Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

The Thin Line Between Love and Hate - COMPLETE	By : kizukatana Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2093 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto does. I make no money from anything I write on this site.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
-xXx-
"I'll call Kiba tomorrow morning, and come by. Maybe... I could meet you for lunch?"
"Lunch would be great," Sasuke opened the door, and paused, looking the blond squarely in the eye. "But you're wrong about one thing you said, Naruto. I never filed the final divorce papers. We're still married."
Naruto lay in his bed, the words replaying through his head over and over again. He still didn't know how to react to them. When Sasuke had left with that parting salvo, Naruto had just stood there like he had been shot between the eyes. Sasuke had smirked, then closed the door softly behind him. Naruto had no idea how long he had just stood there staring at the closed door. He was a little concerned that it might have been more than an hour.
He wasn't quite sure how he had managed to take the bus back to his apartment and gotten off at the right stop. He hadn't bought a car yet, since he had only been back a short while and hadn't been totally sure he would be staying. It was probably for the best that he hadn't driven anywhere tonight, his mind being the complete mess that it was.
Still married?
If he had to be honest with himself, his first reaction had been a surge of pure possessiveness. Mine. Sasuke was still his, at least legally. And just how stupid was that for a reaction? But it was immediately followed up with several other thoughts. Like - what does this mean they are to each other now? And what the fuck had Gaara been doing, not telling him this? And what did that make Naruto, when he had slept with Yahiko and was still married to Sasuke? Naruto had taken their vows seriously, even if he thought for two years that Sasuke didn't. Naruto would never have slept with Yahiko if he had thought they were still married. Never. It didn't matter what Sasuke had done. Naruto had his own moral bar, and he had held to it. He thought. But now...
But that was stupid. He had signed the papers, and just because the state hadn't recognized the divorce, it didn't really change things. He had put in writing that he viewed himself as no longer married. And so had Sasuke. The rational part of Naruto knew that it wasn't cheating, and that Sasuke wouldn't view it as such. To be honest, Naruto didn't even view Sasuke's affairs as cheating, really. Sasuke had already told him in no uncertain terms that their relationship was over, and had given Naruto the divorce papers before he had slept with anyone else. In Naruto's mind, cheating meant that you told a person you would be faithful, and then you weren't. Cheating was not breaking up with someone, filing for divorce, then immediately having sex with other people. That was being an asshole. But not a cheater.
He lay there, looking at the ceiling and trying to figure out what he needed to do. After spending two years keeping everyone at arms length and avoiding almost all ties with his old life, he was suddenly thrown back into total immersion. He needed to call Shikamaru and Kiba, and let them know he would be coming by tomorrow. With Suigetsu working there, he was sure they had already heard he was back in town. It was already getting pretty late, so he should do that soon. Then he needed to call Gaara, and chew his ass out for not telling him that he was still married. Since Gaara never slept much, he didn't need to hurry up with that.
Next he should probably warn Hinata, but he would do that tomorrow, since it was so late. She might completely pass out if Sasuke confronted her with the sordid photos and she had no advance warning. He wasn't sure Sasuke would even bother, now that he knew the truth, but he couldn't be sure and didn't want Hinata taken by surprise with it all. Especially not by Sasuke, since she had always been so uncomfortable around him. She had not done anything wrong, really. When he had told her to stop, she had.
Yahiko had left him a message, just wanting to know how he was doing. He was supposed to have met him at the Onyx tonight, but wasn't up to it. Especially not now that he would have a full day starting with an early morning tomorrow. He'd sent him a text saying he wouldn't make it tonight. He'd have to talk to Yahiko tomorrow though. He'd meet him at the club. And tell him he was still married, at least for now. Yahiko would know what that meant for Naruto. It would mean they were back to being just friends. Naruto liked Yahiko, but the thought of not being lovers anymore didn't bother him. He supposed it should, but he had always known it was not serious between them. And had been up front with Yahiko about it as well.
After two years of going entire weeks without talking to anyone, he was feeling a little overwhelmed by the sudden flood of socializing he needed to do. He picked up his phone. He still knew Shikamaru's number by heart from being the man's friend for more than a decade. "Hey, Shika. It's Naruto."
"Naruto! I just heard you were back this past week. Where the hell have you been? Where are you staying now?"
"I've got an apartment in town. I just got back a few -"
"What's the address? I'm coming over."
"You don't need to do that. It's late, and I know you have work tomorrow -"
Naruto heard the familiar sound of Shikamaru sighing. "Don't be troublesome. I haven't seen one of my best friends in over two years, and the last time I saw you, you were in the middle of a major breakdown. Just give me the address."
Naruto smiled. He had been somehow worried that Shikamaru would have been swayed by Sasuke while he was gone and maybe wouldn't be so glad to see him. But he should have known better. Shikamaru was the smartest person Naruto had ever met, but his intelligence wasn't just the book smart kind. Shika had a strong mind and an ability to read people and situations. No one could convince that man of something that he didn't know to be the truth with his own mind. Naruto gave him the address of his flat, and Shikamaru - never one to mince words - said he would be right over and cut out.
Naruto looked at the clock. He decided he'd just text Kiba and let him know he'd be coming tomorrow. He fired off a quick message, and felt his hands start to sweat. He was really going to do this? After all the times over the past two years he had told himself he wouldn't. Shouldn't. One conversation with Sasuke, and he was already changing his plans. Although to be fair, he honestly would never have guessed that there could be any conversation that would make Naruto change his mind on whether what Sasuke had done to him was unforgivable. But it had, at least in part.
The thought of going back to the office that Sasuke and Naruto had formed together had Naruto panicking, though. He wasn't prepared for this. 24 hours ago, he wasn't even considering it... had actually explicitly planned to never set foot in that office again. Now everything was turned upside down. He would have to face everyone, and deal with their questions about why he had left so abruptly, and what his plans were now. He wondered if they thought he had just gone off in a huff, or that Sasuke had fired him, or if some had guessed that he had completely fallen apart. He didn't really want to talk about that. But of course people would ask where he'd been and what he'd been doing. And they'd ask him if he were back to stay.
The first two questions Naruto didn't want to talk about, but he at least could come up with some answers. The last question... he had no fucking clue how to answer it. Yesterday, he had his whole new life mapped out and taking off. But now... with what had happened with Sasuke this evening, he didn't know what to do. His mind was a complete muddle. Did he want his old life back? All of it? He wasn't self delusional enough to deny that he missed a lot of things. Especially Sasuke... particularly now he knew that the Sasuke that he had fallen in love with was still here, and the cold-hearted bastard that had seemingly thrown him aside for no reason had been a façade. Even being with him for just that short amount of time today had brought back so much of what he had missed about the man in the first place that it made him ache.
And it wasn't just the sex that he missed, although that had always been amazing. He missed their friendship even more... missed working with Sasuke, just the way they had fit together, built things together, complementing each other's skills and having fun. Sasuke's dry sense of humor and prissy, controlling ways. He missed annoying him and mussing him up. He grinned thinking about all the times he had done just that in the past. He missed the way it had been so much.
But even he could see, especially now, after two years of separation, that it hadn't been perfect. He didn't miss the feeling of inadequacy that he had always felt in that old life. Even in the beginning he had known that Sasuke deserved better than him. And part of him had always been waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for Sasuke to wake up and realize he should be with someone more impressive and move on.
Naruto liked who he was now, the person he had become. He had carved out his own path, without help from Sasuke and based only on his own talents and abilities. He didn't want to go back to feeling substandard. And if he were honest with himself, that part of it wasn't actually Sasuke's fault. While they had competed and insulted each other as a matter of course, the barbs that Sasuke had thrown at him had always been more trash talking and jousting... not really cruel. The reason that they sometimes had stung more than they should had more to do with Naruto's own feelings of inadequacy growing up poor and without a family in a society that valued money and connections. Compared to Sasuke, Naruto wasn't in the same class. Wasn't even in the same school. Sasuke didn't seem to mind it, but Naruto always had.
Would he still feel that way when he stepped back into his old shoes? He had made his own way, created his own name, and was achieving success with his own skills. He had spent the past two years really focusing on what those were. Finally, he could look himself in the eye and know that he was capable of achieving things without riding on Sasuke's coattails. He took a shaking breath, and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. He was stronger now, and knew his own worth. Would he have to choose between Sasuke and his own identity, or could he have both?
Would Sasuke accept Naruto's stronger identity, or was what had attracted Sasuke to Naruto in the first place the fact that Naruto had little identity outside of Sasuke for so long? Naruto didn't know. But Naruto had changed, and there was no turning back.
And then there was the issue of all the lovers Sasuke had taken. Could Naruto get past that? He didn't consider it cheating, but it still hurt. It had only ever been the two of them, but now Sasuke had been with so many others. How would that change things between them? Just being with Yahiko had changed Naruto, and altered his views on intimacy. He had slept with someone he liked a lot, but didn't love. And that was only one person. He didn't know if Sasuke had been serious about any of his lovers, or not. He didn't know what to expect from him now. But from what he had seen, people who had gone through as many sexual partners as Sasuke had typically didn't go back to monogamous relationships. And they would be bound to run into his former lovers upon occasion, with so many of them around. Potentially even people in the office. It wasn't as though Sasuke had been particularly discreet. In the past, no matter how many people threw themselves as Sasuke's feet, Naruto had known that he was the only one that the raven had ever let touch him in that way... that he had known a side to Sasuke that no one else did. Now, that was not true. By a long shot. And it changed things.
But Naruto knew he might be jumping the gun, worrying about all this. Last night Sasuke had made it clear that he at least had some interest in rebuilding a relationship with Naruto. But how serious of one, and of what type, Naruto had no idea. If Sasuke was looking for an 'open relationship' like the one Yahiko had with Konan, he was not going to find it with Naruto. No fucking way.
He walked to his closet, looking at the suits that he owned. He thought back to the sleek, Armani business suits that Sasuke had purchased for him. Always black, with white or blue button down shirts and usually a red tie. When a recording label had reached out to Naruto interested in bringing him on as an artistic director for some of their music videos for some of their Goth and metal artists that were interested in a 'dark' feel, he had needed a suit. He had finally learned that Sasuke had not been simply trying to annoy him by forcing him to wear certain clothes to formal meetings. This was just the reality of business in any industry, even the music and art worlds. If you wanted to be taken seriously by the big wigs, you had to dress the part. Naruto had felt a brief twinge of guilt for all the grousing he had given Sasuke in the past over this.
Not knowing much about clothing on his own, he had let Konan give him a crash course on 'rocker fashion', and ended up choosing a slate, skinny Dolce and Gabbana suit, under which he wore with tight-fitting, thin burnt-orange cotton henley. It was the first suit he owned that he had actually liked. And the collarless shirt didn't make him feel like he was being strangled. While it wasn't technically business formal, it would be as close as Naruto was willing to go anymore. And fuck it. It was still half his company. He'd hated dress codes since his school days. He'd wear what he wanted.
He laughed a bit when he thought of what Sasuke's reaction was likely to be. They man had always been so particular about clothes. Well, Naruto decided he would start off as he meant to go on. If his current self wasn't compatible with his old life or the people in it, then at least he would know.
Naruto heard a knock at his door and ran to answer it. He flung it open, and immediately embraced his childhood friend.
"Shika - it's damn good to see you," Naruto said.
"Took you long enough to call me," was the reply. Naruto grinned sheepishly.
"Come on in," Naruto stepped back, Shikamaru following him inside.
"I like your place... it's very you," Shikamaru said, looking around.
"Yeah, well, that's what happens when you live alone," Naruto said, a strange mix of sadness and pride coloring his voice.
Shikamaru of course noticed, and understood. "Yeah. The separation has been hard on both of you, but good for you as well, I guess."
Naruto just looked at his friend, taking in the serious tone he used. "Do you want anything to drink?"
"Sure... whatever you're having."
Naruto walked over to the fridge and brought out two beers. Given it was already late and they would both have an early start to the morning, he didn't think anything harder would be appropriate. They sat on the orange couch. They talked about work, travel, old friends. It had been so long since Naruto had talked to someone who knew him from his past. He felt the tension and nervousness melt away as he realized that this friendship had withstood his running away. Maybe the others would as well.
"So are you seeing anyone, Shika?"
Shikamaru smiled a little. "Yeah... Temari and I got together a little over a year ago."
"Temari! Like, as in Gaara's sister Temari? The one that everyone is terrified to date because either she or her brothers will likely dismember them if it goes wrong?"
Shikamaru just shrugged casually. "Yeah, that's the one."
"Damn, Shika. You must have stones of steel. That's awesome. How did you two even meet?"
Shikamaru flushed. "Actually, I guess I have you to thank for that. When you turned over all your legal matters to Gaara, I started seeing him quite a bit. Especially after he basically went ballistic on Sasuke, about two months after you left."
Shikamaru paused, looking directly at Naruto. They had known each other too long for Naruto to not recognize the pain and questions in his friend's eyes.
Naruto sighed. "Gaara told you, didn't he?"
Shikamaru didn't pretend to misunderstand. "Yeah. He was trying to get me to reign in Sasuke, and knew that if I understood what your situation was I wouldn't let Sasuke persecute you. I saw the hospital report. Dammit, Naruto. Why didn't you call me? You didn't have to go through everything by yourself. You have people other than Sasuke who care about you."
Naruto flinched, hearing the underlying hurt in his friend's relatively stoic tone. "I'm sorry, Shika... it was just... I was so messed up. And I didn't want to put anyone in the position of choosing sides, especially you, since you were still working here. Plus..." Naruto shifted uncomfortably, "... it was definitely not one of my finer moments. I could hardly remember to eat, and I didn't really have any concept of how much time was passing or the shape I was in until... until I hit bottom. And then I was so pissed off at myself for letting it get to that point, that I didn't want anyone to know. As far as the people in Andalusia knew, I was just recovering from an illness. There was no shame in that. People from home would know the truth."
Shikamaru sighed. "Idiot. There's no shame in being devastated by the loss of a spouse. No one here would have judged you. We could have helped. You didn't need to go through it alone."
Naruto smiled softly. "Thanks, man. I guess... I just wasn't able to think clearly. But I know you would have been there for me if I'd let you."
Shikamaru gave a slight nod, acknowledging the statement, and accepting the apology.
"So I am guessing Sasuke told you about the letter and the photos, and you told him what really happened that night."
Naruto's eyes widened. "How do you know about that? I just found out yesterday. Sasuke came to me as soon as he got the letter. I didn't think anyone else even knew."
"You know that he is still living with Itachi, right?"
Naruto's blood started to freeze, realizing that he had been wrong in thinking that worst case scenario was Hinata being confronted by Sasuke. Hinata being confronted by Itachi who would be seeing blood on behalf of his beloved baby brother was a way scarier thing. Itachi on the warpath for his brother was like all four horsemen of the apocalypse combined. Naruto fumbled for his phone, despite the late hour. "Holy shit. I have to warn Hinata before Itachi -"
"He already went and got her."
"What?!"
"Sasuke had left the photos on their kitchen table when he got back the night you punched him," Shikamaru smirked, remembering the way Itachi had seemed both pissed and pleased that his brother had gotten punched. "You're still the only one other than Itachi that has the nerve to give Sasuke what he deserves."
Naruto grinned sheepishly, not feeling particularly proud that he had punched his ex in the face, but not feeling particularly guilty about it either. Shikamaru continued, "Itachi saw the file and went to see Hinata and find out what the hell had happened."
"Oh, my god... is she ok?"
"No," Shikamaru burst out laughing. Naruto was surprised and more than a little annoyed. Sasuke had always disliked Hinata, but Naruto had thought everyone else, including Shikamaru, had liked her. Shikamaru saw the scowl forming on Naruto's face, and forced himself to continue through his laughing. "She was absolutely furious. Even Itachi was impressed. She insisted on coming down with Itachi to Gaara's office to discuss what to do about this situation with Gaara and me, once Itachi told her that the divorce wasn't finalized. She wanted to make sure Gaara called off his dogs from Sasuke and that you understood that there was some reason behind what Sasuke had done."
Naruto tried to imagine the timid Hinata dragging Itachi down to confront Gaara with her... and his brain simply failed to conjure up a visual. Itachi and Gaara were arguably two of the most intimidating men on the planet, and Hinata was - Naruto kept recalling the blushing and stammering brunette. Nope. Still not able to get a visual on that scene.
"Then she laid out some ideas on just exactly what should be done about Sakura. I think... Itachi might be a little bit in love with her after that. She was kind of scary."
Naruto just sat there with a stupid grin on his face. His little Hinata... all grown up and playing head mistress with evil geniuses. It was awesome. And if Hinata ended up being Sasuke's sister-in-law... Naruto withheld an evil chuckle. He didn't really believe it could happen, but it made for a hilarious thought.
"So... the discussion was around just bringing everyone up to speed on what had gone down between Sasuke and me two years ago, and extracting some sort of revenge on Sakura? You're not... going to try to force things between Sasuke and me, right?"
Shikmaru shrugged. "Assuming you both keep your heads out of your asses and actually talk to each other, which it sounds like you are already starting to do, we see no need for immediate interference."
Naruto thought about it a little more, and realized that most likely Itachi, Gaara, and Shikamaru must have decided that Naruto and Sasuke were going to get back together. The combined horsepower of those three intellects could easily destroy or create the earth 100 times over. If the three of them had gotten together and decided to meddle in Naruto's life, he was screwed. He looked at Shikamaru consideringly, wondering how much the man would actually admit to.
. . .
It was late when Shikamaru finally left. Naruto kept trying to imagine a fiery Hinata ordering Gaara and Itachi around. It provided several minutes of amusement. But after a while, his mind shifted back to what tomorrow at the office would be like. And lunch with Sasuke. What would they even talk about in a public setting? Work? Friends? Their 'marriage', and whether or not to file?
And that brought Naruto full circle to the one looming fact that his brain had been contemplating from a safe distance as though it were a UFO. He was still married to Sasuke. And what the fuck did that even mean now? Did he want to still be married to Sasuke? He had finally made his peace with the divorce. Finally, finally, finally he had gotten his shit together enough to be ok with no longer having his life touch Sasuke's. Hadn't he? But then why did he feel this sense of almost elation that Sasuke had decided not to go through with it? That it was somehow a small miracle that he was still married to Sasuke? Even if he simultaneously broke out in a cold sweat of sheer panic at the thought of being back with him. And what the hell would he talk about tomorrow at lunch with his estranged husband?
Husband. The word resonated through him, and his body reacted instantly and aggressively to it blending the word with the image of Sasuke. Naruto looked down, and literally rolled his eyes at his own dick, which had sprung to throbbing attention. "Seriously? That's what you want to jump straight into?" He asked himself in a completely exasperated voice. No, he was not talking to his dick. Just... out loud to himself in his bedroom. Because that was more socially acceptable. Right? He ignored the sound of his own teeth grinding, and walked to the bathroom to relieve himself of the tension between his thighs. Having gone two years without sex until Yahiko, he had gotten pretty efficient at self-service. And whatever happened between him and Sasuke, Naruto wanted it to start with what was in their heads and hearts, not what was in their pants. Sex had never been their problem. If things were going to get resolved, it had to start with fixing what was wrong, not what was right.
He just really hoped he had enough willpower to hold to that.
-xXx-
Sasuke groaned as his hands slid over the smooth, tan skin. He felt the heat searing through him at every point of contact between his body and the hard body twining around him. Excruciating pleasure crashed over him, as he felt his body slam into that of his lover's, again and again. And the voice, the words that always were said, whispered in his ear by that low, husky voice like a mantra. "God, Sasuke, I love you so fucking much."
Sasuke woke up, shuddering in the aftermath of the intense pleasure of the dream. It has been almost six months since he had had one of his 'Naruto' dreams, and felt the hollow emptiness in his chest of waking up alone in his bed. Usually, he'd be swamped with that empty feeling for hours, but today the emptiness faded into anticipation as he remembered the night before, and the fact that he would be seeing Naruto again today at the office. After what had happened, or more specifically what had almost happened but didn't in Naruto's studio, his body had been full of pent-up desire. He wouldn't trivialize it and call it lust. It was more than that. Sure, he loved Naruto's body. I mean, who wouldn't? But he had slept with other people with fantastic bodies. And barely gotten off. He loved Naruto: Naruto's passion, his honesty, his integrity, his humor... all of it wrapped into that unbelievably sexy and humble package of Naruto. He got up and threw his now sticky boxers in the hamper and went and took a shower.
He had done some hard thinking when he had gotten home last night. He wanted Naruto back. All the reasons he had wanted to divorce Naruto in the first place were gone. And he didn't blame him for his relationship with Yahiko, though he was going to do everything in his power to end that completely and abruptly. Last night had made it painfully clear that Naruto had never betrayed him. And it had also given him hope that things could be resolved between them. Naruto didn't hate him. That had been a tremendous relief. But Sasuke knew that Naruto still hadn't fully forgiven him either. Or at least, he hadn't fully resolved what he felt about Sasuke after so much time had passed, and so much damage had been wrought.
Sasuke understood that. He accepted that challenge. As long as Naruto didn't hate him, as long as he at least was willing to try to understand why Sasuke had done what he'd done, then there was a way to mend this. Naruto's rejection of him that night before had hurt, even though he should have expected it. Sasuke hadn't been thinking clearly at the time, his mind clouded by alcohol and lust, and he had acted rashly. But he wouldn't make the same mistake again. He would let Naruto come to him this time. He needed to give Naruto the chance to vent his anger, and come to terms with it. And he needed to remind Naruto of why they had worked so well together in the first place, of all the reasons that they were the only two people for each other.
He smirked slightly when he thought of Naruto's expression when he had left his loft the night before. Naruto had looked completely shocked. He hadn't even moved as Sasuke had closed the door. Sasuke counted that as a good thing. He had taken a risk in revealing so early that they were still married. Naruto could call Gaara first thing in the morning and file their copy of the divorce papers, making it a reality. Sasuke's stomach clenched at the thought. But somehow, he knew that Naruto wouldn't do that, not when there was still a chance for their relationship to be repaired. Sasuke told himself that if Naruto had delayed two years before signing the damn papers when he thought Sasuke had simply gotten bored with him and tossed him aside, he would hold off until they'd had time to fully talk things through now that everything had changed.
And the risk of not telling Naruto would have been greater, because then he might have felt like Sasuke was hiding it or manipulating him in some way. If they were going to have any shot at all of rebuilding things between them, it couldn't start with secrets. So Sasuke had just thrown it out there, and waited to see the reaction.
He was looking forward to today. For the first time in two years, he could feel anticipation simmer in his veins at the thought of going to work. He realized that he hadn't spoken with Itachi since he had called and asked for Naruto's address. Itachi was being unusually patient at being kept in the dark about his little brother's activities, and Sasuke suddenly had the unsettling feeling that his brother had not been idle during this time. Hinata had come back into town yesterday, he remembered now.
Sasuke suddenly also realized that he had left the folder containing Sakura's letter on the kitchen table when he had come back from seeing Naruto the night at his apartment. His jaw had been throbbing, and he had just dropped it on the table when he had gone to get some ice. The next morning, he hadn't even thought to look for it, being focused just on finding Naruto and talking things out. Sasuke dried off and walked to the kitchen. The folder was nowhere to be found. Itachi was not home either. He decided he'd corner Itachi when he got back from work and find out what the man had been up to.
-xXx-
Sasuke looked at the clock in the office. It was just 9am. Shikamaru had texted Sasuke earlier that morning saying that he would be brining Naruto in. Sasuke again felt a flash of annoyance that someone else seemed to know things about Naruto that Sasuke didn't. Why did Naruto need someone to bring him in? And if he did need someone, why hadn't he asked Sasuke?
His fingers curled around the small circle of metal that he held in his pocket. He never really understood why he had kept his wedding band. He had though about throwing it in a gutter into the sewers, giving it to a homeless man, melting it down and turning it into a gold bullet (don't ask why he thought about that one, he didn't really know). But in the end, it had ended up in the small drawer in his nightstand by the side of the bed that Naruto used to sleep on.
And somehow this morning, as he was getting dressed for work, he had opened the drawer and took the ring out. He had wanted to put it on, as a declaration of his intent. Naruto now knew that they were still legally married. But they both knew that there was a big difference between the legal status and the reality of the relationship. For now. His hand still in his pocket, he slowly slid his ring finger into the familiar band of gold. He wondered if Naruto had kept his. But it didn't matter. Sasuke ran his thumb over the ring now on his finger... an admission that he still belonged to Naruto. And he hoped that Naruto still belonged to him. If there was one thing the past two years had taught Sasuke, it was that there was no one else he wanted besides Naruto. Everyone else was just empty and shallow compared with him.
Sasuke just had to remind him, show him again how they fit together, that there could never be anyone else for either of them. In his mind, they'd already wasted two years being miserable without each other. Why waste any more time?
If he had his way, Naruto would be living with him by the end of the week. He snorted softly at his own ego. Sasuke knew he had done some serious damage. And Naruto had always been a challenge, even in the smoothest of times. This would be the biggest one yet. But rather than feel nervous or discouraged, Sasuke felt exhilarated. The challenge and friction and brutal honesty that they had always inflicted on each other was at the core of what Sasuke loved best about their relationship. Naruto wouldn't just fold and play nice because Sasuke told him to. There would be no facades, no falseness between them, unlike everyone else in the superficial world that Sasuke had grown up in. And he was going to get that back. Because they belonged to each other. And no one else.
"Welcome back!" Sasuke was snapped out of his reverie by the sounds of people shouting, and he looked up to see Naruto walking in with Shikamaru. Naruto's expression was a mixture of surprise, humble embarrassment, and happiness as he realized that so many people were here to greet him. Naruto blushed slightly, smiling, while he rubbed the back of his neck. So typical. The dobe still didn't realize how much people liked him and cared about him. How he was able to light up the entire room just by walking into it. Somewhere in his mind, Naruto still viewed himself as that grubby, poor little orphan that was too loud and too uncouth. It always amazed Sasuke that Naruto had never become a completely conceited asshole give his looks and accomplishments. But somehow, he hadn't.
Sasuke had hung back, letting the swarm of employees greet his blond. Naruto's eyes scanned the room, then locked onto his. A small smile formed on the tan lips, and Sasuke's lips turned up slightly in return, just as Kiba let out a roar and nearly picked Naruto off the ground in a bear hug. "Really good to have you back, man!"
Naruto laughed and hugged the man back. "Good to be back. Sorry I fell off the face of the earth for a while."
"So are you back to stay? What's the deal?" Kiba asked, still smiling excitedly.
Sasuke noticed the way Naruto's face seemed to freeze. His smile was still in place, so no one but Sasuke and Shikamaru caught the hesitation. "Yeah, well, that's part of what I wanted to talk to you about. Let's go to your office and catch up on how things are going."
Kiba heard what he wanted to hear, and took that as a yes. Sasuke knew better. Naruto was hedging... because he hadn't decided.
"Naruto! I can't believe that you used to work here! What the hell are you doing back? Don't you have a video shoot tomorrow? Look at you... that suit is fucking hot! Has Yahiko seen you in this yet? Man, he's gonna bust something when he does." Suigetsu said, completely ignoring the freezing glare that was coming from the dark-haired man behind him.
Naruto punched Suigetsu on the shoulder, glancing nervously at Sasuke. "Still working on that connection between your brain and your mouth, eh, Suigetsu?"
Naruto walked over to where Sasuke was standing. "Hey," he said, feeling slightly awkward after Suigetsu's comment. "We still on for lunch today?"
"Sure. You go talk things through with Kiba on the current state of the staff, and then we'll go through the portfolio with the department heads. We can grab lunch, then in the afternoon you can meet with the new hires in the marketing group," Sasuke's tone was even, but Naruto wasn't fooled. Fucking Suigetsu, Naruto thought irritably. He simply nodded then let himself be led of by an exuberant Kiba.
Sasuke's eyes followed the blond down the hall to Kiba's office. He had to agree with Suigetsu on one thing, though. The tightly tailored fit of Naruto's suit was pretty fucking hot. And if he had anything to do about it, Yahiko was NOT going to see Naruto in it.
Shikamaru had seen the exchange, and walked over to Sasuke.
"You ok?"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the man. "Why did you drive Naruto in?"
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow in surprise. Sasuke was... jealous? He must have entered some alternate universe for an insecure Sasuke to exist. "He hasn't bought a car yet. He mentioned it last night, so I just texted him this morning and told him I would pick him up."
Sasuke clenched his jaw, trying to get himself back under control. Yahiko was evidently some sort of business partner to Naruto, in addition to being his lover. He knew where Naruto lived and Sasuke had had to ask. Shikamaru knew that Naruto needed a car, and had been over to his apartment the night before. And had Naruto's cell number to text him.
Sasuke didn't have Naruto's new cell number. Didn't know that Naruto didn't have a car anymore (of course he wouldn't have kept his old one if he had been living outside the country for two years). He hated that everyone else seemed to know things about his husband that he didn't. He took a breath, knowing he was being possessive and irrational. "Right," was all he said.
Shikamaru suppressed rolling his eyes, then walked out of his boss's office. He hadn't missed the glint of gold on Sasuke's left hand. He wondered if Naruto would notice. He thought for a moment about his generally oblivious friend. Probably not. Luckily, there were several people ready to help give him a nudge if he needed it. But if Sasuke had made up his mind to that extent, he doubted external interference would be necessary. No one knew how to push Naruto's buttons like Sasuke. He just hoped that the walls of their offices were thick enough that everyone wouldn't get to hear it when it happened.
. . . .
"We own a chain of grocery stores? What the fuck, Sasuke."
They were sitting in the board room, seated around a long table with the ten most senior people in the company. They had been giving Naruto an overview of the current portfolio of businesses that they now owned, and the performance of each.
Sasuke rolled his eyes at the blond's comment. "Look, we needed to balance out our portfolio. The grocery stores provide a more steady cash flow and balance our risk across sectors that we were over-exposed on -"
"Yeah, yeah. Financial business jargon blah-blah-blah. So why is it underperforming and what the hell is the marketing strategy. This is a consumer business, so what are we doing to drive foot traffic repeat business?"
Suigetsu handed Naruto an overview of their commercial strategy, including photos of the stores, TV advertising stills, and print ads.
"Um... so the name of your group is supposed to be 'creative marketing', right? So, literally, that means you are supposed to be creative in designing the look and feel of the advertising campaigns. I see these and all I get from this is you are advertising to humans who eat food. That can't be the value proposition. What kind of store is this? High end? Gourmet? Convenience? Cheap? What kind of shoppers? Retirees or hipsters? What are we working with here? I need to know if we should be stocking prune juice and Depends pads, or margarita mix and Trojan ultrathins."
Sasuke leaned back in his chair, just letting the conversation roll over him. God he had missed this. He just watched his business partner in action, completely unaware of the soft, indulgent look on his own face. It didn't go unnoticed by several others in the room, though. Karin had to bite her cheek from laughing outright. She had never even imagined that their stoic, acidic CEO could create such an expression. She sighed a little to herself. Why were the hot ones always gay?
Reluctantly, Sasuke went back to his own office, leaving Naruto to work with the marketing team. He looked at the clock. Only two hours to lunch. He'd be able to talk to Naruto then, and have at least a little bit of privacy.
. . . . . .
A tap on his door brought Sasuke out of the financial spreadsheet he had been going through. He looked up as Naruto poked his head in.
"Hey."
"Hey," Sasuke replied. "Lunch time?"
"Yeah. Do you want to go to the café around the corner, or have you found a better place?"
"That café closed a year ago. But there's a new place one block over that is good."
Naruto sighed at the small reminder of how much time had passed. He nodded as Sasuke grabbed his phone and they headed out, both feeling the curious glances that were shot their way by their employees. As the entered the elevator, they could hear the buzzing of speculations pick up. In other circumstances, the pair might have been amused (or in Sasuke's case, annoyed), but there was so much uncertainty between the two of them right now that they simply chose to ignore outside speculation for the moment. They had internal speculation of their own to figure out.
The walked the short distance to the restaurant in silence, each lost in their own thoughts of what to say in this lunch. Sasuke had cancelled his appointments after lunch until late in the afternoon, not wanting to feel rushed in this discussion. He knew he'd take flack from Itachi later, but he also knew that his brother would be more annoyed if he put business ahead of something like this. That had been one of their father's main failings... a slave to his work and his fortune. Neither son had admired that about their sire.
The café was nice... with seating set up for conversation and a little privacy rather than the typical open booth seating at many of the other establishments. They sat in a corner table, plants shielding them from the other patrons. They looked through the menu, then ordered.
"So what have you been working on since you've been back?" Sasuke asked, already knowing some of it but curious to hear about the rest.
"Well, I've sold a few paintings, and done a few guest lectures at the University for their Fine Arts department. But most of my salary work has come from work as an artistic director for music videos. I guess angst is in, and Yahiko had sent photos of my work around before I even got here." Naruto hadn't wanted to bring up Yahiko, but there really wasn't any way to avoid him on this topic. As expected, Sasuke's eyes flashed with annoyance at the mention of the man's name.
"How did you meet him?" Sasuke asked, deciding he might as well find all this out now and get it over with.
Naruto shifted uncomfortably. It didn't seem like a good idea to discuss his current lover with his ex/current husband. He certainly had no desire for Sasuke to talk about his lovers. At least, not now. "Um... Jiraya had been teaching creative writing at the university that Yahiko was studying at. Yahiko was a Fine Arts major, but he took a few writing classes as part of his electives, and they hit it off."
Of course they did, Sasuke thought, forcing his teeth not to grate together. Leave it to that pervert of a godfather to bring a bad influence into Naruto's life. Sasuke didn't care if he sounded jealous. He was.
"So when he was visiting me in Andalusia, I guess he took some pictures of my paintings and sent them to Yahiko. Who liked them, I guess, and it all kind of spiraled from there."
Their food arrived. Naruto snickered at the salad that Sasuke was eating. "Some things never change."
Sasuke looked at the sandwich that Naruto had ordered. Still no sign of ramen in the blond's life. "You seem to have changed... at least your lunch did."
Sasuke had meant it as an innocent comment, and was surprised at the flash of sadness that he saw on Naruto's face at his words. He didn't know what to make of it, but he filed it away to think about later. He didn't want to bring up painful subjects right now.
"How did your conversations go with Kiba and the marketing group today?"
Naruto swallowed the bite of his sandwich gratefully. This was a good, safe topic. He thought. "Well, I talked to Kiba about the current posting for the head of business development and the COO positions. I tweaked the profiles a bit, given that you hadn't been able to find anyone who would stick in the role for very long. He also talked to me about the current people in the marketing and creative groups, and their profiles and backgrounds. Looks like you have some real talent there, though looking through some of the recent campaigns I am guessing they haven't been here very long." Naruto looked up at Sasuke.
"I see," Sasuke said, his tone inflectionless. Which Naruto knew well enough to know meant that if he were someone other than an Uchiha, he would be shouting.
"What?" Naruto asked, honestly confused about what he had said that upset the man right off the bat.
"So you want Kiba to continue the search for the COO and business development positions. You're not staying."
Fuck. Naruto hadn't realized the trap he had already put his foot in. That actually wasn't what he meant... he just wasn't sure one way or the other because he had no idea how things were going to play out between them. Sasuke and he were just too volatile to be able to work together if their relationship ended up not being salvageable. For their sake as well as the sake of the people who worked with them, they had to be sure they could at least be friends before Naruto officially came back permanently to the company. He took a breath, trying to find the words to express this that wouldn't come across as an ultimatum or a threat. "Sasuke..."
Just then an arm went around Sasuke's shoulders. A blond woman with a silk blouse unbuttoned a few buttons past respectable leaned over his shoulder. "Long time no see, sexy. You left before I could give you my number."
Sasuke felt his stomach sink as he saw Naruto's face freeze over. Of all the fucking times for me to run into someone...
Sasuke pulled the woman's arm off him. "If I had wanted your number, or your name, I would have asked for it."
The woman's eyes narrowed. "Well you don't need to be such an ass. You seemed enthusiastic enough at the time." She tossed her hair, straightening up and looking at Naruto consideringly. "There are other hot guys out there, you know."
Sasuke shrugged, not taking his eyes off Naruto. Who was looking at his watch. Fuck. "Fantastic. Then go find one of them. Somewhere else."
The woman turned and stalked off.
"Smooth, Sasuke."
Naruto looked really pissed. This was not how Sasuke had wanted this lunch to go. "Look, she decided to hit on me when I was falling down drunk and took me home without even knowing my name. She wasn't looking for true love. All she knew about me was what I looked like, and possibly that I had money."
"And were you so much better? What did you know about her? It takes two to tango. She didn't rape you. You were there drunk and available. It's what you wanted."
"I didn't say she raped me. And if she was sitting with someone and I walked up to her and was all over her, I'd expect her to send me packing as well."
"Not everyone is a robot like you are, Sasuke." Naruto put his napkin on the table and started to get up. Sasuke's arm shot out and grabbed his wrist.
"I'm not a robot. Just because I don't care about her doesn't mean I don't care about you."
Naruto twisted his wrist out of Sasuke's grip. "The things that we need to talk about aren't going to get discussed in a public restaurant. I'm not going to sit here and make idle chit-chat and ignore the fucking herd of elephants in the room."
"You're the one who said we should go to lunch."
"Yeah, but I didn't know that we'd be tripping over people you'd fucked on the way. You want to have lunch with me and Yahiko sometime?"
Sasuke bit back a growl. "I don't have a relationship with that girl... I never had a relationship with any of them."
"And that's supposed to make me feel better? That you let anyone crawl all over you?" Naruto realized he was shouting. He threw some money on the table to cover his portion of the meal. "I'm not talking with you about this here. You did her and all the others to piss me off. Mission accomplished." Naruto turned and started to stalk out, but the sound of Sasuke's voice stopped him.
"Naruto," Sasuke's voice was raw with emotion. As hurt and angry as Naruto felt, he still hated to hear the pain and desperation. He stopped, and turned around.
"Come over for dinner tonight. We can talk in private at my place," Sasuke said, his voice low.
"I can't. I was supposed to meet Yahiko yesterday, but..." Naruto paused, seeing the look on Sasuke's face. "I need to tell him what's going on."
"And what is going on, Naruto? What are you going to tell him?"
Naruto wasn't proud of the tiny urge he felt to imply that he was going to continue to sleep with Yahiko. But he had never been that kind of person. "I'm going to tell him that I am still technically married."
"And?"
"And he knows me well enough to know what that means."
Sasuke wanted to push Naruto to say more about that, wanted some kind of declaration that Naruto was going to end at least the romantic side of things with Yahiko. But didn't want to seem to be admitting that somehow Yahiko now knew Naruto better than Sasuke. "But you're still going to his place tonight."
Naruto shrugged. "It's kind of none of your business where I go to meet him, Sasuke." Naruto turned and walked out of the restaurant.
Sasuke stared down at the half-eaten food. He suddenly wished this place had a bar.
. . . .
Naruto had just gotten back from lunch and was pacing in his office. He was back much earlier than expected, so he had some time to kill before his meeting with Kiba and the new hires. He had noticed the looks when he had walked in alone, after people had seen him and Sasuke leaving for lunch together. Naruto had never been one for keeping his emotions from his face, so he guessed that people could tell he was upset. What were you expecting? He asked himself in annoyance. You knew this was going to happen. You knew he had been with a lot of other people, and he's not someone that people are likely to forget. Of course they will try to hook back up with him. Naruto felt a surge of jealousy and anger. And annoyance with himself for crashing headlong into it. It would be better if I hadn't started thinking about him as my husband again. No matter what the fucking paper says, we aren't in a marriage right now.
There was a tap at the door, and Naruto growled. "What?"
The door opened, and Gaara walked in. Naruto blinked in surprise. "My. Someone's cranky today," the soft, low voice of the redhead carried more than a hint of amusement.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Not in the mood Gaara. I thought you were Sasuke."
Gaara raised a hairless brow at the comment. Shikamaru had called Gaara last night letting him know that Sasuke had told Naruto they were still married. Fully expecting to face the bond's wrath at some point, Gaara had decided to just drop by and save Naruto the trip. He simply stood there, waiting for Naruto to have his say. It wasn't long in coming.
"So I hear I'm still married," Naruto said with a deceptively calm voice. "It's funny, because I am pretty sure that I remember signing the papers almost two months ago, and you telling me that you would take care of it."
Gaara looked at him, still no expression on his face.
"And then, thinking that I was no longer fucking married, I had SEX with someone NOT MY HUSBAND! Fucking hell, Gaara! You should have told me when it didn't go through. You know I would never have had sex with someone else if I knew I was still married."
Gaara sighed. "First of all, I had no idea that you were thinking of sleeping with anyone, and I also had no idea that you hadn't slept with anyone after you left Japan. It was pretty clear that Sasuke wasn't holding you to your vows anymore. It's not like you were sneaking out the back window to have an affair or something."
Naruto ran his hands through his hair. "But you still should have told me. Aren't you on my side? I trusted you with all this, and you know how I am with this kind of thing."
A look of hurt flashed across Gaara's usually stoic face. Yes, he did know how Naruto was. Naruto was the most honorable person Gaara had ever met. He hadn't even believed that someone like Naruto existed, someone who literally never went back on his word. He had not wanted to hurt his friend, or put him in moral conflict. He had simply agreed with Shikamaru that both Naruto and Sasuke had seemed unhappy since their split, and there seemed to be no real reason behind it. Getting them to reconsider ending a marriage would be different than having them actually get married again after a divorce was final. Reconciliation would be harder then. The filing of a legal form could neither make nor break a marriage in Gaara's mind. It was irrelevant to the reality of the relationship. But he should have known that Naruto would potentially see it differently.
"Naruto, I am always on your side. I gave the paper to Shikamaru, and he gave it to Sasuke. Sasuke knew that you had signed the form about the divorce. The fact that it wasn't processed by some government administrative office is irrelevant. It doesn't mean you cheated. And you know this," Gaara looked closely at Naruto's expression, and realized he was right. The blond wasn't looking as guilt ridden as he had first made himself out to be. Maybe he wasn't being as irrational as usual about this. Gaara could hope. "If you want, we can file the form ourselves. I have a signed copy of what we gave to Sasuke and Shikamaru. I can take it down and file it today, and the divorce will be official."
Gaara paused, watching his friend's expression. He didn't miss the flash of panic that crossed Naruto's face before it was replaced by confusion. "No," Naruto said slowly. He didn't know what he wanted. But he knew that he didn't want to file that paper.
Gaara simply raised an eyebrow.
"No, I... I guess I don't want to file either."
"So you're getting back together with him."
"No... Yes... I... have no fucking clue," Naruto blew out a breath. "I still love him. But I also still hate him. I know now why he did what he did. But I don't know that things can go back to the way they were before. I don't even think I want them to. But... I am not ready to walk away."
Gaara simply nodded. "Well, when you work that out, you let me know."
With that, Gaara turned and headed back to his office. He had a shitload of other work to do. Sasuke was just coming up when Gaara was heading out. Gaara looked at the bruise on Sasuke's jaw, but didn't comment. The two men simply nodded tersely to each other and continued walking in opposite directions.
-xXx-
When Sasuke got home, he was still annoyed. Naruto had calmed down, but was still closed off with him for the rest of the day. And he had found out that Naruto wouldn't be coming into the office at all the next day because he had some video shoot he had to work on. Fuck.
As Sasuke walked down the hall to the door to his apartment, he was surprised to see a woman walking toward him. Hinata? Her hair was neatly brushed, and her clothes immaculate, but somehow she still looked disheveled. Her cheeks held a soft blush, and her eyes were heavy lidded. He noticed that her mouth looked a bit swollen.
She simply nodded to him and kept walking. Trying to make sense of that, Sasuke unlocked the door and went in.
"Itachi? You home?" He didn't hear an answer, so he went and knocked on the door to Itachi's room. There was no answer, but Sasuke could hear the muffled sound of the shower running. He was about to turn away when he heard a faint sound. Itachi was... humming?
His mind refused to connect the dots laying before him. Itachi and Hinata? No fucking way.
-xXx-
to be continued
So... what do you think? Please review! It keeps me motivated.
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The Thin Line Between Love and Hate - COMPLETE