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The Sitter	By : KitsuneArasi Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1279 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I don't own or profit from Naruto in any way. Nearly put out my eye with that ninjutsu game toy. -.-

Chapter List
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A/N: If anyone is open to working up fanart, I could use some cover art for Y!Gal. I hate to be presumptuous, but holy Hecate, I can't tell you how many icon warnings I've gotten. Oo Anyway, enjoy.

The Sitter
Part Six: Lightweight
-Hands are to remain above the waistline.-
"For the record, this is not a habit of mine."
"What, blackmailing innocent babysitters into dating you?"
Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "The blackmail was not actually my fault. It appears that my brother and your�Kakashi�had this entire travesty arranged before you'd even set foot in our home."
"'Travesty'? I didn't know I was taking out a walking Webster's."
Sasuke growled, "I didn't know I was being taken out, let alone by a Neanderthal whose educational progress peaked at the third grade level."
"There! There it is! You're calling me stupid again!"
"Far be it from me, Mr. Uzumaki, to state the obvious so blatantly." Sasuke jabbed sweetly.
Naruto jerked backwards like he'd been slapped, eyes widening almost comically as he attempted to regain balance on his stool, "See? See? You�dude! You suck! I can't believe so many girls like you!"
A slow, self-assured smirk formed on the Uchiha's lips, "Tragic, isn't it? That I would rather 'suck' than sleep with any one of my�'lovely admirers'?"
The blonde choked on the breath he'd been drawing in, halted in the midst of an agitated comeback.
"What?"
Sasuke blinked at the blonde, fluttering those long, feminine lashes as if truly surprised at the blonde's shocked reaction, "Why, what seems to be the problem, Na-ru-to?"
Were he not so perceptive, he might have missed the delicate shudder that passed through the tanned man. As it was, he quirked a delicate brow.
"I�you�just�I mean...tact?"
"If you agreed to this date expecting that, then I'm afraid you were mistaken. I've never been known for lying to make others feel warm and fuzzy despite their own glaring insecurities and misconceptions."
Naruto snorted, shaking his head.
"What, no witty comebacks? No torturous barbs to lob in my direction? Oh, please, Naruto. Please. I beg you. Hurt me, punish me for my cruel, cruel plot to torment the 'innocent babysitters' of the world." Sasuke growled.
"�We wouldn't be having this conversation if I'd just asked you 'What', would we�?"
"Probably not." Sasuke agreed stiffly.
Naruto sighed, looking in the opposite direction for a moment before examining Sasuke out of the corner of his eye.
"�I can see you looking at me, you know. It's obvious that you are."
"�Yeah."
"So why are you still doing it?"
"Just thinking. �When you pout like that, I can kind of�maybe�see what the girls see in you. Just a little."
The dark-haired man shook his head, "I do not pout. �And I don't care what those wretched harpies see in me."
Naruto let out a frustrated, growling sigh, "That's not harsh at all. �I was trying to compliment you, man. To-I don't know-apologize, or something."
"�I know. I just don't like talking about those women."
"What for? A lot of 'em are really nice, and good-looking, and smart�" Naruto trailed off, watching as Sasuke's expression soured�dare he say, 'cutely'?
"And superficial, and selfish, and flighty, and completely delusional."
"Hey! That's not fair. I'm friends with some of those girls!"
"Lucky you," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "At least they don't stalk you."
"Lucky? Sakura Haruno, the girl I've crushed on since we were in junior high, is completely gaga in love with you. Lucky me, huh?"
"It's not love."
Sasuke's stubborn tone seemed to dissipate as he looked down at his hands, fisted tightly on the counter.
"Okay. What is it, then?"
"I don't know," He sighed, "But I know that it's not love. If a kid keeps a butterfly in a jar until it suffocates, is that love? No. It's not. It's not right; to think that that might be all there is waiting. To be put on a pedestal, in a jar, in a lacquered box until you suffocate and die. That can't be 'it', but it is all they seem to want from me."
"�Even Sakura?" Naruto asked quietly, "I mean�she's always been really�"
"Uzumaki�when did you meet her?"
"�Around kindergarten."
"And your contact has been fairly constant?"
"Yeah."
"You've gotten to know her. Over time. Through shared experiences and conversation. Bonding."
Naruto almost chuckled.
If he ever suggested aloud that he and Sakura had, at any point, been 'bonding', he'd probably take a hit to the solar plexus.
"I guess you could say that."
"And what if, when you met her in kindergarten, she had told you that she wanted to marry you. What if she told you, in the middle of a game of�I don't know, race cars�what if she told you she wanted to have your children?"
"That's�kind of awkward."
"Yeah, well that's my life, Uzumaki. Except, instead of just four-year-old girls, I heard it from twenty-year-old women."
"�Sounds like you need a beer."
Beer the First:
"I'm just�kinda jealous, I guess."
"Of the perpetual girl-shriek induced migraine, or the constant fear of being forcefully raped for the purposes of farming your DNA?"
"Of the fact that you don't have to bend over backwards for�well, anything."
"Are you saying that I'm pampered, or are you referring to my prowess in Limbo?" Sasuke asked dryly.
The blonde snorted, "I'm saying I'm jealous of your�well, your 'DNA', I guess."
"My DNA? Really?"
"Well, yeah. I'm pretty sure that every girl inside city limits thinks my genes are poisonous. Except Hinata, and I'm pretty sure if I ever did go out with her, I'd drive her nuts, too."
"Just within city limits?"
"Don't have a car. Yet," He grinned sheepishly, "Savin' up, an' all. Iruka and Kakashi said they'd help out�well, Iruka said, Kakashi asked me if it'd keep me out some nights�but I wanna get up most of the cash myself, you know? Responsibility, and all that stuff."
"So you'll be spreading your plagued genes faster than you think."
"Yeah. Whatever." Naruto rolled his eyes, "What about you? I take it the Gay Thing is kinda detrimental to continuing the family line."
You have no fucking idea.
"Huh."
Sasuke motioned for another round.
Beer the Second:
"So�what is there to do?"
"Hm-mm?" Naruto hummed over the rim of his glass, surprisingly a bit more docile with the alcohol in his system.
"Within city limits. What is there to do? You know, outside of the mall�"
Naruto blinked.
"You're asking me?"
"You seem pretty�sociable?"
"Yeah, but you've lived here a long time, too, right?"
"I haven't done much�'partying', I guess."
"At all? In twenty-something years?"
"I've been busy. Studying."
Naruto looked at him as if he'd just confessed that his privates were composed of Purple Kryptonite, "For what, bastard?"
Sasuke huffed, knocking back the rest of his beer.
"I have no�fucking�idea."
Naruto motioned for another round.
Beer the Third:
"So�you've been studying."
A grunt.
"You don't know what for."
A sigh.
"Guess you should make up for it, huh?"
"Mm."
Naruto huffed, rolling his eyes, "C'mon, creepy bastard. We're going to see a friend 'o mine."
Sasuke arched a brow, half-questioning, half-mocking.
Naruto leaned in, nose almost touching his dark-haired date's, "Well? Didn't you ask what's to do?"
"I did�"
"Then c'mon. I'm gonna show ya somethin'." He winked, and Sasuke narrowly avoided biting his own lip.
Teuchi looked at them oddly before Naruto's eyes slid over to him, not moving his face from its proximity to Sasuke's, "Not like that, Old Man, 'm just gonna take him someplace fun, that's all!"
He stuck his tongue out, eyes narrowing into a mischievous, fox-like expression.
"Does 'fun' involve ink?" Sasuke asked softly, eyes tracing the blonde's nicely-muscled arms, licking his lips absently, "I have�bad luck with booze and ink�"
Naruto drew back, blinking rapidly as he canted his head, "I'm sorry. �Did you just admit to having a tattoo?"
Sasuke nodded.
"Can I see?"
Sasuke seemed to ponder for a moment, then rose from his stool and began, clumsily, to undo the fastenings of his pants.
"Whoa, there, cowboy!" Naruto's hands darted to grip Sasuke's, halting any further motions, "Th-that's okay. I get it. Private place. Are you�drunk, man?"
Sasuke blinked, taking another quiet moment to ponder, then�
He nodded.
"That feels nice." He said, in that same quiet voice as before.
"What feels�uhhhhhh�," Naruto's eyes bugged, a bright flush spreading over his cheeks as he noticed that his hands were pressing pale digits snugly against the raven-haired male's personal parts, "Th-that. Okay. Nice. Right. Th-that was an accident. Not gonna happen again."
His hands retreated, fluttering about his hips in a general confusion before resolving to stuff themselves innocently into his pockets�where they would, presumably, be doing much less harm.
"Oh. That's unfortunate." Sasuke sighed, sounding genuinely disappointed.
Yep. The guy was definitely a lightweight.
"J-just come on!" Naruto grabbed him by the arm, tossing a wad of cash on the counter before dragging his companion out the door of the establishment, the sound of Teuchi's roaring laughter following them out.
AN: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry the last chapter was so short, but I wanted to give all of you both sides. :) Also, FUCK YEAH! Jelp reviewed my story. I can die happy. I really ought to start reviewing more, because that probably sounds bizarre coming from someone previously too shy to review on AFF. XD

Anyway, live long and prosper, y'all.
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The Sitter