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Freshmen Chronicles	By : afficek7 Category: Naruto AU/AR > General Views: 1630 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Author's Note: Thank you for all of the reviews! I have not updated, because I have been putting all of my effort into my novel. Therefore, I was seriously considering letting this story go due to time constraints, and the fact that it was solely created for me to get feedback and to be able to write as loosely as I felt like. However, I hate leaving things unfinished, so now my plan is to quickly finish this, and then go back to my serious work. This story will have 13 chapters.
Chapter 7
"Oh yeah! Who's the man? Who got an 87 percent on their midterm? That kid Namikaze, that's who! Fuck yeah!" I shout with my arms raised in field goal position as I charge into my room. I'm as happy as shit, but I swear Sasuke's unexcitable demeanor can deflate a damn dildo's erection. That fucker just glanced over, hned, and then went back to his typing. You would think that he would be more enthusiastic considering he practically had to live in my back pocket in order for me to scrape a C-. Me getting an 87 percent on any math exam is the equivalent to somebody else getting 110, so damn it, I want some acknowledgement!
"Hey, bastard, I know you heard me," I yell, and get the driest congratulations in the history of the English language. I swear I'm about to hit him, but his lip twitching ever so slightly, stops me. Most people wouldn't have caught it, but I am now a certified analyst of the bastardly, so not only do I see it, I now know that this jackass is purposely fucking with me.
Ever since that Saturday, our relationship has changed. I won't go as far as to calling us friends or anything like that, because we DO NOT talk outside of this room, go to the same hangout spots, or have even one mutual friend. However, we do get along a hell of a lot better than before. There have even been times where we both hung out in our dorm at the same time for hours on end. So, yeah, we're good, I guess.
"Screw you, bastard. Your antics will not bring down my high. Not today," I say as I start taking off my shoes. While still clicking away at his laptop, he has a comeback ready, before I can finish my sentence.
"You should reabe that stuff alone. It might damage what's reft of your brain," he says, and I am tempted to correct his English just to piss him off. It's weird to hear him talk, because sometimes his annunciations are bang on, and other times I have to mentally replay what he says in order to understand him. I'm beginning to suspect that he can only speak correctly when he's actively thinking about it, because I notice that the minute you call him on it, he speaks the language better than any native for days on end. Then, like a switch goes off, we're back to Engrish. Hmm, maybe I should change my minor to anthropology. That leaves the door open for me to do a senior thesis on Sasuke's language skills. I may even be able to self-publish my findings, and get his admirers to buy a copy at ten dollars a pop. Hell yeah, that's what I'm talking about!
"Stop grinning at me, weirdo," he calls out, and then glances at me with a look of concern, before turning back to his screen. That snaps me out of my musings, and draws my attention back to him practically gaze fucking his screen. It also reminds me that he got his midterm results today, too, and considering his recent video game rehab stint, I'm concerned for his grade.
You see, I had no idea that the guy has an insanely obsessive nature. So, when Kiba designed a new combat game that I swear is like 40 years before its time and wanted me to give it a test run, I didn't think much of it when I asked Sasuke to play it with me. The first few times, I whooped his ass, and then moved on, thinking that it was done. That bastard, on the other hand, played it day end and day out. He played it in between classes, during lunch, late at night, and every moment of the weekend. I started worrying about his sanity and health when he started playing it DURING his classes. So, I snuck the original back to Kiba, and deleted the copy on the bastard's hard drive. He literally went apeshit for two whole days. But, I am proud to say that he has been clean for almost three weeks, though I do suspect that he has been playing my Super NES, because I clearly remember playing Donkey Kong Country before I left last weekend. Therefore, I have no idea how Mortal Kombat wound up in the slot when I checked it last night, or how the many layers of dust have magically disappeared from my Super Mario World cartridge. Hmmm.
"So, how did your Business Law and Ethics test go?" I ask, and barely catch the slight flinch. He's still staring at the screen, but I can tell he's not really looking at it anymore.
"I got an 86," he says nonchalantly, and my first instinct is to cheer about doing better on an exam than he did, but I manage not to, because that's just cruel. My 87 may be equivalent to a 110, but him getting an 86 on anything is like getting an F. I'm sure Fugaku will be calling tonight, if he hasn't called already. Damn.
"What the hell are you looking at so hard, porn?" I ask as I walk over to his desk, effectively changing the conversation. No need to continue pissing on the grave of the dead, besides fucking with Sasuke will only enhance my good mood.
"Holy shit, you were looking at porn!" I yell as I catch a glimpse of a girl's panties as the browser closes. He growls something about up-skirt shots, but for him, it may as well have been porn. If I didn't live with him, and see his high sex drive in action, I would swear he was a fucking plant!
"Hey, I thought you only liked Asian girls?" I ask as it finally registers that that girl was very tall, very pale and very blonde. She practically oozed Swedish pin-up. Hell, I may have to add her to my collection.
"I onry fuck Asians, but I hab eyes, moron," he responds with some irritation. Hmm, I guess I killed the boner he was working on. My bad.
"What the hell? Why limit yourself? Have you not seen my We are the World tribute?" I question as I hold my hand up to the many posters covering my side of the room. For some reason, Sasuke looks way more irritated than he should from a simple conversation, even for him.
"America different. All mutts, anyway. Japanese stay with Japanese, especiary Uchiha," he says, and I know I should be insulted, but one thing I noticed about Sasuke is that he lashes out when he's hurting. Believe me, I've been on the receiving end of it many times, so I know what I'm talking about. But, what the hell did I say to piss him off this time?
"Just forget it, alright," he says, sounding slightly apologetic, before running a hand through his hair as though he heard my thoughts. I can feel the puzzlement on my face, and I have at least a half a dozen questions on the tip of my tongue, but I manage to hold my mouth. There really is no point in voicing them, because I won't receive an answer. I swear the more I hang around this guy, the more confused I get.
"Deidara, was here earrier, and told me to telru you that he and Ino are leabing earry, so you have to dribe home yourself," Sasuke says quickly, and it's painfully obvious that he's trying to change the subject. He did a damn good job, too, because that fucking Deidara knew I was expecting to catch a ride with him. Son of a bitch!
"What the hell? He couldn't wait one extra day? What's the point of me driving when we're going to the same damn place? Some cousin he is, ditching me the day before thanksgiving! Thanks for fucking nothing!" I yell, and try to weigh the pros and cons of having a family. Why do they always show their asses around the holidays as though it being a special occasion gives them a free pass to be dicks? Then again, it could be worst. Sasuke's dad is a dick all year long. Speaking of which…
"Hey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" I ask, and Sasuke looks a bit puzzled, before giving a half shrug.
"I'm staying here. I already worked it out with the school," he replies, and I can't help but to frown. Who the hell stays in the dorms for Thanksgiving? All of the other international students were sent to local families, so he would be the only one here, eating stale ass take-out. Naw, fuck that. That sucks. We may not be the closest of friends, but I wouldn't even do that to an enemy.
"Dude, Thanksgiving is one of the biggest holidays of the year in America. It's right up there with Christmas and New Year's. You are not staying in this dorm," I say with finality, and he looks at me funnily with a quirked eyebrow. He doesn't say anything, but he's not budging either. I'm not playing this game with him today.
"Don't just stand there, pack your shit! We're leaving at 10:00 am tomorrow morning. Be ready," I say, as I head out to my last class of the day. He had better come along quietly, or I WILL ride home with him in my trunk. Either way, he's not staying in this dorm.

"Well, we're here," I say as I pull into my parent's driveway. Ironically, I'm right behind that bitch, Deidara. Luckily, for him, I can't focus on his inconsiderateness, because Sasuke's acting so damn weird. He was silent the entire way here, and when I did get anything out of him, it was a few syllables of incomprehensible Engrish to the tenth power. Now, he doesn't seem too excited about getting out of the car. I know that I said that I wanted him to come along quietly, but damn!
I turn and give him an accessing look, and realize that he's breathing just slightly harder than normal, which makes me silently question his health. Maybe I should have taken him through the ER instead of coming here.
"Sasuke," I call out, and he quickly looks at me with eyes much wider than normal, giving him that weird young look he occasionally gets. From experience, I realize that he is just nervous for some reason. You would think I was taking him to meet God. What the hell? Do I even want to know what's going on?
"We're here," I repeat after a solid half minute of intense gazing. Within nanoseconds, he seems to be back to normal, which leaves me questioning my own sanity. It's too damn early for this shit. I haven't even faced my own family, yet.
"Naruto, get your ass out of the car, and help me chop these onions, you lazy bum," my mom yells from the doorway, and I'm instantly hit with the familiarity of home. I glance over to Sasuke, and I can't help but to wonder if I'm throwing the boy to the wolves.
"You heard the lady," I say and then quickly grab all of my shit, before heading in with Sasuke in tow. As soon as I cross the foyer, I hear greetings and everybody calling out my arrival. It feels like the Cheers theme song should be playing, or something.
"Who the hell is this?" Granny Tsunade asks after practically suffocating me in her cleavage. I was so busy trying to breathe that I forgot about my bastardly tag-along.
"Hello, I'm Uchiha Sasuke, Naruto's roommate. Nice to meet you all," said bastard cuts in, speaking quite politely, before I can even open my mouth. He then gives the deepest bow that I've ever seen. Once again, what the hell?
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! It's the holidays, hm. No need to throw your back out over these old farts!" Deidara announces, looking as bemused as I feel. He doesn't even flinch when both Granny Tsunade and Uncle Inoichi slap him upside the head over the insult, which makes me feel good that someone else is just as lost as I am.
"Now, that's what I'm talking about! Look at that respect. You unappreciative punks should take notes," Jii-jii Jiraiya calls out, before pulling Sasuke into a half hug.
"I'm Jiraiya Yamanaka, that idiot's grandfather," Jii-jii calls out while gesturing in my direction, "This is the Misses," he concludes after placing his arm around Granny Tsunade's shoulder. Sasuke quickly processes the information, before bowing again.
"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Yamanaka," he says, and everyone takes a step back on instinct.
"Namikaze!" Granny Tsunade barks, and Sasuke looks like a kicked puppy. Okay, time to intervene, before this gets ugly.
"That's my dad, Minato Namikaze, and my mom, Kushina Uzumaki-Namikaze. Over there is my uncle Inoichi Yamanaka, and my aunt, Temari Yamanaka. The big ass dog sitting on the couch like a human is Kuro. You already know Deidara and Ino, and standing before you are my grandparents, Jiraiya Yamanaka and Tsunade Namikaze. Everybody, this is Sasuke Uchiha," I say quickly, and the room instantly bursts into warm smiles and happy greetings, before everybody goes back to what they were doing before we walked in. I'm used to this environment, but Sasuke looks a little worse for wear. I probably should have filled him in sooner. Hmm, better late than never, I guess.
"At one point in time, Jii-Jii and Granny were married, but just a year after my Uncle Inoichi was born, Jii-jii cheated, and Granny divorced him. She then married another guy a few years later, but that marriage didn't last even two years, because he cheated. All along Jii-jii had been trying to win Granny back, but she wasn't having it. After the second divorce was finalized, Jii-jii saw Granny at a bar getting shit-faced, lamenting about her bad luck with men. Somehow, he managed to talk his way into her pants, because that's when she got pregnant with my dad. She didn't agree to officially get back with my Jii-jii until the day my dad was born. Even then, she refused to re-marry him, or give my dad his last name, hence why there are Namikaze and Yamanaka," I whisper the abridged version of my family's history. Sasuke looks a little shocked, but he's still standing, so I must say that it's going better than I thought it would.
"Is it okay for me to know alru of this?" He whispers conspiratorially, and I can't help but to laugh at his rapid glances about the room.
"Dude, this is a nosy ass small town. Everybody knows everybody's business. It wouldn't surprise me if that shit wasn't listed in the town's history books at the library. Believe me, it's cool," I say as we walk into the kitchen. Immediately, Sasuke is sent into the family room to watch TV, while I'm handed a bowl with a five-pound bag of onions and a paring knife. Fuck my life!

"Look, you may know something about soccer, but you don't know shit about real football. Jim Brown is the greatest football player of all time, period," Uncle Inoichi yells out as he, my dad and Jii-jii argue over sports. Ti-Temari, wisely, just hands uncle Inoichi his plate, while my mom does the same with my dad. Granny Tsunade sits down with her plate, and leaves Jii-jii hanging. He looks put out, but he should be used to it by now.
"Jim Brown is definitely up there, but Jerry Rice and he played in different eras. If they had played at the same time, Rice would have come out ahead," my dad added calmly.
"You two are both forgetting that they played different positions," Jii-jii says as he comes in with his plate. It goes like this every get-together. We all pile into the family room and listen to the old dudes argue about sports until someone gets tired of hearing it, and then breaks it up. Deidara and I look at each other at the same time. With a smirk, it's on.
"Those old dudes suck! I like Reggie Bush," I say. Not a second later, Deidara adds his two cents.
"I'll take nobody. I think they're all gay. What man goes around slapping another man's ass while wearing spandex," he says. I can practically feel the rage building. Three, two, one…
"Reggie Bush?"
"Gay?"
"Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit!"
"Something is wrong with these damn kids!"
"When I was your age…"
All you can hear is loud shouting about disrespect, society going down the drain, pansies and the good ole days. Ino, Deidara and I are rolling, while my mom and granny are sharing a bottle. Ti-Temari looks like she's about to knock-out whichever man is closer, and Jii-jii's Great Dane, Kuro, is making his rounds to every unattended plate he sees. Yup, typical Namikaze-Yamanaka Thanksgiving, which reminds me…
"Yo, don't think I forgot about you ditching me, you bastard. I'm totally getting you back for that," I say to Deidara, and he just gives me an irritated half-glare.
"Take this ten dollars, and shut the hell up already, hm. There's no way all of your shit and Sasuke's shit would have fit into my car, so you would have had to drive anyway," he responds, and I quickly put the cash into my wallet. If he's paying for my gas, I have no complaints. Hell, I'll drive to Egypt, if he's covering the expenses.
"See what you bastards did. You have the kids arguing. Fucking bad influences," my mom slurs and Granny looks on in agreement. My dad looks a little concerned when my mom stands up with a wobble and Uncle Inoichi is trying to pry the gin and tonic from Granny's hands. Jii-jii wisely moves to the other side of the room, but he may be jumping from the pan and into the fire by sitting next to Ti-Temari.
"Yo, Naruto, look at Sasuke," Ino whispers, and I turn my gaze onto my roommate. Most would interpret the look on his face as apprehension, or bemusement, but I know what those look like. This is a look I've never seen before, and I can't quite place the emotion. Either way, we should probably make our retreat.
"Come on, let's get out of here, before things really get interesting," I whisper, before latching on to his arm, and practically drag him to my room. I then let out a sigh, after I close my door, leaving most of the commotion on the other side.
"I love my family, but I can only take them in small doses," I say with a half grin, but he just looks at me with a mixture of sadness and blankness, before glancing at the door, and then gazing out the patio door. I don't what's going on with him, so I ignore it for the time being.
"That patio is my favorite part about this room. It's nice to have access to fresh air first thing in the morning, and to sleep out there during the summer nights. More importantly, it allowed me to sneak out when I was in high school," I state, and then get a rare laugh in response. Wow.
"You probabry got your ass kicked," Sasuke says, and right on cue I hear my mom shouting, and I can't help but to think of the many times I got my ass kicked. So, for the next two and half hours I tell Sasuke all about my escapades and mishaps. I tell him about the time my mom caught Sakura and I making out, and then made us both watch birthing videos for the rest of the day. I tell him about the time my mom found Deidara's joint, thought it was mine, and then tried to send me to rehab. I tell him how she was waiting on my balcony when I tried to climb back in after sneaking out, only to push me off the ledge and into the rose bushes. I also tell him how she hired obese male strippers to show up to the secret party I tried to throw while she and my dad were out of town. The more I speak, the more crazy memories resurface that I just have to tell.
Oddly, the entire time, Sasuke looks on as though I am sharing the secret of life. I can practically see him analyzing and categorizing everything I'm saying, which makes me share even more. It also explains why his grades are so fucking high. If I had half of his attention span, I would graduate Summa Cum Laude.
"You forgot the time I replaced all of your hidden porn with gay porn," a voice says from behind me, and I jump nearly two into the air.
"You scared the shit out of me! How long have you been standing there?" I exclaim, forgetting my language, when I turn around and see my mom only a few inches away. She looks at me with glassy eyes, and then starts scrutinizing the floor.
"Shit? Shit? I don't see any shit," she replies, and then looks for said shit on the ceiling. Sasuke is trying his best not to laugh, and my embarrassment grows when she starts inspecting my pants.
"Dad! Come get her!" I holler, and like my magic, my savior appears.
"Kushina, sweetie, what are you doing?" Dad asks, and my mom looks at him confusedly with her head cocked to the side.
"I'm looking for shit. Changing diapers is like riding a bike. Once you learn how, you never lose the skill. I miss changing diapers. My baby is not a baby anymore. Minato, I want another baby," she responds, and my dad immediately chokes on his spit. After hacking for a full minute, he gapes at her like a fish out of water. Mom's face instantly crumbles.
"What? You don't want one? You think I'm too old, don't you? I only turned 37 a few months ago, and everything is still running properly," she says with tear-filled eyes. I'm too embarrassed to remove my hand from my face, and dad is somehow pale and red at the same time.
"Uh, sure, we can have another one, if you really want one?" He says as he grins while rubbing the back of his neck. In seconds, mom is squeezing the life out of him.
"Great! I'll get the handcuffs. The hooks for the trapeze are still in the ceiling!" She replies. Aww naw, that's it!
"WOULD YOU TWO, PLEASE?" I yell, and my dad sends an apologetic smile. Mom is back in commander mode, and is way too excited for a typical Thanksgiving evening.
"Okay, time for bed everyone," she says, and Sasuke starts gathering his pajamas and shower gear without a word. Fuck that, I'm not going down without a fight.
"Mom, we are eighteen years old. You said it yourself, we're not babies anymore!" I rebut, but she just rubs her hand through my hair.
"Nope, you're not a baby, but you're still my baby. So, goodnight," she responds with finality, before heading out with my whipped father in tow. All I can do is wait until my shower is free, so that I can get ready for bed. Can you believe this shit? Fuck my life!

"Not a word, you bastard," I say after walking into my room, and seeing Sasuke with a contented smile on his face. He's doing that creepy young thing again, and I'm very tempted to ask to see his birth certificate.
"Nice family," he responds after a moment or so. I am ready to be insulted, but oddly, I think he means it. Even now, he's looking around my room in wonder. It's not surprising that stops to stare at my collection of retro games. I have over 200 cartridges for my NES, SNES, Sega Genesis, Nintendo 64, and 90's style Gameboy. Wait a minute, did he just sneak two cartridges into his pocket?
"Don't even think about it, bastard. I know you've been sneaking and playing my game," I inform, and Sasuke looks down right scandalized. I continue, before he can get a word in.
"I know what my dust is supposed to look like, so don't even try to deny it," I say. He then puts the THREE cartridges back onto the shelf, while mumbling something about Kathy Bates and Misery.
"Lights out, boys!"
Oh, for the lo… fuck it. Let me get Mike, and get on with this shit. I do not want her coming back in here. For all I know, she may walk in naked!
'Damn it, Mike, where are you?' I think as I frantically look through my bags for a second time. I don't stop until something bounces off my head. First, I look to see what the hell just hit me, 'Mike!' Then, I look in the direction of where he came flying from only to see Sasuke smirking at me.
"Forget something?" He asks smugly, and I begrudgingly mumble a thank you. Damn, he must have figured out that I literally cannot sleep without Mike glowing.
"Fussing over a small right," Sasuke mumbles with a laugh as he continues to search through his bags. His panic is growing and he is starting to sweat. I must say that I am greatly enjoying myself. It serves him right for keeping Mike hostage.
"Forget something?" I ask after he searches through his bag for a third time. Instantly, he looks at me with sheer hope. Jeez man, control your face!
"You're lucky I spotted this as I was walking out," I say as I pass him the waded up blanket. I'm almost positive that he just hugged that thing, before setting it down, but no way in hell is my mind willing to process that. Therefore, it did not happen.
"Hurry up, and turn off the lights, before she comes back in here!" I say after hearing some feet. It could be some other member of the family going to take a leak, but I'm not taking any chances.
"Nice family," Sasuke says again, after the room is completely black, and the feet are gone. I can't help but to snort.
"You say that now, but wait until you meet the extended family, tomorrow," I reply, and instantly, that small, contented smile is back on his face. I wish I could fell the same. Then again, not all of us are masochists.
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Freshmen Chronicles