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Rumor Has It	By : MuseMistress Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1078 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Rumor Has It

Warnings- Anal AU HJ Lang Oral Preg SoloM Yaoi

AN- Look, I really have been writing a new chapter. I'm working on so many stories right now. Why the hell do I do this to myself?

Once again, I inform you at this story has been reposted because I don't remember my password or my correct user name for my account. Same story, same author, slightly different author name. I'm now kiss_me_deadly instead of Kiss_me_deadly with a capital K. But it comes with a brand new chapter. With italics and bold! And there may be some real live yaoi throw into the mix! As in not all in someone's head as a fantasy. See, told you there would be sex.

Now edited because of "wow, did I write that?" spelling mistakes.

The Best Laid Plans

Kiba

I am brilliant. I don't care what the hell anyone else says, I'm a genius.

Granted, I owed Shika for inspiring my depraved stroke of genius, but the rest was all me. Now if only I could get Shika to agree. Then everything would be perfect. I'd been trying to convince him ever since bio let out, but he was a cautious fish who didn't yet realize exactly how delicious the bait on my line was. Not even a nibble.

Gaara looked like he thought I was on crack.

Naruto scrutinized the sandwich he'd smuggled from the dining hall, deemed it edible, took a gigantic bite, and then said something that sounded like thounds li'a gu iduh to meh. I understood him perfectly as I'm used to conversations with my family at the dinner table. Shikamaru stared at him like he'd suddenly a third head and a set of horns. Gaara cocked his head thoughtfully, regarding Naruto as some sort of fascinating creature from the planet Mercury clicking in an unidentifiable language that he could understand if he studied long enough.

"Translation?"

"He said," I jumped in helpfully, both to Naruto's and my cause, "sounds like a good idea to me."

"He speaks Naruto," Gaara said in scholarly wonder. Sometimes, I wonder if I have it backwards and Gaara is actually the space alien observing human behavior for the first time. I mean, the guy has practically no eyebrows.

"His own stupidity makes him biased. It's a horrible idea."

"It's good and you know it."

"What I know is that you have to be crazy if you think for one second that I would agree to something like this. You're fucking nuts, Kiba. Nuts!"

Naruto swallowed. "Shika, did you just yell?"

"I couldn't help it. He infuriates me. You" he accused with a listless finger, "infuriate me."

"Come on. All we have to do is get them to spread a rumor that they think is a lie but actually turns out to be true. It undermines their entire system, their way of life."

"You shouldn't fuck with the system Kiba. You'll mess things up for everyone."

"The world as we know it will cease to exist," Gaara dead panned as he took a swig of the expensive alcohol he kept hidden under the bed. Friday nights at Lord Byron were dull. Every night at Lord Byron was dull, but Friday nights were worse because you knew that you should be out doing something. We coped by getting a little bit tipsy so that we were able to block out the lameness of our lives.

"It'll be an early apocalypse."

"You guys are seriously exaggerating. It's not that bad of an idea."

"Naruto, it's not the idea itself that's a bad thing," Gaara explained rationally. He handed the mostly full bottle off to Naruto. Vodka and turkey, what a delicious combination. "It's the aftershock of the idea that's going to be a bitch. For everyone. Lord Byron runs on lies, and Temari and her gaggle of gossiping geese are the fanning the flames. If Kiba goes spreading something that's true, it'll be anarchy."

"Anarchy?"

"Anarchy," Shikamaru affirmed with a deft head nod. "So tell your friend to stop being such a moron. Life's a bitch, get over it."

Listening to all of this just made me even more sure that I was doing the right thing. This wasn't about anarchy for the hell of it. This was about making a stand against an injustice that affected me personally. The rumor mill had reigned for far too long. "I don't care what you guys say, I'm doing this."

Shikamaru sighed. "There's a lot at stake Kiba. You're willing to put your sexuality on the line just so you can get back at Temari for calling you a slut? That's a big gamble. You're the one who was just saying not three hours ago that you didn't want anyone knowing you're gay. You can't go back in the closet when all of this is over."

I'd been doing a lot of thinking on that issue in the past hours. While it was true that I resented having to carry the "homo" label for the rest of my academic year, the ends justified the means. Ever since my arrival at Lord Byron, I've been treated like the scum of the earth because I don't live in a penthouse or have parents who drive a Bentley. I've always been taught that people are people no matter what condition they lived in and I'd never been around people who cared. Then reality smacked me in the face, cold, mean, brutally Gaara-like honest reality. It does matter to these people. They think it gives them the right to treat me like dirt. If I set myself even farther apart from the majority, I'd never recover. I'd probably never make any more friends. But the thing was, I didn't want to make friends with these people. Any one worth befriending was already clustered around me in the dining hall. These are my people. Outcasts. So really, all I would lose was a reputation I didn't have. My "good name" was already irreparably sullied. I'd just be a slut for men instead of women when I outed myself.

"It's for a worthy cause," I said decidedly.

"You're crazy," said Shika. "I want nothing to do with this."

Gaara poised his fingers like the steeple of a church. It was kinda funny seeing as the last place you'd find Gaara would be in a church, or any other religious institution. "If you're going to do this, then you're going to have to do this right," he said sagely. Gaara Baki, the wise man of ethical corruption. "You can't half-ass anything. My sister is a jackal with platinum highlights. She smells weakness like its blood."

"Yeah, I've seen her in action."

"Doesn't sound so hard, really," Naruto chimed in from his spot on the floor where he lay sprawled on his stomach. Gaara brought an area rug from home. It's bright blue with green polka dots. For someone so mordant, Gaara certainly did like color. "All you have to do is start a rumor about yourself and then make it turn out to be true right?"

"Not quite that simplistic," Gaara corrected. "He actually has to get them to start a rumor about him and then it has to turn out to be true. Getting them to spread the rumor we want is going to be the difficult part. He has to be careful. Asking some guy out on a date is not going to cut it. If he's open about it then it doesn't work as a rumor because its already accepted truth."

Naruto sighed and scratched his stomach. "I'm starting to think Shika is right about this, Kiba. It's more trouble than its worth."

I shook my head. Temari and her flock of followers were the cause of all my problems last year, humiliation and near expulsion. I couldn't let them get away scot-free. "So we'll have to plan out our every move. We can do it."

"I don't like all of this we talk," Shikamaru said from the foot of Gaara's bed. "I don't want to get involved in this stupidity."

"Give up already, Nara. You're already involved. If you don't want things to get ugly, put that giant brain of yours to work and start thinking of ways to make this work."

Gaara is lovely when he's blunt.

Reaching into his pocket for his cigarettes, Shikamaru pulled out and placed it between his lips, his fingers twitching on his lighter. We are going to be the cause of his imminent lung cancer. "Don't tell me you're going along with this crazy shit, Gaara. I thought you were the sensible one."

"I'm just looking out for his safety. We both know he's going to do it whether he has our blessing or not. We might as well lend him some sorely needed brain power."

I resented the implication that I needed help since I was the one who came up with the brilliant idea in the first place but since I wanted their help I didn't say anything. Shika was a genius and Gaara had an evil mind just like his sister. He delighted in creeping people out any way he could. That included telling his parents that he pierced his nipples and dick even though he really didn't and hanging a dead bird from the ceiling in his bedroom just to hear his mom shriek. He'd actually taken it to his taxidermist but it still freaked his parents out, not to mention the psychiatrist who read it in the journal he insists Gaara keep to chronicle his daily thoughts, ie mental process. Just to scare him, he also wrote that he was having erotic dreams after their sessions.

He's currently between psychiatrists.

Shikamaru lit his cigarette. It appeared that Gaara had pushed him over the edge. "Fuck this. You help him make a mess of things. I'm going to bed. Maybe when the alcohol wears off you'll come to your senses and leave Kiba to his own devices."

"He can't be left to his own devices. He's not smart enough. He'll never pull it off on his own."

Jerk off. Where did he and his candy cane striped toes socks get off saying that? "I'd be fine without your help Gaara." Not that I wanted to do this without his help, but come on. I have my pride to think of, here. "You don't have to be such a mother hen."

Naruto snorted and chuckled. "Gaara as a mother hen? That's a picture for the scrapbook."

Gaara chucked a pillow at him. Hard. Naruto let out an indignant squawk as it hit him square in the face. "Do you want me to help you or not?"

I was no fool. If Gaara was willing to help me, it was only for his own sick pleasure, not my well-being. I was sort of like the bird he strung from his ceiling to get under his parents' skins. All he did was watch the reactions and probably cackle on the inside liked a crazed hyena. Be that as it may, I wasn't about to turn down assistance. "Of course I do."

Shikamaru made a noise in his throat that sounded like a strangled chicken. "I give up. Later fuckers."

"He's so sweet, isn�t he?" Naruto said as Shika provided us with a great view of his departing ass.

"Yeah, he's fucking Mary Poppins."

"Jolly as old saint Nick," Naruto said, raising the bottle in a cheer.

As much as we joked about Shika's affinity with relentlessly uncompromising insensitivity, it was true. Shika said fuck a lot. It was his favorite word. People who said fuck that much were people who deal with life's bullshit by cutting it down as it pops up. There�s no better way to get your point across than a simple "fuck you." Shikamaru didn't humor anybody. I knew that he couldn't give damn about any of his fellow socialites, but I thought that his friends would be an exception to his all consuming apathy. At times, like this one, I know that I was wrong about him. When it all boiled down, Shikamaru was as selfish as Temari, Ino, Tenten, Sasuke, and anyone else I could conceivably name in this school. Gaara too, for all his help was appreciated, was a selfish creature because he was doing this for himself, not for me. This wasn't friendship, this was self-serving amusement.

And hey, I was guilty too. I wasn't doing it for the greater good of anybody. I was doing this for me and me alone. I could preach about an unjust system from here til kingdom come, but what I�m really after revenge. I didn't expect the system to crumble, not really. Three people, four if you count the reluctant Shikamaru, were not capable of bringing down Lord Byron's government. I was only looking to put a blemish on the record, make my mark so that everyone knows that the system wasn't invincible. And I was doing it for me and my petty, petty revenge because I knew that I'll feel better after I metaphorically smacked a bitch.

Selfish bastards of the world unite.

"The question still remains," Gaara said. "How do we get this rumor of yours started? And remember, subtlety is the best."

Naruto shook his head. "Man, I'm no good at subtlety." His words were accentuated by a long swill of vodka. "You sure you want me to help?"

"Not entirely," Gaara answered for me. Damn, but Naruto couldn't hold his liquor. Either that or he drank too much too fast. Judging by the amount left in the bottle, I was going with the latter. He was starting to look bleary eyed. Gaara noticed too. "Are you going to give that back?" he asked in amusement.

"Nope," he said simply, taking another gulp. I sensed a major hangover coming.

Naruto

I was fully aware that I'd been drinking too much by the time Gaara asked for the bottle. I meant to stop, though. You know, before that. It's just that after a quarter of the bottle was gone the voices started to sound funny, so I drank more to make them go back to normal. Then the ceiling started spinning a little. It felt like I was on a merry-go-round. I like merry-go-rounds.

Luckily, Kiba didn't mind me leaning on his shoulder for support. Besides, he was warm and he smelled like fur from his dogs. Cute, fuzzy puppies.

Actually, some of Kiba's dogs are big and scary and have lots of teeth. He showed me pictures. I like small dogs that don't pull you into mud puddles when you take them for a walk. Soft, small, fuzzy, doggies.

Kiba elbowed me in the rib and took the bottle out of my hands. "Do you think you can do that, Naruto?"

"Huh?" I mumbled as I lift my head. Kiba and Gaara were still talking about "The Plan" and mostly leaving me out. Not that I minded too much. I wasn't so sure I really wanted to help them. Kiba was going to get into so much trouble. I should go find Shika and we can go get drunk together. That'll fix it.

"All you have to do is not tell anyone what we're up to," he explained. Huh, Kiba was spinning a little too. "You know, in case Temari sics one of her goons on you."

"Goons," I said between laughter. Reminded me of baboons and their strange blue asses. "That's a funny word, i'n it?"

"You are so not with us," Kiba said as he pressed his palm to my forehead and gave a little push. Gravity ceased to be on my side and I fell on my side, giggling and thinking about baboons.

Gaara dangled his legs over the bed and scooted forward to get a better look at me. "Yup. He's further gone than we thought."

"Go to bed, Naruto," Kiba ordered me as he polished of the last of the very delicious vodka. He couldn't order me around, of course. He wasn't my mom. He was just Kiba who stole my bottle and I wanted it back.

"Gimme that," I muttered, words obscured by the polka-dotted carpet. If I looked really close, the polka dots were actually faces with eyes. Smiley faces. Except for that one. That one was sticking out it's tongue. "Your carpet doesn't like me, Gaara," I told him helpfully. He should get a new one.

I was suddenly hoisted up by the collar of my shirt. Gaara stared at me straight on, his almost non-existent eyebrows quirked in amusement. "Go to sleep, now."

Sleep. Sleep actually did sound like a good idea coming from Gaara. But not from Kiba, because he stole my bottle. How late was it anyway? "Sleep?" I inquire before answering myself. "Yeah. Sleep."

Gaara motioned to Kiba. I was on my feet before I knew it, one of their arms hooked through each of mine. "We're going to walk you to the door, now," Kiba informed me as we all took a step forward. Helpful chap. Always thinking of me. "Can you make it across the hall?"

"Yeah." It was only about ten feet away from the door. No worries. "I've got it, guys."

They both let go of me once I got right outside the door. They closed it behind me again. The ten feet diagonal to my room looked like it stretched out forever. But whatever. I'd been drunk before. All I had to do was walk until I hit wall. Shouldn't be too difficult.

A sharp pain in my shoulder indicated otherwise. I hadn't meant to hit the wall that hard. A gentle bump would have sufficed. Damn wall, being all solid and stuff. Why couldn't walls be made of jelly?

As I rubbed my shoulder, which was likely to bruise, I heard a voice somewhere off to the left. A familiar voice that I was having trouble placing. "Do you think you could stop knocking into walls, asshole," he said in a condescending tone. Also familiar. "Some of us are trying to sleep."

Condescending voice? Black hair? Right, Sasuke. My eyes focused better and I realized that yes, it is Sasuke and yes, he was annoyed. Didn't realize I was that loud when I bumped into the wall.

"Sorry," I apologized chipperly. He's not so scary when I'm drunk. I was more liable to hurt myself before he could hurt me, so fright wasn't high up on my list of things to pay attention to. Sasuke's chest, on the other hand, had my full attention. Made sense he slept without a shirt, cause he's sexy like that. Shirts ought to be illegal on people like him. It would make the rest of the world, including me, very, very happy. A sudden wetness on my lips let me know that's I'd unconsciously licked them. "'M, just a little tipsy."

"Are you, now?" Sasuke asked as he leaned against the door frame so that I could see his torso all the way to down the waistline of the pajama pants he wore extremely low on the waist.

Talking to me? Sasuke was talking to me? Wait, why was his shirt off? He usually slept with a t-shirt on. Must be hot in the room. It felt hot in the hallway.

"Vodka," I told him. "Good stuff."

To my surprise, Sasuke took a step closer. "Yes," he said as he looked up and down my body. "Good stuff."

Hinata

Ino was in front of the mirror practicing her pouty lips. She does that a lot. It must work, because Ino's been with more guys than I can count on my fingers and toes. "I think my lips are getting bigger," she said somewhat happily. "I have more pout."

"The only thing around here getting bigger is your ego," Temari returned from her spot on the bed. She was dressed in her choice attire, too-tight jeans that looked like they made sitting difficult, but of course, she managed. She's Temari. Practically superhuman. "You keep sleeping around and you're going to end up with either an std or a little Ino."

Ino snorted in an unladylike fashion. "It's called a condom Temari, and yes, I use them."

Temari waved her hand in dismissal. "Yes, I'm sure you remembered to use a condom on every one-night stand you've ever had. Newsflash honey, you aren't that bright."

Ino's hands flew to her hefty hips in haughty indignation. "I'm smart enough, Temari. You don't see any bulges around my middle do you?"

"Not yet." When Temari insulted someone, it didn't usually sound like an insult. It sounded more like a fact she shared with you, an exchange of unquestionable information like giving someone an address. It had none of the ferocity of Ino's rebuttal.

"Bitch."

"Whore."

Sakura sighed heavily. "She's not a whore, Temari. Do you have to be an instigator all the time?"

For as long as I can remember, my friends don't actually get along. We put up an undivided front for the rest of Lord Byron, but we don't mesh well behind closed doors. Temari hates Ino, Ino hates Sakura, Tenten hates Temari, and I'm always caught in the middle of their cat fights. I don't really like any of them, but we're friends by default, circumstance, and expectation. More accurately, I guess, we're "frenemies." The lines we tread are thin.

Temari turned her piercing eyes on Sakura. She had to be quaking in her heels. No one tell Temari to shut up. She's the queen and we are nothing more than court jesters to her. "I suppose you're right, Sakura," she said breezily. It's wrong to call Ino a whore."

Of course, as soon as I heard the word right in connotation to someone else's name, I knew something was afoot. Ino and Sakura must have sensed it as well, because they both visibly choked back a nervous swallow. Both excepting the worst, they were bracing for whomever it was Temari was about to attack. Even I, who had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation, was a little scared. Every bit of bravado is a show when it comes to Temari.

"After all," she went on blithely. As if she were having lunch with an old friend. She swung her legs over the bed, languidly posing like a feline resting on a tree branch. Such a pretty predator. "Ino has more than enough money. She does it for giggles, right Tenten?"

Tenten, minding her own business until this point, snapped to attention. There was a bit of bad history between Tenten and Temari. In the eighth grade, Temari "accidentally" spilled punch on Tenten's white dress during winter formal. She came with Tyler Vangrad, she left with Vincent Marino, Tenten's date, after she told him that Tenten was having lady problems. Tenten has hated her ever since, but rather than confronting her so-called friend and gaining a little bit of pride, she opted not to face the humiliation of boyfriend thievery alone and sacrificed her dignity for the sake of staying in Temari's circle. "She seems to like it," Tenten said with apologetic glance in Ino's direction.

No matter how much Tenten might hate Temari, it is always better to be in than out.

"Exactly. So as Sakura said, Ino. You are not a whore. You're just a slut."

A two-in-one shot. Sakura had now officially called Ino a slut and she isn't allowed to defend herself lest she pit herself against Temari. No one will even moderate intelligence pits themselves against Temari. She can ruin you with a few well-placed whispers to the right person. In her sophomore year, she got Dosu Kinuta expelled for possession of drugs that he didn't actually have. After seeing him helpfully hand a freshman girl sleeping pills for chronic insomnia, the same affliction from which her own brother suffers, it was a simple matter of replacing the Lunesta with Oxycotin from her mother's pharmacist. A quick overly loud word to a Tenten, a freshman at the time, near an open teacher's door and Dosu was out of Lord Byron without ever doing a single thing wrong. She made her success known to the rest of us when we entered the circle so that we're fully aware of the dangers that come with double-crossing her.

The tension in the room was strung taunt like a rubber band, ready to snap if someone made a wrong move. My fingers started twiddling automatically. It's one of my nervous ticks. The other one is stuttering, which is why I speak as little as possible. I don't like the way I sound, so unsure of myself. I'd certainly never be Temari, who wasn't at all unnerved by the pervasive silence in the room.

The tension did snap eventually, but not by a word and not at all viciously as I was expecting. It broke gently to the words of a love song. My ringtone. Blushing furiously and apologizing profusely, I reached into my sweater for my cell. Most likely it was my father making his weekly call to make sure I'm alright and that I haven't died of fright.

To my surprise, the caller was Neji, my cousin from Boston. Strange, Neji wasn't usually one for idle conversation. Either something extremely good or extremely wrong had happened. "Hello," I answered quietly. The girls were looking at me in curiosity, the tension from earlier dissipated completely. I hated talking in front of people, and the girls were definitely an audience.

"Do you have any idea where I am right now?" Neji's crisp voice came over the phone. Wherever he was, there was a lot of background noise.

"Switzerland?" I ventured hesitantly.

"Wrong. So very wrong."

"Neji, what's wrong? Did something happen?" He sounded distinctly agitated. Neji basically has four mood tones: complacency, boredom, agitation, and condescension. Condescension is the most common. Agitation comes second. "Where are you?"

"About forty five minutes away from you."

"You're in London?"

"Who's in London?" Sakura piped up excitedly.

"Yeah, who's Neji?"

I gave them a feeble hushing noise and tried to focus on the family problem at hand. Neji was not supposed to be in London. He was supposed to be in an all male boarding school in Switzerland, preparing for high society. "What are you doing in London?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I thought I was on my way to Switzerland, but then the jet touched down here in Heathrow."

That was certainly strange. Neji was a year older than me and had been going to the same boarding school since sixth grade. There was no reason for the jet to take a pit stop in London, none at all. "Are you at the airport right now?"

Neji hummed distractedly, cursing softly at something. "Just got in. I was just wondering if you knew anything about this. I'm guessing not since you sound as confused as I was. I had a hell of a time at customs since I had no idea why the jet let me off in London. Customs called security and security let me call Uncle and we finally got the whole mess figured out a few hours after I arrived. You didn't know either, then?"

"Know what?"

"I'm switching schools, apparently." There was a decisive edge of sardonic bemusement to his words. Really, that's just like my dad to wait until the very last minute. He expected us to adapt to surprises without so much as a by your leave. We had to be ready for anything, which of course I never was. Neji was getting really good at it. He adjusted to and accepted anything my dad threw at him with stoic countenance and a derisive laugh.

"You're coming to Lord Byron?" I squeaked in surprise. Of course dad wouldn't bother to tell me that my own cousin was coming to my school. He knew I hated surprises.

"Yes. And I only missed a week of classes," he drawled sarcastically. "That's Uncle for you. I should be there tomorrow." I pursed my lips at the bitter undertone I heard in that statement. I wished he wouldn't sound like that talking about my dad. He knew it put me in an awkward position. Luckily, he went on without further prompt. "There's a limo outside waiting to take me to a hotel for tonight. Just thought I'd give you the heads-up."

"Thanks," I said softly, aware that my audience was hanging onto every word. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Tomorrow," he affirmed.

As soon as I hung up the phone, I was assailed from four different directions

"Who's Neji?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"Isn't he your cousin?"

"Is he hot?"

The last question, of course, came from Ino. Temari smiled acordingly.

"Yes, Neji is my cousin. He's switching schools this year." And I wasn't answering that last question. That would be more than a little awkward. "It was a last minute thing."

"I remember Neji," Temari said thoughtfully. "He's a junior like Kankuro, right?"

"Yes." The sudden switch still didn�t make sense to me. Why would my father wait until junior year to take him out of Switzerland? Reputation-wise, Clarken Academy actually had a better academic standing. And Neji cared about his academics just as much as Father. "He should be in sometime tomorrow."

"He'd better be hot," Ino declared firmly. "There are too many ugly boys at this school for my liking. Lord Byron needs some eye-candy."

"You're just looking for a rebound after your last boyfriend."

Ino soured instantly. "Why do you have to keep bringing him up, Temari?"

Temari smirked. "Because your relationship with that piece of trash was the lowest point of your life thus far. It's my job, as your friend, to keep you from making mistakes like that again."

Sakura jumped to Ino's defense as Ino's shoulders slumped. "Neji comes from a good family, though," he said as she avoided Temari's gaze. "Your father would approve of a relationship with a Hyuuga."

Ino's last boyfriend was a middleclass boy from New Jersey. She tried to keep it a secret, but her mother found out and everything went sky high from there. She keeps saying that it was just a fling, but I caught her looking at a picture of him right before bed. She tore it up after I noticed.

"Relationship?" Temari dismised with a derisive laugh. "She just wants to jump him."

Alarmed, my head shot up so quickly that I might have damaged something in my neck. "You can't do that," I jumped in speedily. "Not with Neji."

Ino, angered by the combination of Temari's ridicule and my opposition, took on a steely glare in her blue eyes. Temari might have been the alpha female of the group, but Ino had her own sharp edges and her own brand of savvy. She knew how to get what she wanted just as well as Temari and what she wanted right now was a little bit of backbone returned. Above all else, Ino knew how to use her body to her advantage. She was a heartbreaker with a long resume. For all her cunning and intellect, Temari was not much good when it came to boys. Even with Vincent Marino back in the eight grade, she'd used lies and manipulation. Ino could make guys want her on sex appeal alone and could make them tell her pretty much anything between the sheets. "We'll just see what he says about that," she retorted steadily.

I bit my tongue, agreeing with my silence. Maybe Ino could make Neji want her. I doubted it, but stranger things have happened.

Sasuke

It wasn't luck that Naruto just so happened to be drunk. I'd been waiting to catch him plastered so that I could launch my plan. And boy, did he look plastered. The glazed look in his eyes was more than enough to give me a good idea of how inebriated he was.

Hence, my conspicuous lack of clothing.

Naruto blinked rapidly, his muddled brain trying to figure out exactly what I meant. "You've had that before?"

Oh, this was going to be easier than I thought. Sidling forward in order to really begin, my hips brushed against his side in the most provocative manner I knew how to pull off. Judging by the wide-eyed expression on his face, it was plenty. "No." My hand trailed up his arm. "Not yet."

Naruto took a step to the side and promptly tripped over his legs. Sprawled out on the floor, he looked up at me with such an innocent expression that I wouldn't have been surprised had he suddenly asked me why the sky was blue. It had been a while since I'd been that innocent. I'm young, but I've always been precocious. Unlike him.

"I'm supposed to be going to bed," he tired to inform me. Had he been sober he probably wouldn't have said that. Or maybe he would have. I keep forgetting not to give him too much credit when it comes to brains.

"All alone?" I knelt beside him just close enough to be invasive. "Or did you want some company?"

"N-n-n-no," he stuttered out. "Alone."

I laid a gentle hand on his chest, feeling the solidity of his chest as I pushed him down to the ground. He was too shocked to say anything. "That's a shame," I crooned as I swung my body so that I was straddling his hips. "I was hoping you could let me try some of that vodka you were talking about. The good stuff."

His hipped rocked up under me. Even in his inebriated state he knew what I was talking about. "That was pretty good, vodka," he managed to murmur as I took his hand into mine and rubbed the callouses on his fingertips. The last guy I was with had calluses on his fingers too, the Italian that I had a thing with over the summer. It was nice to feel them on my skin again.

"The best," I murmur back, placing his hand on my collarbone and dragging it down slowly, touching myself without touching myself. His skin was incredibly tan next to mine, his fingers incredibly rough as they brushed over my nipple. His breath hitched as he watched. "Do you have any more?"

He shook his head, entranced by his fingers on the nipple, which was tightening into hardness with each passing second. I let him have free reign over them, just enjoying the sensation of being touched for a little while. He had good hands, good strong hands. I leaned over, bracing my arm on either side of his head. His blonde hair was coarse, just like his skin. I let my lips move against his as I spoke. "Do you mind if I have a quick taste?"

Grinning as he nodded, I gave his bottom lips a careful nip, followed by a lick to soothe away the sharp pain I'd caused. My tongue brushed against the solid line of his teeth as he shifted his head. Taking that as an invitation, I dipped my tongue into his mouth. He moaned into the kiss which almost wasn't a kiss, hands coming up to my shoulder. His saliva tasted like vodka. And turkey.

It was just like Thanksgiving at the Uchiha house.

Luckily, all thought of my family flew out of my head as Naruto wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me down for a real kiss. Wouldn't be good to think about my drunken uncle Eddie while making out with a Naruto. Our tongues tangled wetly as his erection pressed into mine. I almost hadn't expected him to respond. Not that I was disappointed or anything. Far from it.

Oh God, I thought as his tongue moved to my throat. Jesus, even his tongue was rough, like a cat or something. Mm, felt good. Really good, that combination of lip and tongue over my skin. I had to bite back a moan. We were, after all, in the middle of the hallway. Fuck, we were in the middle of the hallway! This really wasn't the place to be doing this. If we were going to do anything, which we weren't supposed to. That hadn't exactly been part of the plan, not to mention illegal in a lot of places. The plan had been less involved. It was just supposed to be one kiss and some touches, not this. And I was the one supposed to be doing the molesting. I was supposed to be taking advantage of him, not the other way around. Somewhere in my mind I remembered that I was supposed to be the one taking advantage of him. This really was not going according to plan.

All coherent thought flew out of my brain as he bit down on my neck, returning nip for nip and apology for apology as he flattened his tongue over the abused area. I started panting. Couldn't help it. His tongue kept moving lower over my body. We both shifted so that he was resting on his elbows and I was leaning forward just enough so that his mouth was level with my chest. His erection pressed fully into mine so that with every minute movement we created just enough friction to make me gasp. And since his body rose up a little each time his leaned forward to flick his tongue over one of my nipples, there was plenty of friction. At that point, I was perfectly willing to screw the plan and just go with it.

Until I looked up and saw a pair of haunted aqua eyes beneath a mop of red hair.

Gaara

Let it be said that all I wanted was a glass of water. I had the cup in my hand to prove it.

What I didn't want was the near pornographic image of one of my best friends and my mortal enemy getting ready to go at it in the middle of the hallway. So much for being well-bred and proper.

God, if only the Uchiha fan girls could see him now, writhing under the tongue of a guy. It was no wonder Sasuke didn't keep steady girlfriends.

All I knew was that I never asked to see something like that. It disturbed me on so many levels. I've seen my fair share of porn, but never live and never staring anyone I knew personally, much less one of my friends. I'm no stranger to male on male intimacy, but this particular male on male intimacy involved Sasuke. I'm not supposed to see him like that. It paves the way for thoughts that I just don't want to have involving Sasuke's nipples and a lot of gasping. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. I just didn't expect to see something like that when I stepped outside my bedroom. Too much hitting me too quickly, like I was slapped in the face with a dildo.

Fuck, I had a hard-on. No, bad. This was very bad. Sasuke was not hot. Even if his mouth was open and panting and his eyes were half-lidded beneath his bangs and his back arched in pleasure. . .

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

Down, little Gaara, down!

Luckily, Sasuke threw his head back long enough to catch a glimpse of me. His "oh fuck" expression almost made up for the trauma he'd inflicted upon my poor eyes and mind.

Okay, not so much my eyes. But my mind. My mind was suffering.

With all the dignity one has left after getting caught nearly doing the nasty is public spaces, Sasuke rolled off of Naruto and got to his feet, studiously avoiding eye contact. Dazed, Naruto peered up at him through half-closed eyelids, breathing shallowly. "What about the vodka?" he asked in a near whine.

"You've had enough," Sasuke replied evenly. Amazing he could recover so fast. He still had a very conspicuous erection, however. Those were thin pajama bottoms. Thin and clingy and probably made of silk.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

He looked up at me quickly, obsidian eyes issuing a mandate. He didn't want me to say anything, now, or later. Sasuke thought he could use his intimidation factor on me, pull out his popularity trump card and force me into silence so that I didn't ruin his plans with Naruto, whatever and however petty they were. He didn't want me to expose him for the homo he was. Because he may have had a lot of "friends," but I had a different set of connections. I'd known him since we were little kids with nannies. I had Temari and her method of secret dropping. I had ways of letting this get back to his father.

He knew. And he knew I could do it without hesitance. Sasuke only glared that intensely when something was at stake, be it his pride, respect, or reputation. Because right behind that glare was the fear that the perfect little lie I'd stumbled upon would come crashing down around his pretty little head. I could see it in the way he backed up a few step. The steel in his gaze, the gaze warning me to keep quiet, was all in vain, a front. We both knew that he couldn't do a thing to stop me if I really wanted to. I was not scared of him. I never had been and I never would be. I was a danger to him for that reason alone.

That, and I liked to screw with people just as much as he did. However petty that might be.

Of course, telling Temari or his father didn't sound that appealing to me. Not yet, anyway. I had better ideas in store for Sasuke Uchiha. Much better.

TBC

Hah, you thought there would be sex in this chapter! Sorry, I lied. Maybe next chapter. You may vent your frustrations in review form.

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