Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Hidden Heartache	By : shiinechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2057 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Hidden Heartache

Chapter 7

It took the group three weeks to return home. Sasuke needed a
few days to regain his strength before we could leave, but the time difference in
travel was because we didn�t push ourselves. The cold was still unbearable,
and, this time, Sasuke made it a point to tell everyone each time I stumbled, making
it difficult to hide my weakness, but it worked out ok. We stayed at a hot
spring for rest and relaxation. Nothing beats immersing the body in hot water,
but I made it a point to avoid a naked Sasuke. It was easy. I pretended to be
hungry and gorge myself on food until he was done. I felt sick later but the
long soak that followed helped. We had to share a room, but I arrived late,
yawning and fell asleep instantly or at least pretended to. For three days we
managed to avoid speaking, it wasn�t obvious, and it renewed my courage to
avoid him.�

So, from the time we left the inn, I made it a top priority
to evade Sasuke and it was a challenge. See he didn�t remember what happened
but it didn�t mean that someday he wouldn�t, and if that happened, he would despise
me for lying to him. Well, I really didn�t lie but omitted important details
from our mission and even I couldn�t kid myself into believing that I was doing
the right thing. Besides, being next to him was awkward and it hurt. �

I learned that avoiding people could be difficult unless you
absorb yourself in something else. The person being avoided tends to wonder why
and you might not want them to know that you are avoiding them. So ignoring
Sasuke would tell him something was wrong, and he might wonder about that.
Normally, it wouldn�t have matter, but if he thought to hard about it, then he
would recall memories that needed to be forgotten, so I talked about
everything. Sasuke in his normal polite tone told me to shut up, but I ignored
him and it felt good. Eventually he put distance between us walking further
back or in front. He helped me ignore him and I felt free. It didn�t matter
that we had sex. I could put that behind me and forget. Maybe not as well as
Sasuke did, but the more time that past and he didn�t remember the better I
felt. I understood my feelings and it no longer bothered me. I would never tell
him I loved him or let others know. But then, I realized something else, as Kyuubi�s
container, my love life will be nonexistent, but for one brief moment, I knew
what it felt to be held and those feelings would last a life time. I now knew
what I couldn�t have and accepted it.

The closer we got to the village the more excited I became.
I was finally home. We reported our mission to Tsunade and then we were free to
go.

�Naruto,� Sasuke said.

�Yes,� I responded and Sasuke waited until Kakashi and
Sakura left before speaking.

�How about I treat you to lunch? There is something we need
to talk about.� I froze but I knew he didn�t remember. A part of me wanted to
find out what he wanted but I couldn�t be alone with him. Maybe after a few
months things would be better but it�s only been a few weeks.

�Sorry Sasuke, it�s the first day back and there are things
I have to do,� I told him. �How about another time?� I asked.

He watched me for a few seconds before responding, �Never
mind it wasn�t important.� Then he left. I watched his back get smaller as he
moved through the crowd. He never looked back and my eyes followed him until he
disappeared from sight.

After a mission, Iruka and I get together and talk. Since it
took longer then expected to get back, he would be surprised, relieved and
happy to see me. I pictured his stunned eyes and elated smile.

Classes were still in session when I arrived at the academy,
so I sat on the bench outside the front door. Shortly after, parents arrived to
pick up their kids. They chatted with each other as far from me as possible. It
was apparent who their low whispers pertained to as they pointed and quickly
turned away whenever I looked up. The cold stares and unfriendly attitude are
usual. I learned early on to ignore this behavior and it no longer phased me. Now
there is numbness inside me. This negativity happens often but I don�t feel
anything. Later after dismissal, kids ran in every direction. One parent patted
a boy on the head, while one girl ran and wrapped her arms around her mother�s
waist. I stood and walked down the empty corridor towards the teachers� office.

�Iruka I�m back, �I said. �He looked up and smiled. I headed towards his desk,
when a foot appeared out of nowhere. I tripped, and fell on my face.

�You need to be more careful,� the foot�s owner said. I
didn�t recognize this teacher and thanked anyone who might be listening that I
was never his students.

I nodded to acknowledge his comment and walked over towards Iruka who was now
approaching. He looked angry and ready to pounce the other teacher, but I
couldn�t allow that to happen, so I blocked his approach. �It�s ok, lets go,� I
said, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the door.

Iruka didn�t speak until we were outside, �Why did you stop
me?� he asked.

�It wasn�t a big deal. I was clumsy and tripped. Maybe I need
to apologize for being....

�Don�t,� he commanded, interrupting me. �You wouldn�t have
tripped if he didn�t stick his foot out and you know he did it on purpose.�

�I know it wasn�t an accident, but I�m use to it and �� I
wanted to say it wasn�t a big deal but that wasn�t true.

�It�s ok Naruto.� Iruka said touching my shoulder. �Your
back and that�s something to celebrate. Right?� I smiled as he changed the
subject.

�Ramen?� Iruka asked.

�Of course,� I said. It had been weeks since eating my favorite
food.

�Then why are we standing here, let�s go.�

It took us five minutes to arrive. We sat in our usual seats
and prepared to order. Everything was normal until I took a deep breath and
instead of craving the ramen, my stomach felt nauseous

�Miso flavor?� the owner asked, knowing my normal choice.

My head moved up and down in an affirmative manner. I took
deep breaths, trying to settle my stomach. Iruka ordered the same and we
waited.

�Naruto are you ok?�

�Of course,� I responded.

�You look pale and your breathing funny.�

Before I could respond, two steaming bowls were placed in
front of us. The miso scent filled the air but instead of inhaling, I tried to
force myself not to breath. The thought of eating this stuff made me sick. I
pushed the bowl away, telling myself I wouldn�t throw up. The bowl fell off the
other side of the counter, breaking into many pieces by the cook�s feet.

��Naruto what�s
wrong?� Iruka asked, grabbing hold of my arm.

�I...� but before finishing the sentence another wave of
queasiness hit.

�Are you alright?� Iruka asked again.

�I don�t feel so good,� I responded as I stood up and walked
away with Iruka following behind.

�Are you sick?� he asked.

�I don�t get sick, but my stomach feels a little funny.�

�Maybe it�s something you ate.�

�I only ate fruit.�

�Maybe that�s it. You�ve been traveling and haven�t eaten
much. Your stomach needs time to settle and get back into routine before you
consume the foods you ate before you left. Come on, I will walk you home. A little
rest and you will feel better in no time.� Iruka said.

I nodded my head in agreement and walked towards my
apartment and the further I got from the restaurant the better I felt.

�Naruto rest and you will feel better.�

�I�m already better,� I told him.

�Nice try.� Iruka followed me through the door. �Maybe some
tea will help, or something light.� He opened the refrigerator and the smell of
rotten milk filled the air. This time I couldn�t stop myself. I ran to the
bathroom and emptied the entire contents of my stomach, which wasn�t much.

�It�s ok,� Iruka said, as he rubbed my back up and down.

�The smell,� I said, hoping he would understand.

�Oh the milk,� he said. This time just the mention of it had
me heaving in front of the toilet again. After a few minutes, Iruka spoke
again, �I�ll be right back.� He left me sitting on the floor. My head started
to pound but my stomach felt a little lighter, emptier.

�Come on Naruto. Brush your teeth and drink some water.� He
walked me to bed. �Do you need me to stay?�

�And what watch me sleep? No thanks, I feel better now.
Maybe I had some bad fruit this morning.�

�I�ll stop by later. Oh and the refrigerator is cleaned,� he
added.

�Thank you, now I think sleep is a good idea.� I yawned and
dozed off.

It was dark when I woke from my afternoon nap. I cringed at
the thought of sleeping during the day. That was something I hadn�t even done
as a child. Now I felt good and very hungry. My stomach growled in response and
I laughed at its intensity.

With nothing edible to eat, I grabbed my wallet and headed
out. The supermarket was closest but with my inability to make anything but a ramen
cup, which was definitely out, I headed towards a string of restaurants. The
smell of fish and sushi filled the air and I wanted it. I hated the stuff but
today I craved it.

It was a cute dimly lit restaurant with small intimate
tables. I scanned the menu posted by the seating area and decided on a mix
sushi platter. My mouth started to water thinking about eating each piece
covered in wasabi sauce.

�Excuse me, but we are all booked up,� the host said.

The restaurant had plenty tables. I looked back towards the
man and met cold hard brown eyes filled with hate. No the restaurant wasn�t �booked
up�; it didn�t serve me. My hand moved to my stomach, touching the seal. �Oh, I
need a reservation,� I said, smiling and pretending I didn�t know the real reason.
I laughed, made excuses and left. This incident reminded me why I only eat at
one place. �

I walked slowly out and back towards my apartment. When I
turned the corner, I started to walk faster. I needed to get home. Usually
these problems don�t happen because I prevent them. I don�t go to restaurants.
I avoid people. I don�t put myself in these painful situations. I�m not a
sadist. I learned a long time ago not to let it bother me. I don�t have enough
tears to cry when someone is mean to me. But, I could feel them coming on.� I wanted to cry. What�s wrong with me? I
asked. I hurried down the street and ran into something. My body fell backwards
and I looked up to see Sasuke staring down at me.

�What are you doing here,� I asked.

He looked up and down the street before answering, �Last
time I looked it was a public place,� he said.

�Yeah it is, but tell me why you�re hanging out in the
street in front of my apartment,�

�Dobe, obviously I�m here to see you.�

�Go away,� I said. I couldn�t deal with him.

�I have a message for you.�

�Fine then, tell me the message and leave.�

�Kakashi canceled practice for the rest of the week,� he
said

�Why?�

�He�s been sent on another mission.�

�Oh, ok thanks for letting me know.� I said and at that
moment, my stomach growled. If I could kick myself without it drawing attention,
I would have done it.

�Hungry,� he asked, smirking.

�Yeah, I was going to get some Sushi.� I said.

�You hate sushi and you�re not going to find it inside your
apartment.�

�I was but�.� I couldn�t tell him the truth. I let no one know
how badly I�m treated.

�But�� he said coaxing me to continue.

�It�s too late to eat.�

�It�s 6 o'clock. I think you�ll be ok. Well, unless you have
an extremely delicate stomach.� He had that smug, arrogant look on his face,
the one that pisses me off.

�Bastard,� I said

�Just come on,� he said walking towards a sushi bar.

�What are you doing, and why do I have to follow you?�

�You�re the one that�s hungry,� he said guiding me towards
the takeout area. �What do you want?�

I picked the largest mixed sushi platter. He ordered it and
I pulled out my wallet to pay but he stopped me. �It�s fine. Next time we go to
lunch it�s your treat.�

�Ok,� I said. We walked out and he handed me the platter.

�If you want Sushi, don�t let anyone keep you from it.�

�I don�t know what you mean.�

�Of course you don�t.� he said sarcastically then paused,
�Naruto there�s something I would like to talk to you about.�

�Naruto there you are,� Iruka said interrupting our
conversation. He turned towards Sasuke and said hello before turning back to me
�You should be resting.�

�I was hungry and wanted sushi,� I said defending my actions

�I have chicken soup. It�s lighter and should be easier on
your stomach�

�I�m feeling better. Besides I really want Sushi.�

�Naruto you hate Sushi,� Iruka responded. �I don�t want you
to get sick again.�

�You�re sick?� Sasuke asked.

�Not really,� I stated.

�Who�s sick,� Sakura asked coming up from behind Iruka.

�Sakura what are you doing here?� I asked.

�I have a message from Kakashi, �she responded.

�I already gave it to him,� Sasuke said.

�Anyway who�s sick?� she asked again.

�No one,� I said but they weren�t going to give up, so I
added, �My stomach was bothering me earlier but now it�s ok. It was probably
something I ate.�

�I don�t know Naruto. First your sensitivity to the cold and
now a stomachache maybe you should see Tsunade,� Sakura suggested.

�Sakura has a point and you didn�t tell me you were sick
during the mission,� Iruka added.

My headache was returning. Everyone was coming at me from
different angles. �I�m fine. I don�t need to see a doctor. Now if you will
excuse me, I�m hungry.� At that point, I turned towards my apartment and walked
away.

�Wait Naruto, take the soup.�

�Thanks Iruka. I really do feel better.� I said. �Oh and
goodnight everyone,� Then I walked inside.

I ate everything: the soup and the large sushi platter. I
couldn�t get enough, and then after I had a full belly, I yawned. I was still
tired. It surprised me especially after a long afternoon nap, but why fight it?
I stripped to my boxers and fell into bed. My eyes felt heavy and quickly I
fell asleep.

I heard a voice calling me. I turned towards it. This place
looked familiar. I had been here before. �Who�s there?� I asked but no one
answered. I walked down the dark corridor. I could feel intense heat coming from
ahead. I continued towards it. Whatever it was, it was calling me. A red light
caught my attention. I walked towards it and entered the room. The large metal
bars stood ahead of me. �What do you want?� I asked, fully aware of who called
me here.

�To talk,� Kyuubi responded.

�About what?� I asked. Not entirely pleased with the
situation,

�How are you feeling?�

Kyuubi knew I was sick and maybe was responsible. �What do
you mean?� I asked, but my voice was laced with suspicion.

�Now isn�t the time for attitude, Brat,� he responded.

�You know my name use it if you want to talk,� I stated.

He stared at me, sizing me up before he spoke again, �No now
isn�t the time. Get over yourself and when you�re ready come speak with me.
There are things I need to tell you but only when you�re able to listen.�

�Get over myself,� I screamed but before I could continue,
my body moved from the room or did the room move from my body. I was going
backwards down the corridor but my legs weren�t moving. �Wait,� I yelled but
nothing happened. I was being dismissed. Almost instantly, I sat up and looked
around the room. Now awake at 3:30 in the morning, I groaned and cursed the fox
for interrupting what could have been a peaceful slumber.

I tossed and turned for a while thinking about our
conversation. Kyuubi wanted something or had to say something important. I
didn�t believe for a moment his question about my health had anything to do
with concern. He was responsible for my sensitivity to cold. Could he be
responsible for more? I forced myself to stop thinking. At this point in time,
I didn�t care. I just wanted to sleep and hopefully it would be in peace.�

AN: Thanks to all
those who responded. I have the whole story mapped out, so I will finish
it.� When I outlined the story the
flashback part wasn�t suppose to be this long, but I kept adding stuff that I
thought helped move the story along. We should be back to the main timeline in
the next one or two chapters. Since everyone seemed to like this length or
wanted it longer then I won�t shorten the chapters. Chapter 8 is halfway done
and will take me a few days to finish writing. Then I have to edit it and post
it.
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Hidden Heartache