Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Colourless Vanity	By : Cepheus Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1746 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Approach
- 2-Offer
- 3-Understand
- 4-Departure
- 5-Meeting
- 6-Truth
- 7-Control
- 8-Burning
- 9-Observing
- 10-Forming
- 11-Forcing
- 12-Portraying
- 13-Organizing
- 14-Honing
- 15-Entering
- 16-Bruising
- 17-Admitting
- 5
- 6
- 7
Edited: 11/09/2014
Cepheus: chapter six already! thank you to all reviewers, both logged-in and anonymous, your feedback is important!
                                                                          …–…–…–…–…–…–…
“Talking”
‘Thinking’
–Flashbacks, memories, dreams–
                                                                          …–…–…–…–…–…–…
                                                                          Colourless Vanity
                                                                          Chapter 06: Truth
Naruto’s curiosity had been building up for a while already, but he hadn’t expected to meet familiar faces when the three ANBU finally unmasked themselves.
Taken by surprise, he couldn’t help but open and close his mouth like a fish, trying to think of something to say.
One of the three was Iruka.
Momentarily forgetting about the other two, who were behind him, Naruto’s eyes were glued to Iruka’s face, eyes meeting the calm, gentle ones of his once academy teacher. He could not believe it.
It was just… not possible.
Of all shinobi Naruto might have considered for ANBU position, Iruka wasn’t just the last –he was not even on that list! He had always seemed… not weak, because Iruka possessed a strength not even certain Jounin could boast, but he had seemed simple, average.
Compared to people like Kakashi, or even Ebisu, who were both Jounin, Iruka had looked like a low Chuunin, nothing else.
That he could hide the skills of an ANBU under such a mask was a shock. Naruto thought back to all the times that he had practiced his stealth, pranking people and managing to outrun even full-fledged Jounin. Nobody else could have caught him when he was on a roll, and yet Iruka had always found him.
Iruka had been an ANBU, and now he was back.
After the first wave of surprise, what Naruto felt next was anger.
Why hadn’t Iruka told him?
But he knew how stupid that thought was. ANBU members could not reveal their faces and identities outside their ranks, and yet –he still felt betrayed. There was no reason for him to be, but… he had trusted Iruka deeply for so long. Iruka had been at his side, believing in him, coaching him forwards and helping him, and for all this time he had not known such a big thing about his teacher.
Iruka had accepted him for who he was, and… he had been the first person, aside for the Third, that Naruto had trusted.
“I… Iruka–sensei…” he choked out, unable to say anything else, looking down at his clenched fists and avoiding to stare at his ex-teacher.
Iruka’s lips turned into a thin line and he leaned forwards, pressing both hands on the teen’s shoulders, nudging him until Naruto finally relented and looked up. He found himself looking into brown eyes.
“I know you are not dense,” Iruka’s voice cut through him just like in the past, blunt but honest. “You know I wouldn’t have been able to tell you, and that I wouldn’t have wanted to hurt you even then. I had to keep my identity hidden, and now you know how it feels to be in your friends’ places. They will never be allowed to know unless they are tried as ANBU. If it had been safe to tell you, please believe me, I would have”.
Naruto felt the strength of Iruka’s hands on his shoulders, saw the tension in his jaw that he was so familiar with, and realised that Iruka was actually worried, and possibly anxious about his reaction to this discovery.
The anger he felt loosened and disappeared, and he took a deep breath.
“I… I know, Iruka-sensei,” he finally stated, not looking away from the man’s face.
This did not really change anything. Iruka still cared for him. This did not make his actions in the past any different, or meaningless. It was still the same Iruka, only he was also way stronger and way cooler than before.
No secret could really ruin the trust that they shared, and knowing now that they shared such a secret made Naruto feel better.
“So… you’re this strong, huh?” Naruto let out a small, unsure laugh, then he smiled. “Had I known, I wouldn’t have tested you so much in the academy, though it was funny to run and know you would be the only one who could follow me”.
Relieved that Naruto was taking it this well, Iruka smirked and tapped him gently on top of his head, reminder of the hits he used to dispense during their academy days. “You still have to give me respect, you brat,” he told Naruto. “I’m still older than you and can out-prank you if needs be”.
Naruto snorted, but conceded. After this initial shock, he knew he would not care much about who else was underneath the other two masks.
He turned around, and blinked at the second shinobi. He knew that face. He had met this person more than once in the past, when he had started pranking all higher shinobi around the Hokage tower.
He was a Jounin who worked directly under the Hokage, staying in the corners and keeping a low profile, and at first Naruto had taken insult in that, since he wanted so much to be noticed and here a Jounin was trying to do the opposite.
He had been really naïve, but during his first and only prank to him, Naruto had seen both the scar on his face and his eyes. Naruto saw similar eyes looking at him every morning from his mirror, and he had instantly stopped the prank, retreating and leaving him be. His previous dislike gone, he made a point of trying to look for him every time he went to see Tsunade, and the rare times they happened to see each other, he would offer him a smile.
Eyes seeking every corner, trying to find a man with his same expression.
He didn’t even know his name.
“Err… I…” Naruto searched for words, embarrassed for the prank he had pulled on the man, and unsure if he had understood his change of attitude. Would he still be holding a grudge?
The man smiled kindly at him, and Naruto relaxed. He wasn’t sure if that smile meant he was forgiven for his prank, or that the older shinobi understood his smiles, but… either way, they were ok.
“My name is Raidou,” the ANBU introduced himself quietly.
Naruto smiled brightly at him, thankful.
There was only one left, and Naruto was sure he wouldn’t be as much of a shock as Iruka and the other one, Raidou, had been; he just had to see who his future team captain would be.
Turning to his left and glancing up, for a moment Naruto stared, unable to comprehend what he was seeing; black eyes were staring at him almost emotionlessly, under charcoal black hair that looked as smooth as silk, a situation comically identical to that small hotel room far away from Konoha.
Same eyes. Same face.
Naruto blinked.
This was… this was…
Yelping in shock, Naruto backed away and almost stumbled over the nearby chair, trying to put as much distance as he could between himself and the person standing there.
Itachi.
That was… Itachi!
The same Itachi who had tried to capture him to harness the Kyuubi.
The same Itachi who had hurt Sasuke so much, making him attempt to betray Konoha.
The same Itachi who had killed his whole family in a single night…
“You!” Naruto’s voice was trembling with repressed emotions as he turned towards Hyoo, then to Iruka and Raidou, expecting them to be as shocked as he was, but finding that none of them was alert nor seemed surprised.
“Naruto–” Hyoo tried to calm him down, but to no avail.
Naruto was trembling, but it wasn’t just fear, even though he was afraid.
Of all the people, not him.
Not Itachi.
He was also pretty angry –angrier than just moments before, angrier than he thought it possible. He had no idea why Itachi was here, but all he knew about the man was that he had hurt Sasuke, and caused him to go down on the path of revenge, almost making him defect just for the chance to grow strong enough to kill him.
He’d met Itachi only a handful of times, but it was enough to know he was a dangerous, emotionless person, and if it hadn’t been for Jiraiya at that time, Naruto and Sasuke both would have been gone, in very different ways.
And then there was betrayal –it was sharp and it stung, and Naruto found himself breathless.
Why was Itachi with the ANBU? They couldn’t just spring up a stupid lie to cover up his presence there, not when he was an S-class missing-nin who had joined Akatsuki and wanted to drag Kyuubi out of his protesting body.
Was that how Itachi was able to infiltrate Konoha without getting found out until it was too late? had Naruto been betrayed by those he thought would welcome him?
He tensed up, ready to bolt.
“What the hell is this?!” he screamed, not looking away from Itachi in fear he would attack. “Some sort of sick joke? He’s a missing-nin! How can he be here without you taking him down? And he’s supposed to be my captain? Were you…” he choked up. ‘Were you trying to sell me to Akatsuki?’ but he could not manage to say that out loud.
Hyoo was split between using a steely, commanding voice or trying to reason with Naruto, and the second option won out. This was not the time to scary Naruto further away, and there was so much to say about it that he felt weary, but it had to be done.
“Naruto, for the little time you’ve known me, do you think you can willingly put your wariness to the side, sit down, and allow me to explain?”
“Explain?! He tried to kill me! He’s a murder!” Naruto pointed towards Itachi, whose eyes darkened a bit at those words.
Despite his shock, Naruto couldn’t help but notice the way Itachi’s mouth turned downwards at his words, even though the rest of his face remained carefully blank. He was not defending himself, as he shouldn’t, but there were new wrinkles around his eyes that Naruto had never been able to seen this close. He looked older, and almost… pained.
Part of Naruto didn’t want to care –he shouldn’t, since this man was his best friend’s torturer– but he was still split between trusting Hyoo on this, despite appearances, and refusing to listen.
He glanced at Hyoo, then at Itachi, and then he looked at Iruka.
Even if he did not know Hyoo much, he had respect for the man, but the trust he’d built up to this point was strongest when it was Iruka. Even if he had kept this secret from him, Iruka was the person Naruto trusted the most, so he would follow his heart this time rather than his brain (wasn’t that common with him anyway?) and see what Iruka would do.
Iruka returned his stare calmly, knowing Naruto was putting all his trust on him first and foremost, and nodded slightly. “Please trust me, if you cannot yet trust your commander,” he said seriously.
Naruto hesitated, but only for a moment, then nodded and warily sat down, looking at Hyoo. “Then explain,” he demanded, gritting his teeth.
In the silence that followed, surprisingly enough it was Itachi who spoke up, keeping his tone even.
“I am not here to hurt you, Naruto-kun,” he stated. Naruto turned to stare at him. he had never been this close to Itachi without fighting, and he was still edgy and wary, but he could admire his control still, especially considering he was only five years older than Naruto himself.
He had to sneer at his words, though. “I’d hope,” he muttered, not really believing him, but he had promised Iruka that he would listen, so he closed his mouth.
Words, he found it hard to trust. People, especially shinobi, were masters of using words to get what they wanted. Words could hurt, or could offer false reassurance, deceiving like Kabuto’s or confusing and hiding double meanings, like Kakashi-sensei’s. They could be heartfelt like Sandaime’s speeches, but also hide away the truth.
So, words could not be truly trusted.
What Naruto could trust were eyes. A gaze could be emotionless, or blank, and still it could be more honest than words. He had seen his fair share of hatred in his life, but he had also seen a range of other emotions –trust, despair, pain, distrust, and warmth. From friends, from enemies, from strangers on the street.
Naruto might not be the smartest, but one thing he was good at was observing people, and eyes could hide and evade, but they did not lie.
He looked into Itachi’s eyes, challenging the threat of the Sharingan, and Itachi returned the gaze without moving.
After seconds ticking by, and the five in the room sharing the same expectant silence, Naruto broke the gaze and turned to look at Hyoo. “I’m listening” he said quietly, determination tightening his jaw.
He did not turn to look at Itachi anymore. He was afraid of what would happen if he did, and it had nothing to do with the Sharingan.
“Naruto,” Hyoo leaned forwards, reminding him of Tsunade. “What I am about to tell you has been a secret for the past six years. It was only known by us ANBU, and by the former Hokage, Sandaime-sama. We have been ordered not to speak of it ever again, and we have kept our word even as Tsunade-sama was appointed the new Kage. Now, things have changed”.
Naruto shifted uneasily, feeling Itachi’s stare still on him.
“Why?” he asked. “What could be so important that Jiji didn’t want anybody to know? And why are you willing to tell it to me now?”
“We are going to tell you because you are going to be part of the ANBU, and will have to work with Itachi, and it is your right to know if you want to trust your captain,” Hyoo replied quietly. “There were things I was not happy to keep secret, and this was one of those, but the Hokage outranked me, and I had to obey. Now that Sandaime is not with us anymore, I am allowed to consider the matter and decide what is best –and my decision was to reveal everything to Tsunade and make a few changes to the specifications of the secret”.
Naruto’s fingers twitched at his sides. “So what is it about? Why is a missing-nin who has betrayed Konoha welcomed back into the ANBU like nothing’s wrong?”
Hyoo and Itachi share a look.
“Because Itachi has not betrayed Konoha,” he stated carefully. “He was under an S-class mission as undercover agent inside the Akatsuki organization”.
Naruto swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry.
That was absolutely unexpected.
He could have digested almost anything else, honestly. There were missing-nin who were integrated back into their village if they proved to be useful and they repented from having defected, even though that depended on the ninja and on the Kage. There were missing-nin who found other villages to plead allegiance to.
There were times when even old enemies worked on the same side to accomplish a goal, or defeat a common threat.
Naruto knew this. He had expected to hear that Itachi was willing to work with Konoha for some unknown reason, and even if he trusted Iruka, he would have expected Hyoodoku to say Itachi would be paid with Naruto’s demon, too.
He would have accepted all of these motives, even if he did not agree with them, but…
This was too much.
“What–” his voice croaked, and he shut up instantly.
“Naruto-kun,” Itachi spoke up again, and Naruto finally turned around to look at him again. “What Hyoo-taichou says is the truth. I have been on a long-term mission, albeit one I thought would not end until my death,” he did not seem touched by this revelation, but Hyoo’s muscles tightened up instantly, and even Naruto took notice of this reaction. “Instead I have been recalled back, renouncing to my mission to work as an ANBU”.
Naruto swallowed, then finding himself unable to look at any of the four shinobi surrounding him, he looked down at his tightly clenched fists.
‘What he fuck?’
                                                                          …–…–…–…
The infamous Dan café, although not a fancy place, was one of the biggest teahouses of Konoha.
It usually had a fair amount of customers throughout the day, ranging from shinobi to normal villagers, because the prices were good and it was in a good position close to the main plaza. There were tables and chairs on the outside if one wanted to enjoy some fresh air, and it even had a small terrace on the first floor for those who could pay for it.
It was, all in all, a very nice place.
The most important thing about this teahouse, though, was the assortment of various sweets that could be ordered together with the many teas on the menu, and one of those sweets was dango.
A young man on his twenties with cropped dark hair was standing a couple feet away from the front door of said teahouse, fidgeting and looking increasingly hesitant, even attracting the attention of more than a few passers-by.
He was staring at a woman sprawled at one of the outside tables, unable to get closer but unable to leave and was stuck observing as she slowly ate a plate of dango while sipping a cup of green tea, scalding hot.
At the same time, the woman was scratching the table’s surface with a senbon, too busy defacing the property to pay much attention to anything else.
Finally gathering enough courage to step forwards, the young man approached the table, and was offered a good view of what the woman was carving. It was a snake, or at least what looked like a snake –the woman wasn’t known for her artistic abilities. It was more like a worm with a long tongue, but that was not important.
He gulped down nervously before tapping her shoulder with a trembling finger, wishing that someone else had been chosen for such a suicidal mission.
“Anko-san…?”
In a fraction of a second, the senbon was pointed at his neck, only an inch away from piercing the skin, and he found his heart had faltered and he stopped breathing, meeting Anko’s eyes with his wide, fearful ones.
So much for being a trained shinobi, honestly –she was still faster, stronger, and the hell… way moodier than he would ever be.
“Oh, Takato–san!” Anko’s threatening expression turned into a smile. She removed the senbon and promptly ignored him again.
“A… Anko-san… are you… aren’t you forgetting something…?”
He was close enough that he could speak out loud without anybody listening on, and there were no other customers outside, so he dared.
“The… the newbie was supposed to arrive today so… Hyoo-taichou asked for you… and…”
The innocent, fake expression washed away from Anko’s face, replaced by absolute glee. Her smile twisted into an evil green, and Takato inwardly cowered. “Oh? Is it that time already? Ah, time sure flies by when you enjoy some good snacks…”
“Ah…”
She stood up abruptly, and with a wide smile she picked up the lone dango left in her plate and happily skipped down the street, presumably to head to the headquarters, if Takato was lucky.
He was left staring at her retreating back, grateful that he had been left unharmed and feeling bad for the poor trainee. “Shit… Hyoo-taichou, was that even a good choice? That trainee is gonna get his ass handed to him from that psycho…”
As he was taking a long, calming breath, a waiter from the teahouse exited, only to find the customer gone. “Hey… where did that girl go?” he inquired, glancing around. “Wait, what did she do to the table?!”
Takato felt a shiver of dread when the waiter turned to look at him. “You were talking to her, weren’t you? Is it your fault she’s gone? She did not pay for her tea, and she ate three plates of dango, not to mention the ruined table!”
“Wait, I have nothing to do with–”
“Nonsense. You’re going to pay for the damage and for the food she inhaled, and don’t you dare try to run!”
Quick as a monkey, the waiter grabbed his arm and tugged him towards the café.
Takato whimpered, unable to get free.
‘Damn you! Anko-san!’ he cried silently, cursing at her as he was pushed inside the teahouse.
                                                                          …–…–…–…
“How could it have been a mission?” Naruto challenged, grimacing. “He… what he did to his… and then Akatsuki…”
He just could not believe it this easily.
He could not wrap his mind around it.
He had always known that Sasuke’s past had been troubled. He had learned the details only later, chewed bites of the truth that he had ripped from Sasuke’s lips one by one until he ha more or less a bigger view of it.
Itachi had killed his whole clan in a single night, executing not just the shinobi the Uchiha were so proud of, but all the district, including retired shinobi, those Uchiha members who were simply villagers, and even the kids, a lot of them younger than Sasuke and Naruto had been that time.
Then, he had murdered his own parents in front of Sasuke, forced him to relieve their deaths by using his Sharingan, and had left the village.
After that, Jiraiya had filled in with some information, how Itachi had been contacted by the Akatsuki and asked to join, and the rest was history.
What part of that was fake? How could it be even fake?
And even worse –what if it was all true, but it had been allowed by the Hokage? Jiji wouldn’t do that, not Sandaime, Naruto couldn’t even believe that, but then…?
Hyoo sighed. “Itachi was under strict orders when he abandoned the village. He joined Akatsuki of his own will to spy on them and keep an eye on the situation brewing, and did it knowing he might not come back, ever. There are a lot of things that cannot be spoken out loud, not even now, but what you will hear now is as much truth as we are allowed to share without repercussions”.
Naruto felt his head spin dangerously.
This was –unbelievable.
“Then what about… what about his family? His clan?” he asked, urgent and disbelieving. In his mind he could only see Sasuke’s face twisted in anger, hatred and despair. He had spent these past years growing stronger in order to take revenge on his older brother, everything he had done with the intent to defeat him and then execute him for his crimes.
How could that have been just a mission?
How could Itachi still be a Konoha ninja if he had done that?
Hyoo sighed, and with one glance at Itachi, he allowed the other shinobi to talk for himself.
Unfortunately there were a few details that he could not divulge now, and not with Naruto. There were darker things brewing underneath the surface, darker truths that should not be spoken freely, of Itachi’s actions, of his mission, of the layers of deceit he had to spin in order to keep himself safe.
But all that he could safely reveal would be told, and he trusted Itachi to know what to keep for himself and what to tell Naruto.
Maybe with a few things out in the open, they could start the counteroffensive and finally get rid of the real threat.
“You are not mistaken,” Itachi stated, his voice so quiet Naruto had to strain his ears to hear him. “I did kill the entirety of the Uchiha clan with my own hands”.
Then the words registered in his brain and he felt suddenly very cold.
He had just admitted to the massacre, just like it was supposed to be, so then… why was he free? Why was he welcomed back into the ANBU just like that, rather than be captured and sentenced?
“Then why…” Naruto shook his head. He was feeling nauseous. “I don’t understand”.
Itachi did not seem to mind Naruto’s open disgust, but his eyes were narrowed and dark, and Naruto felt almost guilty, even though he chided himself for feeling like that.
“All I ask is that you listen until I’m done before you decide whether I’m saying the truth or not, Naruto-kun. You will be allowed to ask anything you wish, should you want to. But please listen to my story. You will not be forced to join my team unless you wish so, I promise”.
Naruto swallowed. He had already promised he would listen, even if it sounded completely out of this world, and he did not go back on his word, even for things like these. He nodded warily.
He trusted Iruka, and Iruka wanted him to listen. He could trust Hyoo with this because he didn’t seem the kind to lie, and he could trust Raidou, because they had the same eyes.
His hands slowly relaxed, and stopped trembling. “Well then,” he said, eyes flashing with determination and defiance. “I’m listening”.
Itachi’s lips twitched in what looked like the ghost of a smile before they returned to their previous frown, and despite all his feelings against it, Naruto had to at least admit that Itachi looked tired.
“You should be aware by now that the Uchiha clan has always been rather important within the village. They were respected and even loved, because they were just and equal… at first. The Uchiha were also the first Police force in Konoha, a group that kept under control criminality inside our village and made sure civilians were protected. ANBU could only do so much, or at least that was the clan council’s opinion on the situation. For a long while, things flourished”.
Naruto had no trouble picturing this. With ANBU and an entire clan devoted to protecting the village, he could see why Konoha had been hailed as one of the safest hidden villages.
“Unfortunately things changed, and they did so pretty quickly. The respect they received quickly twisted in worship, and the Uchiha thrived on being idolized.” There was a scathing tone in Itachi’s voice that made it clear he did not agree with the village on that. “The truth was darker. The Uchiha clan was shallow, and full of lies. It was built on appearance alone, and could be easily taken down. I know this because I was part of it”.
Naruto was listening in rapture. Unconsciously he found himself analysing Itachi’s tone, his voice more expressive than Naruto had ever heard it. There was a bitter edge to his words, and even if Naruto were to put on the side his disbelief, accepting that Itachi was not the real culprit of the Uchiha massacre, one thing was still very clear –Itachi did not like the Uchiha clan.
“My family was nothing but an illusion created to please the village,” Itachi continued, his eyes no longer staring at the present, lost in a sticky net of memories, and Naruto found himself unwillingly drawn to the story. “You didn’t need to seek too deep to find the rotten core, it was just past the surface. The Uchiha wanted to be the best, even if that meant hiding and rigging the odds to their favour. All my own actions had to exist to bring attention to the clan, and they were blessed by my above average skills, so much that I became a puppet to parade around. I was not allowed to have a normal life, as I was the genius they needed so much”.
Had Itachi joined the ANBU back then as a way to distance himself from his family? Or did he do it because he had to keep feeding his clan’s need for excellency? Either way, Naruto had to wonder if it had been his own desire or not, and with a start, he realised their situations were not entirely different. He had joined the ANBU to distance himself from the village and learn to care for it, and Itachi maybe had joined the ANBU to take a breather from his obsessive family.
Maybe the ANBU had wanted to offer Itachi a chance to be less of a perfect genius and more of a normal ninja, just like they had offered Naruto a chance to be just like everybody else.
Well, that was only if Itachi was telling the truth.
Being a genius, loved and worshipped, having to face high demands from his own family… Naruto couldn’t personally relate, as he had always been treated like he was an inferior to others, but he had seen it with Sasuke, the way the village had shoved on his shoulders all the expectations they’d had for the rest of the clan.
In a way, it was no better than being hated like Naruto had been.
Hatred or worship, the ending result was the same –you were not seen for who you were, and you were left alone.
“When everybody around you look at you like you are on a pedestal, and can do no wrong… it puts pressure on you that you don’t even know you have until it’s choking you and you cannot breathe. It makes you feel tired, on edge, and most of all… alone”.
Sasuke’s words at the Valley of End echoed in his mind, and it was far too easy to associate them to Itachi just as well.
Despite all those differences, it looked like they were similar than he thought. Or maybe he was buying into Itachi’s story, maybe he was looking too much into it. Maybe he was too gullible.
The pain flickering into Itachi’s eyes was just his imagination.
He did not want to try and understand someone’s pain when he wasn’t even sure it was real.
“The news that there was a possible traitor within the Uchiha family started not long after I joined the ANBU,” Itachi’s voice dropped a few degrees, shaking Naruto out of his thoughts. “The Head Council had found proof that someone was sharing important information with an outsider”.
‘A traitor…?’
Naruto swallowed. There were many things Itachi was hiding, and he had a feeling that there were a lot of things Itachi was not telling him still, but he could understand the unwillingness to share so many details about his past like that.
Still, could it be so bad to believe him? Naruto did not want to trust so easily, not a person who had tried to kill him a couple times, but this Itachi was different from Akatsuki Itachi.
This Itachi’s voice had inflections and it shook as he spoke. This Itachi’s eyes did not hide his emotions, even if his face was still blank.
Akatsuki Itachi had been indifferent, and cold, and uncaring. Like a different person.
“I was appointed by our Clan Head, my father, to find the traitor and dispose of him. Hyoo-taichou asked me to do the same as an ANBU, and so I started my hunt. It took me a while, because the person had been good at hiding his traces, but I managed to track him down to his last meeting with the outsider shinobi the traitor was selling information to. I had to make sure I had the right person, so I allowed more information to be sold in order to secure knowledge of the traitor’s identity”.
He paused.
“All clues pointed to a particular person who happened to be my best friend, Uchiha Shisui”.
Naruto could not restrain a gasp. Sasuke had explained him the terms and conditions for gaining the Mangekyou Sharingan, and was this how Itachi had gained his own?
“In the end, it was revealed that there was no traitor. Shisui and I were of the same mind, but he knew more than I did about our clan, and he made sure to tell me everything. Unfortunately he had been targeted already, and had lost one of his eyes. Shisui gave me the other, with the stipulation that I would keep it safe and continue investigating on the truth the Uchiha were hiding, then wrote a suicide note and disappeared”.
There, Itachi took a longer pause, closing his eyes. Naruto was keen to emotions, and he felt the waves of distress coming from the other ninja despite his attempts to keep a blank shield.
“What happened then?” he asked, leaning forwards a bit and waiting for Itachi to continue.
He was starting to believe Itachi, if only for the raw display of emotions that even he could not hide.
Had it been anyone else, Naruto wouldn’t have fallen so easily for a convoluted story, but this Itachi was different from the one he’d met before, and more than his words, it was this difference that made his story more believable.
He needed to know what had happened afterwards.
“What I had learned from Shisui troubled me, and made me wary towards my clan. I could not divulge ANBU information to them, and I used this excuse to keep the details of Shisui’s death secret, and my involvement even more so. I had to find proof of what Shisui had told me, so I kept everything under wraps and did not inform Hyoo-taichou about it”.
Hyoo tilted his head a bit, and Naruto had the feeling that Itachi was the only one still considering that a mistake.
If he had to guess, such a situation was too dangerous to trust anyone and Hyoo understood that. Itachi hadn’t seemed like someone who enjoyed following rules, but that Itachi was not the real one, Naruto was starting to learn, so it did not count.
“My decision to keep everything secret made most of the clan distrust me, but if what I had discovered was true, their attitude meant nothing,” Itachi finally continued.
It was like watching a train wreck, Naruto thought and then winced at his choice of words. Itachi did not hate his family, not really, but he did not like his clan.
Naruto could understand.
He liked Konoha, but there were a lot of people there whom he disliked. But he would not place a single person above the rest of the village, unless that person was the Hokage, and even then, he knew perfectly well that the Hokage in the first place would consider the rest of the village before himself (or herself).
“In the end, everything Shisui had said was the truth. While there was no traitor selling Uchiha secrets, the situation was even worse. The Uchiha were getting ready to start a coup d’état against Konoha, disliking the fact that the worship they felt should be given to them was just appearance. The council had been aware of the danger of allowing a clan to have too much power, and that is why they had worked for years against the Uchiha, knowing they had a tendency to act against the Hokage. They had already faced a dangerous situation in the past, which was only later linked to the Uchiha, but it was enough to make the Elders wary”.
If there was anything he was expecting Itachi to say, that was definitely not it.
“What?!” Naruto leaned forwards, eyes wide. “But that’s not possible!”
Itachi’s lips twitched. “I assure you, it is very much possible Naruto-kun. I reported the situation to Hyoo-taichou then, and then to the Hokage and the Council. The Hokage tried to solve the situation but one of the Elders took the matter into his hands, and ordered the extermination of the Uchiha clan”.
Naruto opened his mouth, then closed it again. He had a million things to ask, because he felt like Itachi was only telling him half of the story, but he’d promised he would listen until the end.
Still, saying that he had killed his clan under orders…
How could that even be possible? Could one of those geezers actually do something like this, especially against Sandaime’s intentions? Was the council so powerful? Naruto hadn’t thought that somebody could threaten the Hokage’s power, but it seemed like he had underestimated things, and that was… scary.
“I had no choice,” Itachi’s tone was once again blank, and Naruto wondered if this was the way Itachi tried to avoid facing things that troubled him. It was…unexpected. “I was told that I would not be considered loyal to Konoha if I left another member of my clan alive by the end of the night. So I went and followed my orders. I killed every single Uchiha in the district”.
Naruto shivered. Such words, empty of emotion whatsoever, were more painful than he could stand.
“But I could not kill my own brother. I could kill other innocent kids, people I used to know who had no interest whatsoever in trying to overtake Konoha… but I could not harm my own brother. I left him alive and pleaded with the council for his life, saying he would never, ever betray Konoha. He would grow up to despise me, and what I had done, and he would be loyal,” Itachi’s lips formed a sneer. “I was wrong about that, but at the time the council accepted my words”.
Naruto looked down at his hands, unable to stop himself from shivering.
To be able to kill so many people under strict orders was… something he was not sure he approved. But at the same time, if this had been asked to him, would he have done it? For the good of the village, for the safety of everybody else, would he have killed an entire clan to ensure so many others could be spared?
“There was someone else there with me. I am not in a position to reveal more about his identity, but he was part of the Uchiha clan himself, and the Elders did not know about him. Hyoo-taichou knew, and he interceded with the Elders for my loyalty once I returned. I had compromised myself with Sasuke, and so I had to leave the village. The Elders washed their hands of me, but Sandaime-sama made sure to have proof of everything, should the need arise and should I need to clean my name. I left the village with that shinobi, officially a missing-nin, and I secured his trust while back in the village Hyoo-taichou signed his name on an S-class scroll detailing my new mission –join the organization called Akatsuki and spy it from the inside”.
It took him a moment to notice it, because he had been too focused on the story to care for anything else, but Hyoo was tense, hands clenched into fists, and Naruto wondered why before he spoke up.
“It is my fault,” he stated, his voice so resentful that Naruto was taken aback. “I ordered Itachi to spy on the Akatsuki, because it was the only way he could benefit us with this knowledge, and if it had been left to the Elders, they would have sent him to his death without thinking twice about it. Sandaime-sama was against it, but he was ruled out and Itachi willingly accepted this mission, knowing he might not come back, not if Sandaime-sama ordered absolute silence on the whole mess”.
It was almost a wake-up call for Naruto.
Not only had Itachi followed orders he despised in order to show his loyalty, but he had accepted a mission with no success rate simply to gather information that could be useful, and Hyoo had sent him to that fate, and would probably do that again even if it went against his principles, because it was for their village.
He had called Itachi back as a way to atone to his decision, and because Itachi had suffered enough, but… he would do it again, and they all knew it.
Being a shinobi meant to be willing to sacrifice everything for their village, for the cause.
Naruto was still shaking, and much to his chagrin he found out he could not make it stop; this was exactly what being a shinobi was, and the thought made him afraid. Everyone said ninja had to make sacrifices, but no examples had ever been given, and yet Naruto could now list many of them. Yondaime and Sandaime had given their lives for what they believed into, but Naruto had always felt that as a distant sort of sacrifice. Giving your life away didn’t mean much, since afterwards there would be nothing.
He could do that without even thinking, because it was the way he thought.
But Itachi had sacrificed more than his life.
He had sacrificed other people’s lives, and his future, his career, peace of mind and the village’s trust, and he had done so without regrets, even if he was probably still haunted by his choice.
To know you had to be able to make sacrifices was just abstract knowledge for Naruto, but now he had seen the results of such an action.
“So you… you used Sasuke,” he breathed out, feeling like he was walking on shards of glass. “Because you made him your witness and you saved his life”.
His chest tightened, making it hard to breathe.
“I did,” Itachi agreed, and then said no more.
Naruto did not know what to think.
the only thing he was sure of was that Itachi must have suffered. Even someone like him, strong and detached, had showed so many emotions while retelling this story to him, and Naruto could not begin to imagine the pain that still lingered inside him.
He had killed under strict orders, but the hands holding the weapon were his own, and he had to live with it for years, acting like he was an enemy of the place he’d loved enough to betray his clan for it.
He could have at least left Sasuke alone, without forcing his mind to shape around hatred, but he had gone out of his way to make sure Sasuke would despise him completely, and would never learn, never come close to understanding the truth.
Sasuke could have given up on revenge if Itachi hadn’t forced it so clearly upon him.
Why do it then?
But Naruto already knew the answer to that question. It was painful and he wanted to deny the truth of this statement… but Sasuke’s own eyes had given him an answer already. Many times. Even when Naruto had turned his back to the truth so he would not admit it.
He couldn’t turn away from it anymore now.
He met Itachi’s eyes without cowering. He accepted everything Itachi had told him. About his clan, about the truth, about his ultimate sacrifice, and Sasuke.
He understood, and did not judge him for his actions. He was not entirely guiltless, but he could not be held responsible for the decisions of others, no matter what.
And about Sasuke, well… they both knew the truth.
Sasuke was weak.
It wasn’t about his physical strength, either, because Sasuke was a strong ninja.
But without such a powerful, overwhelming drive, even if it was a negative one, he would have felt the pressure of the village more. Naruto was aware of what it meant to be an Uchiha, even before Itachi had started his speech, and Sasuke had already cracked even having revenge as his motivator. Or even worse, he would have grown to be like the rest of his clan, spoiled by the village’s coddling.
It was harsh to think so, but Naruto’s life hadn’t been easy and he could recognise that he was where he was because of that. Without the need to prove himself every step of the way, Naruto wouldn’t have felt the need to grow and learn more.
And that was exactly why Itachi had decided to do it, other than save Sasuke’s life, like any other kid would have done for their loved sibling.
It was a painful truth though –Itachi still cared for his brother, he had tried to protect him through his sacrifice, but the result wasn’t what he had hoped. If Naruto had felt so much pain to see Sasuke try to defect, how much more had Itachi felt ever since he’d left the village up to now?
And it was the truth, there was no way this could be a convoluted lie. Not like this.
Itachi’s eyes did not lie.
And now he was back because Hyoo had decided to fix his bad decision (even though he would have done it again), and Sasuke’s revenge meant nothing when his older brother was once again part of his village.
Naruto felt another pang in his chest at that thought.
“And… and what about Sasuke? What about him now?” he urged, still looking at Itachi. They both cared for Sasuke, so surely something could be done. “He lived so far for the chance to destroy you, but now… won’t you tell him all this? He could… it could be stopped. Now he would understand!”
Itachi slowly shook his head. Grief stricken by his denial, Naruto broke eye contact and looked down. “This is still an S-class secret, and it is still something only ANBU should know. I would need the Hokage’s stamp of approval, and that of my taichou in order to talk about this with someone outside the ranks. And… there is another thing you are not taking into consideration, Naruto-kun”.
His knuckles were white, and when Naruto noticed it he knew instantly that if Itachi could have done it, he would have told Sasuke in a heartbeat. Then why…
Ah.
It had nothing to do with it being a secret, and everything with Itachi’s love for his little brother. And Naruto understood that far too well, he who had called Sasuke a brother.
As it was for him now, Sasuke had nothing else aside for his revenge. Naruto had taken him back, but what would have happened if he hadn’t? At least now he had a chance to learn to live for something else, but as it was Sasuke had denied himself a family, his own happiness, his friends, all to chase Itachi.
Until he learned to let go, or to accept there were other things he could have even while wanting revenge, Sasuke would not know the truth.
And it was something only Sasuke could do.
Itachi’s lips thinned upwards in a sort of pained smile, knowing the younger teen understood his reasons.
Something cracked in Naruto’s chest at the sight.
“Naruto…” Iruka reached out for him, intruding in the speech by pressing one hand on Naruto’s shoulder.
Naruto blinked, then realised he was crying. He felt a deep sense of dissatisfaction and disappointment in himself, because Sasuke was hurting, but Itachi had been hurting for just as long, if not more, and the fact that he could do nothing to make it better made him feel useless.
“I’m sorry” he choked out, swallowing on his trembling voice and then falling silent, unable to express what he felt.
Sorry because of the sacrifice Itachi had done. Sorry for the pain, sorry for Sasuke, and for Itachi, but sorry without feeling pity for either of them. And then… also sorry because for so long Itachi had been hurting and still he had never cried. There had never been time, hiding among the enemies.
Itachi stared at Naruto, not entirely stunned by the sight as he knew the teen was empathic, but still touched because Naruto was crying for him, and because he understood, and Itachi respected that.
He also had no idea what to do to make Naruto calm down, but thankfully Iruka did.
Kneeling in front of Naruto, the academy teacher smiled warmly at him and ruffled his hair, offering him a tissue and allowing Naruto to angrily wipe his tears away with it, lips thin and pressed against each other.
“What Itachi told you was his past,” Iruka tried to reassure him, even if he was aware that with Sasuke things were not that easy. “Itachi is back in Konoha. He will not leave, he’s here to stay, and… what about you? do you think you could work with him as his subordinate, after having heard the whole story?”
Naruto was almost startled by the question. He had totally forgotten his past wariness about Itachi, so he hurriedly swallowed the knot of sadness and stared up at Itachi, eyes burning with determination.
“Yeah, of course!” he assured, completely serious. “I will be glad to follow your lead from now on”.
                                                                          …–…–…–…
The door was an obstacle between her and her new prey, so without any regard for her commander’s privacy, or the fact that he was clearly having a meeting with someone already, the ANBU pushed the door open so hard it slammed on its hinges and stomped into the office with her head held high and her chest puffed out.
At her entrance, Naruto and the other ANBU turned to look at her, startled by the sudden entrance.
There was a Snake mask on her face, covering it from sight, and there was a pair of neko-te secured tightly around her wrists, of a kind Naruto hadn’t seen before. It was apparently flexible enough that the ANBU could open and close her hands and the weapon followed the movement, and the sharp claws were still sheathed under a thin layer of opaque metal, ready to be extracted whenever needed, just like a cat’s claws.
The neko-te were also tinged in a deep, metallic purple colour, sign that they had been coated in poison for so long that the liquid had stained the metal and the ANBU had left it for the world to see.
The newcomer lifted her hand in a salute, and instantly zeroed on Naruto.
“Poison Claw,” Hyoo greeted, and felt a wave of wariness. She had been almost impossible to find, but at least she was there now, and he hoped he had chosen well for Naruto’s first teacher. “Glad to see you could finally join us… this is–”
“Uzumaki Naruto!” she chanted in glee, and in the blink of an eye she was standing three inches from the shocked teen, staring down at him with her imposing mask. “Hello there, gaki! I will be your teacher from today and for the next thirty days! You will end up wishing you never stepped into the ANBU headquarters in no time at a~ll!”
Feeling like he had been thrown into an icy pool, Naruto backed away from her, wondering why her voice was so… familiar…
Then he registered her words and spun around to look at his team-to-be, noticing that they were all staring at him with a look of… compassion, even pity.
That did not bode well.
“What…”
The female ANBU ripped her mask away with a quick motion, and Naruto’s screech echoed in the room as he pointed his finger at her face.
“You!” he yelled. “The insane kunoichi from the second Chuunin exam!”
Mitarashi Anko, torture specialist, ANBU member, dango lover and sadist, smirked at him and at his pointed finger.
“Well then, glad you remember me! Welcome to hell, Uzumaki Naruto!”
                                                                          …–…–…–…–…–…–…
Cepheus: it might have seen a bit emotional, but I guess we’re all used to seeing tears in shounen manga. I guess it’s more normal to have guys cry and express their emotions in manga than allowing it in real life. (isn’t that a bit messed up)
Anyway, review if you want!
Glossary:
Neko–te – old, ancient Japan-styled weaponry. Sort of upper glove with cat-like claws, came in various shapes. They were mostly used as close-combat weapon, or to climb walls. They were of course not retractile, but considering this is Narutoverse, and it’s Anko we’re talking about, I think it fit better.
Gaki – brat.
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