Avenger's Choice | By : Shakirah Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1022 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Pairing: SasuNaruSasu with
other side pairings mostly implied.
Genre: Drama and angst with romance
all mixed into a big pot.
Rating: Hard R/ NC-17 depending on your take.
Warnings and Spoilers: Mild violence, language and graphic sexual
situations. But no spoilers if you’re
at least past Sasuke’s defection, however there are obscure references to
events past that, but nothing concrete.
Status: 7/10
Disclaimer: Naruto isn’t
mine… I just play with the boys because it’s fun.
Summary: Vengeance was
always a deep part of Sasuke, something Naruto had to accept when they became
lovers. But now that Uchiha Itachi is
dead, the blond shinobi discovers that the real battle to become the most
important part of Sasuke’s life has just begun.
Author’s Notes: Wow, chapter seven… can’t believe
we’re at this point already. Sorry the
update took a bit longer than usual, this chapter was very difficult to write
because everything in the fic leads up to this. Especially the Sasuke/Neji scene. If you ever thought Sasuke was a prick before he was a boy scout
compared to how he behaves in that scene.
There’s a lot going on under the surface so before you get your cross
out to crucify the Uchiha give him the benefit of the doubt, though I admit he
doesn’t deserve it all the time.
I’m not sure if this is my favorite chapter… I still love
five and three, but I will say I really like the way things come together in
this chapter. Thanks as always for
reading, and I hope you enjoy. ^^
One little note, “ten” in Japanese can mean “heaven” or
“sky”. And although Tenten’s name
doesn’t have any particular meaning I capitalized on that fact in this
chapter.
Chapter 7: A
Question of Control
“Naruto had a visitor.
He asked me to let you know he’d be back as soon as he finished seeing
him.”
“Him?” Sasuke
met pretty green eyes.
“It was most likely Kakashi-san,” Sakura answered
simply. “I saw Kakashi this morning
before I came in for the day. He came
in to visit you earlier, didn’t he?”
Sasuke didn’t bother to answer her.
“Kakashi isn’t what I’d call the “talkative” type so I’m sure Naruto
will return soon.”
Sasuke glanced out the window. If he didn’t have much time left it seemed rather senseless for
this conversation to continue in this stupid way. “Sakura.” Sasuke could
see Sakura’s eyebrows lift up out of the far corner of his eye. He had her attention. “What was it that finally made you give up
on me?”
“Sasuke?”
“Was it that you realized you couldn’t understand me, or
was it something else I did? I’ve
always been cold to you, haven’t I?”
“Where is all of this coming from, Sasuke? I don’t…”
Sasuke shot her a hard glare. “At least Kakashi and Naruto don’t tiptoe around the issue,
Sakura. I’m dying and you say the same
things you’ve always said to me. It’s
annoying. I don’t need your
patronization.”
“What would you have me say instead, Sasuke? Don’t die?”
Sakura was looking everywhere else but at him. “You’ve had those avenger eyes for weeks, since the first jounin
briefing about Uchiha Itachi being spotted alone in Fire Country. I wasn’t able to stop you before; I could
only hope Naruto would be able to stop you this time around.” Sakura let out a shallow breath.
“I should have guessed you’d say something like that,
Sakura.” Sakura still didn’t look at
him and let her eyes drift over to the window.
“It’s not that I don’t understand you, Sasuke. It’s that I understand and still can’t do
anything to get through to you. Not
like Naruto can. A part of me, maybe
that young, foolish part, thinks maybe I did get to you a little back
then. I always wondered why after I
pleaded with you to stay you said “thank you” the way you did. Maybe I should be a better friend and not
rely on Naruto all the time when it comes to you. And now that it’s come to this I probably shouldn’t keep
pretending everything has always been perfect between us. But we’re not kids anymore and I don’t know
any other way.”
“If that’s how it is then…” Sasuke looked back at the clear sky. The calm before the storm.
He could feel it in the ache in his bones it was going to rain
tonight. “I’ll pay you the same
courtesy I paid Kakashi. Get out of my
room.”
Sakura let a bitter, tight smile trim her mouth as she
looked back at him. “I suppose this is
what I get for finally saying it after all this time.” She gave him a calculated look, but there
wasn’t the hurt behind it Naruto had let shine through every time Sasuke lashed
out over the last few days. “If you
want me to go I will. Though I never
did give your question an answer, Sasuke.”
“I didn’t ask it expecting one.”
“What’s the point of asking a question if you don’t want
it to be answered?” Sasuke felt his
heart flicker just a bit. Did Naruto
tell her about the question I… “A true friend doesn’t give up, Sasuke. But she also understands the importance of
stepping aside and not looking to someone else to be strong on her behalf. And besides, no one can care for you the way
he could anyway. If I ever doubted that
for a minute he proved that a hundred times over these last few days.” She smiled.
“But he made a believer out of me, Sasuke. A long time ago.”
Sasuke let his gaze fall back onto the window and the
nearly cloudless sky. “That time…I
didn’t know what else to say to you, Sakura.
There didn’t seem to be any words left after you spoke. All I could say was “thank
you”.”
The brunet didn’t look to see Sakura’s reaction but the
softer tone of voice gave him some indication.
“Rest until Naruto comes in, Sasuke.”
She left the room without another word.
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Naruto’s grip around his teacup tightened slightly. “That’s…”
“I can say no more without potentially threatening the
integrity of the mission.” The blond
jounin met pale, expressionless eyes.
“I should be going then.
Naruto.”
“Neji…I…” He
couldn’t help himself, even though he knew well it was a bad habit, Naruto
couldn’t help himself. He bit roughly
into his lip.
“You shouldn’t do that, Naruto.” Neji caught the tip of a tanned chin with four delicate
fingers. “I don’t wish to see you hurt
yourself. But if you continue to do
such a thing it is certain you’ll draw blood.”
Naruto released his teeth from his lip and gave the teen
sitting across from him a hard look.
Neji released his hold. Naruto
swallowed…how had they ended up here…how had it come to this? And what made it worse was the enormity of
it all; Neji’s words and the impending journey to a foreign country that waited
for him in a few brief hours. From the
limited information the other jounin could tell him it sounded like it
was quite possible that ninja from their village who Naruto worked alongside
would never be returning home.
Maybe even Neji himself.
“I can only trust in the fates now, Naruto.” He gave the blond a pointed look. “Though I suppose you would probably tell me
that I should make my own fate.”
Naruto shook his head, frantic, the conversation going on
without him. “You…you’re just going to
go then…you’re not going to…”
“I’ll be gone for a few months, if not longer. And there is the chance I might not return
to this place at all. I do not fear the
path; I walk it with a clear resolve.
We live a dangerous kind of existence and death can be an ally just as
easily as it can be an enemy. I just
wished to see you before my departure.
Naruto.” Neji stood. “I appreciate your time.”
Naruto frowned.
“Neji…I..” the long haired brunet wasn’t looking at him. “Isn’t there…isn’t there a reason you wished
to meet me here at the teahouse? What
you were about to say before…you cut yourself off…you…”
“I do not wish to speak such dangerous words.” Neji’s back was completely to him now. “Words that are more dangerous than the
mission I am about to lead.”
“Dangerous.”
Naruto got up. “Sometimes…
sometimes I just don’t…I don’t understand you, Neji.” Naruto looked down at his feet.
This was a moment he had imagined in the darkest part of himself, a
moment he feared and anticipated with a heavy heart. For a moment there Naruto was sure Neji would say it…that the
pink elephant in the room would finally be spoken about…that there wouldn’t be
this tension between them filled of things left unsaid.
“Take care of yourself for me, Naruto. Konoha’s peace is ever fleeting, and no one
knows what threats lie beyond tomorrow’s horizon.”
Naruto swallowed harshly.
“You told me a long time ago that a shinobi’s life is brief and that the
worst thing you could do is never say how you truly feel. Was that a lie? What if you never come back…what if…”
“I also said your happiness was my top priority. Naruto.”
Naruto glanced up. “This is the
way it is. There isn’t a need to make
it more difficult.”
“I…” Damn it…
what am I…why do I feel this…why do I feel so…so guilty…
“It’s enough, Naruto.”
Neji glanced over his shoulder.
“Your friendship is enough.
Don’t regret loving him for my sake.”
He smirked sadly. “I am not one
who accepts pity of any kind.”
“Loving him…” I…it
was there…that feeling… that feeling for Sasuke but…. I never once used that
word. Naruto met the taller
jounin’s eyes.
“There is no need to wear such a serious face,
Naruto. It doesn’t suit you. Besides, the fates have given me another
chance at heaven.” Heaven…does he
mean…Tenten? “Now I must go. There are still things I need to do before I
leave tonight.”
Neji…I…The longhaired teenager started walking out of the half
empty teahouse. I…if I’m going to do
it I can’t hesitate. “Just a
second, Neji.” Neji stopped, his hand
on the door. Naruto took the chance to
get in front of him.
With a mind clouded in uncertainty Naruto leaned over and
gave the other jounin a small kiss on the cheek. He pulled away as quickly as he had moved in and then met pupil-less
eyes. “You come home safe, Hyuuga
Neji. You come home safe because I
swear on my dream to be hokage I don’t want to see any of my important people
die.”
Neji inclined his head, and kept his eyes lowered. “Then for the sake of your dream,
Naruto. I will.”
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It wasn’t that he was keeping track of the time…
Time stood still while he wasted away lying in this
hospital room. It was just…the only
thing that kept time moving forward, that broke up the monotony of it all was
Naruto. Talking to the plants and
telling them to grow, arguing with him, holding his hand and squeezing when the
pain got bad. Even when they lapsed
into long silences, both just looking at the unfaltering sky through the
window, there was an odd sort of soothing something about it all, which was
just ridiculous because Naruto was too obnoxious and idiotic to be soothing.
So no, it wasn’t that he was keeping track of time. He just wondered why Naruto had yet to
return. A visit from Kakashi didn’t
take a long time. Naruto’s father-type
had always been Iruka anyway so Sasuke was fairly certain the older jounin’s
lectures would be far briefer. Besides,
Iruka playing a fatherly role to Naruto made more sense…he had lost his parents
at an early age and fucked up in school looking for attention. And the added bonus was he was a teacher,
and for whatever reason he actually really cared about the blond. Sasuke was sure Iruka would take care of
Naruto after he was gone…he…
Naruto should be back by now. What is Kakashi doing with him?
Or saying to him…that damned Kakashi…fuck him…fuck him and his mind
games.
None of this was Kakashi’s business in the first
place. What right did he have
interfering this way? This was Sasuke’s
choice. Naruto didn’t even get a say.
Then why did you ask him to give you a reason…
But how could Naruto?
Who could? There wasn’t a
reason. This would all be finished
soon. A few more hours. And then a few more days after that. Sasuke could stop going over this
again. He had made the right choice;
there wasn’t a need to second-guess it now.
Hesitation was a sign of weakness and he had done everything in his
power to kill that weakness inside of him a long time ago.
Of course Naruto was the “bad rash” of weaknesses…
creeping up…latching on…sinking his mouth onto him…it hardly seemed fair. After everything he had gone through why
should he want Naruto with him now?
Another question he would probably never find an answer to.
Sasuke glanced out the window. “Did you get lost again, Dobe-kun?” The knock on the door was quick, the door handle turned just as
the sound died. It took Kakashi long
enough to finish with you, didn’t it. Naruto.
“Uchiha.”
Even in this state…even with how weak his body was the
ninja blood that flowed through his veins had all his senses on full
alert. Sasuke sat up straight in the
hospital bed and his dark eyes crawled over every inch of the older jounin who
stood in the doorway. It took a moment
to stop himself from yanking the IV out (something he had done on numerous
other occasions in this hospital) and getting up with a fractured leg, a
sprained wrist, and broken arm to cause severe injury to the man standing
before him.
After all, every good shinobi knew a ninja near death was
twice as dangerous as one in good health.
It was the body’s last bit of fight coupled with the fact that there was
nothing left to lose, which made a volatile mix. And even though Sasuke had used that to kill Itachi he didn’t
doubt for one moment that if he truly wanted to he could do Hyuuga Neji real
damage right this very instant.
It seemed Neji didn’t doubt that either, or at the very
least let the idea cross his mind as he closed the door and stayed close to
it. For several long moments both men
remained motionless, waiting for the other to do something until Sasuke finally
pressed his back firmly against his pillows and willed himself not to continue to
act like a caged, wild beast. He
doubted Neji would act so unrefined, and further more if he stayed riled up
this much it would make it impossible to plan his moves effectively.
“Where is Naruto?”
The teen’s words were clipped and cold but he didn’t allow any further
anger to slip into his voice. If Neji
was here that meant he had seen Naruto already; he wouldn’t be stupid enough to
come looking for him in this room.
“Resting. He
clearly hasn’t been sleeping for several nights and I thought a forced nap
would do him some good.” A forced
nap…so he was behind Naruto not coming back.
“I don’t recall ever giving you permission to presume
anything about Naruto, Hyuuga. You
don’t see me telling your fuck toy how to fix the buns on top of her head.”
Violet-tinted eyes became slender and fatal. “I won’t dignify that with a comment. But know this. If I wasn’t concerned about Naruto we would have settled this
between us years ago.”
“Don’t take my mercy for weakness. Things weren’t settled before because the
death of the supposed genius Hyuuga branch family member would have soiled my
hands.”
“Your ego would have suffered the only death,
Uchiha.” Neji took a step closer. “I didn’t come in here to listen to the
ranting of a half-dead traitor. Arguing
over what might have been if we ever squared off is a waste of what little time
I plan on spending in your presence.”
Sasuke smirked enigmatically. “You say all that, Hyuuga…but when the chips are all down and the
smoke’s cleared he still won’t fuck you.”
Neji’s implacable glare would have stopped a lesser man right there, but
Sasuke had never settled for the lion’s tail when he could get the head. “You hate me because no matter what you
do…what you say…I’m still the one Naruto decided on. You despise that he’d forgive me anything, that he’d stay with me
when you’re obviously the better choice.”
“It was never my place to question his judgment.”
“Why the hell not?
Anyone could see I’m wrong for him.
And here he is, clinging to me pathetically.”
“There’s nothing pathetic about him and his loyalty
to you, Uchiha.”
“Sure there is.”
Sasuke chuckled mockingly. “Why
the hell do you think I kept him around this long? If he wasn’t such a good lay I would have cut him off years
ago.”
“Your words fall on deaf ears.”
“I doubt that very much.
We both know what you’re doing here.
But even with me saying that deep down you know this attempt at scoring
brownie points with him won’t work. I
can’t really say I blame you though, you’ve tried everything else; it was only
a matter of time before you reached this level of desperation.”
“You might have managed to hurt Naruto but I quite assure
you there isn’t anything you could say to hurt me, Uchiha. If you’re ready to grow up we can conduct
the rest of this discussion as two adults.”
“There isn’t any more discussion to conduct. I’ll be dead by the end of next week and the
world will collapse in on itself before he’ll ever want you.”
“I already told you it was never my place to question
his…”
“Bullshit. You
think about him when you’re fucking her, don’t you?” Sasuke smirked again.
“You imagine how hot and tight he is…how slick and wet it’d be…and you
know something, Hyuuga, it’s better than you could ever imagine.”
“Stop revealing more of your thoughtlessness just to get a
rise out of me, I’m not going to…”
“He’s dumb as shit too; he’d do anything I wanted him to
without thinking about it…the other day when I made that crack about his mother
I thought for sure he was going to start crying…but he came bouncing right back
with that big stupid grin on his face.”
“I won’t tell you again to stop it, Uchiha.”
“A person would probably do damned near anything for a
decent fuck, don’t you think?
Especially with someone who doesn’t ask questions.” Sasuke met hard eyes. “Do you know what that’s like having someone
that foolish around all the time?
What’s her name an idiot too?
Does she know you wish she were someone else? Or did you tell her you wanted to stick your cock up Naruto’s…”
“I said STOP IT.”
Sasuke started chuckling again, ignoring the pain in his ribs as he did
so. Neji approached the bed with
calculated steps. “I assure you I’m not
nearly as forgiving as Naruto is, Uchiha Sasuke. I would advise against saying anything else.”
“You’re almost as pathetic as he is, Hyuuga. You really care for him, don’t you?” Neji stopped walking. “That’s it exactly, isn’t it? You’re in love with him. How pitiable.”
“Are you in love with him?” Neji’s eyes were narrowed once again. “I’d give my life for him gladly, any day,
Uchiha. But this isn’t about me. This is about you. How you feel about Naruto and how Naruto
feels about you. That’s what
this is about, not a procedure, not life or death. You and Naruto. And if
you stopped letting your trepidation rule you for once you’d see that.” Neji took another step closer. “I don’t need these eyes to see your fear,
Uchiha. You’re reeking in it.”
“The only fear in this room is that you’ll bleed to death
before anyone finds your lifeless body.”
“Fear is the easiest emotion to interpret. The more you try to bury it the simpler it
is to read on you. The lone avenger of
the Uchiha clan, never letting anyone or anything stand in the way of the fate
you’ve written for yourself. And yet
you run from this. Naruto is a better
man than either of us will ever be, and do you know why? Because he took the hate and mistreatment he
received in his childhood and transformed it into something beautiful. He uses it as a catalyst to change the fates
of anyone he touches. His capacity to
love and forgive and understand those that would oppose him or find themselves
lost in darkness is something to be emulated and you have any audacity to call
him pathetic?”
Neji turned away.
“I’d do nearly anything to have what you have, Uchiha Sasuke. Despite our differences I always thought you
were smarter than most, but you treat the greatest gift anyone could ever give
you with practically no regard. There
isn’t a question of who is the pathetic one in your relationship, Uchiha. Why don’t you think about that the next time
you deliberately hurt Naruto and he finds it in himself to forgive you
again.”
“Such a touching speech, Hyuuga.” Sasuke’s eyes were at the window. “You’ve truly moved me.”
“Naruto even managed to find the good in you, Uchiha. A side of you most people in this world
would probably say doesn’t exist in the first place.” Neji gave him a glance that Sasuke caught out of the edge of his
eye. “Naruto has a lot more to lose in
all this than you do, but perhaps I was wrong about you. Perhaps your fear will continue to run your
life. Or what’s left of it.”
Neji left.
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Naruto burst through the hospital room door, not caring to
knock. After helping Sasuke go to the
bathroom he was sure there was nothing else between them that needed to be
resolved. And besides, he didn’t have
any more time to waste so if there was another issue he’d just meet it head
on.
He could only hope Neji hadn’t…
Sasuke is always telling me about this… being too
trusting…letting my guard drop around people I feel safe with…it’s a damned bad
habit…and look where it got me… how could Neji do this…I thought he was my
friend. I won’t ever forgive Neji if he
came in here and got Sasuke upset…what if Sasuke hates me for…
“You’re fired up.
Your visit with Kakashi inspire you?
Naruto?” The blond made a
face. Sasuke was staring up at the
ceiling, propped against his pillows.
“You’re not usually this excited. But the same thing happened yesterday when you came back from
seeing Kakashi.”
What the… what makes him think I went to see Kakashi? I’ve been gone for over two hours…I don’t
understand. “Sasuke…what are you…”
“Sakura told me he came to visit you. Didn’t you ask her to tell me you’d be back
when you were finished?”
That’s right I told Sakura to tell Sasuke I was…but that
was hours ago… Kakashi doesn’t talk that much… at all.
And didn’t Neji come in here? I
must have missed something. “I didn’t
think I was going to take so long, Sasuke…I got sidetracked a bit…you’re not
mad at me are you?”
The Uchiha heir’s dark eyes were staring at the
cloud-covered view outside. “Did you
eat?”
“Well, Sakura-chan brought me something; she went on a
long lunch, I guess after she came to see you.
She left take-out in my room for me.”
While I was sleeping. She
probably left Sasuke’s room and went straight to lunch. And I guess she didn’t see Neji because he
had already left. Neji must have not
come in here…Sasuke would have said something by now if…
“Distracted much?
Dobe-kun?” Naruto focused on
Sasuke at the sound of that teasing nickname.
“No, I just had a lot on my mind. That’s all.
I am sorry I didn’t get back sooner, Sasuke. I said I wouldn’t leave your side and I was
gone for a long time.” Naruto hopped
over to his chair and slid into it, leaning the crutches on their familiar spot
against the wall. “You can be angry at
me if you want, Sasuke. I don’t mind.”
Sasuke moved his gaze from the window to Naruto with a
slight movement of his eyes. “Seems
pretty pointless to be upset at something so trivial after everything that’s
happened. Don’t you think?”
Naruto nodded solemnly.
“Yeah, I guess we spent enough moments making each other mad to last a
lifetime.” Naruto frowned to
himself. “Bad word choice. Sorry.”
“Why do you apologize all the time?” Sasuke was looking back up at the ceiling, a
blank, absent kind of look lining his pale features. “Just because the words aren’t said doesn’t mean the thought
isn’t there behind it. You sound
desperate apologizing so much. Besides,
being gone longer than you anticipated isn’t going to sway me one way or another
about the procedure, Naruto.”
Naruto shrugged without thinking about the movement. “It’s not about campaigning, Sasuke. I’m just tired of the back-and-fourth
between us. Anything to avoid another
altercation I guess. And it can’t be
good for you to get upset given the way things are now. I’d like to avoid that if at all possible.”
Sasuke rolled over, away from him, his back to the blond
ninja. “It’s not your fault you
know. I bet you wouldn’t be apologizing
so much if you realized that.”
“Realized what?
What nonsense are you talking about now, Sasuke?”
“If I die. It’s not
your fault. It’s not your fault it took
you however long to regain consciousness.
It’s not your fault you didn’t convince me about the procedure. None of it was ever your fault. It was never about you, Naruto.” Sasuke let out a slow, jagged breath, his
back moving with the motion. “You won’t
be failing me.”
The younger teen passed calloused fingers through blond
hair. “I’d be failing me, Sasuke.” Naruto’s voice took on a bitter edge. “And in a lot of ways that’s a lot worse
than failing you could ever be. But
thanks for the vote of confidence.”
Sasuke glanced over his shoulder, meeting a sheepish grin. “You said “if” you die,” Naruto
clarified. “I must be getting through
to you somewhat.” Sasuke moved his head
so he wasn’t looking at him anymore. “I
won’t lose to you, Sasuke.”
“We agreed this morning we wouldn’t talk about it anymore
because it’s just something to fight about.”
“I know. I didn’t
forget your question to me either. I
still have some time left. And it’s
never over until it’s over.”
“It’s over now, Naruto.”
The blond’s eyebrows furrowed as he bit into his lip. “I’m taking a nap. One of the nurses came in just before and gave me another dose of
medication. It’s starting to kick
in. I’ll be asleep in a minute or
two.”
Naruto eased off his lip.
“That’s fine, Sasuke. You need
your rest anyway.”
“So do you.”
“Not as much as…”
Sasuke rolled onto his back again.
It seemed he was most comfortable sleeping that way. Not just due to the cracked ribs and his
broken arm, the blond reasoned. For the
last three years Naruto lay on top of Sasuke while the brunet slept on his back
so the blond just as well assumed the older jounin had grown accustomed to it
after all this time.
“You look like dead-man walking over there, Naruto. When’s the last time you got some sleep?”
The younger jounin blushed. Maybe I should just tell him the truth. About Neji coming by…I feel bad…it’s almost
like I’m lying to him. I don’t want to
fight but… “Sasuke…” The blond took a harsh swallow.
“This isn’t the final exam to graduate from the academy,
Naruto. You don’t need to think so hard
about it.” Sasuke rolled his eyes to
the left, so he could look at the other teen more directly. “You’re the kind of guy that needs mothering
all the time. Dobe-kun.”
“Oi, shut the hell up, Sasuke. I do not. No one told you
to remind me to eat or to sleep or anything else. You have a lot of nerve thinking I need help when you’re worse
off than I am.”
“I should be worse off than you. I don’t have the kyuubi inside of me. Though I guess it’s not all it’s cracked up
to be if you still have your foot wrapped up in that cast.”
“At least it’s just my foot. A broken arm and a fractured leg: you’re a complete wreck,
Jackass.”
“These are battle scars.
That foot of yours is a product of clumsiness. What kind of halfwit ninja falls out of a tree? You didn’t even stay conscious long enough
to fight and you still managed to get all banged up. You’re such a little idiot.”
“I told you to shut up, Sasuke. I won’t…” Naruto
stopped. The brunet was smirking at
him. Sasuke. Naruto grinned slightly and took the
other teen’s hand. “Just go to
sleep. I’ll finish yelling at you
later.”
“She gave me a pretty heavy dose. I’ll be out for a while.” Sasuke’s eyes slid closed. He squeezed Naruto’s hand a bit. The blond squeezed back. If Sasuke was in pain it was better the
nurse gave him a heavier dose. Even if
that meant Sasuke would be sleeping for a longer period of time while his body
adjusted to the drug. Sasuke squeezed
harder, but he kept any signs of discomfort off his face.
“Sasuke,” Naruto reassured softly, rubbing his thumb in a
small circle against the backside of the older teen’s hand. It took a few moments before Sasuke eased up
on the constant pressure. Naruto moved
his free hand against Sasuke’s temple, pushing back soft bangs as he worked his
fingers into the scalp.
“The way my body feels…” Naruto was startled by Sasuke’s
words, but didn’t still his rubbing motion, “…I’ll probably be asleep the rest
of the afternoon.”
“You say that like I have anywhere else to be right
now. We said before I was gonna worry
about you either anyway. So stop acting
surprised about it all the time, Sasuke.”
Sasuke gave Naruto a quick squeeze. “It only figures you’d say something dumb
like that.”
“Shut up.” But
Naruto was still grinning even as the words left his mouth.
Just sleep, Sasuke.
I’ll figure out how to answer your question no matter what. Yesterday afternoon we had a real
breakthrough. I know tonight I’ll
convince you. I can’t afford not to.
Naruto let out a soundless sigh.
Damn Sasuke. I
swear I’ll kill him myself once this is all over for driving me nuts.
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Sasuke knew Naruto could tell he was still pissed off that
they couldn’t train longer today without having to say it outright. Over the last six weeks Naruto had almost
completely mastered interpreting the older teen’s moods without needing things
spelled out for him. Even saying that,
Naruto still insisted they get home so they could shower and get ready for
dinner with Kiba and Hinata.
Ever since Sasuke had run into the nin-dog owner in the
market he had questioned why he would ever agree to eat with his girlfriend and
him. Even though he didn’t have any
issues with Kiba now it didn’t change the fact that going was a waste of
time. He found himself preoccupied
enough by Naruto anyway… why should he add to that by going to some dinner at
the Hyuuga main house.
All the blond could talk about was what a good cook Hinata
was and how rich and flavorful the wine and other assorted alcoholic products
at Hinata’s place were. That wasn’t
surprising considering who her family was in this town, but that didn’t have
anything to do with Naruto and the brunet.
And Sasuke didn’t know what Naruto was so damn excited about when they
weren’t old enough to drink, even if they did have the weekend off.
Apparently, Kiba and Naruto had gotten drunk together
before, asking Kiba’s sister to “hook them up” on previous occasions. That was well and good too, but it still
didn’t explain why Sasuke had to be dragged to a dinner party he didn’t want to
go to. Not only did he find Hinata and
Kiba’s company beneath him, agreeing to go meant he was allowing them to think
there was more going on with Naruto and him than there really was.
They were just fooling around.
Yes, it had been quite an entertaining six weeks. But this wasn’t a relationship by any
means. Despite the cold reality that
Naruto had given Sasuke the note Neji had written him Sasuke hadn’t said
anything in response to either acknowledge the blond’s feelings or to return
them. And so far Naruto didn’t seem to
care either way; he acted just as foolish as he always did so it didn’t
matter. So that meant they shouldn’t
go to dinner and let Naruto’s friends think this was some double date or
whatever.
“Why are you so grumpy, you’re the one who told me we got
invited, Sasuke. Why didn’t you just
keep your mouth shut if you didn’t want to go?” Naruto was looking at him in the mirror with big blue eyes,
standing in just a towel while Sasuke watched him, fully dressed.
“It just would have gotten back to you eventually. Kiba or Hinata would have asked you about it
and it would have landed back on me.
And just because I passed along a dinner invite doesn’t mean I want to
go. I don’t. I didn’t agree so it could interfere with our training.”
“We can train tomorrow, Sasuke.”
“Not if you’re sloshed.”
“Then get sloshed with me.” Naruto winked at him.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “You
should see me when I’m drunk, Sasuke, I’ll say just about anything that comes
to mind. One time I told Shikamaru I
thought he looked sexier without his flak jacket on because all the fishnet
made him look hot.” Naruto rubbed the
back of his head awkwardly. “I was so
embarrassed when he told me what I said later.
That’s not the kind of thing you should say to one of your straight
friends out loud. Even if it’s
true.”
“You’ve thought about it have you?” Sasuke asked, knowing
he didn’t like the idea of Naruto telling anyone else how to look hot or
sexy. Drunk or not. “Maybe I shouldn’t let you go if you’re
going to hit on Kiba too. You’ll come
up with some stupidly clichéd line about boners. You look like the sort of guy who can’t hold his liquor
anyway.”
“You’re really an asshole, Sasuke. I don’t want you to go if you’re going to
act like this all night. Do you want me
to call Hinata and tell her you’re not feeling well? Knowing her she’ll pack me up a doggy-bag to bring home for you.”
“Good, it’s settled then.”
Naruto turned around to look at him face-to-face. “You wish, Jackass. You’re going or else.”
“Or else what?”
Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest.
This was yet another reason why Naruto and him would never be in a real
relationship, the dumbass didn’t even know how to threaten him properly. “Well?
Don’t tell me you won’t screw me the second you get home if I don’t go
with you.”
“Withhold sex?” Naruto asked, eyebrows lifting. “Are you kidding? What the hell do I look like, a girl?”
“You can’t make me go.”
“You don’t have to go, Sasuke. But I can’t be held responsible if I tell Kiba and Hinata
embarrassing stories about you to make conversation.” Sasuke made a face. “I’ll
do it too.”
“You’re the embarrassment. It’s bad enough being seen in public with you, Dobe-kun.”
“I told you to stop saying that! Don’t call me that crap again, Sasuke!”
“Dobe-kun, Dobe-kun…Dobe-kun.”
Naruto moved to hit him and Sasuke deflected
effortlessly.
With one hand.
Which of course got the blond even more fired up. “Damn it, Asshole! You make me crazy, you jerk.”
Naruto gave up hitting him since nothing was landing but gave the brunet
a push that Sasuke absorbed unperturbed.
“Done now?”
Naruto turned away, opening his bottle of aftershave, his
eyes not looking in the mirror. “You
said you would go, Sasuke. I was really
looking forward to tonight. But you’re
right; I can’t make you. If you really
rather stay home I’ll just come up with some excuse.”
Sasuke watched as the blue-eyed shinobi slapped a bit of
the liquid onto his upper neck. “I
don’t see what the big deal is. I’m not
stopping you from going, Naruto.”
“It’s not the same without you, Sasuke. That’s all.
I don’t care as long as I have you around, it’s just…” The blond had his lip between his teeth.
“Don’t do that.”
Sasuke looked away, annoyed.
“Fine, I’ll go. Stop acting
stupid about it.”
Like I ever really had a choice in the first place. He gets that dopey sad look on his face and
before I know what’s happening I’m agreeing with him. Which is why we have a four-month supply of ramen. What the hell is wrong with me?
“You’ll go?”
Naruto turned around again and his hands were on the brunet’s
shoulders. “I knew you’d say yes. Not even Sakura-chan can resist me when I
get that depressed look on my face.
That look of mine has claimed yet another victim, Sas…OOOW!” Naruto growled as he rubbed the back of his
head with one hand and started swinging punches with the other.
“You’re an annoyance.
Shut your mouth and finish getting dressed already so we can get this
over with, Naruto.”
“Teme.” Naruto
made a face but it melted just as suddenly.
Surprised, Sasuke lifted one of his own eyebrows only to be startled
further when the blond pressed his lips against him. The brunet relaxed into the brief kiss and gave the blond a
questioning look when he pulled away.
“Thanks for going, Sasuke.” Then
he added in the most obnoxious voice possible, “I’ll be sure you’ll be coming
when we get home.” Naruto’s eyebrows
wiggled as he grinned in a leering, dirty-old-man kind of way.
“Just do me a favor and keep your mouth closed, Naruto,”
Sasuke insisted, shaking his head at the sheer stupidity pressed up against
him.
“But if my mouth is closed I won’t be able to try that
thing we did last night again…you know when you got up on your knees and
I..”
“Get dressed and be quiet.” Sasuke gave him a bit of a nudge, which of course only caused
Naruto to nudge him in return before he lowered his mouth down onto Sasuke’s
neck.
Somewhere in Sasuke’s mind it occurred to him that letting
Naruto leave fresh hickeys on him in this way would really give Hinata and Kiba
the wrong idea about them if they weren’t covered up properly. Other important facts came to mind as well,
like that Naruto hadn’t even bothered trying to convince him to go. Or bothered threatening him in any sort of
effective way. Almost as if the idiot
knew that Sasuke would do whatever he wanted him to without much protest.
Sasuke shut his eyes as Naruto’s tongue found a
nipple. Well, it wasn’t like this sort
of thing would happen all the time. And
besides, Naruto wasn’t smart enough to realize just what kind of power he held
over the brunet so the chances of this really getting out of hand were quite
slim.
Naruto.
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The blond jounin hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep until
the nurse with the aquamarine hair woke him.
Sasuke was still asleep and Naruto was surprised when he glanced at the
wall clock. Almost
eight-thirty. Sasuke had to have fallen
asleep about three. I guess we were
both exhausted. Naruto cleared his
throat as he glanced at the woman standing beside him. “Is there something wrong?”
“No, Naruto-kun.
Iruka-sensei is here to see you.
He brought you something to eat for dinner as well.”
“Oh, alright.” Of
course Sasuke’s hand was resting in his.
And he didn’t want Sasuke to wake up alone. Given the luck he had been having the last few days he was quite
sure even if he left for only five minutes, shoveling his food like a starved
animal, that would be the five-minute window Sasuke would decide to wake…
“You should eat.
Naruto.” Naruto watched lidded
eyes move to study him. “It’s not like
I’m going anywhere. Besides, I’m sure
she didn’t just come in here to say that.
I probably need my blood pressure checked. And whatever else.”
Naruto looked back at the young woman, who nodded,
confirming. It was only then Naruto
noticed she had wheeled in a cart with equipment on it. “How long is everything you have to do going
to take?” The blond wondered, still a bit reluctant to release the brunet’s
hand.
“About twenty minutes.
Shouldn’t be any longer than that.”
“Okay then. I
won’t be too long, Sasuke. I really
promise this time.”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
Sasuke took his hand back. “When
Iruka sees you looking like that he’ll be all over you. You’ll be back when he’s done yelling at you
for not taking proper care of yourself.”
He’s right…Iruka’s not going to be pleased. “Well, I’ll be back after that, Sasuke.” Naruto waited for the brunet to give him
some kind of response. He knew the
nurse was standing there but that didn’t mean…
“I know, Naruto.”
Sasuke’s eyes were open completely.
He sat up in the bed and gave him another glance. “Go already.”
“Okay.” Naruto
inclined his head, but resisted the urge to give Sasuke a kiss on the
cheek. He knew how Sasuke was about
public displays of affection. There
were none. Under any
circumstances. So he gave Sasuke’s hand
a little nothing of a squeeze and grabbed the crutches sitting against the
wall.
I’m glad Iruka-sensei is here…I didn’t realize I was
getting a little hungry. And besides,
if anyone can put me in a good mood it’s him.
“Naruto.” Iruka
gave him a smile. “How are you
feeling?”
“Okay. I hardly
even notice my foot, but Sakura-chan’d kill me if I walk on it.” The jounin sat down on the couch out in the
lounge where he met the brunet academy sensei.
“You must be busy. You didn’t
have to come with dinner again.”
“Sakura mentioned you weren’t eating very much,
Naruto. And since you’ve been through
so much this week I thought you deserved some ramen.” Naruto grinned as Iruka handed him chopsticks and his favorite
meal. “It’d be a sad day if I can’t buy
you ramen anymore, Naruto.”
“You’ll still buy it for me even when I became
hokage. Won’t you?”
“Of course.”
Just having Iruka here makes me feel better. But I don’t want to burden him with my
problems concerning Sasuke. It’s been a
rough few days, that’s for certain, but that doesn’t mean I should trouble him
and…
“Oi, Naruto…you aren’t done yet. Usually you’re halfway through a second helping by now. You must be more upset than I
realized.” Naruto glanced down at the
noodles then back up at Iruka.
“Did Kaka-sensei tell you?”
Iruka shook his head.
“He didn’t have to.” Naruto met
deep eyes. “It was clear on Monday
morning you were troubled.”
I didn’t want to bother you about it… and it’s not like
you could give me the answer.
“Sasuke and I aren’t fighting anymore. So that’s something good, at least. We were even teasing each other before we
both fell asleep. It felt like it
always does. Us at home. Everything fine.” Naruto frowned. “I can’t
lose that, Iruka-sensei. I don’t know
what I would do if I lost that.” Naruto
slurped up the rest of his noodles.
Even though there were more goodies in the bag Iruka had brought with
him he didn’t feel like eating anything else.
“I want to show you something, Naruto. It’s on the second floor; almost right below
where we’re sitting now. It won’t take
longer than a few minutes.”
Iruka handed the blond his crutches back. Despite being preoccupied as he ate Naruto
still had a good ten minutes to kill while the nurse finished up with Sasuke
anyway. Hopefully she wouldn’t give him
any more medication so they could talk when he got back.
“Where are we going, Iruka-sensei?” Naruto wondered, as he
followed the chuunin into the elevator.
“A place I like to visit sometimes when someone I care
about is in the hospital.” Iruka pushed
the “2” button. “Even with a strong
heart a person needs time alone sometimes.
That doesn’t mean you’re not concerned about your important person or
persons, as the case dictates. However,
I find that I can only stand so much waiting and worrying, and coming down here
gives me a little solace.”
“I see.”
Naruto stepped out of the elevator as Iruka held the door
open for him. “It’s to the right,
Naruto. Where those two men are
standing all the way at the end of the hall.”
Iruka kept an even pace so he could walk alongside the blond. “I would have brought you down here before
but I didn’t want to cause too much strain for your foot. But since it doesn’t feel bad I thought I
should let you in on the secret.”
Where exactly are we going anyway? And I’m surprised someone like Iruka needs
to escape from this kind of stress. He
seems so good at staying calm and not letting his emotions get to him when
someone’s hurt. The last time Kakashi
got banged up Iruka was probably more in control than anyone else was. Poor Gai-sensei looked like he was going to
have kittens he was so wound up.
I remember when Sakura, Sasuke and I first got to the
hospital we didn’t know where Iruka was.
I thought he was just trying to get away from Gai for a while. But maybe he came down here for another
reason all together.
“We lucked out tonight.
It seems there are plenty of good spots left.”
Naruto turned to his right, eyebrows lifting. “This is…”
Blue eyes scanned across the sight before him. “The hospital nursery?”
Naruto glanced over at the older ninja.
“You come down here, Iruka-sensei?”
“Yes. I do.”
“Daddy…which one is our baby?” Naruto turned. A little boy with a shock of purple hair was sitting on an older
man’s shoulders. He was pointing with a
miniature finger. “I forget ‘cuz they
all look almost the same.”
“Right there, at the end, see.” Blue eyes followed the man’s fingers so Naruto could see which
baby he was referring to.
“He’s not doing nothing, Daddy.” The kid crossed his arms over his chest, albeit a bit awkwardly
since his father’s head was in the way.
“How’s he supposed to be a ninja if he’s just lying there doing
nothing?” Naruto smirked a bit at the
boy’s question. He knew eavesdropping
was wrong but the conversation was too interesting to ignore now that he’d been
drawn in.
“Babies need a lot of sleep,” the father answered,
knowingly. As if he expected his son to
have a lot of questions. “And even
though he’s a member of our clan he won’t be able to do anything for himself
for a few years. It’s up to all of us
to take care of him.”
“All of us?”
“Your mom, and I… and yes you too. You’re his big brother. It’s your job to protect him.”
“Like a mission?”
“Protecting important people is one of the most important
missions any ninja has.”
“Yeah. Mommy said
that too.” The man smiled and reached
his hand up, shaking one of the child’s legs.
“I assume you don’t want to stay down here too long,
Naruto?” Naruto relaxed as Iruka
pressed his hand onto his shoulder.
“I’m sure you want to get back to Sasuke before long.”
“I don’t…well I don’t until I can answer his
question.” Naruto looked at him. “He said he wanted me to give him a reason
to have the procedure…and I did…at least I thought I did…I thought I gave him
lots of reasons. Living being
the main one…but he didn’t want to listen to that.”
“If you’re holding out for an answer, Naruto, I’m afraid
you’ll be down here a very long time.”
Iruka-sensei.
“What do you mean…I know if I give him a reason he’ll…”
“It’s not up to you to give him a reason, Naruto.”
“But Sasuke said…”
“Sasuke needs his own reason.”
Naruto frowned.
“That’s the whole point. He
doesn’t have one.”
“Doesn’t have one?”
Iruka lifted his eyebrows. “If
that’s how it is why are you trying to save him then?” Naruto’s heart sank. “There is no point to life if there isn’t a
reason to live, Naruto. Living isn’t
just physical. An emotional shutdown
can be just as damaging, and lead to death just as surely as any injury the
body withstands can.”
“Sasuke’s lived all this time because he had to kill his
brother…that was everything to him.”
“Was that the only thing?
Uchiha Itachi is dead now…does that mean there is nothing left for
Sasuke?”
“Of course not.
It’s Sasuke that’s being stupid about all of this. I don’t even know why he asked me for a
reason, Iruka-sensei. I’ve said
everything…what else could I possibly…”
“I’m going to do my best, Daddy!” Naruto glanced over to where the man and his
son were. The boy was now off his
father’s shoulders and holding his father’s hand. “I’m going to protect him just like you protect mom and me,” the
boy insisted.
“He’s so lucky to have such a good big brother.” The boy grinned proudly. “Let’s go to the gift shop and see if we can
find mom and the baby a present, okay?”
“Yeah.” The boy
nodded in agreement. “Let’s get a teddy
bear.”
Naruto made a face.
I’m just as bad as that kid sometimes…I get all excited about
something…I put everything into it…I promised myself I would convince him to
have the procedure…If Sasuke dies I won’t even know who I am anymore. How can I ever think I’d become hokage and
protect this village if I can’t save one of the most important people in my
whole life from himself?
“Naruto?” The blue-eyed shinobi
glanced back at his former academy teacher.
“I’m sure you could name a thousand reasons why you want Sasuke to have
the procedure. If avenging the
destruction of his clan isn’t the only reason he’s pushed on all this time you
should remind him of that.”
Sasuke… Naruto watched as the child and
his father boarded the elevator. I
understand now. The jounin glanced back at the newborns. I
don’t know why the hell it had to come to this…but I understand now.
“I need to talk to Sasuke, Iruka-sensei. Let’s go back upstairs.”
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Sasuke put his left leg back instinctively so he wouldn’t
fly completely off balance into a tree.
Damn it, he managed to get through my guard.
“I suppose that’s enough for today, Sasuke. I have to take two of the nin dogs to the
vet.” Kakashi rolled his eye up to look
at the early afternoon sky. “Actually,
my appointment was two hours ago.”
“It’s just like you to leave right when I was about to
make a comeback.” Sasuke stood up
straight and wiped the blood from his cheek.
“Oh?” Kakashi
lowered his forehead protector back over his left eye. “You know, Sasuke, someone with a pretty
face like yours really ought to guard it better.” With a quick movement the silver-haired jounin tossed Sasuke a
small container of salve. “And before
you make excuses, a real enemy is going to target any opening you give them.”
“Whatever, I don’t need your foolish attempts at a pep
talk, Kakashi.” Sasuke turned away from
him but unfastened the top to the ointment anyway. Vanity had nothing to do with it; he just wanted to apply the
cream to take the sting out of his injuries.
Like the one on the back portion of his shoulder that was
sure to turn into a brilliant bruise.
“You’re going to keep getting banged up if you don’t stop
letting yourself become so distracted.
I would just as well assume sleeping with Naruto would have done you
good. Make you less uptight. I didn’t realize the Uchiha clan was so
easily diverted by desire.”
Sasuke snapped his head back around.
What the… what the hell did he just say…how the hell does
he know about Naruto and me…we didn’t tell anyone… anyone. And more importantly we make sure to act the
same way we’ve always acted in public.
And we certainly didn’t do anything on our last two missions with
Kakashi to tip him off…
“Hit a nerve, did I, Sasuke-kun?”
“You leave Naruto out of this. I was unfocused because your moves are so predictable. I waited for you to do the same thing you
always do every time we come out here.”
“Is that so, Sauske?
If they’re that predictable how come you haven’t beaten me yet?” Sasuke narrowed his dark eyes. Damn you, Kakashi. “I don’t care if you screw Naruto or
not. You’ve been in lust with him since
you were kids, it would have happened sooner or later. I’m a little surprised you waited so long after
you got back. You were the one to
initiate sex first, weren’t you?”
“It’s none of your damn business, Kakashi. And I’m not having this conversation
with you. What’s next, you’re going to
give me a safe-sex talk too?”
“Well, we wouldn’t want any unplanned pregnancies,
especially not before you get married.
Certainly wouldn’t look good for an ANBU candidate to have illegitimate
fox babies running around the village.”
“Shut up, Kakashi.”
Sasuke made a face at the mental image that caused, then he shivered a
little inwardly. He tossed the salve
back at the jounin.
“More importantly, come here and I’ll get that spot on
your shoulder.” No matter how I try
to hide whatever part is most sore after we spar he always knows. Sasuke glanced at Kakashi for a
moment. “I’m already late for my
appointment; a few more minutes won’t hurt anything. Besides, knowing Pakkun he probably took the other dogs to the
vet himself.”
“Of course, he’s more responsible than you are,
Kakashi.” Sasuke lifted his shirt up
over his head and turned so that his back was to the older man. “Just make it quick, I have laps to run
around the village.”
The teen listened as the silver-haired jounin undid the
lid to the salve container behind him.
A second later he felt the cool gelled-paste on his aching shoulder
where Kakashi had landed an impressive kick.
“Your skin’s already so pale, Sasuke,” Kakashi began in a
lower voice. “If you don’t want the
rumor mill to get wind of this any sooner than necessary tell Naruto not to
suck so hard in the future.” Sasuke
pressed his palm over the spot on his neck Naruto always targeted whenever they
messed around.
If Sasuke were a blusher he probably would have turned a
lovely shade of magenta, but even so he could feel a bit of warmth on his
cheeks. The fact that he allowed Naruto
to mark him. Repeatedly. He didn’t know why he never thought to
object to the blond leaving evidence behind.
Could it be he liked it? For
some unknown, ridiculous reason?
But how could that be… being marked by Naruto seemed to
imply a level of commitment Sasuke didn’t recall agreeing to. There was no courtship period, no going on
“dates”. Sasuke read Neji’s note to
Naruto, slipped on Naruto’s under things and provoked him into their first
sexual encounter. They woke up the next
morning in a tangle of limbs and dried moisture residue and scrambled to leave
for their mission.
Upon their return Naruto sat on Sasuke’s bed and asked “do
you wanna” and within three days they were up to full intercourse. Nothing else had changed in their
relationship dynamic. They were friends
that just so happened to sleep together.
Plenty of ninja had beneficial friends, after all. No real strings attached, no expectations of
anything. Naruto never complained when
Sasuke’s mouth was in a welcome place.
It was perfect, really. They
still sparred, they still argued.
Naruto was the same idiot he’d always been, just now they had sex.
A lot of sex.
Actually, when they weren’t training, eating, or
sleeping…Sasuke frowned. Of course he
was distracted, no matter what else he had gone through, how strong he’d
become, what milestones he accomplished, how mature he was he was still a slave
to his basic animal instincts. He was a
male teenager who had a sex partner living under the same roof, who was now
sharing his bed, and was willing and eager to try just about anything
once. It was as if Naruto had unlocked
the raging sex drive Sasuke wasn’t completely aware he had. But now that he did the teen couldn’t find
the off button.
He was stronger than this, of course, and once Sasuke got
a hold of himself he’d beat this and put it behind him. Not that he planned to stop having sex with
Naruto, he just planned to stop thinking with the wrong head so damned
much. He was beginning to see what
Kakashi had meant so long ago about a man’s only real weakness:
There isn’t enough blood to power both the brain and the
penis at the same time.
And with Kakashi knowing… Sasuke had bigger issues to
worry about…Kakashi could easily be one of many who did. He didn’t particularly care what anyone else
thought but that didn’t mean he wanted to be the hot topic of discussion
either. When people saw he and Naruto
out and about did anyone suspect…had they figured it out? Were they like Kakashi, expecting it to
happen eventually. How many people had
been on that rooftop, at that party, and watched Sasuke do the transport
technique and then witness Naruto chase after him…
Sasuke’s gripped the love marking on his neck
tightly.
“Who else knows about it?” Since Kakashi knew it was important for Sasuke to find out how
far this went. Kakashi was probably too
lazy to gossip about two of his former students but Sasuke was half-convinced
Kakashi had told the schoolteacher he was shacked up with. He probably mentioned it casually over
dinner one night that former defector Uchiha Sasuke was playing bed sheet bingo
with his precious Naruto. “Does Iruka
know?”
“I don’t think so.
Not yet. For your credit you’ve
both done a fair job at being discreet.
I suspect he won’t figure it out until Naruto and Iruka talk.”
“If that’s how it is then what tipped you
off?” Sasuke waited for Kakashi to
press a bandage over the ointment-covered skin so it wouldn’t rub off when he
put his shirt back on. As for his
question, he wanted to know how Kakashi found out Fso he could be sure to be
more careful going forward.
Kakashi moved his hand and slid the bandage roll into his
utility pouch as Sasuke tugged his shirt back on. “This is the second time in three weeks you got distracted while
we were training, Sasuke-kun.”
Kakashi’s eye had curved into a grin.
“Two times in almost a month doesn’t seem like enough to
go on.”
“Ah, but it is when you look underneath…”
“…the underneath,” Sasuke finished, making another
face. “Spare me.”
“You’re driven to be an avenger, Sasuke. To kill your brother. That anything could distract you. Twice.
Well, that is something to go on.”
I have been thinking about Naruto. A lot… a whole lot…I thought it was just
because we’re together so much…it didn’t occur to me he’s become a real
interruption. Damn it. How did I let this happen?
“Of course, Sasuke, the more you try to not think about
him or to limit your contact the worse it’ll be.” He’s right… so then what the hell am I supposed… “There’s
nothing to worry about though. This is
just what they call the “honeymoon period”.
In a couple of weeks, if not sooner, the novelty of being with Naruto
will wear off. And if one of the two of
you doesn’t kill the other first things will work themselves out. That’s the way it is with
relationships.”
“Icha Icha must have had a profound impact on you,
Kakashi,” Sasuke snipped, shifting his eyes away from the other man. “And all this time I was sure it was just a
porn series.”
“I don’t read it for the porn; I read it for the rich,
lifelike characters and intricate plotlines.”
“And Tsunade can fit into an A cup.” Sasuke gave Kakashi a look. “Go take care of your dogs already.”
“And miss out on the warm, loving feeling I get after a
conversation with you, Sasuke-kun?”
Sasuke narrowed his eyes again.
“I’ll be going then. Don’t push
yourself too hard either. You have a
bad habit when it comes to that.”
“Hard work never hurt anybody.”
“No, but forcing yourself does. Don’t think because I was an hour late this morning you have to
make up for it by going an hour longer today.
Training doesn’t work like that.”
“You’re not exactly my teacher anymore, Kakashi. I know how much my body can take. I don’t need the lecture.”
Kakashi met his eyes.
“Stop being a stubborn brat all the time and my words won’t be
necessary. Sasuke.” Sasuke gave Kakashi a challenging look. “The “honeymoon period” doesn’t last
forever, you know. Go home and enjoy
your time with Naruto while you can.
Once the reality sets in that the two of you are together it’ll only get
harder and more complicated.”
Sasuke made an annoyed little “tch” sound. “Offering advice when I didn’t ask first:
another one of your annoying habits, Kakashi.”
Kakashi’s eye focused in on the brunet. “No matter the goals or the destination the
road a ninja walks is dyed in blood.
Few shinobi are ever fortunate enough to have someone to walk that road
with; to have someone to absolve them of their sins, Sasuke. Remember that well, it’s a lesson too many
learn the hard way.”
“Kakashi…”
Sasuke’s eyes thinned into dark slits.
What the hell… he has some nerve saying shit like that out of nowhere
when…The silver-haired jounin did the transport jutsu and disappeared
before Sasuke could say anything else.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-- - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - -
“You have a look on your face, Naruto, like you just found
out the Earth isn’t flat.” Naruto
shrugged.
“Yeah, maybe it is something like that.”
He closed the hospital room door behind him and walked to
the right side of Sasuke’s bed. If
Sasuke was surprised by the action he didn’t show it. Up until now Naruto had always walked around the bed to the left
side and sat in the chair that waited for him.
He wasn’t going to do that now.
I’ve been so stupid about this whole thing…right from the beginning.
“I take it seeing Iruka put you in a mood, huh? Next you’ll tell me we should talk about the
procedure.”
Naruto let out a breath. “It’s
not as if I have an answer to your question, Sasuke. If that’s what you’re getting at.” Naruto placed the crutches behind him on the wall. “I don’t have an answer because it’s really
a trick question.” Naruto crossed his
arms over his chest. “Despite that I’m
going to say what I have to say and you’re going to shut up and listen. And if you don’t like it you can push the
call button for a nurse, but I’m sure by the time one gets here I’ll be
through.”
Sasuke lifted a dark eyebrow before he sat up. “You really are in a mood,
Naruto.” The brunet gave him the
once-over. “It’s rather amusing,
actually. For one thing you’re the one
who said earlier you didn’t want to fight anymore or get me upset because of my
condition. All that’s going to happen
is we’re going to fight. And if the
other fights are any indication you’ll probably storm out of this room again.”
“Which is exactly what you want me to do, Sasuke.” Naruto’s eyes narrowed. “It occurred to me downstairs that there was
something wrong with this whole thing, Sasuke.
Really wrong. We start talking
about the procedure, you say something nasty to get me upset, it works, and I
leave,…”
“I don’t need an oral history…I was sitting right here
when it happened.”
“That’s my point exactly.
You were sitting right here.
Even without your chakra circulatory system damage you have a fractured
leg. You don’t have a choice…you’re
stuck in bed. Yet here I go…. hopping
in and out of this room for the last three or so days whenever you wanted me
to.”
Sasuke made a face.
“You left when you wanted to.
Even when I told you to get out you came back anyway.”
“But you were counting on that. You wouldn’t have made me miserable this whole time if you didn’t
know that I’d come back in here and forgive you over and over again.”
Sasuke inclined his head.
“Well, if that’s true than that just makes you even more pathetic, Naruto. What else can I say?”
“You can say what you haven’t said since this all started,
Sasuke. That you want the
procedure. That’s what you can
say.” Naruto knew he had already
reached the breaking point days ago, so he wouldn’t be able to control himself
any longer. “You played on my biggest
weakness…seeing you hurt like this so you could control the situation right
from the beginning. We should have had
this talk days ago. And just when it
finally looks like we’re making progress you throw something else out at
me. You ask me to give you a reason
why.” Naruto shook his head. “Enough is fucking enough, Sasuke. I’m not playing your damn games.”
“The fact that you can’t answer my question just proves my point,
Naruto. Don’t come barging in here like
your shit doesn’t stink.” Sasuke’s gaze
turned hard. “It takes two people to
have an argument…no one told you to come back in here…or to stay in the
hospital in the first place.”
“More crap again, Sasuke. Sing
a different song because I’ve heard this one before.” Naruto moved closer. “I’m
finished with it…I’m finished with stepping around all our damn problems…I’m
finished with grinning in your fucking face all day long so you won’t get
angry. Get angry…yell…scream…do
whatever you have to. Because it’s
over, Sasuke. I’m not letting you take
out your issues with your brother on me anymore.”
The older teen’s eyes turned deadly cold
unexpectedly. “He has nothing to
do with this. You knew a long time ago
everything I did was to see him dead, Naruto.”
“And that’s why he has everything to do with
this. I’m done with being patient…I’m
done waiting…Itachi’s dead and it’s over.
It’s finished…so get over it.”
“You knew the score long before anything ever happened
between us…you knew Itachi would come first…”
“I never agreed to him having a hold on you after he died,
Sasuke!” Naruto made a tight fist. “No child in this world should have had to
suffer the burden you suffered when your parents died. No child’s dreams should be to kill his
brother and avenge his clan. But you
made it through… you got stronger… you hated him… you did all of that. And he’s dead now, Sasuke… you can let
go…even if you lose all your abilities as a ninja you’re still more of a man
than he ever was.”
“Go to FUCKING hell, Naruto!” Naruto resisted the urge to flinch. “Don’t sit here preaching to me.
I didn’t make you be with me…if you were so damned concerned you should
have left a long time ago. I told you
this isn’t about you..”
“It damn well should be!
I’ll tell you what this isn’t about, Sasuke. This isn’t about a fucking procedure. Or even life and death… it’s about control… it’s about you
wanting control over your life again… every breath you took since you were
seven years old has been for Itachi, Sasuke.”
Naruto gripped his hair with his other hand to keep himself in a
reasonable state before he truly blew up.
“Itachi made you consider killing me, Itachi made you seek power in
Sound, Itachi plunged your whole being into darkness. And now, even in death, he’s still controlling you.”
“What the hell do you know about anything!” Sasuke’s fingers were turning bone-white as
he wrung the bed sheets in pale fingers.
“No one has ever controlled me… No one!”
“Isn’t that it? If
you can’t be a ninja anymore he’s won right?
You killed him but if you can’t be a ninja that means he’s still
stronger than you…”
“You fucking orphan, Demon Vessel…. Don’t ever…ever tell
me anything… EVER… do you hear me…EVER.”
Sasuke was pointing at him. “I
make my own choices… everything I’ve ever done was because I wanted it that
way… Don’t sit here and tell me what I’m feeling or what I’m thinking… I’m
nothing like him. I would have gotten
the Mangekyou Sharingan years ago if I did what he wanted me to. The fact that you’re standing there in your
complete ignorance is testament to that.”
“It’s also testament that you decided you would find your
own path… Sasuke. And now it’s time to
do it again…I don’t know who I’ve been talking to for the last four days, but
it hasn’t been the Uchiha Sasuke I know.
The person lying here in front of me is a miserable, sorry excuse for a
human being that continues to be manipulated by his psychotic older brother
from beyond the grave. What the hell is
wrong with you?”
“YOU are what’s wrong with me. You’ve always been. I’ve
wasted the last three years fucking around with you, Naruto. I don’t need you. You or your bullshit. I
could have gotten stronger faster; I could have trained harder without your
damn distractions and nonsense. I could
have gone after him and avenged my clan years ago.”
“And you could also be dead, Sasuke. So what the hell’s your point? You could have killed me too, and have
gotten the Mangekyou Sharingan that way right?
Should we add that too? Is there
anything else you want to add? Do you
want to mention again how I have no parents… do you want to reiterate that I’m
pathetic for caring about you? Why
don’t you throw in that you have no feelings for me too, Sasuke… put it all out
there so we can move the fuck on. I
told you already, and if I have to say it ten more times so you get it I
will.” Naruto’s voice got deep and
harsh. “It’s over.”
“You’re right… it is over…we’re finished… get the fuck out
of here…”
“I’m not going to play second to Itachi anymore…” Naruto’s voice dropped, before he fell down
to his knees beside Sasuke’s bed, close to his limit before he shut down all
together. “I’m not going to sit around
watching him fuck with you again.” The
blond’s words were slow, deliberate.
Controlled. He didn’t trust
himself if he yelled again. “Let it go,
Sasuke. For shit’s sake… let it go.”
“I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUTI”
“He can’t hurt you anymore… Sasuke…” Naruto met those beautifully dejected dark
eyes that flickered twice as they locked onto his own.
“Shut up… stop saying that stupid shit… Naruto…. Shut
up…”
Sasuke’s own voice had dropped; Naruto wasn’t sure why…if
maybe the words had finally been absorbed… or if Sasuke had gotten to the same
point he was at…drained…every little bit of hurt and pain and rawness that had
built up and bubbled over and tainted the atmosphere around them… all drawing
them here…to this rough…unstable place.
“I promise on my life, Sasuke…” Naruto’s words were even lower now…above a whisper…but too low
for anyone to hear who didn’t want to listen.
“I promise on everything I am… on being hokage… on protecting you… I
swear to god… I won’t ever let him hurt you again. Sasuke… “
“What do you know…” Blue-black bangs obscured a
sickly-pale face as the brunet’s voice hit a raw point. “How could you know….”
“You said it before right… the loneliness… that dark
loneliness where you wonder if pushing on and hoping for something better is
worth it… or if you should just give up… it’s worse than death… it’s worse than
any pain in this whole world…but it’s over now… there isn’t anymore of that…”
“He said… he never thought I’d kill him. He said I wasn’t worthy enough to kill then…
he said I wasn’t worthy enough to kill even after…” Sasuke’s words hung stale in the air now…words that Naruto wasn’t
sure had anything to do with the conversation.
Words that had probably never been spoken out loud, which explained the
ragged sort of way they came out. “He
was surprised… I’ve never seen him surprised…”
“You did good, Sasuke…you protected your dream… you
protected me…” Naruto pressed his palms
against the mattress, hesitantly inching his fingers closer without touching
his lover and startling him. Sasuke…
please…The look on Sasuke’s face as the bangs continued blocking part of
his expression said things no words ever could. It was really hitting Sasuke now… once he stopped lashing
out…stopped sitting in denial waiting for death. This was the moment… this was when everything mattered.
Naruto knew that as well as he knew anything.
“He said before I had the potential to verify his
container…like he used my parents to measure…he…” Sasuke’s fingers were gripping the sheets again, roughly,
twisting them out of shape. “He never
thought I’d be strong enough…not even strong enough to kill…that’s why…I had to
watch….he made me watch…them die…my mother…she…”
“Your mother used to bake cakes…didn’t she…” Sasuke was getting closer to a dangerous
place. The blond took the chance and
pressed his palm over Sasuke’s own hand, hoping to keep him from reaching the
breakdown his mind was flirting with.
“You never said it… directly, about your mother making cakes. I just sort of guessed…she was always
finding a way to take care of you… wasn’t she…she was so much to you…” Sasuke…please….you have to get over
this…for both of us… you have to.
“She looked surprised too…but more sad then anything
else…when I found her dead.”
“You loved her so much…you never appreciated her until she
wasn’t there anymore…”
“He made me watch… he made me watch them die…he reminded
me how weak I was…how I had been powerless to stop him… he said I was pathetic…” He’s not even trying to make complete
sentences anymore. His thoughts are
jumping back and fourth… and his eyes… I can see them flickering almost
violently now.
“Itachi also said he didn’t expect you to kill him,
right? So what does he know?” Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s hand, willing him
to stop wearing a hole in the sheets. Look
at me, Sasuke… look at me… please, Sas… The older jounin turned his head,
his eyes weren’t flickering but that cold, broken look was in them.
Before he even realized it Naruto could feel a shaky wet
line fall out of his eye. Sasuke…that
pain…you could have… you should have told me about it…you didn’t have to carry
it alone…you don’t have to die just so Itachi won’t win anymore…you proved you
were stronger than him already…you proved it twelve years ago when you forced
yourself to survive all alone, Sasuke…Naruto wiped a few more stubborn
tears from his whiskered-cheeks.
“Naruto…” his
voice was getting even lower now…shaky…uncertain.
“Sasuke, I want you to tell me about your mother more
often…I’ve never had anyone in my life to fill that role…I always liked when
you mentioned things she did…the way she threw shuriken… or how she bandaged up
a cut…how she sang silly songs, Sasuke…”
“I…” Sasuke’s
whisper was brutally anguished. “I
don’t know the words anymore….Naruto…”
Naruto blinked twin tears. “Just because…” Naruto
smoothed his free palm up onto Sasuke’s cheek, pushing away the bangs in the
process. “Just because you don’t know
any of the words doesn’t mean you can’t hear what’s being said…It’s not all
unknown, Sasuke…the pain isn’t the only thing in the unknown…me…I’ll be
there…let me be your reason…Sasuke. Let
go of Itachi.…give me a chance to make you happy….”
“Naruto…”
“You still want a reason why….Sasuke?”
Naruto let his voice reach its normal volume. “What have you been telling me over and over… what do you say all
the time…what do you think all the time?
Why, Sasuke? Why? Because I’m no good without you. That’s why.”
Sasuke’s let out a sudden breath.
Sasuke? He took Naruto’s
hand away from his face but didn’t drop it, holding the wrist, and studying it,
turning it over in his hand like he had never seen one before.
He didn’t look up at Naruto as he spoke in a steady voice. “You’re really a stupid idiot. Dobe-kun.”
Naruto made a face. “A stupid idiot? Dobe-kun?
That’s pretty damned redundant, Sasuke.”
“You’re still a stupid little idiot.”
“Yeah, well, it takes one to love you.”
Sasuke made a sound in the back of his throat as he lifted his gaze and
met blue eyes. Yeah, I’ll buy
that.” He inclined his head,
slightly. “Naruto.”
A smile… it was faint… barely there…if Naruto didn’t know every line
and curve and edge on Sasuke’s face he might not have known it for what it
was…but it was there… that enigmatic smile…
Sasuke…Sasuke…thank…oh god… Sasuke…
Naruto was up high enough on his knees that he could pull Sasuke into
him…in the back of his mind he remembered they were in a hospital… Sasuke did
have cracked ribs and a broken arm. He
couldn’t care. He pulled Sasuke against
him as closely as he could and let a few more stray tears soak into the other
teen’s neck.
Moments passed and Naruto tried getting himself back under
control. He didn’t really understand
it. Even though he had doubts, he
always believed that he’d convince Sasuke in the end… so why was he falling
apart and…
“You’re the type of guy who gets mushy all the time. Naruto.”
“Shut up.” Naruto pulled
away. He started rubbing at the tears
that gave him away with the back of his hand.
So what if he got mushy sometimes… he had a right to, damn it.
Sasuke? Naruto stilled his hands as Sasuke used the
bed sheets he had wrung out to finish cleaning the tears away. “I thought you said you wouldn’t lose to me,
Naruto. Hardly seems like that now.”
“I’ll never lose to you, Sasuke.
As soon as you’re back on your feet again we’re gonna settle it once and
for all.”
“That’s…” Sasuke looked at him
firmly.
“You’ve always been a scaredy-cat, Sasuke.” Naruto shrugged. “I’m not
going to hold back on you either. Like
I always do.”
“Don’t steal my lines and try passing them off as your own.” Sasuke gave him a playful sort of push. “That’s why you’re no good without me. Can’t even talk without saying something
I’ve already said. And making it sound
dumber.”
“Shut up.” Naruto pushed his
lover back. Not hard, of course. Then he wrapped his arms around him again. Gently.
He lowered his mouth onto that spot on Sasuke’s neck and sucked. Sasuke…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Stay. Naruto.” Sasuke watched the look on his lovers
face. He nodded and squeezed his
hand.
Naruto was back in the chair, still touching him. Not that Sasuke cared. Naruto had probably woken half the hospital
when he ran out of the room to tell anyone who would listen that Sasuke had
agreed to the procedure. That had been
several hours ago. It was now the very
early part of Friday morning. And the brunet
knew that now that he had agreed it was only going to be an uphill climb to
reach the top again.
”I should tell you how I feel when you can’t move again.” He was calm now. And looked exhausted.
“You can’t run away like you did the first time.” The blond was leaning over and spoke his
words against Sasuke’s neck.
“If you’re talking about the night I came back from Rock, that wasn’t
the first time you said it.”
“Huh?” I knew you’d be
surprised… Naruto.
“It wasn’t the first time you said it to me.” I never thought I’d tell you.
“That night we had dinner with Kiba and Hinata. You got so drunk I had to carry you
home. I was trying to strip you out of
your clothes and toss you into a cold shower and you begged me to shower with
you. We got into a fight and you said
it then. You said you didn’t want to
take a shower without me because you loved me.”
Naruto pulled back so he could look at Sasuke’s face. Sasuke had a blank expression. “What…that was… that was almost three years
ago…back when this all started between us… why the hell didn’t you tell me what
I said?”
Sasuke lifted an eyebrow. “Why
should I have?”
“Why? What do you mean why?”
“There wasn’t any point in telling you. I knew that if you really meant it you’d say it sober. And seven months ago you did.”
“Sasuke.” Naruto took a sharp
intake of air. It’s not such a big
deal. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything. Words
aren’t necessary all the time, Naruto.”
Sasuke shut his eyes. I
won’t lose to you, Naruto. I won’t lose
to you or anyone.
Endnotes: Well, I hope
it was worth the wait. And did you
notice this is the only chapter that alternated each scene between Sasuke and
Naruto’s POV…which wasn’t all together intentional until I got down to writing
this…then it sort of ended up that way.
Now to the specifics….I did say I’d sort of “explain”
myself with a few of the flashbacks.
As for chapter six the flashback with Naruto and Sasuke
making homemade cake was just pure fluff (well as close to fluff as I get in
this fic) though there is the underlining issue of how Sasuke and Naruto have
dealt with the subject of Sasuke’s parents in the past. They didn’t. Something that plays out a lot during Kakashi’s “lectures” and
Sasuke’s conflicted thoughts about them.
The Kiba/Sasuke scene in the market of course ties in with the end of
chapter seven and the accompanying flashback, and because I’m such a stickler
for details in my stories I thought it was important to at least give the
tension between the two some kind of resolution. And of course it shows that even early on Naruto had a hold over
Sasuke the brunet couldn’t deny or break away from.
How Sakura found out about Naruto and Sasuke was sort of an
anticlimactic moment…and was intended as such.
Sakura hasn’t played a big part in this fic and I think a big reason for
that is because the way I’ve written her here she’s at a new place in her life
and though she’ll always care deeply for Naruto and Sasuke I think she’s
stepped aside and let them work things out for themselves. Plus, I think Sakura wouldn’t want to give
Naruto the added pressure of saddling him on with her concerns. And I think it sets things up for the first
scene in chapter seven rather nicely.
Neither Sasuke or Sakura know what to make of each other a lot of time
without Naruto. Something that was true
even before Sasuke defected. But in the
end I think they have a silent sort of understanding that works for their
friendship.
Besides the fact that I just think Chouji and Ino are cute
and we could all use a little comic relief, the specific reason is simple. It’s all about foreshadowing. Sasuke tells Naruto he’s naively optimistic
because he believes things will work out in the end just because he “wills” them
to. And when Naruto puts the moves on
him and asks Sasuke if he’s being “naively optimistic” Sasuke replies by asking
Naruto, “who am I to stand in the way of a happy ending.” Of course, not to rain on the parade but we
still have three more chapters to go, however now that Sasuke’s going through
with the procedure it certainly puts them in good contention for a “happy
ending”…or as close as you can get given the circumstances.
With the exception of the flashback concerning Naruto and
Sasuke getting ready to meet Hinata and Kiba, which I already explained above,
I would say the remaining little vignettes sort of speak for themselves;
otherwise I probably didn’t do a good job in writing them. Anyway…a lot of the last three chapters have
been written because I didn’t write this fic “in order” as it were. So chapter eight should be out soon
enough. And there’s even a surprise
cameo in it. Thanks for reading and for
all the feedback. ^^
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