Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

What Do You See?	By : Snowway32 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2093 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters there in. No money is made from this

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
This chapter took a lot to finnish but I'm glad it's done now. Another warning; this story will be Jiraiya/ Naruto and I'm thinking of doinf Kakashi/Naruto and much later on Jiraiya/Naruto/Kakashi so if you do not like then please don't bother to read and leave reviews becuase they will just be deleted.
Little information: Please read
'Thinking'
"Talking"
'Minato talking to Naruto'
Inscriptions on gravestones
Please review and leave a rating I really appreciate them.
Tissues everybody; the angst only gets worse from here on out.
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Naruto's head was splitting in two; pain lancing down his spine as he crashed onto the hard, unforgiving ground. He tasted blood in his mouth and couldn't stop the bile that rose in his throat; he felt sick and helpless. Out of the corner of his eye he could see blood trickle from a gash on his forehead; his mind was spinning and he was tired. So tired, he just wanted to close his eye and never wake up again. A few metres away from him he could see his opponent staring at him with wide sea foam coloured eyes; waiting for something to happen but nothing did. Naruto gave a small smile; his words had finally gotten through to his opponent but how much of those words did he believe himself? He still felt the ugly bile in his throat; the taste of loneliness and fear of death but worst of all the doubt that bubbled to the surface.

'I've found people who finally acknowledge me through hard work. I know what it feels like to be utterly alone.' The emotions never fade; they only increase over time and yet one must find a way to overcome them. Was his unspoken words; yet Naruto knew he needed to try and give a glimmer of hope to this desperate teen before him and those words may just work. In a sense he was trying to reassure himself by those words as well.

Blue eyes dulled as they watched Gaara's siblings pick him up and disappear. The fight left Naruto raw and hurting inside; his mind was shutting down slowly. Left him alone again to fend for himself; no sign of Sasuke or Sakura not even the faint glimmer of Pakkun's presence to reassure him that he was not alone. He could hardly remember a single detail from the clash between him and the suna-shinobi. He felt a faint glimmer of hope as Gamabunta's presence crept closer towards him. Desperately he tried to lift himself with his arms but they failed him spectacularly. Before he could fall into the dirt again he felt a slick tongue surround him; his stomach lurching dangerously as he shuddered at the sudden loss of solid ground beneath him. He was carefully deposited on the large toad's back. He felt Bunta's soft hiaori beneath his heated skin and allowed the scent of moss and tobacco to bring him some semblance of comfort. It almost reminded him of Jiraiya's scent...

"Yo; kid. You okay?" The deep voice rumbled as the large toad began walking towards Jiraiya's presence that was slowly approaching. He had watched amazed as this child took on the Ichibi with nothing more than his own power and great determination. Even then he wasn't stupid enough to believe Naruto hadn't suffered whilst confronting the psychological aspect of this fight. It was damaging in so many ways and Naruto had pushed against his limits in order to protect those close to him and didn't receive a thank you in return; it made him angry as he could see the deep pain that settled around the Namikaze heir's heart.

"Oi! Naruto" Gamabunta yelled as he felt the child's heart beat stutter and his breath turning shallow. He didn't know what Naruto did but he felt the teen's body shutting down and fast as well. He needed to get him to safety so with the last ounces of his power he leapt towards a clearing; training ground seven if he remembered correctly. Very carefully he placed Naruto on the grass; he sent out the last ounce of his chakra in hopes of gaining Jiraiya's or anyone's attention before he could no longer hold his place in Konoha. Smoke surrounded the area in a thick cloud as Gamabunta was forced to return to the toad village and recover from his own injuries.

~

'Naruto?' Jiraiya frowned as he detected a large burst of chakra. He was having his hands full with Orochimaru's summons; he'd forgotten how dangerous they could be. He felt his summons shift beneath his feet as he repositioned himself; twin swords drawn as he intimated his snake opponent. His summons was just about to go for the kill when he felt the technique release; leaving only him and his summons. It could only mean one thing; Orochimaru had been defeated or could no longer hold up his summoning technique.

He frowned when he felt another flare of chakra and turned just in time to see a tiny dog summons jump next to his feet. He recognized it at as one of Kakashi's so for a split second he surveyed the area and made sure that it was safe to give his attention to the small pug.

"What is it?" He asked impatiently; his heart already stuttering with the implications that this little dog's presence could mean.

"Naruto is facing off against Sabaku no Gaara." Pakkun said. Jiraiya stiffened; he knew that name. Knew what it meant and he also knew that Naruto was in trouble.

"Where?" Was all he asked.

"Follow me." Jiraiya didn't hesitate for a second as he raced after the small pug; leaving his own summons to watch over the area. There was an uneasy dread settling over his stomach as he tried to calculate the outcome of Naruto's fight. With his current strength it was possible but Naruto had also been injured during the Chuunin exam; lessening his chances of finding himself in an equally matched fight. He was on the opposite end of Konoha and it would take him at least fifteen minutes before he would reach the area where he could feel the violent clash of two large chakra's; one tinged with darkness and hatred and the other with light and love. It was a mixture of Naruto and Minato...

"Jiraiya-sama." The little pug said as they came to rest in a tree. The atmosphere was heavy with powerful chakras and the unmistakable feel of Gamabunta; they were still ten minutes away and Jiraiya nodded towards Pakkun. They moved twice as fast as they were previously. Jiraiya felt his lungs burn with exertion as his muscles worked overtime to keep the same pace but it was his fear that Naruto was in terrible danger that spurned him forward and gave him the strength to not stop and pant for the breath that he desperately needed.

The wind rushed in his ears and the sudden feel of the humidity around him spelled the coming of rain. Jiraiya felt Bunta's spike in chakra before his presence disappeared completely. Without stopping he altered his course slightly to where he felt Gamabunta's presence. If the large summon's was sending out chakra flares then it meant the fight had ended and help was needed. With a deep breath and dread curling in his stomach; Jiraiya left the canopy of trees and landed straight in the middle of training ground seven. Black eyes searching for any form of danger but instead they fell on a still form on the green grass of the training ground. His heart jumped in his throat as he recognized signature blonde hair and the white and red cloak of Minato.

"Shit!" He cursed as he ran forward; the sight of blood spurning him on the move faster. Naruto looked peaceful but Jiraiya knew that looks could be deceiving. With careful hands he summoned up healing chakra as he laid it over Naruto's heart; just as Tsunade had taught him. The damage to Naruto's body wasn't as bad as he expected and he gave a sigh of relief. He had to remember to thank Kyuubi for small miracles as he knew the slow trickle of blood from Naruto's mouth would have been fatal if the large demon fox had not healed it; some of Kyuubi's chakra still tingled against his own.

"Naruto?! Can you hear me?" Jiraiya asked as his chakra finally faded; sweat was beading beneath his hitai-ate and the sun beat down on his back. He felt Naruto stir beneath him; black eyes observed as Naruto's brows furrowed as Naruto instinctively tried to curl into himself.

"Naruto! Open your eyes!" Jiraiya yelled as he placed strong hands on Naruto's chest to stop him from moving too much. Dazed blue eyes were slowly revealed; they were open but not seeing anything so Jiraiya lent forward so that he was in the teen's line of sight. Blue eyes blinked tiredly and brows furrowed before a flash of recognition passed through pain filled eyes.

"E-Ero-Sennin?" Naruto croaked; he tried to rise but was held in place by Jiraiya's hands on his chest. It wasn't helping that his mind was splitting in two and the sudden dizziness that came with that small movement made give a pained moan. He tried to shift; to grab onto his head and make the pain go away and try to keep it steady

"Lie still Naruto. You are exhausted and chakra depleted." Jiraiya chastised as he observed sorrow filled eyes stare into his and burn with an intensity that were like two bright blue suns instead of eyes. He was captivated by that stare until they disappeared beneath eye lids again. Glazed with pain and something else he couldn't discern.

"Naruto don't close your eyes! You have a severe concussion; I need you to stay awake." Jiraiya called frantically as he felt Naruto's breathing even out beneath his fingers. He knew the danger of having a concussion and Naruto showed signs of a severe concussion. Those glazed blue eyes and slurred words were only solidifying his concern. Blue eyes blinked open again and stared at him tiredly; a knowledge hidden in those eyes that were way beyond Naruto's years.

"'m s'rry. S t'red." Naruto slurred softly; black was creeping into the edge of his vision and he had trouble focusing on Jiraiya all he saw was a blur of red, white and green. He felt uncomfortable and wanted to move but the feeling of bile rising in his throat stopped that idea short. Unconsciously he turned his head to the side and felt pain completely black out his vision. A ragged gasp escaped his lips as pain shot through his spine to the base of his skull. He berated himself for moving but he stopped short as he tasted blood in his mouth as another wave of nausea hit him. His memory was muddled and only bits and pieces flickered behind his closed eyes.

"Naruto!" Jiraiya yelled in concern; Naruto had moved and from the looks of the small movement it had caused him great pain. When he saw those blue clench shut he knew he was in trouble. Naruto seemed to have lost his battle with himself as he slumped against the grass. His body had just shut down because of the exhaustion.

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Naruto stared at the blue sky visible through his window; the sun was high in the sky and bathed Konoha with a new hope but Naruto knew better. He could feel the emotions of the past few days swirl in his stomach; making him nauseas and light headed. The Sandiame had died in his fight with Orochimaru and so had many other good shinobi on that day; he shuddered as he remembered waking up in the hospital four days ago only to be in time for the memorial service. It had rained that day; like a testament of the sorrow of the gods.

"I better get going." He said to himself as he shifted the warm covers from his body; his movements were unhurried but also held a tinge of sadness and sorrow that refused to fade since his clash with Gaara. He didn't hate the boy for what he did; no Naruto only felt a deep seated sadness that he could not have helped sooner. Regardless of his own mental and emotional instability he would always look to other people in order to help them first. He would always come second in his own mind. He reached out for his weapons pouch as he pulled at his favourite kunai; he had sharpened it the night before just for this.

He felt anticipation curl in his stomach; it had been too long since he could properly feel the sting of this kunai and he had time now. His meeting with Kakashi not until twelve and then the jounin would most likely be late as well. A flash of white before his eyes made a pang of guilt and pain settle in his mind; Jiraiya had left. That had torn him apart and was also the reason why he was slowly loosing himself to the pain and sorrow that surrounded him in a constant wave of guilt and pain. He shook his head, a bitter smile creeping up his lips. He should have known this would happen; it almost always did.

'Hey dad! You awake yet?' Naruto yelled in his mind; at least Minato's constant presence in his mind helped him push back some of his pain. He chuckled lightly to himself as he heard his father's indigent shout and tired grumbling.

'I was having such a nice dream Naruto! Why'd you wake me?!' The older Namikaze whined; just like his son he was everything but a morning person.

'I thought I'd just tell you that I'll be meeting with Kakashi-sensei today; if you want to watch just let me know and I'll let you take over for a while.' Naruto stated softly; another thing he had learned over the past few days was that he and his father's souls were so merged together that they could sometimes swap places and Minato could take over his body for a little while. Like how the night before the elder Namikaze had huffed as Naruto attempted to cook and took over; when Naruto had come to from his nice dream like state there was a table full of good food and even desert.

'Hn; I'll see about that. But first let me sleep some more; I'm tired. Your mind is in shambles again Naruto and I know what you're thinking. Just be careful.' Naruto froze his steps just outside the bathroom door as he stared at the glinting kunai in his hand; yes his father had known. He sighed as he stopped communication between the elder Namikaze; there was no need to interrupt the older man's rest with his pained sobs he knew was coming.

~

The water was hot against his suddenly cold skin; the moment the first droplets made contact with his body he felt a small amount of relief wash through him. For a single moment in time his pain, fear and sorrow faded to the background before curling in his stomach again. He sighed as he tilted his head towards the spray of water; his hair immediately stuck to his forehead as water rivulets ran over his closed eyes. He shifted against as he moved forward; allowing for the spray to assault his shoulders and back. Their stiffness fading under the warm and soothing droplets. He allowed his mind to wonder as half lidded blue eyes stared at the kunai laying on the floor of the shower. The water droplets clinging to the surface before sliding off again; it in itself was beautiful. Deadly and beautiful.

Dazed eyes; now glazed with pained emotions observed as a tan hand curled around the handle almost detachedly. Naruto forced himself to slow his breathing and heart rate; it wasn't good to get excited. It could mean a mistake and a mistake like this could very well cost him a lot of blood loss or even death if Kyuubi deemed it an unworthy wound to heal. Smiling softly to himself he brought the sharpened edge to his lips in a soft caress; a pink tongue peeking out as it ran up the razor sharp edge of the blade. He tasted blood and nearly moaned in delight; it tasted different than all the other times when he got injured. No this time it tasted of electrical satisfaction and strict self control.

'Ichi' He counted; blade glinting in the sun that streamed through the small window of the bathroom. Catching sight of several droplets of blood. It was a beautiful deep red...

'Ni, san, shi, go, roku, nana, hachi.' Each number corresponding to the cuts that appeared on his wrists; blood blossoming to the surface and snaking down his arm in large red droplets. He stared at them transfixed, pupils slightly dilated as he followed the droplets as they dripped onto the shower floor only to mix with water and disappear in a red mist down the drain. Steeling his resolved he ran his tongue up the blade to collect the blood before moving again.

'Ku, ju.' He stopped; his breath coming in pants as the pain finally caught up to his senses. He hissed as the water stung at the newly open wounds; putting his kunai away from his sight he finished his shower. Desperate to feel the guilt bubbling in his stomach to stop but it didn't. It only seemed to get worse; Naruto didn't even realize his pained breaths had turned into sorrow filled sobs as the psychological events of the past few days finally caught up to him. He was damaged and didn't know if he could be saved again; his saving grace had disappeared without a trace and without a good bye and left him curling in pain as his loneliness and fear started eating at him from the inside.

"I'm sorry." He whispered brokenly as he slid down the shower wall; the water had long since gone cold but Naruto didn't mind; it took time to sort through his scattered mind. It wasn't until he began shivering heavily and he felt oddly sick under the shower spray that he shifted. Grabbing a fluffy towel he dried off and headed for his room and dressed; frowning when every now and then he could feel a shiver racing up his spine. He bit at his lip; he had missed the slight blue tint that they had.

A quick glance at the clock told him he had an hour to get to the bridge before Kakashi's appointed time so he quickly dressed his wound in a white bandage and pulled a long sleeved turtleneck over his head and made sure to cover the bandages from sight. As he stepped into his foyer he grabbed the white and red cloak of his father and slipped it on; it was clean of the blood and grime of the chuunin exam. The material rustled in the wind as he made his way towards the graveyard.

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Fingers glided over the granite slab; tracing the name before a small smile flitted across his lips. Uzumaki Kushina; whilst his eyes turned towards the other. Namikaze Minato.

"I'll see you guys again soon." He whispered wistfully towards the soft wind that caressed him as he took to the trees and headed for the meeting spot with his team. It was going to be their first meeting since the chuunin exams and he was looking forward to seeing Sasuke and Sakura again. His feet made no sound as he landed on the bridge; two pairs of eyes looked at him before one yelled.

"You're late!" Naruto frowned and looked at the sky; it must have been just passed noon. So he merely shrugged as he gave an apologetic smile towards his pink haired teammate.

"Were have you been dobe." Naruto turned towards Sasuke and frowned when he saw a darkness in those eyes he hadn't seen before. He sighed as he leaned on the railing of the bridge; crossing his arms across his chest as he rested his head against a red pole.

"Nowhere that would interest you." Naruto said softly; his one hand unconsciously rubbing at his left wrist. He heard the customary 'Hn.' from Sasuke and gave a slight smirk to the other boy. He shivered lightly as the wind picked up and a bout of hatred was directed at him. He shifted on his feet and jumped aside; several kunai embedded in the place where he had been lounging about. He didn't so much as blink as four senbon found themselves into his hand.

"I can feel your hatred; come out." Naruto said softly; not noticing the surprised stares that followed him. He wasn't surprised when four higher ranking shinobi came out of hiding; weapons drawn and ready for battle. He was so engrossed in trying to discern the motive of the shinobi before him that he didn't notice Kakashi's presence arrive mere milliseconds before.

"You are here because you hate me and the fact that I am my father's legacy." Naruto said calmly; he wasn't guessing. He knew. The four shinobi shifted on their feet before they started moving. He didn't recognize the markings on their hitai-ate. Naruto didn't even blink as he flicked his wrist; four senbon found their targets almost immediately. Naruto cursed; his aim was off. His hand disappeared into his weapons pouch as he pulled out eight kunai but before he could launch them another volley of weapons found themselves buried in their targets.

Stunned blue eyes turned around to stare at a lazy Kakashi; a kunai spinning on his middle finger as his other hand still held onto his precious Icha Icha Paradise. Naruto couldn't help it; laughter bubbled in his throat and he could do nothing to stop it. It looked so out of character for the copy ninja and that exposed eye was curled in the customary closed eye smile.

"Mah, mah Naruto. We're going to have to work on your aim again especially since you have just been made Chuunin." Kakashi's voice lilted through the breeze and Naruto froze and shook his head; had he just heard right?

"I'm sorry Kakashi-sensei; I think I heard you wrong. Did you just say a chuunin?" Naruto frowned; the words hadn't sunk in yet. An odd fluttering invaded his stomach; it was both anticipation and dread.

"Hai; Naruto. I did." Naruto did a double take and stared at Kakashi to see if the man had been laying to him; the only thing he found shimmering in that one eye was pride and absolute truth.

"Oh." Was all Naruto could say; he really hadn't expected that. Just who had authorized it? Since Sandiame was dead and a new Hokage had yet to be sworn in. He turned inquisitive eyes towards Kakashi-sensei.

"Ano; Kakashi-sensei. Who authorized this?" Naruto asked softly; it wasn't that he wasn't happy it was just that it felt a little sudden.

"It was a joint decision of the Konoha clan heads." Naruto gave a nod and for the first time allowed a smile to flit across his lips.

"Who else?" Sasuke's voice suddenly snapped Naruto back to reality. He stared at his teammate and frowned at the sudden dark aura he felt coming from him. He could literally feel the hate coming off of the Uchiha in waves and shuddered; it was cold against his skin.

Kakashi; sensing his student's hatred sighed deeply. Sasuke was not going to be happy about this. He made a small noise in the back of his throat as he turned his attention to the dark haired teen.

"It was only Naruto and Shikamaru that were chosen." That glare darkened on him and Kakashi flinched.

"Don't be like that Sasuke; they couldn't elect you since you never finished your fight as the attack started in the middle of it." Kakashi placated as he held up his hands in defence. He ignored Sasuke's dark mood as he stepped towards Naruto; fingers burying in blond hair as he smile affectionately.

"I'm proud of you Naruto." He said softly as he handed over a green flak jacket to the Kyuubi container. The glimmer of happiness he sae there was all the reward he could have asked for. However; the sorrowful and subdued aura around Naruto worried him. He had expected Naruto to be bouncing off the walls but he shook his head; Naruto had changed so much in the last few days and he didn't know what had caused it. If he had to pinpoint a day he would say it had been the day Jiraiya had taken Naruto to the graveyard.

"Well done Naruto!" Sakura's voice broke through the reverie and Kakashi smiled even as he heard Sasuke's begrudging 'Well done, dobe.' He just hoped that this wouldn't drive a rift between the already strained relationship of his team. He was infinitely grateful towards Sakura as she had possibly just saved the entire group from a depressing time. He watched as Naruto's eyes danced at his friends' praise; he was proud. Naruto deserved it; for once he really did.

"So; now that that's done. How about we celebrate?" Kakashi asked. Noting the smiles he received and Naruto's pleading voice for Ramen; he really wished that things would never change but he had a feeling they were going to be changing and it wasn't going to be good.

~

Naruto felt a flicker of happiness flit through him and he smile genuinely for the first time since his fight with Gaara. The feeling of his new flak jacket was welcoming and slightly nostalgic. He really wished that Jiraiya could have been here but dismissed that thought. He didn't want to feel depressed after hearing the news; he wanted to see Iruka-sensei as well. The first person to ever except him for who he was not what he contained.

"Kakashi-sensei? What's the time?" Naruto asked pleadingly. Kakashi's baffled expression was amusing and he had to hide his smirk.

"Hmm; I'd say about 2:30." Naruto nodded as he turned away from his teammates and started down a different path.

"Oi! Naruto where are you going? We're going to celebrate remember?" He turned around a gave a smile.

"I'm going to get Iruka-sensei! Why don't we meet you at Ichiraku's?" Naruto said as he sped off. A few indigent cried following him but right now his heart was fluttering and soaring in his chest; he felt happy for once. He skidded to a halt in front of the Academy building; white cloak fluttering behind him as he sped down the familiar hallways. Coming to stop in front of a classroom door he gave a soft knock; rocking on the balls of his feet with excitement.

"Come in." The gentle voice startled Naruto from his thoughts and he slowly opened the door; the classroom was empty save for the man sitting behind the desk. He watched as chocolate brown eyes trained on him and widened in surprise before a large smile played over full lips.

"Naruto!" Iruka cried happily as he stood up. He didn't have to wait long until he felt a body collide against his as he was squeezed in a fierce embrace. He laughed at Naruto's antics as he smoothed blonde hair.

"What're you doing here?" He asked after a short while. Blue eyes sparkled up at him.

"Do you want to go for ramen Iruka-sensei?" Iruka frowned.

"It's to celebrate me becoming a chuunin." Those words caused a big smile to split his face as he laughed happily.

"Of course; I'm just not paying." He teased as the blonde dragged him behind him and headed for the ramen shop.

"Nope; I think Kakashi's paying." Naruto said deviously; a fox like grin on his features. Iruka knew that look and almost felt sorry for Kakashi-san; almost but not quite. He still had a bone to pick with the infamous copy ninja.

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*hands out free chocolate cookies* Thanks for sticking with me and reading the story; even though it's still a long way from being finished.
SSP
Ja Na!
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