cargo pants, black turtleneck, flack jacket and his white cloak. It fluttered in the wind and the only indication that he had spent a long time in the cold water was the constant shivering of his body and his wet hair plastered all over his hitai-ate. Droplets obscuring his vision as he tried to adjust to the change in his body temperature and his dulled emotions.

~

The sun had reached its peak at midday and Naruto felt uncomfortably hot when every one of his teammates and even his team leader were complaining about the sudden cold weather. He frowned; not understanding what was happening. Even though he was hot, he was shivering as well. He could see a blush settling over his nose and willed it away but it refused to move. Marking his skin red with the heat he was feeling over his skin and making his head spin lightly.

"Naruto? We're heading out again soon." Kakashi-sensei's voice drew his attention as Naruto stared at his half eaten onigiri; his stomach was protesting so with a nod towards his sensei he wrapped it up and placed it back into his backpack. Not noticing three concerned stares following his every movement. It was one thing getting used to a quiet and subdued Naruto but one that didn't finish his lunch was cause for great concern.

"Let's get going Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said softly as he stood up; stumbling a bit before settling on his feet. It was an odd sensation that was crawling up his body; felling hot and cold at the same time and he couldn't stop himself from shivering. Luckily none of his teammates had noticed his state. They were nearing the completion of their mission and the last of the group of missing nin were setting up camp about six kilometres from them. Pakkun had tracked the last of the group and now they were setting up for an ambush. He turned towards his team leader and gave small nod but halted Kakashi-sensei from taking to the trees by a hand on his wrist.

"Wait Kakashi-sensei! Take this." Naruto said quietly as he reached into his kunai pouch as he pulled out a kunai; it was extremely sharp and around its handle was a parchment with intricate kanji letters and the beginnings of a space and time seal. He handed it to his sensei who looked at him with confusion.

"I'll be able to find you anywhere and anytime when we are separated." Naruto said simply before taking to the trees; Sasuke behind him and Sakura following only Kakashi-sensei stood there for a few seconds before taking off after his students. Naruto's specialized kunai resting in the breast pocket of his jounin vest.

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Kakashi was concerned as he watched Naruto's form ahead of him; Naruto had to tone down his incredible speed to allow the others to keep up with him but Kakashi could see that something was wrong with the usually happy and confident blond. He could see Naruto's chest rise and fall erratically as if he was struggling to breathe and his flushed face told him that Naruto was definitely unwell. He had been noticing Naruto's deviated state since they had woken at five thirty and the blonde teen had come from the direction of the stream; hair clinging to his hitai-ate as he shivered in the cold wind. Kakashi was frightened and asked what was wrong only to receive a reassuring smile and Naruto's comforting words that he would be fine. Only now did he regret not pushing his concern further as he could clearly see the effects of a high fever working its way through Naruto's system.

"Oi! Dobe! What's the matter with you? You can barely even keep up today; a Chuunin and suffering and lagging behind. I should have known; you really are useless." Kakashi's attention was drawn towards his two students as Sasuke taunted the Chuunin and winced; those words were unnecessary and hurtful. He sighed; the Uchiha's jealousy had been poking its head far too often and during this mission he had seen how Sasuke taunted Naruto with his inferiority. It wouldn't be the first time that he had to pry the two apart from a violent confrontation. He was just about ready to jump in to pull the two apart when to his utmost concern he saw Naruto not retaliating; only taking the words upon himself and allowing his shoulders to slump under their terrifying weight.

"Sasuke! That was unnecessary and you know it." His voice was stern and brooked no place for a reply as he increased his speed and moved next to Naruto; he could see the pain in those blue eyes and winced. How was he going to fix this?

"Naruto I..."

"The targets are five hundred metres ahead; Kakashi-sensei. Two chakra signatures appear to be rested and in sleep whilst the other two are on patrol. I suggest splitting up; I'll go with Sakura and you go with Sasuke." Naruto said with a finality in his tone which commanded attention and obedience; Kakashi knew that only Minato had the ability to do that with such a gentle voice and now Naruto did it too. That small fact also reminded him that he needed to have a serious talk with his student.

"Right; but Naruto. You have a fever; we are going to finish this in no less than two minutes and then head back to Konoha where me and you are going to have a long talk." Kakashi warned; letting his student know that he had not escaped his teachers affections or concern. Naruto only gave a meek nod as he held up his hand and signalled for Sakura to follow him and disappeared in a different direction.

~

The mission had gone off without a hitch and now their team was heading back to Konoha; it would take them at least a full day to reach the village gates at their current speed. Naruto winced as he landed on the ground; a clearing chosen for their camp and started setting up the camp. He wasn't even paying attention to what was going on around him. His head was pounding and he felt sick; feeling hot as his skin was now damp with a sheen of cold sweat. He panted lightly as he started the fire and immediately moved away from the warm heat; it was too much. His world was tilting on its axis as colours swam together. Naruto shook his head as he sank to the cool earth beneath him; pressing his cheek against the soft texture. Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi had left to collect food and set the traps and he was left alone in the clearing to finish setting up camp.

His head was hazy and felt as if it was filled with cotton; his mouth was dry and he was feeling hot. He heard voices in the distance; it wasn't anyone he knew was with him on the mission but it was voices he recognized. It was like being aware of his surroundings in a nightmare and still being in a wakeful state. He heard screams as his vision painted pictures of horrors in front of his eyes; he shivered violently as he knelt forward and vomited the contents of his stomach onto the grassy earth below him. He tried to stand only to find his strength drained from him. It was as if all the bloodied images he saw around him was his own blood and he was slowly bleeding out. His vision swam out of focus as the flickering of the fire danced in the slight wind.

'Naruto why did you kill me?' Naruto wanted to scream that he didn't but deep down he knew it was his fault. Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina had been killed because of him and it hurt. The newly made wound bleeding harshly; his heart was painfully tight in his chest as he struggled to take even one ragged breath.

"'M s'rry." Naruto whispered brokenly and curled tightly in on himself; seeking to hide his sudden vulnerable state. He clenched his eyes shut in hopes of making the horrifying images fade from his vision only it didn't matter as Sasuke's words from earlier that day only added to his nightmare.

'I should have known; you really are useless.' Naruto screamed; a harsh and desperate sound as a sob lodged itself in his throat. He was hurting and no matter how much he called out for his father and even the demon fox; no one answered his desperate cries.

'Jiraiya likes to be alone' No; his mind screamed at him. It's you he hates! You stole his precious student by being born. He didn't notice as Kyuubi's chakra flooded through him in a warm rush and his blue eyes slitted and his nails lengthened and sharpened. Without thought he pushed up his sleeves and raked nails over his skin; hazy blue eyes not even noticing when it dug into his flesh and brought heavy amounts of blood to the surface. His hand was now stained red but he barely noticed so deep was he in a feverish haze and a living nightmare. The accusations never stopped and the feeling of turmoiled emotions only increased as his heart stuttered in his chest.

~

Kakashi stared down at his student now bound to a tree by chakra wire and shuriken. He could see the deep seated hatred reflected in emotionless black eyes. He gave a wary sigh as he squatted in front of Sasuke.

"You need to reign in your emotions Sasuke; your hatred is effecting this team in more ways than I can control. Your superiority complex is injuring your closest friends and comrades; grow up. I've seen thousands of guys just like you and they all wanted revenge and when they finally got it; it was worthless. Your quest is worthless and I'm pleading with you to at least open your eyes and see what your actions are doing to those close to you. " Kakashi huffed as he turned his back on his student; leaving him tied to the tree and at Sasuke's indigent shout he merely waved a hand over his shoulder.

"Stay there and cool off for a bit I'm going to collect some firewood." His progress was stopped however when heard Sakura moving towards their location at a fast pace; her ragged breaths and small sobs spelled trouble. He tensed as she flew into the area surrounding them; looking haggard and greatly distressed.

"Kakashi-sensei! Naruto! He's bleeding and screaming in pain." She said frantically and Kakashi felt his heart freeze; Naruto had been hurt? His senses immediately searching for the perpetrators but no foreign chakra invaded his senses; only Naruto's erratically spiking chakra. He shivered as a pit of dread settled in his stomach.

"Sakura; untie Sasuke. Meet me back at camp in a few minutes." He ordered as he took to the trees. His movements fast as he desperately tried to reach his Naruto in time; he was needed. Anger boiled in his veins as he berated himself; he should have known something was wrong the moment Naruto's chakra started flaring but he had been so busy trying to convince Sasuke that what he was doing was wrong.

His nose picked up the scent of smoke; so the fire had been started but the unmistakable scent of blood also alerted his senses to Naruto's state. He moved forward; preparing himself for battle only to stop dead in his tracks. His heart lodged itself in his chest as a bout of panic settled over his body. He could see Naruto curled in on himself tightly; blood running down his arms and plastered over his hair; bloodied hands pulling desperately at blond hair. He reacted; moving as fast as he could and kneeled by Naruto's side. He couldn't smell any scent of the enemy but only Naruto's scent and the heavy scent of Naruto's blood. He immediately pulled Naruto's hands from his hair as he gripped them at the wrists and unfurled Naruto's body.

"Oi! Naruto! What happened?" He asked frantically as his eye analyzed every little detail it could; Naruto's mouth was parted and panting breaths spilled from them, his face was flushed but the worst was those blue eyes. They were clouded in pain and dazed; not seeing anything but the nightmares that danced before his eyes. He knew those symptoms and with careful hands he lifted Naruto's hitai-ate from his forehead and laid his gloved hand over the newly exposed flesh.

"Fuck!" He cursed loudly as even through the material of his glove; Naruto's forehead scolded his palm. Naruto's fever was uncommonly high and he had to do something to break it. Carefully he peeled Naruto's chuunin vest from his shoulders and allowed the material to fall to the ground; with the heavy garment now on the floor he could see the rapid rising and falling of Naruto's chest. He reached into his weapons pouch and pulled out a roll of bandages and allowed his eye to finally observe the wounds on Naruto's arms. He could see the wounds were already half healed with Kyuubi's power but that didn't explain why he got sick. He shook his head and bandaged the wound; his grey eyes missing several neat white lines on Naruto's wrists.

"We need to cool you down; Naruto." He said softly as he picked Naruto in his arms and headed for the closest water source. He continued to speak to his student softly as he trekked through the trees with his precious burden in his arms. He could feel Sasuke and Sakura's chakra signatures following him but ignored them as he finally reached his destination. He could feel Naruto's shivering in his arms as he cooed in concern to his student; a light blush dusting his cheeks in embarrassment. He was so screwed if his secret was revealed; the fact that he was secretly a very caring and considerate person and only put up an aloof front when in reality he cared for his students very much.

"What's going on Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura's voice brought him back from his task as he was busy undressing Naruto from his shirt. He looked up and with a cold commanding voice told her to head back to camp to bring their things here.

"Naruto's got a severe fever and we need to be close to the water source for the rest of the night. Please make sure to get everything and bring it here; Sasuke I need you to fill this." Kakashi said as he handed his empty canteen to his dark haired student; he saw the flash of concern in dark eyes and gave a reassuring smile.

"He'll pull through Sasuke; I'm certain he will." He said encouragingly before shooing his two students away. Turning his attention towards the blond nestled in his lap; half dressed and covered in a sheen of sweat. If only it had been a different situation; he may have enjoyed the sight but for now he pushed his perverted thoughts into the back of his mind. So caught up was he in his thoughts that he didn't notice when he had finally finished undressing Naruto. With a small sigh he pulled his mask and shirt from his body and walked into the water; Naruto once again held against his chest.

"Nggh." Naruto's quiet whimper drifted to his ear and he hushed Naruto softly as he carefully sat on the bottom of the small stream so that water came to his chest and pulled Naruto into his lap. His lax head fell against Kakashi's shoulder and blonde hair obscured his face from Sasuke's view just as the dark haired shinobi came into his line of sight. He ignored the stare and turned his attention to Naruto who was still shivering and moaning in his fevered state.

"Hush; Naruto. I know the water is cold but it'll help you, I promise. Come back to me, Naruto. Don't carry your nightmares all on your own." Kakashi said softly as he soothed Naruto and tried to coax Naruto back to reality where he was. His free hand that did not hold Naruto's catatonic body against his cupped water and allowed the water to run over Naruto's chest and shoulders.

"That's it; take deep breaths and feel the soothing cold water." He encouraged softly as he wet Naruto's hair as well. He didn't know how long he was sat in the water and waited for Naruto's fever to dim but he was distinctly aware that his other two students had set up camp and the glow of the orange fire with shimmering in the corner of his eye.

"M's s'rry; don't leave J'raiya-s'nsei." Kakashi felt his heart stutter at those words; it was a silent plea that reverberated through Naruto. A desperate apology to keep holding onto the bond that he and the older Sannin shared. He shifted his weight as he placed a hand on Naruto's forehead; a small sigh of relief washing through him. The fever seemed to have calmed considerably.

"Let's get out of this cold water ne? We don't want you to get worse." Bleary blue eyes stared at him in confusion and he only smiled softly before carrying Naruto out of the stream.

"When you get better we'll get Jiraiya-sama to come back and share some time with you okay?" He soothed as he dried Naruto and carefully redressed him and placed him in his bedroll that Sakura had carefully rolled out.

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Naruto was drifting in darkness as he tried to make sense of the blurred sounds around him. He had stopped shivering a while ago and the incredible heat had faded from his body; he still felt stifled and shifted. He could feel the soft sheets of a bedroll beneath him but it wasn't his; the scent didn't belong to him. In his wakeful state he could hear the soft crackle of fire and hear his team leader taking to his other teammates only he couldn't make out any words. He tried to turn on his side away from the heat of fire but the sudden movement caused his mind to spin in a severe wave of dizziness.

A small moan escaped his lips but he couldn't move; couldn't speak and he was so thirsty. His mouth felt dry and his throat was sore. His world had titled on its axis and now he couldn't even make sense of the world around him. He felt himself slowly returning to consciousness by a steady, gloved hand that now rested softly against his forehead.

"...Naru...here...wan...ater..." Kakashi-sensei's voice was unmistakable but he couldn't make out the words nor make any sense of them; a shudder worked its way through his body and he blearily opened his eyes. The world swam with colours before it slowly dissipated and blurred shapes came into focus. He could make out Kakashi-sensei's distinctive features; one grey eye, gravity defying silver hair and a skew hitai-ate. He frowned when something seemed to be missing but his mind couldn't make it out. He watched as perfect lips moved and sounds spilled out again but he didn't understand. A sudden and violent cough wracked through his body and pain immediately burst in a bright flash through his body.

"Naruto!" His world suddenly swan back into focus but he still couldn't get his body to obey his commands. He was then distinctly aware of a canteen pressing against his lips but even then the water only ran over his lips; they refused to open. He could feel the cool water run down his neck and settle at the hollow of his throat in a wet trail. He felt tears of frustration build in his eyes and cling to his lashes; he felt so vulnerable and useless. He couldn't even find enough strength to open his mouth so that he could drink water. He wanted to cry, he wanted to sob, he wanted to scream but only a haggard breath escaped him.

"Hush Naruto; it'll be fine." Kakashi's voice was soothing as he felt gloved fingers wipe away at the tears in the corner of his eyes. Blue eyes followed his sensei's movements as he watched Kakashi lift the canteen to his own lips; his mouth felt dry as he saw the drop of water run down a perfect chin. He wanted that water; he whimpered softly.

Of all the things he was expecting; this wasn't one of them. He shivered as Kakashi's weight settled over him and his sensei's face inched closer to his until a less than a millimetre was left between their lips. A single grey eye connected with his and he could see the concern there and a slight warmth spread across his cheeks. A small gasp escaped dry lips as Kakashi's breath brushed against his cheek before lips connected over his. His mind went blank as soft lips pressed against his and yet he couldn't move; he shuddered as Kakashi coaxed open his lips and then cool water flooded his mouth. The feeling was heavenly and he finally closed his eyes as he allowed himself the small effort to swallow the cool water.

He wasn't aware of the time; all he could feel was the water and Kakashi's mouth so pleasantly pressed against his. He frowned; had he just felt Kakashi's tongue against his? He didn't have time to ponder as those lips pulled away from his; he wanted to protest but only a small whine spilled from his lips. He could hear Kakashi's amused chuckle before gloved fingers ruffled his hair before settling against his forehead again.

"Sleep Naruto; you'll be better in a few hours and then we can return to the village." Naruto frowned but allowed himself to obey Kakashi-sensei's calm voice as he drifted. Frowning slightly when he could have sworn he heard his father's amused chuckle echoing in his mind.

~

Kakashi sat back on his haunches as he watched Naruto drift back to sleep; he had seen Naruto's pleading eyes and couldn't help himself. Those eyes had carved a place in his heart reserved just for the blond but he shook his head, berating himself. Maybe he shouldn't have given Naruto the water in that manner as he could still Naruto's sweet mouth on his. So innocent and still filled with so much sorrow; it was an addicting taste. He just hoped the little blonde would forget all about this in the morning.

He sat next to Naruto; his hands buried in his hair, his famous mask back in place as his mind ran over all the possibilities that could have affected Naruto's immune system and Kyuubi enough to allow him to contract such a high fever. He never noticed the black eyes that were trained on him and the small blush that stained pale cheeks. He had his back turned to Sasuke after all and his other two students were supposed to be fast asleep considering it was about three o'clock in the early morning hours.

He observed Naruto the next morning as the blond chuunin managed to get back on his feet whilst still stumbling slightly. The camp was packed up and Sakura and Sasuke were waiting for Naruto to get ready but it seemed that the fever still had a grip on Naruto's body. Kakashi gave a tired sigh as he stepped forward and gripped Naruto's shoulder; turning Naruto around so that blue eyes locked with his exposed eye and observed the deep blush that settled over whiskered cheeks. Oh; so Naruto did remember the night before. He averted his eyes as he pulled Naruto onto his back; ignoring the blonde's loud protests as he took to the trees with his precious cargo nestled on his back and yelling embarrassed curses in his ear. That was the Naruto he remembered but he couldn't help but feel that even though Naruto was back to them; something had changed, he could feel sorrow heavy in the air around his charge and the pain he glimpsed in blue eyes was still there. It wasn't a physical wound but rather one of the heart and one he wasn't sure he could heal. Only Jiraiya had that privilege and Kakashi knew it. Naruto's words from the night before in his fevered haze, proving his theory. Naruto needed the older Sannin...

'Please J'raiya-s'nsei. Don't leave.' Those words had expressed the pain Naruto was experiencing both mentally and physically and then there was the self destructive tendencies Naruto had shown; self blame and self loathing. Why else would he be so lost in his emotional pain to scratch himself until he bled profusely? He tried to stop his mind from running away from him but he had a feeling there was much more to Naruto's pain than what he allowed other's to see and that simple thought was disconcerting.

He increased his speed as he noticed the Konoha village gates before him. Naruto had fallen silent a few hours ago and he could feel Naruto's even breaths puffing against his neck and he smiled; only Naruto would be able to sleep whilst in such rough conditions. Before he made his way towards the Hokage tower for his report he sent Sasuke and Sakura out ahead of him as he made a quick detour. Naruto's apartment was uncommonly neat for a teen; almost bordering on obsessive compulsive but at least that made things a bit easier as to not trip over many objects. He chuckled softly as Naruto mumbled into his back before settling down again.

"Only you Naruto; only you." Kakashi said fondly as he placed Naruto in his bed; noticing the covers of his bed was printed with little ramen bowls. He chuckled lightly as he saw the dolphin plush toy neatly resting on the floor with a hitai-ate on its head; it was adorable so he picked it up and placed it Naruto's hand. Watching with fascination as Naruto curled around the large toy with a small smile splitting petal pink lips.

"Ruka-sensei." Naruto said softly as he nuzzled the dolphin toy and curled around its warmth. He wasn't aware that Kakashi was still there with him nor that he was back in his apartment; all Naruto new was that he felt warm, calm and his favourite plushie was in his arms again.

Kakashi chuckled as he heard Naruto's mumbling; it was cute. He sighed as he searched for a piece of paper and pen to write a quick note. Reminding Naruto that still had a serious talk to have before the next week was over and that Kakashi would come pick Naruto up when he was ready. He just hoped he would be able to get to the bottom of some of the strange happenings and heavy emotions Naruto seemed to carry around with him. If not; he didn't think he deserved to be called Naruto's teacher and mentor.

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Thanks for reading; reviews, ratings and questions are always welcome.
See you again soon
SnowShadowPass
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