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All I Ever Wanted	By : LolliPopLuvr2020 Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1008 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters therein, nor do I make any money off of these stories. However I do own Serenity, Keiko, Daisuke, and Sayuri.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
All I Ever Wanted
I had to re-register under another name because I got locked out of my old account. I am formerly known as Just_Lovely.
A big shout-out to my lovely beta Prism0467! It�s all thanks to you I am able to post my work!
Disclaimer: Naruto and all characters associated belong to Masashi Kishimoto. I make no money off of them or my works. My characters are Serenity, Sayuri, Keiko, and Daisuke.
Summary: Shino and Serenity had been in each other�s lives since they were children, only Shino had loved her from the very start. But one night, one fight, and one mission later, he finally gets everything he always wanted.
Chapter 7: Before the Mission, Part 2
Last Time:
�Shino, I wouldn�t lie to you�, Serenity said as she stopped and turned around to look at him. �Have you read the scroll yet?�
�No. But I will go over it while you�re getting your things together, and then I will brief you when we head out and we can create our cover story�, Shino said.
�Okay. I will see you at the gates at five then.� Serenity said as she turned to walk off. �Bye!� She called over her shoulder as she walked away.
-+-
Serenity undressed as she walked from her bedroom into the bathroom, leaving a trail of her clothes on the floor. Her bathroom was an elegant one; white marble, black tile, and stainless steel with pink towels and accents. She had a separate tub and shower; the tub was a four-person whirlpool set in a tiled block, with candles set around the rim. There was a small flat-screen mounted on the wall over the tub. The shower was glassed in, with a showerhead mounted in the ceiling.
She walked over to the tub, put in the stopper, and started the water to the correct temperature. Then she got into the shower and washed her hair and body while the tub was filling up. She turned off the water in the shower, and then got into the tub to soak for a while. She took the remote for the television and turned the television to a music channel.
She settled a folded rag behind her head and closed her eyes; then she let the music move her thoughts. The first song that played started out in a soft, piano chord.
If you�re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you�re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I'll never know what the future brings,

But I know you're here with me now.

We�ll make it through,

And I hope you are the one I share my life with.

I don�t want to run away but I can�t take it, I don�t understand.

If I�m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

A tear slid down her cheek as the words sunk in and the music played. Shino was everything to her; a strong, solid, reliable man. Serenity had been in love before; and what she felt for those men couldn�t hold a candle to the way she felt for Shino. Shino had wormed his way into her heart over the years she had known him, and was lodged in there good and tight.

Small flashes of memories played across her mind along to the tune of the song; she remembered different times when she had gotten to hold his hand, times she had seen his smile or his eyes, and the times she had gotten to hug him. Another slow song started to play.
Someone once told me that you have to choose

What you win or lose�

You can't have everything.

Don't you take chances?

Might feel the pain.

Don't you love in vain?

Cause love won't set you free�

I can't stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by.

So unhappy,

But safe as could be.

She had noticed his looks earlier in her life; there was no denying his allure. He was tall, he had dark hair; he had that calm and collected demeanor, and his gorgeous eyes (whenever she had the chance to see them). And though she had thought he was a handsome man, she never entertained the thought of Shino as her soul-mate until Daisuke died. Getting pregnant with Daisuke�s child, (though it was an accident) and his subsequent death embodied Serenity�s whole reason for never dating a shinobi: she couldn�t bear the thought of falling for a man that could be called on a mission and never make it back.
She was upset that Daisuke died, because she had his child and he was her best friend; but if Shino were to go the same way, Serenity wasn�t sure she could ever get over it. And that thought scared her most of all. The fact that she could lose Shino the same way as Daisuke was one of the major reasons she had never told Shino how she felt. She could never ask Shino to quit being a shinobi for her own selfish reasons.

So what if it hurts me?

So what if I break down?

So what if this world just throws me off the edge?

My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place,

I wanna hear my sound.

Don�t care about all the pain in front of me.

Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah.

Just wanna be happy, yeah.

She remembered a time when they were both 16; she was dripping wet, waiting in front of the Hokage�s door for a mission briefing.
Flashback:
She was standing against the wall of the Hokage�s office; dripping wet, her clothes soaked through, with her hands crossed over her chest. She was wearing a white shirt with black bra that day, when Konohamaru thought of the bright idea of drenching her in water (most likely to see her bra.)
�The little pervert�� She thought to herself with a chuckle as she stood outside of the door waiting. Kiba, Shino and Hinata walked around the corner then, and noticed her there.
�Wow!� Kiba said as they walked up to her. �What happened to you?�
�Konohamaru thought it would be funny to dump water on me when I was wearing a white shirt. The little perverted monkey�, Serenity said with a smile as she looked at them.
�Well, it seems like you need a hug�, Kiba said as he held out his arms.
Serenity smirked. �Oh no, I�m not falling for that! You aren�t ever going to know what kind of bra I wear.� She smiled as Kiba�s face fell comically.
�Kiba!� Hinata said with as much scorn as she was capable of, though she had a smile on her face. �That is rude.�

They all laughed at that.
�You�re cold�, Shino said it as if it were a fact.
�Yeah, but I will be fine once I get out in the sunlight again�, Serenity said as she shifted her feet.
Then Shino took off his coat.
It was the first time she had ever seen Shino in anything other than his jacket. He had a black tank on under his coat that showed off his amazing arms. His skin was pale, but the vision of him in nothing but a tank and pants and his glasses was like something out of a magazine. �Damn� who knew he was hiding such good looks under that jacket�, she thought to herself as he held it out to her.
�It will be a while before you are able to get back outside, and you have goose bumps on your legs. You need to keep warm or you will catch a cold�, he said to Serenity.
She looked at him in mild shock.
�What?� he said, confused.
�Nothing�, she responded, �it�s just that I�ve never seen you in anything but your coat.� Serenity extended one arm to take the jacket from him. �Are you sure you want to let me borrow it? Your coat will get wet.�
�It�s just water� Shino said with a smile. �And I know you would prefer to be able to use both of your arms.�
Serenity smiled back at him. �Thank you. Anything to preserve my modesty, right?�
She meant it as a joke. She turned away from them to pull on the coat.
�Well, my only concern is your well-being.� He said it softly, but Serenity heard it.
She turned around and looked at him. �You really are too kind�, she said. �I see why you wear this coat all of the time� it is really warm. How can you stand to wear it in the summer though? Does it have something to do with the beetles in your body?� She had always wanted to know.
�No. It�s just what I�ve become accustomed to�, Shino said as they settled back against the wall. �It isn�t a rule, per se, that we stay covered. It just keeps the act of our bodies releasing the beetles hidden from view. Most everyone in my clan has always dressed like this.�
�May I ask how you release the beetles?� She asked.
Shino was shocked for a moment.
�You really want to know?� His mind seemed to be blown.
�Well, yea.� She said as she looked at him. �Unless it�s a clan secret; I�ve just always been curious, especially now that I see your skin.� She ran a finger over a perfectly formed bicep. She noticed the small twitch at her touch. �Your skin is blemish-free.� She chuckled a little. �Your skin is better than mine!�
Shino blushed a little. �No it�s not�, he said. �The people of my clan are also able to control and manipulate their skin.� Serenity noticed that he seemed a little uncomfortable. �In short, we open a hole in our skin to let the beetles come and go.�
�So that�s how you do it... huh, that�s cool!� Serenity said. And again, Shino looked shocked.
�You think it�s cool? Most people find it weird�� he said.
�Well, it�s no weirder than Chouji�s clan�s expansion jutsu; or, for that matter, any other clan�s abilities�, Serenity pointed out. �Shinobi�s bodies have always been exceptions to scientific fact. I�ve never seen it as weird; I�ve always thought it was fascinating.�
�Really?� Shino responded.
Serenity noted that he seemed really happy. There was a definite smile on his face as he looked at her. So she smiled back.
�Alright. Get in here!� bellowed Tsunade�s voice from behind the door.
End Flashback
Serenity reflected on all the time she had spent with Shino in the last two years. The weekly dinners, the movies, and the days spent with he and Sayuri were some of the best times of her life. Now, two and a half years later, he was irrevocably lodged into the deepest depths of her heart. Another song was playing now; a slow melodic tune filtered through the speakers.
I've never felt this way before.

Everything that I do reminds me of you�

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor.

And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do.

When you walk away, I count the steps that you take�

Do you see how much I need you right now?

Sayuri had taken to Shino a proverbial bee to pollen. She loved him, that much was certain; and it didn�t help matters that Shino was so amazing with her. When Shino held Sayuri in his arms, when he played with her and made her squeal in delight, it made Serenity want to cry. Everything about Shino�s presence in Serenity and Sayuri�s life was destiny; they all fit together seamlessly. But most important of all was the fact that somehow, Serenity just knew that Shino would never hurt her daughter in any way. She didn�t know how, or why, but she just did.
When you're gone,

The pieces of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone,

The face I came to know is missing too.

When you're gone,

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok�

I miss you.

Serenity outright cried into the bathwater now. All of the guilt, anxiety, longing, hopes, dreams and fantasies formed one giant ball of emotions and found release through her sobs. Her heart was torn and bruised and broken; she was a total train wreck! �How could Shino possibly love me?� �What�s so good about me?� �How do I know I�m not just building up astronomical hopes that Shino could never live up to?� The thoughts ran rampant through her mind as the song continued.
We were made for each other�

Out here forever�

I know we were, yeah!

All I ever wanted was for you to know,

Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul�

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah!

As the last few notes faded away, so did her sobs. A good long cry was just what she needed to reign in her emotions. Serenity stood up on shaky legs and stepped out of the bathtub. She reached in to let the stopper out, and grabbed a towel and dried herself off. She walked over to the sink and started her daily hair and skin regimen. Cleanser, astringent, and then a light moisturizer; �At least I have good skin.� She thought to herself as she started on her hair.
She took a comb through her hair, starting from the bottom and working up. Once she had all of the tangles out, she sprayed a protein mist on her ends and then combed a frizz-control gel through her hair. She ran her hands through her hair, parting the strands here and there, trying to count (and pluck) the grey hairs that ran through her scalp. �Damn mom for giving me premature grey hairs like hers�� she thought as she examined herself in the mirror.
She rarely wore make-up anymore, seeing as she never did anything to dress up for. But she liked her features without make-up; she had an oval shaped face, full lips, lightly tanned skin, and round, prominent green eyes. �My ears are a little big though�, she noted. She then took in the rest of herself.
As hard as she worked out, she still couldn�t gain back the �tight� look to her skin that she had before her pregnancy. Nor were her abs as prominent as they used to be; she pinched the skin of her stomach and pulled, about an inch of stretch followed her so she let it go. Her arms and thighs wiggled a little too much for her liking she noticed; her ass was still as big as it used to be, but she could see that it was not as high up or as round as it used to be. �Thank god I don�t have love handles, though!� She thought to herself as she ran her hands over her hips.
She turned to the side and examined her profile. Very faintly she could see stretch-marks across her sides and down her thighs; that was one gift that pregnancy gave her that she could never get rid of. Her hands ran over her breasts as she lifted them and let them drop. She frowned at her reflection as she poked the left one with a finger. �They still have shape, but they aren�t firm anymore�� she sighed at her thought. �I�m sagging! God damn, better not let Rin find out� she would never let me off the hook.�
She always used to tease Rin about having kids when she was younger, but only because her mother and sister ragged on her for not having children at sixteen like they did. She knew they teased her in good fun, but it still hurt; simply because it always reminded her that she was alone. �Would Shino like me the way I am?� she thought as she took her stick rollers and began to roll her hair. These rollers weren�t heated, so they didn�t damage her hair. She simply rolled the individual strands, twisted the rollers into place, and then let her hair air dry.
Once she was done and the curlers were in place, she walked to the door on the opposite side of the bathroom and opened it. When she designed the place, she wanted to have a separate room off the side of the master bathroom to use as a closet, but the builders built two rooms with an adjoining bathroom. So she decided to use the extra room as a closet for both her and her daughter. She walked into the room and over to the rack that held her jeans, pants, and leggings. She picked an opaque black pair of leggings, and laid them over the chaise lounge set in the middle of the room. Then she walked over to the dresser that held all of her underwear and picked out a flesh-toned push-up bra and a pair of white cotton low-rise panties.
She pulled on the panties, then the bra. She adjusted the straps, and maneuvered her breasts to fit in the cups. Then she walked over to the lounger and pulled on her leggings; next she walked to the rack that held all of her shirts and tank tops. �What to wear? What not to wear? That is the question�� she thought to herself as she fished through her options. She finally settled on a silky grey dress that resembled her dress from the other night. It fit tight at the waist and hung off her shoulders, but the neckline was gathered into a low cut v-neck. She pulled it over her head, careful to avoid messing up the rollers in her hair.
Then she walked over to the wall holder that kept her scrolls and took one down. She rolled it out and set it on the chaise, then walked through her closet picking out about half of her clothes and dresses, underwear and shoes. She arranged the clothes in piles and performed the signs to seal her clothes in the scroll. She rolled the scroll together, and then set it in a carry-on bag. Then she went over to her vanity and packed her make-up, hair accessories, nail polish and remover, and jewelry into their respective bags, and stowed them in the carry-on as well.
She then pulled on her shoes. They were over the knee, a slightly darker grey than the dress she was wearing, and had a moderate heel. The shoes were decorated with small silver chains and black and silver-studded straps. Then she took out her rollers, ran her fingers through her hair, and pinned the left side of her hair behind her ear with a black flower clip. She checked her reflection in the standing mirror and smiled.
�Let�s see. I have underwear, shirts, skirts, pants, accessories, shoes, and my make-up. All I need is my bath things and hair products.� She ran through her mental checklist as she walked back to the bathroom and gathered up her shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, perfumes and hairbrush. She stowed them in a separate carry-on. Then she grabbed her other carry-on, turned the light off in her closet and shut the door. She grabbed her purse and keys off of her bed, and checked the time. �4:15. Good, I�m going to make it in plenty of time�, she thought to herself as she turned off her lights in the bathroom and her bedroom.
�Well, here we go�, she thought to herself as she locked her house behind her and set off toward the gates.
-+-
A/N: It is finally out! LOL I am so happy that it is coming together. I know this chapter and the last ones are really fillers. And I want to apologize if it seems that I am taking so long to move the story along. It�s just that I want to do Shino and the story justice. There is so much depth to both Shino and Serenity, and their relationship is so complicated that it is going to take a while to get them to the point where they can get together.

Due credit goes to the songwriters and singers whose songs I borrowed for this chapter. Daniel Beddingfield sang the first song �If You�re Not the One�; Leona Lewis sang the second song �Happy�, and Avril Lavigne sang the third song �I Miss You�.

Also credit goes to Prism0467, 1Angel2Heart (from DeviantArt), and xXUnholy ConfessionsxX for all of their input.
Prism, thanks for your beta skills. I owe you greatly.
To 1Angel2Heart, thank you for encouraging me to continue the story.
And xXUnholy ConfessionsxX, thank you for your insight to my small oversights. Most especially for your observations of Shino. I hope this chapter not only characterizes Serenity, but also rounds out Shino a little more. (And I did mention his bugs. LOL)
To all others who have set my story as a favorite or left reviews, thank you so much. It really makes me happy to know that people out there are liking my story. I hope you like where I am taking the story, and I am always open to criticism. Reviews are appreciated, and if you have any input or ideas, or just see something that I might have missed, please note me and let me know.
Much love and appreciation,
Amber
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All I Ever Wanted