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Deidara Grounded	By : seraserastuff Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1956 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, this is a fan-made story, no profit made

Chapter List
- 1-Grounded
- 2-Confusion
- 3-hurt
- 4-Turn
- 5-Death
- 6-Restored
- 7-Memory
- 8-Truth
- 9-Time
- 10-Desire
- 5
- 6
- 7
Wrote most of chapter 6 before I wrote chapter 5, so anyway you get a double-chapter-bill. Woo.
Chapter 6
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Reaching a clearing, Hidan stopped. Stooping only a little, he dropped Deidara from four feet up, letting him fall hard on his backside. Argh!
"...and so that's why you need to convert to Jashinism, Dei-chan!" He finally pulled the gag from Deidara's face, throwing it aside. Why hadn't he done that earlier? Because he was a bastard, that's why.
Deidara was pissed. He should be glad at being rescued, at escaping death once more. He didn't care about Hidan's readiness to kill him; it had been nothing shocking in the slightest. But he was pissed as hell at his rough handling, and listening to him rave about his idiotic Jashin cult crap for the entire last hour!
"Hidan, you twat, stop that, un!" Spat Deidara venomously as Hidan grinned and ruffled his hair roughly, messily. Hidan was enjoying the fact Deidara was tied up, enjoying tormenting him... "Just cut my ties already, un! Stop fucking around..."
"Yeah, yeah, fine." Hidan grabbed the back of his shirt, dragging Deidara backwards across the ground until his back thumped into the base of a tree. Hidan unstrapped his scythe.
"You're not going to use that are you!"
Hidan look genuinely surprised, "Of course! what else?"
Urggh, he remembered now that Hidan didn't carry a kunai on him, he used the scythe for fucking everything; did he even shave with that thing too? Deidara wouldn't be surprised. Then again, Deidara was a guy loved to poke clay into locks and explode them even when he had the keys, so who was he to criticise Hidan for being impractical... maybe Akatsuki really were all freaks...
"Stay still or I'll cut you,"
Hidan clamped one foot down on the ties between Deidara's feet. Lifting the scythe up underneath, he cut upwards, slicing through the ropes; and also messily ripping the material at the base of Deidara's trousers somewhat. Then Hidan moved to the ties at Deidara's knees, needing to saw at them a bit...
"Careful you stupid bastard! UN!" shrieked Deidara, that huge pronged sythe thing was wavering dangerously close to a VERY sensitive area, and he didn't trust Hidan in the fucking slightest!
"Trust me." smiled Hidan carelessly.
"TRUST YOU! are you crazy, un?!" As far as Deidara was concerned, 'Hidan' and 'trust' were not even words that should co-exist together...Hidan was now idly scratching the back of his neck and yawning, holding the sythe with one hand and not even looking at what he was doing...!
Deidara actually screamed.
"Don't be such a pussy, there it's done!"
Deidara's leg's were free, but it felt like he was having a heart-attack, it had been so close, so close.
"Your face just now! That was fucking priceless!"
Deidara attempted to kick him in the shin, but his legs weren't working so great after being bound for, how many days? So he ended up just unsuccessfully poking at the air with his foot. Hidan was laughing at him so much now that he had to lean on the tree for support.
"Dei, Deidara-chan, I'd forgotten how much fun you were, so easy to scare." Hidan was still shaking a bit with laughter. He wiped his eyes and looked down at him. "Anyway, Sasori's really really dead then? How'd it happen, that boring bastard have an interesting death at least?"
"I didn't see. It was those Konoha shits, un." Deidara didn't just feel like telling Hidan any details, that it had been an old lady and a little girl that defeated Sasori. Hidan would just be annoying about it, he'd never been close to Sasori like Deidara.
It seemed Hidan could tell that was all the information he'd be getting on Sasori and, accordingly, changed the subject...to something much worse.
"So, the Leader told us you spent some time in the Sand Village huh? Haha, what, has every country had you now, just passed you 'round? Took turns?" Don't go there.
"Hidan! I'll fucking kill you, un, I will!"
"Nasty place those Sand dungeons, I hear; I bet it was fucking awesome! Did you get to see much torture? What sort of equipment did they have?" Hidan was eager to hear, he was such a freak - Deidara knew that he got off on that kind of thing, they all knew he did...
"I don't know, dungeon stuff probably! Unlike you I don't have a fetish for shit like that, un."
"Didn't rape you, did they, a pretty guy like you?"
Deidara froze. Then immeadiately after, he realised Hidan had meant it as a joke. Hidan didn't really think that, he just said all the things he knew would piss off Deidara the most...
But, Deidara should have continued shouting at him. Instead of freezing just now.
At his hesitation, a look of disbelief crept onto Hidan's face, "Woah...they didn't, did they?" He grinned, "Seriously?"
"Of course they fucking didn't!" he snapped, face aflame. Oh shit.
"They did! I can tell!" Hidan looked joyous. "Shit Deidara, that's too funny, so did you get any flowers afterwards?"
Deidara jolted as Kakuzu landed with a thud beside them, jumped down from a tree. He Straigtened his coat, looking incredibly bored. There was blood all over him...
"Kakuzu, what happened un?" asked Deidara. Gai, Lee...
"I left them." He sounded bored too. "They were taking a tediously long time to kill. Time I can't afford to spend."
"What about the other guys, the ones before them?" Deidara pressed. Knowing who was alive mattered because he wanted to be the one to kill them, yeah. "You said you took care of them, un?"
"The first guys? I wounded one of them, and in the end they just retreated."
"Which one?"
"One of the boys."
"Why do you care which one, Dei-chan?"
"I don't, un!" snapped Deidara. So that would be either Naruto or Neji...
"He got attached I bet, you're such a pussy Deidara-chan, even though they slapped you around...hey Kakuzu! Guess what happened to Deidara at the Sand Village--!"
"NOTHING HAPPENED AT THE SAND VILLAGE UN, I'M GONNA---"
"Shut up, both of you. I'm in a very bad mood."
Knowing Kakuzu's reputation, Deidara was silent. He had a lot to think about anyway -so, had all the Leaf bastards lived? That was good. It actually felt like a great weight had been lifted from him for some reason. It was because didn't want those bastards to die before he could show them his stuff. They hadn't even seen half of what he was capable of, had only seen the weak him, he'd show them what he was really like, he had to...
Kakuzu stalked toward Deidara, shoving Hidan out of his way. "I need room to work." He summoned a long scroll in his hands; Deidara's heart leapt. The symbols on it were those of a preservation scroll!
"I'll stitch your arms back on now. I want to get this done quickly, we have other things to do."
Kakuzu pulled off Deidara's shirt over his head, and cut away the bandages Sakura had carefully changed just a few hours ago (Kakuzu used a kunai, at least.)
Hidan, watching, guffawed at the sight of Deidara's uncovered wounds. "Shiiiiiit Dei, even I've never been that much of a mess, fuck!" Even Hidan was disgusted? Deidara looked down at them, seeing them properly uncovered for the first time; you could even see where the bone poked ou--uugh, Deidara quickly looked away again, staring ahead. Whatever, not for much longer now. He'd be bearable again...
Kakuzu unwrapped the scroll; His arms were there! The sight of them filled him with hope but also a strange chill; they looked strangely eerie, lying there like that. Cold. Lifeless. Would this even work?
"This'll hurt, but shut up." Kakuzu pulled back his sleeve, and his threads came out. Deidara had heard of him doing this but had never seen this technique in action...
He was quiet as Kakuzu did his weird thread...thing, and stitched his left arm back on; but couldn't help but make the occasional grimace or hiss. It hurt about as much as you would expect from someone stitching into your skin, and it felt strange as the nerves reattached, kind of knitted back together. A bizarre sensation. Deidara was careful not to speak as Kakuzu sewed, everyone knew he hated to be disturbed at work - and had murdered many of his previous partners because of it. Deidara had never disrespected Kakuzu. It was rare for him to be around either Hidan or Kakuzu in person, at all.
"I should charge for this," growled Kakuzu as he finished Deidara's left arm. Concentrating hard, Deidara experimentally flexed his fingers; they responded! Yeah! This was more like it! Despite the sharp pains, Deidara couldn't stop smiling widely to himself now, couldn't contain just how happy he was. It worked, it worked...! He felt a slight wetness in his eyes. What the hell?
Deidara blinked it away quickly. Whatever that was...
"Eww, not gonna cry are you? You're such a--"
"When I said to shut up, I meant you as well." snapped Kakuzu. Then he suddenly seemed to feel like commenting to Deidara, "I had to sew his head back on once - he whined and cried like a bitch the whole time, and that was just having his hair pulled."
Hidan was speechless for a moment, "FUUUUUUUUCK YOU KAKUZU~!" Hidan shrieked, high pitched; his voice even broke on the 'FUUUUCK', he sounded like a girl!
Deidara completely doubled over with laughter, shit, shit... until he felt the Kakuzu's thread pierce into his right arm this time.
"Now the right one. Your right elbow wasn't recovered, so I'll use this as a replacement." Kakuzu was sewing again, an alien piece of limb was to connect his two arm parts.
"What's that from, un?" It had a weird tone and texture to it. What was it from? something human, inhuman? and which would be weirder to have...
"Don't ask idiotic questions. It doesn't matter where it's from. It'll work, so just accept it."
So he wasn't gonna tell, ominous bastard. Kakuzu was creepy as hell.
"Your body is a normal body, not an immortal body like Hidan's. So it will take time for the wounds to completely heal, but the feeling will be back now. It would take a few days for them to function completely normally again."
"But I can use jutsu's again now, un?"
"Yes."
The flesh of his arms had felt cold as death, freezing even. But now the warmth and colour was flowing back into them. Deidara turned his hands over and with the tongues in them, licked at the dry lips. It felt so good to have them back! He felt complete again, he could use his art again, do the simplest thing without help again...He itched a scratch on the back of his head, ah...
Deidara had an almost overwhelming urge to do what he'd wanted to do for days; to wrap his arms around himself, feel safe...but not in front of these two, not in front of anyone.
Later, he'd just do it later. He could do anything he wanted now, finally. Thanks to them...
"Thanks, un. I really mean it."
Kakuzu, still withdrawing his weird thread stuff, stared at him.
Hidan was having a field day. "What the fuck! Next you'll be showing mercy, arranging flowers..!" Hidan turned to Kakuzu, "Kaku-chaaan, was that really Dei we took back there or a little blonde girl? Oh no wait, same thing anyway--"
Kakuzu hit Hidan in the face with his breifcase, stunning him into silence for a moment.
"Get up." He said to Deidara, wiping a sleeve over the bloody surface of his case. Hidan was muttering to himself, holding his nose. They were both watching him, waiting.
Deidara put out a hand against the tree trunk for support and tried to pull himself up. Hidan sneered, fucker was amused of course. Kakuzu was expressionless. "Can you do it?"
His legs no longer felt numb after being untied for a while, but still felt kind of weak; he rubbed at his calf muscles with his other hand; co-ordination in his arms wasn't too bad. Better than he thought it would be, actually.
"If you can't, we've been ordered to carry you back. But I'd rather not. And I'm getting very impatient," there was that subtle threat of anger in Kakuzu's voice.
NO! ENOUGH carrying! He would not be carried anymore, not even one more time! There was no way in hell he'd have them carry him back to base! It took effort, but Deidara, straining, stood up. There. He shifted his weight from leg to leg, that was better, yeah.
"Look at him. He's so gonna get killed by a fucking squirrel or mouse or something two seconds after we leave him Kakuzu."
"All he needs to do is lie low and get back to base. Hear that? No attention grabbing antics. Just get back; obtain your weapons, another uniform. I don't know about a replacement partner, talk to Zetsu there."
"Yeah I know. Back to base, un." They were saying he shouldn't, no; that he couldn't fight. Normally this would have resulted in Deidara throwing a fit, but he just wanted them gone now. Gone so that he could be alone.
"Good. We have bounties to hunt, Akatsuki doesn't run for free."
"Pfft, and I was kinda looking forward to kicking you around some more Dei-chan."
"One last thing before we go," said Kakuzu. "We don't have your clay; you'll have to get that, however you obtain it. But I gave Hidan a spare kunai to give you."
"Oh yeah, here," Hidan rummaged inside his coat and then idly tossed a kunai to Deidara.
WHAT.
"You had that all along! Why did you cut my ties with your sythe, un!"
Hidan shrugged.
Deidara took one deep, slow, steady breath. He imagined Hidan exploding into a million teeny, miniscule, little baby pieces...happy thoughts.
"And I want that kunai back later, it's not a freebie." added Kakuzu. Stingy cheap-ass bastard.
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Deidara was making his way quickly through the trees. He was able to run at reasonably steady pace now, and moved noiselessly. He didn't feel steady enough to jump from branch to branch yet, and so stayed down on the forest floor. Didn't want a repeat of last time...
He was alone. Alone for the first time in days, he had his own space. It gave him strength, his spirit lifted and he felt so light, he ran even faster. Soon he could get some clay, make some art, make some explosions! yeah!
He would show those Konoha bastards, he couldn't stand that they'd seen him like that. Being tied up, being carried around, having to depend on them for everything, it had been too humiliating. When he had his clay...he'd prove to them he wasn't weak. He'd show them...
Just thinking about it, his hands were starving for some clay. Craving it. He looked down at them for the hundredth time that day since they were returned.
Deidara couldn't stop looking at his hands, getting used to the fact he had them back. He turned them over, examined his nails. Really needed a re-paint, they were so chapped...did he leave a bottle in his coat, the one they had taken away? He wondered if fucking Tenten had laid claim to that like she had with his scope, but black nail-varnish wouldn't really go with her image, it would look so stupid! Only Akatsuki made it look good--"
Distracted, he ran directly into Kakashi's chest.
Or at least, his bunshin did.
Deidara watched, panting, peering cautiously around the side of a tree located further down. Whilst running he had seen movement up ahead and quickly separating from a clone, had hopped aside behind the tree; leaving it to keep on running.
Why was Kakashi-bastardface here? Hadn't Kakuzu told him the Leaf-nin retreated? But Kakuzu had been pretty vague with his answer, he was stingy with information as well as money. The Leaf guys, they were resourceful bastards, probably had come up with some plan or other; they usually did. So they were still chasing him then? Were the others nearby? Kakuzu said he'd injured one of the boys, did he mean Naruto or Neji? And Lee had been in pretty bad shape, had Sakura managed to help him? Kakashi would know if they lived...
He watched as Kakashi tried to twist his bunshin around into arm arm-lock, but it was putting up a pretty good fight; violently elbowing him up under his stupid mysterious chin, ha!
Deidara must have been crazy to have liked this guy, even momentarily, this idiot who was fooled by such an elementary level jutsu! God it was soo funny. But, he knew he couldn't stick around to watch for long. Escape. Get clay. Kill everyone later. That was his priority.
Kakashi was winning quickly against his bunshin now, pinning it down. Deidara sucked at close combat. Deidara knew he should get of here now before he realised, but he wanted to watch Kakashi struggle around like a dumbass for just one more second; look at him one more time...
An arm locked tightly around his neck. "A bunshin distraction works better if you don't linger around, you know." Kakashi grabbed his right arm and twisted it behind him, causing him to drop his kunai. Deidara yelped in surprise as he saw both of the bunshin's vanish; damn it, he'd been caught out!
"I just got away, un!" he growled, trying awkwardly, unsuccessfully, to kick at him. "Fuck's sake Kakashi! Let me go!"
"You know I won't." Kakashi's voice was frustratingly relaxed behind him."Come on now, we both know you can't escape. You're by no means 'weak', but you're too burnt out to do anything right now. You're still coming to Konoha." Kakashi pressed him against up the tree, shifting around, he meant to try and tie Deidara's arms.
Kakashi's grip was like iron. Not this again! Even if Deidara's body had been working at full capacity, he would have been no match. He was smaller, weaker, his close combat skills were average at best. Ok, fine. So they were utter shit. He'd always been too arrogant to work on them; dismissed them as something he would never need to use; yet again, he was paying for it.
"So, I see you have your arms back; the Akatsuki have that capability?"
Kakashi was barely even exerting himself, and making chit-chat already, Arrrgh! Why did Kakashi have to be so cool about everything! Deidara understood Gai's frustration at Kakashi's laid-back attitude (ugh, he understood Gai now?)
But still, why did he have to be so weak against him! Deidara brought up his left hand to the arm Kakashi had fastened around his neck. He opened it's mouth as wide as he could, and clamped down on Kakashi's arm, hard.
Kakashi made a pained sound and his grip loosened, he hadn't been expecting that. Deidara tasted blood in his hand's mouth... he used all his strength to break away but only managed to get a few feet before Kakashi swept a leg under him, sending him crashing to the ground. Kakashi went to stoop over him but Deidara brought a foot up, hard, into Kakashi's groin. Doing that, it felt way more satisfying than it probably should have - Reject me, huh?
"Oomph" Kakashi grimaced but recovered himself, visible eye was squinting with pain; he kept walking toward Deidara, who was backing away still. Deidara felt too fatigued and out of practice, he couldn't keep this up. He had such little usable chakra, he'd spent years honing it for his art, for the specific creation of bombs, although it channeled it through his body; without clay he couldn't even make proper use of most of it!
Deidara saw where his kunai had dropped and made a dive across to grab it, but Kakashi's foot came down hard on his arm. Despite his kicking, Kakashi managed to pin Deidara to the ground, a foot crushing his recovering arm, a knee in his back and a hand keeping his head still, by the hair. His hair was not a fucking handle! Why always his hair!
"ARRGHH!" Deidara howled, thrashing madly in frustration. "Fucking get off! Get the hell off, un!"
"No."
Kakashi had not even used any jutsu's. He was going easy on him. All of this, and it was like Kakashi was just playing with him; he was no match.
"I'm glad I was the one to find you," Kakashi was saying,"There are others out here looking to kill you. In your condition...it might not have ended well."
Deidara turned his face into the ground. He remembered how they had fought before, before all this, before everything had gone so bad for him. He'd been strong, had the upper hand even!
Kakashi had fought to his fullest, even had pulled out that sharingan-vortex-making-thing! Surely it was one of, if not the most powerful attack Kakashi had. He'd been visibly drained afterwards, after using it. When Deidara had been captured; Kakashi had just overseen everything whilst leaning against a tree for support, exhausted. But Deidara, he hadn't even needed to use higher than his C2! Or at least, he'd felt he hadn't needed to. Perhaps he should have, earlier? He shouldn't have underestimated them... maybe had he used his more powerful techniques earlier, none of this would have even happened.
But, at least then, Deidara hadn't even felt like an equal with them, he'd felt superior! They had been a mutual threat to each other, Kakashi viewed him as something dangerous, something worthy of fearing...
But now, it was like this. And Kakashi had seen him at his lowest, had comforted him like a child and held his hair back while he was sick. And...that humiliating rejection. He just thought Deidara was some stupid confused kid! How could he keep up his bravado, knowing that Kakashi had seen him like that. How could Kakashi respect him? He wanted his respect, not his pity.
He hated the feel Kakasi's weight on his back, oppressing him. He wanted it to be the other way around. Kakashi should get a taste of how this felt, to be so helpless - barely even able to move...he had no idea!
Deidara made a miserable sound into the ground. Enough of this.
"Don't be like that Deidara, please."
"Just let me go, un." He just wanted to be as far away from Kakashi as possible.
"I'm sorry that I have to do this..." Deidara strained to look behind him. This?
Kakashi had lifted his forehead protector up, revealing the sharingan. His stomach twisted at the sight of it, the last time he'd seen it, it had been used to take his arm off! and it was reminding him again, of that first time he'd ever been defeated, one of the first of so many humiliations in his life now.
"I probably should have done this at the beginning..."
"Done what? What does that mean, un?" he hissed. Did Kakashi mean to use his sharingan to sever his arms again? He couldn't handle it! "No! Not that, un! Don't - "
Kakashi said nothing to him now, he was trying to turn Deidara over. Deidara struggled hard, but it was no good. "Kakashi, un, not that, please..."
"I'm sorry."
"Just tie them, I'll stop struggling, just don't make me like that again, un," Deidara grew still. If his arms were severed again, Deidara felt that he wouldn't be able to take it!
Kakashi twisted Deidara around to face him. Kakashi was just too strong, He was even able to pin both of his wrists with just one hand. It was hopeless, Deidara could only glare up at Kakashi, angry; miserable.
"It's only a genjutsu...so you can sleep until we reach Konoha, that would probably be better for you."
Deidara tried to turn his face away, but Kakashi took hold of his chin and made Deidara face him. "I'll make it something good, I promise, something with flying..."
Deidara closed his right eye.
His fighting spirit flickered back within him, filled him with hope. He could compete with Kakashi.
He had trained for this specifically so that he could beat Itachi; he'd never have predicted how useful it could come in at another moment. Deidara could resist the average genjutsu easily enough, but the one that bastard Itachi had used on him, long ago now, had been too overwhelming; because it was boosted by the power of the sharingan. The sharingan, it had enthralled him, although he would never say it. His left eye; it couldn't resist a sharingan powered genjutsu, but it could break from it.
Suddenly it seemed like there was nothing else but Kakashi's sharingan bearing down on him. His gaze was dizzying, that endless black wheel, it was too beautiful... He felt so drowsy, he was going. Kakashi faded away above him.
Deidara was his old self again, he sat on one of his clay creations, soaring high, alone, with the sky all to himself. He took a handful of clay and felt it, testing the texture between his fingers for a bit before swallowing. His body tingled a bit as he mixed the clay with his chakra, and opening his hand, a butterfly rested there. He set it free, watching it flutter against the strong wind, struggling, trying, before it died in a vivid explosion of blue and green, beautiful.
The way it had strived against the wind, fighting it's fate before it exploded forever; that had been beautiful too. Why had he never noticed before? That will, it was art, just as the explosion; undoubtedly still the best part; just as the explosion that ended it's life had been art. And realising this, it just increased his appreciation of it ten-fold; enriched it. He felt moved, felt...
Inspired.
He stayed there a moment, enjoying the feeling of the wind in his hair and clothes.
Deidara was fully aware this wasn't real. And because he was aware of that, it meant he could break from it whenever he chose. But he couldn't do it just yet. It was too good, being like this.
But his real body was still captive right now, it was going to end up imprisoned in Konoha. It was likely to die before he could ever do this again. If he ever wanted to secure this feeling again for real...
Deidara was brought back down to his uncomfortable position on the forest floor.
Kakashi had released his wrists when he felt Deidara become lax. Deidara had returned to himself, but still pretended to be under the influence of the genjutsu. He stared up vacantly, but in reality, was concentrating hard. He couldn't allow the slightest flicker of his eyes to give him away. He waited for his chance...
Kakashi did not move off of him right away. He just...looked at his face for a little while. It was hard to tell, but; was Kakashi smiling, under his mask? It wasn't a victorious smile, but something almost...he didn't know, didn't recognise it. It just wasn't victorious, it was some other kind of thing.
Was he thinking that Deidara was happy in the genjutsu he'd designed for him? Something about that made Deidara feel funny. Sort of glad...
There was a swish and a crack in the air, then Kakashi fell forward on top of him with a heavy thud; he was knocked out cold. Deidara looked up, shocked.
That laugh.
Hidan had whacked Kakashi around the head with the back of his sythe.
"Pffft, so I'm rescuing you again blondie, you sure need it today don't you?"
"Hidan! You bastard! I had everything under control, un."
"Didn't look like it to me! Maybe you were to thick to notice, but you were under his genjutsu just now dumbass."
Deidara had kept it a secret. That he trained himself to break a sharingan users genjutsu. No one knew about it except him, because if it had ever got back to Itachi, he would have lost his advantage...
"Uggh, was I, un?" Deidara asked owlishly, belatedly - but Hidan was too stupid to notice his slip-up.
Hidan walked up and kicked Kakashi over, off of Deidara. Deidara tried not to flinch.
"Anyway, I think he's gay for you or something. The way he was looking at you while you were out of it Deidara-chan; seriously, I think the problem is all your hair. I keep telling you to cut that shit off, you look like a girl! I'll do it for you if you want." Hidan held up his sythe, grinning.
Deidara looked down at Kakashi. Oh my God. Blood was coming out of his ear, did Hidan kill him? No, he was breathing.
"Did he damage your brain or something? You normally wanna strangle me when I call you a girl! Hey girly-face, get mad!"
Deidara slowly got up to his feet. What now? What the hell now? He was free, yeah? That was what he wanted, wasn't it, to get away from Kakashi, to kill Kakashi...
He delivered a swift kick to Hidan's backside, causing the idiot to stumble. "That one's just for dropping me earlier, un!" Later, he would additionally make Hidan pay for nearly castrating him, for calling him a girl, for all of the shit he'd said,
And, most of all, for 'rescuing' him just now...
Hidan rubbed at where he'd been kicked, smiling. "Got any more to give me, Dei-chan?" How could Deidara get back at a guy who enjoyed pain? it was infuriating...
Hidan stood over Kakashi. "Hm, he's still alive. BORING fight, would've expected from the great copy-nin or whatever-the-shit he was," Hidan laughed. "No match for my genius tactics though!"
"What do you mean, 'Genius tactics?' You only hit him in the head with a fucking stick un!" Hidan, so stupid, he was nowhere near Kakashi's level, nowhere near his level that he should deserve to gloat like this! He'd only got lucky because Kakashi had been distracted. Kakashi, who never got distracted. And Kakashi had been distracted because...
"You're just jealous 'cause you couldn't do it! But it's ok, maybe him sitting on you reminded you of getting raped or something," He hooked an arm around Deidara's neck, yanking him close, into his chest. "There, there." he said with mock kindness, "Hidan will look after you now."
"RAAagh!!" With some difficulty, Deidara shoved him away, eyes blazing. "IF I HAD MY CLAY RIGHT NOW UN," he paused, panting, clenched his fists tightly. Hidan was too much, he was just too much. "I will murder you, un. Seriously. If you talk about that one more time, un. Blow you UP. There'll be a million pieces of you, Kakuzu would never stitch you back together, not if he sewed his whole immortal life, un."
"Yeah, yeah, you can kill me all you want later, it'll be fun." Hidan took out his amulet and brought it to his lips. He closed his eyes and began to pray. The hell? That guy could go from loud to quiet so fast.
"Why are you doing that, un?" Wait...
"I always pray to Lord Jashin before I kill, Deidara-chan."
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TBC
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OMAKE thingies
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"Trust me." smiled Hidan carelessly.
"TRUST YOU! are you crazy, un?!"
Hidan yawned, and with one hand, idly swiped across his sythe.
Deidara actually screamed.
"Oops."
"AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaRRRRRRrR!!1MOTHERF**CKINGC**T!!!1, YOU CUT IT OFF! YOU ACTUALLY CUT IT OFF, UN!"
"Uh, fuck. Look, don't worry, it'll grow back..."
"Yeah but not for ages, un!" Deidara looked sadly down at his severed hair, the soft golden strands strewn across the ground, wafting away serenly in the gentle breeze, gone forever~(noooooes! D:)
"...It's not like I cut off your dick or something."
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~~**~~HiDan's baBy-siTting seRviCe~~**~~
- Caring
- Kind
- Compassionate
- Responsible
Feel at ease knowing your little ones are in the best of care!
~Totally approved by Lord Jashin~
~Survival rate is now approximately 1 out of every 500!~
~CALL HIDAN on 00845ILOVETORTURE
IF A GUY CALLED KAKUZU ANSWERS THE PHONE TELL HIM HE'S C**KSUCKER AHAHA
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Deidara watched as Kakashi tried to twist his bunshin around into arm-lock...it was...kinda hot.
(It was so tempting to actually write that.)
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Crossover:
"I can't believe you lost your arm again! Seriously, you are terrible!"
Winry set her mechanics bag down next to Deidara and brought out an automail arm.
".....what the fuck, un."
Winry froze and peered closely at his face. "...Oh my God! You aren't him, my mistake..."
(Fullmetal!Deidara Elric :D)
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Notes.
Sorry for taking crazy maniac Deidara and making him all good-guy and romantic there, (wahh romance! wah *rolls around on the floor squeeing and fangirling in an undignified manner*) but my fic = my wish fufillments, bwahaha. Ahem.
I now feel compelled to write a HidaDei smut fic...or even KakuHidaDei o___0 yesss.
Um, about the 'worse version of chapter 3'. Since it keeps coming up. Too many people keep asking about this lol, with ffnet readers being strangely more perverted than those at affnet (weird.)
I thought that the existing chapter 3 was bad enough, I thought everyone would hate it. Instead of flaming me, way too many people express interest in the 'worse' version - YOU GUYS ARE ALL EVIL! OK, so I'm secretly relieved that people are as evil and perverted as I am, glad even, ahhh. Anyway, that version is gone, doesn't exist. I'm sorry for even eluding to it's existence. I only mentioned that this version was better than the old version because I thought people would be GLAD at Dei not being treated as cruelly. So that you know, it was only about 300 extra words in which the men took turns with Deidara, it was much too scary (for me) and lacking in subtley. I felt like a very bad person writing it. *hides in a corner* That's all it was.
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Next chapter is in progress. Will take a bit longer than previous ones
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- 5
- 6
- 7
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Deidara Grounded