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Searching for Something	By : jellybelle21 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1063 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
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- 8
“What are you doing?” Neji glared at the girl sitting in his room as though she was invited. “This is my room.”

“I know.” Temari closed the folder she’d been perusing while she waited and swept her arm toward the other chair. “Sit.”

“Do you want something?” he felt extremely confused. He had stayed up all night, answering and asking questions, learning that as he suspected, Gaara did not sleep, and apparently had long since stopped feeling tired. Temari had finally knocked on the door, and Gaara had been annoyed when it was not breakfast, but a summons to a meeting. She had chided him about remembering his responsibilities, and pointed down the hallway, instructing Neji where he could get some food. He had just returned to find that she had been waiting for him the whole time. He really wanted to go to sleep.

“Yes, I need to speak to you.” She told him, and he had the sudden odd feeling that this was some sort of competency review, like he’d gone through when applying to become a jounin. Apparently Konoha only liked sane ninja. He wondered if life might not be a little easier if other villages felt the same way. “I need to know if you had sex with my brother.”

“Wh—what?” Neji was not expecting that, and he was really too tired to maintain his aloof demeanor.

“Just humor me.” She leveled a dry look at him. “Honestly, if you don’t tell me what I want to know, I can start planting spies, having you two followed, bugging rooms, but I really don’t want to have to do that.”

“Okay, no.” he felt embarrassed and annoyed, and he wanted to know why she thought that it was really any of her business what Gaara and he did.

“Thank god.” She leaned back suddenly, and the tension left the atmosphere. “I hoped that you would be able to…you know, kind of show him that there’s more than that to it. He’s been a wreck since we went to Konoha.” She leveled a glare at him then. “You kissed him first, didn’t you?”

“This isn’t really any of your business.” Neji was getting more aggravated by the moment. It seemed like Temari had Gaara’s interests at heart, but that didn’t mean he was going to tell her every single detail of their relationship.

“I could have you tortured.” She told him casually. “Honestly, it wouldn’t be that hard to sneak you away and distract Gaara until we were done and you had been healed.”

“What kind of sister are you?” Neji finally asked, completely taken aback by her way of talking, her brazen attempts to intimidate him, and her meddlesome interest in Gaara’s private life.

“A very good one.” She answered shortly. “Now just answer the question.”

“Yes, fine, I did.” He flushed, and felt a sudden burning hatred of this stupid girl and her stupid threats. “There, are you happy? Did you want to know how many times we’ve kissed? Interested in how far we’ve gone? Want to know about anyone else I’ve been with?”

“No, no, that’s fine.” She smiled as if he were being funny. “I’m only really interested in Gaara, not you.”

“Thanks.” Neji told her sarcastically.

“Now then, has he talked to you at all about his past?” Temari wanted to know, and at least this time, Neji didn’t really feel embarrassed.

“Yes.” He answered confidently. “I know all about it.”

“Do you know about his recent past, is what I mean?” Temari clarified. “I know you knew all about the bijuu, the ostracizing, the uncontrollable urge to kill. Judging from your friends, and from what I know of you, I’m not really concerned that any of that would bother you. I mean to ask, did he tell you anything about what he’s done since that visit to Konoha?”

“No, I didn’t really ask about anything that recent.” Neji felt annoyed that there was something he didn’t think of, but he had steered away from that, not really wanting to tell Gaara about how he’d spent the last few months trying to de-gay himself by fucking a girl almost daily. “He’s had sex though, hasn’t he?”

“How could you tell?” Temari tilted her head curiously.

“He’s the same person and everything, but he seems much more…confident about certain things.” Neji explained uncomfortably and she nodded knowingly.

“Yes, well, I’d give you a number if I could, but I think that’s something for the two of you to discuss, and honestly, I lost count. I just wanted to let you know that for whatever reason, he thought he needed to get rid of his feelings for you, so he tried to replace you. I don’t know what you did to him or said to him to make him so fixated on you, but you had better not leave him again. I don’t want to have you secretly killed. Gaara will be sad, I’m sure, but if you’re going to keep messing with his head, I’ll really see no alternative.” She ended this with a smile and stood up before looking at him as though she hadn’t seen him there before. “Oh, did you have any questions for me?”

“No, not really.” Neji felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and vaguely afraid of Gaara’s sister. After she left, he climbed into his bed and fell asleep at once.

----------

When he woke up, he was momentarily unsure of where he was and what was going on. It seemed to be evening, and at first, he thought he was at Tenten’s apartment, as the bed was unfamiliar, and he could feel that his dick was in a mouth that seemed hell-bent on bringing him to orgasm. He was already hard, and what was she doing with her tongue? When had she learned that? It took several moments of pleasure spiked wakefulness for him to realize as the features of the dark room started to come into focus, and his memory returned to him, that this was not Tenten’s apartment, and he had a very shrewd idea of who was currently under the blanket, their body making a sizeable bulge between his legs as the movement of their head caused slight shifts in the surface.

Shifting aside the blanket with hands that were shaking with pleasure, he was reassured to see a familiar head of hair perched between his legs. Gaara looked up then, letting go of his shaft with a slight popping noise. His lips looked swollen, and Neji wondered how long he’d been under there.

“You’re awake.” He stated. “I thought you might still be tired. I’m not really sure how long people sleep for. But I wanted you to be awake.”

“And you figured that I wouldn’t be annoyed if you woke me up like this?” Neji was groggy, slightly disoriented by the fact that he was waking up at night in a strange room, and more than a little impressed by Gaara’s abilities. “Where did you even learn that?”

“Dunno.” He shrugged slightly and went back to his work. Neji thought he was joking at first, and then remembered what he’d talked about with Temari that morning. He really doesn’t know. Whoever it was that taught him how to do that, he doesn’t remember their name. He probably doesn’t even remember what they looked like. Part of him was annoyed by this, and he felt ludicrously as though it was a betrayal for Gaara to sleep with other people. The other part of him, the more sensible, logical part, knew that they had not been together when all of that had happened. And besides, he’d been sleeping with Tenten that whole time and not really enjoying himself. He wondered if Gaara had liked it. He was trying to be angry, but he found that it was really hard to be angry with someone who was sucking your dick at the moment and doing such a very good job.

He felt his thoughts disconnecting, and he couldn’t concentrate on anything except for the way Gaara’s mouth felt, the soft noises he was making as he relaxed his throat to take in more of Neji, and the absolutely exquisite sight of Gaara’s head bobbing between his legs, red hair obscuring pale green eyes that occasionally glanced up to see Neji’s face. He knew that he had lost control of his features, and he didn’t really care. He tried to hold back the moans, failed utterly, and shortly found himself coming in great spurts into Gaara’s waiting mouth. He swallowed, not seeming to mind the taste at all, even though Neji remembered that Tenten had always made a rather hilarious face and either spat it out or choked it down and then ran to get a glass of water.

“Doesn’t it taste weird?” he asked, realizing with an odd sense of fear that Gaara had probably had sex with men, and was now more experienced than Neji, which was the opposite of how things had started.

“It tastes like salt. It’s not that weird.” Gaara shrugged, apparently not thinking there was anything strange about the situation or what he had just done. Neji realized that he really wanted to know about the months between now and their kiss on the balcony, and wondered if he could even handle the truth. He felt afraid that after everything that he’d done, Gaara would be distinctly unimpressed by Neji’s own abilities, and he would just call the whole thing off. He had been gaining confidence last night when they stayed up just talking and learning all about each other. When Gaara had wanted to know things about him, he had felt sure that even if he didn’t really understand, the Sand ninja had real feelings for Neji as well. The thought of being just another fuck was somehow unbearable, and Neji couldn’t decide whether he regretted having ever kissed Gaara or not. He had heard that being in love was amazing. He had his doubts. From his experience, love was a complete gamble. Either the person loved you back and you were amazingly happy, or they didn’t, and you found yourself a slave to their whims until they finally completely broke your heart. He felt like he understood what Tenten felt like more and more every terrifying minute he spent with Gaara.

“Can I ask you something?” he turned to the man lying beside him silently, not complaining about his totally neglected erection even after he had just spent all that effort sucking Neji off.

“More questions?” Gaara seemed halfway between annoyed and amused. “What’s even left to ask me?”

“After what happened in Konoha, when you came back here, you had sex with other people, didn’t you?” he asked, knowing the answer already and dreading it.

“Yes.” Gaara remained on his back, but turned his head to look at Neji, blinking at him with eyes that Neji felt were designed only to torture him. There really was no one else like him, and he had been stupid to think he could forget him. Now, the more he learned about Gaara, the more he wanted to stay with him. He wondered if Gaara felt the same way, or if he was just annoyed that Neji wanted to do things that were not sex.

“How many other people?” he asked, trying to sound like it didn’t matter, like he was just interested in this the same way he had been interested in what Gaara’s favorite food was, or when he’d first made his sand gourd, or why he cut his hair short. He knew all those things now, but this thing…he was afraid to know the answer.

“I don’t know.” Gaara answered. “Does it matter?” Neji wasn’t sure, so he decided to try something else, just to see if the idea bothered Gaara as much as it bothered Neji.

“I dated Tenten.” He admitted without any prompting. “Since almost right after you left until the day I left to come here. Everyone expected us to get married.” Gaara was silent as he processed this information, and his expression was completely unreadable. Neji wasn’t sure if Gaara being jealous would make him feel better, but he suddenly felt it would make him feel less like he had absolutely no control over the situation. He didn’t want to feel like Gaara didn’t care at all what he did, while he sat obsessing over the things that Gaara had done, looking at every person he saw in the tower and the rest of the village and wondering if he’d been with them, what they’d done, if he’d liked it. “We had sex all the time.” He finished, wanting to see something. Some reaction, some twitch of the lip, some flash of jealousy to let him know that Gaara cared at all.

“Did you like it?” Gaara’s voice was expressionless, but tight. Neji wasn’t sure whether he was jealous or just curious.

“Sometimes.” He answered, and before he could think anything else, he found himself pinned to the mattress, Gaara’s face seething with rage as his eyes glinted in the dim light, and Neji suddenly regretted his words. Sometimes he forgot that Gaara never slept, and that he had a temper that could break without any warning. The last time this had happened, he had almost died. This time, at least, there was no sand holding him down, just Gaara. He wasn’t being choked, but Gaara’s fingers were like vices on his arms, and he realized very suddenly that if Gaara did kill him, it would be a simple matter to cover the whole thing up. No one really knew where he’d gone, and no one would suspect the reformed Gaara of the Sand to randomly kill a ninja from Konoha. Besides Tenten, who had only suspected, no one from the Leaf knew about their relationship, and they really had no reason to think to look for him here.

“Did you fuck Sasuke, too?” Gaara’s voice was a growl, his face inches from Neji, and he wondered why Gaara would even ask him that, but then he remembered the way he had let Sasuke’s name slip that morning in Konoha. Gaara had remembered that? He hadn’t even confirmed that anything existed between them, and yet, he’d remembered that minute detail of their conversation, and apparently, it made him very…agitated.

“N—no.” he tried to control the cold fear seeping through him.

“But you want to?” he looked almost crazy in that moment, and Neji briefly wondered if there was any way he could convince Gaara that sleep would be good for him, but that thought gave way to the fear that he wouldn’t really live long enough to suggest anything to Gaara.

“Not anymore.” He answered, and something seemed to change in Gaara’s expression. It softened slightly, and Neji no longer felt afraid. The hands were still tight on his arms, but he did not think that Gaara meant him any harm.

“Not anymore?” Gaara repeated, his eyes narrowing as he sat up slightly, and Neji recalled with embarrassment that while he had a shirt on, Gaara had removed his pants, and the Kazekage was completely naked, and still half-hard.

“No…I just…before what happened, I wanted him, it’s true.” Neji admitted, not really wanting to fuel Gaara’s anger, but also realizing that he had nothing to gain from lying. He had already basically admitted to his former obsession. “I thought that’s how it always was, I didn’t really understand that you can’t base anything off of just that. I didn’t know very much about him, and I didn’t really want to know much. I just wanted…and I tried to ignore it, but it drove me crazy, knowing I couldn’t have him, and after what happened, suddenly…it just didn’t matter anymore. I could talk to him and train with him and see him and never think about anything sexual the whole time. I thought that meant that all I had to do to forget about you was to find someone else. I knew Tenten liked me, so I started dating her. I thought if we had sex, it would make me forget about you, but I just kept…I kept wishing it was you, and she realized that I really couldn’t…I didn’t feel anything like that for her, and that was the end of it. I thought maybe another man was what I needed. I thought…Tenten didn’t work because I just don’t like girls at all, but I realized that…I mean, sometimes I did like it. Maybe I do like girls a little bit, but it doesn’t really matter whether I like men or women or both because all I want is to be with you.” Gaara subsided completely at that. His anger seemed to evaporate, and he rolled off of Neji, sighing deeply and closing his eyes. Neji had no idea what he was thinking.

“Is that true?” he asked finally, and Neji frowned, wondering if Gaara thought he’d only said those things because he was afraid.

“Yes.” He answered in a soft tone before turning to look at Gaara and seeing that his eyes were open again, staring at the ceiling. “Now do you see why I wanted to know?”

“I guess.” Gaara answered. “You didn’t have to make me so…”

“Well, I didn’t expect you to go…” he’d been about to say crazy, but he stopped himself. “Get so upset.” He amended quickly.

“I don’t really care about Tenten.” He turned and blinked at Neji. “Is that weird? I don’t care if you had sex with her a thousand times. Because I understand why you did. It’s what I tried to do.”

“Did it work?” Neji asked, trying to mask the fear in his tone. Gaara snorted and turned back toward the ceiling.

“Nothing worked.” He answered after a long silence. “I thought you’d cursed me. I thought because you had been the one to make me think of these things, I’d always think of you, I’d always want you. I thought that since you had wanted Sasuke before me, you didn’t care what happened to me, all you would ever want was him. You could be with me, and you’d see his face, you’d never see me.”

“Oh.” Neji hadn’t realized that Gaara had thought of it all so much. “If it makes you feel better, Sasuke wasn’t my first kiss. It was some girl whose name I can’t even remember who tackled me and messed up my hair. Crazy stalker.” He frowned at the memory and there was suddenly a strange noise. It took him a moment to realize that Gaara was laughing. He looked over in shock and was rewarded with the briefest of smiles. It really did make his face look better.

“I’m glad you don’t want him anymore.” Gaara told him, rolling over and flinging his arm over Neji before burrowing his head against his shoulder. “I wanted to have him killed, I was so determined to have you back.”

“What stopped you?” Neji raised an eyebrow. He had no idea Gaara was so possessive. It was a bit scary, but it was strangely nice to know that he was at least concerned about it.

“I didn’t want to make Naruto cry.” He sighed heavily. “But I was still thinking about it all the time.”

“Thanks for not doing that.” Neji felt his lips curl up in a smile. “Naruto would have probably killed you, and then I’d have to kill him. It would just end up with war.”

“No problem.” Gaara yawned and after a long pause, Neji glanced over and realized with shock that the Kazekage seemed to be asleep.

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To be continued…
- 6
- 7
- 8
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