Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Love Me When I'm Gone	By : KittenCobra Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1971 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (the manga or anime) or any of the characters included within it. I only own the original characters in this story including the main character Utako Mizuke. I do not make any form of profit off of this story.

Chapter List
- 57
- 58
- 59
Author's Note:
Sorry that the last chapter posted twice everyone. Unfortunately, these author tools don't give me the ability to remove or edit any of the previously posted chapters. So, my chapter count is going to be one off.

57. White Knight
It has been a little over a week since I told Temari about my condition. It has been difficult for her to hide the truth from her brother when she sees him pouring out his love each day, but she believes I am doing the right thing. Even if there is only a slight chance of provoking Gaara’s anger, she agrees that protecting the babies is worth avoiding it directly. She continuously turns the puzzle over in her mind, just as Shikamaru does, trying to prepare herself for all the things being a mother will require from her.
Lying in this tube so much is driving me crazy, but Kakashi has been coming in at every opportunity to do training with me when Gaara is otherwise detained. The burn in my mind has lessened, and the illusion is becoming easier to maintain. I believe this is due to my brain continuing to heal. This is great news, as it means I will most likely be able to go to Konoha. If Gaara can simply see me walking under my own power, it will calm some of his fears. Tsunade has successfully convinced Gaara that it would be best for me to travel to Konoha for advanced treatment, and that she recommends moving me as soon as I am stable enough. She has returned to Konoha already and left me in Sakura’s care.
Gaara was angry when I suggested he stay behind, but I managed to convince him to pick people he trusted to travel with me. He cannot deny that he is needed to continue walking the village through rebuilding. I said a silent prayer to the heavens when he told me who he had chosen. He wants Sakura to travel with me for medical support, which Tsunade would have insisted on anyway. He wants Temari to travel with me as his representative from Suna – and because she begged him to go. She didn’t realize he would have sent her anyway. Lastly, he specially requested Naruto for me as a final escort. Tsunade didn’t want things to appear too easy, so she requested having Shikamaru along instead, as the representative from Konoha. Gaara accepted the request, but insisted that Naruto be in the party as well. He doesn’t trust anyone else with my safety more than Naruto.
Naruto arrives today and, if everything goes well in my conversation with him, the plan is to begin my journey to Konoha in two days.
“Good morning, Mizuke,” Sakura says entering the room and beginning the process to release me from my metal tomb, “have you felt movement recently?”
“Yes,” I confirm with a sigh, “they boys are moving almost constantly. It’s impossible to get any sleep with them rolling around like that.”
“Well,” she says with a smile, “that’s not unusual in this stage of development. It’s a good sign. Even though we can’t see them, all their movement and your measurements so far indicate that they’re healthy and on track. You should be proud.” She hoists me up, and I begin putting on my hospital gowns. I’ve discovered it’s easier to put on two gowns to accomplish hiding my girth.
“When is Naruto supposed to show up?” I ask.
“He’s already supposed to be here,” she says with mild annoyance. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? He means well, but Naruto can be… difficult.”
“I’m sure,” I insist.
Everyone is nervous, because I’ve decided to speak with Naruto alone. I don’t expect him to be quiet about it, so Sakura has sent all the staff away again. However, I feel like he’ll take the news better without an audience to criticize him. If everything were to go smoothly, I may not even need Naruto’s help. But if anything goes wrong, I need Naruto’s help in this more than anyone. With Sakura’s help I now lay back down and reposition myself in the tube again. When I’m ready, I can simply lift it off of me from inside.
“Hey, Sakura!” I suddenly hear Naruto shout through the door. “Is it safe to come in, or what?”
“Come in,” I shout back.
As he enters the room I am overwhelmed by the smell of ramen, and I notice the small packages he holds in his arms.
“Hey Mizuke!” he says holding them up to me. “Sorry I’m late, but man I was starving! I figured you must be too, cooped up in here all the time.”
He’s dressed in his standard outfit – the orange jumpsuit and crystal necklace Tsunade gave him. He looks fit and excited to see me. His face carries the standard huge grin I have come to count on from him. He walks over to the tube and looks down at me.
“Uhhh… you can… eat, right?” His huge grin suddenly changes to a look of worry.
“Yes, she can eat,” Sakura confirms, “but while she’s in the machine she will need your help.”
“Oh, that’s no problem!” he shouts with confidence. “It may not be Ichiraku ramen, but this ramen is still worth it!”
“Alright, Naruto,” Sakura sighs, “I’ll let you two catch up.”
She leaves the room and suddenly I have butterflies in my stomach. I hope I know what I’m doing… “Hey Naruto,” I begin, “I have something kinda important that I need to talk to you about.”
“What’s up, Mizuke?” he asks, sitting down in the chair beside me with another grin. “You know you can always talk to me about anything!” He begins digging into his own portion of ramen. From the speed he’s eating at, you’d think he’d been starved for days.
“Do you remember what you said to me back in Konoha?” I ask. “After I hurt Shikamaru for being a jerk? After I threw my emotions at him, and accidentally got you caught in it too?”
He thinks back to the day in question and tries to remember what he said. He remembers the event. He remembers the horrible emotions and his shock at feeling them so clearly, and his body gives a small shudder at the memory. He sets the ramen down beside him with an uneasy stomach. He tries, but he can’t remember what he said afterward. I help him, by replaying my memory of it in his mind.
He throws his arms around me, and chokes back a sob. “I swear I will protect you,” he says fervently. “I don’t really get what’s going on, but I won’t let… you get hurt anymore. Not by Gaara, not by this asshole… not anyone! Believe it.”
“Oh yeah,” he mumbles, looking at me with concern in his eyes. “What’s up, Mizuke? Is some asshole hurting you again?!” He looks suddenly angry and ready to go kick someone’s door down.
“No,” I try to explain. “My problem is a little more… complicated than that. But before I can tell you any more… I need to know if that promise still stands.”
“What the hell kind of question is that?!” he screeches. “Of course I’ll still protect you! I don’t care who it is, or what it is! That’s why I’m here isn’t it? Anything that would dare threaten my friend, I’ll take care of! Believe it!”
“What if…” I hedge. “What if I needed you to protect me AND something else?”
“Like what?” he asks with a laugh.
“Like…” I struggle to find a way to ask without really asking, “Like something that’s very important to me. Something… something more important than my own life.”
He simply stares at me in confusion. “Well,” he mumbles. “Of course, Mizuke. If it’s that important to you… then you can count on me!” He grins ear to ear again.
“Then I need to tell you a secret, Naruto,” I say – staring fervently into his eyes. “And I need you to promise me that you will not leave this room until I give you permission to leave.”
“Uh….. okay,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his head with his hand, “You’re acting really weird Mizuke. Did Grandma Tsunade put you on some kinda weird medicine? Anyway… I promise. I’ll stay right here until you say I can go.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and flip the machine open.
“Holy crap!!!!” he shouts, jumping back from it in surprise.
“A little help here…” I hold out my hand, and he reflexively grabs ahold of it and helps me to sit up. It’s only after I am completely upright that he registers my huge belly.
“HOLY CRAP!!!” he shouts again. “Holy crap!! Oh my God, what is that?! Are you… Are you PREGNANT?! Why are you still in this machine?! What the hell is…”
“Naruto!” I shout, amidst his bouncing, flailing and screaming. “Sit down and shut up!”
“Sorry, but… holy crap!!” he shouts, sitting back down heavily in the chair.
“Yes,” I start again, “I am pregnant. As you can see I’m actually very pregnant. I’m carrying twins.”
“Wow!” he says with a huge smile. He immediately pictures a tiny version of me and a tiny version of Gaara playing together in the streets of Suna. “Mizuke this is so awesome! Does Gaara…”
“NO!” I shout, startling him out of his new rant. “Garra does NOT know, and CANNOT know about his children. Not yet.”
“WHAT?!” he screeches. “What’s the big idea?! Gaara would love…”
“SHUT UP NARUTO!!” I shout over him again. “Please! Let me explain!”
He doesn’t respond except by flopping back in his chair in utter confusion. I realize now that somehow, Naruto never really understood why losing the baby before was such a big deal to everyone. He understood that it made Gaara and I sad, but Gaara never explained to him why he believed he had to leave me – and I never really explained why either. Naruto genuinely doesn’t know that carrying this child is a death sentence. He’s sitting there and trying to figure out why I wouldn’t want Gaara to know such good news.
“Naruto… there’s something I’ve never told you before.” I try to find the gentlest way to let him in on the problem. “It’s probably going to make you very upset, but I need you to give me a chance to explain, okay?”
He simply nods with his eyes stuck open like saucers.
“Do you remember when I lost the baby, right after Gaara rescued me?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he mumbles before looking at the floor. “I know that was awful for you Mizuke, which is why I don’t understand…”
“Naruto!”
“Sorry.”
“Believe it or not,” I continue, “these twins are actually the same pregnancy that everyone believed had died. I just didn’t find out that they were still alive until after Gaara came back for me.”
Naruto clamps his mouth shut, putting forth his best effort not to launch into another fit of shouting. Isn’t that a good thing?! He wonders.
“I don’t think anyone ever told you why Gaara was so upset, and why he chose to leave me when he did.” He shakes his head, indicating that no one told him anything. “Gaara was so upset because we both believed I wasn’t able to GET pregnant in the first place. I had been lied to about my health many years ago. Gaara thought it was safe to…” I smirk watching Naruto blush and stare more intensely at the floor, “sleep with me because he believed I couldn’t become pregnant. It was a shock to both of us to find out I WAS pregnant at all, much less losing a baby.”
“Okay,” he mumbles. “I get that I guess. But… why… why wouldn’t Gaara want you to get pregnant?” Suddenly, he backtracks in panic. “I mean… wait… you weren’t married. I get it. Nevermind, I just…”
“No,” I correct him. “I don’t think Gaara would have cared one way or the other about that. There is a much… more painful reason, Naruto.” He looks at me utterly confused again. “Gaara didn’t want to risk me becoming pregnant, because anyone who carries his child will die in childbirth.”
Naruto feels the bottom drop out of his stomach and the room begins to spin. He feels sick, and as he stares at my swollen stomach his mind begins racing.
“Nah…” he whispers in denial, “No, you… you can’t.” Tears begin welling in his eyes, and suddenly he squeezes them shut and jumps up onto his feet. “That’s not true! It can’t be true! This is all just a big mistake! You wait! You’ll see…”
I grab one of the chopsticks from the ramen package he brought with him and without hesitation move to jab it directly into my stomach. Naruto sees the movement but is too slow to stop me.
“WAIT!!” he screeches in panic.
The chopstick hits the suddenly visible layer of sand surrounding my belly and shatters on impact. It splinters into a dozen tiny pieces and lands on the floor with only the stump remaining in my hand. Naruto stares at the sand in shock.
“Naruto,” I say with tears threatening as I have to take in yet another person’s distress. “These babies have inherited their father’s abilities with sand – or at least we think so. Just like Gaara… the sand tries to protect them instinctively from danger. Tsunade believes that this ability – a new kekkei genkai – was formed when his body was merged with Shukaku and is now carried in his DNA.”
“But…” he says, trying desperately to understand, “Isn’t that a good thing?” He also wonders about what would happen to a child of his own. What kind of kekkei genkai would Kyuubi create?
“Yes,” I say with a sad smile. “Yes, it is a very good thing for the babies. But… It’s not such a good thing for me.”
“Why not?” he asks, with dread growing in the pit of his stomach. He knows from experience that nothing good comes from the work of the tailed beasts. Anger begins to burn inside his mind along with the confusion and fear.
“Because the sand doesn’t protect me the same way,” I try to explain. “When it comes time for the babies to be born… we can’t know how the sand will respond. But it has already shown it’s willing to… push through my body if necessary to try and shield them – to protect them.”
“You should tell Gaara about the babies!” he suddenly cries out in anger. “Maybe he could do something. Maybe he could…”
“No, Naruto!” I shout back. “You don’t understand! Gaara is terrified of this very possibility. If he believes he can save me by destroying these children… I’m afraid he’ll do it.”
“NO WAY!!” Naruto suddenly shouts, truly furious now. “How could you say such a thing about him?! He loves you! He’s not a monster! He wouldn’t kill his own kids!”
I am at a loss for how to convince him. I try to use another method. I reach into his mind and replay Gaara’s memory of his nightmares – the scene with the woman screaming in pain as she dies. Shukaku laughs and screams his glee in the background as a tiny Gaara watches it over and over with hollow eyes. I show him my memory again of the death in Gaara’s expression when he left me at the hospital. I replay for him Gaara’s emotions, the desperation at the very core of him to keep me safe. I replay the subtle thoughts I don’t want to remember – Gaara pondering what he would have done if the baby hadn’t died. His thoughts about how to protect me. His belief that it would be better for me to hate him forever and live, than to love him until a horrific death.
Naruto clutches his head in his hands, desperate to contradict the things I am showing him. Tears flow down his face freely and he eventually drops to his knees in heartache.
“Damn them,” he chokes out. “Damn them all! They didn’t ask us if we wanted this! They didn’t care how this would screw up our lives! I can’t believe this! How could they do this to Gaara?!” He curls in on himself in despair. What about me? He wonders, and I feel my tears fall at the truth of his new personal fears. Will I lose my wife too? Aren’t we allowed to have anything?
I don’t want to contradict his fears because I can’t possibly know the answer. How would anyone know how the mad fox affects his DNA unless Kyuubi tells him? Also, I know this internal reflection only helps him truly understand Gaara’s pain and fear. I trust Naruto not to judge him if we fail.
“Naruto…” I say in a soothing tone, trying to get him to return his thoughts to me. “Come over here. Please?”
He picks himself up off the floor and drags himself over to stand directly in front of me. All the life I love so much is gone from his eyes. His mourning is beginning, but I need him to be as invested in their protection as he is angry at the injustice of it all. I take his hand and place it on the top of my stomach, where I can feel one of the boy’s heads. The baby stirs beneath his hand and Naruto stiffens in surprise. The feeling seems to snap him out of his melancholy and he gives the faintest smile.
“THIS is what I need you to protect,” I whisper to him through my tears. “These babies Naruto – are more important to me than my own life. They’re living evidence of exactly how much I love Gaara. I need you to protect ME until they are born, and if I don’t succeed in hiding this from Gaara long enough… if he truly tries to kill them… I need you to protect THEM.”
He looks into my eyes with so much pain I almost cannot hold his gaze, but I will myself to. To my extreme relief, his expression begins to shift into determination. It holds an equal amount of anger.
“I’ll do it,” he says with ferocity in his tone. “I swear, Mizuke. I’ll protect you and I’ll protect these kids. There’s no way I’ll let Gaara hurt you, or hurt them. There’s no way I’d let Gaara do something he’ll regret for the rest of his life! Believe it!”
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- 59
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Love Me When I'm Gone

Author's Note:

57. White Knight