Identity Crisis

Sorry. I know it’s been a while since I updated. Here’s a quick re-cap of what’s going on:

Sasuke’s soul is trapped in Naruto’s body. Naruto wants to find a way to get Sasuke a new body, but Sasuke’s not so agreeable about the idea. It doesn’t help that people don’t believe Naruto, though he is finally starting to win a few people over. However, Naruto’s long last family still doesn’t know about Naruto’s houseguests – Sasuke or Kyuubi – but they are expecting quite a bit of him. Sleeping also hasn’t been too easy for Naruto. He keeps dreaming about his father giving him a cryptic warning, but he can’t figure out what it means. Naruto’s got a lot on his plate, and it doesn’t help that Sasuke takes control of his body when he sleeps. Sasuke’s too restless. A restless Sasuke is never a good thing, and he even went shopping in order to pass the time, unknowingly complicating Naruto’s life a whole lot more than was necessary...


Identity Crisis

Chapter 6: Wife or Life Mate?

Naruto was still angrily muttering about how Sasuke had not asked permission to take his body out grocery shopping of all things, and it was pissing him off that Sasuke was more amused at his reaction and not really that apologetic.

"What the hell are you grinning about anyway?" Naruto demanded, angrily.

"Just picturing you walking about the streets in the middle of the night, talking angrily to yourself, and I just wondered how people are looking at you," Sasuke said, amused. Naruto opened his mouth, caught slightly off-guard and looked around him. There were people staring at him. However, most of them didn’t look at him like he had gone crazy (though a few people did keep their distance). In fact, a few people, a group of girls specifically, looked like they were checking him out. He stopped and looked at them curiously. The girls giggled and waved. He turned around to make sure that they were really waving at him before smiling shyly at them and waving back. This just caused the girls to giggle even more. Naruto took one last confused look at them before he continued walking.

"Oo! I definitely want to have his ninja babies!" Naruto almost froze in his tracks when he heard one of the girls say that, registering that they were talking about him. He was about to turn around and say something to them before he heard Sasuke snarl, no longer sounding amused.

"Keep walking! Keep walking idiot," Sasuke hissed. Naruto didn't bother to berate Sasuke for his tone because as Naruto inspected the girls closer, he sensed a strange and almost dangerous aura coming from them: kind of like a cat about ready to pounce on its prey. It vaguely reminded Naruto of that time almost two years ago when he had first gotten his long, black overcoat and glasses. The girls had practically attacked him at the gambling place Ero-sanin had told him to wait at while Jiraiya went off for a drink. Come to think of it, he was currently wearing the same outfit he had been “attacked” in back then. Naruto looked down making sure. It was the same outfit.

"Why does everyone look at me differently only in this outfit?" Naruto asked, somewhat angrily. He thought he looked fine all the time. Sasuke was about to make a retort about how hideous the orange he wore looked on him, and how it clashed with his blond hair, but he knew that Naruto truly did love that orange jumpsuit. Even so, Sasuke thought about the question seriously. Perhaps it wasn’t just the outfit.

"It's the glasses. They do a wonder to your face. They make you look more mature by relaxing your eyes and giving off that intellectual look. In contrasts with the wildness of your hair," Sasuke said thoughtfully. Glasses made a lot of people look like a geek. Naruto was one of the rare few that glasses truly enhanced his features because of how they made his eyes look.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," Naruto said, rolling his eyes disbelieving, but he didn't have any other explanation, and he ignored the stares of people as he returned back to his apartment (though he did take off the glasses for good measure). He dumped the bag of groceries on the floor of his kitchen and immediately changed back into his pajamas and headed to bed.

"Don't wander around in my body anymore," Naruto growled. Sasuke shrugged.

"Sure. Goodnight," Sasuke said. Naruto grumbled something unintelligible, and he sighed, feeling exhausted again. He was asleep again in a matter of minutes.

Sasuke sighed upon feeling himself in charge of Naruto's body once more. Grinning, he got up out of bed and carefully began to put away the groceries Naruto had gotten at the store. He made sure to put them in a locale that he hoped Naruto wouldn't find them and throw them away. Naruto really ought to eat more than just ramen. After finding good hiding spots, he fixed himself a nutritional snack, curving Naruto's hunger. Naruto must have been so angry or too exhausted to notice his growling stomach before heading off to sleep.

Sasuke was glad he could do something for Naruto, even if it was just to curb his hunger. He thought about it for a moment, and decided Naruto's soul and his body probably needed rest in addition to nourishment. Deciding he really should try and rest Naruto’s body, he went back to bed and lied down. Sasuke wasn't sure if he would be able to sleep himself, but he would at least meditate so that Naruto could get the rest his body needed.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Creepy," Naruto said as he looked in the mirror the following morning, only to have Sasuke's voice come out of his mouth. He looked at his black hair, creamy white skin, and black eyes, which stared back at him in the mirror. It was hard to tell when Sasuke was talking or he was talking since Sasuke’s features didn’t reappear over his own since he looked exactly like Sasuke.

"You think it's creepy that you awoke looking just like me?" Sasuke asked, rather annoyed. "You've been going through so many different transformations. Isn't it nice to look completely human for once?"

"It's creepy 'cuz I kind of want to molest myself like this," Naruto said as he stretched the waistband of his pajamas to look at his penis to see if it looked like Sasuke's. It did!

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" Sasuke asked incredulously, watching as Naruto's soul form reached inside his pajama pants.

"If you think I'm looking for a vagina, then no, you're wrong," Naruto said, with Sasuke's voice while grinning widely with Sasuke's features.

"Are you looking at my dick?" Sasuke asked.

"Hey! My body! It's still mine, even if it looks like yours," Naruto said, using his arm that happened to look like Sasuke's to slowly caress himself. It was weird for Sasuke to hear his voice coming from Naruto's body but with Naruto's vocabulary. Even so, Sasuke could see Naruto's soul standing right in front of him as he stroked himself. Naruto may have been seeing Sasuke, but Sasuke saw Naruto's soul form just fine.

It felt unfair for Sasuke to watch as Naruto jerked himself off. He wanted to say something about how he wished that he could touch Naruto, but he knew it was a wasted cause. Instead, he watched as Naruto's soul pleasured himself. While Sasuke knew it was stupid to do, knew that it would make no difference, Sasuke couldn't help but want to reach out and touch Naruto's soul. He knew that his hand would go right through Naruto as though he weren't there.

But Sasuke couldn't help himself. He missed Naruto so much.

Sasuke moved forward, watching as Naruto's head leaned back ever so slightly, his hand pumping at his cock. He knew it wouldn't make any difference, but he wanted to touch Naruto so badly, feel Naruto's warm lips. They looked so inviting as they parted in pleasure.

Sasuke leaned forward, knowing he wouldn't be able to touch Naruto, wishing with all his heart just to be able to be near Naruto again. He brushed his lips against the lips of the image of Naruto's soul.

He froze in shock as he felt the warm lips beneath him. Sasuke was even more shocked when he felt warm lips move back against his, and his shock only increased as a hand came up to hold the back of his head to press his lips firmly against Naruto’s. Sasuke wondered if he were dreaming now because he could actually feel Naruto's soul responding to his. And it truly felt like Naruto. Hell, it smelled like Naruto. Sasuke couldn’t recall ever being able to use his sense of smell inside the soul realm.

Only fleetingly wondering if he were hallucinating, Sasuke wrapped both of his arms around Naruto, definitely feeling the warmth of Naruto against him. Naruto broke off the kiss and blinked at Sasuke clearly confused.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, looking about him, a death grip on Sasuke in his shock. "What's going on? Where are we?" Naruto asked, his voice coming out slightly panicked. Sasuke's eyes widened.

"Can you – can you see me?" Sasuke asked in shock.

"See you and feel you," Naruto confirmed, gripping Sasuke tightly. "I was jerking off, and the next thing I know, I felt your soul moving over top of my body like I usually do. It felt like when you move about in the soul realm. Next thing I know I couldn't feel those movements over top of my own. Instead, I felt you against me, and your lips were on mine. I closed my eyes, and now...here I am, wherever here is," Naruto said.

"I can feel you," Sasuke said incredulous. "I can feel you," he repeated as he wrapped his arms around Naruto.

"Sasuke, I've missed you," Naruto said as he embraced Sasuke back, feeling almost silly as he said the words. They'd been together twenty-four seven, and yet, it hadn't really been like they were "together." Having Sasuke inside his head was more like being on a walkie-talkie with him than actually being with him.

"Hn," Sasuke murmured as he relished in the feeling of holding Naruto. He understood Naruto's sentiments. He’d missed being able to look face to face with Naruto and touch him. Without wasting further time, Sasuke pressed his lips against Naruto's, relishing in the way he could finally touch Naruto again. Warm lips, warm body, all so familiar and safe.

Naruto snaked his hand into Sasuke's hair, feeling Sasuke. It was strange to have just felt Sasuke's bodily movements over top of his own to feeling Sasuke's body pressed against his. Sasuke responded to him just as he remembered the last time they'd made love. Running his fingers through Sasuke's hair, he couldn't help the tears that sprang to his eyes, tears of utter joy at being able to hold Sasuke again. He pressed his lips on top of Sasuke's, almost afraid if he pressed too hard Sasuke would disappear.

The kiss was gentle and soft. Their mouths moved upon each other’s lips, caressing and being caressed slowly. Naruto pressed his lips more firmly into Sasuke's, still gentle, but the pressure made the kiss feel more like a massage of lips than mere caresses. Probing with his tongue, Sasuke encouraged Naruto's lips to part, which he did so willingly. As Naruto open his mouth a little wider, Sasuke pressed his lips a little closer together so that Naruto's mouth engulfed his own as he slid his tongue inside of Naruto, teasing Naruto's tongue with his own. He ran his tongue along the tip of Naruto's, coaxing Naruto's tongue to follow his closer to their lips.

Sasuke pulled his tongue back into his own mouth, waiting for Naruto's tongue to follow. His lips twitched in a smile as Naruto's tongue entered his mouth.

Naruto moaned as he felt Sasuke close his lips softly around his tongue as his lover pressed his mouth even closer to Naruto's. Sasuke sucked wickedly on Naruto's warm appendage, moving and sucking it around in his mouth like a lollipop. Moaning even more, Naruto gripped the back of Sasuke's head, his hips thrusting slightly into Sasuke's body as he imagined Sasuke's mouth sucking and coaxing another part of him.

As Sasuke kissed him, Naruto felt his mind going hazy, and he realized that he was holding his breath as he allowed Sasuke to keep kissing him. Reluctantly, Naruto pulled his tongue from Sasuke's mouth and gave Sasuke a quick kiss on the lips before taking a deep breath of air. Slowly Sasuke untangled his limbs from his beloved’s body.

They both smiled and smirked, looking at each other. Naruto took another deep breath, realizing he was still feeling dizzy, and he moved his hand from Sasuke's hair to put it on his chest when he had trouble taking a breath –

– Only to find himself standing in front of his mirror once more, his own reflection staring back at him with no sign of Sasuke or Sasuke's soul anywhere near him.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, panicked.

"I can't feel you any more!" Sasuke's voice came from his head, Sasuke's features reappearing over his as they usually did when Naruto looked in the mirror and Sasuke talked.

"What happened?" Naruto asked, shakily. "I'm back in front of the bathroom mirror again, and I look like me! Well, except when you talk because then your features take over mine of course," Naruto said.

"Damnit!" Sasuke cursed, and Naruto could feel Sasuke clenching his fist. "I can't touch you anymore. I tried kissing your lips again but nothing."

Naruto swallowed, not at all sure what to think. He had to turn away from the mirror so he didn't keep seeing Sasuke's face reappearing and disappearing every time that he talked.

"You kissed me and I came into the soul realm er thingy?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, but, I can't touch your soul again. That was the first time," Sasuke said.

"And then I moved away from you -"

"- and as soon as we stopped touching you left me," Sasuke said, his voice bitter.

"S-sorry. I shouldn't have moved," Naruto said, feeling guilty. Naruto felt Sasuke shake his head.

"You didn't know," Sasuke murmured.

"Do you still want to stay in my body now? This makes you want to get another body now, doesn’t it?" Naruto wondered defiantly. He hoped that having Sasuke able to feel him again would want to make him more determined to help find a new body.

"Of course not! If anything, it makes me want to stay inside your body even more. If I can touch you for periods of time inside your body, then it makes this situation all the more beneficial," Sasuke said. Naruto's eyes widened.

"Are you serious?!" Naruto asked (more like screeched), disbelieving. Sasuke nodded. Naruto opened and closed his mouth, wanting to argue, but was unable to find the words he wanted to try and convince Sasuke without them arguing.

Either having to live with Sasuke all the time was making Naruto think more before he acted, or Sasuke really was rubbing off on him.

Still, why was Sasuke so hell bent on staying in his body? It didn’t make sense! Why share the same body? Naruto sighed, frustrated, something bothering him, as though he ought to see “beneath the beneath” or whatever that saying was. Did Sasuke have a point? Suddenly, Naruto’s dream from the night before came back to him. He replayed it in his mind:

"You must be careful of your choices. Weigh your options. The better idea is there! What you were thinking about before really wasn't a good idea."

Once again his father was giving him advice – or a warning.

"It is a warning. Advice is a suggestion. This is a command – if I had the ability to enforce it of course," Yondaime's soothing voice answered dream Naruto's unasked question.

"I still don't get what you're talking about. More details!"

Yondaime scratched his head as though thinking about how to explain what he was talking about better. Naruto would have been satisfied just to get a damned explanation.

"Sasuke's right," Yondaime said finally. Naruto's eye twitched.

"Why is Sasuke right and I am wrong, and about what?" Naruto asked, grumbling. Yondaime didn't answer, but just smiled again sadly.

"You know," Yondaime said cryptically.

Clearly Naruto didn’t know, but what was he going to do about it? Sasuke couldn’t be right about staying in Naruto’s body. That idea was stupid. His father was probably talking about something else. He would have to figure it out. Naruto would have to think about his dream later. His rumbling stomach told him that food was the top priority at the moment.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"What do you mean Kakashi-sensei took Dokueki out on a mission?" Naruto asked Iruka incredulous. After neither he nor Sasuke spoke more about the strange incident where Sasuke had been able to touch Naruto’s soul, Naruto had decided he couldn't sit still any longer (he hadn't completely lost his usual restlessness) and went to find Kakashi and demand that he accept both his and Dokueki's explanations so they could help find Sasuke a new body.

"I mean," Iruka said, looking pointedly at Naruto, "that Dokueki most have said some pretty convincing things because Kakashi took the information to Tsunade-sama, and she decided the two of them would look into it immediately."

"What exactly is 'it?'"

"Probably the information Dokueki used-" Sasuke began before Iruka interrupted.

"Dokueki said something that seemed of high importance, but I'm not sure what. However, Tsunade does want to speak with you so she can re-evaluate your uh...mental health," Iruka said. Naruto crossed his arms.

"You mean she might believe me now?" Naruto asked, trying night to sound too offended.

"Hopefully," Iruka said.

"Where is the old hag anyway?" Naruto asked.

"Don't call the Hokage that," Iruka said, but his tone wasn't overly harsh as it seemed that he realized Naruto used the insult as a term of affection. "She can't see you now, but she'll send word for you when she's available."

"What do you mean she's not available? She's always available to see me!" Naruto said, huffing.

"Yeah, but you're crazy now, remember? Maybe she doesn't see crazy people," Sasuke said, smirking.

"You-" Naruto began, before he stopped himself from insulting Sasuke in front of Iruka. Even if Iruka did believe him about Sasuke, it still didn't mean he looked any less crazy insulting a person no one else could hear.

"She's got an important delegate from Rock Country here. Do NOT interrupt them," Iruka said warningly. Naruto sighed.

"Fine," Naruto agreed. Did Iruka really think he didn't know better than to go barging in on the Hokage during something like that? Heheheh...okay, so he'd done that once with Sandaime. Once! It had all worked out in the end anyway. "I'm going to go see my family now," Naruto said. A brief spurt of sadness, quickly covered up by happiness for Naruto flittered through Iruka's eyes.

"That sounds nice," Iruka said. Naruto scratched the back of his head, realizing that Iruka had taken to him because neither of them had had any family growing up. Now Naruto did have a family.

"H-hey. Do you want to come and meet them? They're really cool. My grandmother, Kyohaku, is really sweet. My great-grandfather, Sen-san, is a riot. He's really excitable all the time too. Great-grandmother Izanami is also really sweet, and pretty smart. And of course, my great Uncle Shijimi is the daimyo. You've probably at least met his wife, Lady Shijimi." Iruka, smiled.

"I have met Lady Shijimi. She comes here for her cat," Iruka said, wincing at the memories. Naruto winced too, remembering his missions in retrieving said cat.

"Yeah, she's alright. I don’t talk to her or Uncle Shijimi much. I'm closer to my grandmother and great-grandparents," Naruto explained.

"I think I'll pass on meeting them…for today," Iruka added, looking at Naruto's slightly crestfallen face. "I'm at work you know!"

"True," Naruto said scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Another time!" Naruto said jovially before waving his hand and bounding off towards his family's home.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Tadaima!" Naruto greeted, letting everyone know he was home. He'd never had anyone to say that to before, but his great-grandparents' and his grandmother's home felt like his home too. When he'd lived with the monks at one of Konoha’s temples and spoken Chinese, he'd never known of this greeting, otherwise he might have tried it then, even if the monks hadn't responded back to him. Something about announcing his presence in a home made Naruto feel more welcomed. It felt good to have a family.

"Cute," Sasuke said, smirking. He thought about making a snide comment about how childish Naruto was acting, but Sasuke could still remember the way it felt to have his mother greet him upon coming home, waiting for her voice to say –

"Okaerinasai!" Naruto's grandmother greeted jovially. Kyohaku smiled warmly at Naruto, coming over to greet him at the door. She engulfed him in a welcoming hug while planting a quick kiss on the top of his head. Naruto pulled away from her and blushed slightly at the motherly affection. Even so, he enjoyed the attention and affection she gave him, and he grinned up at her.

Sasuke did his best not to sulk too much as he watched the content expression on the form of Naruto's soul, his face completely and blissfully happy. He would be lying to himself if he said he wasn't jealous. He was very jealous that Naruto had a family while his family was dead; there was no point denying that jealousy. What made him even more jealous, jealous enough that it made him want to sulk, was that someone else was making Naruto happy. He knew he was being irrational, especially since it was Naruto's own grandmother making him so happy, but Sasuke had long since learnt that emotions were anything but rational. Sasuke's brooding was interrupted as he listened to what Kyohaku said to her grandson.

"You had some guests stop by looking for you earlier this morning," Kyohaku said, and she winked at Naruto. Naruto blinked back at her, surprised.

"Er, who?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Is that Naruto?" Izanami asked. Naruto turned to watch as his great-grandmother entered the room, looking excited to see him, even more excited than usual. "Naruto!" Izanami said, smiling widely as she gave her great-grandson a quick hug. "So, any love interests?"

Naruto blinked at his great-grandmother, trying to process her words. Any love interests? What in the world was she talking about? Why would she bring that up so suddenly?

"Uh-" Naruto couldn't say more than that, his voice catching in his throat.

"I didn't tell him yet. I was just going to," Kyohaku said excitedly. Naruto just looked back and forth between his grandmother and great-grandmother, wondering what they were talking about.

"Huh?" Naruto managed to get out. Both of the women in the room snickered.

"A little less than an hour ago, a group of about twenty girls came to our front door. Twenty!" Kyohaku giggled as though she were a giggling thirteen-year-old girl instead of a fifty-six year old woman.

"They were all looking for you," Izanami said, sounding just as excited.

"Uh...why?" Naruto asked, completely and utterly confused. Both women raised their eyebrows in unison.

"They were all asking if they could go on a date with you of course!"

"They were WHAT?" Naruto screeched. "Wait – wait – wait. What are you talking about? Twenty girls came over this morning looking for me to ask me out on a date? You're kidding, right?" Naruto said, looking completely and utterly baffled. Both women shook their heads.

"I told you I didn't think any of them really knew him," Kyohaku said to her mother thoughtfully. Izanami merely nodded. Kyohaku then turned to Naruto and then explained what she knew. "Apparently last night, a handful of the twenty girls had seen you out doing some late night shopping -"

"Those girls were serious about the ninja babies? That's just-" Sasuke's voice was (as usual) unknowingly cut off. Kyohaku of course could not hear his ranting after all and continued her explanation.

"- Apparently you waved at them, and they thought you were so endearing that they had to come meet you. They seemed to know you were a ninja and related to the daimyo, so they showed up here. It was rather hard to figure out exactly how the small group of girls that you had seen last night had grown from just a few people from the time they saw you to twenty people by the time this morning rolled around. A lot of things were hard to figure out through all of the yelling, but it was quite clear that a handful of the girls were accusing the rest of the girls that they had not been there when you had waved, and therefore shouldn't have come to ask you for a date. It was all rather confusing since they were yelling and squealing so much."

"Er, what?" Naruto was definitely confused. He wasn’t really following his grandmother’s explanation.

"Our dear Naruto already has a fan base!" Izanami said delightedly, and Naruto turned to look at her, wondering if it should surprise him or not that an eighty-year-old woman knew about fan girls. And what did she mean by already having a fan base?

"What do you mean by already?" Naruto asked, blinking at her, confused. Izanami just smiled widely.

"It's only natural for the daimyo heir to develop a fan base. I was the President for Sen-san's fan base at the tender age of fifteen. Ah – the good old days. We used to stalk him everywhere when his over protective mother wasn’t looking," Izanami said, sighing fondly at the memories.

Naruto couldn't help but stare at his great-grandmother in disbelief. It was hard imagining her as a young girl acting so fangirlishly after his great-grandfather. It seemed so... mean...some how. Kind of scary too.

"How did you two get together?" Naruto asked. Izanami seemed to snap out of her daze of memories and turned back to Naruto.

"That's a story for a later time. No, what we should discuss are the prospective ladies who submitted their applications for a date with you," Izanami said, and she gripped Naruto's arm with surprising strength for someone her age and practically dragged Naruto into a room that looked like it was used for important meetings. The meeting room had a long table with papers spread out on it, and it was clear that his great-grandmother had been hoping she’d be able to discuss things with him.

"What does she mean they submitted applications?" Sasuke asked, even more confused than Naruto since he couldn't see what was going on and could only hear the conversations taking place.

"What do you mean they submitted applications?" Naruto asked out loud for Sasuke. Izanami nodded and then waved a hand toward the papers spread across the table.

"Of course! I had prepared for the possibility that girls would take an interest in you about a week or so ago. You're a handsome young man, nearing your seventeenth birthday, a ninja, and related to the daimyo. It is only natural that women will begin to flock to you. As former head of the Sen-san Fan Club, I knew that it's much easier to go through a screening process to narrow down the candidates to make sure that these interested girls should fill out a simple questionnaire, leave a picture for you to assess their looks, and rule out the girls who would not make a good wife. For those who you would like to talk to, you can call them back as they have left their contact information. For those who are unsatisfactory, a letter can be sent to their place of residence in order to let them know of your disinterest, along with a threat of a restraining order in case they believe they ought to make a foolish attempt to try and contact you after rejections."

Izanami spoke so fast that she finally decided to pause to let Naruto take in all the information. Naruto, for his part, just stared open mouthed at her. She made the entire thing sound like a business transaction.

"I think your really sweet great-grandmother got replaced with a rabid fan girl. She already mentioned these girls as being a possibility for your wife," Sasuke said, sounding slightly mortified.

"What are you talking about? Wife? What wife?" Naruto screeched. Izanami didn't seem at all taken back from Naruto's reaction and calmly re-explained that she had made the girls fill out some details about themselves in order for him to narrow down who he may want to take as his wife.

"The more information you have the better, and you can always call the candidates back for one-on-one dates in order to see if there is a spark between the two of you," Izanami said happily. Naruto could merely stare at her.

"Mom, why don't you go and make up some more of those forms and perhaps see if you can narrow down the question choices. Perhaps throw in an essay question in order to help Naruto get a broader picture about the girls and their overall character?" Kyohaku suggested.

"Yes, that sounds like a great idea! I'll let you two go over the forms. I also want to add some questions about Naruto. I think the girls ought to answer something about him if they want to date him. If they don’t know anything about him, then why are they going after him? Probably just for his good looks and status. A few of the girls thought he was the grandson of the current daimyo instead of his great nephew. They didn't realize that he was Sen-san's great-grandson either. On second thought, perhaps I shall make up a biography and character description about Naruto and send it to all the locals. That way we can have a better selection of girls. Yes, I'll do that," Izanami said, and she sauntered out of the room to start her plans in motion. Naruto gaped after her.

Kyohaku turned toward Naruto grinning.

"I thought you might enjoy this, but I can tell you’re quite baffled. Once I realized you didn’t want to deal with any of this, I thought we'd never get rid of her," she said kindly, looking through the door where her mother just exited. Kyohaku chuckled to herself as she began to stack up all the papers across the table and put them in a pile. "We can tell her you were not interested in any of these girls, and that you have very high standards," Kyohaku said.

"Um, I'm confused," Naruto said. Kyohaku laughed.

"You must understand where my Mother is coming from. Back during your great-grandmother's time, dating was a bit different, especially dating for someone in an upper class situation such as the daimyo. Her mother-in-law, my grandmother, made each girl go through a screening process in order to even be allowed to look your great-grandfather's way, let alone to date him. My Mother tried the same thing with my suitors, but as you know, I found my own love," Kyohaku said sadly. Naruto nodded, aware that she'd had a secret relationship with Hatake Sakumo, his grandfather, and Kakashi's father.

"I don't want all this," Naruto said, looking forlornly at the stack of papers on the table. Kyohaku nodded and sat down in one of the chairs around the table and encouraged Naruto to sit as well.

"I had a feeling you probably wouldn't, but it was a good way of getting the girls to go away. We weren't sure if you were going to stop by today, and I had a feeling those girls would have camped out around the house until you showed up. Plus, it has gotten your great-grandmother extremely energized. She's always liked these kinds of things. I'll let her down gently that you'd rather find someone that you have a spark with rather then this old fashioned screening process. It's all a bit much, isn't it?" Kyohaku asked. Naruto nodded.

"Girls can be scary," Sasuke muttered, and he shuddered, remembering the girl Karin from Sound and her persistence. Naruto frowned, noting Sasuke's shudder, and wondered what had caused that reaction.

"And," Kyohaku started, a little more gently, "perhaps you don't want to go through the process of looking through profiles of women. Perhaps men would be more fitting for you?"

"What?" Naruto asked, a bit surprised at what she was implying.

"I know you haven't talked about it much, but the death of your friend, Sasuke, seemed to hit you pretty hard. And well, it just seemed that you acted even more emotionally upset over his death than someone would, even for their best friend, as though he meant more to you than just a friend," Kyohaku said slowly, gauging Naruto's reactions.

"Damn. She's good," Sasuke said, impressed. Naruto blushed. Kyohaku smiled softly at her grandson, his blush telling her everything.

"I suspected as much. The way you talk when you told past experiences you had with him, the look you get in your eyes..." Kyohaku trailed off. "I'm even more sorry now for your loss. He clearly meant a lot to you."

"I don't feel like he's really gone. He's still with me," Naruto said, allowing a grin to spread across his face. He pressed a hand over his heart.

"Naruto, if-"

"Naruto! There you are!"

Both Naruto and Kyohaku turned around to see Sen-san practically skip into the room. He came over and clapped Naruto on the back.

"I ran into my beloved Izanami who was acting like a young school girl. She explained to me the situation about all the fan girls. She’s in her element with them, and it’s always fun to watch her work. I had also wondered what all that noise was at the front door this morning. I’m glad I finally got an explanation," Sen-san said. "However, it made me realize something that Naruto and I have yet to talk about. Naruto, I think we need to have a man-to-man chat."

"Uh-" Naruto turned to look at his grandmother. She smiled at him gently.

"We'll finish our talk later," she said quietly, getting up from her chair. Sen-san looked at her and frowned.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," Sen-san said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it. I think it's best for Naruto and you to get your conversation out of the way first," Kyohaku said with an air of wisdom in her words. As she walked past her father, she stopped in the doorway and turned slightly to Naruto, giving him an amused though somehow sorrowful expression as she left. Naruto turned toward Sen-san, wondering what the man-to-man talk was going to be about.

"No. He's not seriously going to-" Sasuke began, as realization clicked in his brain.

"I'm sure at your age, you have a lot of questions about women. And I know that while you have had ninja leaders to help you with certain aspects of your future, you've never had a father figure to explain a few things to you," Sen-san began. Naruto opened his mouth slightly, as he too finally had a feeling where this conversation was going. He decided to try and change the subject.

"No – no. I mean, yes, I have had people talk to me, and, well, you don't need to-" Naruto tried to get out, but Sen-san didn't seemed deterred.

"Naruto, it's like this," Sen-san said, looking very serious. "You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much..."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Naruto left his family's house about an hour or so later, feeling slightly traumatized.

"That was..." Sasuke trailed off, slightly traumatized himself.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "Do you think he would have stopped talking to me about sex if I'd told him I wasn't a virgin?" Naruto asked. Sasuke shook his head.

"He seemed determined to make sure you were well informed," Sasuke said.

"Yeah, but did he have to go into detail? I thought he was just gonna, you know, explain the basics. I didn't need blow by blow details about different positions," Naruto said, stopping to shudder at the idea of his great-grandparents in those positions.

"Let's...let's think about something else," Sasuke suggested, shuddering as well. "I don't think I ever told you exactly how I killed off Orochimaru. There's lots of blood and fighting in it," Sasuke said.

"Yes, good. Blood, fighting. That sounds great!" Naruto said, as Sasuke began to explain to Naruto his master plan, their minds finally off of the terrifying images that Sen-san had provided them with.

When Sasuke had finished his story, they both lapsed into silence. Both Sasuke's and Naruto's minds wandered to different things.

Sasuke's mind had wandered to that morning when he’d been able to touch Naruto for the first time in what felt like years, wondering how he could get to feel Naruto again.

Naruto was still thinking about what his grandmother had been talking to him about before Sen-san had interrupted. After seeing his mortified look after his conversation with his great-grandfather, Kyohaku had said that they should finish their talk later. Even so, from what they had talked about briefly it seemed she didn't mind if he had fallen for Sasuke, which was a good thing, but he got a vibe from both of his great-grandparents that they would expect him to settle down and marry a woman. And what would happen if he couldn't get a body for Sasuke? Would they be stuck waking up every morning with different appearances? He relayed his questions to Sasuke.

"Well, if you do have to marry," Sasuke said, sounding bitter, "you get to be the one to explain to the girl that you share your body with me, and that you only get it while you're 'awake,' and that when you’re asleep I take over. The girl will have to be okay with that."

"You're being stupid. I'm not marrying any girl, and I'm sure we'll figure out a way to get your body back," Naruto said.

"You were the one wondering about the situation," Sasuke pointed out.

"Yeah...true..." Naruto grumbled, feeling awkward about the whole situation. He really didn’t like all the things his family seemed to expect from him. If they weren’t around, there’d be no one he’d have to please. He shook his head angrily at himself, yelling at his stupidity for thinking that it was easier without them. He had a family, and he wouldn’t give them up for the world.

Naruto looked in front of him, surprised to see that he had walked to the Hokage office without realizing it, his feet on autopilot. He hadn't been paying attention to where he'd been going. "Hey! Tsunade-baa-chan is probably done her meeting by now. Let's go see her! She might have a way to get you out of my body," Naruto said as he excitedly ran up the steps.

Sasuke just brooded. He'd told Naruto he didn't want to leave Naruto's body, especially now that there was a chance his great-grandparents would try to persuade Naruto to take a wife. Sasuke would be able to stay with Naruto all the time if they shared a body, and no one need to know that he was really there. He'd be able to have Naruto, and Naruto would be able to save face by not really having an affair if he had a wife. It wouldn't really be cheating then since Sasuke was a part of Naruto. Sasuke lived inside of Naruto, and they'd be like life mates.

No, that sounded weird. Mates had the connotation that made it sound like they could reproduce. Then again, if he were in Naruto's body, he'd technically be reproducing with Naruto's genes. So perhaps calling their relationship life mates wasn't a bad title after all.

Sasuke thought fast. If Naruto went to the Hokage now, and succeeded in persuading her that Naruto and he shared the same body, she might have a solution in extracting him from Naruto. Unless, of course, Sasuke made sure that Tsunade didn't believe Naruto. Sasuke would just need to make Naruto look a little crazy, that was all. Then Tsunade wouldn’t bother trying to take Sasuke away from Naruto. There was no denying that Naruto would be pissed with him, but he would apologize later. It was for the best after all. Sasuke was sure of it.


Next Chapter: Keeping Secrets or Telling Them?


Sorry, I couldn’t resist the Tadaima and Okaerinasai bit. It’s basically like saying “I’m home” and “welcome home.” I can just see Naruto yelling “Tadaima” because it’s almost like saying “Ta da!”

I know it’s been a while, but I do have a good reason for not updating! I’ve been waiting for the manga to reveal certain information, but it hasn’t. I decided to just screw the manga and do my own thing. Now that I’ve made up my mind about that, reviews really do motivate me. Hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Just as an FYI, I have posted a oneshot called “Lacking” on my FanFiction dot Net profile if you’re interested. Also, my fic “Mine” is almost completed, and “The Agreement” is updated every Tuesday and Saturday.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you thought! ~ Jelp