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ANBU, We Have a Problem	By : Hestia Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3694 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
Chapter VII: Some Problems Solved

Kotetsu woke up in Shu’s bed with a backache, a weird feeling of emptiness or looseness in his ass, and lips that felt swollen. But he was also happy and horny—and he felt bizarrely confidant that he and Shu were going to be great, fucking amazingly great. He had no idea why he’d wasted so much worry over anal sex, over being good at giving head, over whether he was gay or straight. What mattered was the heart—and he was confident that both he and Shu were sure of what their hearts wanted.

He certainly felt much more confident than he had the right to be as he had a total of ZERO sexual, romantic relationships that had lasted more than three weeks, let alone longer. And as for relationships with men, more than friendship relationships . . . well, he’d had a number of hook-ups with Kakashi, more charity/pity/favors owned fuck-lessons than hook-ups, and some casual oral sex that couldn’t even count as a date. Yet he was in bed with the hottest redhead in the world who loved him!

Oh, god, yes, the very hottest . . . shit, he was rock hard and dying to wrap that hair around his cock . . .

“What are you thinking, pretty, that has that wicked smile on your face?” asked Shu in a soft voice.

“That the hottest fucking red-head in the world loves me, and I love him, but I’ve never had a serious relationship, I mean not like friendship, like sex, no, I mean love, but lovey-love, not buddy love, not buddy sex, I mean, like, no, but . . . oh fuck! Shu, I love you! Seriously! Don’t you start laughing! Shit! I’ll give you something to do with that mouth!”

But Shu was kissing him—kissing him and covering him with his body that was bigger, stronger, and more powerful. And he didn’t have to worry what would happen next, what move to make, when to make it, hell, he couldn’t . . . he was being taken care of by a master . . . his Master . . . and there was red hair falling around him, and it was magic like those dreams of his . . . only better . . .

. . . who the fuck was arguing outside . . . that’s Ritsu and Izumo . . . oh, god, that feels so good, so right . . . that sound like Dog and if Izumo’s there, his Pan or Kurohyou is too . . . ah, yes, Shu, so good . . . holy crap that sounds like Takeo and Toshi . . . must focus on Shu . . . on his fingers . . . on his cock . . . shit, I heard Ibiki’s name . . . yup, they’re saying Ibiki, Ibiki . . .

“FUCK!” screamed two voices in frustration. Kotetsu’s and Shu’s eyes met, and then they both started laughing. But even as they were laughing, they were pulling on clothes. Kotetsu was annoyed how loose the spare t-shirt and pants Shu had tossed him were, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to waste chakra fetching any of his own clothes if words like Ibiki were being tossed around outside. Damn, should he go pee first—but no, because evidently the gang had decided to interrupt for real and were now knocking on the door.

When they were both just passing the little area that was Shu’s kitchen, the door was opened by Ritsu. Kotetsu felt himself turning bright red and his stride faltered a little. But then Shu had his body tight against his own, and his lips were on Kotetsu’s. The chuunin didn’t need his eyes to know that this kiss was being studied and evaluated. Somehow the thought of the watching eyes made Kotetsu feel hornier than when he’d been under Shu just minutes ago.

“Hey, you had all night to do that, guys,” said Ritsu, “Don’t be showing off, Shu.”

Shu and Kotetsu pulled away from each other. “Hey, if I’m going to tortured by Ibiki,” said Kotetsu, “I want every kiss I can get first.”

“Use the bathroom, pretty,” said Shu in a voice that was so full of menace that Kotetsu’s head snapped around in shock. Wow, his lover was pissed, seriously pissed. Suddenly, being in the bathroom seemed like a good idea.

So he went. He put on the fan knowing that ANBU didn’t need words to talk—they had their own silent ways of communicating. Hmmm . . . mind to mind? A subtle secret code of body, hand, eye, or any combination of all three? Maybe he’d find out . . . oh, crap, his back hurt and his ass was . . . was sorta gapping or loose or, ok, well fucked. He’d been fucked and fucked good—and he’d given head that you couldn’t buy with all the money in Konoha. Hell, who else had Kakashi taught the famous One Thousand Sperm to? Turtle? Fuck thinking of Turtle—god damn it, the last thing he needed was to remind himself of Turtle and how talking about him had sent Shu out of his life. But then talking to Turtle last night had led to him winning Shu back—or at least taking advantage of Ibiki’s temporary absence.

God, Ibiki—he’d stolen Ibiki’s boyfriend—no, no, Ibiki had stolen his Shu—no, had taken advantage of his Shu. Making Shu his bitch—Shu was no one’s bitch, but if he was going to be taken, by god, it was going to be by him, by Kotetsu giving it his all. He didn’t care who fucked who in this new love, as long as it was just Kotetsu and Shu. Hell, he was Shu’s bitch, and everyone out there knew it. And how did Shu’s bitch feel this morning? Well fucked and fucking perfect—and all the shits out there in Shu’s small living room were jealous. Not that they wanted fucked by Shu, no, they were jealous because they were lonely, and if they weren’t lonely, they weren’t in that new zone with a new lover when what you hadn’t done yet was a present just waiting for you to open it. Kotetsu shuddered, and his ass fluttered, and he was marveling at the way he was feeling his insides, his outsides, his everything--

Over the fan in bathroom, Kotetsu heard laughter.

He finished drying his hands and emerged from the bathroom. Damn—the teasing motherfuckers, every one of them! There had been far too many ninjas in the little apartment before he’d gone in the bathroom, and the number of bodies in the house had doubled, and what was even more humiliating was that he’d not even noticed. Fucking ANBU and their chakra control! Not that anyone was in a uniform or had a mask—but those bodies were muscled fit ninja bodies, and he certainly recognized way too many of them. Hell, he’d blown at least—three, four—no he wasn’t going there. Shit, this was weird--everyone was talking or laughing, like it was a fucking party or a holiday. Then Izumo’s arms were around him, and his best friend said, “Shikamara loves Ibiki.”

Kotetsu laughed because that was so absurd, it was pretty funny to think about—but then his eyes took in the happiness and relief on Shu’s face. He felt himself go cold, hot, and then something weird as he saw Shu moving towards him.

“ . . . fucked him over shogi . . .”

“. . . never moves . . . never says anything . . .”

“ . . . screaming `IBIKI’ no honorific, nothing, like they’d been lovers for years . . .”

“. . . thank god for Chouji because that’s the last . . .”

“. . . so fucking cute with that hair . . .”

Shu kissed him. They pulled apart at the applause and whistles. “You won’t have to fight Ibiki for me, pretty,” said Shu, “Not that I was going to let you anyway, but, evidently, he stopped fucking Shikamaru to come check on us last night, went home, then went back to fucking Shikamaru.”

“ . . . no was getting fucked . . .”

“ . . . using shadow hands jutsu, the kinky motherfuckers . . .”

“ . . . but Hyuuga-san confirmed it . . .”

“ . . . yeah, fucking asshole Neji showed up . . .”

“ . . . miss nutting on that face . . .”

The phone rang, and two ANBU in masks appeared in their midst.

“ . . . out to lunch . . .”

“. . . love their food . . .”

“. . . nooner . . .”

“. . . his mother’s such a bitch . . .”

“. . . costs a fortune . . .”

There were more puffs of smoke, and Shu was over on the phone in between one blink of Kotetsu’s eyes and another. Kotetsu was instantly in panic mode, everything moving slow and sounding distant as he tried to decide what he needed to do. Then a sharp squeeze on his hand made him look down. His eyes slowly moved from hand to wrist to forearm to elbow to bicep and, at last, to the face of his best friend, Izumo.

“It’s nothing,” said Izumo. “Don’t panic; there’s no emergency. If there was, we’d be alone already. You’ll get used to it now that you have an ANBU boyfriend. I think that it’s just everybody’s so happy that Ibiki’s not going to kill you two—or well, at least he didn’t kill you last night when he could tell you were doing it. But Shikamaru and Ibiki, well, it sorta makes sense, I mean you know how smart he is, well, both of them are. And Shikamaru’s always so calm and sleepy. I don’t think anything would scare him.”

“Ibiki was here last night?” interrupted Kotetsu, dropping Izumo’s hand and ignoring the movements and voices around them.

“Yeah, ah, Kurohyou and I were hanging around just in case--”

“Yeah, and they wouldn’t let anyone else enjoy the show, the selfish bastards,” interrupted Toshi, whom Kotetsu knew wore the goat’s mask. Like a goat, he seemed to butt his head into everyone’s business, but with such honest enthusiasm, it was hard to get mad at him.

“Well, back to Shikamaru,” continued Izumo ignoring Toshi, “you know that ANBU joke I told you—Ibiki convinced him to put out one of those red cat bowls, the come-and-fuck-me bowls, because it was less troublesome than masturbating.”

“But Shikamaru loves Ibiki? Why would he start fucking Ibiki’s own men? Something’s not right,” said Kotetsu with a shake of his head.

“Ah, pretty,” said Shu, coming up behind Kotetsu and wrapping his arms around him. “You know we aren’t exactly a couple that can throw stones at the new lovebirds. I just got ANBU-certified assurance that Ibiki is getting fitted for an emergency formal dress suit, which he’s going to wear to take Shikamaru and his parents to lunch at the Grand Hokage Hotel. Plus, Ibiki told Miki to inform me that I was on leave for ten days.”

“Oh, god, I’m out of here,” said Toshi, “I got see Ibiki in a suit. Have a great honeymoon, and remember Tetsu, I’m always available if you—ah, not the eye!”

Shu’s punch hit Toshi’s check before he vanished, and then it was just Pan, Izumo, Shu, and Kotetsu. They moved over to the kitchen, and Panther started cooking breakfast as Shu made them all tea.

“Anyway,” Izumo continued again, “Shikamaru would put the bowl out all the time he was in town, and he let the guys do anything, seriously, anything. I mean that’s got to be tough to have the man you love, be a major slut. Oh, god, Kotetsu—I didn’t mean you—don’t look like that!”

“Just fucking tell the story, Zumo,” snapped Kotetsu.

“So, anyway, Shikamaru’s had like every cock and fist in ANBU that isn’t super hetro or taken or Ibiki—though now in Ibiki’s case that’s changed of course.”

“Fist?” asked Kotetsu weakly, settling down into a chair.

The “chuuuhhhh chuuuhh” that was Panther’s laugh, made Kotetsu frown.

“It’s not like you’re thinking, Ko,” said Izumo earnestly, “but don’t worry, you’ll like it. And, well, back to Shika--”

“I will fucking not!” protested Kotetsu.

“I like it,” said Shu, which made both chuunin’s mouths drop open and caused even Panther to react—his head swiveled back to eye the redhead and his eyebrows arched a bit.

Kotetsu’s ass convulsed, his cock stood up, and his eyes might have crossed—he had to close them for a minute to center himself. A vision flashed in his mind of Shu lying on his stomach, that intricate tattoo running straight down his backbone to a tight little asshole.

“Seriously, fisting is nothing compared to some of the shit Ibiki is into,” said Shu, as he set out the chopsticks. “But with the whole Nara clan and the genius thing, I think Shikamaru’s going to be alright.”

There was more silence after that statement, but as Panther was now setting the food on the table, it wasn’t awkward. After they’d eaten for a while, Kotetsu said, “But last night, Ritsu and Dog were convinced Ibiki was totally into Shu. So how long has this thing with Shikamaru been going on?”

“Ibiki stopped coming to see me a few days ago,” said Shu.

“Well, Toshi said that when he got off work yesterday, he went over to see if Shikamaru had put out the bowl, and he found Ibiki and Shika were going at it like crazy. Shikamaru, who evidently half sleeps through sex, was, ah, actually moving and making noise,” said Izumo, “Then they played shogi and then had more sex.”

“Switch,” said Panther, surprising the others by actually talking.

“Yeah, well, Dog went over to Shino and Neji’s place to ask the Hyuuga to use his Byakugan to verify they were really doing it. Neji actually was so surprised over the Ibiki-Shikamaru thing, he went over to Shikamaru’s to prove it was nothing, but then he said Shikamaru was fucking Ibiki—that the chakra points didn’t lie.”

“Did Ibiki bottom for you?” demanded Kotetsu of his lover.

Shu shook his head no, saying, “Fuck no. But maybe that was what the shogi was about. Nobody beats Shikamaru at shogi, but why would Ibiki even think he could win?”

“Ahhhh!” exclaimed Izumo. “He just had to save face—or, Shikamaru tricked him into it. I don’t care what they do to each other because my best friend and Shu are together now and not going to be tortured. God, he whipped my Kurohyou just for letting you see him with his uniform on and no mask!”

Panther, or Kurohyou, cleared his throat, and Izumo dropped the subject and asked for another cup of tea. They finished the meal without much more talk, and Panther and Izumo excused themselves and left. Kotetsu offered to do the dishes, but found himself back on Shu’s bed with Shu’s fingers pistoning in his ass and his mouth biting and kissing and licking until Kotetsu finally started to beg. “Shu, please, do it,” he cried out.

“Fist you, pretty? You want my fist inside you?”

“No! Your cock, shove your cock in me, now, damn it!”

“Ok, pretty, if you need my big cock fucking this sweet little hole of yours, you can have it.”

Kotetsu moaned as Shu’s fingers pulled out of him, and he felt the cool metal of Shu’s pierced cockhead at his asshole.

“Say it again, pretty,” urged Shu.

“Fuck me, Shu, put your cock in me,” urged Kotetsu. A high cry came from his mouth as Shu pushed in hard and deep, for language and thinking weren’t possible anymore. It was enough to feel, to breathe, to receive, to survive the sensation inside, outside, all sides. His orgasm hit hard, but Shu’s loving didn’t stop. Later, when finally his lover let himself go, Kotetsu let the dizziness and exhaustion just take him. The day passed, mostly in bed, and between dreaming and loving, and dreaming of loving, Kotetsu wasn’t quite sure just what memories were of reality and what were of dreams. It didn’t really matter though as all of them involved his very own dream man, his Shu. And happy endings, of course—very happy endings.
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ANBU, We Have a Problem