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The Blessed Realm	By : susanna Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1746 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Naruto, his friends and the world he lives in don't belong to me but to Masashi Kishimoto. I write this story only for my pleasure and I don't make any money with it.

Chapter List
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Chapter
Fifty: Not your fault

Naruto
put down the letter, sobered by Sakura's account of the situation in
Konoha and surprised that Sakura had talked of her mother, whom he
had never met, even though they had been teammates for years. He was
also surprised at her mother's perspective on the Uchiha massacre,
which was very different from his or Sasuke's: Sasuke, he thought,
was mainly interested in getting proof that Itachi had been ordered
to kill the clan, meaning that he had not been all crazy and evil,
and that he had always loved Sasuke. Naruto himself mostly wanted to
know whether taking out Danzou was justified, even though Sakura's
letters from Konoha made him think that even if he had not ordered
the massacre there were still a lot of reasons at least to remove him
from office.

He
looked up: Sasuke had finished his own, much shorter letter quite
some time ago.

“You
look worried”, he said. “Do you want to read something
funny to cheer you up?”

He
passed his letter to Naruto: It was written on pink paper, and it was
much heavier and of better quality than the sheet the letter to
Naruto had been written on. There were also flowers on the margin.

Naruto
began to read:

Dear
Sasuke!

What
do you mean saying you're gay? I'm pretty sure you aren't. You've
always been the manliest and strongest of the boys, even when we were
kids. Someone must have manipulated you into believing you're gay,
but you're not, I'm sure. It's Naruto's fault, probably. He's always
been obsessing about you, and it's pretty sure he's gay, with the
strange stuff he's always been wearing and his ridiculous showy
behaviour, always doing crazy stuff in order to impress people. He's
always been weird, but not you. He's clingy and possessive, but that
does not put you under any obligation to give in to him.

Always
in love, Sakura

Sasuke
was smiling when Naruto looked at him after having finished the
letter, challenging and teasing him, but he also looked nervous.
Naruto felt angry, at Sakura but also Sasuke: for making him read the
letter and learn what Sakura thought of him. It was ridiculous,
wasn't it? She was in love and getting irrational, wasn't she? Yet he
could not help thinking that there was a grain of truth in what she
said: He had always been clingy and possessive concerning Sasuke, and
he had been weird and sought attention as a kid.

“You
don't think it's true?” he asked Sasuke. “You don't think
it's my fault that you're gay, or that you think that you're gay?”

Sasuke
was irritated. He had expected Naruto to find the letter as absurd as
he did.

“I
don't think I'm gay”, he said. “I know it. I've known it
for years.”

“But
it's not my fault, is it? It's got nothing to do with me? People have
told me that you're born straight or gay, and that it's not possible
to change this.”

“People
have told me that they turned gay when they met someone special”,
Sasuke replied. “Or that they realized they were gay when they
met someone special.” He hesitated for a few seconds, then he
decided that this time he would not chicken out: “You couldn't
have helped it”, he said. “It's the way you smile, and
the warmth in your eyes. I saw it when we first met, and it hasn't
changed since then.”

Naruto
sat stiff and tense when he heard these words. He had expected
something on these lines for some days now, but not now, and not in
this form.

“It's
okay though”, Sasuke said. “I don't blame you. I don't
mind being gay. I enjoy it, actually. Here in Music Town they behave
in a respectable way, and are respected in return. They're not like
Orochimaru here.”

Naruto
listened, but none of Sasuke's words entered his brain.

“It's
okay, even if you are not gay. I'd never have been straight. I never
cared for girls. I always found them annoying. The idea of falling in
love with one of them was always strange to me. Now I understand why.
Here I can live, and fall in love.”

Slowly
Naruto's ability to think was returning. He realized that he had to
say something, that he could not let Sasuke continue to talk randomly
and nervously as he did now, just to fill the minutes of waiting, not
being at all his usual self. (He was still explaining to Naruto that
he was not angry at him, and that he liked this place where he felt
accepted, repeating the same things over and over in different words,
and sometimes in the same words.) He had to answer to Sasuke, and to
come to a decision: For days now he had pondered on what his answer
would be, and not come to a conclusion, and now he had to decide
within a few seconds.

He
left his place and went to the wardrobe where he knew he would find
the Valentine kit he had bought on Gay Pride Day. Sasuke stopped
talking and watched him anxiously.

Naruto
found the item, which was still gift-wrapped. He sat down next to
Sasuke on the bed, took his hands and laid the Valentine into them.

“It's
something that's meant to be given to a person you like”, he
said. “I bought it on the day you arrived in Music Town. I
should have seen it as a sign.”

Sasuke
still looked nervous. He was not sure whether this was not again one
of the things Naruto did for him because he was his friend. Slowly he
unwrapped the kit, with Naruto's hand lying on his shoulder. He found
a box of cardboard, which in its turn contained a pretty round wooden
box and a plastic bottle not unlike the ones that contained the gel
he used for his hair. He lifted the lid of the box and found some
condoms in aluminion foil, but having never seen any condoms nor
knowing how they were wrapped he had no idea what to make of them.

“People
here wear them against sexually transmitted diseases”, Naruto
explained.

“I
don't suffer from any”, Sasuke answered while he opened the
foil.

“Well,
they are meant to ensure that this remain so”, Naruto answered,
a bit annoyed by Sasuke's remark.

Sasuke
wondered: Was Naruto intimating that he, Naruto, suffered from a
sexually transmitted disease? He could not believe so. (Actually
Sasuke had never heard the term and could only conclude what it
meant. Neither did he know of the different kinds of diseases that
existed.) Or did Naruto want to protect him against sexually
transmitted diseases he might catch from other men?

He
had now removed the foil and found the condom itself. He held it
between the fingers, still not having any idea about it.

“It's
also used as a contraceptive”, Naruto said. “A protection
against pregnancy”, he added, not certain whether Sasuke knew
the word contraceptive.

“I
am male and I am gay”, Sasuke said. “Pregnancy is not
among my concerns.” (He had never heard of mpreg of course.)

He
had managed to unroll the condom. It looked limp and rather sad, but
at least it was obvious now how it was intended to be used.

“It's
weird”, he said.

“You
can also fill it with water and use it as a balloon”, Naruto
continued, feeling hurt that his present had been turned down. Also
he realized that the condom was no longer fit to be used for its
original purpose. “The form is a bit unusual, but actually they
are of higher quality than the balloons you get in toy stores.”

Sasuke
took another look at the cardboard box and found a leaflet with
instructions. He read them, then he took the bottle and read the text
on the back side too.

“Now
this makes sense”, he said. “This is just how people here
are: considerate and practically minded.”

Sasuke
unscrewed the bottle and took it to his nose. “Smells well”,
he said. “You want to have a try?”

He
took Naruto's hand and distributed some of it on his lower arm. It
was a gentle gesture, much gentler than how they normally touched
each other. Naruto shivered from Sasuke's tenderness, and he felt a
wave of warmth flood his body. It was getting all real suddenly: He
was a bit scared.

Sasuke
held both his hands even while Naruto lifted his arm to smell the
lube.

“Smells
well”, he said. “Better than your hair gel anyway.”

Sasuke
let go off his hands. For some time they stared at each other, then
Naruto took Sasuke's hands, and Sasuke smiled again. Carefully his
hands went up Naruto's arms, to his shoulders, his neck, his cheeks.
Naruto sat still and did not move.

“You
like it?” Sasuke asked.

“Yes,
sure”, Naruto answered.

He
was not sure at all. Sasuke's light touch on his skin, the intimacy
of having his hands on his cheeks – it was not like anything he
had imagined. Actually he had not imagined being touched by Sasuke at
all. He had only dreamt of touching him. His heart widened, his head
felt all soft so that he was unable to think clearly, and he also
felt a bit sad from the tenderness.

“You
aren't used to this”, Sasuke said, caressing Naruto's cheeks
with the back of his hands. “You will have to learn.”

Naruto
knew what he was referring to, and he felt hurt. “Don't tell me
you know more about this than me. You haven't slept with Orochimaru,
have you?”

Sasuke
broke the contact. “No, I haven't. I told you, he was
disgusting.”

Naruto
took Sasuke's hands and caressed them, and then he returned Sasuke's
gestures, touching his shoulders, his neck, his cheeks. This was more
like his dreams, but it did not make his soul melt as being touched
had. He wondered whether he was as gentle as Sasuke, and whether his
touch did to Sasuke what Sasuke's touch had done to him, Naruto. Just
when he was about to ask he saw that Sasuke was smiling, and that his
eyes were closed, so apparently he had got it right.

Sasuke
opened his eyes and caressed him again. Carefully he drew him into an
embrace. They had embraced before, but in most cases it had been him,
Naruto, who had initiated the embrace, and it had always been some
friendly hugs, rather firm than gentle.

They
were much more careful, much more tender, much more insecure now, and
for this reason, their embrace was much more intense. Their cheeks
touched – never had Naruto been so close to his friend. He felt
Sasuke's breath in his neck, and then he turned to kiss him on the
patch of skin where the cheek and the ear met. (This was where his
lips happened to be.) Slowly his lips moved in the direction of
Sasuke's mouth, and then Sasuke turned his head to meet him.

They
were shy at first, kissing with closed lips, but soon Naruto grew
more audacious and touched Sasuke's lips with his tongue. He had not
imagined them to be so fine and soft... Sasuke responded to him,
their tongues met and began to play with each other. Again, Naruto
lost his ability to think, and he felt that his soul was melting.
Warmth flooded his body, and this time it reached the lower regions
of his body too. He had not known that it was possible to get aroused
just from kissing. (Jiraya had never mentioned it in his books.)

They
had to part in order to breathe. They looked at each other and
smiled, and Sasuke lowered his eyes. Again Naruto was struck by his
beauty: I should tell him to smile more often he thought. Or maybe
not, or only when it's just the two of us. He felt confident with his
decision now, more than he had when he had given the present to
Sasuke. No woman's features were finer, clearer or more regular, no
woman could look cuter than Sasuke when he smiled.

Sasuke
reached out again, touching the back of Naruto's hands. “So
your present was not just for me but for the two of us”, he
said.

“Yeah,
sure”, Naruto answered, blushing now in his turn, and luckily
for him he did not know how cute he looked in Sasuke's eyes.

There
it was again, Sasuke thought, the trust and warmth he had fallen in
love with, and the familiar look of defiance: Whatever you do to me I
won't stop considering you my friend.

“Don't
worry”, he said, smiling. “Tonight I don't want to have
sex. Tonight I just want to kiss.”

He
would not admit it, but he was a bit scared too and would not have
wanted to have sex right now for his own sake either. Kissing had
turned out to be thoroughly enjoyable, and for the moment he was not
interested in more.

“You're
really Itachi's little brother”, Naruto said. “He spoke
to me just in the same way at our last encounter: Today I don't want
to fight. Today I only want to talk.”

A/N:

kanazerosukenaru:
Well, now you've got Sakura's letter to Sasuke... Hope you liked it.
Yes, I am determined to finish this story, even though it is getting
insanely long. I have a plan, and step by step I follow it.

Rahvin68:
Thanks for the review! Now you got Sakura's letter to Sasuke. When
the story is finished I will reread it and edit and shorten it by
fifty percent, and then I will have a look whether it was really off
track. I wanted to give Naruto some time too, after giving some time
to Sasuke. Also, the story is not just a love story – there is
still the question how they will get rid of Danzou.

Sneakyfox:
Thanks again for reviewing! Well, yes, the promise. Sakura is getting
desperate.

Andi-chan:
Thanks for reading and commenting! So it's still possible to read the
story from the beginning... I feel a bit embarrassed about it; it's
much longer than anything I would even begin to read. But I am glad
that it still finds some new readers, and I am glad that you like it,
and that you like its slow pace, mostly the slow pace of the romance.

I
try to include elements of the canon, and to answer to canon, but I
try to find an alternative to canon. Not tragedy or heroic legend,
but comedy.

Concerning
the question whether the story will be SasuNaru or NaruSasu: I have
plans...

And
now you got Sakura's letter to Sasuke.

Thanks
again for reviewing!
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